For those of us who don’t have a lot of time :) 1) 1:13 negative generalizations about the opposite gender- saying degrading things about the opposite sex 2) 3:42 having a victim mentality- always thinking that you’re right and others are wrong 3) 7:35 A preachy personality- preaching about something that you don’t know about or sounding judgmental
@Tiger Lilly you just said the same thing I did in a different context tho? Please read my response in context with your original statement. Thanks in advance!
@Tiger Lilly ok that's cool but I don't even know you like that so it shouldn't be intense. I'm simply going off your statements made in this comment string.
Hey Pastor Mark! I know why I’m still single because God is giving me a spiritual makeover and I’m doing just fine!!! Thanks for sharing this message with us! 🤗
I am single because God is working on healing my past abuse and past sexual immorality or fear of intimacy in marriage and my future husband leaving me. I am also growing spiritually and helping other single girls within the church and I need to work on loving myself more and having strong boundaries:)... im 32 single and sometimes i wish i was married with kids and get jealous of friends who have this but then i realise im on a different journey and marriage doesn’t solve your problems it magnifies them and God’s timing is perfect and I have lots of spare time to help singles and broken ppl in the church so whoo!:)
I can relate..I have really needed much healing because I was very promiscuous as a teenager and then had long term relationships with non believing men..even when I was a believer..until I was 43. I'm now 58 and have been celibate for 5 years now..imagine how I feel..it's like, "Is marriage ever going to happen?" I am hopeful but if I think about it and look around..there doesn't seem to be a lot of available men of God in this country. However, I am more closer to Jesus than I have ever been and I am very thankful for what God has done in my life and is doing. I think we're living in very exciting times and anything is possible.
I can relate as well; Gods healing is worth it, and he can restore your purity. You will look back on this as the best thing you ever did for yourself. Gods timing is perfect; No need to rush something like marriage, especially when he is preparing you for it. I hope this helps.
ApplyGodsWord.com/Mark Ballenger I’ve been reading Exodus Chapter 4 I asked God “what are my idols,I don’t think I have any?” And then the lord showed me. My idol is marriage.....
This is really good, I was considered the preachy girlfriend. I'm learning to tone it down and love unconditonally because I know I'm no where near perfect myself. 1 Corinthians 6:11.
I was sexually assaulted at a young age and was terrified of men and I am only saying these things because God healed me and I no longer view men this way.❤️
I love being single. I enjoy my relationship with my Father God and His Son my Savior. I love to listen for the Holy Spirit's whispers. If I meet a guy, that's icing on the cake.
I wish more people could hear this valuable teaching. A lot of us act like feeling ready for marriage is enough, when really, being in love with God is not enough to actually be ready for marriage. You still need to build a skill set to endure loving and living with a flawed human being. We love God because He is perfect. People are not easy to live with. This is real
3 unattractive qualities: 1. Big sweeping negative generalizations about opposite sex. (.. usually projecting individual experience--need to forgive.) 2. Always being defensive and having a victim mentality. (.. some people always have an excuse to not do the right thing) 3. A preachy mentality, especially in what the person doesn't have experience in. (..can wear people out.)
Your passion for what you do shows. :)))) your heart is the right place. Thank you for helping us. I hope you get to start speaking at Christian events bc you have lots to share. God bless.
I am a GOAL DIGGER 😂 I believe this season of waiting is for me to get closet to God.. improve my relationship with Him..😊 Am thankful for this season.
😃 It's gonna be okay, someone can still love you enough to be patient with you. The Lord loves you and will give you that someone even as He works on you.
Been single for over a year. My past relationships were not with Godly people, including myself. Praise the Lord that I am now walking with God. I enjoy my singleness but I have a growing desire to find a spouse who is on the walk with God. I can’t wait to have a family one day, but I know I gotta pray for patience!!
On point 1: you keep forgetting that the home you grew up in also affects your view of the world. It's not just your past bf's/gf's. If Dad cheated or Mom was a gold digger, you may have to work on your feelings about your family before you try to create a family of your own.
The fear of being rejected, lack of self confidence is what I have. True I find mostly guys the same, maybe because of what I've been through...thanks to this video I need to change my perception in every man. 🙏😍
Thank you brother Mark for this video. Getting out of that victim mentality. I’m an introvert that is trying to find the balance of what God wants for my life. 🙏🏻😇
Pastor Mark many people are all of these things but are married and many none of these things but are single. I agree these attitudes are toxic but honestly feels like there's no formula.
@@sharonsOff also, Apart from Adam and Eve, I wonder if there has ever been a perfect man and a perfect woman, with everything in place at point of marriage. Solomon says that a three fold chord is not easily broken. The three are God, the man and his wife. If there is a genuine desire for God to have His own way in each man and woman, and if there is a covenant before God till death do us part, and an acknowledgement that both husband and wife always need God to hgelp them and change them more into Jesus Christ's image and likeness, then those kinds of things are the anchor for the marriage. God can change the most insecure man and selfish and the most whatever woman, if they are calling out to Him daily, apart and together. I believe that with God no mariage NEEDS to fail -for with God nothing is impossible. A good helathy solid Christ centred marriage is made one day at a time.
From what I've experienced women always casted me as the side dude or friend zone. Like you said not all women are like that and that's my mindset. At the same time to avoid any let down , embarrassment, or disappointment I don't put myself out like that anymore because of how this is repeated.
Jesse Kirksey yea I hear ya it’s hard to put yourself out there bc of the cycle of embarrassment that has come from getting rejected right away and then ruining any sort of potential friendship that could have been. It’s a serious struggle
I’m really glad I’ve come across you’re videos, as a Christian single this information as well from your other videos have really helped me keep in mind the do’s and dont’s in my single walk. God bless you
I dated a guy who was always offensive and blaming everyone for his anger and actions he had with every single person I tried to help him in this but it was impossible . We sense broke up but I still pray God will change him cause it’s not only effected our relationship it effects all of his relationships with bosses family friends etc . Till this day he still in the same position and situation . He still wants to work it out with me but it’s so exhausting trying to work something out worse someone who still in the same rut and never wanting to except it . I know I’m not perfect but he still blames me that I was the one who changed the relationship when sense the beginning he was so difficult to be in a relay with . All I know I had fault because I went in with the emotional mentally that I can help him through this when God continue to show me more about how this cannot work right now with us . So I’m praying he will get help and i also to learn from our situation , thanks again for your videos ! God bless
Excellent! This video is so on point!! 💖 God is healing me now. 🎇🎇🎇🎇. Thanks be to God !! 💖 But previously I could fall into some or all of these traps, until I did my counseling work, with prayer as well. 🎆🎆🎆🎆
This is a compelling discussion. I am led to believe a very good way of approaching opposite sex pre-marriage relations is engaging in a non physical friendship with people in whom you share commonality. Keep everything possible sacred for the marital commitment and try not to ever be alone with someone you're attracted to. It also protects one's heart so you won't be carrying previous unnecessary hurt into marriage.
