How Long Should You Date Before Getting Married/Engaged? (Christian Dating Tips)

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  • Опубліковано 31 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 314

  • @Grace-e2z6j
    @Grace-e2z6j 6 років тому +333

    "Your intimacy should be equal to your commitment level" 👍👍

    • @ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger
      @ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger  6 років тому +15

      Amen!

    • @stephaniep1761
      @stephaniep1761 4 роки тому +16

      Commitment is not only about length of time, but quality of time.

    • @jonathanpalmer228
      @jonathanpalmer228 3 роки тому

      @@stephaniep1761 amen!

    • @okEorB
      @okEorB 3 роки тому

      Is there commitment in dating, prior to engagement? What does that look like, since you have not committed yourself to this person yet before God. Is there growing commitment between you even before engagement?

    • @jonathanpalmer228
      @jonathanpalmer228 3 роки тому

      @@okEorB I think that comes down to each case! Like when you know God wants you in this relationship and your partner is ready for marriage spiritually.

  • @livingunashamed4869
    @livingunashamed4869 6 років тому +116

    Yeah it varies, the big thing is you don't want to waste time. Be intentional and direct. The role thing was "huge" so important.

  • @justtrythatagain4423
    @justtrythatagain4423 5 років тому +41

    You are literally so sensitive and kind about the way you express your opinions!! It’s so impressive
    I find a lot of religious youtubers don’t speak so thoughtfully... yikes

  • @caceres246
    @caceres246 6 років тому +121

    This is one of the best channels on UA-cam. You are helping a lot of people. Blessings!!!

  • @adamtracey1426
    @adamtracey1426 4 роки тому +168

    6 month to 2 yrs. I completely agree. Beyond that when you date for 5+yrs what is really going on there?

    • @jessicaborgogni9595
      @jessicaborgogni9595 4 роки тому +16

      Adam Tracey that’s even backed up by secular science. It’s been found that the best was 2 years (I think including engagement), and that couples outside that time frame had a higher statistical chance of divorce

    • @stephaniep1761
      @stephaniep1761 4 роки тому +20

      6 months is not enough time to get to know someone!

    • @adamtracey1426
      @adamtracey1426 4 роки тому +30

      @@stephaniep1761 How long does it take? Every marriage is a leap of faith to some degree. You can never know all aspects of an individuals tendencies. 2 years would give you, I think plenty of a baseline to project from. Also having a strong faith in common or similar goals. He talks alot about being equally yoked. Someone not to far above or below you in beauty, mental acumen, strength because it matters in the long run. God bless and best of luck to you Stephanie!

    • @howardbaxter2514
      @howardbaxter2514 4 роки тому +28

      Sometimes it is because neither one is financially stable at the moment to get married (e.g. could have been dating in high school and college).

    • @stephaniep1761
      @stephaniep1761 4 роки тому +9

      @@howardbaxter2514 God never made that a requirement. Why should we?

  • @mosesr4278
    @mosesr4278 5 років тому +135

    I think that people in the Bible got married as soon they saw each other, They knew that God was first in there life and everything else will fall into place.

    • @PumpkinCherub
      @PumpkinCherub 3 роки тому +2

      🙌🏽🙌🏽 Love it. Yes, when it feels right, you know God is with you and everything will fall into place.

    • @pandalady5964
      @pandalady5964 3 роки тому +6

      Also betrothal lasted 1-2 years minimum. The time to produce the wedding things took that long at least.

    • @hughjanus2781
      @hughjanus2781 2 роки тому +3

      How did that work out for Samson

    • @lizettenovelo1
      @lizettenovelo1 2 роки тому +6

      @@hughjanus2781 he wasn't putting God first, so Satan came to destroy him.

    • @slick_Ric
      @slick_Ric Рік тому

      ​@@PumpkinCherub nope. you won't find that in the Bible

  • @halliebateman4797
    @halliebateman4797 6 років тому +132

    Better to get married too soon then fall into temptation.. yeah good word.

    • @yuri797
      @yuri797 4 роки тому +14

      But what if there is a problem and both of you suddenly can't live together? Divorce is just as bad. And if there are children involved, things would get sour very quickly

    • @stephaniep1761
      @stephaniep1761 4 роки тому +5

      This is what makes life so challenging. Our sexual instincts are so intense, but our fallen spiritual qualities can ultimately make marriage a prison sentence!

    • @lanaguzman4560
      @lanaguzman4560 4 роки тому +26

      “ it’s Better to wait long, than marry wrong”

    • @stephaniep1761
      @stephaniep1761 4 роки тому

      @@lanaguzman4560 thank you...

    • @JesusSaves42
      @JesusSaves42 2 роки тому +6

      “It is better to marry than to burn with passion.” 1 Corinthians 7

  • @sheenasong
    @sheenasong 5 років тому +34

    I have never been to a relationship and I’m still waiting for God to that someone He plan for me. I thanked God for all of your teachings Pastor Mark, it helped me for this waiting process. Thank You, Lord!

  • @storfrassin
    @storfrassin 6 років тому +46

    I would say at least 6 months

    • @ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger
      @ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger  6 років тому +21

      I think that is a good number in general too

    • @hughjanus2781
      @hughjanus2781 2 роки тому

      That’s not nearly long enough to get to know someone. Especially depending on if you are a very busy person and don’t have a ton of time to date. That’s not enough time

    • @TheBlaxkWolf
      @TheBlaxkWolf Рік тому

      @@hughjanus2781if you don’t have time to date, then why are you trying to get married… you wouldn’t have time for your marriage or you would have to get rid of some of your responsibilities in order to prioritize your marriage, which is first before anything.

    • @YourBiggestFansOK
      @YourBiggestFansOK 4 місяці тому

      ​@hughjanus2781 if you're that busy, then you shouldn't be permanently dragging someone else into your life, where you'll mostly be absent. It's not fair. Stay single until you can devote an adequate amount of time to starting a life and family with someone else.

