Done! Alain. You sold me the book at the 9:06 Mark of this video. From homeless, almost menopausal with 3 college degrees 🇺🇸 USA, I thank you, for providing me with the much needed quality therapy, I temporarily cannot fit in my budget. Thanks!
@Jack I watched the full version on UA-cam premium. It states "Democracy is the most perfect system of government ever invented. It’s also delivered some of the worst decisions ever made.". Given that election results can only be as good as how well informed the public are, it suggests citizens should demonstrate they are informed and responsible enough to be allowed to vote, and that this change itself should be decided democratically.
It's the mans books you're needing! Literally a part of Alain that you can carry in your pocket! 💖 ( _the Consolations of Philosophy_ is just fantastic from cover to cover. Full of humour, kindness and Truth! )
Whilst I agree with the sentiment, no content can replace therapy because it's a one-way conversation. If you have stuff that's negatively affecting your relationships or self-image, then therapy could still help
Agreed! He is masterful and he should travel westward!! It may drive him insane 🤣but the world could use his research and knowledge several times over. 🙌🏾 --- Watches til the end and hears he is coming to NY next week for 3 days!!😳
I don’t think I believe this. In my work, I’m constantly surrounded by associates who think I’m a loser. And I’m definitely not respected or liked because of it. I suppose failure does make friends, but only between those who share in the humiliation of those who fail.
Yes, it's a good way to make yourself a target for scammers and even physical attacks. Also great for turning women off, except for those who just want to rip you off, that is.
I have done just this and find that somewhere along the lines it is used against me. I have given away too much of my power, so it is my fault. Once I learn I have had my vulnerability used against me, it only happens (3x just to make sure I'm not overreacting), and then I make sure it never happens again - even if it means a loss of friendship. But I do explain very calmly why I feel like this.
"Melancholy is not sadness or despair, nor is it rage, nor is it bitterness, its an elegant negotiation with tragedy. We live in a cruel world. I will tell you how cruel it is. One of the first questions that we face whenever we meet somebody new is "what do you do"? And according to how you answer that questions people are incredibly pleased to see you or a little bit fearful and just leave you alone. And you know that you are not going to get the respect, the kindness, the honor, that all of us crave, because you have not performed well enough in a very fast moving, very competitive capitalistic economy. "
dreamland009666 I disagree; I am in a vocational profession, I have not done well in monetary terms, I dislike and avoid competition but I have "earned" a lot of respect and affection over the years and most people seem to be genuinely pleased when they see me :-)
@@pertelote4526 the ones that know you respect you. If you were to leave the place where people approve and respect you, you would be welcomed with a questions sort of "what do you do?" And based on to the answer they would show interest in you or no interest at all. Its simple. If they have benefit they will show the interest. If no, well you know the answer.
@@dreamland-lw6ce I tend to think it is a bit more complicated; I have been abroad a couple of times and I have always managed to find "my tribe", namely people with similar interests and outlook on life. I do not know, of course, whether those people would stand by me in a time of crisis. I have always been judged on the basis of my knowledge and my willingness to help and support others, not on the size of my pocket or my looks. Perhaps I have been lucky, perhaps - as you claim - it is all about self-interest in the end. Cheers
These kinds of videos deserve more views than music videos. Suicide and depression are at an all time high. Philosophy and psychology is what we all need to learn. Handling emotions should be a class subject.
I completely agree. I suffer from the ailments you mentioned, and have found strength to resist and overcome some of my darker desires through educating myself about the mind through videos like this one.
@@asap397 that's very good to hear. I think the first thing to do when faced with a problem is understanding the source or cause of it. Only then can we start finding a solution or a cure for it. We should stop the culture of just distracting ourselves with stimulants and self destructive behavior instead of facing the problem head on.
Alexis Nicole Flores yes it’s almost at a point where most people’s first instinct to solve some kind of pain or discomfort in their life is a medication or prescription. As if pain and discomfort were not meant to be a part of life.
Alexis Nicole Flores for example, I put a lot of time into trying to understand my self-harming/suicidal desires. I’ve made a lot of progress in my self improvement journey and have been told by some that I am their greatest friend and am an amazing, caring, compassionate person that this world is a better place because of. Yet, I still flirt with the darkness in my heart on a daily basis. Just that fact alone I find very interesting. Even despite all this counter evidence, I can still be intrigued by these dark actions. I hope as I continue my education and my own life I can better understand myself
The School of Life has helped me so much since I discovered it a year ago. I have experienced so much cruelty and trauma in my life that it nearly killed me. I am on a journey of continuous improvement these days to overcome the horrors I have been through. The School of Life has become a valuable tool in my kit of resources to help me live a fulfilled life now and into the future.
@@phillip76 I was married for 25 years to and emotionally abusive woman, she eventually got diagnosed with bipolar disorder but not until I ended the marriage. She wasn't like that when we first married. I told her many times there was something wrong with her but she wouldn't do anything about it. I stuck it out because the woman I loved was buried inside the tyrant and would sometimes be allowed to come out. Also we had two lovely girls who I just could not leave knowing that the family court system would give my wife majority custody. I stayed to protect my kid's from her behaviour. When I told my wife, in Sep 2010, that our marriage was over she threatened suicide so I got her to the doctors where she finally started treatment and therapy. All of a sudden her behaviour towards me completely changed and she couldn't be more attentive. She all of a sudden couldn't give me enough sex when previously pulling teeth was easier. But I was determined to divorce because there was far too many bad experiences over the years. I just didn't love her anymore and actually told her, "It took you 25 years but you finally beat the love out of me." The best she was getting was friendship for the sake of our children. Anyway after a few months and us living separately she took all her pills with wine and killed herself. I found her body as we were still in touch and I was helping her to get better for the sake of our children so we could still be some form of family. But the marriage was over and when she finally realised that there was no hope of reconciliation she did what she did in Aug 2011. Things got worse after that for me. Two months later her elderly father who was in a nursing home, stopped eating after he learnt of his daughters death. He died of a severe lung complaint and I was with him in hospital when he took his last breath. He had wasted away from a broken heart. Then six weeks after that my wife's brother committed suicide by burning the family home down with himself in it. I rushed to the hospital where the doctors came out and told me he was dead. Then the police asked me to identify his body which I did. By this stage I was truly punch drunk. So after all that I plunged into a huge depressive hole and ended up with counselling and medication for the shock of the trauma I had gone through. I started to drink and smoke very heavily and many times nearly died myself. I was going through hell on earth. It's only the last couple of years that I have been able to get my life back. And yes time does heal but you have to go through the rings of fire first. Now I am as happy as anyone can be and have been working very hard to repair the damage done to my health, my mind and my spirit.
