MY LIFE POST AUTISM/ADHD DIAGNOSIS| Embracing Awkward
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- Опубліковано 13 вер 2024
- #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #autism #audhd #autistic #aspergerssyndrome
In this video I talk about my current situation and the pros and cons of an Autism diagnosis.
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I’m 37. Some of my family often tried to say that I didn’t have ADHD or Autism. My family is from the Carribbean. MH is still a taboo. It was something to hide.
Same here. More specifically Haitian. Lawd tha way they be ostracizing anything outside of their perception of their ideal is astounding 🙃🙃
my brother tries to tell me that i don’t have autism or adhd, and he always tells me that i need to stop bringing it up and using it as an excuse. needless to say, we barely have a relationship
Sorry to hear that, hopefully he comes around at some point. You always have a community here ❤️
The first couple years after I got diagnosed were very hard for me. I had a TON of meltdowns as I struggled to process how people reacted, how I felt, figure out what I needed for accommodations, etc. i was so confused why i was struggling when i was so happy to have answers.
i feel so much more settled now years out. i’ve figured out accommodations, what to share about myself and what I found is better not to share to avoid other peoples’ ignorance, and years of therapy to help me feel centered and not broken and have more self awareness.
You’re at a tough stage and I wish you the best!!
If you were to tell me, I’d say “fuck yeah! ONE OF US! 👏🏽 ONE OF US!👏🏽”
You're courage & transparency is so valuable. Thank you 🫂
I’ve had a very similar experience. Im 25 and I just got my diagnosis in July and I’ve had one very stressful conversation with my parents about it. I knew they wouldn’t understand fully. But I’ve been struggling mentally for a few years now and that wasn’t a secret. I hoped the diagnosis would make them ask more questions and be more understanding to my needs. But the reality is that I feel like they think if they acknowledge it too much then they’re treating me bad. And I also have my own issues with a little internalized ableism towards myself and feeling weird about asking for help. But me mentioning that I’m disabled prompts my dad to believe that I’m being “negative” about myself. And that I just need to look at it from a different point of view. They don’t understand that I’m not being negative but I’m changing my point of view on how I can do things for the sake of my health and sanity. That I feel I CAN do things with the right supports. Luckily I have a partner that is very supportive and understanding and while I feel like my sisters might not ask as many questions as I’d like, they are also very understanding of my feelings. It’s not that I feel like my parents don’t care. I know they do and that’s some solace, but it’s a very frustrating time right now with not feeling heard and understood by them and hopefully that will get better in time. But I know that I also can’t hold their hands at this moment in time because I am still very much going through it mentally
This 👆🏾
As a teacher, this hurts my heart. There is a CRAZY dissonance between the incredibly stringent and legally binding standards in place by IEPs and 504 plans, and the complete lack of inclusive practices in the workforce. We almost overly-accommodate for children in K-12, only to strip everything away in the workforce.
Due to capitalism and corporate greed, we know that accommodations are wildly unlikely to be implemented in the workspace. As a neurodivergent adult trying to navigate these spaces, how do you think IEPs and other accommodations in schools impact children who become ADULTS with disabilities?
Recently got diagnosed and i relate so much to your experience. The feeling of wanting to be understood after trying so hard to find the answers for yourself. Its an isolating experience
Thanks for sharing, I'm 35 and what you describe about yourself at this moment is very similar to where I'm right now.
I’m 28 with ADHD and a son with autism. Sending you a huge hug. I’m really struggling and am in a bit of a dark place. I don’t feel understood. I’m mis perceived often. Life is so freaking hard for me and I wish I could learn how to cope like everyone else seems to do. I’m doing things to get out of my fear and anxiety mind set while dealing with all of the other things being a mom with ADHD come with. I think I’ll post about it and hopefully help others like you are doing 💚 God bless
Thanks! Good luck to you and your son!
the fact that you would get asked "if you're sure" when both afab people and poc are wildly underdiagnosed... 😭honestly heartbreaking.
anyway i hope you can find ways that work for you! be sure to be gentle and patient with yourself, it's been a few years since my diagnosis and i'm still figuring out like groundbreaking facts about my autism that psychologists don't (or can't bc of resources) tell you about.
also diagnostic assessment can be such a drawback. I have gone to my GP with medical issues that I had to insist on getting looked at better bc they were basically just like "eh, you're autistic so that's why" (It wasn't why, I have an autoimmune disorder that needed treatment. help.)
