Why Do We Keep Doing This?
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- Опубліковано 5 лип 2020
- I know I often share the quote, “comparison is the thief of joy” and that’s because it’s true. Give it time to sink in, comparison is the thief of joy. If we look out at what someone else has and make assumptions about them and in turn judgements about ourselves we will never feel good. There will always be someone who looks better, makes more, has more, does more, whatever. Someone else’s success or happiness doesn’t have to take away from our own. By comparing our life or body or whatever to someone else’s we give away all of the power we have to make ourselves happy. As a reminder we are the only ones that can make us happy, yes, I know, it sucks, but it’s true. We can’t count on other people to do our internal work for us, we have to make choices every day that build our own happiness. If we wait for someone else to do it, we will be waiting forever.
I'm Kati Morton, a licensed therapist making Mental Health videos!
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Olá Kati!!! Please see this. I love your videos I am a huge fan. But i feel sad i Can't share this videos with my folks, that's cause they don't know english, but these videos are so important and needed for everyone that i just wish there were legends for portuguese. If you don't have the time to make it, I can translate it for you. I wouldn't feel comfortable posting ur videos with portuguese language on my chanel. But if u need a translator I am totally here for you. I just want my friends and family to understand the amazing words you share with us. Thank u.
Olá Nc! Thank you for the kind message and offer to translate. Here is a video with information for you on how you can help :) ua-cam.com/video/cQW2wMf8dEE/v-deo.html
@@Katimorton Muito obrigada
@@naarastefanecostamenezes1192 Um eterno obrigado
@@miltonkitadanidasnevesjuni4811 😍
"if you want to compare yourself with someone else, compare everything, not only the good" - my piece of wisdom ✌🏻😗
I love that!! Thank you so much for sharing!! xoxo
I love this. If comparing, compare everything or nothing at all 💜
What if I was much higher on the scale of attractiveness then you? Would that mean that you were not prity no if you were prity you would still be prity? I think a lot of times we forget that something is good just because something else is better.
Very true, will remember this!
Wow. That hit hard. I think I've been coming around to that in my own way, but when stated as simply as that...Thank you!
“Always compare yourself to who u were yesterday not today” is my fav quote
Yes!! love it :) xoxo
Monday’s gotta be the best day of the week cause Kati’s apart of it ❤️❤️
Awe xoxoxo
Comparing myself to others is one of my biggest flaws, I’m always chasing standards I can’t achieve
Admir Barucija hi how are you doing good comment you wrote I myself always think about or worry about what other people have that I don't have or what other people do that I haven't done always good to come to kati s video s and have a firmiler name and someone I have talked to a couple of times 🙂
I'm agreeing with both of you. It's that old quote of keeping up with the Smith's and the Jones's
Mark Twain said "Comparison is the death of joy." That has a sense of finality to it, though. At least if your joy is stolen, you can always find a way to make more and guard it closer against being stolen again. Even if you are stealing from yourself.
I love that Raymond.. thank you so much for sharing! xoxo
@@Katimorton I knew the "J word" was coming before you said it!! I keep a small one in my day pack, so I can jot things down during the day, before I have a chance to forget anything. Great idea, huh?!
@LLL LLL what
That’s why I stay the hell off of Facebook.
It really is toxic.
And Twitter! Twitter is just a cesspool of negativity these days.
So do I.
Yasss! Same.
Me too! I deactivated mine in May and I'm soooo glad I did.
stopppp I didn’t think this video would make me cry & feel all the things
we love kati for that ;)
Comparison is the thief of joy. Thank you for sharing this message!
Kati being smart and sensible
Me COMPARING the comments others made and deciding mine is silly to make.
Story of my life.
Thank you for making a difference in this world. Thank you for always saying "us". Having postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome I lay down a lot and enjoy listening to positive people who are compassionate, helpful, wise, and very knowledgable.
Right on time. I needed this; I've been having trouble with comparison and worrying and feeling unhappy about feeling like I won't live up to what another person is like or doing (or did), and it's not helping me and not necessary, and I just hope I can stop.
Good advice I got. Don’t compare yourself to other people because we don’t all start from the same starting point. Don’t think about what you should have achieved, but what you have achieved despite the difficulties
I like how the colours on your blouse match most of the ones that are in the painting behind you. Thanks for the supportive video!
"We are the only ones who can make ourselves happy... We cannot count on other people to do our internal work for us. We have to make choices every day that build our own happiness."