I started watching the school of life when I was 16. it really helped me understand my emotions and the behavior of other people. I was a very agressive and often frustrated teenager and at that moment hopelessly in love with a very abusive person. That was six years ago and I changed a lot. When you meet me today, you would say that I'm a very calm and always friendly person. It's a journey I'm on and your channel helped me a lot to start in a better, more accepting and peacefull direction in life. Thank's a lot for that!
Rewire your reward system ; stay away from materialistic narcissistic people take pleasure from peace and hobbies. Create a life you are comfortable with.
Since discovering Alain's work and the School of Life I have watched and listened to this channel repeatedly, and still not sick of it. Great reminder for life's little trifles and like therapy in my comfy couch at home ... Love his body of work. .... if he starts a church I would be signing up 😆
I'm going through a very hard time in my life and that's when I stumbled on the School of Life UA-cam channel, you have helped me a lot lately. Thank you
No wonder he is called one of the best communicators and thinkers in the world. There are so many gold nuggets in his talks and he connected them so perfectly. I can listen to him over and over, and learn new things each time. What a deep and insightful analysis.
My parents were both dead by the time I was nineteen and I come from a hyper Christian extended family being the only woman who was not married at 18/19 and the only atheist (also the only college attendee, aside from mom and dad) Now I’m 21 and beating myself up for how much I should know better yet how tethered I still feel to the disapproval of people whose actions toward me I personally disapprove. The School of Life helps me deeply. Thank you for sharing your intellect with the world. It reaches the smallest corners, including the one that is me.
Brooke - Having both parents die while you're still so young is very difficult and I'm sorry for your loss. At some point, you might've felt as though you had to face the world alone without any primary source of support/strength. It makes sense you would look to the family you have left, so try not to judge yourself for reflexively looking to them for approval or reassurance. I'm glad you're not alright with the negative ways they treat you, it shows that you believe you deserve better. You do. For one reason or another, many of us have found it necessary to create a family of sorts - a group of people we belong with. It isn't easy, but I feel confident you'll find your people. That you're here watching a video like this and able to articulate your struggles and feelings are features of a strong emotional foundation; an excellent start.
His theories should be in every curriculum of mental health education and therapy. After listening to him carefully, I am both feeling better about myself and wanting to continue improving myself. How powerful his talk is!!
We are taught integrals and derivatives in schools but have no understanding for how to handle life, being a human. Fortunately internet is there to fill that gap. I salute you Alain.
"Trying to tell people that life is a perfect business that can be made ideal is one of the quickest ways to depress them. The best way to cheer anoyne up is to tell them that life is dificult for everyone. We suffer, all of us, alone, thinking we are massively unique in our sufferings : we're not. We are broken creatures" ; "you cannot become friends with any human being on the planet without showing a bit of yourself (vulnerability) which they could use against you" ; "A breakdown is a prelude to a breakthrough" ; "Love is a classroom : the point of love is to be able to teach and to learn. A good lover is a good educator and a good pupil" ; (about phychotherapists) "A friend can't fly the plane : you need a trained pilot" ; "No one needs perfection : we just need good enough" ; "To philosophise is to learn to die" ; "If we thought that everybody was immortal we could afford to be cruel and to be tough. On that basis we need urgently to forgive ourselves, to understand ourselves, to feel compassion for ourselves, and to extend some of that luxury towards others". Thank you SoL !
Yes, I totally agree. So what do I do other than being emotional about it (may be a little angry). Found my answer in the movie: GOD HAS ARRIVED ua-cam.com/video/STEta4Ll43s/v-deo.html A beautiful story narrated by this father to his son (and to us the audience). He describes the current situations in the world today, and of the things that are about to come for all of humanity. An eye-opening experience with a Godly message for the entire world. This movie is directed by the Mexican Film Maker John Urich Sass. An inspiring story.
Alain's book 'Status Anxiety' contains many of the great insights he shared in this talk. Absolute truth bomb. He presents with such humour! He inspires great hope.
I needed to hear this, I've been struggling with depression for more than seven months now and I am finally finding small amounts of motivation to better myself. I'm taking baby steps, but sometimes I will dwell back into my sadness, which is still hard to overcome. I am currently trying to sleep early each day, slowly but surely I will be okay...
Thank you for making and posting this (and the other SOL) video(s). I live in a third world country and have no access to mental health services - The School of Life videos has really helped me gain some insight into many aspects of my life and mental health challenges.
That's awesome. I live in a first-world country and have access to all the services, but these videos fill a gap in a special way. It's so important to know that we're not the only person feeling certain feelings and thinking certain thoughts.
*...would also like to add that a) not all of the options and services are effective; and b) living where those services are available, in this case, the US, also means living in a society that puts a lot of emphasis on being successful and also on appearing happy and like you're "winning" at life, which causes a lot of the anxiety and emotional unwellness here in the first place. So it's a catch-22.
S R I also really recommend a book called “The Untethered Soul” it really helped me with my negative thinking xx You can download it as part of a free trial on an App called “Scribdr” (and listen to it)
Wow, I'm so fortunate to live in a time where I have access to this type of thought inducing lecture, especially for free. I've been following their channel for a while and didn't know there was a book. it's definitely going to be the next book I read. This man is superb.
I would place my hands no this mans face and look him directly in his eyes and say, you are not an idiot, never deface yourself again like this. Mom instinct never dies.
Woah! I had NO idea Alain de Bottom was the person behind the voice / content of these videos!! I love his books so no wonder now why I love this channel - lovely discovery!
o0obeautifulwaveo0o me too. First time contact was 10years ago his book about the relationship he had (don’t know the name in English I am from taiwan )
Arohanui from New Zealand Alan, didnt realise you were the inspiration and voice behind School of Life.Thank you, been listening for a year and value your insights.
Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful speech with us! It has been raining non stop here all day, which is not very nice indeed...You feel like under house arrest. So I couldn't go out for a walk by the river, but this speech saved my Sunday! Being one of the 5 million students of TSOL here on youtube, I felt like this lesson summarised everything we have learnt from you over the last five years! Our beloved Alain is such a brilliant and inspiring thinker and educator! Certainly the person from whom I have learnt the most in my life. I loved so many insights from this lesson, but for me the most consoling one is this quote: " Melancholy is an elegant negotiation with tragedy". Listening to the part about our childhood, I remembered this friend of mine who fell from a bunk bed when he was 3 and got deaf on one ear. Now, 30 years later he is still deaf of course. Poor thing... But nobody would ask him: - Still damaged after 30 years? How come? So we all better be equally reasonable when we judge people who are disturbed creatures because of all the childhood traumata they had. If the damage were " visible" we would be much more compassionate. But we can still sensitize ourselves to perceive all the other signs that are there. In others and in ourselves. Once again, thank you so much for this wonderful speech and for everything you do for us!
The saying 'when the student is ready, the teacher appears' is so fitting for me today in coming accross Alain's work... I'm so grateful to have been led to this 😮
I believe he is the most beautiful human being with all his wisdom and gentle speech tone that sounds very understanding. Whenever life starts to slope upwards, I feel an urge to hear his voice talking like the ideal mom who will always understand and accept me.
This man should be considered one of the greatest philosophers of all time. He’s managed to summarize all of the great philosophers of the past, in addition to psychology, ancient Greece, Roman ideas, and many other subjects for us to apply in our daily lives. I honestly don’t believe you have a true education until you’ve seen all of the school of life videos. And they’re so wonderful to listen to or watch.
This is the wisest and most pleasant man I have ever encountered. I am very delighted to know that the voice behind The School of Life isn’t just a wonderful voice actor, he is embodying these lessons. Great work and deep bow 🙇 🙏
Such an enlightened being. I'm so grateful to be living in the same time frame as him. His books and the school of life have really benefited me in ways immeasurable to the basics learned in conventional education
Emotional well-being impacts every part of life. Failure to understand ourselves, our motivations, thoughts, behaviors, etc is a glaring omission in education. We spend hours learning so many useless facts but social-emotional education takes a backseat.
Your statement is accurate. Consider how many courses the public schools offer their students from k-12 in the area of self-love, self-awareness, and self-appreciation. Public schools' aim is to produce "good" slaves and robots, not greater contributors to a greater society. It's extreme capitalism at its worst.
This man has helped me SO MUCH. If you’re struggling and have had any long term trauma or a traumatic childhood please read ‘the body keeps the score’ it’s the only thing that ever made sense about trauma. Regular therapy is literally malpractice now that this information is out there. We don’t know SHIT about trauma yet and it’s time to usher in the new. Thank you for this talk it is life saving. The Stoics, learning about complex trauma, and this man right here have easily saved my life 💕
Grew up with his books since the beginning of my adolescence and I guess I’ve gained self awareness to a great extent thanks to him and I was able to really understand very basic concepts like love, sex, art, parenting.. 🙏🏻 lots of love from Turkey! Thanks for helping me to become who I am, which I appreciate quite a lot!
It's so easy to feel like you know all of these things and that going forward you'll be more humane, aware and compassionate until you actually get put in these situations yourself, be it a relationship or encounter of any kind. We all still subconsciously think that we are treating with perfect people in the best manner possible when in reality we don't and we never do. It's so easy to tell ourselves to rewire but it takes a lot more practice than we think.
I'm half way through the book now and it has helped me articulate really sound advice to a friend. She has taken this advice and has really overcome a hardship. I feel so grateful for this. Thank you
We are wired to survive or not.I seen individuals spend years in therapy and have not changed their behaviour or improved their lives in the slightest. So perhaps my views are biased. All I know is I would choice to buy myself a cottage than some mediocre therapist. My mind maximums my pleasure not someone else’s
@@susanrichard1653 Therapy only works if you understand that the problem is with you and you have to fix yourself. If you think the outside has to be fixed to suit you better, it does not matter how much hours you spend in therapy. And therapists in the West are becoming quite useless.
@@Alnivol666 in my circumstance, I was sexually victimized and harassed by the RCMP, federal and provincial government of Canadian. I was targeted by the WE project. The best choice is always to remove yourself from a dangerous environment. I am not a therapist but I know this much
Can't get enough of this guy.. am reading all of his wonderful books, as well.. Thank you Alain for filling the hours of this crises with the most fascinating information!
I love these talks. It exposes the humanity in our own mental states. I hate how people whom need help do not seek it because of labels (people who go to therapy are “crazy”) The more people speak up on their feeling the more people will realize the everyone has these emotions and we are all less alone then we truly feel.
The School of Life is one channel that has taught me way more than all my classes at school, Uni etc. combined and much more than any person, therapist or organisation ever did and I’m ever so grateful to Alain De Botton and his team for that. Also, always mind blown when I listen to him. Thank you from the bottom of my heart ❤️ You are the greatest treasure of our times
This guy is so right! And his project should not be called "self-help", it should be called "education"! And it is much more crucial and important than what we are taught at schools and universities!
I'm Australian, and I've read several of Alain's books, with great enjoyment. This talk is hugely entertaining! He is quintessentially English, in his view of the world. And his "we" is from a particular socio-cultural viewpoint that is exclusive, not inclusive. But thought provoking and for those of us who do not share his viewpoint, it certainly explains a lot!
I have a feeling that these videos have helped me more than years of psychoanalysis and substance abuse recovery program. Every time I feel stuck, one of these videos is able to do something I would compare to magic. Thanks! 😀
I was fortuitous enough to discover the works of Alain years ago & although we will most likely never meet he might have influenced my life more than anyone. I hope this makes him feel good sometimes.
Between Alan and the comments I've read, I belong here. Me and all my brokeness. But also, me and my sense of funny. Self awareness and willingness to grow without a need to take oneself seriously. 🙏🥴😛😎
Long overdue - needs to be part of every parenting and relationship course; - all school children, regardless of age, deserve to receive ongoing emotional education. The world would be a much better place.
