WHY I NEEDED A BREAK...
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- Опубліковано 11 лют 2022
- I've lived life, 0 or 100. Pick the topic, it's always been one or the other and I couldn't keep it up any longer. In today's video, I'm sharing how I discovered through EMDR therapy that this was a survival operating system I developed as a child in a violent home to survive. A great survival tactic, and is no longer needed as my go-to, day in and day out operation. Learning how to slow down, honor my body and take my time. #onionpeelers
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Love you all!
-- Jannelle
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You are definitely more than hair. I’ve followed you for a while and I’m a black woman with relaxed hair and I love all of your content. But I relate so much to the trauma you experienced. I’ve been in therapy for 6 years and wow the layers. I’m so glad to see you and pray for your continued healing.
It’s such a crappy thing to relate on and also feels great to have found my people who see and get it! Proud of you for the work you’re doing! These patterns end with us!!!!
Hearing you say adult you was proud of the 5-year-old you gave me chills. Such a powerful message! Those of us whose childhood was full of abuse need to value how our child survived. The ability to anticipate upcoming abuse and drama is a skill developed at our young age and we should value that and the young child that developed that. I am rambling now , I know. I just wanted you to know how powerful sharing your experience was.
Getting to that place of not feeling judgment and just gratitude for doing what had to be done is such a freeing feeling. Those tools were survival, period. And it’s pretty miraculous that so many children with not much support just get it and do what’s necessary. Pretty beautiful.
Janelle- I found you when looking for help for my curly hair. I so appreciate your story and your willingness to be transparent about what you’re working through. (My “recovery” story started about 7 years ago.) It’s amazing the doors you are opening for other people when you share what you went through and how you are overcoming it. I just want to encourage you. I hope one day you will see the ripple effect that you have on the world.
OMG you're back, you're back, you're back!!!!!! I have been anticipating hearing from you and I'm ecstatic to see you again lady. I'm so happy you have been working on peace, balance, and kick assness...and that you're sharing such a personal journey with us. You are loved 🤗 and have been so missed. Hope to continue seeing you more.
Awwww the warmth that just filled my heart 😂 thank you for thinking of me and such a warm welcome back. I love y’all and it feels really good to feel that love returned. ❤️
She wasnt back
Janelle, I started following you for my personal curly hair journey and your personal healing journey helped me choose therapy for myself. 💕 Thank you for always sharing.
I am so damn proud of you!!! Cheers to healing!! ❤️❤️
Thank you so much for sharing. I related to this post on so many levels. I am working through my trauma. I am doing EMDR. I am reprogramming my system too. It’s so hard and it takes time and sometimes it’s 2 steps forward, 1 step back. You’re amazing. I love your honesty and vulnerability and your hair :) I’m glad to feel a little less alone on this healing journey. Looking forward to more updates if and as slowly as they come! You ARE badass!!!
Wow Jannelle! I can absolutely feel the change in you through this video. What an incredible energy you exude now 🥰 you talking about your inner child is so healing. Thank you for sharing and so grateful you are here with us again!!
So incredibly happy for you too have realized you needed the break and needed to do some healing work. It is so important for us to continue to work through our issues and as you said honor the child in us. Thank you for sharing your journey. I know it will make a difference in so many people that need that little nudge to get their own help. ❤️❤️❤️
I love you girl. I really appreciate your vulnerability and openness. 🥺
I’m really glad that you were able to take this time for yourself.💕
Thank you for taking us with you on your healing journey! You are so inspiring - it is truly a privilege to watch your courage in taking these steps toward healing. Many of us are too afraid to even start. Little Jannelle would be so proud seeing you put your mental health first. Congratulations on these amazing steps and thank you again for sharing. It helps some of us more than you know 🤗❤️
I had a very, very similar experience growing up and deal with so many of the same ripple effects. I'm 42 now and have spent my entire adult life trying to heal from my childhood. Some of the effects will never go away.
It's been a long time since you posted, I hope you're well, I hope you're feeling strong and happy in whatever you're doing these days, and I hope you're taking good care of your heart and being gentle with yourself. 🤍
12 mins on had me in tears, queen.
Thanks so much for your admissions on this topic. Your vulnerability is so amazing and so queen like. You are so supported and loved!
You are wonderful! You are strong! You deserve this light at the end of that tunnel! This internet stranger is SO DAMN PROUD of you! Childhood trauma is a beast and you are taking it DOWN!!! Major kudos to you.
Also, I'm suuuuuper happy you're back and your hair looks amazing. Hugs from afar!
I think your kitty was worried about you. It stayed right behind you the whole time. Very sweet.
