#1 You talk about the future or express deep love too soon #2 Main reason for been together is Physical Attraction #3 She/He uses the word Perfect too much #4 they are together to hold on to a specific time in life (because of summer camp etc..) #5 Has a recent history of non commital actions to other people #6 Huge Theological Differences (3 main points)
Is #1 a bad thing though? As in talking about the future. Can someone give me an example of how/why that is a bad thing. Bc I'm currently kind of doing that so I'd like to know :)
@@benkauffman9810 if i can interpret it right, what the post meant was that you talk abot the future and such too early in the relationship. Meaning that if you and your love one is together for 1-3 month (ealier than 3 years, my guess) and you mentioned about the future (having babies and such) it is toxic. How? Well, you are idealizing of what love is or what relationship is and you could be easily manipulated by someone who can possibly not love you long term or be committed. If you dont mind if i bring science into; you are distorting reality on your own liking which is a mental issue that need fixing. Its okay to distort reality but future prediction is far beyond your control. Plus you are lacking self love by putting that person in power by involving future which your partner might not want. The reason why it is toxic is because its too fast, you ade putting the relationship in a pedestal. You may want to slow down and see if that partner is really the one you want. Yes you may say that partner is the one but, you are overlooking red flags that your partner has. Your partner may be abusive, cheater, unsupportive, etc in further time together. Soon you may start hating your partner or your partner start getting annoyed by you and call it off.
@@benkauffman9810 I think it's important to stay in the present mostly when you are dating/in a relationship/courting (in my opinion three words for the same thing: a transition from friendship to a future together in Christian dating). You are still two individuals when you are dating with two separate lives and two separate futures but getting to know each other and thinking about if those lives might be able to mix. You don't discuss the future to much to soon. Like, yesterday you decided to date and now you're already talking in details about your future wishes? I once dated a guy who couldn't stop talking about how he wanted me to be the mother of his future children, that he wanted at least 3 children, and that he wanted a big lavish wedding, and that he wanted to grow old with me in a beautiful big house which in his head he already designed and I was just like: dude, we have just started dating, do we have to talk about this now? And if we talk about this is there also some room for my ideas on the subject? Who says I want kids? Who says I want that big lavish wedding? Sure, I believe when the time comes there can be some compromises but it does mean that we both have to compromise and how will that work if he isn't even interested in what I want (even if he hadn't brought up the subject of the future constantly I would have found out he wasn't interested in me at all, he was always so busy with his life, his career, his experiences, his hobbies, his ideas for our future together, there was no room for who I was and it's the biggest reason that we split up, even without his future talk it wouldn't have worked so what use was it even thinking about the future when the present was already disfunctional)? I think there's a time and place for everything. To discuss the wedding day and what kind of house you'll be looking for and how your life together will look like is best to discuss when you are engaged actually and until that time realize you have two different lives, two different hearts, two different goals in life. And you are getting to know each other better while dating (which is about the here and now as two individuals) to work towards engagement (which is about planning the life you will have together) which will lead to marriage (becoming one flesh). What if tomorrow you decide to split up? Even if you haven't given your body, you have already given your heart. Don't we have to guard our hearts according to what the Bible says? Future planning is a very intimate thing. And yes, at one point you have to go into that intimacy. But as I say there's a time and place for everything. And this is talk for when you know the person in front of you so well in the here and now that you already know that you could spend your life with him or her. That's when you start talking about the future and making plans. Proverbs 4:23 says: above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. How are you guarding your heart by becoming emotionally tied to the other and talking about the future together when it's not the right time yet?
You talk about the future or express deep love too soon ;( I met a girl, we started dating and we talked about the future well before dating, today she sent me a message that one of these days appears and blocked me in whatsapp
Takes active conscious effort and getting rid of photos avoiding mutual friends. Even though you have cried on your friend's shoulder before, after time and you feel you've emptied your complaints, stop complaining and suck it up. If it was meant to be, the Lord will find a way. If not don't waste any more effort.
Good job Mark. My wife and I took our time and got to really know each other first. We didn't start talking about the future until we were at least 6 to 8 months into our relationship (before we got married). She has never been unfaithful in the past and neither have I. And we both desired to serve God thru Jesus in all the ways He has called us to. And by no means did we see each other as "perfect". We both had flaws but loved eachother regardless. She is in fact a perfect fit for me... ☺ praise the Lord
Some men are just really good at playing women’s feelings in their own godly yet deceitful way... Very convincing in the beginning to couple of months dating until in the end they just act really opposite of what they introduced.
I can speak on this from experience. I met a girl in church who I really liked. We started dating. At the beginning we talked about God all the time but as we let sin enter our relationship we both started to backslide. There’s always 2 sides to the story. And we both caused each other to stumble.
Thanking God for leading me here to this video right now! I am 34 and the pressures from everyone for me to settle down, get married, and start a family is a constant reminder that you need to hurry up and not waste too much more time. A guy who was pursuing me every day for the last 2 weeks ticked off the top 4 red flags on this list and I was asking God to clearly show me a sign or do something to show me a sign that this relationship is not of Him and will not last because I was beginning to think I should just give in and start a serious relationship with this guy... well...God definitely answers prayers! Just tonight that guy stopped contacting me and blocked me after he told me he is in love with me and got upset that I'm not in love with him too. I love how God works! 😁 This video helped me clearly identify those signs so Thank You for sharing! I know God will still connect me to that man He has predestined for me 🙏🏽♥️ Keep blessing, teaching, encouraging, guiding, and building with your awesome videos!
I'm 39 and over the years I could have married for the sake of simply doing so, but I choose to wait for someone who helps me stay focused on God so we can grow in His love together. It's a package deal, God is a part of me in any relationship. Stay strong sister, God loves us!
I watched this vodeo like 6 months ago and I just didn't want to believe it all.... coz I was in that season of love boming,,, I overlooked the following signs, now I'm working on getting over that relationship and moving on. Easy come easy go✔️ I was so perfect according to him✔️ Non committal history ✔️ Theological differences✔️
Interesting discussion on idolization. I always feel like I learn a lot from you and definitely have been guilty of a couple of these. Thanks for sharing!
I found out in February 2019 that my ex girlfriend is now married. Although it was very painful (still is sometimes), I have learned much from the Lord and have been further sanctified. It is interesting to note however that only one of these 6 "red flags" were really applicable to our relationship. I believe our relationship more or less ended because of differences in personality (I am more extroverted and adventurous while she was more of an introverted stay home type.) rather than any of these six signs. I still enjoyed however hearing the speakers perspective and pray that the Lord will send me my future wife some day.
I met this girl when I started on my journey to have a strong relationship with God and I knew her for 6 months and I felt like I loved her and I told her and she said she loved me too but I really don't want to lose her but we are seeking a Christ Centered Relationship
Keep praying also If this relationship ends somehow know that God knows what is best for both of you and be ready to let that person go only cause you love that person. Also look for fruits and pray to Holy Spirit to guide you and give you affirmations that your relationship is truly the one right. If you notice that your relationship becomes somehow corruped and begin to sepaarrate you from Him end without hesitation. Be patient and stay strong in faith. God bless you!
I just had a break up and all the signs u just said were on point... Looks like the answers I was asking myself and my God, has, been answered by ur video.. Thank you🙏.. God bless u and all the people who r tendering their broken hearts...😇🙏👼
It's a process. I had the first one that he brought up. Her and I didn't actually get together, but we did have feelings for each other, and the reason it never worked, was because I was too passionate at the time, and she didn't want a boyfriend at that point in her life yet. I still struggled with my feelings for her, and I only JUST shook that last of it off, but the point is, don't give up. If you're the girl in your profile pic, you're young. I'm young. We still probably have a ways to go before we find our spouses.