Great talk all around, I thought the best/deepest part was about "the emotional rewards connected to the possession of material goods" , meritocracy and snobbery, the Ferrari joke, and "rigid, insufferable perfectionism"
Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Life! Psalm 139:16 tells us that our Creator wrote an individual “Book of our Destiny” before we were born. That’s where we find out purpose. It doesn’t take away all the doubts or questions, but it becomes a foundation to anchor our life to. The Bible is the most purchased book in the world, but the least read. Psalms are considered Praise songs and laments. Proverbs is the book of wisdom. The Gospels are the books of Jesus’ ministry on earth. Etc. Alain is a gifted speaker and really brings clarity to a lot of life’s conundrums. I enjoy listening, however I can’t separate my life from God or Christ. I do think listening to people who can add illumination to people’s problems and questions has merit. Blessings!
Then your avoiding being responsible ..feeling that sense of insecurity and then being able to understand it and do something for yourself .. Looking outside for help via religion is to easy the rules are too broad ..
He is just a joy to listen to. Articulate and funny and honest, and completely accessible. Very nice to hear in such crazy times. Thank you Alain, from Kentucky.
I have two Masters in both Psychology, and Philosophy.. A lot of money invested in education, but very little return on that kind of investment in those degrees.. Wonderful lecture! You are spot on here...
The School of Life. An incredibly interesting, very thought provoking, book. I keep it close to me and find myself dipping into various chapters often to reread advice on what is relevant to my present situation. I am a prolific reader of Self Help books, but this is on another level. I would never lend it to anyone for fear of not having it returned. It’s like a Bible to me. All I can add is if you don’t already have it, please rectify the situation.
Dear Alain, Thank you so much for this and other lectures. It has answered some of the most difficult questions we all face in our lives, and it has certainly helped me. I have struggling with these problems for years and come to similar conclusions. You have reinforced my ideas, how good! I think that everyone should read your book.
Late 40's discovering his channel... So calming with his deep insights and relaxing voice -- killer combo! Thank you for sharing your awesome brain and heart!
By far my favourite book. Thoughtful, self-aware, human and with the wisdom of thousands of years packed into very few, digestible, pages. It’s really a masterpiece and I make a point to try and re-read chapters on a regular basis.
![Lp. Сердце Вселенной #60 РОЖДЕНИЕ ЛОЛОЛОШКИ [Финал] • Майнкрафт](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/YoR0pAV9FVQ/mqdefault.jpg)
If you want to read the book on which this talk is based, click here: bit.ly/2mBpDN5
Done! Alain.
You sold me the book at the 9:06 Mark of this video. From homeless, almost menopausal with 3 college degrees 🇺🇸 USA, I thank you, for providing me with the much needed quality therapy, I temporarily cannot fit in my budget. Thanks!
How do you know I need this?? Anyway, thank you for the video 💜
If I were more selfish, I'd go to NYC to see you and Derren Brown while the two of you are there. Loved this presentation!
@Jack what part of the video are you referencing?
@Jack I watched the full version on UA-cam premium. It states "Democracy is the most perfect system of government ever invented. It’s also delivered some of the worst decisions ever made.". Given that election results can only be as good as how well informed the public are, it suggests citizens should demonstrate they are informed and responsible enough to be allowed to vote, and that this change itself should be decided democratically.
I wish I had a mini Alain to take around in my pocket and to talk sense to me when my emotions get out of control.
You do. It's called a phone and internet access :) (I know what you mean, though. It would be wonderful)
It's the mans books you're needing!
Literally a part of Alain that you can carry in your pocket! 💖
( _the Consolations of Philosophy_ is just fantastic from cover to cover. Full of humour, kindness and Truth! )
La 89998998998988988888898999
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El 9
I watch this literally every 2 months. Free therapy and world class stand up at the same time.
Me too!!
Whilst I agree with the sentiment, no content can replace therapy because it's a one-way conversation. If you have stuff that's negatively affecting your relationships or self-image, then therapy could still help
So do I! Sometimes even more often, depending on my emotional stability at the time🙂
I can't be the only one here to be blown away away by this man's self-awareness and command over language.
yes his philosophy is deep, makes you think, and his verbal delivery is extremely polished - very cool
Youre not🙂 and it makes him very attractive too
That's the way I speak with no training. Is there any opportunities out there? Get in touch for collaborations and exchange of ideas.
He does that thing where you can kind of mutter half a word and know the audience got it.
Agreed! He is masterful and he should travel westward!! It may drive him insane 🤣but the world could use his research and knowledge several times over. 🙌🏾 --- Watches til the end and hears he is coming to NY next week for 3 days!!😳
“The display of vulnerability is the only way to turn strangers into friends.” Man I felt that.
I don’t think I believe this. In my work, I’m constantly surrounded by associates who think I’m a loser. And I’m definitely not respected or liked because of it.
I suppose failure does make friends, but only between those who share in the humiliation of those who fail.
Yes, it's a good way to make yourself a target for scammers and even physical attacks. Also great for turning women off, except for those who just want to rip you off, that is.
@@Niven42 you also open yourself up to abuse by narcissists who see vulnerability as weakness and will wholeheartedly exploit you
.. and unfortunately the stream in which arseholes are masters of tapping into as well
I have done just this and find that somewhere along the lines it is used against me. I have given away too much of my power, so it is my fault. Once I learn I have had my vulnerability used against me, it only happens (3x just to make sure I'm not overreacting), and then I make sure it never happens again - even if it means a loss of friendship. But I do explain very calmly why I feel like this.
"Melancholy is not sadness or despair, nor is it rage, nor is it bitterness, its an elegant negotiation with tragedy. We live in a cruel world. I will tell you how cruel it is. One of the first questions that we face whenever we meet somebody new is "what do you do"? And according to how you answer that questions people are incredibly pleased to see you or a little bit fearful and just leave you alone. And you know that you are not going to get the respect, the kindness, the honor, that all of us crave, because you have not performed well enough in a very fast moving, very competitive capitalistic economy. "
Wow
dreamland009666 I disagree; I am in a vocational profession, I have not done well in monetary terms, I dislike and avoid competition but I have "earned" a lot of respect and affection over the years and most people seem to be genuinely pleased when they see me :-)
@@pertelote4526 the ones that know you respect you. If you were to leave the place where people approve and respect you, you would be welcomed with a questions sort of "what do you do?" And based on to the answer they would show interest in you or no interest at all. Its simple. If they have benefit they will show the interest. If no, well you know the answer.
@@dreamland-lw6ce I tend to think it is a bit more complicated; I have been abroad a couple of times and I have always managed to find "my tribe", namely people with similar interests and outlook on life. I do not know, of course, whether those people would stand by me in a time of crisis. I have always been judged on the basis of my knowledge and my willingness to help and support others, not on the size of my pocket or my looks. Perhaps I have been lucky, perhaps - as you claim - it is all about self-interest in the end. Cheers
This is shortly after 08:00.