It's hard for me to accept singleness is a gift because honestly it doesn't feel like it. It's hard for me because I have a few friends, we hang out, but they have their own lives. Mom and dad are with God and I want my own family. I'm 39 and honestly I am really starting to worry that I'm going to die alone without anyone to care for me. My friend says my standards are too high and I am too particular. I honestly don't think I should have to settle. The heart wants what it wants, it cannot be helped. It's the only thing I want desperately that I don't have. I realize that I am doing perfectly fine with God leading the way and my Prophetess friend told me be careful what I pray for. Is praying for this nightly a sin ? I really hate being single.
Thank you Mark for ministering to us with pure Biblical perspective and sincere love for us. God’s truth is heard and felt by all of us who have ears to hear. I came across your channel many months ago by chance as a suggestion in my UA-cam home screen. I subscribe right after the first video I watched!! All your videos have blessed me and given me help to heal and process more emotionally and relationally, after years of trauma by narcissistic abuse in my “Christian” marriage. ( or was he really a born again Christian??) Anyway, Now that I have been given a new chapter in my life, I believe God placed you in my path on purpose to help equip me through His grace for the relationships and future marriage to come. God always prepares you where His will is leading us. So I’m blessed to have been able to absorb what the Holy Spirit wants to teach me in this season by way of your channel. 🙏🏻🍀praying a hedge of protection around you and your family as you minister to us all. God bless and keep you!!🍀💕🙌🏻 Keep up the great work for God’s Kingdom
I find myself at fault at all three of these things I have to work on them thank you for the advice basic understanding that you give us good advice for anyone to follow I'm sorry for doing this
Yes this is all true and so unattractive. Just because a relationship doesn't work out. Learn from it and take that knowledge with you as you search for someone who will be good for you.
@@broco6608 Well..im approaching attractive women. I can probably get a date with an unattractive woman, but to me, whats the point of an unattractive woman??
I don't agree with them feeling that way. But I understand why that feel that way. But I will often say to them perhaps it is the type of women that you are choosing. Men end up with women like that because they generally go after a certain type of woman. Sometimes our preferences and types can get us into trouble.
I believe and struggling with maybe the Lord wants me to be single at 59 , which I don’t mind really, it’s nice to hv a male companion, friend, just to talk to and help each other out in life! Be there for each other if we get sick, someone to make chicken soup for! 😊❤️🙏✝️
Who this is right on the mark about abused women. I was dating one it was so confusing I felt like I had to give a written garontee that I wouldn’t do any thing out of line ever so exhausted and constantly wondering if I messed up some where and didn’t know it. She couldn’t move on from her past. Needless to say this only lasted a few months.
This is just my own personal opinion, but i personally think we as human beings are still holding up walls that truly need to be broken down because even if you have had past hurts, perhaps these walls are preventing us, from God bringing us our significant others into our lives. On another note, could it be that we haven't found the one God has for us, is because our expectations have been raised too high? Now I'm not saying we shouldn't have a list of what characteristics and behaviours we would like too see in other people, but when it gets to a point where our list of wants is super detailed, then I would say just dial it down abit, because while God might not give us everything we want to see in a person's life, He ultimately knows what we need right. God just might give us some of our details on our lists for what we're looking for and maybe not every single one, but for me that would be okay because I know when God brings in the right Godly Christian woman into my life, she will be meant for me and only me.
I’ve been molested, sexually assaulted and abused by a few specific men, however… I refuse to view all men as being predators or in a negative manner. One of the defining factors that will determine wholeness and perspective, is forgiveness. If we choose to be bitter toward the opposite gender for what a few bad intentioned individuals did, you will continue to be miserable and never change your journey. It is essential to forgive and allow a Christ to heal you other wise that bitterness will destroy your spouse or next relationship .
My husband of 10 years cheated on me with a woman from Canada and he was talking with her behind my back, I was so devastated and heart broken We have been separated for one year, God was with me and show me it was going to be ok
This exact same thing happened to me and we are all Canadians. So sad! I felt like I had written this post myself. God is showing me, that after 1 year, that He will lead me and guide me towards a better tomorrow, a fresh start, a new beginning since God is doing something new in my life.
Hey Mark I was wondering can you do a video on how to get rid of toxic friends? I am going through this and I would appreciate it if you can answer my request I would appreciate it! Thank you Mark God bless 🙏🙏🙏😇😇😇
Yea that’s a serious issue. Especially when the toxic friends are people who always live in the victim mindset and you feel guilty for leaving them bc they have no one else. There’s only so much a person can let someone else take advantage of them before it becomes toxic.
I thank God for placing this in my recommendations on today. Because to be honest. I have been struggling with not becoming cynical due to past relationships. I know that the bad relationships I was in came from me trying to move to quickly, from me not using Godly wisdom and discernment, and from me purposely ignoring red flags about someone when the Lord showed them to me. I allowed the enemy to convince me that God didn't have someone better for me, and to convince me that I was showing them love in the correct way. Idk how to explain it. I just continue to ask God to help me in every way. I know I'm not perfect, and I need His love and kindness to see me through in Jesus name.
Is it a sin to be SINGLE! Why is it that you have to be with somebody to be complete? Some of us are fine being on our own. Especially today in this deviant, evil world, where greed and corruption rule. I serve Jesus Christ! He is the only one that I need.
No, it's not a sin to be single and it is a blessing from God. But it's not a sin to want to be married either and marriage is a blessing too. This video was for people who want to be married :)
Karen Skultety Mark has videos regarding singleness and how some people are called to be married and some are not, both destinies are equally important it is just that they are different. Mark is not pushing marriage as an idol..he is always saying go seek God and do His will.. just so you know..