God's word is wise teaching and so much more! II Timothy 3:16 All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, So that's why I trust my Bible. :)
Here's the issue with what you're saying... You WILL by default fall into these traps if you don't have a relationship with God Jesus Christ... The one true God...If you don't get your fulfillment and gratification from God alone by default you will be seeking it from people. If not people than other things that are unhealthy like sex, drugs, alcohol, money, women, porn, masturbation, partying, gambling etc. All of which are toxic and lead to a destructive life. And the gratification is only temporary you will need more of what already harms you... They will always let you down... Subconsciously without you knowing it you will be seeking your fullfillment from other people and holding them to a standard only God who is perfect can fullfilll. That's what you were designed by God for. A relationship with HIM... Nothing else will satisfy you... Plus as soon as that person does not meet your standard or fall short of it the relationship will turn toxic. Other religions can't save you from this trap because they are not worshipping the ONE TRUE GOD who through only HIM you'll find TRUE peace, joy, and fullfillment...
High five on the too soon... I met two people on Facebook that wanted to get married and had never met me... Really? I think not. Bahaha😂 scary thought.
I have that happen too. Some have success online though. But nothing is easy these days. Too many want sex right away. Even Christians. But are they really? That is against Gods rules.
You don't meet people on Facebook because you cannot see them their reaction when you ask a question etc. Also, they may be impersonating someone else. Shannan Watts met her psychopath husband on Facebook. He killed her and their children. He befriended her may I say more. .
My boyfriend and I have been dating two weeks, but we confessed feelings for each other 4 months ago and been friends for over a year. We do talk about our future because we like to know where we both stand. He told me he loved me last night and I didn't feel it was too soon even though weve only been dating 2 weeks because I've known him for over a year. I told him i loved him, too. everyone has different experiences. I think if either parties feel uncomfortable about what is being said/done, then it is too soon.
Just continue to take it slow. Being friends with someone is not the same as dating them, and two weeks is not long enough to know what that person is like within a relationship context. Feeling comfortable about something is not reliable because you could be being led by your emotions. Instead, be led by God and the Word.
@@misspriss2482 youre right. Two weeks is not enough to know everything. But we have been keeping Christ at our center and so far I'm gonna say he's the person I'm gonna marry:) I've been in other relationships and I know the difference now between healthy and unhealthy. Thanks so much for your advice, I'll definitely be keeping it in mind:)
Of course it’s not enough time to know everything by you don’t have to, you just need to be committed to finding out, but by asking lots of questions and having lots of experiences.
@@alyssabird720 hope you're still with them I'm 18 and my gf is 15 I've known of my gf for 4 years and finally realized I wanted what she made me feel I completely gave all my trust and everything I and her have bad bad disagreements but weve pushed through it and gotten through our problems we have had talks about the fute but were both Christian and in church and her father is a preacher
@@colejackson7386 we are still together! :) been dating 8 months now. We talk about marriage a lot. That's good. You're both still very young, so take your time! Communicate, make Christ the center, be gentle, and don't expect to read each other's minds. That's how my bf and I get through the toughest moments.
My boyfriend confessed his feelings for me by saying “I think you’re meant to be my wife.” This was before he even pursued me as a girlfriend. We’ve been together for a month and it’s been mostly deep, future-related conversations about faith and God. Now he’s saying that he’s abstaining from giving me any affection because he’s unsure if that’s what God wants. Sir am I being dumb
Please be careful sis. Do you even know him well? Do you like his character? Do you find him funny? Attractive? Do you like spending time with him because of his personality? I would also caution you to be wise with giving your affection because that can also cloud your judgement. Dating is DATA COLLECTION. Is this someone you could even see yourself with long-term?
There was another video I watched from this channel and it was, "guarding your heart" and the first rule was to accept feelings for each other but don't assume you'll be together- and I think that's so helpful. Also about the future thing- I don't think it's bad to talk about the future- as long as you aren't talking about the future involving THAT person- because then that's assuming you'll end up together. Coming from a future orientated person - I don't think it's wrong to talk about the future and what you want. For example, I want to do more missionary work when I'm older, and I don't think that's wrong to talk about that because that's getting to know the person- just as long as you don't assume that person youre talking to will be involved.
Still be careful with tier three differences if they relate to the ways you do ministry, or the ways you want to raise kids. Be especially careful if you are called to vocational ministry (if you feel called to be a pastor, missionary, etc. as your primary vocation). People who are getting serious about a dating relationship who are called into ministry should be called to doing ministry in complementary ways. If you and your partner feel called to do things in ways that are oppositional it’s not going to go well. Same goes for if you feel called to live and minister in different parts of the world, even if you hold the same principles.
Theological differences - I totally agree! This is one of the most important areas that I consider as well. Thank you so much for these valuable points!
Thanks Mark! Your insight and biblical expertise concerning relationships has really helped me grow in my knowledge and understanding on the matter. I look forward to watching more of your videos.
I was in a relationship that was spiritually dark and emotionally and psychologically abusive. I was too nieve in my approach to dating, believing that Christians who say they are Christians are Christians but in fact reveal clearly the opposite. I was infatuated by her and yes the physical aspect came too quickly. We sinned and I have deeply regretted that and have repented for all things I was certainly manipulated by her in her victimhood approach towards me, being very empathetic and being in the mindset of 'caring' (my mother had brain cancer at the time), I wanted to help her. The first two months were amazing, hilarious and the best time I had for a long time. But then the mask fell off soon after when the Lord told me to runaway but I didn't, I was so drained to have the energy to end it. She cheated on her previous boyfriend with multiple men and lied to a Christian institution about her faith to get on-board their Bible course. A few weeks prior to doing this Bible course she stole a phone from an old blind lady at a Christian charity in Bethlehem. Then she was cheating on me within the third month but was very good at manipulating the facts and gas lighting and playing the victim as if i was the bad guy and so wrong in my judgement. 8 months down the line, I ended the relationship a week before my mother died and lost all friendships that were established over 3 years at this Christian organisation. A massive wake up call concerning malevolence and Christian hipocrisy but also a keen lesson why one should heed to these red flags of Christian dating. I was vulnerable, my mother had brain cancer and I wanted to have a break from caring for her by going to this Christian organisation to help them and have a break. But instead it was filled with wolves in sheeps clothing. A further damning lesson: listen to those who love you the most and whom you trust.
Chris Wiseman I see this was two months ago but I hope that you are doing okay I just recently got out of an abusive relationship and I know how it feels Im sorry for everything you are going through I pray God gives you strength right now ❤️
This video was great and really eye opening for me. I really fell for a guy a while back and was left heartbroken. Watching this video now I can definitely see all these red flags that were present in the relationship I had with that person. Thank you so much for sharing this!
Excellent video Mark 👍 I want to add and basing on my previous experience that even two Christians (same theology, belief etc ) I think it's also possible they're still "unequally yoked" in a sense of God's calling. If one is called to do international missions and the other is called to serve in a local church. I had a situation like that in my early 20's and I'm glad I asked God about the guy, even I had a tiny crush but my heart was stirred up for missions and while praying to God about him He showed me the guy was meant to be a worship pastor in our church (he was just serving in worship team at that time). And also in that few months I serve in different countries and I ended up switching to another church.