He’s just blown me away with his words, humour, how down to earth he is… I have never learnt so much so lightly in my life. What a man!!
romantic
These kinds of videos deserve more views than music videos. Suicide and depression are at an all time high. Philosophy and psychology is what we all need to learn. Handling emotions should be a class subject.
I completely agree. I suffer from the ailments you mentioned, and have found strength to resist and overcome some of my darker desires through educating myself about the mind through videos like this one.
@@asap397 that's very good to hear. I think the first thing to do when faced with a problem is understanding the source or cause of it. Only then can we start finding a solution or a cure for it. We should stop the culture of just distracting ourselves with stimulants and self destructive behavior instead of facing the problem head on.
Alexis Nicole Flores yes it’s almost at a point where most people’s first instinct to solve some kind of pain or discomfort in their life is a medication or prescription. As if pain and discomfort were not meant to be a part of life.
Alexis Nicole Flores for example, I put a lot of time into trying to understand my self-harming/suicidal desires. I’ve made a lot of progress in my self improvement journey and have been told by some that I am their greatest friend and am an amazing, caring, compassionate person that this world is a better place because of. Yet, I still flirt with the darkness in my heart on a daily basis. Just that fact alone I find very interesting. Even despite all this counter evidence, I can still be intrigued by these dark actions. I hope as I continue my education and my own life I can better understand myself
Julian Colon 👏👏👏
Alain de Botton, "Melancholy is an elegant engagement with tragedy."
Beautifully said.
The School of Life has helped me so much since I discovered it a year ago. I have experienced so much cruelty and trauma in my life that it nearly killed me. I am on a journey of continuous improvement these days to overcome the horrors I have been through. The School of Life has become a valuable tool in my kit of resources to help me live a fulfilled life now and into the future.
Good luck
If you don 't mind be asking, What horrors did you have to overcome?
@@phillip76 I was married for 25 years to and emotionally abusive woman, she eventually got diagnosed with bipolar disorder but not until I ended the marriage. She wasn't like that when we first married.
I told her many times there was something wrong with her but she wouldn't do anything about it. I stuck it out because the woman I loved was buried inside the tyrant and would sometimes be allowed to come out. Also we had two lovely girls who I just could not leave knowing that the family court system would give my wife majority custody. I stayed to protect my kid's from her behaviour.
When I told my wife, in Sep 2010, that our marriage was over she threatened suicide so I got her to the doctors where she finally started treatment and therapy. All of a sudden her behaviour towards me completely changed and she couldn't be more attentive. She all of a sudden couldn't give me enough sex when previously pulling teeth was easier.
But I was determined to divorce because there was far too many bad experiences over the years. I just didn't love her anymore and actually told her, "It took you 25 years but you finally beat the love out of me." The best she was getting was friendship for the sake of our children.
Anyway after a few months and us living separately she took all her pills with wine and killed herself. I found her body as we were still in touch and I was helping her to get better for the sake of our children so we could still be some form of family. But the marriage was over and when she finally realised that there was no hope of reconciliation she did what she did in Aug 2011.
Things got worse after that for me. Two months later her elderly father who was in a nursing home, stopped eating after he learnt of his daughters death. He died of a severe lung complaint and I was with him in hospital when he took his last breath. He had wasted away from a broken heart.
Then six weeks after that my wife's brother committed suicide by burning the family home down with himself in it. I rushed to the hospital where the doctors came out and told me he was dead. Then the police asked me to identify his body which I did. By this stage I was truly punch drunk.
So after all that I plunged into a huge depressive hole and ended up with counselling and medication for the shock of the trauma I had gone through. I started to drink and smoke very heavily and many times nearly died myself. I was going through hell on earth. It's only the last couple of years that I have been able to get my life back. And yes time does heal but you have to go through the rings of fire first.
Now I am as happy as anyone can be and have been working very hard to repair the damage done to my health, my mind and my spirit.
@@samnitro
You had some really intense experience I see. Do you think this video is helpful for you? If so, I am curious why.
@@phillip76 Any video like this is good for me. Because I was so stunted in my emotional development I have been seeking material that helps me grow.
I started watching the school of life when I was 16. it really helped me understand my emotions and the behavior of other people. I was a very agressive and often frustrated teenager and at that moment hopelessly in love with a very abusive person. That was six years ago and I changed a lot. When you meet me today, you would say that I'm a very calm and always friendly person. It's a journey I'm on and your channel helped me a lot to start in a better, more accepting and peacefull direction in life. Thank's a lot for that!
That's wonderful!
Good on you.
I feel this is our graduation ceremony from all the videos we watched, we finally get to meet our leader.
again , you are away from yourself, not knowing what you are...
Sounds like you are part of an online cult, stay safe bro
@@fluffypineapple790 hahaha thanks!
I feel the same.
I love ❤️ this guy, my husband thinks he’s boring.
I could listen to him all day.
are you divorced yet?
Ditch hubby!
Oh I agree with you absolutely, he is wonderful. Just his voice alone makes me feel more reasonable.
Ha ... I do find it hard to believe anyone could find this man boring but that is one of the great things about us humans ... we are all different! 😁
He may be in a form of denial
Rewire your reward system ; stay away from materialistic narcissistic people take pleasure from peace and hobbies. Create a life you are comfortable with.
Peace , learning new things and skills ,pets and hobbies bring contentment and happiness.😀
Or embrace your anger and turmoil and use it to destroy the materialistic structures that surround you.
Amen
The problem is all people to a extend are "materialistic narcissistic people".
I prefer to call it snobbery.
Easier said than done.
Since discovering Alain's work and the School of Life I have watched and listened to this channel repeatedly, and still not sick of it. Great reminder for life's little trifles and like therapy in my comfy couch at home ... Love his body of work.
.... if he starts a church I would be signing up 😆
I'm going through a very hard time in my life and that's when I stumbled on the School of Life UA-cam channel, you have helped me a lot lately. Thank you
Same here!!
If you can get through it and sort yourself out, it will be worthwhile
Hes So Sarcastic, Blunt and Forward in the most Compassionate way. Thats how u master Tact!
Wait, there is a person behind the voice from the videos??!