You often have amazing nuggets of knowledge and wisdom but this one is HUGE! The work has to take place everyday, until it no longer feels like work and becomes a lifestyle.
Thank you so much!
It constantly amazes me how much I get out of your videos, since almost always, I start just to learn something, and leave with knowledge and work to do. Thank you.
It is really remarkable that the more conscious a person is, the less comparisons he makes
I’ve noticed that doing gratitude excercises in my journal prevents me from “running the numbers”..Also I need to pay more attention to the “cravings”..Once again another great video, I get something from each one of these.
Your old videos were not cringey at all! They were the best resource on UA-cam at the time and you have just grown and given us even more and better resources over the years! You definitely helped me during my ed recovery back in the day and your content has just got better and better ❤️ sending love! Xx
I love the suggestion to compliment yourself and others whenever you compare. I think this is going to make me feel a lot better. Thank you!
Whoop whoop 🙌 another 10 minutes of my life we’ll spent!!!! Thanks Kati for your inspirational and motivational video kept me going through a tough work out session 🏋️♀️ 💕x
Awe yay!! Of course :) xoxoxo
Kati Morton 💕x
I haven't been watching your videos for a few days and fortunately I clicked on this one, and I can confirm your videos are always very soothing to me. This one was indeed very useful sum up and reminder of a healthy mindset. Thanks!
I know this is the same for everyone, but your videos are like you are talking directly to me sometimes. I love that it helps me so much, I get excited about trying the new things you ask us to try, They Work! Thank you again Kati!
Awe yay! I am so glad the videos and tips I offer are helpful & work!! yay!! And you are very welcome :) Happy to help! xoxo
These kind of topics are very interesting to me. Some people just love food because of the dopamine high it gives. Your brain also works to please it's self, even if it's not the right thing for you. It kinda works as a computer and works in 1's and 0's. 1 is going for the dopamine high and 0 is this is bad don't do it. I would be intrigued for you to talk about this is some way. Our brain is always looking for the next dopamine high and it's how people get addicted to games, food, porn, social media, etc. Anyways loved the video! Hope you will touch on this in the future.
I don't know how I feel about giving into cravings when all I want is to end them. I'd love nothing more than the cravings to go away.
I only compete or compare myself to myself now. Can’t say I was always that way. Glad I have come to this place of unconditional love for myself and for others. Thanks Kati for your wisdom.
Good to see you again, I benged 4 years of your show in 3 weeks. Then suffered from withdrawals.
People say that we shouldn't compare, but most of my waking experience is spent in comparison with others my age, and with the person I believe I should have become. Regardless of the advice people put out, I always feel down about myself and my lack of accomplishment or experience.
Thanks anyway Kati
That is a little sad, but I have to admit that I am the same way. I've been made to feel that I can't be who I really am. The real me is not acceptable. I'm 48 freaking years old and I don't feel like I should have to feel this way. I must be in with the wrong crowd. I don't really know, but I'm not liking it. If you are much younger than me, you definitely have time to change your friends and outlook on life. Wishing you the best 🙏🙏🙏
It helps me to remind myself that I can worry about it then I'll die. So will everyone else. Keeping the short time frame in mind helps me choose what's worth caring about. Most things aren't.
This doesn't immediately fix things, but it helps and over time you can train yourself to think about things this way.
@@Meechy37 I can't think that way, I feel anxiety that I'm running out of time
Thank you for continuing to save lives with your content. I truly believe that you have saved lives with your videos. God Bless you. Love ya :)
Thank you for your videos Kati!! I originally found you while searching for UA-cam content on both OCD and OCPD of which I have both, and have been watching you here and there for over two years now. You are very gifted at what you do. Love the quote, "Comparison is the thief of joy." So true. Its taken time, but i have learned to be thankful for what I do have. Again, thanks for your videos that are always encouraging and uplifting rather than judgmental and depressing! :)
I agree. I am depressed and I compare all the time and get more depressed. 54 years old and still alone.
Based on the psychology I've learned, I would say three things relevant to this video:
1. Self-awareness is the first step to positive change. That includes stuff like being aware of what you're thinking and feeling, what triggers those feelings, what actions are evoked, and so on.
2. Living authentically means living by our Values. It's important to learn what they are, and then examine them. Values can often contradict one another. They are often imposed on us during our upbringing or by our perception of societal pressure. Finding and living by our true Values is a powerful path to pursue.