If smo truly loves you/falls in love with you slowly you will recognize it by their actions! Only abusers say they love u and theis actions scream I hate you 😢😔
Number 6 is correct my ex boyfriend was a seven day Adventist and I am a Pentecostal and the relationship only lasted one year. Thank God we were never intimate. That is why the Bible said we must not be unequally yolk
you must not be unequally yoked. If yall arent working together in the same direction or one is dragging the other, thats the sign right there that it wont work out
I had a girlfriend who pulled out a list (of100 points!) and told me I was 'perfect' and 'The Lord's man for her life". I reeled back in horror, as if a human could be reduced to a bunch of boxed (or kept in one, for that matter). We are redeemed sinners, not perfect men.
Cheers for this great vid, Mark! That Tier System is great; I was unknowingly employing this system when I was in a supposed Christian relationship...until I discovered that he was essentially just giving lip-service. I should have asked more questions, sooner. But I was hoping not to come across like a "Bible Thumper" or overly militant or legalistic. Didn't want to mess with whatever burgeoning faith there *may* actually have been. But if I'd known more concretely about the Tier System, I'd have sussed out the truth much sooner. Lesson learned! lol! But even still, chaos & pain was thwarted by seeking God's face in the matter. God's grace is truly upon us! 👍💖
Thank you Mark for all your helpful videos. Can you kindly do a video on how to get back to God after a long period of backsliding? Thank you and God bless
6 months ago I watched this vodeo but I didn't want to accept the red flags coz I was in that season of love boming.... I got so heartbroken in the end and now I'm working on getting over it. The following red flags were so present; Easy come easy go ✔️ Idealisation ✔️ Convenience ✔️ Non committal history ✔️ Theological differences ✔️ Big lesson : IT IS WISE TO GUARD YOUR HEART
This was beyond helpful! I have been turning to these videos to determine whether or not I should stay in a relationship or continue dating someone and so far I have spotted 5 of these and I’ve been seeing him for a few weeks! Thank you! Message received! ❤️
Dang me and this guy I like speak on the future together but we're taking it slow. I hope that just because we speak on the future doesn't mean we won't last
Um I'm a metal head and my gf is a Christian a her parents are pastors. We are 1 year and 5 months. Lol. We are complete opposites. I prayed to god for a metal women. He always sends me Christian women. Definitely a sign from God to change.
Alright, I understand that in your first point you describe how you were doing ministry etc. You explained how people were excited but then “ ironically “ never ended up coming back. Here is the thing, every human being is different. God made us all different, with different characteristics. It is fact that we all have our own thought chains and those are not shared with other people, they are personal to us. Therefore, I can say that every person is different and we all show love in different ways or in similar ways. When you are dating someone and you search within God to help you ( my boyfriend and I of almost 8 months did this ) we searched within God to lead us. I do agree that as Christians we should look to God to guide us into the the right direction. However, I do disagree that loving deeply from the first month or two is “ bad “ or a “red flag” due to the fact as I said before, every person is different and people feel things differently and at different paces. You simply cannot say loving deeply is a red flag especially if it’s involving futuristic ideas being passed around. Marriage is a different idea entirely , yes that’s definitely more serious, however , even then every couple is different and will be unique with pace, and their delivery of love to one another. Not to mention the emotional states of each person. What if someone is just passionate ? Me for example. I’m extremely passionate and I love to talk about the future. Talking about the future with your partner isn’t a bad thing even from the start. It’s just two things that people need to remember: 1. Praying for Guidance and peace within your relationship 2. Maintaining a balanced and positive mindset and approach to loving the other person and keeping the relationship at a respectful level
I've been dating a guy for nearly 2 months. He said "I love you" one or two weeks after we started dating and I thought it was too soon. He told me he said it because he feel like "like" is too weak of a word to express how he feels. We've also talked about the future, like how I want to be going to grad school after college and him saying he'd be willing to move nearby if I go to grad school. We've briefly mentioned baby names, what our children would be like, and where we'd like to travel after school. This is the first relationship I've been in, and your #1 red flag got me worried. I don't know if we're going too fast.
It's easier to speed up later rather than slow down later. The examples you mentioned are not the end of the world/so bad. But it does sound a little rushed. When in doubt I would take it slow. Thanks for sharing and God bless
Baby names I would personally fantasize about in my head but not even talk about until I am pregnant. But that's my personal idea. Why talk about something you aren't sure is going to happen with that person? You don't know yet if you will get married. And what if you can't have children for medical reasons but you don't know it yet? What use was it to talk about baby names with someone who won't be able to be the father of those children? Just a thought. When it comes to college, that actually is good to talk about. Because that is your path to walk with or without him. It doesn't change if you would split up. It's your individual path. As he has his individual path. And you are dating to find out if those individual paths can be mixed. If you can live with the individual person in front of you. It's not a problem to talk about your individual path. But when it comes to the path as a married couple you'll take and start talking about that (wedding plans, how much children you hope to have, house, how would you divide the tasks when living together, etc) there's a time and place for everything and personally I think these subjects are very intimate and I wouldn't want to discuss any of these things with someone who I am not engaged with. But that's my choice. And for you that might be earlier already. But don't rush.
Taking to slow is the way to go. Society has normalized rushing into relationships after a few good dates. It’s wise to consult with God with someone you’re dating before forming a committed relationship.
I was married for 25 years to someone of a different denomination. The dogma between the two denominations was very similar but the way we lived our faith was very different. Christ is the center of my life but was not my ex's. I married young and didn't know how to properly discern the decision.
We have all the signs 😔 I know I have to move on but I'm so scared that I can't do it. He's still who he is, but I can't see any future for me in his eyes. I talk to God every day and ask Him for a path but still I'm so lost. I know God hear my prayers please help me out.
YES THANK YOU BRO.FOR YOUR GOD WORDS IN RELATIONSHIP BUT IN THIS ALL OF THE RELATIONSHIP I HAVE BEEN MORE CLEAR ABOUT IT BECAUSE THIS ALL HAVE BEEN HAPPENED TO ME IN MY LIFE .ANYWAY GOD BLESS YOU AND THANKS FOR SHARING.
Well that explains it. I'm reeling from a relationship that just ended that checked 1 through 4. I thought it was so good. We were making future plans, the attraction was great, she had so many of the same interests I do, including a common faith, in other words it appeared "perfect", and we dated for a few months in 1989. She said a lot of time had passed since then and we're both not what we were. I guess that means she realized I wasn't as perfect as she remembered. All this came and went in 2-1/2 months. But understanding this now doesn't make the pain any less.
I would really, really appreciate you doing a video on unequally yoked relationship. I've been dating someone whom I love for 6 months now but he recently said he doesn't want to read the Bible/get into a religion. I know I need to explain that knowing Jesus is more than a religion, but he shocked me in the moment. Anyway, please pray for me. I don't know what to do.
I am sorry to hear this However you cannot be unequally yoked Even will add this Being told they go to church regularly when in the end, they barely went a half dozen times a year is not honest or sincere
Also be mindufl brothers and sisters, i have been in encouragement dates where i see that some sisters use it as an excuse to be take out to town but never truly commit , its ok to say no !
This was a great video. It helped me put my original thoughts and feelings about relationship red flags into words. I kinda already knew this I just hadn't taken the time to organize these thoughts. Dating isn't something I concern myself with much.
It's getting close to the end. Jesus God who i love 😍 the most my eyes 👀 are open seen the world for what it really is God i want to be in love with you only because it's getting close to the end
Tamar was his half sister; she was Abselom’s sister from same mom/dad. Her rape and the lack of accountability is what drove Abselom to rage against David and challenge his leadership. Needless to say, Amnon ruined everyone’s life, esp Tamar who lived in self imposed singlehood for the rest of her life. That bit of David’s life is devestating...
