Why Your Ex Has To Learn The Hard Way
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- Опубліковано 1 лип 2024
- Coach Lee explains why your ex has to learn the hard way when it comes to realizing that breaking up with you was a mistake.
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Videos mentioned in this one:
Stages Your Ex Goes Through During No Contact: • Stages Ex Goes Through...
Psychology of the No Contact Rule: • Psychology of No Conta...
What Is Limerence? • What Is Limerence?
Why Did Your Ex Just Give Up On You (And Your Relationship)? • Why Did My Ex Give Up ...
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Coach Lee so true that experience from all this explanation in this video has worked. It’s not magic it’s feeling and next thing you know I’m happy. Everybody follow coach Lee advice and get the breakup kit.
Experience from all this explanation?? What do you mean?
coach lee is the breakup guru .only one coach lee
@@galadrielwoods2332 .he talks sense to all of us who messed up a good thing cuss we wernt learned in the ways of a healthy or smart approach too the breakup of someone we relly and truly loved
@@galadrielwoods2332 just like i did cuss we are empaths and intuitively knew they were bs n us ..xoxo beautiful soul
@@galadrielwoods2332 people arnt garbage nothing living is garbage .not even rats ...we all are alive at the same time weather ant or woman..garbage is a label too everything we thinl we can toss without karma attached..an abortion is the idea that will land yall in hell
I went no contact and got engaged to a better man soon after. Been together for nearly 2 years now. Lol. My lesson was that I had to let him go completely in both mind and spirit and give someone else all of me. Thank you.
Who broke up with who and why?
Forgiveness requires tons of strength.
These videos are amazing. They calm my anxiety when it creeps up and helps me keep no contact 😊💯
Yeah they do I’m going through it rn man. My fiancé and mother of my child just left me like 4 days ago.
@@onelastkast3 head up king. I know it's hard but it does get easier. Remember your worth and value ☺️💪
@@tysonmoffat9230 I’m trying man. I was a mess the first few days kept in contact and did everything wrong. Now I’m at the point where I realize I’m worth it and I’m not guna contact her, and just hope for the best.
Completely relatable
@@onelastkast3 how are you?
My ex reached out after 40 days of no contact one NYE telling me that there will always be a place for me in her heart and what we had was special, i just replied happy new year !
mine did too but i didnt respond..didnt want to break nc
🤣
@@gew977 u suppose to reply to her, but Keep it short hey, I think u should watch, the video on what to do when ur ex reaches out
My ex said the same thing before . What exactly does that mean?
@@mootsiee tbh I didn't even bother trying to understand the meaning behind her message, after 40 days I was kinda over it and if she has something to say then she's the one who's supposed to reach out and do the work
It's been 6 months since our breakup and it still hurts me like it was yesterday
1 year for me. I promise it will get better.
I’m there with you. It’s been 6 months and some days it even feels like the pain is getting worse
a little over 2 months and it's still unbelievable. i'm still in a dazey foggy mentality. trying to make sense of it.
I fully get your pain my ex girlfriend broke up with me 11 months ago and still I live in hope and pain ...doing my very best to stay strong and in no contact for the last 4 month's
Put in mind that you deserve a person that really appreciate and respect you, and that's what you didn't get from your ex. When you feel that, I will assure that you will start to get out of this misery. It's our bad luck that makes us fall with such persons. The coming days are worth living for. Best wishes....
I will never give up on him, but I won't chase him. He knows he did me wrong. He needs to fix it.
I got back with my ex and I still love watching these videos.. 😅
Congrat❤
What happened for you to go back? Just curious..
Congratulations! I hope mine returns as well ❤️
@@masmusiclive did it go well?
Omg congratulations how long did it take may I ask
I am DYING 😂🤣.
Rando: An ex is an ex for a reason!
Coach: "We all think the person typing that is just brilliant....GREAT. Be you. Do...you."
Me too 🤣
Me too, Liz. She was the love of my life. Broke up with me 3 months ago and I feel...empty. There's a cavity in my chest. The pain is unbearable.
😂😂😂
Happened to be reading this at the exact moment he said it 🤣🤣🤣
My ex learned the hard way. She lost me for good. I met and married someone else and had 2 kids. She hasn't had a successful relationship since. Never married, no kids and now extremely bitterest towards me even though she broke up with me.
