@@caboose3721 Surely you mean Percy Jackson's sword, Anaklusmos. It's a pen which, when you take the cap off, turns into a sword. why? because Greek polytheism, that's why. (The original myth surrounding the sword was that it was a hair clip, or a comb or something.)
>be me, soldier in The Mad Lads >served Great Leader Spiff for almost ten years >retirement day >finally.. after 10 years of service >i get my first full gold coin
@@tyler89557 3 gold per 120 men. 3/120=0.025 per man per season there are 4 seasons. 0.025x4=0.1 So yeah 1 gold per 10 years since 0.1x10=1 Your method of calculating gold per 40 men is a bit convoluted but works too. Must have fucked up on my end before.
The soldiers in the Mad Lads probably just got paid in IOU's. Then the general sends in the dudes with the highest IOU's first so they die and he doesnt have to pay them.
In Medieval times, a Spanish king more or less did that. He had borrowed money from various lords, who were also fighting in the army. Those lords were often sent first into battle, if they died the king didn't have to pay them back what he owed.
26:30 If we assume the "gold" per turn is the Roman Aureus then that means at fifteen aurei per season for the unit, each man is receiving a little over three denarii a season, totalling twelve and a half denarius per year. You later lower this to three gold per turn, which comes out to about two and a half denarius per year per soldier. Before any upkeep drops the ninety gold per turn comes out to seventy-five denarius a year. (This is all assuming that everyone in the unit is being paid the same wages instead of officers being paid significantly more than regular soldiers, of course.) For comparison, historically Roman legionaries could expect to be paid one hundred and twelve and a half denarii per year, later doubled this to two hundred and twenty five denarii a year by Julius Caesar. Furthermore each soldier had to pay for their daily rations from their own pay, and prior to the Marian reforms (in Rome 2 represented by the transition away from Hastati-Principes-Triarii units to Legionary Cohort units) also had to purchase their own weapons and armor before even enlisting. It's true however that Roman soldiers typically supplemented their income through looting and selling slaves, and you did do a lot of conquering and enslaving captives. That being said your auxiliaries are still criminally underpaid and NOT PAYING YOUR AUXILIARIES IS EXACTLY WHY ROME FELL, SPIFFICUS ROMULUS AUGUSTULUS.
@@callusklaus2413No it isn't. The game's one of the most basic strategy games in existence. There's no point in trying to make it something it isn't. It has a simple upkeep value which is inherently basic so just looking further into it is useless and irrelevant. Irrelevance is not great.
Imagine fighting for your life in the roman army and once every month your commander gives your whole unit of 120 men with families to support one single golden coin
That is Total War in general. Their games are the most simplistic of strategy games. Paradox is a good step up in complexity and AGEOD is another step up, especially with their supply system!
@@jchrist5410 You're comparing apples and oranges. The main appeal in Total War is the real time strategy component. It's not trying to be Hearts of Iron/Europa Universalis/whatever.
@@Elintasokas Yeah, the whole reason Spiff is able to do nonsense like this is that the 4X side of Total War is deliberately a bit underdeveloped. It's meant to be a delivery system for the cool RTS battles, not the main appeal.
I remember back in the day, when I played this before Empire edition, I was playing Carthage, I was having a hard campaign. Rome actually just sent a bunch of dudes on boats to attack my capital while I was expanding elsewhere. I had only a tiny garrison. I was like "Oh, well, it's lost, but let's see what happens." Start up battle, load in map. Sit there, wait for romans. ....Apparently they all converted to pacifism or all of their leadership simultaneously had strokes or summat, because they did nothing. For 40 minutes. Next turn the same thing happened. I decided I was done with Rome 2 for a bit.
Same here. Wtf happened?! I even took all my garrison and fired fire arrow to their boat which make them eventually come landed and of course i've lost the battle with a tiny garrison army. How to solve this?!
It's almost what Rome actually did, the senate got army after army of landed citizens killed, and bought their land for cheap. That's why they removed the requirement of owning land in the Marian reforms, no one left was willing to enlist. Its also how they equipped all the new soldiers, they gave them the gear that was left by the fallen on the battlefields.