There is a guy at church who is interested in me. I thought I should give him a chance as far as going out to dinner with him. We had good conversation but he was very quick to tell me that he knew I was the one God had for him. I don't think he has any bad intentions. I really do think he believes that. The problem is that it turned me away very quickly. I am a single mom and my last relationship was not good at all and I don't ever want to go through that pain again and let alone drag my child into something like that again. So, I just stop all contact with him and I can tell that he is very hurt. My question is, should I talk to him about it or should I just keep running for the hills?
I would say that you explain how you feel and how it changed how you see him, and try to give him closure and transparency so he can learn from the experience as well. I’d say that offering that shows taking responsibility for how your actions may affect him, and would make him feel respected by you. I find a lot of times men value honesty about actions more than actions themselves. It helps bring closure when you feel the person was honest with you and respects you enough to tell you the truth, even if it isn’t convienant. If his behavior after that seems to go towards the unhealthy side, I would say keep running for the hills. But I do believe an explanation for everything would go a long way, and help him grow more as well, and hopefully it gives him a greater sense of discernment of what things are appropriate at what times to share with what people. That is just my take on it, obviously pray on it, and seek counsel. Have a wonderful day!
I'm going through the same. I've actually met a guy I could be equally yoked with. Every part of me wants to run for the hills. I've been ignoring him. But, I should talk to him. I should.
Amen, God said in his word that you have to be from the same yoke. Cause if your not and its doesn't work you started wrong and let them go. God also let the holy spirit to guide us through in our walk in christ and not lead to our own understanding. A relationship would last as long as you want it to last. If both are looking to grow old together and believe in yourselfers as you put your look on to God. If it his will. You see people forget you both have to put your parts and God has to put his. In order for God to help you build a strong foundation in your marriage. When people get married they're marriage is a ministry that declare what marriage in Gods word.God bless you📙
Hi can you do a video about the difference between dating and being married in regards to expectations? For instance, in marriage of course the husband should call back or text back to stay in communication with his wife and vise versa. Or in marriage there should deep conversations about feelings etc. Are these also things that should be expected in dating? My boyfriend doesn’t respond to my texts and he doesn’t reach out to me when he’s having car issues for instance. I sometimes feel like he’s not involving me in his life. But I also feel I may be asking for too much. Help. :)
Basically I like to think of it like this. The Bible doesn't talk about dating but it talks about marriage. So essentially if you aren't married to someone, you two are still separate and that person is not yours, but if your boyfriend isn't putting any effort in, then big red flag. You want to be treated like a sister in Christ and you should feel loved and cared for. If you aren't feeling appreciated, loved, or cared for then that calls for worry and you should probably most definitely end things. But it's good to communicate with your partner to understand both sides. Idk if that helped but that's what i have
All of these except for theological differences applied to my relationship . . . i certainly do not plan on ending it but are there ways i can reverse the effects of what has happened. Starting over essentially?
@@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger the question is, now that I know what mistakes I have made (i.e. rushing things), is it worth me contacting him again and give us another chance?
I feel like a tier 2 disagreement should be as bad as a tier 1. My training behind this is, if the woman and man are going to 2 different denominations and churches, how can the man spiritually lead his wife? Isn't that what men are supposed to do? Men over women over children.
You can appear to be non committal when feeling like you're being forced to do something(people not taking no or not now for an answer), being there is no longer effective or feel like you are no longer needed besides entered into doing something you hadn't prayed about. Sometimes it's OK to walk away from things or people who you feel you are not being respected by, you feel less than yourself or have to compromise any good thing about yourself. So I guess non committal to one person is another one's freedom.
What you describe sounds like not committing for a good reason. I would describe "non committal" as not committing when there is not a good reason and the person just wants to play games. So I agree w what you are saying.
#1 You talk about the future or express deep love too soon
#2 Main reason for been together is Physical Attraction
#3 She/He uses the word Perfect too much
#4 they are together to hold on to a specific time in life (because of summer camp etc..)
#5 Has a recent history of non commital actions to other people
#6 Huge Theological Differences (3 main points)
Is #1 a bad thing though? As in talking about the future. Can someone give me an example of how/why that is a bad thing. Bc I'm currently kind of doing that so I'd like to know :)
@@benkauffman9810 if i can interpret it right, what the post meant was that you talk abot the future and such too early in the relationship. Meaning that if you and your love one is together for 1-3 month (ealier than 3 years, my guess) and you mentioned about the future (having babies and such) it is toxic. How? Well, you are idealizing of what love is or what relationship is and you could be easily manipulated by someone who can possibly not love you long term or be committed. If you dont mind if i bring science into; you are distorting reality on your own liking which is a mental issue that need fixing. Its okay to distort reality but future prediction is far beyond your control. Plus you are lacking self love by putting that person in power by involving future which your partner might not want. The reason why it is toxic is because its too fast, you ade putting the relationship in a pedestal. You may want to slow down and see if that partner is really the one you want. Yes you may say that partner is the one but, you are overlooking red flags that your partner has. Your partner may be abusive, cheater, unsupportive, etc in further time together. Soon you may start hating your partner or your partner start getting annoyed by you and call it off.
@@benkauffman9810 I think it's important to stay in the present mostly when you are dating/in a relationship/courting (in my opinion three words for the same thing: a transition from friendship to a future together in Christian dating). You are still two individuals when you are dating with two separate lives and two separate futures but getting to know each other and thinking about if those lives might be able to mix. You don't discuss the future to much to soon. Like, yesterday you decided to date and now you're already talking in details about your future wishes? I once dated a guy who couldn't stop talking about how he wanted me to be the mother of his future children, that he wanted at least 3 children, and that he wanted a big lavish wedding, and that he wanted to grow old with me in a beautiful big house which in his head he already designed and I was just like: dude, we have just started dating, do we have to talk about this now? And if we talk about this is there also some room for my ideas on the subject? Who says I want kids? Who says I want that big lavish wedding? Sure, I believe when the time comes there can be some compromises but it does mean that we both have to compromise and how will that work if he isn't even interested in what I want (even if he hadn't brought up the subject of the future constantly I would have found out he wasn't interested in me at all, he was always so busy with his life, his career, his experiences, his hobbies, his ideas for our future together, there was no room for who I was and it's the biggest reason that we split up, even without his future talk it wouldn't have worked so what use was it even thinking about the future when the present was already disfunctional)? I think there's a time and place for everything. To discuss the wedding day and what kind of house you'll be looking for and how your life together will look like is best to discuss when you are engaged actually and until that time realize you have two different lives, two different hearts, two different goals in life. And you are getting to know each other better while dating (which is about the here and now as two individuals) to work towards engagement (which is about planning the life you will have together) which will lead to marriage (becoming one flesh).
What if tomorrow you decide to split up? Even if you haven't given your body, you have already given your heart. Don't we have to guard our hearts according to what the Bible says? Future planning is a very intimate thing. And yes, at one point you have to go into that intimacy. But as I say there's a time and place for everything. And this is talk for when you know the person in front of you so well in the here and now that you already know that you could spend your life with him or her. That's when you start talking about the future and making plans. Proverbs 4:23 says: above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. How are you guarding your heart by becoming emotionally tied to the other and talking about the future together when it's not the right time yet?