Hah, classic
Niiice
Sounds like you were with a narcissist who's upset she can't get supply from you any longer.
Well that was rude!!
ha, that's women for you, making permanent decisions based on temporary emotions.
My narcissistic ex is in a rebound but won’t stop texting me. I’ve ghosted her but she just keeps sending them. I will never be a back up plan or 2nd place to anybody.
She wants a childish reaction from you, NEVER tolerate disrespect from a narcissistic emotional being who does NOT know what she wants. Walk away happy you cause you dodged a bullet
Narcissists don't love you they love the control they have over you! Go no contact forever and never take her back!
Tell her that she has 2 choices: 1. She moves on without you. OR 2. You will change your phone number and leave her forever.
@@kenf.2413 Nothing against your advice in general but if she rly is a narcissist you don't tell her anything, any type of attention positive or negative is sadly what they feed of.. You block her everywhere and go no contact forever im in the same boat with the difference that I have a child with my narcissistic ex I still have to see that person every time and I'm dealing with ptsd and anxiety because of her
block her
I love Coach Lee! But I did the opposite to get my ex back. I did no contact on and off for 3 months when we broke up. I couldn’t take it anymore so I kicked down the door of no contact and spoke to him directly. After a few weeks of back and forth, we got back together and have been back together for over two years and planning for our future together. Our relationship is better than ever. It’s completely different from the 4 1/2 years we were together before our breakup. I’m beyond happy!! I’m blessed.
❤️
What did you say to them directly
Oh no...this won't end well...throw a marriage into the mix and it will be "Trigger City" for him...what's now blissful will turn into a nightmare. I wish you the best of luck but feel really bad for you knowingly going down this path with a FA.
Your comment makes me feel better. I've been contemplating about my breakup, and now I understand why it happened. This breakup is neccessary for both of us. I'm now focusing on myself. He gets to gain experience so that he knows for sure what he wants. I'm not waiting for him to come back, but I'm also not forcing myself to think that even if he does come back, I won't let him. I'll consider depending on our situation, and my decision will not be affected by loneliness. By then, I'll be a much better version of myself. If he doesn't come back, I'll still win because I choose to improve myself right now.
But your comment gives me hope because it confirms that going back to an ex could also be a happy ending
You could've gotten someone better
Guys he is so right stick to no contact no matter what
My ex just messaged me that he want me back in 15 days of no contact
Stick to it it's works thank you coach Lee
update
Any updates?
About a month after the fact, spent my time healing every day. Take care of myself and live my best life. Accepted the fact that it’s happened, can’t change it. Honestly at this point, wouldn’t even care if she tried to come back. I’ve moved on and would rather focus on me.
Thanks Coach Lee!
This man is a national treasure
I've become a big crybaby since we broke up! i swear it's tiring thinking about it. I miss her more and more every day!
No shame
That is growth. Pain is good. Don’t give up cry if you must but keep going keep growing.
Don’t let her know you are shook up. Missing someone is normal. Get moving
Thank you. I'm not. Haven't said a word her way since. I have moved on with my life since this happened. trying to at least.
@@betherealdeal ...thank you.
@@Redouku ....that really does make sense. I just wish I had some answers as to how it all went sour all of a sudden and if there was something I could have done differently. Thank you.
“An ex for an ex is a reason” is just bitterness not insight.
When we’ve learned the lesson it can often prevent further issues.
This was a great lesson, Coach Lee.
She came back...and said she doesn't wanna live without me ect...but
Things never resparked again, things are awkward and shallow and there is no chemistry as it used to be(at least that's how i feel) and it pains me so much to see how things blow up over a stupid simple misunderstanding
Somtimes... it's better to walk away fo good and extend the "no contact rule" few decades 😅
Lol
Any updates ?
I tried to tell her this, almost exactly like this, when she was leaving but she didn’t care. I’m glad to see someone else has the same definition of what love actually is
I think you forgot that women don't think logical. They think emotionally. That's how they based their decisions in life in general.
@@JPogi690 I didn’t know it at the time. I know it now.
@@rufusekester6612 go away spam!
@@albertodeulofeu5277Did she contact you back?
