Until You Learn These 3 Life Lessons, Finding Joy & Meaning Is Impossible... | Alain de Botton

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  • Опубліковано 21 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 69

  • @theschooloflifetv
    @theschooloflifetv День тому +43

    What an honour to be a part of this episode, thank you.

    • @arieprasetyo1175
      @arieprasetyo1175 23 години тому +4

      Thank you so much, Alain. Thought provoking and insightful. 👍

    • @coralrose6068
      @coralrose6068 20 годин тому +3

      Thank you Alan, I've really missed all your wisdom, I'm subscribed, with notification, but it doesn't come through...You nail everything, so concise, you truly are inspiring.
      I'm going to try to listen to this podcast regular and more of your episodes, regular (routine) for mental health

    • @tonyburton419
      @tonyburton419 4 години тому

      Your assertion that mental illness has a causative link with deficits in parental love is one incredibly misinformed and the most utterly stupid l have heard for since Trumps last words.

    • @evadebruijn
      @evadebruijn 3 години тому +1

      ​@@tonyburton419 This just a criticism offloaded and not counter argumenting him.
      In other words, not convincing.

  • @CHPCHPCHP123
    @CHPCHPCHP123 10 годин тому +3

    These two men are simply wonderful, wise, honest and definitely not run of the mill!!! About 30 years ago there was a meta-study on medical doctors‘ interventions. 7-10% was scientifically based, the rest intuition and practice …

  • @sueramsay9826
    @sueramsay9826 6 годин тому +2

    What a delight to wake up today to this!
    Two of my fav people together discussing mental health
    Thankyou both for all the work you do to try to help us cope with this crazy world
    You certainly have made this a fulfilling day for me 😂❤

  • @Soranjaboom
    @Soranjaboom 15 годин тому +6

    Will read anything this Alain de Botton guy has to say. Took away loads. Many thanks 🙏

    • @rafael55
      @rafael55 12 годин тому +1

      Me too !

    • @minibeach
      @minibeach 6 годин тому +1

      His books are so good and you hear his voice as you read.

  • @Dobermanmomma
    @Dobermanmomma День тому +13

    The last surely are first now. I used to struggle with depression before it was mainstream. Now, I have healed and have not been depressed in over 10 years. There is a way out. It mostly comes from a healthy lifestyle and taking control of your mind. Do not do antidepressants whatever you do.

  • @gioponti6359
    @gioponti6359 11 годин тому +2

    “I am advocating a philosophy of cheerful pessimism” - :) this is great 😊

  • @JamesIbe
    @JamesIbe День тому +7

    Dr. Rangan, you are on fire with these guests. This current of self analysis and holistic development is really nurturing. It's hitting me at a pivotal moment of my life. Thank you!

  • @TimeSkipChapters
    @TimeSkipChapters День тому +25

    ⏱️ Timestamps by TimeSkip ⏱️
    00:00:00 - Mental Well-Being Crisis
    00:02:10 - Love as Essential for Development
    00:05:25 - Emotions Governed by Habits
    00:14:43 - Lessons from Religious Practices
    00:18:31 - Nature's Role in Well-Being
    00:20:51 - Coping with Tragedy through Faith
    00:24:01 - The Importance of Death Awareness
    00:27:44 - Pessimism vs. Optimism Discussion
    00:35:33 - Changing Emotional Responses
    00:39:32 - Expectations vs. Reality
    00:43:19 - Perfectionism and Its Impact
    00:47:01 - Melancholy and Maturity
    00:58:20 - The Role of Childhood in Adult Life
    01:00:38 - Childhood Trauma and Disassociation
    01:03:50 - The Journey of Self-Knowledge
    01:06:38 - Self-Sabotage and Past Influences
    01:09:04 - Corrective Experiences in Therapy
    01:11:18 - Therapy as an Art, Not a Science
    01:19:56 - The Role of Journaling in Self-Discovery
    01:22:23 - Communion with Yourself
    01:25:14 - Effective Communication in Relationships
    01:33:28 - Teaching and Learning in Relationships
    01:38:03 - The Two-Chair Exercise
    01:40:12 - Therapeutic Power of Voice Messages
    01:42:50 - Finding Self-Reflection in Motion
    01:45:10 - Exploring Life Choices and Regrets

  • @upendasana7857
    @upendasana7857 День тому +5

    Great coversation,I heard Jane Fonda say once "be interested rather than try to be interesting"...I think what Alain said about how often we can feel as if we have nothing to say or worth hearing because the company we are in does not show interst or curiostiy towards us,we ar generally not good at listening to one another or being curious about one another unless we are trying to sus someone out so we can out them ina box of some kind or have some agenda but just open questioning is something rare.