Im pretty sure that's him
Yes it is. He makes most of the stuff for the channel.
Good morning
And beneath the person we find his nucleus.
@@DrSpooglemon A very handsome nucleus if I might say so
This is the best talk about philosophy I've seen from a stand-up comedian
Is he really comedian lol? Because wow he could actually pass as one too
Haha... right?! He's as funny as he is insightful. With perfect comedic timing.
This man is as brilliant as they come. Just a treasure to have in this world.
It's so fascinating listening to him. He knows so much of what he's saying. He's so verbally prepared and good for the ears.
He's so damn well-spoken.
Mazequax incredibly good speaker.
Puts the 90% of the best orators to shame.
Youre not falling in love, are you? 😱
No wonder he is called one of the best communicators and thinkers in the world. There are so many gold nuggets in his talks and he connected them so perfectly. I can listen to him over and over, and learn new things each time. What a deep and insightful analysis.
Alain de Botton , you are my emotions google , respect and love Alain
Hero worship.....think for yourself.
Bewarw...he is not God. Think for yourself
Alain always makes me laugh with his talks! The happy pessimist has such a good twisted sense of optimism.
I was just thinking the same things but I didn’t know how to put it into words. Who knew that pessimism and optimism could fit so well together.
Thank you for this comment lol hahaha…. I find myself pausing every 10 minutes just to laugh. He has such an intelligent way with words.
My parents were both dead by the time I was nineteen and I come from a hyper Christian extended family being the only woman who was not married at 18/19 and the only atheist (also the only college attendee, aside from mom and dad) Now I’m 21 and beating myself up for how much I should know better yet how tethered I still feel to the disapproval of people whose actions toward me I personally disapprove. The School of Life helps me deeply. Thank you for sharing your intellect with the world. It reaches the smallest corners, including the one that is me.
brooke you are not alone ❤️
Brooke - Having both parents die while you're still so young is very difficult and I'm sorry for your loss. At some point, you might've felt as though you had to face the world alone without any primary source of support/strength. It makes sense you would look to the family you have left, so try not to judge yourself for reflexively looking to them for approval or reassurance. I'm glad you're not alright with the negative ways they treat you, it shows that you believe you deserve better. You do. For one reason or another, many of us have found it necessary to create a family of sorts - a group of people we belong with. It isn't easy, but I feel confident you'll find your people. That you're here watching a video like this and able to articulate your struggles and feelings are features of a strong emotional foundation; an excellent start.
@@crowdedcrow3098 I cannot begin to express how grateful I am that you took time to express these utmost kind words. Thank you, so, so much.
You are still young enough to create the reality you desire. I’m 46 and I can comprehend the notion of regret
His theories should be in every curriculum of mental health education and therapy. After listening to him carefully, I am both feeling better about myself and wanting to continue improving myself. How powerful his talk is!!
It’s been a year , and I was wondering what have you done to establish this desire of intertwining his theology into curriculum?
@@theweridohassanit's fundamental to be aware of ourselves,❤ he is very dowñ to earth
We are taught integrals and derivatives in schools but have no understanding for how to handle life, being a human. Fortunately internet is there to fill that gap. I salute you Alain.
In all seriousness was that comment tinged with a wee bit o facetiousness or ??
Alain de Botton's insights changed my life significantly. It's good to have a living brilliant philosopher during these trying times.
"Trying to tell people that life is a perfect business that can be made ideal is one of the quickest ways to depress them. The best way to cheer anoyne up is to tell them that life is dificult for everyone. We suffer, all of us, alone, thinking we are massively unique in our sufferings : we're not. We are broken creatures" ; "you cannot become friends with any human being on the planet without showing a bit of yourself (vulnerability) which they could use against you" ; "A breakdown is a prelude to a breakthrough" ; "Love is a classroom : the point of love is to be able to teach and to learn. A good lover is a good educator and a good pupil" ; (about phychotherapists) "A friend can't fly the plane : you need a trained pilot" ; "No one needs perfection : we just need good enough" ; "To philosophise is to learn to die" ; "If we thought that everybody was immortal we could afford to be cruel and to be tough. On that basis we need urgently to forgive ourselves, to understand ourselves, to feel compassion for ourselves, and to extend some of that luxury towards others".
Thank you SoL !
Yes, I totally agree. So what do I do other than being emotional about it (may be a little angry).
Found my answer in the movie: GOD HAS ARRIVED ua-cam.com/video/STEta4Ll43s/v-deo.html
A beautiful story narrated by this father to his son (and to us the audience). He describes the current situations in the world today, and of the things that are about to come for all of humanity. An eye-opening experience with a Godly message for the entire world. This movie is directed by the Mexican Film Maker John Urich Sass. An inspiring story.
I really like this man! He's compassionately hilarious and I love it!
Should be mandatory watching for all human beings on the planet. Amazing
Nbd ever "changes" by watching a video, even if its a diamond like this one. They should psychotherapy them selves! And therefore heal their traumas.
@@wonderlidio 😢 LJ😊 C c
The more knowledge and experience you have with emotional maturity, the deeper you understand what he described. Such a great talk!
Alain's book 'Status Anxiety' contains many of the great insights he shared in this talk. Absolute truth bomb. He presents with such humour! He inspires great hope.
I cannot overstate how utterly fantastic this speech is. Incredible.
Every word that came out of this man’s mouth is pure wisdom. This should be played at schools or something
I needed to hear this, I've been struggling with depression for more than seven months now and I am finally finding small amounts of motivation to better myself. I'm taking baby steps, but sometimes I will dwell back into my sadness, which is still hard to overcome. I am currently trying to sleep early each day, slowly but surely I will be okay...
Hey! Wanted to check in? How are you? Did you manage to achieve the goals you set out for yourself?
Thank you for making and posting this (and the other SOL) video(s).
I live in a third world country and have no access to mental health services - The School of Life videos has really helped me gain some insight into many aspects of my life and mental health challenges.
That's awesome. I live in a first-world country and have access to all the services, but these videos fill a gap in a special way. It's so important to know that we're not the only person feeling certain feelings and thinking certain thoughts.
Same. I came from a developing country with inaccessible mental health programs. This channel helped me get through the tough times.