"How are we even going to lose 2% of our army" The traditional British way is to get drunk and either get lost, have a brawl with the locals outside the pub or discover Australia.
9:12 this reminds me of my Rome campaign when I approached an important enemy city with a huge army. The enemy faction ABANDONED the city by moving their army into the desert where it began to suffer attritional losses due to them being stuck in the desert. Of course naturally I then attacked the city and auto resolved the fight as it was an easy victory against the remaining garrison. If the army had of stayed in the city it would’ve been a pretty tough fight to defeat them especially with the huge city walls and strong defences. The AI in this game is NUTS
I have seen this, but I have also seen the AI performing extremely well. Kush really gave me a run for my money, since they have good scripts to use the desert in their advantage. For instance, they can advance in Forced March through the desert without attrition and threat several cities of yours at once, even advancing to Egypt if the AI knows that it cannot defeat you but tries to annoy as much as possible. I remember entering in Southern Egypt with a single army, capturing Meroe, and then realising that I would need at least 3 armies to defend and attack at once, given the mobility of the army and the distances from one settlement to the other. I've also had great tactic wars against the Nomads, it's like they're better scripted whereas Greeks, Carthage Easterns, Celts and Rome perform like idiots usually.
As Pergamon I sped across Anatolia, and when I reached Cappodacia, which had been previously subjugated by the now cityless Pontus, I declared and they then moved their two armies to Galatia, who I’d made my client state through pure diplomacy. I easily conquered their city and they lost half their army from attrition before I attacked them and crushed them. AI is stupid.
Imagine a world where you made 100 stat man, got bored of banging out some of the best CK2 videos on UA-cam. You then follow this by the funniest game breaking series on UA-cam, touché my fellow Brit.
@@Pidgeonsofwar Sorry, in germany it is called UdSSR (Union Der Sozialistischen SowjetRepubliken). Should have guessed it is not the same in the english language.
This is hilarious. I've played the campaign so many times I didn't even know this existed. As a fellow Brit, I take my hat of to you good sir....the poshness, the silliness, I'm literally laughing so hard my neck hurts (I woke up this morning with a stiff neck, sleeping at awkward angle)
Excellent video! Personally, my favorite way to play that feels a little exploity is as Carthage, where (similar to your methods) you spec up a Diplomat-type character to reduce upkeep, pick the Barcids who reduce Mercenary upkeep, and work on Tech/Army/General skills to further reduce Mercenary upkeep. Add in that Carthage has some of the best most diverse Mercenaries in the game, and you're rocking Numidian Noble Cavalry (Excellent missile/melee cav), Mercenary Noble Fighters (Excellent top-tier melee infantry), and Balearic Slingers (Top-tier skirmishers) along with whatever regional Mercenaries you want... All for like 18 or 25 gold per turn. These elite Mercenary armies are literally cheaper than your militia infantry per unit, it's so glorious!
I just like to think Your commander runs up to a settlement, Sword in hand and raises it to swing then stops, Rolls some dice on the ground and they both look at the dice just for your commander to just yell "HA" And stab him after the result.
and then some Chaos Chosen One whose Name was Martin gifted the Skeleton Free Milk and they Killed all the Vampire Lords and Ladys and became free. yes you Shouldnt do tha when the Chaos Generals Name is Martin and love Garlic Bread.
I some how managed to do so as germany in democracy 3, we had all the money, the most advanced technology in the world. The only reason people didn't like my government was that if I changed ANYTHING, it would send everything spiraling into disaster so they didn't like my inaction.
@@brianmcgloughlin7799 that's basically how every game ends for me. If I don't act, an extremist faction assassinates me. If I do act, a different extremist faction assassinates me. If I turn off assassinations, I can get every group happy with me, a booming economy, etc, but man... They do not take kindly to change. Or the lack thereof.
When this game first came out I was on the phone with one of my buddies for like two hours. I was playing as Bactria and was drinking while playing it. I somehow managed to blackout from drinking so much, oops 🤷🏻♂️, woke up the next day loaded up the game and I somehow conquered all of the Middle East, all of Northern Africa, Greece Italy, Gaul, Germania, Iberian peninsula, and was on my way to invaded Britannia 😂 I have no recollection of this whatsoever.