3. The word "should" -- and all its subtle variations -- is a dangerous thing. When I think "should" about myself, I have to ask, "Where is this coming from? Does it align with my Values?" When I think "should" about other people, I'm putting a Claim on them that will lead to disappointment 9 times out of 10. Claims are subtle and destructive, both to ourselves (eg: yelling at a driver who can't hear you anyway upsets just one person), and to our relationships (eg: that person isn't my friend unless they behave the way I think they *should*).
Kati always says: “don’t should on yourself”
I am not sure if other people experience this but I think an unspoken rule a lot of people follow is to apologize for EVERYTHING! This week I am going to stop doing this and only apologize when it is necessary
Kati has a great video on this! ua-cam.com/video/3fCdT-EGUEc/v-deo.html
UA-cam + Kati = Great video Brilliant advice for everyone!
Thank you for this video. I had to stop going to therapy bc of an insurance change. But I’ll be doing an online session with her tmrw, now that I can afford the non-coverage price. I was very nervous to start therapy again, but this video made me excited to get my life back :) so thank you.
You got this!! ❤️👍
I watched this video at least 10 times because you make a lot of good points. You are so good at what you do and you can tell that you aren't just doing it because it's your job but rather because you care about other people's mental wellbeing.
I love her soo much
She helps my so much❤❤❤
ditto!!!
Awe I am so glad :) xoxo
I'm glad you did this! I feel like a lot of people don't realise the importance of going over your previous work and making sure that it's up-to-date with your current knowledge and beliefs etc
this was one of the most helpful videos you’ve made that i’ve watched! thank you Kati!! also i love the way you say bye and wave it’s so cute 🥺
I always take small notes when I watch your videos 😁 Thank you Kati!
Hi Kati Morton this is very true your very right. In in-patient treatment for my eating disorder if we put ourselves down with words we had to say three put up to ourselves. I think this tool really helps me.
Perfect Kati. I love this Recovery Record app. Exactly what I needed. Great video so timely.
Yassss I was literally waiting for you to upload you’re a queen!!!!
Awe yay!! I hope you enjoyed the new video :) xoxo
This video is so helpful. I’m struggling with all these things, and I have been since I fell off a cliff over four years ago. I feel like this is extra important for me, because you published this on my four-year anniversary of not dying, despite all odds!
These Monday morning Kati videos are fantastic, best way to start the week.
yay!! xoxo
Ditto!
I think the titles arent as helpful anymore (this video for example could be about anything). I really like the content tho ❤
This is me everyday. I'm not married, I'm too fat, I'll never be happy, etc
You don’t have to be married to be happy.You don’t have to be thin to be happy. There are people who’re have both of these adjectives and are still unhappy. It all depends on you as a person and how you follow your passions, being authentic and forgiving towards yourself.
Man I was hoping you’d talk about math hahahaha 😂
hahaha! Never!! lol!
Yoro Kumat I learned the 100 digits of pi song hahahaha #nerd
Yeah, same here. I may still be learning to calculate mentally at 24, but I totally see the beauty of Maths ^^
I do this compare myself, think I'm not good enough, etc.. thanks Kati, you remind me that I need to stop harder then it seems, but I will try. 💜
Kati, thank you so much for posting today. I appreciate you for keeping me on my toes! I needed to hear this.
Awe of course!! I am so glad you found the video helpful :) xoxo
This was the video I didn't know I was searching for
I really needed this today. Thank you so much for all that you do Kati❤️
Happy Monday everyone :)
A former friend did all of these. Explains a lot.
I really needed this right now Kati. Thank you ❤️
Hey Kati, thanks for signing Harper’s letter over free speech. Really brave and appreciate your position.
Hey, Kati! Have you seen “The Good Place” on Netflix? It’s an amazing show, lots of philosophical thinking, analogies and calculating of behaviour. Gave me a lot of good reasons to reflect, I’m even searching for the books they used on the show. The talking on “The Office” was so cool, would you like to do a video about this show one day?
YESSSSSSSSSSSS
Yes I remember that! Excited to watch the updates!
Kati is not just a well educated and good human being. She's one of the best entatainers on You Tube because she's chararasmatic, funny, educational, and a special down to earth person. God bless you and your family.
If Comparison is the thief of happiness.
Then gratitude is the harbinger of happiness!
Practicing gratitude everyday is a great way to 1. End negative thinking spirals 2. Practice presence and mindfulness 3. Find happiness in what you already have, not in what you lack.