R Tr . I understand what you're saying but single people are often misunderstood. We go against nature. We're all supposed to get married and have children. I've been in relationships, long term relationships but none were blessed by God, because I didn't get it then. Like, you're not supposed to live with someone outside of marriage, have pre marital sex etc... I lived carnally then, I don't any longer. Jesus is enough for me now. He is all I will ever need. I don't have the desire or the will to even try anymore. Especially because men, as well as women, couldn't possibly understand that there are women and men who don't live secular lives any longer. Even in my Church, singular people are treated differently. Ironically, all I ever wanted was to be a wife and Mother. Sigh!
@@karenskultety8687 Hi, if you have had a desire to be a wife and a mother then I would suggest that you discern about your vocation again. I can read from your text that you have given up on even trying anymore. But towards the end you make a contradictory statement. All I am saying is if you have had a desire to get married you shouldn't just give up because of past experiences, you must really discern your calling and if God calls you to lead a single life after that atleast you know it's coming from God and not just from your personal experiences with men.
It's not sin to be single..... It's just that instead of a man to be committing fornication it's better you get married and while being married you commit adultery, the Bible says it's better for a man to be single than get married and do adultery..... Being single is not a sin
My sister often chooses to be irresponsible when it comes to buying her groceries but then she gets into trouble with mom and I often blame society for not allowing me to get Autonomous RV and not being able to drive and that’s why my parents drive me and these are struggles that we all have when it comes to our sinful nature which is why people often become irresponsible and decide to avoid work but then we all have social programs whether in Asia along with Western Society set into place since the 1990’s - Early 2000’s which are all set into place in order to get more people to work cause most people nowadays are too lazy and irresponsible thanks to advancements in technology My sister struggles more with independence when it comes to doing her chores and buying groceries while I tend to struggle more with independence when it comes to driving ☮️ a car 🚗 because I wanna be safe on the road and avoid conflicts with my parents but I also tend to struggle worse with independence than my twin sister when it comes to money 💰 cause I’m currently living off my disability pension and my sister is currently at university school 🏫 and is able to drive a car 🚗 which means that she doesn’t get disability for her ADHD which I have for my Autism but my sister can still apply for disability since she has ADHD but she just simply chooses not to and my parents also had me apply for disability for my Autism because I was not able to drive a car 🚗 and buy it off of the Internet before finishing high school 🏫 in Ontario but at least I’m getting into WES Program at keyindustries.ca soon which means that I’ll have a lot more money 💰 in my bank 🏦 Account and a little bit more independence but I’m not sure 🤔 what will happen until I find out by the 2020 New Years I could have gotten car 🚗 insurance 💰 at the age of 16 if I were more like Scott from Canada’s Worst Drivers and wasted my money 💰 off of a car 🚗 I didn’t need off the Internet We will luckily have 5G Technology all over the world 🌎 very soon especially for Autonomous Vehicles 🚗 It’s all thanks to advancements in cellular technology within the last couple of years since 2014 that I have failed to get my own drivers licence 💳 along with my self-talk and my obsession with imaginary girlfriends like Princess Peach from Super Mario Nintendo unfortunately and that’s why I’m dealing with all of those Internet Trolls on Twitter right now but sometimes I’ll have to fight against the issues while at other times I’ll have to keep some of the issues private out of respect for others around me But I also obsess too much about Google and UA-cam and I generalize things too much thanks to the ABA Therapy I did with Eileen Bethune for my autism during early childhood but I’ll have to learn how to fight against all of those tendencies along with my challenges in life unfortunately if I wanna to have a better quality of life within my own society But that’s also why I dealt with trolls on UA-cam in the past which I no longer have to worry about and that’s why UA-cam and Google and Twitter are getting a lot more stricter in the year 2020 even in ways that are beyond what I can tolerate unlike today unfortunately
A good woman & a good man is hard 2 find nowdays. I just simply believe all good things that r still single, THAT'S BECAUSE WE R HARD TO FIND PERIOD!!!!!
Say you like your friend, but your pretty sure if you say you like them that they will only see you as a friend, so you pretend to not like them. Is it a sin since it's technically lying?
Pastor Mark may I ask as God is still guiding me through pastoral college, I had my stroke over 30 years ago but recovered about 95% because of the Glory and Love of God; why do human beings when looking to date and be married still look at the outside first and not the heart as God teaches? Or not support each others callings and gifts God placed in, but runs away from them instead of taking a chance in getting to know amazing hearts He creates? He revealed this is why I'm still single. That my marriage for Christ will always come before whoever I date and marry as that alone has turn a Christian man away.. Is this wrong? Thank you. In my prayers.
speaking as someone who was introduced to pornography and sexually abuse and raped by a family member: Denial, shame, and guilt are things that are keeping you from receiving your healing from God. I recommend finding an AA group, as they deal with many more problems than just alcohol, its a sanctuary from God for people to share their hurts and their struggles in a place where God is the focus. It's really hard to let go of the pain, I've been there. I held on to my pain for a very long time. I was introduced to pornography at 11, and later sexually abused and raped. I've only just recently (29), been able to fully let go of it and let God give me His peace and mercy. Please find someone you trust to talk about it, and ask God to heal your hurts and be your salve. Tell Him how much you need Him.
I GUESS THE REASON I'M SINGLE BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN TRUST A MAN OR NOT. ALL MEN SEEMS LIKE TO ME IS THEY'RE NOT SATISFIED WITH ONE WOMAN THEIR EYES ARE ALWAYS LOOKING AROUND, AND I GUESS I'M JUST AFRAID OF BEING HURT. I DON'T LIKE REJECTION AT ALL. WOULD BE WONDERFUL TO FIND THAT PERFECT MAN, BUT I DON'T KNOW IF HE'S OUT THERE OR NOT. I WANT MY MAN TO HAVE EYES FOR ME ONLY, NOT EVERY WOMAN WHO WALKS BY. JUESS I HAVE SOME INSECURITIES LIKE THAT. PLEASE PRAY FOR ME, BECAUSE IT GETS PRETTY LONELY BY YOURSELF A LOT.
