Lines you wouldn't hear in a TV detective show | Mock the Week - BBC
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- Опубліковано 1 жов 2014
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Watch the BBC first on iPlayer 👉 bbc.in/iPlayer-Home Hugh Dennis, Andy Parsons, James Acaster, Ed Byrne, Sara Pascoe and Josh Widdicombe suggest 'lines you wouldn't hear in a TV detective show'.
Comedy show combining the best elements of panel show, stand-up and improvised games with two teams of comedians taking a satirical swipe at the news and world events.
Mock The Week | Series 13 Episode 10 | BBC Two
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camp Hugh Dennis at the end was just everything!
lisalilsmartass Couldn't agree more.
I know, totally.
Holmes: “The burglar used the yellow door, Watson.”
Watson: “How can you possibly know?”
Holmes: “Lemon entry, Watson.”
I dislike you immensely
I know no one will believe this, but I was going to make this exact joke. Qudos!
well then the burglar must have been remarkably unendowed, to attempt such a feat; unless there was an enormous amount of damage to the entrance thereafter, resulting in more of a hosepipe-gauge stream
“In fact there was no murder at all! Lady Chatterington-Smythe died of chronic constipation!”
“No-shit, Sherlock?”
“Exactly, Watson!”
"So, Holmes, what sort of school do you think the pedophile will strike next?"
"Elementary, my dear Watson!"
Sarah Holman This made me chortle!
Sarah Holman well, with sherlock being british, he wouldnt say elementary.
Cantabrigian Elementary is the American version of Sherlock.
🤦🏻♂️
@@wrenbird8214 i think you meant, "Elementary is the American version of Primary." we Americans also call the fictional detective (invented by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle) Sherlock Holmes, or at least those of us well-read enough to know such fiction exists; i don't waste my time talking to those that don't
"Oh you said it was a who done it. Err... Yeah we arrested Hugh Dennis." That's my favourite line.
Continuity Announcer: "This week's episode of Midsomer Murders has been cancelled as no one died for the first time in a ten year history."
"Another murder in Midsomer, why the fuck don't people just move to Lewisham for the lower crime rate!?"
There's been a murder!? Let me call Inspector Morse! Dot, dot, dash, dash
Rebuffed Raccoon that was actually quite funny 😂😂
. . _ _ means I'm if you left a space
Are you going to arrest me for making lewd childish innuendos?
I hope you don’t expect me to come quietly.
GODAMMIT ED!
I can tell you that's not danish. That was way more coherent than danish.
David Olandersson Just add 5 beers and a scorching hot potato and you’ve got something believable.
I thought it was 'flemish', then 'italian'. I was very surprised when she said it was supposed to be danish.
Herter I.... am Swedish, swedes and danes make fun of each other’s languages... And I come from south Sweden were danish is not particularly rare and Denmark not far away, I can understand danish.
@@ireallylikeshoes Norwegian checking in here. If we loose out right of teasing the Danes for their kartofel, I don't know what to live for.
Danes can, if they want to, understand Norwegian. Just as Norwegians can, if the Danes wants to, understand Danish.
@@helvettefaensatan The fact that Danish, Norwegian and Swedish are mutually intelligible languages is great, honestly. I have it in mind, since my sister is learning Norwegian, to learn Swedish and see how much we understand of each other, just to try it out.
0:44 I'm danish, and that sounds like dutch, norwegian, french and Russian mixed together
Asta Jørgensen ‘plinken plonken’
Asta Jørgensen I am Norwegian, and I didn't really hear a difference between the video and real Danish.
@@09sigfos2 Rude (JK)
That sounded exactly like danish to me (source I’m swedish)
@@annebaudelaire5264 You just stay on your side of the øresund and we will hath no quarrel
Just for the record: Sara Pascoe wasn't speaking Danish.
No Shit Sherlock.
mulrich18 just for the record she was Danish embassy London
She said plinky plonk at one point i believe 😂
Gosh, British Humour means don't point out the bleeding obvious. We know! It's a joke!
@Terence devlin You are so uninteresting.
The last one by Hugh was one of my favorites
"The victim was tortured horribly. All that remains is blood and bone and gristle. Lunch anyone?"
i just love how josh says "very good" to sara after she makes hugh break 😂😂😂😂
This week on Midsummer, we reflect on why there are still people living in Midsummer
"What did you have for dinner, Holmes?"