Hello Kati, my name is esmeralda and I always watch you're videos because they make me feel better. I hope u keep doing them. My parents see that I'm always alone, have no social life, and barely communicate with most of my family. They always ask me if i need psychological help, but not in a good way. Then they call me crazy if I've been in my room for too long. I always deny it. I dont know if I should ask them for help. My parents are not very informed about mental illness and study stigmatize it a lot. They just assume everyone struggling with their mental health is crazy. My family is mexican. I've watched many videos about Avoidant Personality Disorder and I feeling I can relate to them all. I really dont want to self diagnose, but all the symptoms are there for me.and it really affects the way I socialize with people, if I do. And I jist dont want to be lonely anymore. I want to have friends and relationships and be surrounded by people who love me. I feel like if I explain the diagnosis to them, they'll think its dumb because everyone worries about being liked. So it'll make me sound selfish and self centered. Also I have been hospitalized for depression before, on my 6th grade year. But we haven't talked but it since. While i do have depressive symptoms, AVPD (what I belive i have) really affects me and and I struggle with it everyday. But I feel like they won't believe me. I dont knkw what to do. I'm 16 years old. Can you please give me some advice on how to ask them for help, after I've always denied it and argued with them about it?
No this wasn’t directed at me..no not at all😅. Thank you so much for this! I’ve been struggling with everything right now and it’s somewhat stressful😓. I compare MYSELF ALL THE TIME! And I do need to work on it😊!
You've helped me so much, honestly I'd had some real set back's.
You're a beautiful person in a wholesome way Kati. Your speaking brings me a gentle sense of calmness. Thank you!
Off topic, but I need to share my story somewhere safe.
A few weeks ago I realized I was abused when I was around 10 years old. My older brother (12) would tickle me until I went silent. I was silent because I can’t breathe when I’m tickled. As the air left my lungs, I would say “I can’t breathe,” and he’d say “if you can talk, you can breathe.” And because of the involuntary spasms tickling causes, I couldn’t fight back, and I couldn’t yell for help since there was no air in my body.
I always hated it, but it took me 25 years to realize that was abuse. That it made me feel so worthless that I didn’t deserve to breathe, and my suffering was a joke, and that the people who are supposed to protect me, don’t care about me.
It’s why I have (undiagnosed) depression and anxiety. I frequently over eat to make myself feel uncomfortable. I had nightmares about someone breaking into my house, and I’d try to be an action hero and punch the guy, but had no strength, then would try to yell for help, but had no voice. Every compliment I receive feels like a lie. I’ve never had a job because I don’t believe I’m capable of anything.
When my niece was 3-4 (she’s 14 now), she loved being tickled, and of course, would want to tickle me. But I had to use every bit of strength I had to keep from punching or kicking her while trying to make her stop. I felt like such an asshole for what I now assume is PTSD.
And worst of all, it came up last year, not with the context of being abuse, but that it really sucked for me because I couldn’t breathe. And he laughed. He fucking laughed... A 37 year old still thought that I, his little brother, not being able to breathe, was hilarious.
I’ve only told my best friend about this so far. I want to tell my brother and my parents, but I can’t help but imagine he’ll laugh again, and that they will have his back, not mine.
Luckily, I’ve only ever been passively suicidal. Meaning just fantasizing about not existing, or getting a terminal illness. Never wanted to actively hurt myself. I imagine last month would’ve killed me otherwise.
Thank you, Kati, for creating a safe place for us to share our pain, and hopefully start to heal. ♥️
Bobo I’ve never heard anyone ever share about tickling as being abusive. Similar thing happened to me. Wow. Thanks so much for sharing your story. It helped me to realize a few things. Hope you get some help to deal with this. You totally deserve it.
Thank you for sharing your story. It actually makes a lot of sense. I’m wondering if maybe you have a Sensory Processing Disorder (like I do) where you’re so sensitive to touch that the stimulation from forced tickling can cause extreme physical pain. When pain gets too overwhelming, our body can literally shut down as a coping mechanism. PTSD comes from fearing for our lives or the lives of others. Having someone inflict that type of pain on you & find pleasure in your tormented response can certainly cause lasting trauma. Even though it may seem silly to others, this is very serious and you need to work on healing from the trauma you have as a result. PLEASE reach out to a mental health professional because with the right help, it DOES GET BETTER!!! Ck out Kati’s video on Sensory Processing Disorder below:
ua-cam.com/video/baO9vLlHh5s/v-deo.html
DarlingrunnerPT I’m so glad this helped you realize things, and I hope you make great strides towards healing!