Watched these videos for 8 months. We're officially at the point where everything is completely reversed. Not answering her and she I trying very very hard. She won't actually just come home but she won't stop trying with me either. I explained my boundary to her. If she wants to even try again with me she has to come speak to me in person, she left to Texas from pa when she left me. I'm doing very good, whether she shows up or not doesn't matter anymore. It'll be ok everyone, I literally don't remember the first 2 months when this happened. But it does get better. Give them space, focus on yourself and become the best you you can be for you. Everything will work out the way it's supposed to, we just don't know it yet 🤗
So, when / if attraction fades (i.e. desire, motivation toward the other person), that doesn't always mean due to issues with the other person, but it could be due to difficulties in their own life e.g. onset of depression (for whatever reason e.g. post natal), feeling overwhelmed due to recent life events, not sure what they want from the future, confusion etc. In such a cases, it is hard to take it personally when it has nothing to do with you (i.e. the one being dumped or pulled away from) and you wonder why the relationship or dating can't co-exist (which it could), but I guess it just adds pressure to the already existing "issues" and thus doesn't make for a good relationship. Addition: I guess also when the person's relationship with their self is not healthy, then this could affect the relationship with their other half and thus lead to own issue / life events causing a breakup or pull away.
I think this is what’s happened to me. She said she’s not happy with her life and doesn’t know what she wants in a relationship. she is still open to talking to me but very little so I’ve gone no contact I didn’t beg or plead I just said i respect your decision but feel we are meant for each other. She has since cut her hair and is trying to go back to school. I’ve heard from a mutual friend. I know no one else is in the picture because she doesn’t have much social life only me and the mutual friend as well as her family.
This is my exact situation
If I could only talk to you about what has happened through the scope of our relationship in the last 3 years, this would be exactly what has happened. It’s so sad but it has happened and I can’t change anything besides myself from this point on.
I can so relate to this. My ex was under incredible pressure and then his mom fell and right after that is when I got "the text". He was overwhelmed and went into a major depressive episode. He's on meds for that. It's been 3 weeks and I don't expect anything to happen but I surely am feeling better about a lot of things now. Thank you for reminding us that it isn't about us most of the time. :-)
This is EXACTLY my situation right now. I’m wondering if there’s even hope
I just want to know how many times coach Lee has said "no contact" in his lifetime 😅
P.S. I'm a huge fan and appreciate all you do!
Yo fake comments over here. Where the mods at????
I honestly feel like this is a lesson for me. I was not a good bf and just in a depressed and angry state and pushed her away. She’s got tired of it and just blocked me on everything and I don’t hate that or blame her . It still hurts like hell because she’s already with someone else and I’m in the beginning of having to restart my life because I wasted most of it. It’s Hrd I was alone before I met her and when I was with her I didn’t even try to better my life it’s almost as if I used her as an excuse not to change. It all catches up to you in the end.
I WON THE BATTLE OF NO CONTACT AND NO POST ON SOCIAL MEDIA, 😁😁😁😁
It’s nice to hear Coach Lee’s voice, gentle and gentle
My goodness Lee that is powerful. No one has intense content like that, that has to be your most valuable video for me so far. I'm so grateful to you, and this has given my nc a huge boost today. Phenomenal 💖
Absolutely love Coach Lee. The most real and best relationship coach on UA-cam. Keep it up brother! ✊🏾
Loving the new intro, Coach Lee! 😁 Immediately Liked the video once that new intro pop-ed out hahaha. Once again whatever you said really hits the spot, it's like you're telling my life story on the breakup. Can totally relate. Hoping 2021 will be a better year for all of us. Thanks for the video Coach! ❤️
As usual....real advice and counseling 👍
Love ya coach Lee! You saved me so much heartache and wasted time. Bless you & thank you.
I like the way you present the ideas to give life back to our relationship. Unfortunately, this works with those who don't have mental disorder. It is a huge shock when you discover after all the steps taken to revive the relationship that your ex is not a normal person. Thanks a lot.
Coach Lee is awesome. So direct and concise. Love his style and advice, has helped me a bunch. Thx Coach!!! ❤️
I gotta say, the title of this video is just amazing, love it love it!
Thank you coach Lee! You are very well spoken, your words always make sense to me and convince me to re-think about the breakup in a positive way
Just love your self control when you talk about other people's comments. You do very well.