"Alimentary, my dear Watson"
The best parts of all the SWLTS segments for me are when the other comedians break down after one delivers an especially funny line.
it's rare that it's Hugh that cracks tho, i think i can count on the fingers of one hand, in all the episodes i've seen, the amount of times that's happened
@@CorvusCorone68 I saw him do it on 2 different occasions. I'll try to post links to those segments.
@@carld3218how are those links coming along?
My entry:
"This week on a touch of frost, the inspector comes face to face with his worst enemy yet....the sun"
There's something really loveable about Sara with her reaction to Hugh Dennis after she had done her "line". It looked like an inadvertent hamster impression. See 2:53
"Not so fast, Poirot! No, really, could you slow it down a bit? How exactly was it the butler?"
Alternate version of the "whodunnit" joke: "I heard you said it was a whodunnit, so I ran and arrested Peter Capaldi."
The Doctor? Doctor Who?
I dont know how to solve crimes...but I'm going to guess: It was Reverand Green with the pistol in the bedroom
My entry:
"I don't understand it! I know the clues are right in-front of me and yet I can't make sense of it! At this rate, I'll never finish this crossword."
It's clear why you aren't on this show
''my entry ''judging by this possible trail that's been left behind by the suspect its high likely that he or she had explosive diarrhea''
Tonight on Midsmomer Murders, special guest Sean Bean. For fuck's sake, the dog could solve this one.
Except Sean tends to be the victim.
Really, you'd assume that after the role he played in Goldeneye
Hugh Dennis funny man
Little did Josh know he just summed up a good deal of Johnlock fanfiction.
0:42 Sandi Toksvig - avert your ears!
My Entry
"The butler did it!"
"You are the butler."
"Exactly, I was paid to accuse the victim's wife"
"Then why did you confess?"
"I wasn't paid enough"
Why have they never done "Lines you wouldn't hear on Mock the Week?"
I love Andy Parson's shirt. I want that for myself.
The fashion police xD
Chalk outlines done 17 times? I rest my case.
Hugh should do camp more often, he's very good at it!
My entry:
SHERLOCK: "So... We meet at last... Doctor!"
/TARDIS sounds and drums start to play/ DOOO WEEE OOOO
it's Strange
Not that impossible.Mark Gattis has done several Dr who scripts and appeared in Peter Capaldis last show. And Blink, one of the best episodes ever is very much a thriller featuring the universes most benevolent psychopaths
Hugh Dennis camp is everything
lol the envelope joke got me
“Eet vaz ze butler.”
“Why Poirot, how on Earth do you know?”
“Because ‘Astings, eet eez alvays ze butler.”
From the Murder School of Butlering I guess
Turmaic & Chilie would make a good TV show.
Where did you get those lemons Holmes? A lemon tree Dr. Watson.
You put these three on the thumbnail, ofc I'm gonna watch
Oh Andy's first one XD
Oh my god I miss Rosemary and Thyme
“Let’s see, who was the murderer this time? Young actor, young actor, semi-famous actress, famous actor who has special guest star appearance, well let’s see whodunnit!”
How do you win against Ed, Hugh and James😂
0:45 Dara is confused :)
“No shit, Sherlock!” Classic! 🤣
Godt sproget
Here for James
"So you're telling me that this actually WAS a suicide? There's no way they could've been murdered? Are you absolutely sure?"
3:34 bluegreeners 💙👁👄👁💚
3.32 That is Hugh really voice.
That Danish tho better than mine and it's my mother tongue
That's the joke.
Sara pascoe 😍
AHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
Sorry... I always wanted to say that.
I thought for a second there were two James Acasters in the thumbnail
Hugh Dennis always tries to get in the no shit Sherlock joke in there somewhere
So midsummer murders has been cancelled... everyone’s died
the come quietly joke was originaly done on the thin blue line
hugh at the beginning lo
We're still not sure who shot Biggie and Tupac, but we can rule out the Crips.
Blame the police everyone else does
RSI Miami. Heh.
Holmes: Watson I can solve the case I have dier-rea. Watson: No Shit Sherlock
is James Acaster a relative of the Weasleys?