TK I’ve never felt pain from any form of touch. That sounds awful. I’m so sorry you have to deal with that. I haven’t watched the video yet, and I have no idea if that’s treatable, but if it is, I hope it gets better for you.
Bobo sorry, I didn’t mean to make any assumptions. Even if someone doesn’t have touch sensory issues, being “tickle tortured” can be extremely traumatic because it can cause feelings of being trapped and having no control, leaving you gasping for breath. It can even cause you to go into “fight or flight” where your brain releases a ton of adrenaline & other stress hormones. Frequent reoccurrences of this can certainly lead to PTSD, especially when you are being tickled or tickling someone else.
One thing I still don't understand is: When we are diagnosed with a disorder, it is only when the symptoms we have are impairing our life. But who defines impairment? Isn't that defined by comparing to other people who are not impaired? How could one ever say that something is impairing their life if there is no other life of someone else to compare to where these things don't impair them?
Maybe it could be used more in the sense of comparison to yourself like something a person is now finding challenging that they didn't before
@@itsalliX0 Well, I have always been autistic and had ADHD.
Everything is ok... If I don't infringe on your freedom. Do no harm. I can't compare myself to anyone. Thx u da coolest. Keep up the good work and God bless.
hope ur doing okay Kati! Thank u for all u do💕
Awe of course!!! And I am doing okay today! I hope you are too :) xoxo
Thank you for this💜
Thank you so much Kati for this video. I had been crying since past hour for a similar reason, I was comparing my relationship status with that of my friends.. and I've never been loved, either being told I'm too crazy or ugly. I was crying a lot. Then you dropped this video. Thank you so much, i feel better ♥️
Amazing video - really helps me with both self-harm issues and binge-eating issues. Thank you so much!
i struggle heavily with comparing myself. recently i’ve been comparing myself a lot to someone i used to be friends with, she and i got in relationships at the same time but mine ended and hers is still going strong. for a long time i kinda resented her for it bc i didn’t understand why she got to be happy and i didn’t but i’m starting to realize that our lives have nothing to do with each other. maybe her relationship isn’t as good as it seems on social media, maybe it is !! either way, her success in her relationship does not undermine my value, i am still worthy and lovable exactly as i am and so is she. her happiness does not take away from my own
Such a thoughtful Video, thank you so much Kati ❤️
Comparison is poignant to being competitive and perfectionism. I find that I am perfectionist, and not that I am comparing myself to others, I am definitely staying hopeful to what I want to be and become. If it’s not an eating disorder, it’s over working myself to achieve the many, many, many goals that I have. Now I am not competing with anyone but myself to keep being better. I am unsure how healthy this really is when I keep comparing myself to an old version of me, when the present version is better already.
It doesn’t sound very healthy, tbh. PLEASE reach out to a mental health professional because with the right help it DOES GET BETTER!!
@@_just_TK That's pretty assumptious of you to assume I need to seek help or that I haven't talked to anyone about this. I was just making a comparison and I already made positive light that the present me is good enough.
Thank you for another amazing video. They are so helpful 💕
I needed to hear this today xx
Thank you for the precious work you do
Your top is so colorful and fun!
Awe thanks!! xoxo
Kati Morton hello just joined the comments and started watching this new video seen the notification and straight away clicked on it so far my Monday has been honestly horrible this video is the only thing to be happy about I have felt depressed and just haven't been able to get myself together today also this video I can reate to because I think about what other people have and what other people do and what I don't have or what I haven't done and I always overthink everything kati I always look forward to your videos thank you
Thank you so much xxx
Yes Kati, yes!!
“...or maybe you’ve binged all of my videos at some point...”
🐾::puts my paw in the air:: 🐾
What if you're not depressed, but just don't enjoy anything anymore and absolutely hate leaving the apartment? And hate social interaction? And want to be my old self again? I would pay for those answers.
...it sounds like you may have depression. Depression looks different person to person. Depression may also present itself differently in the same person than it did in the past. PLEASE reach out to a mental health professional because with the right help it DOES GET BETTER!❤️
@@_just_TK Thanks. I already have an appointment. The thing is that I don't feel bad. I just don't seem to be able to feel good anymore. It doesn't make me sad, but I still don't like it.