  • @migdaliamojica7123
    @migdaliamojica7123 6 років тому +61

    Now working matter. God doesn't speak about weddings, and jobs and if your more spiritual then another. These are things come from people. They start to wonder about things too much. People back then got marry with less then now. And they got married and stay married. Image us now that we have God in our life. As you guys get marrie. God be opening doors and pouring blessings and providing your needs according to his plans. So trust God know each other and let things fall in to place.📙

    • @greyhah
      @greyhah 5 років тому +7

      In biblical times people did not 'fall in love' but married with a commitment that they would not dream of breaking so the marriage lasted a lifetime. Nowadays they go too much by feelings and it breaks up marriages.

    • @jacquelinedavis4955
      @jacquelinedavis4955 4 роки тому +3

      @@greyhah If we let God choose our spouse instead of looking and searching high and low for that person He will give you a compatible partner if that be his will for your life I am not sure though I havent dated anyone since I became a Christian Old and not interested in all that When I dated I did it all wrong and yeilded the fruit of it I just think if God has someone for you he will put that person in your life and give you understanding No need to go looking Time was invented for us God is eternal and in every moment Two days two weeks two years God has perfect timing The important thing is to have a good relationship with Christ and pray Sometimes no answer is a no or a wait Tune your ears to the spirit Jesus is truth and has all the answers you seek

    • @hughjanus2781
      @hughjanus2781 2 роки тому

      @@jacquelinedavis4955 So god let innocent children starve to death but he out here playing match maker? God also allows men to have sex slaves and concubines. I wonder if you will let your husband have a concubine for side sex? Nope but you will pick and choose which parts of the Bible you want him to follow this is called cherry picking.

  • @kar3n35
    @kar3n35 4 роки тому +24

    To me 6 month of dating is enough for engagement. In my country thatd plenty of time. And maybe 6months of engage to get married. In total a year is more than enough.

    • @hughjanus2781
      @hughjanus2781 2 роки тому

      No it’s not a person can keep up a lie for that long.

  • @Brenoskywalker77
    @Brenoskywalker77 6 років тому +29

    Mark, should I have a strong financial stability before marriage?? How important is this for getting married?? I ask this because what I read in Proverbs 24:27 - "Put your outdoor work in order and get your fields ready;after that, build your house."Anyway, awesome video, God Bless you!!!

    • @ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger
      @ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger  6 років тому +49

      I believe you should have the ability to support a family. This doesn't mean you have to be able to buy a house and have everything. It just means that if your wife got pregnant you could make ends meet. If you can do that, you are able to get married when it comes to finances.

    • @Brenoskywalker77
      @Brenoskywalker77 6 років тому +8

      Understood, thanks so much!!

    • @martinathom5167
      @martinathom5167 6 років тому +5

      I agree completely !

    • @rncondie
      @rncondie 3 роки тому +13

      If you wait to marry when you are “set” you will never get married.
      We were both in college poor and had to live in grandmas basement.
      Dining table was a card table.
      Sacrifice made our marriage stronger.

    • @babyc.3015
      @babyc.3015 3 роки тому

      Of course lmao how else would you feed your wife and provide kids' needs?

  • @pinkfuschia8140
    @pinkfuschia8140 6 років тому +30

    You're very humble at putting this across. I think the human heart is so treacherous. Paul did say it is better to marry than burn with passion and I remember feeling that towards my fiancé which is natural. We weren't dating at all when we got engaged. Before getting engaged there was so much I deeply admired about his passion for helping good causes and we had a lot in common and he was very handsome. We kissed the first time the day we got engaged and from then I don't think we could've slowed anything down and keep rational. However, there were things that I ignored before the wedding about him and things that he thought he could change in my thinking too. We got engaged after being friends for 1 year and married within a year. The discussion on roles expected never happened until after the wedding and this was serious. You are so right. The difference in religious denominations was major. There was a lot of frustration and tension as I wouldn't submit to his religion or to his idea of 'headship'. We couldn't pray together when we needed it desperately. That is why you marry only in the Lord. I think the time taken to get married from dating depends a lot on how long you have known each other before dating. If you feel afraid to disagree and iron out differences then it's not time yet. I put off going to uni as the pressure was that he couldn't wait for me to graduate first and wouldn't want me in uni while he went to work as husband and wife. People got married very quickly in the Old Testament, just picking up a wife from the right tribe and setting off and it may have worked, but divorce was so easy too. Under Jesus it is adultery to just divorce and remarry, yet people do so so quickly today. If it's about love and also love for Christ, I would ask "How long have I been married to Christ?" And "How long have they been married to Christ?" Am I or they rushing in out of passion, insecurity, because we're getting too old for kids soon. Also no one ever mentions this, but what is their view on having the in laws giving an input in your marriage. Mother in law jokes didn't come about out of thin air after all. In laws in some cultures come as part of the package and they can make or break your marriage.

    • @ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger
      @ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger  6 років тому +1

      This may answer your questions about parents and such: ua-cam.com/video/90OUtnTAEMo/v-deo.html

    • @beeaboutabbabusiness8738
      @beeaboutabbabusiness8738 6 років тому +5

      Hi I had a situation where God led me to my God ordained. Spouse marriage I hadn't dated for years prior to this. I had fasted and prayed since 2016 regarding marriage and relationship.I met my hubby to be in 2017 and I knew within one year I could marry him,he was God choice he is far from perfect. God has given me the grace to endure because irs Yahweh choice. My hubby to be has helped me to put the biblical teaching forgiveness and longsuffering endurance in to practice.In my opinion if there is no fruit of the spirit in a believers life than the christain is too imature to stay through a course of marriage.I don t live in same country as hubby to be, so abstaince is easier yet patience, endurance longsuffering is vital to any relationship marriage that has a future.scripture says love endures all things.
      What most christains fail to understand is that a marriage wov is first a promise to God not the spouse.The bible clearly state s that the wife is to submit to the husband in EVERYTHING unless it causes the wife to sin against God.Marriage is for selfless people with a heart and devotion to serve their spouse. The reason there is so much divorce within the church is that christains have no idea what marriage is according to God standards.