The ex- has to learn the hard way because most likely they didn't put any serious thought behind their decision to break up, they acted emotionally and not rationally. The hard lesson happens when the honeymoon ends abruptly, both reality and karma come into the equation and they both become unavoidable.
Getting better and better everyday! Thank you Lord🙏🏽
I'm about to give up waiting for him. But, thank you so much for giving me another hope through your videos, especially this video.
I really value coach Lee and his videos. This is the first video I’ve listened to where I have to respectfully disagree on a particular area. Although it’s true that it’s out of our control if the other person broke up with us, I don’t believe we lost anything as long as we were authentic, kind and true to ourselves. You can’t lose something that you never had in the first place. If they don’t recognize your value and worth, in the end… THEY will be the ones who lost someone valuable.
My ex has to learn the hard way, but i am definitely learning the hard way too!
Coach literally has a video for everything :) great content as always brother keep it up
Wow coach Lee, i´m impressed! The way you put your knowlegde to words is very cool!
This guy is brilliant
Straight to the point and everything he says makes sense
Thankyou
One day I will be better. Thanks Coach and Happy New Year! That last one was a bit better because of you
I love the way this guy breaks down his lectures n drives the point home with examples.
Me too!
I just want to say Thank You for what you do. My ex and I are not back together but I think that's partly because I lack self control and I live in fear he'll forget me and get over me. It's irrational and silly I know and I wish I could find the strength to follow your advice to the letter. With that said, you still have helped me. I was an absolute inconsolable mess for months and some days I still faulter but I am handling things much better and have found some strength. So thank you from the bottom of my heart. I couldn't have gotten to where I am mentally without these videos.
Coach Lee all I can say is your right on track!! WOW YOU GIVE GREAT ADVISE!! TY VERY MUCH!!❤🦋❤
Just what I needed 🙏🏼🙏🏼 I will stay strong 💪 . I hope one day I can get back and share the good news
A week after my ex ended our relationship she texted me “how are you?” At 10pm. I waited till morning to respond and said “ Hey, thanks for reaching out. I’m good. How are you?” She responded with “I’m good.” And that was all. I felt like she didn’t leave me much to work with so I did not respond as I didn’t want to carry the conversation. It’s been 4 months since then and not a word. Things have gotten better but I still think of her everyday.
You did the right thing
Good job. Out of sight out of mind
You can reach out, but that depends on your current mental and emotional state. If you have nothing to lose and you can be prepared to lose her forever then do it. Reach out, if she doesn’t reply or things seem bad, continue with no contact indefinitely. Good luck.
She has very low interest, and other options . I wouldn’t text unless she does and don’t sound overly excited.
Hey. I was in almost the exact same boat as you. Ex reached out 3 months after the breakup. He seemed thoughtful and I responded happily but wasn’t overeager and didn’t carry the conversation. A month later, still haven’t heard from him, so I reached out as I wanted to know if it was time to move on (4 months after the breakup) as I was driving myself nuts thinking and hoping every single day. Sure enough, he still isn’t that into me but we both quenched our curiosity about each other. It sucks but I feel like I got my closure and feel relieved. Do what’s best for your mental health-I get that you may want her back, but women have many options and you don’t want to spend years hung over on the same chick.
I was dumped on Facebook ! They wanted to be friends at a “ later date “ blocked and immediate no contact !
coach lee is my go to and has saved my entire life, thank you
I love coach Lee's expressions..... He is simply awesome ❣️
Coach Lee is absolutely right!
Thank you Coach Lee
I m so tired of this toxic cycle of breaking up with this leo! His behavior is so selfish & self-centered. I blocked him for 6months & his behavior has barely changed. I m done
It's been a while Coach Lee, but I'm impressed by the graphics and camera quality upgrades to this video!
OK...I just learned something new today. Limerance. I looked up the definition and there is a lot about it....often connected with people wit OCD.
Fascinating. It helps to explain many things my particular situation. Coach Lee...THANK YOU!
GOAT Lee 🐐
"A lot of people say, 'An ex is an ex for a reason,' and we all read that in my comments section and think the person typing it is just brilliant..." - So glad you said that! I get sick of these people on here thinking they're such experts, when in reality I actually wonder how much love any of them even really have in their own hearts. Think about it: if you can give up and just move on so easily after being dumped, maybe you yourself didn't really love the other person as much as you thought either.