*...would also like to add that a) not all of the options and services are effective; and b) living where those services are available, in this case, the US, also means living in a society that puts a lot of emphasis on being successful and also on appearing happy and like you're "winning" at life, which causes a lot of the anxiety and emotional unwellness here in the first place. So it's a catch-22.
S R I also really recommend a book called “The Untethered Soul” it really helped me with my negative thinking xx You can download it as part of a free trial on an App called “Scribdr” (and listen to it)
Start one up
ALAIN DE BOTTOM YOU HAVE SAVED ALL LIFE ON THIS PLANET WITH YOUR PHILOSOPHY. YOU ARE A TRUE SAINT AND YOUR PHILOSOPHY IS THE TRUTH.
Wow, I'm so fortunate to live in a time where I have access to this type of thought inducing lecture, especially for free. I've been following their channel for a while and didn't know there was a book. it's definitely going to be the next book I read. This man is superb.
19:00 The room ignited with the topic of sharing our regret, shame, & sadness; people kept talking and laughing. Love hearing this.
This channel has changed my life
This man has changed my life. His books and talks are groundbreaking!
"life is short, and we are all idiots"...hahaha. I have found my new motto in life.
LOLOLOL 🤭😆😅
I would place my hands no this mans face and look him directly in his eyes and say, you are not an idiot, never deface yourself again like this. Mom instinct never dies.
@@susanrichard1653 You are a good Mom.
First time I've seen their face! Just loove his calming voice
His voice is a so soothing. I also love the videos with the child voice, very soothing and comforting for me.
Peterson's is more soothing
how many pearls of wisdom I LOVE THIS MAN!!!!!
Woah! I had NO idea Alain de Bottom was the person behind the voice / content of these videos!! I love his books so no wonder now why I love this channel - lovely discovery!
o0obeautifulwaveo0o me too. First time contact was 10years ago his book about the relationship he had (don’t know the name in English I am from taiwan )
Arohanui from New Zealand Alan, didnt realise you were the inspiration and voice behind School of Life.Thank you, been listening for a year and value your insights.
It's great to meet the man behind the voice. I've been so grateful for the refreshing kindness of his voice many times.
Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful speech with us! It has been raining non stop here all day, which is not very nice indeed...You feel like under house arrest. So I couldn't go out for a walk by the river, but this speech saved my Sunday!
Being one of the 5 million students of TSOL here on youtube, I felt like this lesson summarised everything we have learnt from you over the last five years! Our beloved Alain is such a brilliant and inspiring thinker and educator! Certainly the person from whom I have learnt the most in my life.
I loved so many insights from this lesson, but for me the most consoling one is this quote:
" Melancholy is an elegant negotiation with tragedy".
Listening to the part about our childhood, I remembered this friend of mine who fell from a bunk bed when he was 3 and got deaf on one ear. Now, 30 years later he is still deaf of course. Poor thing... But nobody would ask him:
- Still damaged after 30 years? How come?
So we all better be equally reasonable when we judge people who are disturbed creatures because of all the childhood traumata they had. If the damage were " visible" we would be much more compassionate. But we can still sensitize ourselves to perceive all the other signs that are there. In others and in ourselves.
Once again, thank you so much for this wonderful speech and for everything you do for us!
The saying 'when the student is ready, the teacher appears' is so fitting for me today in coming accross Alain's work... I'm so grateful to have been led to this 😮
This man is a genius thank God for people like him. He is truly enlightening
I believe he is the most beautiful human being with all his wisdom and gentle speech tone that sounds very understanding. Whenever life starts to slope upwards, I feel an urge to hear his voice talking like the ideal mom who will always understand and accept me.
This man should be considered one of the greatest philosophers of all time. He’s managed to summarize all of the great philosophers of the past, in addition to psychology, ancient Greece, Roman ideas, and many other subjects for us to apply in our daily lives. I honestly don’t believe you have a true education until you’ve seen all of the school of life videos. And they’re so wonderful to listen to or watch.
Alain...you rock! Thank you!
This is the wisest and most pleasant man I have ever encountered. I am very delighted to know that the voice behind The School of Life isn’t just a wonderful voice actor, he is embodying these lessons. Great work and deep bow 🙇 🙏
Such an enlightened being. I'm so grateful to be living in the same time frame as him. His books and the school of life have really benefited me in ways immeasurable to the basics learned in conventional education
Emotional well-being impacts every part of life. Failure to understand ourselves, our motivations, thoughts, behaviors, etc is a glaring omission in education. We spend hours learning so many useless facts but social-emotional education takes a backseat.
Your statement is accurate. Consider how many courses the public schools offer their students from k-12 in the area of self-love, self-awareness, and self-appreciation. Public schools' aim is to produce "good" slaves and robots, not greater contributors to a greater society. It's extreme capitalism at its worst.
Self development should be deemed the root of all, by every man. - Confucius
This man has helped me SO MUCH. If you’re struggling and have had any long term trauma or a traumatic childhood please read ‘the body keeps the score’ it’s the only thing that ever made sense about trauma. Regular therapy is literally malpractice now that this information is out there. We don’t know SHIT about trauma yet and it’s time to usher in the new. Thank you for this talk it is life saving. The Stoics, learning about complex trauma, and this man right here have easily saved my life 💕
Grew up with his books since the beginning of my adolescence and I guess I’ve gained self awareness to a great extent thanks to him and I was able to really understand very basic concepts like love, sex, art, parenting.. 🙏🏻 lots of love from Turkey! Thanks for helping me to become who I am, which I appreciate quite a lot!
Come here every start of a new year as a reminder 😌
It's so easy to feel like you know all of these things and that going forward you'll be more humane, aware and compassionate until you actually get put in these situations yourself, be it a relationship or encounter of any kind. We all still subconsciously think that we are treating with perfect people in the best manner possible when in reality we don't and we never do. It's so easy to tell ourselves to rewire but it takes a lot more practice than we think.
Thanks!
This guy is just great ! so clear, so well documented, clever and lucid ... I could listen to him for hours ...
Alain de Botton has a great voice and a very impressive way of bringing forward a message fluently and accuratly without hesitating.
Thank you !
Also I love his sense of humour.
Thank you, Mr. de Botton. Your School of Life is full of wit + knowledge + (un)common sense + humour = surprising results! ✨✨✨💫
He is one of the smartest men! So happy to have found The School of Life!
I'm half way through the book now and it has helped me articulate really sound advice to a friend. She has taken this advice and has really overcome a hardship. I feel so grateful for this. Thank you
Bravoooo!!