    • @beeaboutabbabusiness8738
      @beeaboutabbabusiness8738 6 років тому +2

      We have also discussed issues surrounding work roles babies before we say i do communication is everything.im even thinking of doing a pre wedding contract what we both expect from the marriage then both sign it im extra but the bible is a contract of what is expected of us as believers so why not do the same for a serious life changing matter like marriage.Marriage should never been gone in to lightly or as a way to relieve sexual tention

    • @pinkfuschia8140
      @pinkfuschia8140 6 років тому +1

      It's so good you have met the right person and I pray for you both. It is good to discuss all your goals and ideals before marriage. Sometimes things don't always go to plan as you both want and it's so important to know how you each deal with stress too.
      I remember my husband losing his job when I was just weaning our baby and although we both agreed I would stay home with the children, the plan had to change temporarily as I got offered a very well paid short term contract which would buy time for him to find work. This caused stress for me as I was still breastfeeding at night and was very maternal, never having left the baby even for a few hours, and for the baby and him as our son cried for me to feed him. Sometimes with all the planning in the world, bad things happen and we have to be adaptable to change. We both were really stressed. He had lost his temper at work when someone was racist to another man and got in a fight and that is how he lost his job. When I got home from work all I wanted was to feed and bath the baby and got cross that all the household chores were left to me while he was sitting watching a film with the baby that he knew offended me before we were married and we had an argument which ended up with me and the baby going to a refuge and me also losing my job. I think it's good to see how each other copes with change and stress, also jealousy when things go wrong. He decided that I should leave our baby in childcare and work full time while he could go abroad and build the house he'd dreamed of, and escape from it all, while I'd thought he was of the old fashioned view of mothers staying with the children as much as possible. I don't know if a pre wedding contract would be binding biblically on these things at all.

  • @lynnmwanza3578
    @lynnmwanza3578 6 років тому +31

    You are a wise man Mark. Enlightened 😊 God bless you

  • @maycoma
    @maycoma 5 років тому +56

    Dating is not a union, it’s an exploration and if the results are unfavorable (red flags) then move forward to another exploration. The end of the dating process is not a breakup because you were never joined together with the other party. If the results of the exploration is favorable (biblically), then you move to courtship and marriage

    • @jessicaborgogni9595
      @jessicaborgogni9595 4 роки тому +9

      Coleen Wright i feel this is so important in modern times! People date, form a bond and then get married because of that bond, not because of the values in each other. I fell into this trap myself. Nothing wrong with “growing together”, but a lot of confusion and fuzzy areas and ambiguity where satan can reach you happen when we get too casual about dating

    • @haleyv6487
      @haleyv6487 4 роки тому +3

      Such a great way to put it!

  • @migdaliamojica7123
    @migdaliamojica7123 6 років тому +22

    Worried about having things for wedding it not going to be enough time. You know what you pray and due your wedding according to what you can afford and you'll be surprised how God supply the your need and have a wedding you thought you were not going to have. And spiritual there is always one more spiritual then the other. we have to remember we can't be the same cause then you pump heads.

  • @martinathom5167
    @martinathom5167 6 років тому +21

    I don't think there is a one size fit all for the answer. people are different. My siblings waited 7- 9 years before marrying mainly because they were in school, and didn't have a job 0or apartment to start a family. They all waited after college, had a job to support themselves and a decent home or apartment before tying knot.. too me that makes logical sense.

    • @k.5425
      @k.5425 4 роки тому

      Yh he said so in the video. There's no concrete answer

    • @KatieAJ
      @KatieAJ 3 роки тому +6

      Well, we're talking about Christians though. 7-9 yrs is too long if you're Christian dating and not having sex at all. it doesn't take all that. 2 yrs max. flee sexual sin. don't live together. if you're ready to live together then just marry. This can jeopardize your relationship with God.

    • @hughjanus2781
      @hughjanus2781 2 роки тому

      @@KatieAJ Then god has a bad set up that rushes people to get married so they can have sex.

    • @hughjanus2781
      @hughjanus2781 2 роки тому

      @A P Ridiculous is following a book that endorses slavery and child rape and killing off innocent children.

    • @hughjanus2781
      @hughjanus2781 2 роки тому

      @@KatieAJ Also no one has a relationship with god because god doesn’t exist. Religion was created by man to control the masses. Think if you wanted to create a system to control people the last things you want them to do is ask for evidence so make it faith based. You want to control their sex lives you need them working not always trying to get laid. Christianity is made to control people and keep them submissive and in fear of punishment for stepping out of line.

  • @YoursInYeshua
    @YoursInYeshua 3 роки тому +27

    At least a year of dating, no matter how long you were friends before. Emotions and relationships change, when romance is evolved. 1 year, to go through all seasons of life, holidays, birthdays, stress, joy, drama, peace... 3 years seems long. So, around 1.5yrs is perfect, married after 2yrs. This also gives you time to get to know their family and friends and them yours. You can see if they have issues and aren't faking things too, which happens. God bless!

    • @g.williams2047
      @g.williams2047 2 роки тому

      I know many people, dated junior year of college, got engaged December of senior year, and married that July. From personal viewing, this has worked out well for those college sweethearts I know!

  • @mrs.incredible8111
    @mrs.incredible8111 5 років тому +34

    Ummm... I think there can be temptation from the beginning... not just when dating for 2yrs, 1yr or 6 months... Boundaries and accountability!!!!!

    • @hrfanator9876
      @hrfanator9876 4 роки тому +1

      Yeah, what's the point? Dating seems more harmful than helpful. God has to have a better way than the way we are doing things. I wish God was more clear in His word.

    • @babyc.3015
      @babyc.3015 3 роки тому +2

      Yeah. Because humans are biological and we have hormones. Touching is tempting for sure and that will lead to deeper things. It's why he said to get married sooner rather than waste your time.