It sounds so easy but it’s so hard for me! I don’t know how to tell the difference between what my eating disorder wants and what my body wants. I feel like they’ve morphed into one.
Just because it’s simple, didn’t mean it’s easy. Eating Disorders aren’t about the food, it’s about control. They are sneaky bastards and will always lie & make you feel like it’s never enough. PLEASE reach out to a mental health professional if you haven’t already because with the right help it DOSE GET BETTER!!! ❤️
ua-cam.com/play/PLAB41960D35357E06.html
Loved this
Thanks Kati !!!
I don't have an ED, but still a good reminder for things like the bridge statements.. And yes, I knew the J-bomb was coming 😂
hahah! Gotta end with j-bomb!! hahah!!
@@Katimorton I'm learning to appreciate it lol. I just require learning curves!! 🥰
We can't always do what feels good. We need to do what's right. That's what sets us apart from animals and it also means we need to fight against some of the desires. Comparing oneself with others can help us set our goals, but in the meantime, it's easy to be discouraged by the "harsh truth" and even feel jealous.
What's the balance between not comparing oneself with others to maintain a good mood and gaining healthy motivation by comparing with seemingly successful peers?
I'd really like to know that as well. What I am missing in the video is that people have long term goals and might want to go against their craving in order to fulfill their long term goals, not in order to fulfill social expectations.
Often having someone just slightly better than you seems to actually be motivating. For me personally however, I know I can't really compare myself to the majority because their life is just unrealistic for me to manage (autism+ADHD), so I really wish I could know what a realistic goal way of living could look like for me.
Ahh, the dreaded j-word again. You know what? I have been journaling every day for the past few weeks and it has helped so much! It's helped me to identify a lot of the strong feelings that I feel every day and I have been practicing to be OK with them.
❤️
Love this video! I haven’t been much involved since YouNow fell in because I have been in treatment and focusing on myself so I really hope you remember me. It’s Nessabugg. Anyways, when I was in treatment we were always told “If I compare, I will despair. So don’t even go there.” I really hope this may in some way help someone to challenge those thoughts as it helped me tremendously. Feel free to use it as you like
How do you do this, Kati? You are reading my mind! ❤ I struggle with this so much and always assume that I'm a piece of shit that isn't worth living or being. I can't stop rumenating about this idea eventhough I tried to negate it with facts. I'm trying to get into therapy (which I should've done a long time ago). Thank you ❤
Edit: I think that idea was implanted in my head by my parents when I was very young, my mom would compare me to my oldest brother all the time and my dad would compare me to other people of the same age who are (as he used to say) more useful and active. And eventhough I'm 20 years old now, I can't stop believing that. I can't find any value for myself away from whatever impressions others may have. I struggle with the feeling that I'm not good enough, that my accomplishments don't matter and no matter what I do, I won't ever be a good person or enough.
Check out Kati’s video on Schema Therapy! ua-cam.com/video/C-yRFobDru8/v-deo.html
@@_just_TK
Oh my god! That was so helpful, Thank you. ❤ Now I'm more excited to get into therapy.
Thank you Katie I are very smart and learn a lot from you so thank you
Loved this video!!! I know you have plenty of videos talking about SH but if possible could you make one talking about carving (words/insults) instead of just cutting lines. Sorry if it's too weird but I'd like to know more about it. Thank you
I so badly want to hug you sometimes. You strike some nerves in a good way. I love your content.
Great video! I do have a habit of comparing myself to others, but this video has helped!
I was wondering if you could do a video of dealing with anxiety in terms of the job searching process (being interviewed and dealing with rejection), especially during this pandemic? Thanks!
AMEN!!!!
With all of your “Inside Out” references lately, I’m now picturing comparison kidnapping Joy and it’s a horrific visual. 😂
But one that will probably keep me from comparing. Dark but effective.
😹
I think this helps me to understand my sil better. She can be very negative, judgemental and nasty. She makes a lot of assumptions on how she thinks our lives work which are not based on reality. She doesn't see that I suffer badly from A & D and can't work because of it etc. Now all I need is a video on how to stop ruminating on her bad behaviour! Thanks.
I have found it is better to assume that nothing is free. So the better someone has it in one way, the worse they will have it in another.
Thank you
Love your videos kati 😊 can you make a video about how to recognise people who have personality disorder traits but dont have the disorder and how to help/deal with it! ❤️