So glad you are back, sending so much healing love and light your way.
Hey Janelle! It's great to hear more of your story and your healing ❤️ (The color and curls look great, too!)
Thank you for sharing!! I found you through your amazing hair content. This hits home. You and 5-year-old Jannelle are warriors!! ❤️
So happy to see your face! Thank you for sharing your journey and shedding light on a very important topic.
it's v nice to hear you talk about this stuff in the past tense. "I was" living with that as my primary operating system. makes it feel like there's hope. we've talked a bit on IG about our similar upbringings and you being open about your journey encouraged me to keep searching for answers. I got a new therapist and we're working on finding the middle between the extremes. no need for 0 to 100 anymore, we're safe now. I'm so so happy to hear how much better you're feeling. keep making little jannelle proud :')
So awesome that you honored your body and the little girl inside of you. My little girl learned to numb her emotions, put on a brave face and just keep going like shit wasn't a mad house at home. I've also been on a similar path by giving myself time to finally process the hurt that I stuffed away. It can take years but it's so worth it. Will look into EMDR. Keep going at the pace that feels right for your mental, emotional, and physical well being.
Thank you for sharing. Yesterday I made the decision to take some time off work to make my mental health a priority and to "slow down". The timing of your video couldn't have been more perfect. Complete validation! Thank you thank you thank you for sharing. Much love from a fellow curly girl!
Girl, you take all the time you need your ride or die subs/friends will be here when you get back! I saw your Instagram post and it was beautifully written. It’s insane what trauma can do to someone. It can take a long time to heal from it. And you can even feel like you have moved past it and healed and it can trigger you again and it all rushes back.. But, just keep pushing through and taking it a min by min, one foot in front of the other.. your a strong woman! You got this my friend! ❤️❤️ I’m SO glad your back!!
Thank you!!! It really is an ongoing process. I wish more people understood that! You don’t pack the trauma on in one day so the expectation that it goes away quickly is an unreasonable one!!
Welcome back. Took a break myself, and then started Family Constellation work which helped me a lot.
Thank you so much for being so vulnerable and honest. I'm so grateful to have watched this video. You and me are sisters in this. I'm going to have to look up the treatment you mentioned because I am very much a pendulum swinger too. (That's how I've always thought of the 0 -100) I try so hard to keep it in the middle but I can't help but go full boar until I've got nothing left. Unfortunately, I'm 40 with kids learning this stuff, and when you talk I hear not only my experience, but the experience my kids have to live through, and that guilt of recognizing the cycle of abuse is strong. I hope I can find some ways to heal this so I can make things better for my kids.
I'm so glad you learned some things and shared them. I hope you continue to feel brave enough to do that.
I'm in your corner.
Thank you Leslie for being in my corner! I don’t know how to adequately express the joy and love I feel being supported. I am however sorry that you recognize your own experience in mine. It’s not an easy one.
The effects of trauma are really not talked about enough. There are so many more resources now that weren’t as accessible 10, 15, 20 years ago. And therapy has definitely not been as wildly accepted or even considered necessary for so many of us that really need(ed) it. I think guilt is a common feeling because kids or not, we can all look back and wish we knew what we know now.
The great thing, is it’s never too late. You can break those cycles and help your children do the same!!! ❤️❤️❤️
EMDR is wild, I was scared to try it but OMG where I am today is unbelievable. I love how the curly hair journey is a gateway for opening up the healing process. As you begin to love your hair and yourself you open up for healing. Sending you love. Great video.
Omg! I am so happy for you! I totally understand everything you said. I’ve been following you for a while. I always enjoyed your personality. I’m really glad you are finding healing. I was looking into that therapy a few years ago but, never found a therapist for it. Maybe I should look again.
I'm so happy to see you posting on these things. It's just so nice to hear that you took time for you. It amazes me how, when working through trauma (whether it's in therapy, with meditation, with anything really), that we can start to heal using one thing, and maybe we jump around to something else, and we make progress and start to feel relief... but over time, we get a clearer view of the things that are sewn into ourselves that are still lingering; that are embedded into our everyday, that maybe we weren't ready to let go of when we started out, or maybe we figured we could hold onto it, or maybe we just weren't aware of where it came from. I feel like I'm healing, and I still get pulled back in. But, I've been rewarded for all this work I've put in, and I'm starting to see this dream that little me once had, that adult me put away and tried to be okay with leaving behind. The work I've put in has been allowing me to show myself a lot of love, and I'm letting others love me again. I'm way more comfortable with walking away from things that I truly clung onto that were not helping me. I've been switching up what I think I deserve; from really negative things, back to positive things. Thank you for replying when I've reached out on IG in the last year. I just needed a little guidance in understanding that seeking recovery from trauma is rough and taking breaks to figure out better boundaries are okay, and I just greatly appreciate the time and patience it takes to give that to yourself and offer advice to others, especially strangers. You don't have to and you did anyway and that's really cool. ❤❤
You go girl! Definitely badass.