  • @MrMopeake
    @MrMopeake 6 років тому +36

    Mark I agree you your time frame. I think that when you are older and maybe have adult kids the decision should be able to come a little sooner than later.

  • @MLGMaster5
    @MLGMaster5 4 роки тому +9

    This is the best advice I’ve heard so far

  • @JRich165
    @JRich165 5 років тому +18

    This video highlighted all errors from my last relationship. I’m now 2/half years in a clear and I can honestly say a clean conscience is priceless.
    Bless you AGW

  • @archangel0137
    @archangel0137 6 років тому +21

    Great video, Mark very useful for us single folk! But could you do a video on what to do if you've met the right person but you're not ready for marriage yet (eg still studying)??🤔🤔🤔

  • @pizzaplz5081
    @pizzaplz5081 5 років тому +33

    You say that everyone don’t believe that if they are a Christian they should only
    marry a Christian. Who in their right mind would marry an un believer if they believe.
    I met someone that I thought about dating until he said “ I can’t stand people who tries to push God down my throat” I knew that I would not even consider him as dating material for me. First I don’t want to push him down your throat I want him to already be down your throat, before I date you,
    I don’t want him to be in your heart as much as I want him to have complete control of your heart.I want you in bible study and church with me not home watching the football as I attend alone. I don’t want our children to say why can’t I stay home from church Dad never go. You’re asking for trouble down the road to be unequally yoked.

    • @GheeMann
      @GheeMann 4 роки тому +4

      Exactly why i had to break up w an unbeliever, there was really no other explanation but that. It was hard at first however i know the lord has someone else in mind and i'm glad i listened when i needed to

    • @Beaut1fulC
      @Beaut1fulC 3 роки тому

      #TRUTH!

    • @hughjanus2781
      @hughjanus2781 2 роки тому

      Good for him no reason to talk to someone that follows a book that endorses slavery and child rape. From an evil god who believes drowning an entire world full of children is a good thing to do.

    • @hughjanus2781
      @hughjanus2781 2 роки тому

      @@GheeMann Would you let your husband have a concubine? Of course not because you Christians only cherry pick the Bible.

  • @stephenrennie9675
    @stephenrennie9675 5 років тому +12

    Oh bless you brother Mark. This was an answer to prayer. 😊

  • @jazzy9282
    @jazzy9282 4 роки тому +53

    Some people get married within 3 months of knowing each other.

    • @occhiatariservata2320
      @occhiatariservata2320 4 роки тому +17

      😏Well i merried one the first day I saw her..
      (still love her🔥)

    • @harleighstringer
      @harleighstringer 4 роки тому +24

      my friend's parents got married after dating for a week and they're still together 30 years later lol

    • @pandalady5964
      @pandalady5964 3 роки тому +5

      Marry in haste, repent at leisure.

    • @hughjanus2781
      @hughjanus2781 2 роки тому

      @@harleighstringer People just want to be married

    • @hughjanus2781
      @hughjanus2781 2 роки тому

      @@harleighstringer This is exactly why Christians have the highest divorce rates out of all religions.

  • @maimuramoto4463
    @maimuramoto4463 6 років тому +20

    I highly respect that you emphasise what is your opinion in comparison to scripture based advice.

  • @babyc.3015
    @babyc.3015 3 роки тому +1

    It is easier if both people know what they want and the future they want to build and are serious about this. Some people get married for varied reasons

  • @duct_tapeheart6484
    @duct_tapeheart6484 6 років тому +6

    Hey! I'm so excited about your IG! I was recently looking for it, so this is great news! Thanks

  • @matthewwakeling4978
    @matthewwakeling4978 6 місяців тому

    Those might be the biblical questions you should aim to answer before getting married, but I think there are some other more earthly questions that need answering as well. For instance, you should date long enough to be sure that the person is going to treat you well, is committed to continuously working towards making the relationship better, isn't on their best behaviour for a short time before becoming abusive, and doesn't have underlying significant issues that might be a deal-breaker a few years down the line. You could say those are covered by your questions, but I still think it is worth separating them out so they get individual attention. The divorce rate is so atrociously high, even among Christians, and that's despite the fact that no person enters into a marriage thinking that they would like to get divorced later. Also, I'd highly recommend going through a Christian pre-marriage course, which lots of churches run, and attending couples counselling every now and again while things are still good between you, to catch problems early and hopefully sort them out.

  • @mikeemswiler4541
    @mikeemswiler4541 5 років тому +2

    Thank you so much. I am greatful that there are leaders like you out there

  • @LOVEundLEADERSHIP
    @LOVEundLEADERSHIP 3 роки тому +4

    Thank you, Mark, for always so wise God guided words, I learn so much from you! 💒🙏🏻

  • @godswordsaves7673
    @godswordsaves7673 6 років тому +24

    always on time 😁

  • @Kalebtheslayer
    @Kalebtheslayer 4 роки тому +8

    I have fallen into the temptation of premarital intercourse. But I feel like my girlfriend is the love of my life. I’m going to propose on Christmas Day (we would be dating for 1 year and 4 months) and then I will marry her on our 2 year anniversary

    • @MomInChrist
      @MomInChrist 2 роки тому

      Did you propose?

    • @Kalebtheslayer
      @Kalebtheslayer 2 роки тому +2

      @@MomInChrist I did

    • @MomInChrist
      @MomInChrist 2 роки тому +1

      @@Kalebtheslayer congratulations, my partner and I have decided to further our commitment and move forward with engagement and God willing marriage. May the Peace , Joy, and love of God be on your life and marriage and May your marriage carry out a great purpose for his glory.