You talk about the future or express deep love too soon ;(
I met a girl, we started dating and we talked about the future well before dating, today she sent me a message that one of these days appears and blocked me in whatsapp
Thx
Am praying to God to let me forget about someone and move on
have you managed?
How are you doing Ali?
Takes active conscious effort and getting rid of photos avoiding mutual friends. Even though you have cried on your friend's shoulder before, after time and you feel you've emptied your complaints, stop complaining and suck it up. If it was meant to be, the Lord will find a way. If not don't waste any more effort.
@@dapdne4916 I absolutely agree, I maybe on the "meant to be" section.
I hope this helps ua-cam.com/video/ouewfgiINiA/v-deo.html
after listening to this... thank u God that i am single!!! if God wills me to marry it will happen but if not then i still will love God.
Good job Mark. My wife and I took our time and got to really know each other first. We didn't start talking about the future until we were at least 6 to 8 months into our relationship (before we got married). She has never been unfaithful in the past and neither have I. And we both desired to serve God thru Jesus in all the ways He has called us to. And by no means did we see each other as "perfect". We both had flaws but loved eachother regardless. She is in fact a perfect fit for me... ☺ praise the Lord
Amen M.J, In Christ I Stand!
🙌💑
How did you know she was the one??
@@bgirlvrock What is your email address?
I wish I had done this in my last relationship I moved too quickly
Some men are just really good at playing women’s feelings in their own godly yet deceitful way... Very convincing in the beginning to couple of months dating until in the end they just act really opposite of what they introduced.
Ellen Mendoza 💯
Those are the WORST type of people
I can speak on this from experience. I met a girl in church who I really liked. We started dating. At the beginning we talked about God all the time but as we let sin enter our relationship we both started to backslide. There’s always 2 sides to the story. And we both caused each other to stumble.
You know, everytime I pray something specific, you always upload a video that's in answer to that.
I'm so glad the channel has been helpful!
When they have NO SPIRITUALITY
David Thomspson amén 🙏🏼
Thanking God for leading me here to this video right now! I am 34 and the pressures from everyone for me to settle down, get married, and start a family is a constant reminder that you need to hurry up and not waste too much more time.
A guy who was pursuing me every day for the last 2 weeks ticked off the top 4 red flags on this list and I was asking God to clearly show me a sign or do something to show me a sign that this relationship is not of Him and will not last because I was beginning to think I should just give in and start a serious relationship with this guy... well...God definitely answers prayers! Just tonight that guy stopped contacting me and blocked me after he told me he is in love with me and got upset that I'm not in love with him too. I love how God works! 😁 This video helped me clearly identify those signs so Thank You for sharing! I know God will still connect me to that man He has predestined for me 🙏🏽♥️ Keep blessing, teaching, encouraging, guiding, and building with your awesome videos!
I'm 39 and over the years I could have married for the sake of simply doing so, but I choose to wait for someone who helps me stay focused on God so we can grow in His love together. It's a package deal, God is a part of me in any relationship. Stay strong sister, God loves us!
So many people get married because of pressure. I'm glad you prayed about this. I went through this too.
Red flag when a person just met me and in 2 weeks they want to move in and get married...what the hell NOT!!
The man kept smoking and drinking and kept things from me. Time to finally give up. 😢😞😖
Dn't worry you deserve some one better
Yes, lying is never good...
Your idolization examples are really great. Thank you!
I'm so glad this was helpful!
Beware Narcissists are everywhere..get schooled in how they operate here on youtube...
I have learned about narcissistic people after a narc guy broke my heart and soul. God is healing me now. 💖🌻🙏
I watched this vodeo like 6 months ago and I just didn't want to believe it all.... coz I was in that season of love boming,,, I overlooked the following signs, now I'm working on getting over that relationship and moving on.
Easy come easy go✔️
I was so perfect according to him✔️
Non committal history ✔️
Theological differences✔️
Extreme lust for the person. That blinds a person. With in time that fades and then nothing is there just physical
Interesting discussion on idolization. I always feel like I learn a lot from you and definitely have been guilty of a couple of these. Thanks for sharing!
So glad this channel has been helpful to you Momma's Happy Place!
Oh my making a relationship or man an idol is soo easy when you desire to be married. Totally relate.
If they don't respect your boundaries!! That's a major red flag!
Your such a grace, to my life brother. I was on the right train..but the wrong track. But now...I'm back! Praise God man.
Amen, I'm so glad this content has been helpful to you :)
I found out in February 2019 that my ex girlfriend is now married. Although it was very painful (still is sometimes), I have learned much from the Lord and have been further sanctified. It is interesting to note however that only one of these 6 "red flags" were really applicable to our relationship. I believe our relationship more or less ended because of differences in personality (I am more extroverted and adventurous while she was more of an introverted stay home type.) rather than any of these six signs. I still enjoyed however hearing the speakers perspective and pray that the Lord will send me my future wife some day.
I met this girl when I started on my journey to have a strong relationship with God and I knew her for 6 months and I felt like I loved her and I told her and she said she loved me too but I really don't want to lose her but we are seeking a Christ Centered Relationship
Keep praying also If this relationship ends somehow know that God knows what is best for both of you and be ready to let that person go only cause you love that person. Also look for fruits and pray to Holy Spirit to guide you and give you affirmations that your relationship is truly the one right. If you notice that your relationship becomes somehow corruped and begin to sepaarrate you from Him end without hesitation. Be patient and stay strong in faith. God bless you!
I just had a break up and all the signs u just said were on point... Looks like the answers I was asking myself and my God, has, been answered by ur video.. Thank you🙏.. God bless u and all the people who r tendering their broken hearts...😇🙏👼
I had at least 3 of these red flags...rip my relationship #lonelyforlife lol
Not lonely for life :)
If you are the woman in your profile pic -- probably not #lonelyforlife
you should work some of those out and start over, if you do and it’s the same, end it
U will find someone fur u
It's a process. I had the first one that he brought up. Her and I didn't actually get together, but we did have feelings for each other, and the reason it never worked, was because I was too passionate at the time, and she didn't want a boyfriend at that point in her life yet. I still struggled with my feelings for her, and I only JUST shook that last of it off, but the point is, don't give up. If you're the girl in your profile pic, you're young. I'm young. We still probably have a ways to go before we find our spouses.
Very thought provoking. Especially the idolization part. Its hard trying to be perfect when indeed its impossible to do so. God bless.
That's why it's good to not have any expectations. The more you do the more you will be dissapointed.
These are red flags wether you are Christian or not!
God's word is wise teaching and so much more!
II Timothy 3:16 All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness,
So that's why I trust my Bible. :)
EXACTLY
Wether you're HELL bound or not...
Here's the issue with what you're saying... You WILL by default fall into these traps if you don't have a relationship with God Jesus Christ... The one true God...If you don't get your fulfillment and gratification from God alone by default you will be seeking it from people. If not people than other things that are unhealthy like sex, drugs, alcohol, money, women, porn, masturbation, partying, gambling etc. All of which are toxic and lead to a destructive life. And the gratification is only temporary you will need more of what already harms you... They will always let you down... Subconsciously without you knowing it you will be seeking your fullfillment from other people and holding them to a standard only God who is perfect can fullfilll. That's what you were designed by God for. A relationship with HIM... Nothing else will satisfy you... Plus as soon as that person does not meet your standard or fall short of it the relationship will turn toxic. Other religions can't save you from this trap because they are not worshipping the ONE TRUE GOD who through only HIM you'll find TRUE peace, joy, and fullfillment...
Nate Perez AGREED!