Great advice. I just tell my story on my relationship. How she was made an opioid addict by doctors. She is gone disappeared. 3 years. No contact at all. I have learned. Baby boomers. Are on this drug, for life. All will take this drug to there grave. You have heard stories about Chinese farmers dieing in the opioid dens. There pain in lower back had to be so strong depression set in the mind. Smoking opium may be the only solution to stop the pain. Even though it cost them there life. Gods plan to end all misery. I can only pray. For them. Nothing I can do. Later.
Yes I totally agree with you. But what if the mistakes in the video and you are going through some sort of abuse. Is there some sort of wait we can put some of these mistakes to good use so I can attract my crush?
I have listened to you Mark about a few things about Christian Singleness, I must tell you it's very interesting to hear this from a Christian man, I'm 59 years old and divorced and haven't remarried and have one son 29 years old. Some of the things you are saying are true about gold diggers and that. I have heard this before and about those type of people that act as if they know it all when they don't. Even though I'm a Christian women I have never dated a Christian man but I would think and correct me please if I'm wrong but to me a man is still a man in part only one walks with the Lord and the other does not. A man Christian or not still I would think desires sex does he not? Thinks like a normal man? I hope I hear something back about this I would be interested to know it would help me understand better as I would like to get married again but it has to be different, I have been in prayer about this very thing.
What do you have for people who are trying to get married again because of being a widow? Seems most of your advice is for young people looking for their first marriage. Some of us are old lol. My desire is to marry again. Any advice?
Great advice Mark! Good tips to follow. I have a question...Mark what is your opinion about showing intelligence? I heard a conversation once in which one person said to the other that a woman should not show her intelligence too much because she can scare off potential future husbands. What do you think about that? I would like to hear your opinion. Thank you again! God bless!
I'm not Mark but i find that statement ludicrous. No man worth having would be threatened by you being smart or intelligent. In fact i believe that many would actually appreciate it.
Estie P I think what is meant by that is that some women are intelligent to the point of coming across as a know it all or someone who is seemingly too independent intellectually to the point where a man feels like he has no place or purpose in her life which can scare some guys away. Its fine for a women to be intelligent but not to the point where she allows it to get to her head or in some way sidelines the purpose or responsibilities of the male in the relationship.
Good question Rose Morales, I think that's terrible advice. If she doesn't show her intelligence she will probably end up marrying an unintelligent man and be unhappy w that in the future. I think men and women should be careful not to come across like "know it alls", but if you are intelligent you should just be yourself 🤓. I hope that helps :)
ApplyGodsWord.com/Mark Ballenger Yes it does Mark! I thought of that statement a lot and the girl that was being referred to is definitely humble and not showy at all! I kept thinking of all that pressure - having to "dumb it down" for the sake of not being alone... eventually she's going to implode if she takes that route. Your opinion has a lot of weight on this, not only because you have professional experience/education in this area, but simply because you are a guy. Hopefully she will see that not all men see it as a negative to be married to an intelligent woman. Thanks Mark! God bless!
Isaac Floyd I think perception of intelligence is still dependent on how the other person chooses to perceive you. If no one else but that person has an issue with how you express your intelligence they have a problem not you.
For those of us who don’t have a lot of time :)
1) 1:13 negative generalizations about the opposite gender- saying degrading things about the opposite sex
2) 3:42 having a victim mentality- always thinking that you’re right and others are wrong
3) 7:35 A preachy personality- preaching about something that you don’t know about or sounding judgmental
Thanks😊
@Tiger Lilly the best way I attempt this is by knowing the appropriate scriptures to support but challenge the non believers values and beliefs.
@Tiger Lilly you just said the same thing I did in a different context tho? Please read my response in context with your original statement. Thanks in advance!
@Tiger Lilly ok that's cool but I don't even know you like that so it shouldn't be intense. I'm simply going off your statements made in this comment string.
All three are powerful statements and very true.
I'm single because God is healing me from insecurities and feeling like I'm not enough.
So glad the Lord is working on you and you are receiving it :)
Wassup .. your not alone , I also delete social media so that I don't look at other people life
@@ms.camillewarrenempress31 That's a good idea. I deleted the Facebook app from my phone. It's really just useless and distracts me more from God.
Same
Me too sister
Hey Pastor Mark! I know why I’m still single because God is giving me a spiritual makeover and I’m doing just fine!!! Thanks for sharing this message with us! 🤗
S M That’s so awesome!
Amen!
Me too♥️
I am single because God is working on healing my past abuse and past sexual immorality or fear of intimacy in marriage and my future husband leaving me. I am also growing spiritually and helping other single girls within the church and I need to work on loving myself more and having strong boundaries:)... im 32 single and sometimes i wish i was married with kids and get jealous of friends who have this but then i realise im on a different journey and marriage doesn’t solve your problems it magnifies them and God’s timing is perfect and I have lots of spare time to help singles and broken ppl in the church so whoo!:)
Healing is a beautiful thing unfortunately
I can relate..I have really needed much healing because I was very promiscuous as a teenager and then had long term relationships with non believing men..even when I was a believer..until I was 43. I'm now 58 and have been celibate for 5 years now..imagine how I feel..it's like, "Is marriage ever going to happen?" I am hopeful but if I think about it and look around..there doesn't seem to be a lot of available men of God in this country. However, I am more closer to Jesus than I have ever been and I am very thankful for what God has done in my life and is doing. I think we're living in very exciting times and anything is possible.
I can relate as well; Gods healing is worth it, and he can restore your purity. You will look back on this as the best thing you ever did for yourself. Gods timing is perfect; No need to rush something like marriage, especially when he is preparing you for it. I hope this helps.
Love this comment
Very well stated 🙌🏾
Seeing marriage as an idol could also be keeping you from being found
Njeri A Buncamper that's a great point!
Very true
ApplyGodsWord.com/Mark Ballenger I’ve been reading Exodus Chapter 4 I asked God “what are my idols,I don’t think I have any?” And then the lord showed me. My idol is marriage.....
Excuse me, What’s an IDOL???
Stormi Brooks An idol is; “Anything that takes Gods place in your heart”
This is really good, I was considered the preachy girlfriend. I'm learning to tone it down and love unconditonally because I know I'm no where near perfect myself. 1 Corinthians 6:11.
Me too but I am learning to keep distance from people who brings me down , focus on myself and other important things
I was sexually assaulted at a young age and was terrified of men and I am only saying these things because God healed me and I no longer view men this way.❤️
I'm truly so happy for you
After you told me Paul was single I realized that is how he was able to be so dear with God.