    • @hughjanus2781
      @hughjanus2781 2 роки тому +1

      Sex is natural it’s not a sin if apes do it and neither is it for us

    • @justified328
      @justified328 2 роки тому

      @@hughjanus2781 We're not apes

  • @nathanw4748
    @nathanw4748 3 роки тому +2

    Really great information. Thank you so much...super helpful

  • @yuri797
    @yuri797 4 роки тому +8

    I must say i can't completely agree with this, especially getting married after 6 months? Thats too fast because you dont know the person well enough. What if down the track after you marry this person, eg 5 years later, you feel that you've made the wrong decision? You'll end up getting a divorce right? And divorce is always tough especially when there are kids involved.
    Nevertheless, if you choose not to date for x amount of time just to prevent these temptations, you wont be able to really see this person's true nature too.
    So this area is so grey to the point where it becomes super confusing. I have faith in the Lord and I don't wanna fall into the temptation of premarital sex. But MOST guys just can't control their sexual passion! Some couldn't even control it for a month! Let alone 6mo-2years or more! Yet I do prefer to date for at least 4 years before I marry someone because I wanted to be sure that I am marrying the right person

    • @joerivera8720
      @joerivera8720 4 роки тому +4

      I mean if a person is weak In the Lord maybe or young and if they had past that cause hurt to them. However if a person 5 years down line claims that they may a mistake that's something that went wrong during the marriage. We have to realize that theirs going to be things that will only come out by marrying someone, other then that dating someone 4 years and finding out 5 years down the line that you might had mistakes. Time is a important asset and 6-7 1/2 years sounds a lot better than 8-9 1/2 however we should never look for divorce but to look to our father and help from other to grow pass those problems. Hope this gives you insight.

    • @KatieAJ
      @KatieAJ 3 роки тому +3

      ask God to reveal things to you and once you got the answers you need, take action. dont waste time.

  • @betty5449
    @betty5449 5 років тому +2

    Awesome video...God bless you...I love that time frame 😀

  • @oliviaemmert3775
    @oliviaemmert3775 4 роки тому +7

    You said dating for 1 or 2 years, but what if we have been friends for longer before we started dating?

    • @k.5425
      @k.5425 4 роки тому +3

      It's up to your discretion. As he said the time frame he gave is not law. For Mark he and his wife were friends for a year, dated for about a year and got engaged and married in 8 months. He has videos with his wife Bethany.

    • @ciannacoleman5125
      @ciannacoleman5125 4 роки тому +1

      I have been dating my boyfriend for 4mo but have been good friends with him for 7yrs, personally we have agreed that he isn’t allowed to propose until we have been dating a year or longer

    • @jacquelinedavis4955
      @jacquelinedavis4955 4 роки тому

      @@k.5425 aww glad he found someone Wasnt sure if he was married or not

    • @jacquelinedavis4955
      @jacquelinedavis4955 4 роки тому

      @@ciannacoleman5125 if you've known each other that long surely you know his character Isnt that enough? Waiting for what?

    • @KatieAJ
      @KatieAJ 3 роки тому +1

      @@ciannacoleman5125 you've already known each other 4 7 years...what r u guys waiting for?

  • @PumpkinCherub
    @PumpkinCherub 3 роки тому +1

    When you know, you know...

  • @FortWorthFabian
    @FortWorthFabian 5 років тому +8

    Mark you should make a video or touch on what qualifies as an official marriage in Christ.. does going to a courthouse and getting paperwork to be married suffice for two faithful Christians? Or does an ordained minister have to be apart of the process?

    • @katrinacrawford9150
      @katrinacrawford9150 4 роки тому

      I know the answer

    • @k.5425
      @k.5425 4 роки тому

      @@katrinacrawford9150what's it?

    • @k.5425
      @k.5425 4 роки тому +1

      Hmm... I've wondered about this a few times.

    • @KatieAJ
      @KatieAJ 3 роки тому +1

      We have to obey the law of the land. Make it official in the eyes of man AND God. marriage is a declaration. i think as long as it's real. then yes it counts.

  • @digittydog
    @digittydog Рік тому +1

    I still don't see anywhere in scripture where God promises to choose your spouse for you, or wants you to marry a particular person. I don't believe in "the person God has for you". Not believing this actually increases the seriousness of my decision/ choice. It keeps my expectations realistic. It also increases my faith and personal responsibility in the marriage as I do my best for Him as a husband.

    • @JackPickford-sv4hz
      @JackPickford-sv4hz Рік тому

      Isaac and Rebekah

    • @joshuacorbin221
      @joshuacorbin221 21 день тому

      I married her as soon as I was _certain_ she was a sister in Christ

    • @digittydog
      @digittydog 21 день тому

      @@JackPickford-sv4hza story happening is an example that God can do anything. It isn’t always prescriptive , or a divine promise it will be that way for all. We won’t all talk to donkeys, be swallowed by fish, prophesy, or call fire down from heaven either.

  • @latreases.jonesjr.459
    @latreases.jonesjr.459 6 років тому +10

    Thank you so much for this video Mark. I have been wondering how long I should date my boyfriend before we decide to get married.

  • @MadebySOMI
    @MadebySOMI 2 роки тому

    This brings up something that I am currently experiencing. This question is for you but I am open to any reader that has any insights on this. So the person I am seeing says that a “relationship” in his eyes is when two people know for sure that they went to be marry and start the process of courting. so basically, even though we relate with each other in a romantic relationship kind of way, we aren’t actually in a relationship and that bothers me.. especially considering how close we are spiritually and emotionally. He is such a great leader and a great man in his community and also even in my life but there’s this one little thing that’s always in the back of my mind that this man has told me that we aren’t in a relationship but are trending in the right direction. I genuinely believe that we are trending in the right direction but does this mean we are just dating? Dating doesn’t mean you are in an exclusive, committed relationship does it? It’s been about 6.5 months since we met so I’m giving it much needed time but considering our dynamic, it makes me feel uncomfortable that the only way we’d get in a relationship is if we both decide that we want to get married to each other. What do you all think?