No. Not since that incident with the grindylow on the Floo Network.
Mathieu Leader OMG LOL THAT IS SO FUNNY, I GET, ITS BECAUSE HE IS GINGER HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
I'm constipated, Watson.
No shit, sherlock.
Was that really Danish Sara was speaking? I heard “plinkin-plonkin” so surely not, or was it?
I liked midsummer because there is no token black person
"The black guy did it"
into my hand. har har.
What’s the bald guys name
Andy Parsons and Dara Ó Briain
I gathered you all here, to let you all know who killed the victim. And to me it was so obvious, cause the gun was in my pocket. I did it, which is why know so soon
Can anyone explain the Danish joke?
It's not fucking danish, it's nonsense.
+Luka Tomasevic There have been several Danish TV series on the TV screens in the UK, especially detective story "The Killing" and political show "Borgen" and they were very well received, although the Brits just don't understand Danish.
Danish crime shows are extremely famous in the UK.
Yes, and I can confirm that Sarah Pascoe does not speak a word of Danish. She is in fact speaking a language called "Gibberish" :)
As opposed to everyone else?
to save wifi connection speeds, watch at 360p. TV resolution over here is awful, so the difference is really unnoticeable
"The American version is better".
HAHAHA
Nathanielle Crawford Unless you are talking about Law & Order
@@Machinegundon64 law and order Is too over dramatic for me
i dont get the danish one
Haha yeah I do speak Danish ... do you?
44th
for a moment I thought Sara was pregnant! :0
She has put on a few pounds right?
As a Dane... that was not danish
That's the joke, pal.
@@GallowglassVT and that was irony... pal
But it was great.
@@tobyhart8515 No agument there m8
@@MCny12 that's not irony, big man
00:42...............Come on Girlie.................that doesn`t sound Danish at all...................." Plinken Plonken "........that`s more like Dutch or German !!!!!!
The Swedish Chef from The Muppet Show is known in Germany as The Danish Chef and goes "Smørrebrød, Smørrebrød, rømtømtømtøm, sooo...."
@@TomFynn Are you pulling my leg here ....😁
@@onkelmarvin8360 Not about one of the icons of my childhood.
@@TomFynn I used to Love The Muppet Show, but why " Se Germans " would change a character into something it`s not, I find illogical and dumb, but since they call The Danes...... " Die Dumme Dänen "......maybe they have some kind of inferiority complex...........probably because of WW2............🤔
4th
Arsenal
how dare you ??? ^^
Det var ikke dansk som Sara Pascoe snakkede. Det var bara en massa vrøvl og ikke særlig morsomt.
True
Pascal is embarrassingly bad
So someone clogged the toilet and I don’t know who. Which pops the question, poo done it?
Sara pascoes jokes were just awkward
Why was the danish thing funny? Is that a stereotype or something?
It was mocking the sudden and inexplicable popularity of Danish detective programmes in the UK.
First
It wasn't even Danish 🤷♀️😂
When you actually speak Danish so you actually know that it was all rubbish
When you know it's a comedy show and don't expect Sara to actually be speaking Danish.
no shit sherlock
Just like your sense of humour
0:42 not Danish, :(
Obviously. Are you new to the concept of "comedy"?
@@gwishart yes
@@leoanker What a miserable life you must lead.
@@gwishart very
WTF 0:41 that wasn’t danish at all. Like not even close. I couldn’t understand a word she was saying and I’m from Denmark
Sara "Not funny" Pascoe
she is funny, sorry you have no sense of humor
@@dontspikemydrink9382 no, she really isn’t
@@Eddiestab subjective
Has Ed or Andy ever been funny?
Wtf was that one about Indian detectives turmeric and chilli I hope it had layers I am not getting or that’s just offensive I can tolerate it if it makes me laugh this didn’t sorry
Spices. It was a spice joke.
Sarah Pascoe just isn't funny... on any tv show I've seen her she isn't telling good jokes ever
I like that you're saying that when she got the biggest laugh in this round
Aaaaaaaand, still not funny.
you have no sense of humor
Unfunny as usual
nope, it is funny, you have no sense of humor
@@dontspikemydrink9382 whatever Trevor 🙄
This is such a terrible tv show