Lines you wouldn’t hear in a James Bond film | Mock The Week - BBC
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- Опубліковано 22 вер 2016
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Watch the BBC first on iPlayer 👉 bbc.in/iPlayer-Home The performers suggest lines that you wouldn’t hear in a James Bond film from the final round of Mock The Week, Scenes We’d Like To See.
Dara O Briain and Hugh Dennis mock the events of the last seven days with guests James Acaster, Rob Beckett, Gary Delaney, Elis James and Sara Pascoe.
Mock the Week | Series 15 Episode 9 | BBC Two
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times when I used to binge watch these for days
The time to repeat that is now
Currently living in your past. 👍
i used to the exact same thing, oh hell who am i trying to kid i do the same thing now
That guy who laughed early on the train joke..
Louis Gordon 😂😂😂
“No thank you Q, I’ll take the Prius!”😂😂😂😂😂
Best one was "Well, we finally meet at last Mr. Bond - I'm from the Child Support Agency!!" 🤣🤣🤣
"you're not a very positive person are you?" "the names Bond, ionic Bond"
Aoife O'Shea
I'm sure with that line, you can really build the chemistry.
Um, if he’s not very positive (or negative), surely he would be Covalent Bond.
Ironic
“Taken, not shared.”
Christ, I’m a nerd.
Although I'll always miss the old days of Frankie, Andy, Russel, Ed etc I am really liking this new talent , they seem to get along really well. Plus I love Hugh there to pass the torch on.
It is an easier watch now. They aren't all desperately trying to get in their jokes.
Andy and Frankie has some epic stuff in the day
Frankie was never good
@@lewiskelly14 i have got a girlfreind no thank you . are they suggesting bond is gay
@@lewiskelly14 don't talk a lot of shite 😂
That mandatory sexual harassment line was awesome :D
yep
"Poofinger: The man with the fecal touch."
"I want you to find Goldeneye...I can't see properly without my other contact lens."
"For goodness sake. Can't ANYONE shoot straight? You've fired over 200 rounds at him and not even a scratch"!
Who's back here after Hugh's appearance in No Time To Die?
yeah i was so surprised seeing him in it. Hope he'll comment when the show comes back.
@@madiam4u great news, they did
Q. "Here's a nifty gadget you'll like, Bond. It's actually been around for quite a while... It's called a 'condom' "
I was just thinking there should be a condom-joke.
The name's Bond, Terry Bond. I don't have a license to kill, but I can legally operate a forklift, only that doesn't count for anything, DOES IT, MUM?!
"I'm James Bond, and I never use a condom because I'm sterile."
Dead
That last joke isn't something you'd hear in a James Bond movie, but it IS something you'd see in a Kingsman Movie.
1:39 "It's another gadget, Bond. This is a way to distract your opponents -- some light-up trainers, for no reason." One of my favorite gags of this season.
"You know what? Bang. You're dead. ... God, that was easy. How has no one tried this, before?"
"Just a routine stop, Mr Bond. License please. I'm very sorry, Mr Bond, but this license to kill expired last month. You could get in serious trouble for chasing villains without a valid license, Mr Bond."
The fact that Hugh Dennis is now acc in a bond film 😂
I find my self using “oooo 7” in a very camp way in my day to day life
4 years later, who knew James would be so right about the phone? XD
It was the same back then too though
This was the funniest "Lines You Wouldn't Hear" in a long time
who’s here after seeing hugh in No time to die!
“Bond, James Bond, has no time to die… meanwhile, Dennis, Hugh Dennis, died in no time” *makes finger gun and aims and shoots at Hugh Dennis*
Double o eighteen months 😂😂
That rail ad should become real :D
Those trainers are awesome :D
the guy in the glasses was best
Gary Delaney?
yup
What he said is frighteningly relevant these days.
Cool how Hugh Dennis was in No Time to Die
''You have saved my life how could i repay you? By 12 monthly instalments of £4,000 plus interest and 3.1% apr terms and conditions apply''
These are fantastic
7 Q's are in a pub discussing their best gadgets, each of the first six list off their best when the seventh interrupts with an "ooops, wrong room, meant to visit Picard, clicks his fingers and vanishes in a flash of light."
Some real gems here
after seeing hugh in no time to die i want him to play q
hugh sounds exactly like a charecter from james bond
How do you expect me to colour, felt tip, crayon, pen? No Mr Bond, i expect you to dye.
Derek Clear - I must try to remember this - nice one
The guy in the glasses looks like an older version of Lenard from the Big Bang theory aha
Hannah Batte ... I've always said that too 😊😊
Gary Delaney?
this is one of the best ones 🤣😭
Bring back Mock The Week. I a suffering withdrawals. You must know how uch people love it or we wouldn't be here.😢
I like Sara's trainers...and it's good to have her back.