  • @Thisismyusername7
    @Thisismyusername7 3 роки тому +1

    I have an online friend who I think is a Christian, she never talks about religion in her TikTok videos but I think she’s a Christian judging by the pages she follows and the other videos she likes and comments on. She started dating her husband in high school, and got married 12 years and 4 months later, and now they have been married for 13.5 years and have 2 children together. I really don’t know how they dated for so long before getting married and I don’t even know if they were engaged before that. I don’t know if they remained celibate for over 12 years and I don’t know if that’s even possible, but they didn’t have children out of wedlock, her first baby was born more than a year after she got married so she couldn’t have been pregnant on the day of her wedding, plus I recently saw a photo of her oldest daughter’s first communion! Maybe they did remain celibate for 12 years, maybe they messed up at the beginning of their relationship then took a vow to stop and wait till marriage, only God knows.

    • @Ben-fq1lj
      @Ben-fq1lj Рік тому

      12 years?!? Yeah there's no way they stayed sexually pure. I would never date that long; that's just stupid. I guarantee they lived together before marriage and just because she follows Christian pages doesn't really mean much; anyone can call themself a Christian. James or Paul says even the demons believe in Jesus. That's why how we live our lives is so important; not because of works that no man should boast (ephesians), but because as Jesus said 'no one finds a light but then puts it under a basket.' You cannot say you are a believer yet RARELY live or serve Christ. We all fall short of the glory of God, but that is no excuse that we may go on sinning.

    • @Thisismyusername7
      @Thisismyusername7 Рік тому

      @@Ben-fq1lj I understand where you're coming from, but its better not to judge. Like I said, maybe they messed up and were not very religious when they were younger. They could have gotten more religioud with age.

    • @Ben-fq1lj
      @Ben-fq1lj Рік тому

      @@Thisismyusername7 lol oh im judging, respectfully. Its possible that they were immature in their faith, but either way in general its stupid to date that long. I hope either way they are at a better place in their relationship with Christ now.

    • @Thisismyusername7
      @Thisismyusername7 Рік тому

      @@Ben-fq1lj i hope so too. It might have also been a long distance relationship, or they might have dated on and off. You never know, and I never bothered asking them. I feel its too intrusive and disrespectful to ask them.

  • @justynak3867
    @justynak3867 4 роки тому +1

    What does it mean that two are one flesh? Are they one flesh if one of them passes away? (Jesus mentions not to remarry is best as the two are one flesh).

    • @KatieAJ
      @KatieAJ 3 роки тому +1

      google bible verses about marriage.

  • @christianpraiseworshipands849
    @christianpraiseworshipands849 3 роки тому +3

    Focus on friendship.

    • @joshuacorbin221
      @joshuacorbin221 21 день тому

      What if I was so unskilled at making friends to the extent that "focused on friendship" becomes an unreasonable expectation that I had to let go of, in order to be obedient to God and marry?

    • @christianpraiseworshipands849
      @christianpraiseworshipands849 9 днів тому +1

      @ the key word here my friend is “Skill” out of unskilled. A skill can be developed. You have to practice, read books, practice, pray, practice. I used to be really unskilled but years of studying and practicing and by the power of the Holy Spirit. Things have changed.
      Just practice. Say hi to the cashier, say hi to those you meet anywhere. Just start by saying hi. Then when that becomes easy, ask how they’re doing. Ask them about themselves and listen.
      The more they speak, and the more you listen, the more you learn. They give you cues for what to bring about next.
      Try it for a week and let me know how it goes.

  • @jamesroberts4232
    @jamesroberts4232 5 років тому +1

    Your videos are very enlightening.Kimberly & I have watched ones on your boaz,your ruth,& now this one.They all seem to describe exactly what's happening with us.Thank you & God Bless!!

  • @chithaibodiansom3039
    @chithaibodiansom3039 6 років тому +3

    I am new to your channel. I enjoyed watching your videos. Thank you and God bless you.

  • @tiangvincent2573
    @tiangvincent2573 6 років тому +4

    Great advice!👍

  • @victorinedempsey3969
    @victorinedempsey3969 2 роки тому +3

    Never put yourself at the risk of unnecessary temptation. Your image in Jesus Christ matters the most.

    • @hughjanus2781
      @hughjanus2781 2 роки тому

      Jesus Christ is a fictional character.

    • @victorinedempsey3969
      @victorinedempsey3969 2 роки тому +2

      @@hughjanus2781 The fool says there is no God. God bless.

  • @juancarlts3438
    @juancarlts3438 9 місяців тому

    Yooooo this man is wise bro

  • @rncondie
    @rncondie 8 місяців тому

    Engaged for 5 months and it was too long. If I was to do it over 2 month engagement.

  • @hannamakinen3940
    @hannamakinen3940 6 років тому +2

    How long did you and Bethany date before you got married?

    • @ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger
      @ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger  6 років тому +17

      We were friends for a year, dated for a year and 4 months, and were engaged for 4 months. Here's our dating story: ua-cam.com/video/rGq_7IfO42s/v-deo.html

  • @georgebacon3982
    @georgebacon3982 6 років тому

    Thanks Mate. Your videos are really helpful

  • @joannawofford
    @joannawofford 3 роки тому

    Thank you I appreciate your information and very good advice no

  • @iamauthentic1207
    @iamauthentic1207 5 років тому +2

    What about if we've been dating for 6 years? We started with ages 17 and 19. With a child.

    • @RapJR88
      @RapJR88 5 років тому +11

      If you both been dating for six years, it's time for the wedding. If he is still living at home and depending on the support of others, or living on your support, then he is not ready for marriage. At this point you both should be planning a wedding with a date to do so in the next six months. If he is getting husband benefits and not being a leader and responsible as a Christian leader, it's time to move on because you have been played.

    • @hughjanus2781
      @hughjanus2781 2 роки тому

      @@RapJR88 Cherry picking huh 🤔 never mind the Bible says that a man can have sex slaves and concubines.