And I hear you. I refer to my healing as an onion. Just when you think you have it sorted, there is another layer.
I read something recently that resonated and went something along the lines of "healing is a dance, it isn't a switch"... I am glad to see you back and even happier that you are finding your way through and having the courage to share that. 👊🏻💕
Yes! Onion peeling! Takes time!
Thank you for this. You are speaking my childhood perfectly. My mother was bipolar and did not believe in therapy or medications and was abusive. I never knew what mom I was going to get every day or even hour to hour. You’ve made me think about trying some therapies again. I purchased some workbooks on healing your inner child that I put aside worried that I would go downhill if I opened up that can of worms but you’ve given me the strength to sit down and start working on myself and my inner child. Thank you ❤️
This kind of video is why I search you out from time to time knowing that you may be taking a break for good reasons, for self care reasons...I'm so glad you feel like you can take the time to heal and integrate. Good to see you back and your hair looks fantastic!
Thank you so much for your transparency. Brought tears to my eyes listening to your story. Good for you for taking care of YOUR needs! Welcome back.
Thank-you for sharing. You are helping others by putting yourself out there 💕
So glad you’re back❤️ Thank you for being so raw and vulnerable and sharing.
Welcome back Janelle. Self care is so very important for us, yet the most difficult to implement. Your video brought tears to my eyes. But then the way you ended it made me smile. You're listening to your inner self but more importantly following thru. Keep up the good work! FYI your hair is gorgeous.
Wow, Jannelle, you are truly amazing. I found you while searching for wavy/curly hair guidance for my niece, and your intelligence, humor, and openness made you my favorite source. You have the same depth and intelligence when speaking about mental health, and you show so much courage and wisdom when sharing your past wounds and healing journey. Thanks for all of your gifts.
This is your best video, by far! 🥰 You've shared some things that resonated with things I've been thinking and going through.
I can relate to having a house filled with domestic violence-and I got sick-like lupus and autoimmune stuff because I could never really relax. Getting ready to start trauma therapy (again lol, you weren’t kidding about layers) you are such an encouragement to me while I try to go deeper and find more mental, emotional, and physical healing ❤ I hope you’re doing well and giving yourself what you need! Bravo to you! You’re so brave!! 💝
I am so very proud of the 5 y.o and older you! You are doing such important work for your health and for those around you! You are more than the sum of “all” your parts and now you are learning how to appreciate them in a different and more positive way. I started watching you when a month ago I started my curly/wavy hair journey you give such great information and I love your laugh and sense of humor. You have been a light and guidance to an older person. I am 66 y.o. Who knew your hair could get curly so late in life when I haven’t really changed anything. Anyway thank you for your tutelage in all things hair, thank you for be one brave women and sharing your life and how you are. Please keep safe and well!
Girl you are amazing, thanks for just being you, That’s what we all love ❤️
As you launched in I was hoping you would state that you'd gotten into EMDR, and then you said it! I've heard the best things about it and look forward to being in a space where I can get in there too.
That said- so amazing to run across your vid today.
... And the pact that you and your 5 yo self made- just amazing.
Wishing all the best things for you.
P. S. your hair is still just the best!
I'm watching and listening and the bells are just dinging so loud in my head. I'm currently going 100mph and I know I'm going to crash soon. Thanks for sharing - it's helping me realize I need to pay attention to my patterns of avoiding all of the trauma I don't want to work through. Sending love from one curly girl to another
This message was so strong and spoke to me so deeply! I am so proud of you!
It's so good to see you!!
Mental health is not taken care of as much as it should be. Good job on taking care of yourself and realizing the help you needed
It’s so true! We really as a society have nothing honored the importance of mental health and it’s of the highest importance. I always feel like sharing is my little contribution to shifting that narrative. We all have stories, trauma whether from our own experience or generational and we all need the time and space to process and heal. ❤️
Beautiful results Jannelle. 🌸. Even when we are out of abusive situations it’s very similar to PTSD, in that our mind keeps trying to protect us from stressful situations. With time forgiving everyone, including ourselves definitely helps. A few months ago I switched to a plant based diet and one of the biggest benefits was that I noticed my anxiety diminished quite a bit. Nourishing our bodies the way it was intended really helps us heal from the inside out.