High five on the too soon... I met two people on Facebook that wanted to get married and had never met me... Really? I think not. Bahaha😂 scary thought.
👍
I have that happen too. Some have success online though. But nothing is easy these days. Too many want sex right away. Even Christians. But are they really? That is against Gods rules.
janetfeig5, exactly! Is it just lip-service? And you lay down the righteous boundaries & they seem confused. smh
You don't meet people on Facebook because you cannot see them their reaction when you ask a question etc. Also, they may be impersonating someone else. Shannan Watts met her psychopath husband on Facebook. He killed her and their children. He befriended her may I say more. .
Lol yes😁🤦
My boyfriend and I have been dating two weeks, but we confessed feelings for each other 4 months ago and been friends for over a year. We do talk about our future because we like to know where we both stand. He told me he loved me last night and I didn't feel it was too soon even though weve only been dating 2 weeks because I've known him for over a year. I told him i loved him, too. everyone has different experiences. I think if either parties feel uncomfortable about what is being said/done, then it is too soon.
Just continue to take it slow. Being friends with someone is not the same as dating them, and two weeks is not long enough to know what that person is like within a relationship context. Feeling comfortable about something is not reliable because you could be being led by your emotions. Instead, be led by God and the Word.
@@misspriss2482 youre right. Two weeks is not enough to know everything. But we have been keeping Christ at our center and so far I'm gonna say he's the person I'm gonna marry:) I've been in other relationships and I know the difference now between healthy and unhealthy. Thanks so much for your advice, I'll definitely be keeping it in mind:)
Of course it’s not enough time to know everything by you don’t have to, you just need to be committed to finding out, but by asking lots of questions and having lots of experiences.
@@alyssabird720 hope you're still with them I'm 18 and my gf is 15 I've known of my gf for 4 years and finally realized I wanted what she made me feel I completely gave all my trust and everything I and her have bad bad disagreements but weve pushed through it and gotten through our problems we have had talks about the fute but were both Christian and in church and her father is a preacher
@@colejackson7386 we are still together! :) been dating 8 months now. We talk about marriage a lot.
That's good. You're both still very young, so take your time! Communicate, make Christ the center, be gentle, and don't expect to read each other's minds. That's how my bf and I get through the toughest moments.
Thank you!! So glad to hear you waited to say I Love You when you proposed! Very wise!
I also met my wife on a mission trip. We have been married for 22 1/2 years.
These are so true. You're on point. Thanks brother. God bless you.
God bless you too Cloyette Grant 👍
My boyfriend confessed his feelings for me by saying “I think you’re meant to be my wife.” This was before he even pursued me as a girlfriend. We’ve been together for a month and it’s been mostly deep, future-related conversations about faith and God. Now he’s saying that he’s abstaining from giving me any affection because he’s unsure if that’s what God wants.
Sir am I being dumb
Please be careful sis. Do you even know him well? Do you like his character? Do you find him funny? Attractive? Do you like spending time with him because of his personality? I would also caution you to be wise with giving your affection because that can also cloud your judgement. Dating is DATA COLLECTION. Is this someone you could even see yourself with long-term?
Ummm if youre a Christian you know that fornication (sex before marriage) is sin so him abstaining from fornication is not weird
There was another video I watched from this channel and it was, "guarding your heart" and the first rule was to accept feelings for each other but don't assume you'll be together- and I think that's so helpful. Also about the future thing- I don't think it's bad to talk about the future- as long as you aren't talking about the future involving THAT person- because then that's assuming you'll end up together. Coming from a future orientated person - I don't think it's wrong to talk about the future and what you want. For example, I want to do more missionary work when I'm older, and I don't think that's wrong to talk about that because that's getting to know the person- just as long as you don't assume that person youre talking to will be involved.
Still be careful with tier three differences if they relate to the ways you do ministry, or the ways you want to raise kids. Be especially careful if you are called to vocational ministry (if you feel called to be a pastor, missionary, etc. as your primary vocation). People who are getting serious about a dating relationship who are called into ministry should be called to doing ministry in complementary ways. If you and your partner feel called to do things in ways that are oppositional it’s not going to go well. Same goes for if you feel called to live and minister in different parts of the world, even if you hold the same principles.
Theological differences - I totally agree! This is one of the most important areas that I consider as well. Thank you so much for these valuable points!
#4 is true even of friendships. Even good friendships, sadly.
WOW THESE RED FLAGS ARE SUPER HELPFUL. Thanks for sharing!
I have never thought about the theological differences. This is so true. I think it is too hard for finding the one.
Thanks Mark! Your insight and biblical expertise concerning relationships has really helped me grow in my knowledge and understanding on the matter. I look forward to watching more of your videos.
That's awesome to hear Cameron Fleener! So glad you are enjoying AGW:)
I was in a relationship that was spiritually dark and emotionally and psychologically abusive. I was too nieve in my approach to dating, believing that Christians who say they are Christians are Christians but in fact reveal clearly the opposite. I was infatuated by her and yes the physical aspect came too quickly. We sinned and I have deeply regretted that and have repented for all things I was certainly manipulated by her in her victimhood approach towards me, being very empathetic and being in the mindset of 'caring' (my mother had brain cancer at the time), I wanted to help her. The first two months were amazing, hilarious and the best time I had for a long time. But then the mask fell off soon after when the Lord told me to runaway but I didn't, I was so drained to have the energy to end it.
She cheated on her previous boyfriend with multiple men and lied to a Christian institution about her faith to get on-board their Bible course. A few weeks prior to doing this Bible course she stole a phone from an old blind lady at a Christian charity in Bethlehem. Then she was cheating on me within the third month but was very good at manipulating the facts and gas lighting and playing the victim as if i was the bad guy and so wrong in my judgement. 8 months down the line, I ended the relationship a week before my mother died and lost all friendships that were established over 3 years at this Christian organisation. A massive wake up call concerning malevolence and Christian hipocrisy but also a keen lesson why one should heed to these red flags of Christian dating. I was vulnerable, my mother had brain cancer and I wanted to have a break from caring for her by going to this Christian organisation to help them and have a break. But instead it was filled with wolves in sheeps clothing. A further damning lesson: listen to those who love you the most and whom you trust.
Chris Wiseman I see this was two months ago but I hope that you are doing okay I just recently got out of an abusive relationship and I know how it feels Im sorry for everything you are going through I pray God gives you strength right now ❤️
I hope you are doing better now.
This video was great and really eye opening for me. I really fell for a guy a while back and was left heartbroken. Watching this video now I can definitely see all these red flags that were present in the relationship I had with that person. Thank you so much for sharing this!
Mark, just love your sound wisdom and all of the videos you share.
Excellent video Mark 👍 I want to add and basing on my previous experience that even two Christians (same theology, belief etc ) I think it's also possible they're still "unequally yoked" in a sense of God's calling. If one is called to do international missions and the other is called to serve in a local church. I had a situation like that in my early 20's and I'm glad I asked God about the guy, even I had a tiny crush but my heart was stirred up for missions and while praying to God about him He showed me the guy was meant to be a worship pastor in our church (he was just serving in worship team at that time). And also in that few months I serve in different countries and I ended up switching to another church.
Great point Sarah, thanks for sharing your experiences w/ us!
Number four sort of describes my “MAGICAL” not so magical season. We were deployed… NUFF said’😂
If smo truly loves you/falls in love with you slowly you will recognize it by their actions! Only abusers say they love u and theis actions scream I hate you 😢😔
One of the best books on Relationships I’ve read!!! So sound!
👍
Miss B which book?