  • @Vanessa-ev6qe
    @Vanessa-ev6qe 4 роки тому +4

    I'm not sure if I agree with "you'll have less problems if you get married a little too soon than if you wait too long"

  • @anthonylteer764
    @anthonylteer764 5 років тому +1

    I would rather date anyone who’s at the same age as me, for example a year younger than me and/or 2 years old then me it’s for my own safety

  • @nelefreese4488
    @nelefreese4488 4 роки тому +1

    But do you think age also plays a role. Cause some people have been in a relationship for 2 years and are only 18 years old.
    What age frame would you remmondend for dating and marrying?

    • @hughjanus2781
      @hughjanus2781 2 роки тому

      @A P it takes more than 6 months to get to know someone would you give your bank information to a friend that’s a guy you only met six months ago? Of course not. So why does that person being a woman change anything?

  • @valadina4477
    @valadina4477 4 роки тому +4

    But who is to say when ANYONE should get married Christian or not! Everyone moves at their own pace and besides marriage is not for everyone. I knw people who have taken their time to date, "did the right thing" and got married and still it didn't work. I know 2 couples that met in the "love at first sight" spectrum and celebrated 50yrs. Anniversary n 56yr. Anniversary last year. Who is to know whom is for whom. I know some couples who have different religions and have been married for over 20 yrs.In my opinion to each it's own and who is to judge. Him without sin throw the first ssf tone.

  • @pandalady5964
    @pandalady5964 3 роки тому

    What do you say to a "Christian Couple" who end up rushing into a marriage when one of them has been barely divorced less than 4 months and the other abandoned his family and they've been physically in the same state for only two weeks? Oh and one of them cheated on her ex-husband and has a baby on the way? I'd like everyone's thoughts on this matter.

    • @Insane_ForJesus
      @Insane_ForJesus 2 роки тому

      This marriage is unlawful in God eyes.

    • @joshuacorbin221
      @joshuacorbin221 21 день тому

      I would say there is a ton of adultery on everyone's part in that case

  • @meaganchui363
    @meaganchui363 3 роки тому +1

    I would say 2-3 yrs r better. Six months is too short

  • @occhiatariservata2320
    @occhiatariservata2320 4 роки тому

    Marriage is not a must..
    You are not born to have a family.. but to serve the Lord.. if a family comes it's about showing God face more.. giving him glory..and thanksgiving..
    that is becouse "marriage" it's not a place of fun.. but a battlefield.. if you are going to be married you should be ready for the war 🔥

    • @hughjanus2781
      @hughjanus2781 2 роки тому

      No one liked your comment because you sound crazy

    • @joshuacorbin221
      @joshuacorbin221 21 день тому

      It is however the norm, because it's God's design

  • @neemachomo9101
    @neemachomo9101 6 років тому +3

    God bless you servant

  • @claracampe5850
    @claracampe5850 5 років тому +1

    I like to date because is so much fun

  • @Bcpmarine
    @Bcpmarine 2 роки тому

    Sweet video

  • @hoiliswu6070
    @hoiliswu6070 5 років тому +3

    Amen thank you for sharing the message is clearly explain really encourage to know that in a Christian relashinship the most important rule work of God is full of this examples

  • @Bandzzz12
    @Bandzzz12 5 років тому

    MY MAN OF GOD SAID JESUS SAID IM FOR HIM BUT HR HASN'T ASKED ME OUT YET IT'S BEE 3 OR 4 MONTHS ALREADY

  • @irses457
    @irses457 3 роки тому

    Great video

  • @agamratan0428
    @agamratan0428 4 роки тому +2

    You look like Simon in AGT

  • @PumpkinCherub
    @PumpkinCherub 3 роки тому +3

    Can you tell him that? 😅 I can't get down on one knee and propose to him... Could you send him this information please Mark 😛

  • @KentPetersonmoney
    @KentPetersonmoney 2 роки тому

    I never even dated so I never even had a chance to get married. so if your thinking about sex alot and you still live with your parents, your saying you shouldn't date?

  • @renwickbaymon4769
    @renwickbaymon4769 6 років тому +4

    We have to be careful about saying we’re going to continue in sin. Some people use this as an excuse to deliberately sin. We are free from sin. Mercy wasn’t given to us to continue in it but to be free from it. I don’t wake up knowing I’m going to sin today. I wake up and put on the armor of God and IF I sin I fall to my knees and repent that is the victory we have in Christ Jesus. Let’s not have a losing mindset when we have already won. There is no sports team in the country that goes into every game saying they are going to lose no matter how sorry they are even the browns have confidence in winning. Let’s not brag about what have been freed from but let’s claim what has been purchased for us through the blood Christ which is righteousness and holiness.

  • @melissahollaway3381
    @melissahollaway3381 3 роки тому

    Amazing Ty so much

  • @victorinedempsey3969
    @victorinedempsey3969 2 роки тому

    Yeah, date as long as you need to date 📆

  • @antfactory1
    @antfactory1 6 років тому +2

    Hello Mark, can you do a video on fear? 🤔

  • @zoraidacastro5403
    @zoraidacastro5403 4 роки тому +2

    My parents were from a completely different generation. They dated for about ten years. Yes!!! Ten years. No nookie either. Realistically under two years.

  • @jeanchernandezrodriguez9890
    @jeanchernandezrodriguez9890 4 роки тому

    What if i havent checked all the boxes? What if im the one who is not yet christian? How can i become christian? Is it helpfull to go to church? Are evangelicals true christians?

    • @joshuacorbin221
      @joshuacorbin221 21 день тому

      Evangelical is mostly a meme/label and carries no weight in this context.
      The book "mere Christianity" will be a helpful resource for you

  • @954BRii
    @954BRii 4 роки тому +1

    Are you married?

  • @anirudh658
    @anirudh658 4 роки тому +1

    Sir ! do i have to receive holy spirit before i get married?

    • @ciannacoleman5125
      @ciannacoleman5125 4 роки тому +2

      If you are a Christian you have received the spirit. However if you feel like you are not filled with the spirit you likely have become carnal and need to repent to be filled again. It is a really interesting subject and I suggest studying it.