Thank you for taking time to share your experience. I recently went for an evaluation and was told I have Audhd ( I’m 31). I haven’t gone to get the second evaluation for the next step in formal diagnosis because it’s just not in my budget at the moment. I haven’t told any of my family because I know they wouldn’t believe and they have a narrow view of what Audhd is. So I’m trying to find ways for me to help myself like starting therapy and seeing a therapist to help me learn more and figure what my life can look like. It’s been an odd combination of grief and shock and simultaneously relief for myself. So all that to say is finding your videos has really helped me feel like I’m not alone and like other people can also relate to what I’m going through. For myself I’m finding the late diagnosis giving me an answer for why I always felt lonely and out of place but at the same time I feel lonely because no one I know is dealing with similar. Sorry that’s such a long comment. But I appreciate all the time you take to share your experiences.
I am the same as you, I went for private diagnosis all the tests pointed to yes you have autism, the final test to get the official diagnosis was out of my budget at the time and then my husband lost his job. But I saw a neurologist right before he did and the neurologist said all of my symptoms were from masking my whole life and my body was in fight or flight mode. I’m 34 and have 4 children so yeahhhhh lol
I am so happy to have found your channel…God works in funny ways but he answers…please keep the videos coming. The info you give is helping myself as a 42 yr old single mom with AuDHD and two girls that are also AuDHD…we are all high functioning but on complete different levels…ur video about Autism and unemployment caught my attention…so glad to be here, my life has seem to be so out of control but now I understand and am getting help…this emotional roller coaster is wild🥰
for me the most disappointing thing post diagnosis was when I realized how much of the recent years 'pro-autism' talk (or how to call it) is just empty PR. I knew that most DEI statements that companies have on their pages mean nothing, but somehow I was under this illusion that all (especially IT) companies that speak up on the behalf of neurodivergent people actually mean it. That was the hard wake up call to see that the companies aren't ashamed to use even a medical disability diagnoses for PR only but in reality they will not hire you if you dare to ask for even the smallest accommodation during interview and literally ghost you (and yes, that includes corp like IBM)
Thanks for each and every time you "share" 💓.
I'm on a waitlist for my assessment currently and I had to reach out to my mom since they asked for some information from someone who knew me when I was 5 and under. I was so nervous asking her if she'd fill out the survey information and she was very supportive! I was more nervous about my dad finding out and discouraging her from doing it since he told me point blank when I was 18 that he didn't believe in depression. I think his thoughts on that may have improved over time (it's been 20 years), but I don't know for certain. We'll see how that goes when it goes. I'm sorry that your parents aren't as understanding :(
You are the same person after the diagnosis as you were before. People have a hard time when they don't see you that way. Understanding yourself and making choices based on the new knowledge can be freeing and increase self-esteem over time. It can take other people time to catch up with it.
this and i also think it helps when ur able to connect with others that are neurodivergent so you feel less alone and understood. whether that be in a online group or in person, it can be rlly helpful
Thank you for sharing this. 💜
Your story is very relatable; the challenges that come with the validating and enligtening discovery of my Autism and how then do I fit in a world that basically stays the same. Everything changes but nothing changes ..content creators like your self and the communities around them have been invaluable 🖖💛
Thank you!
I like your channel and I value your stories. Keep sharing. You are not alone. ❤😊
The world is still trying to figure out high functioning any situation. On the one hand I think a diagnosis can really help someone finally understand why they are the way they are, but in the world there will still be stigma and misunderstanding. It’s frustrating.
Having videos like these are helping others be seen and heard.