God bless
I love being single. I enjoy my relationship with my Father God and His Son my Savior. I love to listen for the Holy Spirit's whispers. If I meet a guy, that's icing on the cake.
Lynn V getting to this level day by day🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾 God bless you hun❤️
The precious Holy Spirit, the Rua Haq Quedesh is such a comforter and wonderful teacher!
Amen, same here!!!!!
Yea that's why God took so long bringing me someone because I thought all men were the same and he waited for me to get out that phase
Amen, thanks for sharing!
Congrats! that's so good! God bless you!
@Candace How did you rid yourself of that mentality ?! I just realized I’m the problem 🤧😳
❤❤❤
Oops I'm guilty of this
I wish more people could hear this valuable teaching. A lot of us act like feeling ready for marriage is enough, when really, being in love with God is not enough to actually be ready for marriage. You still need to build a skill set to endure loving and living with a flawed human being. We love God because He is perfect. People are not easy to live with. This is real
Good points cherishdeb
Well said
Wow, good point..so true
🔥
3 unattractive qualities:
1. Big sweeping negative generalizations about opposite sex.
(.. usually projecting individual experience--need to forgive.)
2. Always being defensive and having a victim mentality.
(.. some people always have an excuse to not do the right thing)
3. A preachy mentality, especially in what the person doesn't have experience in. (..can wear people out.)
Your passion for what you do shows. :)))) your heart is the right place. Thank you for helping us. I hope you get to start speaking at Christian events bc you have lots to share. God bless.
Thanks mademoisellemsc, I appreciate the encouragement and I'm so glad you are enjoying the AGW content :)
#3 I have definitely been preachy and it’s been a lot of work, shutting up and learning to be a good listener. Very good point sir.
I am a GOAL DIGGER 😂 I believe this season of waiting is for me to get closet to God.. improve my relationship with Him..😊 Am thankful for this season.
lets ddig gold the real gold...i like that all in fun
I'm a overly picky preachy woman please pray that I can shut my mouth and just listen more. 🤦🏻♀️
Starting.......When?
😃 It's gonna be okay, someone can still love you enough to be patient with you. The Lord loves you and will give you that someone even as He works on you.
You s as re was ell on the way!
It’s okay. Thank God for our humility
Been single for over a year. My past relationships were not with Godly people, including myself. Praise the Lord that I am now walking with God. I enjoy my singleness but I have a growing desire to find a spouse who is on the walk with God. I can’t wait to have a family one day, but I know I gotta pray for patience!!
On point 1: you keep forgetting that the home you grew up in also affects your view of the world. It's not just your past bf's/gf's. If Dad cheated or Mom was a gold digger, you may have to work on your feelings about your family before you try to create a family of your own.
The fear of being rejected, lack of self confidence is what I have. True I find mostly guys the same, maybe because of what I've been through...thanks to this video I need to change my perception in every man. 🙏😍
Leah Lozarita same....I think that I fear rejection so much that I have become so defensive...
@@leahluvvanderson3131 we need to change & be with ourselves. 😊
I really appreciate the way you teach. You seem very wise and humble 😊
Thank you brother Mark for this video. Getting out of that victim mentality. I’m an introvert that is trying to find the balance of what God wants for my life. 🙏🏻😇
Your not alone
Never alone
Yeah I am single..but I am fine. God is still working...and I am not done waiting. 😉
Pastor Mark many people are all of these things but are married and many none of these things but are single. I agree these attitudes are toxic but honestly feels like there's no formula.
Teeth Art they may be married but is it a good healthy solid Christian marriage. Huge difference.
@@sharonsOff
also, Apart from Adam and Eve, I wonder if there has ever been a perfect man and a perfect woman, with everything in place at point of marriage.
Solomon says that a three fold chord is not easily broken. The three are God, the man and his wife.
If there is a genuine desire for God to have His own way in each man and woman, and if there is a covenant before God till death do us part, and an acknowledgement that both husband and wife always need God to hgelp them and change them more into Jesus Christ's image and likeness, then those kinds of things are the anchor for the marriage.
God can change the most insecure man and selfish and the most whatever woman, if they are calling out to Him daily, apart and together.
I believe that with God no mariage NEEDS to fail -for with God nothing is impossible.
A good helathy solid Christ centred marriage is made one day at a time.
Ian McDonald amen
Preacher Mark is naive and lacks experience.
If you are what they want; grace is given. If not, you can do no right. Jer:17:9
Being single is a blessing.
amen
May God speak to all of us! Great video
Amen KEllisTalks
Truth! Well said and good reminder to be mindful
It might seem like a really long video but I employ everyone to watch the whole video if they have the time. You will be blessed, trust me
God bless!
Thank you for this Mark. A lot of unanswered questions have been answered. 🙏
I am Single and totally Ready to Mingle! I've been praying for God to prepare me to be a wife and to send me a husband.
Send....UPS?
Same here also
He explains things clearly.
Be careful what you wish for or pray for.
From what I've experienced women always casted me as the side dude or friend zone. Like you said not all women are like that and that's my mindset. At the same time to avoid any let down , embarrassment, or disappointment I don't put myself out like that anymore because of how this is repeated.
Jesse Kirksey yea I hear ya it’s hard to put yourself out there bc of the cycle of embarrassment that has come from getting rejected right away and then ruining any sort of potential friendship that could have been. It’s a serious struggle
Yeah, the friendzoned girl and it's an awful feeling.
I struggle with this too,and God is helping me work through it but some times it feels hopeless ...
You do a very nice job ! Always enjoy listening !
So glad to hear this Lauraç Baier :)
I am glad and grateful that God has protected me from having any of these undesirable traits! 🙏
I’m really glad I’ve come across you’re videos, as a Christian single this information as well from your other videos have really helped me keep in mind the do’s and dont’s in my single walk. God bless you
I dated a guy who was always offensive and blaming everyone for his anger and actions he had with every single person I tried to help him in this but it was impossible . We sense broke up but I still pray God will change him cause it’s not only effected our relationship it effects all of his relationships with bosses family friends etc . Till this day he still in the same position and situation . He still wants to work it out with me but it’s so exhausting trying to work something out worse someone who still in the same rut and never wanting to except it . I know I’m not perfect but he still blames me that I was the one who changed the relationship when sense the beginning he was so difficult to be in a relay with . All I know I had fault because I went in with the emotional mentally that I can help him through this when God continue to show me more about how this cannot work right now with us . So I’m praying he will get help and i also to learn from our situation , thanks again for your videos ! God bless
Thx for these golden nuggets of wisdom, Mark! 💖👍💯
My pleasure Disa Jardine 👍
Excellent! This video is so on point!! 💖 God is healing me now. 🎇🎇🎇🎇.