  • @sisterlogicpodcast
    @sisterlogicpodcast 3 роки тому

    Yes Love it!

  • @victorinedempsey3969
    @victorinedempsey3969 2 роки тому +2

    You should never date 📆 at all if you not ready for marriage 💏. No purpose.
    Colossians 3:17

    • @hughjanus2781
      @hughjanus2781 2 роки тому

      So just get married as soon as you meet her? You sound ridiculous right now

    • @victorinedempsey3969
      @victorinedempsey3969 2 роки тому

      @@hughjanus2781 Assumptions is the master of disaster. Maybe you should have asked before making your own conclusion. God bless.

  • @Simpledivaa
    @Simpledivaa 4 роки тому

    I have a doubt mark. I have a good friend in church and we are just friends. But even though i feel like a bond between us. Recently a few months back we stopped communicating too much like we uaed to be but, because of that i came to more closer to God. Should i stop talking with him. I m looking forward marraige not to just date. I hope you can give me a good advice

  • @anamihaelaflorescu9895
    @anamihaelaflorescu9895 3 роки тому

    And what to do when I made my decision but he still figuring out wether I’m the one or not. How much shall I wait for him to decide? We been dating for 8 months now.

    • @ovidiopopa1227
      @ovidiopopa1227 3 роки тому

      You have to ask God about..
      God bless you 🤗!

    • @KatieAJ
      @KatieAJ 3 роки тому +1

      im in the same boat. Just praying for more clarity.

    • @ovidiopopa1227
      @ovidiopopa1227 3 роки тому

      @@KatieAJ that's mean,he don't love you enough. (Maybe at all)

    • @Kaia-cz
      @Kaia-cz 3 роки тому

      Give him time

    • @hughjanus2781
      @hughjanus2781 2 роки тому +1

      @@ovidiopopa1227 That’s a stupid thing to say about people you don’t know.

  • @sigglass2183
    @sigglass2183 5 років тому

    Is the goal of dating is to get married and have kids eventually? Not just a companion?

    • @k.5425
      @k.5425 4 роки тому

      No. If you and your spouse agree not to have kids then don't and vice versa. Basically it's not compulsory, it depends on what you and your spouse decides. The goal of a Christian marriage is to grow in the Lord and offer each other companionship and love.

  • @elaineswanson8578
    @elaineswanson8578 6 років тому +1

    Is it wrong to pray to want to marry your bf of 2 yrs

  • @digittydog
    @digittydog Рік тому

    What about older singles? Same timeline?

    • @joshuacorbin221
      @joshuacorbin221 21 день тому

      It's not a timeline, it's a decision analysis process. A process that without earnest prayer discernment and wisdom from people in your local Church should not really be attempted.

  • @chequelobarrs2761
    @chequelobarrs2761 4 роки тому

    One year.

  • @austinwright6003
    @austinwright6003 3 роки тому

    Read the Rational Male by Rollo. It is great!

  • @PaulineFrance
    @PaulineFrance 4 роки тому

    I'm a Christian girl and I've met a Christian guy, but he's divorced and has a son. Is it a good idea to date him?

    • @ges3061
      @ges3061 4 роки тому

      If you have to ask that question.... you just answered your question hun.

    • @bblande
      @bblande 4 роки тому

      Was his divorce biblical? IE did his ex commit adultery and/or abandon him?

    • @PaulineFrance
      @PaulineFrance 4 роки тому

      @@bblande she abandoned him and moved out of the home after vandalizing it and was claiming he was not the father of her son. So he did a DNA test and it was proven that it was his son indeed. Going through all of that he still wanted to safe his marriage for his son sake, but she insisted on getting a divorce. And so they got divorced.

  • @ghostbombl8034
    @ghostbombl8034 4 роки тому +1

    I am never getting married these times and these days time.I feel like I am trap just on a first date lol.I would never give up my freedom to date lol.less drama.

  • @voiceofreason4u147
    @voiceofreason4u147 5 років тому +5

    7 YEARS....NEXT QUESTION

  • @pokemonashketchum4987
    @pokemonashketchum4987 5 місяців тому

    My opinion at least 2 years getting married 3 month after you started dating is horse crap

  • @Godisgood137
    @Godisgood137 4 роки тому

    What if we cannot get a house as soon and live together ?

    • @hughjanus2781
      @hughjanus2781 2 роки тому

      Then wait to get marr

    • @joshuacorbin221
      @joshuacorbin221 21 день тому

      I got a job an apartment and lived in hotels until the rental was move-in ready... on savings of $2,000, the real question is are you committed or not?!

  • @nissisikinam3649
    @nissisikinam3649 4 роки тому

    Do you have any videos on soul ties?

  • @TeacherP_
    @TeacherP_ 4 роки тому

    Hey! How can I contact you? I would like your advice on something.

  • @lamontedwards9293
    @lamontedwards9293 3 роки тому

    After a year is to long what else are you waiting for

    • @Kaia-cz
      @Kaia-cz 3 роки тому +1

      I've dated a guy for two years and we broke up because after those two years we realized that we have different perspectives on our future and we didn't get along after time. So one year is too short to know if you wanna stay with this person

    • @hughjanus2781
      @hughjanus2781 2 роки тому

      @@Kaia-cz exactly just because you have love for someone you want to sleep with does not mean you are compatible. Some people are friends some people are lovers some people confuse the two.

  • @anirudh658
    @anirudh658 4 роки тому

    My girlfriend was an atheist actress and started believing in JESUS now? So? is it god's will for me to be with her or leave her coz she is an actress?

  • @gwendolynparadise3174
    @gwendolynparadise3174 5 років тому +1

    Amen.

  • @monicamanivannan2534
    @monicamanivannan2534 6 років тому

    Pastor, will god give a man younger than a woman as a husband to her?

    • @francoisea.1713
      @francoisea.1713 6 років тому +4

      Yes can happen, my mothers husband is a lot younger and married over 20 years now. Both reborn christians and passion for the Lord.