We are wired to survive or not.I seen individuals spend years in therapy and have not changed their behaviour or improved their lives in the slightest. So perhaps my views are biased. All I know is I would choice to buy myself a cottage than some mediocre therapist. My mind maximums my pleasure not someone else’s
@@susanrichard1653 Therapy only works if you understand that the problem is with you and you have to fix yourself. If you think the outside has to be fixed to suit you better, it does not matter how much hours you spend in therapy. And therapists in the West are becoming quite useless.
@@Alnivol666 in my circumstance, I was sexually victimized and harassed by the RCMP, federal and provincial government of Canadian. I was targeted by the WE project. The best choice is always to remove yourself from a dangerous environment. I am not a therapist but I know this much
Can't get enough of this guy.. am reading all of his wonderful books, as well.. Thank you Alain for filling the hours of this crises with the most fascinating information!
A great lectrure 😂
I love these talks. It exposes the humanity in our own mental states.
I hate how people whom need help do not seek it because of labels (people who go to therapy are “crazy”)
The more people speak up on their feeling the more people will realize the everyone has these emotions and we are all less alone then we truly feel.
I love this man, and i wish i could've known him sooner
I would have never been able to articulate my feelings and thoughts about relationships this way. Perfectly summed up.
The School of Life is one channel that has taught me way more than all my classes at school, Uni etc. combined and much more than any person, therapist or organisation ever did and I’m ever so grateful to Alain De Botton and his team for that. Also, always mind blown when I listen to him. Thank you from the bottom of my heart ❤️ You are the greatest treasure of our times
This guy is so right! And his project should not be called "self-help", it should be called "education"! And it is much more crucial and important than what we are taught at schools and universities!
One of my favourite humans ❤❤❤ thank you Alain.
I don’t even understand every word that he says but i can hear him for hours non-stop. It is sort of therapy itself!
This is where I found my therapy. Thank you "School of Life"
This man is phenomenal!
Allen de Bottom, listened to him for years. A very informative intelligent man and he does it with humor. Thank you ❤️
"The best cure for love is knowledge! " ahahahah! Top!!! Thank you so much for this!!!!!
I'm Australian, and I've read several of Alain's books, with great enjoyment. This talk is hugely entertaining! He is quintessentially English, in his view of the world. And his "we" is from a particular socio-cultural viewpoint that is exclusive, not inclusive. But thought provoking and for those of us who do not share his viewpoint, it certainly explains a lot!
Summer Donna
I have a feeling that these videos have helped me more than years of psychoanalysis and substance abuse recovery program. Every time I feel stuck, one of these videos is able to do something I would compare to magic.
Thanks! 😀
I was fortuitous enough to discover the works of Alain years ago & although we will most likely never meet he might have influenced my life more than anyone. I hope this makes him feel good sometimes.
I could listen to this guy speaking for 48 hours straight and still ask for more at the end.
Between Alan and the comments I've read, I belong here. Me and all my brokeness. But also, me and my sense of funny. Self awareness and willingness to grow without a need to take oneself seriously. 🙏🥴😛😎
I am 14 years old and read The School Of Life Emotional Education...I might be underage but it changed my life for the better ☁️ thanks Alain
That's really good man. Keep going. You can do it. And you will be so thankful later in life you did this early 😊
Long overdue - needs to be part of every parenting and relationship course; - all school children, regardless of age, deserve to receive ongoing emotional education. The world would be a much better place.
Great talk all around, I thought the best/deepest part was about "the emotional rewards connected to the possession of material goods" , meritocracy and snobbery, the Ferrari joke, and "rigid, insufferable perfectionism"
I think i feel like we both are lost and trying to take control and make sense of life which became somewhat purposeless along the way.
Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Life! Psalm 139:16 tells us that our Creator wrote an individual “Book of our Destiny” before we were born. That’s where we find out purpose. It doesn’t take away all the doubts or questions, but it becomes a foundation to anchor our life to. The Bible is the most purchased book in the world, but the least read. Psalms are considered Praise songs and laments. Proverbs is the book of wisdom. The Gospels are the books of Jesus’ ministry on earth. Etc.
Alain is a gifted speaker and really brings clarity to a lot of life’s conundrums. I enjoy listening, however I can’t separate my life from God or Christ. I do think listening to people who can add illumination to people’s problems and questions has merit. Blessings!
@@eileencarlson1474
no, thank you.
Times?
Then your avoiding being responsible ..feeling that sense of insecurity and then being able to understand it and do something for yourself .. Looking outside for help via religion is to easy the rules are too broad ..
I'm so thankful to understand the English language and be able to experience this.
“Elegant negotiation with tragedy” Perfect 👌
He is just a joy to listen to. Articulate and funny and honest, and completely accessible. Very nice to hear in such crazy times. Thank you Alain, from Kentucky.
I wish I'd had a father like this, I'm seriously envious of Samuel
What a joy to share the planet with such a glorious human spirits as of Alain de Botton! Thank you for finally allowing us to be humans
I have two Masters in both Psychology, and Philosophy.. A lot of money invested in education, but very little return on that kind of investment in those degrees.. Wonderful lecture! You are spot on here...
The School of Life. An incredibly interesting, very thought provoking, book. I keep it close to me and find myself dipping into various chapters often to reread advice on what is relevant to my present situation. I am a prolific reader of Self Help books, but this is on another level. I would never lend it to anyone for fear of not having it returned. It’s like a Bible to me. All I can add is if you don’t already have it, please rectify the situation.
He's just marvelous! Amazing speech!❤✌
the most soothing voice I've ever heard
Dear Alain, Thank you so much for this and other lectures. It has answered some of the most difficult questions we all face in our lives, and it has certainly helped me. I have struggling with these problems for years and come to similar conclusions. You have reinforced my ideas, how good! I think that everyone should read your book.
Late 40's discovering his channel... So calming with his deep insights and relaxing voice -- killer combo! Thank you for sharing your awesome brain and heart!
Remarkable insights … simply love listening to this man. So much wisdom shared so eloquently and humorously…
By far my favourite book. Thoughtful, self-aware, human and with the wisdom of thousands of years packed into very few, digestible, pages. It’s really a masterpiece and I make a point to try and re-read chapters on a regular basis.
This is so therapeutic, honest to god one of the best channels out there.