Naa Essegbey his book “The One”
Nicely done. Right to the point, especially point6 lifts me up and encourages me to stay bold and speak out on theological topics! Thank you very much
Glad this was helpful to you, God bless!
Thank you I really needed to hear this advice :)
It is really hard to be a single Christian woman in 2020
Number 6 is correct my ex boyfriend was a seven day Adventist and I am a Pentecostal and the relationship only lasted one year. Thank God we were never intimate. That is why the Bible said we must not be unequally yolk
you must not be unequally yoked. If yall arent working together in the same direction or one is dragging the other, thats the sign right there that it wont work out
@@puffypina5300 it was a typo error I meant not unequally yolk
Thanks Mark! Great guide...and point #6, Tier 1-3, is especially helpful! 👍
You are welcome Rose, I need to do a more in depth video on that point :)
ApplyGodsWord.com/Mark Ballenger Yes.. please!
I had a girlfriend who pulled out a list (of100 points!) and told me I was 'perfect' and 'The Lord's man for her life". I reeled back in horror, as if a human could be reduced to a bunch of boxed (or kept in one, for that matter). We are redeemed sinners, not perfect men.
“Reeled back in horror” 😭😭🤣
I can relate to this, but I make sure that I learned something out from those experiences😀
Cheers for this great vid, Mark! That Tier System is great; I was unknowingly employing this system when I was in a supposed Christian relationship...until I discovered that he was essentially just giving lip-service. I should have asked more questions, sooner. But I was hoping not to come across like a "Bible Thumper" or overly militant or legalistic. Didn't want to mess with whatever burgeoning faith there *may* actually have been. But if I'd known more concretely about the Tier System, I'd have sussed out the truth much sooner. Lesson learned! lol! But even still, chaos & pain was thwarted by seeking God's face in the matter. God's grace is truly upon us! 👍💖
Amen Disa, God makes it clear when we seek him. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you Mark for all your helpful videos. Can you kindly do a video on how to get back to God after a long period of backsliding? Thank you and God bless
"Humble yourself" and come back to him with a repentant heart. He is a merciful God and will happily take u back
6 months ago I watched this vodeo but I didn't want to accept the red flags coz
I was in that season of love boming....
I got so heartbroken in the end and now I'm working on getting over it. The following red flags were so present;
Easy come easy go ✔️
Idealisation ✔️
Convenience ✔️
Non committal history ✔️
Theological differences ✔️
Big lesson :
IT IS WISE TO GUARD YOUR HEART
This was beyond helpful! I have been turning to these videos to determine whether or not I should stay in a relationship or continue dating someone and so far I have spotted 5 of these and I’ve been seeing him for a few weeks! Thank you! Message received! ❤️
I'm so glad it was helpful! God bless!
Thank you and God bless you as well! ❤️
I feel like I've got all 6 of these flags😔 I feel doomed... Lord help me
Dang me and this guy I like speak on the future together but we're taking it slow. I hope that just because we speak on the future doesn't mean we won't last
Life experiences mean a great deal in long term relationships and only a honest person can speak about them.
Awesome channel !!! where were you 30 years ago ?
CHEERS !!
All glory to God!
Not sure how I ended up here, but this is REALLY good stuff!! Great vid👌💛
Um I'm a metal head and my gf is a Christian a her parents are pastors. We are 1 year and 5 months. Lol. We are complete opposites. I prayed to god for a metal women. He always sends me Christian women. Definitely a sign from God to change.
Hi! Did you ever end up accepting Christ as your Lord and Savior?
I think I was lead here to watch this video. Number one has been a huge problem.
Alright, I understand that in your first point you describe how you were doing ministry etc. You explained how people were excited but then “ ironically “ never ended up coming back. Here is the thing, every human being is different. God made us all different, with different characteristics. It is fact that we all have our own thought chains and those are not shared with other people, they are personal to us. Therefore, I can say that every person is different and we all show love in different ways or in similar ways. When you are dating someone and you search within God to help you ( my boyfriend and I of almost 8 months did this ) we searched within God to lead us. I do agree that as Christians we should look to God to guide us into the the right direction. However, I do disagree that loving deeply from the first month or two is “ bad “ or a “red flag” due to the fact as I said before, every person is different and people feel things differently and at different paces. You simply cannot say loving deeply is a red flag especially if it’s involving futuristic ideas being passed around. Marriage is a different idea entirely , yes that’s definitely more serious, however , even then every couple is different and will be unique with pace, and their delivery of love to one another. Not to mention the emotional states of each person. What if someone is just passionate ? Me for example. I’m extremely passionate and I love to talk about the future. Talking about the future with your partner isn’t a bad thing even from the start. It’s just two things that people need to remember:
1. Praying for Guidance and peace within your relationship
2. Maintaining a balanced and positive mindset and approach to loving the other person and keeping the relationship at a respectful level
Well put
When someone says perfect it’s just means the right person for them not that they actually never make a mistake
I've been dating a guy for nearly 2 months. He said "I love you" one or two weeks after we started dating and I thought it was too soon. He told me he said it because he feel like "like" is too weak of a word to express how he feels. We've also talked about the future, like how I want to be going to grad school after college and him saying he'd be willing to move nearby if I go to grad school. We've briefly mentioned baby names, what our children would be like, and where we'd like to travel after school. This is the first relationship I've been in, and your #1 red flag got me worried. I don't know if we're going too fast.
It's easier to speed up later rather than slow down later. The examples you mentioned are not the end of the world/so bad. But it does sound a little rushed. When in doubt I would take it slow. Thanks for sharing and God bless
Thanks for your input!
Baby names I would personally fantasize about in my head but not even talk about until I am pregnant. But that's my personal idea. Why talk about something you aren't sure is going to happen with that person? You don't know yet if you will get married. And what if you can't have children for medical reasons but you don't know it yet? What use was it to talk about baby names with someone who won't be able to be the father of those children? Just a thought.
When it comes to college, that actually is good to talk about. Because that is your path to walk with or without him. It doesn't change if you would split up. It's your individual path. As he has his individual path. And you are dating to find out if those individual paths can be mixed. If you can live with the individual person in front of you. It's not a problem to talk about your individual path. But when it comes to the path as a married couple you'll take and start talking about that (wedding plans, how much children you hope to have, house, how would you divide the tasks when living together, etc) there's a time and place for everything and personally I think these subjects are very intimate and I wouldn't want to discuss any of these things with someone who I am not engaged with. But that's my choice. And for you that might be earlier already. But don't rush.
Ur points are great,but atimes it does not work for everyone cos everyone's relationship is different.
Taking to slow is the way to go. Society has normalized rushing into relationships after a few good dates. It’s wise to consult with God with someone you’re dating before forming a committed relationship.
I was married for 25 years to someone of a different denomination. The dogma between the two denominations was very similar but the way we lived our faith was very different. Christ is the center of my life but was not my ex's. I married young and didn't know how to properly discern the decision.
We have all the signs 😔 I know I have to move on but I'm so scared that I can't do it. He's still who he is, but I can't see any future for me in his eyes. I talk to God every day and ask Him for a path but still I'm so lost. I know God hear my prayers please help me out.
If they love God more than there mate than you can't idol that person
YES
THANK YOU BRO.FOR YOUR GOD WORDS IN RELATIONSHIP BUT IN THIS ALL OF THE RELATIONSHIP I HAVE BEEN MORE CLEAR ABOUT IT BECAUSE THIS ALL HAVE BEEN HAPPENED TO ME IN MY LIFE .ANYWAY GOD BLESS YOU AND THANKS FOR SHARING.