Thank you for sharing how things have been for you. I have two children diagnosed with autism and that is what made me look at myself. We had to go through a long assessment that took weeks for both of them and still people ask if we're sure or they tell us that we should not tell them. We discuss it all the time with them so they know how to function in the world and not be hard on themselves for things they have diffculty with. We are also preparing them to work without the pressure of being normal.
I think family and friends grieve too. They hope that you will someday "get it together "and the diagnosis might make them worry for you. People have strange ways of showing that they care when they don't have the tools. Also, if you have one autistic person in the family, chances are, there are others. They may see themselves in you and they are not ready to face that.
Agreed, thanks for the comment!
Thank you for sharing!! As a young, black woman navigating life in general…I feel that I’m on this journey with you as I’ve been working with my therapist on my adhd diagnosis and want to find a psychiatrist I can afford to get any and all formal diagnoses. I feel like it’ll help me figure out where I should go from here
Thank you so much hon. Appreciate you sharing. Very professional approach. I hope more ppl like and sub coz you deserve it.
Just describing your experience can help others relate. The emotional intelligence and coping mechanisms are the most important part of keeping yourself safe on this journey. ❤
thank you for sharing this, its so nice to know that i’m not alone! i have a similar story, and it can feel very isolating and shameful. 26, college dropout, no job, had to move back home, single, etc. it’s rough. i’m trying to go back to school so that i can at least finish my degree. i hope i can get back on my feet and move out again. i feel you about people not understanding your diagnoses or even attempting to understand them :( it’s disheartening
Oh, Hello! This is new! I say this because I have been looking into PDA Autism, and there's little new online.
I'm sorry to hear of your frustrating "big reveal", which flopped. I was there, once, six years ago when I was diagnosed, and now I'm 62 lol. One of my kids said, "Well, that doesn't excuse all your ishy parenting!"
The thing is, I wasn't offering excuses for "all'' my ishy parenting but only an explanation or framework in which to understand "some" of it LOL
💗💗💗
I thought this too! 😅
Everyone who has a home, lives at home.
How can I get a diagnosis?
5:18 i just don't think people care enough, I learned people don't ask questions about anything anymore. nobody's curious anymore, lol nobody really wants to understand. not everybody, but a lot of people are very self-absorbed and that just is what it is, if it doesn't affect them in anyway they don't care.
8:42 I think it's parents not wanting to feel like they failed as a parent "well this isn't my fault" mentality so they want to mask the truth. that sucks,
Search for a neurodevelopmental psychologist in your area and see if they provide Autism/ADHD diagnoses in your network! Might be able to reach out and see if they can provide a sliding scale as well.
Your family is right to ask “are u sure?” Those medical professionals won’t make any money by telling you that you do not have those diagnoses so of course they are going to say that you have them! Follow the money!
The medical professionals making money is not contingent on somebody having autism. you have to pay to go through the diagnosis. So whether or not you have it, they still get paid. Her family asking her if she is sure is a very invalidating thing to do. You coming to the internet affirming their invalidation is also invalidating and wild. They do not need to understand autism to know they should support her as she navigates this process. It is the bare minimum. Asking if she is sure does absolutely nothing but invalidate her.
@@papertape7911facts. You could go through a non profit organization and STILL be met with the nonsense 🙃
What money trail?? You pay up front for an autism diagnosis, whether you have it or not, then that’s it. There’s no treatment for autism. They can’t prescribe you meds for autism. If someone takes meds it’s usually for comorbid conditions like anxiety and depression, and even then the evaluators are not the ones prescribing it. They might give recommendations (my evaluator recommended occupational therapy as an example) but they don’t do it.
There is very little to gain monetarily by handing out autism diagnoses. The place I got my diagnosis was an autism research center and they had scholarships to help people afford a diagnosis. They literally give money away to get people diagnosed and then send them on their way lol
I hope my tone isn’t off; I’m not trying to combative or angry.
they’re getting paid whether or not you get a diagnosis lmao. they’re not getting a commission or meeting a quota 😂