  • @Rezzeh
    @Rezzeh 17 годин тому +3

    27:27 “Everything worth doing unbalances your life”. Very true !

  • @StevenGrant_Photographer
    @StevenGrant_Photographer День тому +8

    Gold level episode.
    Absolute home run.

  • @juliegillies6688
    @juliegillies6688 День тому +2

    Thank you so much gentlemen ❤❤❤😊

  • @sarahdavis3223
    @sarahdavis3223 17 годин тому +3

    Each second of this episode contained something valuable. You are delivering the best to us Dr. C' ❤

  • @imbolc8024
    @imbolc8024 День тому +7

    Alain is great, wise and humoristic, his experience is amazing (description above), and thank you alot for this valuable talk.

    • @tonyburton419
      @tonyburton419 23 години тому

      ​@@imbolc8024 Experience of actually working within the mental health field do you mean? One foolish and misinformed comment

    • @imbolc8024
      @imbolc8024 13 годин тому

      @@tonyburton419 part of it yes, mental health (in many cases of people, like mine) has several 'reasons' or there are so many therapys (that no doctor ever told me about), and i had to figure it out myself, i'm very grateful for every kind caring person who can bring us any info to get our lives on track.

  • @StevenGrant_Photographer
    @StevenGrant_Photographer День тому +8

    putting this on loop

  • @joycemiller1935
    @joycemiller1935 9 годин тому +2

    Journalling can be 100% better than sitting around and ruminating with a therapist about your problems.
    You don’t need to be brilliant average intelligence can do this

  • @olivepostma6874
    @olivepostma6874 День тому +2

    The 10 Commandments say 6 days u work the 7th u rest. 10 Commandments is excellent psychology.

  • @francesbernard2445
    @francesbernard2445 5 хвилин тому

    These days some people seem to like taking offense more often. That is a kind of habit too. Like when feeling offended after finding out that granny still likes to dance. With someone they have not pre-approved by them as her dance partner first. Or when a man feels offended when any woman there asks him for a dance too while he isn't a father or a grandpa too. I felt delighted when my father in law asked me to dance too at my wedding to his son. No one seemed offended about that kind of thing too back then. I didn't need any help to decide if I should dance with a married deacon at the time who was over 20 years older than me at the time.

  • @user-kn1po5ig8p
    @user-kn1po5ig8p День тому +2

    Looking forward, I love him!

    • @tonyburton419
      @tonyburton419 23 години тому

      @@user-kn1po5ig8p How can you *love" someone you do not know or have any personal interaction?

    • @mel-tp5hi
      @mel-tp5hi 6 годин тому

      ​@@tonyburton419gosh that's an easy question. Loving is when your heart gets excited about anything.

  • @juliesmith4539
    @juliesmith4539 15 годин тому +1

    No religion is a way of manipulating and believe me I was manipulated as a child now have cptsd and trying to deal with how much the manipulating has affected me as an adult

  • @adunzoroq33
    @adunzoroq33 День тому +3

    Ouu one to re-listen many times over! :)

  • @catherineadair5677
    @catherineadair5677 19 годин тому

    Thank you

  • @peterefkarpidis9568
    @peterefkarpidis9568 День тому +3

    Absolutely gold, big help for me at the moment 🙏

  • @shilpac5032
    @shilpac5032 8 годин тому +1

    i like rangan why does he have such less subscribers

  • @willemvanriet7160
    @willemvanriet7160 День тому +3

    I recognise thia voice!

  • @lorralorra222
    @lorralorra222 9 годин тому

    Dr pls do a poll on how many people would watch if it was a little less long, thank you

    • @mel-tp5hi
      @mel-tp5hi 6 годин тому

      I listen to them on a faster speed, 1.25 or even sometimes 1.5 speed, and put the captions and tapescript up too.

  • @caroledrury1411
    @caroledrury1411 День тому +1

    It was so insightful when the mention of solitude is enhanced by another person. I am still trying to sort out my own solitude and Hermitage.