Thanks be to God !! 💖 But previously I could fall into some or all of these traps, until I did my counseling work, with prayer as well. 🎆🎆🎆🎆
This is a compelling discussion. I am led to believe a very good way of approaching opposite sex pre-marriage relations is engaging in a non physical friendship with people in whom you share commonality. Keep everything possible sacred for the marital commitment and try not to ever be alone with someone you're attracted to. It also protects one's heart so you won't be carrying previous unnecessary hurt into marriage.
Yes!
Very true...
Good way of looking at it.
Tanya Stevens yep that is
God bless!
It's hard for me to accept singleness is a gift because honestly it doesn't feel like it. It's hard for me because I have a few friends, we hang out, but they have their own lives. Mom and dad are with God and I want my own family. I'm 39 and honestly I am really starting to worry that I'm going to die alone without anyone to care for me. My friend says my standards are too high and I am too particular. I honestly don't think I should have to settle. The heart wants what it wants, it cannot be helped. It's the only thing I want desperately that I don't have. I realize that I am doing perfectly fine with God leading the way and my Prophetess friend told me be careful what I pray for. Is praying for this nightly a sin ? I really hate being single.
The one who refuses to accept flaws in a partner shall soon buy cats, for cats are all they'll ever have. 'The Wall' as they say, is undefeated.
Good video, the last quality is huge.
Kevin B 👍
Thank you Mark for ministering to us with pure Biblical perspective and sincere love for us. God’s truth is heard and felt by all of us who have ears to hear. I came across your channel many months ago by chance as a suggestion in my UA-cam home screen. I subscribe right after the first video I watched!! All your videos have blessed me and given me help to heal and process more emotionally and relationally, after years of trauma by narcissistic abuse in my “Christian” marriage. ( or was he really a born again Christian??)
Anyway, Now that I have been given a new chapter in my life, I believe God placed you in my path on purpose to help equip me through His grace for the relationships and future marriage to come. God always prepares you where His will is leading us. So I’m blessed to have been able to absorb what the Holy Spirit wants to teach me in this season by way of your channel.
🙏🏻🍀praying a hedge of protection around you and your family as you minister to us all. God bless and keep you!!🍀💕🙌🏻
Keep up the great work for God’s Kingdom
Love this video thank you Pastor Mark
Very good points, thanks
Very good advises 👏
We all not perfect, but after seeing this making me stronger
Great advice
very good points... thank you Mark. Blame, blame, blame... very unattractive
My pleasure
Wow your videos are amazing
I'm so glad you are enjoying them Ella!
i am blessed not being avoid by my friends cause i struggle with victimhood but i wanna get out of this.
I find myself at fault at all three of these things I have to work on them thank you for the advice basic understanding that you give us good advice for anyone to follow I'm sorry for doing this
Really good video Mark. Thanks again.
My pleasure Ladenna!
Holy crap I have realized how my defensive behavior is defective.
I have made excuses, and now I understand better.
I have also been blaming my parents for my life choices or unhappiness, and I should be the one to take responsibility.
Great points
Thanks so much for all of your great advice! It's so very helpful!!!
You are so welcome Chanty, God bless :)
Thanks. Very enlightening.
Thank you for this video God bless 😊
My pleasure!
Yes this is all true and so unattractive. Just because a relationship doesn't work out. Learn from it and take that knowledge with you as you search for someone who will be good for you.
wow I thought I was the only one who could relate to number 3!
It's almost impossible just to get a date in the first place...how in the world am I going to get married??
@@broco6608 I just can't find someone that wants to date. I'm seriously thinking about paying someone to go out with me
@@broco6608 Well..im approaching attractive women. I can probably get a date with an unattractive woman, but to me, whats the point of an unattractive woman??
@@broco6608 Sounds like good advice...thanks! 👌
@@dnlcast2 attractive women don't always make attractive partners. Unattractive ones can often be more dependable.
@@dnlcast2 Marry a Filipino woman. They are so caring and not spoiled like American women It worked for me !
Great video. Thanks
Thank you for your words that brings more wisdom to us.
I can't stand those men who say that all women are gold diggers! Unattractive!!!
They say that when they are cheap freaks.
But they really are though.
I don't agree with them feeling that way. But I understand why that feel that way. But I will often say to them perhaps it is the type of women that you are choosing. Men end up with women like that because they generally go after a certain type of woman. Sometimes our preferences and types can get us into trouble.
Brad Stevens There are tons of minimalist, frugal, good women out there. Stop OVER-generalizing.
I believe and struggling with maybe the Lord wants me to be single at 59 , which I don’t mind really, it’s nice to hv a male companion, friend, just to talk to and help each other out in life! Be there for each other if we get sick, someone to make chicken soup for! 😊❤️🙏✝️
I love your videos
I don't do those things you mentioned, I still don't understand why I'm still single at 39.
These points are good
Thumbs up for this video
👍👍👍👍
Who this is right on the mark about abused women. I was dating one it was so confusing I felt like I had to give a written garontee that I wouldn’t do any thing out of line ever so exhausted and constantly wondering if I messed up some where and didn’t know it. She couldn’t move on from her past. Needless to say this only lasted a few months.
This is just my own personal opinion, but i personally think we as human beings are still holding up walls that truly need to be broken down because even if you have had past hurts, perhaps these walls are preventing us, from God bringing us our significant others into our lives. On another note, could it be that we haven't found the one God has for us, is because our expectations have been raised too high? Now I'm not saying we shouldn't have a list of what characteristics and behaviours we would like too see in other people, but when it gets to a point where our list of wants is super detailed, then I would say just dial it down abit, because while God might not give us everything we want to see in a person's life, He ultimately knows what we need right. God just might give us some of our details on our lists for what we're looking for and maybe not every single one, but for me that would be okay because I know when God brings in the right Godly Christian woman into my life, she will be meant for me and only me.