My pleasure Jeliar 1212! God bless 👍
Well that explains it. I'm reeling from a relationship that just ended that checked 1 through 4. I thought it was so good. We were making future plans, the attraction was great, she had so many of the same interests I do, including a common faith, in other words it appeared "perfect", and we dated for a few months in 1989. She said a lot of time had passed since then and we're both not what we were. I guess that means she realized I wasn't as perfect as she remembered. All this came and went in 2-1/2 months. But understanding this now doesn't make the pain any less.
I'm happy I heard this today
Thanks AGW! Everything you spoke of was a Red Flag! I mean everything and it speaks volumes! Thanks Brother! Appreciate it ementsly .
My pleasure!
I knew my evil boyfriend and I knew it wasn't going to last but I didn't listen to God I hate him so much 😭
Forgive yourself and then forgive him.
dats me but now i moved on u will too
You shouldn't hate anyone. Forgive him.
Forgiven him but remember that forgive doesn't mean that you need to bring an evil person for your life
I would really, really appreciate you doing a video on unequally yoked relationship. I've been dating someone whom I love for 6 months now but he recently said he doesn't want to read the Bible/get into a religion. I know I need to explain that knowing Jesus is more than a religion, but he shocked me in the moment. Anyway, please pray for me. I don't know what to do.
Same happened with me. We broke up and I know that he's not the one now.
You already know the answer sis. He doesn't sound like he's saved.
That should've been the first criteria you should have had before dating him. I hope you make the right decision.
End this now. It will only lead to a future of misery.
I am sorry to hear this
However you cannot be unequally yoked
Even will add this
Being told they go to church regularly when in the end, they barely went a half dozen times a year is not honest or sincere
Also be mindufl brothers and sisters, i have been in encouragement dates where i see that some sisters use it as an excuse to be take out to town but never truly commit , its ok to say no !
This was a great video. It helped me put my original thoughts and feelings about relationship red flags into words. I kinda already knew this I just hadn't taken the time to organize these thoughts. Dating isn't something I concern myself with much.
You’re on point 🤞🏽💙🙏🏾
I appreciate this video sooo much also off topic but drop the skin care routine dangg your skin is flawless I need to know your secret !!
Haha 😂
Nice Video. Though I am single but still helpfull 😇
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Dang God just told me hes not the one!!!!!
It's getting close to the end. Jesus God who i love 😍 the most my eyes 👀 are open seen the world for what it really is God i want to be in love with you only because it's getting close to the end
Great video. Wise feedback. Lol on the ex and pefection why are they the ex?
God Bless you.
😑the Bible is not using the word “Love” loosely. If it was written, it was exactly so. Lovely videos though😇
Tamar was his half sister; she was Abselom’s sister from same mom/dad. Her rape and the lack of accountability is what drove Abselom to rage against David and challenge his leadership. Needless to say, Amnon ruined everyone’s life, esp Tamar who lived in self imposed singlehood for the rest of her life. That bit of David’s life is devestating...
There is a guy at church who is interested in me. I thought I should give him a chance as far as going out to dinner with him. We had good conversation but he was very quick to tell me that he knew I was the one God had for him. I don't think he has any bad intentions. I really do think he believes that. The problem is that it turned me away very quickly. I am a single mom and my last relationship was not good at all and I don't ever want to go through that pain again and let alone drag my child into something like that again. So, I just stop all contact with him and I can tell that he is very hurt. My question is, should I talk to him about it or should I just keep running for the hills?
Abbie Chuela I think you should ask God what you should do. Pray about it and ask him to show you if you should be with him or not. :)
I would say that you explain how you feel and how it changed how you see him, and try to give him closure and transparency so he can learn from the experience as well. I’d say that offering that shows taking responsibility for how your actions may affect him, and would make him feel respected by you. I find a lot of times men value honesty about actions more than actions themselves. It helps bring closure when you feel the person was honest with you and respects you enough to tell you the truth, even if it isn’t convienant. If his behavior after that seems to go towards the unhealthy side, I would say keep running for the hills. But I do believe an explanation for everything would go a long way, and help him grow more as well, and hopefully it gives him a greater sense of discernment of what things are appropriate at what times to share with what people. That is just my take on it, obviously pray on it, and seek counsel. Have a wonderful day!
I'm going through the same. I've actually met a guy I could be equally yoked with. Every part of me wants to run for the hills. I've been ignoring him. But, I should talk to him. I should.
Right on point! 👌
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Amen, God said in his word that you have to be from the same yoke. Cause if your not and its doesn't work you started wrong and let them go. God also let the holy spirit to guide us through in our walk in christ and not lead to our own understanding. A relationship would last as long as you want it to last. If both are looking to grow old together and believe in yourselfers as you put your look on to God. If it his will. You see people forget you both have to put your parts and God has to put his. In order for God to help you build a strong foundation in your marriage. When people get married they're marriage is a ministry that declare what marriage in Gods word.God bless you📙
Really helpful video !
Glad to hear it waheed Ashraf! God bless :)
Love your teachings Mark, God bless! 😊
So glad AGW has been helpful to you, God bless!
Hi can you do a video about the difference between dating and being married in regards to expectations? For instance, in marriage of course the husband should call back or text back to stay in communication with his wife and vise versa. Or in marriage there should deep conversations about feelings etc. Are these also things that should be expected in dating? My boyfriend doesn’t respond to my texts and he doesn’t reach out to me when he’s having car issues for instance. I sometimes feel like he’s not involving me in his life. But I also feel I may be asking for too much. Help. :)
Basically I like to think of it like this. The Bible doesn't talk about dating but it talks about marriage. So essentially if you aren't married to someone, you two are still separate and that person is not yours, but if your boyfriend isn't putting any effort in, then big red flag. You want to be treated like a sister in Christ and you should feel loved and cared for. If you aren't feeling appreciated, loved, or cared for then that calls for worry and you should probably most definitely end things. But it's good to communicate with your partner to understand both sides. Idk if that helped but that's what i have
Great video!!!💯💯💯💖❤💜🧡💛💚💙
my brother is an gnostic married to a Baptist. I have a feeling though they are equally yoked because she is not really into her faith
Do you mean a gnostic or an agnostic?Because these are very different things.
Thank you Mark!
My pleasure!
All of these except for theological differences applied to my relationship . . . i certainly do not plan on ending it but are there ways i can reverse the effects of what has happened. Starting over essentially?
Very helpful thank you! God Bless keep doing what your doing!!!
Thank you so much for this insightful video. Some of these points explain my most recent break-up. God bless.
I'm so glad this video was helpful to you :)
@@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger the question is, now that I know what mistakes I have made (i.e. rushing things), is it worth me contacting him again and give us another chance?
Great video.
I feel like a tier 2 disagreement should be as bad as a tier 1. My training behind this is, if the woman and man are going to 2 different denominations and churches, how can the man spiritually lead his wife? Isn't that what men are supposed to do? Men over women over children.
You can appear to be non committal when feeling like you're being forced to do something(people not taking no or not now for an answer), being there is no longer effective or feel like you are no longer needed besides entered into doing something you hadn't prayed about. Sometimes it's OK to walk away from things or people who you feel you are not being respected by, you feel less than yourself or have to compromise any good thing about yourself. So I guess non committal to one person is another one's freedom.
What you describe sounds like not committing for a good reason. I would describe "non committal" as not committing when there is not a good reason and the person just wants to play games. So I agree w what you are saying.
ApplyGodsWord.com/Mark Ballenger oh ok