Right! It is definitely ptsd and for many cptsd. Takes time to unravel that! I’m happy to hear you’re having success with plant based diet and feeling better! Supporting and nourishing the body in every way we can definitely helps for a smoother ride!
Welcome Back Giggles😍. So glad to see you again. I’m so glad you found the right therapy for you and finally got your break through.😃. Hair came out great. It would be cute and fun to see your husband do that for you next time and style it for you. I’m so glad you are getting better and will be able to enjoy life more 🤩❤️ I have always thought that people who make UA-cam videos should be creating content for fun and that they are enjoying it. It shouldn’t feel like pressure ,it should feel like a stress release and exciting to want to do. If that makes sense.
I cried with you. Thank you for being so raw - you're amazing.
You are amazing. You and little Janelle are holding hands and learning a new program together. That is amazing! I started with the hair (and I still enjoy it what advice you have to give on that subject) BUT I stayed for the authenticity. I would love to know more about EDMR. There’s been some (mild) trauma in my life and years ago I heard the “be still” message and yes, in the pulling back and getting quiet (I was in lockdown way before lockdowns), I too have gone down many healing rabbit holes and learned a lot. Wishing you love and continued healing. Anything you want to share I will be honoured to listen, brave Janelle. ❤️
Thank you for holding that space for all sides of me in this space! I feel pretty lucky to have community that *gets* it! EMDR is the most effective trauma therapy in aware of. Specifically for those with ptsd and cptsd. I’ll share more about it as I continue but in the meantime www.emdria.com was the site my therapist recommended for finding trained/qualified therapists and it also has a lot of helpful information about the process!!
@@JannelleOShaughnessy thank you! I will definitely investigate the website. I am so ready for positive change, maybe this will be the key. I’ll be here for your future posts, whenever you do them. Sending you lots of love. 🥰
Good for you! I've been getting professional help for developmental trauma for about 4 years. I tried general therapy and lots of other stuff before that but I can't stress enough how important it is to see someone who specialises in Complex PTSD and EMDR. There's also a newer treatment called The Ideal Parent Figure Protocol, which is helpful for parental abuse and attachment issues. I can't even tell you how much that's helped me. Hugs to you! You can get through this. ❤
Your hair turned out so pretty! Also, good for you recognizing what you needed to do!
Thank you❣️So well said❣️We have such similar paths and hair - lol. EMDR has made a drastic difference for me too. Thank you for being so articulate and raw and brave to help other people. You are truly an angel💞😻oh - and so good to see you after all these months❣️
It's sooo good to see you. Wishing you continued healing. We'll be here whenever you feel like being here too!
Thank you ❤️❤️❤️
You are an inspiration to me. Thank you for being so vulnerable and honest. ❤️
I'm happy to see you again ❤ thanks for sharing your life with us. I can relate about healing childhood trauma. and about stopping everything and not giving a fuck! your hair looks gorgeous 😍 I got mine cut super short and now it's been 2 months and its growing weird. hopefully it speeds up I'm excited for it to be chin length!
Happy to be back!!! Growing out haircuts can be a funky process, crossing fingers you get there quickly and loveee it ❤️
So glad you are taking care of yourself and finding your peace and joy! You’ve been missed and you and your hair looks amazing. Take care of yourself; sending big hugs, love and light!
Lol you are a lot of fun when talking some serious ptsd. I can totally relate. Exactly same place as you. Starting EMDR soon. Can’t wait. Love your hair 🥰
I've missed you!! I'm glad you took time when you needed to though. 🥰 Welcome back!
Thank you for the warm welcome back!!! ❤️❤️❤️ I’ve missed y’all!
Thank you for sharing! This was very powerful and beautiful
I'm glad that you did what was best for you. Even though the road isn't easy, it's needed. Now you done made me cry... I'm glad to see your beautiful face and I love the new color 😘💕. Take your time and keep smelling the roses beautiful 💕💕
Glad to see u back. I can relate to u more than hair( I let mine go grey & now its fine straight and thin 😪.Ive had a very similar life to urs.I feel.like ur talking about me! its so helpful to watch ur videos. Ur so kind and caring.Im glad ur doing well now
I’m glad to see you and your heart. You rock. Never forget that. 💛💛💛
I'm so proud of you. And so is 5yr old Janelle ❤
You're a total bad ass! Glad you're feeling better and gained some clarity.❤
Thank you for sharing your journey with us.🙏
Glad you're back!
Subconscious dread of what's coming next is emotionally debilitating. My wish for you is the joy of anticipation.