I’ve been molested, sexually assaulted and abused by a few specific men, however… I refuse to view all men as being predators or in a negative manner. One of the defining factors that will determine wholeness and perspective, is forgiveness. If we choose to be bitter toward the opposite gender for what a few bad intentioned individuals did, you will continue to be miserable and never change your journey. It is essential to forgive and allow a Christ to heal you other wise that bitterness will destroy your spouse or next relationship .
this channel is a Godsend (lol)
My husband of 10 years cheated on me with a woman from Canada and he was talking with her behind my back,
I was so devastated and heart broken
We have been separated for one year,
God was with me and show me it was going to be ok
This exact same thing happened to me and we are all Canadians. So sad! I felt like I had written this post myself. God is showing me, that after 1 year, that He will lead me and guide me towards a better tomorrow, a fresh start, a new beginning since God is doing something new in my life.
I love you both! And always remember you are worthy no matter how someone has treated you! Keep your heads up and move forward to God’s plan!
Does it matter that she’s Canadian?
Very helpful advice !
I know what I need to work on . Lol
Great video! Thank you! 😀
My pleasure Trish Garofalo
Hey Mark I was wondering can you do a video on how to get rid of toxic friends? I am going through this and I would appreciate it if you can answer my request I would appreciate it! Thank you Mark God bless 🙏🙏🙏😇😇😇
Yea that’s a serious issue. Especially when the toxic friends are people who always live in the victim mindset and you feel guilty for leaving them bc they have no one else. There’s only so much a person can let someone else take advantage of them before it becomes toxic.
I thank God for placing this in my recommendations on today. Because to be honest. I have been struggling with not becoming cynical due to past relationships. I know that the bad relationships I was in came from me trying to move to quickly, from me not using Godly wisdom and discernment, and from me purposely ignoring red flags about someone when the Lord showed them to me. I allowed the enemy to convince me that God didn't have someone better for me, and to convince me that I was showing them love in the correct way. Idk how to explain it. I just continue to ask God to help me in every way. I know I'm not perfect, and I need His love and kindness to see me through in Jesus name.
Amen, his grace is what we need!
These are a little bit hard especially since modern society pretty much conditions women to be these things.
Great video a🌻
John 3:16 III% 👍
My mom is tearing me apart with this. She was sexually abuse growing up, up to her twenties.
I was abused sexually, physically and emotionally by various people through-out my childhood. So it wasn't just one time by one person.
Is it a sin to be SINGLE! Why is it that you have to be with somebody to be complete? Some of us are fine being on our own. Especially today in this deviant, evil world, where greed and corruption rule. I serve Jesus Christ! He is the only one that I need.
No, it's not a sin to be single and it is a blessing from God. But it's not a sin to want to be married either and marriage is a blessing too. This video was for people who want to be married :)
Karen Skultety Mark has videos regarding singleness and how some people are called to be married and some are not, both destinies are equally important it is just that they are different. Mark is not pushing marriage as an idol..he is always saying go seek God and do His will.. just so you know..
R Tr . I understand what you're saying but single people are often misunderstood. We go against nature. We're all supposed to
get married and have children. I've been in relationships, long term relationships but none were blessed by God, because I didn't get it then. Like, you're not supposed to live with someone outside of marriage, have pre marital sex etc... I lived carnally then, I don't any longer. Jesus is enough for me now. He is all I will ever need. I don't have the desire or the will to even try anymore. Especially because men, as well as women, couldn't possibly understand that there are women and men who don't live secular lives any longer. Even in my Church, singular people are treated differently. Ironically, all I ever wanted was to be a wife and Mother. Sigh!
@@karenskultety8687 Hi, if you have had a desire to be a wife and a mother then I would suggest that you discern about your vocation again. I can read from your text that you have given up on even trying anymore. But towards the end you make a contradictory statement.
All I am saying is if you have had a desire to get married you shouldn't just give up because of past experiences, you must really discern your calling and if God calls you to lead a single life after that atleast you know it's coming from God and not just from your personal experiences with men.
It's not sin to be single..... It's just that instead of a man to be committing fornication it's better you get married and while being married you commit adultery, the Bible says it's better for a man to be single than get married and do adultery.....
Being single is not a sin
My sister often chooses to be irresponsible when it comes to buying her groceries but then she gets into trouble with mom and I often blame society for not allowing me to get Autonomous RV and not being able to drive and that’s why my parents drive me and these are struggles that we all have when it comes to our sinful nature which is why people often become irresponsible and decide to avoid work but then we all have social programs whether in Asia along with Western Society set into place since the 1990’s - Early 2000’s which are all set into place in order to get more people to work cause most people nowadays are too lazy and irresponsible thanks to advancements in technology
My sister struggles more with independence when it comes to doing her chores and buying groceries while I tend to struggle more with independence when it comes to driving ☮️ a car 🚗 because I wanna be safe on the road and avoid conflicts with my parents but I also tend to struggle worse with independence than my twin sister when it comes to money 💰 cause I’m currently living off my disability pension and my sister is currently at university school 🏫 and is able to drive a car 🚗 which means that she doesn’t get disability for her ADHD which I have for my Autism but my sister can still apply for disability since she has ADHD but she just simply chooses not to and my parents also had me apply for disability for my Autism because I was not able to drive a car 🚗 and buy it off of the Internet before finishing high school 🏫 in Ontario but at least I’m getting into WES Program at keyindustries.ca soon which means that I’ll have a lot more money 💰 in my bank 🏦 Account and a little bit more independence but I’m not sure 🤔 what will happen until I find out by the 2020 New Years
I could have gotten car 🚗 insurance 💰 at the age of 16 if I were more like Scott from Canada’s Worst Drivers and wasted my money 💰 off of a car 🚗 I didn’t need off the Internet
We will luckily have 5G Technology all over the world 🌎 very soon especially for Autonomous Vehicles 🚗
It’s all thanks to advancements in cellular technology within the last couple of years since 2014 that I have failed to get my own drivers licence 💳 along with my self-talk and my obsession with imaginary girlfriends like Princess Peach from Super Mario Nintendo unfortunately and that’s why I’m dealing with all of those Internet Trolls on Twitter right now but sometimes I’ll have to fight against the issues while at other times I’ll have to keep some of the issues private out of respect for others around me
But I also obsess too much about Google and UA-cam and I generalize things too much thanks to the ABA Therapy I did with Eileen Bethune for my autism during early childhood but I’ll have to learn how to fight against all of those tendencies along with my challenges in life unfortunately if I wanna to have a better quality of life within my own society
But that’s also why I dealt with trolls on UA-cam in the past which I no longer have to worry about and that’s why UA-cam and Google and Twitter are getting a lot more stricter in the year 2020 even in ways that are beyond what I can tolerate unlike today unfortunately
A good woman & a good man is hard 2 find nowdays. I just simply believe all good things that r still single, THAT'S BECAUSE WE R HARD TO FIND PERIOD!!!!!