The Spiffing Brit: "An entire roman empire. Where the armies are fulled on genuinely nothing but paper and the promises of one day you will get payed but realistically you won't." Julius Cesar: Hold my wine.
In Rome it was quite common that soldiers bought their own gear, so as they server the Army longer and got older, with their wages they bought better equipment. That was the way they moved up the ranks:)
Sitting up straight in my chair, Drinking Coffee, Flipped the bird to the queen while twirling my gun and saluting the American Flag, but otherwise on board and ready to go Spiff. 2:29
That unit upkeep cost isn't just the soldiers' pay. It's also cost of equipment, food (unless you force your troops to buy their own food), and all the other logistical needs of fielding them. Likely those troops would have been augmenting their meager incomes by looting like crazy whenever you took a city, which they'd have been doing anyway.
Don't know what you are talking about... The opposite is the case: on legendary you fight every battle yourself since the ai has more money and you can only make that up with a better strategy, since autoresolve kills semmingly random unitstacks
@@valentinotto88 false , this game is just too easy, autoresolve favors spears so a crap spear army is going to defeat most enemy armies in autoresolve
19:40 Imperator Spiff: "Alright lads - I think you've got this one in the bag" General: Hold my tea. *Kicks enemy in the ball bag.* Tea-sipping Audience: I see what you did there Spiff.
Lol, "Tried to be Rome 1 but failed catastrophically", my respect for the words of wisdom. You can't simply try to be Rome 1. But man, the Campaign AI in Rome 2 is so bad. It was never smart in any TW games before, but those antics are just hilarous.
At least Rome 2 has something that can be called an AI. Have you ever played Empire: Total War? I remember playing an entire campaign with every major power at war with each other since turn 3 and yet the only province taken by the AI was Marroco (taken by France by abusing an exploit that sometimes makes the Berbers give you a province for a peace deal even if you never fought them). Even the natives were left untouched and when the USA declared independence, the remaining thirteen Colonies simply ignored them and so did the US. Looking back, I don't know what made me play the game that long.
@@3st3st77 Haha, never played Empire, but I heard many good things about it. And by good things I mean how terrible it is. As far as I've heard it may have been even worse than Rome 2 release state (which was terrible). I've played Shogun 1, Rome 1, Medieval 2, and Shogun 2 and at least AI was decent there. Well, unless you use mods - then AI starts freaking out - like sending a faction leader on a suicide mission against your garrisons. Man, fun times lol.
@sum body Yeah that's the issue with auto-resolves in later TW games : it's way too effective, wich doesn't incentivise fighting battles where you have greater numbers.
The spiffing Brit apparently has a headache and requested he be sent "happy memes" got his twitter @TheSpiffingBrit and send whatever you can, good wholesome memes are desirable. I want the memes to blot out everything else.
.....Its funny really. Spif played the game just like how Rome played the Mediterranean because essentially this is how Rome conquered their lands and made their empire. Very high income with very low maintenance but well equipped/highly trained auxiliary legions. As they conquered their lands it just enabled them to just keep creating more and more auxiliary legions using the conquered peoples which bolstered their might further and kept bolstering their economy which strengthened their armies even further and a sort of loopback effect.
Best strategy for this game is to play as a Mediterranean faction, and utilize ballista ships in conjunction with land armies to shatter land armies that are resting behind walls. It works to the extent that its like a cheat code.
Can we talk about the fact that the map of the British Empire at 2:41 is just a map of the Middle East? And I know this is 3 years later, it just still keeps me awake at night
I remember when the game came out and Sieges would go on even though I defeated their whole attack force. The Spartans would Siege once every 2-3 turns because they are mad and always I had to wait until the timer was down to 0. So annoying.
3 gold per 120 men per season. Sooo each man gets 3 / 120 = 0.025 gold per season, or 0.008333 gold per month. This means that each man gets payed 1 gold every (1 gold / (0.008333 gold / month)) = 120 months. Or, in other words, each man gets one gold piece per 10 YEARS!
ive been meaning to watch this video since it got uploaded. Didn't want to rush it, had to steep and be savored. Glorious. Makes me want to play some total war.