Nobody can move on when they are in pain, but a painful heart acts in desperation, loneliness, and low self esteem.
100 percent true
@@bellagold8341 WOW!! Just what I was looking for; somebody to bring my "x" back. Would you like my account number and password?
I'm pretty sure that you can do miracles. Where have you been? There were a few things I forgot to tell my father before he passed away, can you bring "him" back too?
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Makes me wonder why they are hear watching the videos of they’re so strong
Thanks Coach Lee.... I hope dumpers see your videos and learn....
i love you. i love this video.
this so perfectly describes my ex.
at this point i have already started moving on which is great.
i feel bad for her honestly. i knew this to some degree but to hear it from a professional and hear it articulated like this is so satisfying.
Coach lee your video makes me cry... I hold on to your word.. He never forget me at all because of the happy memories weve been together before.. Thank you coach lee you made me stronger..
Keep doing no contact. He'll realize it soon. And if he doesn't, he's not for you. My ex called me crying after he found out I was dating. So date, meet people but don't use them as a tool to replace your ex. And don't have any expectations of anyone
Coach lee my husband came to me and said theres no chance of getting back together but i dont know its quite confusing because he came to kiss and hug me.he is in a rebound his woman is pregnant.. I dont know what to do do i allow to continue doing that to me since i know he is in another woman.. He came to me and he go to the another one.. Quite confusing coach lee what should i do pls help me..
Coach Lee is awesome. I love to go walking and just play one of his videos and listen to it in my air pods. not only am I getting exercise that helps make me feel better during the “focusing on yourself stage” I can also use his videos as motivation to keep on keeping on when times get hard and I just wanna cry
One of the best relationship coach i have ever seen. It helps me to get my ex 1 year ago after breaup. He help me keep motivated for no contact.
Never thought i would be landing here...but seriously your videos help me become better version of myself
Thank you Coach Lee...I’m still going to schedule a one-on-one though 😌
“Great, be you... Do you” 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I love it coach lee!!
I agree! Keep your bad advise over there please
Saved to my ‘favorites’ playlist :)
Aha! This totally explains the break up. Thank you for sharing.
I always enjoy learning from you coach, u r amazing. Thank you for helping me out with your knowledge and advice, u have really helped me out so much.
My ex kept keeping me around saying she loved me on day and wanted to work things out. The next she was wanting me to move on. A lot of back and forth as this happened more than once. I finally was able to put my foot down yesterday and told her this needs to stop and said my goodbyes. No contact has finally started started for real this time as of last night as I continue to work on myself. Thank you Coach Lee!
What happened?
Any updates?
Update?
Bro im in the same exact situation what happened next did she came back?
At least we haven’t broken up coach lee 😊 love your videos your awesome 👏
Been watching your videos for 2 months...one message for everyone..they will come back the day you dont care and let go
I stopped caring almost a month ago but he hasn't reached out yet. I can see from his social media that he's busy talking to too many girls...
NC is really worked! He reached me out at 21 days of NC and we come back to be together now :)
Good information. Lee is the man.
Yes he is!
Here again, got throught one break up already, now it's second
Good luck to all, you deserve be loved
Thanks for guidance and mindfulness. I was full of disbelief and anxious hope when i started watching you. I hoped with all my heart she comes back in 3-4 months. Now, 11 months later i realised either something is wrong with her or she never loved me if she can just cross me out of her life like that never even peeking into my social media once.
Now i am numb. Now i am indifferent. Now i don't feel love for her anymore. I think i am ready to give up on her. Let her be. Because she never truly loved me. Goodbye my love.
Wisdom to live by...
I ❤ Lee....
I like the way he said “ That’s alright,be you do you “ 😂💯
Love the new intro 🔥😁
this video is really for smart people only , who treully falled in love , thank you coach
I liked this video a lot Lee, and I also took a lesson away about what love really is!
Still doing the no contact. 2 years now and I can only move forward to new and better. Do I miss him. Yes sometimes. I miss our music connection. But hopefully I find some one else who loves Strait as much as me.
I watch your videos every day to give me the strength to stick with it.
Sigh same here...there are days i feel so strong and some days i feel so lonely...