  • @hansreitz3881
    @hansreitz3881 День тому +6

    I would let Alain read me to sleep every night

  • @janecallahan2340
    @janecallahan2340 День тому +3

    What a fascinating podcast. Thank you Alain de Bottom for discussing your ideas and vast knowledge on this topic about mental health. I would love to learn and/or practice how to change my impulsive behavior, in order to find more joy and balance in my life for myself and to help my family.
    I needed to hear all of this, and I am grateful to have tuned in. I am crazy!

  • @jeremyc2445
    @jeremyc2445 День тому +1

    What's first, the thought or the feeling?

  • @ParadoxalDream
    @ParadoxalDream День тому

    17:32 Quebec puts a dent in this theory. It is by far the most secular province in Canada (or even the most secular State on the entire American continent, for that matter), and yet it has the best levels of mental health in the country thanks to its more egalitarian society modeled after North European social democraties. The Canadian Mental Health Association published a report just yesterday detailing all of this.

  • @rafael55
    @rafael55 12 годин тому

    What a smart guy. I believe attachment theory is so important and so few know about it. He’s so centered and clear, I will try and learn more from him. Great interview !

    • @tonyburton419
      @tonyburton419 4 години тому

      Yeah sorry those who do know about it can state that although significant, it is NOT at all as much as he claims.

  • @julieharris6095
    @julieharris6095 15 годин тому

    Ricky gervais embodies the notion of melancholy as described by Alain 😂

  • @mellygator73
    @mellygator73 17 годин тому

    Im half way through and am absolutely loving this ❤

  • @boryanaivanova8951
    @boryanaivanova8951 16 годин тому

    A very insightful conversation, I've learnt a lot from it. Thank you so much. ❤

  • @wiliame
    @wiliame День тому +2

    okey.. some intresting points of views... some truths and some possible truth and some possible lies.... seem to be one of thoes times when you shouldnt just swallow everythign you hear... even thou life would be easier if one just did.... i love when you have people over that make you think and have to be critically thinking and stuff!"! so tumbs up from me!!
    my motto : "life is always a dance on roses. you just need to watch out for the thorns!"
    and if you fall of the rose petals, the thorns might make it easier for you to climb up ;)

  • @sandraevans6066
    @sandraevans6066 13 годин тому +1

    I do not believe in sweeping statements - generalisation labels and pigeon holes. Science it seems tends to follow these rules. Please consider all the areas in between. It is never that simple or straightforward. Thank you

  • @amemabastet9055
    @amemabastet9055 День тому

    In many ways politics has taken the role of religion, but it seems more and more people are feeling unfulfilled by politics. Democracy is the "faith", but it is empty because we lack democratic structures and functions. Democracy gives us rights but not the tools to use these rights in a meaningful way. We were given freedoms but school never bothered to teach what these freedoms and rights imply.

  • @mountainside26
    @mountainside26 День тому +1

    It’s a disservice and entirely simplistic to state that all mental illness has at its core a shortfall of attuned love. There are so many mental conditions that have highly complex physiological, biological as well as psychological components- it’s just not helpful for people to make such blanket statements.

    • @evadebruijn
      @evadebruijn 3 години тому

      That is not what he is saying.
      Plenty people seeking therapy are unhappy. Not being psychotic or paranoid or both or some other DSM approved pathology.

  • @jillrodgers7031
    @jillrodgers7031 День тому

    Talks tooo fast

    • @Wendyj55
      @Wendyj55 День тому +1

      You can slow the speed of the video down

  • @kristinmeyer489
    @kristinmeyer489 День тому +2

    Gangstalking doesn't help anyone.

  • @RinEss-w3z
    @RinEss-w3z 6 годин тому

    The worse violent behaviour is done by Islamic people and other believers , now!!! So how you explain this reality ?

    • @Ditto463
      @Ditto463 2 години тому

      Being religious doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a good person or a good parent

  • @joycemiller1935
    @joycemiller1935 9 годин тому

    The more I listen to him, the more irritated I become.
    He actually responds to his sons and happiness like a therapist that is he’s using his head and his mind rather than his heart.
    100% sure his son can feel the difference.

    • @Ditto463
      @Ditto463 2 години тому

      I think you’ve entirely missed the point. I 100% know this