Say you like your friend, but your pretty sure if you say you like them that they will only see you as a friend, so you pretend to not like them. Is it a sin since it's technically lying?
Pastor Mark may I ask as God is still guiding me through pastoral college, I had my stroke over 30 years ago but recovered about 95% because of the Glory and Love of God; why do human beings when looking to date and be married still look at the outside first and not the heart as God teaches? Or not support each others callings and gifts God placed in, but runs away from them instead of taking a chance in getting to know amazing hearts He creates? He revealed this is why I'm still single. That my marriage for Christ will always come before whoever I date and marry as that alone has turn a Christian man away.. Is this wrong? Thank you. In my prayers.
speaking as someone who was introduced to pornography and sexually abuse and raped by a family member:
Denial, shame, and guilt are things that are keeping you from receiving your healing from God. I recommend finding an AA group, as they deal with many more problems than just alcohol, its a sanctuary from God for people to share their hurts and their struggles in a place where God is the focus.
It's really hard to let go of the pain, I've been there. I held on to my pain for a very long time. I was introduced to pornography at 11, and later sexually abused and raped. I've only just recently (29), been able to fully let go of it and let God give me His peace and mercy.
Please find someone you trust to talk about it, and ask God to heal your hurts and be your salve. Tell Him how much you need Him.
I GUESS THE REASON I'M SINGLE BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN TRUST A MAN OR NOT. ALL MEN SEEMS LIKE TO ME IS THEY'RE NOT SATISFIED WITH ONE WOMAN THEIR EYES ARE ALWAYS LOOKING AROUND, AND I GUESS I'M JUST AFRAID OF BEING HURT. I DON'T LIKE REJECTION AT ALL. WOULD BE WONDERFUL TO FIND THAT PERFECT MAN, BUT I DON'T KNOW IF HE'S OUT THERE OR NOT. I WANT MY MAN TO HAVE EYES FOR ME ONLY, NOT EVERY WOMAN WHO WALKS BY. JUESS I HAVE SOME INSECURITIES LIKE THAT. PLEASE PRAY FOR ME, BECAUSE IT GETS PRETTY LONELY BY YOURSELF A LOT.
Great advice. I just tell my story on my relationship. How she was made an opioid addict by doctors. She is gone disappeared. 3 years. No contact at all. I have learned. Baby boomers. Are on this drug, for life. All will take this drug to there grave. You have heard stories about Chinese farmers dieing in the opioid dens. There pain in lower back had to be so strong depression set in the mind. Smoking opium may be the only solution to stop the pain. Even though it cost them there life. Gods plan to end all misery. I can only pray. For them. Nothing I can do. Later.
Thank u brother......how can i go to meet christain women...how i no if they like me
Yes I totally agree with you. But what if the mistakes in the video and you are going through some sort of abuse. Is there some sort of wait we can put some of these mistakes to good use so I can attract my crush?
Been single since the 90’s. Just don’t have the energy for it. That simple.
I have listened to you Mark about a few things about Christian Singleness, I must tell you it's very interesting to hear this from a Christian man, I'm 59 years old and divorced and haven't remarried and have one son 29 years old. Some of the things you are saying are true about gold diggers and that. I have heard this before and about those type of people that act as if they know it all when they don't. Even though I'm a Christian women I have never dated a Christian man but I would think and correct me please if I'm wrong but to me a man is still a man in part only one walks with the Lord and the other does not. A man Christian or not still I would think desires sex does he not? Thinks like a normal man? I hope I hear something back about this I would be interested to know it would help me understand better as I would like to get married again but it has to be different, I have been in prayer about this very thing.
44 turning 45 still single. I give up
What do you have for people who are trying to get married again because of being a widow? Seems most of your advice is for young people looking for their first marriage. Some of us are old lol. My desire is to marry again. Any advice?
#1 every husband everywhere.
Great advice Mark! Good tips to follow. I have a question...Mark what is your opinion about showing intelligence? I heard a conversation once in which one person said to the other that a woman should not show her intelligence too much because she can scare off potential future husbands. What do you think about that? I would like to hear your opinion. Thank you again! God bless!
I'm not Mark but i find that statement ludicrous. No man worth having would be threatened by you being smart or intelligent. In fact i believe that many would actually appreciate it.
Estie P I think what is meant by that is that some women are intelligent to the point of coming across as a know it all or someone who is seemingly too independent intellectually to the point where a man feels like he has no place or purpose in her life which can scare some guys away. Its fine for a women to be intelligent but not to the point where she allows it to get to her head or in some way sidelines the purpose or responsibilities of the male in the relationship.
Good question Rose Morales, I think that's terrible advice. If she doesn't show her intelligence she will probably end up marrying an unintelligent man and be unhappy w that in the future. I think men and women should be careful not to come across like "know it alls", but if you are intelligent you should just be yourself 🤓. I hope that helps :)
ApplyGodsWord.com/Mark Ballenger Yes it does Mark! I thought of that statement a lot and the girl that was being referred to is definitely humble and not showy at all! I kept thinking of all that pressure - having to "dumb it down" for the sake of not being alone... eventually she's going to implode if she takes that route. Your opinion has a lot of weight on this, not only because you have professional experience/education in this area, but simply because you are a guy. Hopefully she will see that not all men see it as a negative to be married to an intelligent woman. Thanks Mark! God bless!
Isaac Floyd I think perception of intelligence is still dependent on how the other person chooses to perceive you. If no one else but that person has an issue with how you express your intelligence they have a problem not you.
I'm doing everything wrong... 😔
And all I want is to find a woman to love and be loved by! 😞
Dont worry. God's will for you will happen, it won't be easy but you will work towards it.
Oh the preachy person 😂 I had to be humbled so much from that 😂