My ex broke up with me 2,5 months ago. I can tell you, these videos do help you very much and are helping you to stick to no contact
@@abacosmetology675 update???
Wow lol the visuals have changed at the beginning of the video awesome 👌
Coach Lee is the truth
Thank you Coach Lee for your videos. It was on this video that I decided to message my ex who had broken up with me a month ago. Your videos helped get me through these last 30 days. I broke the no contact rule because I knew they wouldn't say anything. But I knew from my heart I wanted them to be happy with or without me so I let them know. It was a short but kind text exchange. Whether they would ever want me back or not, I know I have to go on with my own life. And we both will be ok. I am focusing on my goals and dreams more than ever and enjoying the things I love.
How are you doing now?
how did it go?
Life is ebb and flo. Sometimes a person hurts you, you lose a career, something outside of your control derails a plan, but we all can recover. It's easy to be present when you're in pain, so my goal is to be more present when I am in the peaks of life.
❤🌸
Oooo fancy new intro I like it 👏🏻
Thank you coach Lee. Just what I needed to hear.
I am learning a ton with these videos. A thought for you coach, the no contact rule, is it also considering the four attachment styles fearful avoidant dismissive avoidant, secure and anxious avoidant when applying your techniques?
Very good knowledge to know. Wisdom on a crazy level Coach. I thank you especially for the fact of learning the hard way. I learned that as well with my break up. And I hope she does too even within a rebound
You are a genius of how love works ❤️THANK YOU for this
I like your channel very true but optimistic and mature
Waking up at 5am finding a new video of Lee telling you for the 150th time to do no contact hehe
Thank you I get strength here
My ex contacted me after 13 days of nc on 30th to wish me merry Christmas and i warmly and politely responded...but then I didnt say anything on NY ... it's now the start of day 5
Maybe he will learn the hard way!
Unless you have other suggestions haha
You are right as long as the ideas such as : "there is a reason to call them ex" or " i am not just gonna just settle down for any body" or " i love you but i am not in love" or " i don't feel the butterfly in my stomach" or so many many other feelings and expressions, nothing gonna change and it will be pandemic. This society is different than our parents or grandparents. This society is stubborn and very opinion oriented. The "bad" role models or supporters of divorce are growing fast. no body wants to commit,everybody body wants freedom with zero commitments. This issue is expanding like a virus in the west. It seems everybody is raising somebody's else kids..Seems the whole thing is against the original family value...Moving on to 2021 i am not hopeful any change at all or even it gets worse. You and your generation of trying to advice the dumpers, will vanish soon..unfortunately.
Things change in the past 2 decades hugely...we live in a society where divorce is a norm now...the rate is skyrocket...
I have nothing else to add just we all must get used to single life for ever and hopefully when we get old we are still able to change our diapers....
Thank you coach Lee .. I staying strong on no contact
I recently discovered your videos and have basically been binge watching them. I love your content/ approach. These videos are helping me through a recent break up. I’m currently doing no contact and ran into my ex walking out of the store yesterday. I think I noticeably frowned and just waved at him and kept it moving. The next day he took our picture of off his Instagram, Did I blow it? I have not contacted him but it’s only been a week since our break up.
What you said you did did not sound like you blew it. Just stay in no contact.
Wow, that was an amazing video.. I don’t see much on no contact -if you had to say good bye .. like because of being cheated on.. and yes I know people say walk away room cheaters forever ... but they too can learn... maybe we have been there maybe not but I’d love to see more on cheating and the dynamics...
Coach Lee your advise is golden it's helping me a lot to get through this heartbreak and it has helped me realize that I am the master of my own mind and getting back with my ex is MY choice not theirs. My life has been improving in all aspects since the moment I decided to be the master of my own mind and my own emotions. If my ex decides she wants to come back it will be my choice to accept it not hers.
@@Codedkhalifa I would like to hear about your story. How did it happen?
@@Codedkhalifa spell caster?
Looking back all the signs were there. Line drops of doubts. But when you are in love you have selective hearing. 3 month after NC, I sent her a courteous text New Years Eve; that’s when I found out she moved to a different city. It’s over! The first month I was in pure emotional hell, I can honestly say it still hurts, it was so disappointing but, I feel 80% better. Time heals! (Don’t follow who’s not ready to receive your love)