(waiting on... someone to upload the whole episode to UA-cam now that I need a licence to use iPlayer)
I like her shoes and her shirt.
‘Martini, stirred not shaken’
James, I’ve just had a joint call from HR and the legal department.. what’s this about you going round saying you have a *”licence to kill”* ?
It was revoked.
"Coming soon, November 2020"
I wasted years waiting for that film! 007 faces his most challenging opponent: Janet from MI6's HR department!
''Bond these are for your eyes only. Make sure nobody snaps Kate Middleton naked again''
"Hello, Mr Bond. I am your son from "The Living Daylights". The way you spread your seed, don't be surprised that you have children, daddy."
You know what rested 😂
0:19 that's where apple got that idea
Got what idea? The same idea that every smartphone company has had?
@@johnmartinez7440 how many other companies are selling a premium phone without a charger?
The "new charger" joke aged very well
And now of course the EU will destroy that joke with their new law about same charger for phones..... *snickers*
Gary Delaney was the star of that one 👍
The guy with the glasses is so underrated (Don't know his name😥)
Gary Delaney
I want Sarah pascoe’s trainers that light up they look amazing 😍😍😍
James acaster predicted the iPhone 12 4 years ago
my entry: 'thats the last you will see of me' ... said the alcoholic.
the distracting your apponents line from James Acaster was aimed at Sara Pascoe
1:53 is my favorite.
"My name is Bond. James Bond. And I'm an alcoholic"
Here is your martini sir. Holy crap this is strong. Could you water it down for me please.
"A bottle of brown ale for me".
My entry:
"I love you"
"Bond, it's Moneypenny. I've come back for an update, Manchester City is out of the Champions League
Probably the best lineup without an Ed in it
Very funny
i’m annoyed no body said
“mr bond shit sorry i want expecting you”
Excellent product placement on the bbc
''Here take this its called a mint your breath stinks''
A long time ago in a galaxy far far away
My name is Bond. James tax-exempt municipal Bond
"Choke on that, and that, and that! The third one has the best gas mileage in this century, and maybe the next."
#height o' the alpha class
Poor sara
Oooooooh seven
I've got one..Bond :".let's get married?"
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tracy_Bond
He was married, to Tracy. 😁
Things you wouldn’t hear in a James Bond film
keep your hair on mate
Not tonight honey, I have a headache.
The first joke is true, I have asked.
They could have said Stirred not shaken.
Or was that a different spy either way it works
does anyone know what dara obrien actually said at the end?
"At the end of that, the points go to James, Hugh and Gary!"
James '); DROP TABLE agents;-- Bond
Arthur Bloveilt? Wasn't he in ram jam?
Sorry it’s my time of the month , a line I never heard in a bond film
Great to think Sara pascoe was in a Robbie Williams music video. It was she's the one
0:19 this aged well
Met Felt.
The Fool Nine Scotland Yards
This will be the last bond film
Here's another new gadget, Bond.
A weapon not made from animals or animal products that can kill 2 people at once.
It's called a V-Gun.
Remember when they used to have funny comedians who weren’t pressured to censor them selves? now we have this
I know this was from ERB, but here goes my entry. "I'm so Far up Dr. No's Nuts I called myself Bond. Gold Bond"
You're so far up on my nuts. I should call you bond. Gold bond.
British humor....sometimes I get it, sometimes not. This is one of those times.
did Mock have like, an anti-endorsement from Southern Rail?? seemed like it was obligatory to take a shot in them in every one of these
Does anyone know which one had rob go “the names bond, James Bond I’ve got a license to kill and I’ll have a martini shaken not stirred.” And then goes “oh wait that’s just what he says innit” am I going mad or is that an actual one that actually happened? Because I can’t find it anywher
OO-7
James Acaster to be the next Bond!
"Thank you for the car, Q, but could I get a monster truck instead?"
Anyone know the Welsh guys name?
Elis James
are they shooting from the hip? Or teleprompter?
Neither. It is not live. All is pre-structured.
Gonna steal one from American WLIIA and say "No, thank you M, I'll take the Hyundai"
VILLAIN: I WILL KILL YOU, BOND!!!!!
BOND: Not if I get replaced by another actor...
i found about 4 of those comments amusing more Q jokes
The first joke, I'm sorry what? 😂😂
Woo-woo is an alcoholic cocktail consisting of vodka, cranberry juice and peach schnapps (Archers)
Bloody hell 😂😂
now do you get it??
I sure do 😂
"the names Bond, James Bond.. And I believe in feminism"
"And before I kill you Mr Bond... I must show you a PowerPoint presentation"
Hugh, should definetly changed his name
Change it to Hugh Freeloan supercheap Dennis