Soooo happy to see you back! Missed you so much xxx
EMDR Changed my life!!! Way to go girl!!!
my favorite thing about your videos is that LAUGH. adorable :)
Love you and welcome back! 🐢
So glad you’re back!
I wondered where you were. I double checked that I was still subscribed.
I haven’t watch any of the video yet. I hope you’re well!
😊
Happy to see you back!
You are radiant. Healing looks good on you. ❤️
Your curls are looking so amazing!!! So full & voluminous!
Thank you!!! Getting my density back has been my goal!!!!
EMDR is truly amazing ❤️
I know exactly how you felt. I grew up the same, it wasn’t a physical abuse but an emotional & verbal abuse. I was constantly walking on eggshells, always in fight or flight mode. I’d get the worst anxiety attacks just to go home not knowing what to expect. I’m currently trying to heal, in my early 20s but man is it difficult.
Taking care of yourself is so important. Sometimes, like you said, life experiences sends you in a defense mechanism of living life 0 to 100 in a matter of seconds. It takes an extremely strong and brave person to auto-analyze themselves and seek help. Happy to see that you found something that works for you. That's why there are so many options, because we are all so different. I remember when my ex-husband cheated on me and left me, it made me feel so helpless, so unloved....just like when my dad had done it to my mom. All I know, that when I realized one day that I just couldn't do it by myself, I went to a therapist, and it made me feel so much better. Fast forward to today, it's one of the best decisions I could have done for myself.
As for anyone reading, if you work with a large company, look for some type of Office of Employee Assistance or something like that. If you're a college student, there's also help for you. Your college/university/school, has a designated department to help. Usually in Student Affairs or Student Services. They offer assistance and the best part of it, it's confidential.
OMG I watched this again and it hit me so hard…I feel ‘ya girl…hope you are doing well 💜
I love how the deeper the story gets, the more "into the space" your cat gets. It's like I'm hanging out, doing hair with an old friend...What a cool channel...
And I definitely see you. That was such a great message... my inner child and I really needed to hear that it's ok to still have the programming but it doesn't have to be the primary💚
I have sorely missed your joyous laugh, but I'm happy you are caring for yourself.
You are beautiful and I am praying for your healing! Your color is awesome!
Thank you for sharing
glad you slowed down I did too too much on the go go go isnt healthy for everyone
love the colors
Hey beautiful soul 💕 so happy to see you
Thank you! Feels good to be here ❤️❤️❤️
GIRLLLLLLLL I was just thinking of you yesterday. Your laugh is contagious. I'm glad you got the rest you needed. You are a strong, badass woman.
Thank you thank you for thinking of me!!! ❤️❤️❤️
@@JannelleOShaughnessy 😻You're welcome
Your laugh/cry is epic! Missed your content.
I have often wondered how you were doing and hoped you were doing really well. I have missed your fun, bubbly presence and that giggle! I am glad you are doing the work you need to in order to be living your biggest, best life! Thanks for speaking openly about that, to help normalize the power of finding the right help. EMDR 100% rocked my PTSD world. It is so great you found someone to help you work through things with that tool.
Thank you for thinking of me ❤️ EMDR really is a game changer!
I've been thinking about you 💗
Used to follow you when I did curly hair method. Thought of you the other day. Weird, huh. You must have made an impression on me, specifically I thought of this video and how abruptly it ended. Just know you are thought of, and wished we’ll by a complete stranger. ❤🙏🏻
Just wanted to send you a message…..We miss you!! I hope you are making big things happen and doing what’s best for you! Just wanted to say we haven’t forgotten you!
You have to do what is best for you. And no one understands that better than you.
I have a question about your video from a year ago - the one where you explain why you won’t get layers again. You stated what to do with the ¾ of hair on the bottom, but what do I tell a stylist to do with the ¼ on top? I also part my hair on the side, have no bangs, and really like how you have some shorter pieces in front. But I don’t know what that’s called. Would I ask for face framing layers for the whole ¼ top to get that look? Just want to know the terminology. Thanks!
We miss you, hope you are doing well ❤️
#BraveLady Funny, I just thought about yr channel yesterday & you popped up today for no reason! Hope yr doing as well as can be. Your story is so familiar to me it's scary!
Hope u & yr belly laugh are able to come back soon! You've been missed.✌️#WarriorWomen
Hi, miss your awesome videos. Hope all well
❤
You have always been one of my fave curly girls! I hope you are doing well ❤ Are there other sites you are on now? Anyone know?
Love reiki!
So glad to see your beautiful face again. I've thought of you several times and hoping that you've been well! ❤
Thank you for thinking of me! Missed y’all ❤️❤️
Thinking of you
what do u use to colour your hair?