I love peace deals. I always have a large portion of my economy coming from extortion I also have really come to love being ambushed in this game. I put my men in forced march right in front of the enemy on purpose. On Hard mode at least it’s really easy to outmanoeuvre an enemy that decides to throw their full force of men straight at you. If you can lure the enemy into going into an aggressive stance you’ll always have the edge
I love how the reason they removed the ability to individually add units to armies was to get rid of the movement bug and they still didn't get rid of the movement bug and now the game is worse in order to fix a bug they didn't fix. Brilliant work CA.
Can I point out that, in the time, the worth of a gold coin was incredibly high, so it's actually pretty historically correct. Also, lots of the soldiers were paid in land and slaves (which the game does not visually include of course).
Are you sure? This sounds like shite considering that salt has never cost much per kilo whatsoever. They weren't paid in salt but received a ration of salt
I think people get value and price confused, salt has always been extremely valuable for nutrition and cooking but has pretty much never been scarce or hard to come by, hence it has never been expensive
my most glorious TW moment was in Rome 1 when 3 units of greek phalanx held a small settlement in asia minor against an entire persian army. lovely stuff!
Spiff is not a general.......he is an accountant
@@thespiffingbrit how about a British longbow?
@@thespiffingbrit I'm new
@@thespiffingbrit WELL THEN JUST MAKE A PEN SWORD ONE END IS A PEN AND THE OTHER IS A SWORD! THE WEAPON OF THE GODS!
@@caboose3721 Pretty sure the weapon of the gods, in Spiff opinion, is the Cup Of TEA
@@caboose3721 Surely you mean Percy Jackson's sword, Anaklusmos. It's a pen which, when you take the cap off, turns into a sword. why? because Greek polytheism, that's why. (The original myth surrounding the sword was that it was a hair clip, or a comb or something.)
Thank you once again for reminding me that every game in existence is perfectly balanced and has no exploits. Really makes my day
769 I can’t like but I’ll comment
>be me, soldier in The Mad Lads
>served Great Leader Spiff for almost ten years
>retirement day
>finally.. after 10 years of service
>i get my first full gold coin
I can't tell if the money accumulation would make a lot of deflation or the opposite
1 gold for 40 men every 3 months.
That's .33 gold for 40 men... or basically a grain of rice.
Whats the calculation for the 1 gold coin? I got 1 but only after 31.25 years so i might have missed something.
3 gold for 120 men, 120/3 = 1 gold per 40 men per 3 months. 1/3 = .33 per month for 40 men.
I don't want to do .33/40.
@@tyler89557
3 gold per 120 men. 3/120=0.025 per man per season
there are 4 seasons. 0.025x4=0.1
So yeah 1 gold per 10 years since 0.1x10=1
Your method of calculating gold per 40 men is a bit convoluted but works too. Must have fucked up on my end before.
Can you reduce their upkeep enough to make them pay you though?
I was going to ask this!! Please Spiff!!
There's a cap on upkeep reductions of 100%, so even if you somehow managed to stack more than 100% in upgrades it'll still never have negative upkeep.
STONKS!
😂
In Rome state pays you for service in the army. In Soviet Rome you pay the state.
The soldiers in the Mad Lads probably just got paid in IOU's. Then the general sends in the dudes with the highest IOU's first so they die and he doesnt have to pay them.
Bitconneeeeeect
Almost sounds like a fiat system of globalist usury.. oh wait
In Medieval times, a Spanish king more or less did that. He had borrowed money from various lords, who were also fighting in the army. Those lords were often sent first into battle, if they died the king didn't have to pay them back what he owed.
Fuck dude, that's honestly what happened during the crisis years, at least with the debt to the legionaries.
Or slaves... land too.
26:30 If we assume the "gold" per turn is the Roman Aureus then that means at fifteen aurei per season for the unit, each man is receiving a little over three denarii a season, totalling twelve and a half denarius per year. You later lower this to three gold per turn, which comes out to about two and a half denarius per year per soldier. Before any upkeep drops the ninety gold per turn comes out to seventy-five denarius a year. (This is all assuming that everyone in the unit is being paid the same wages instead of officers being paid significantly more than regular soldiers, of course.)
For comparison, historically Roman legionaries could expect to be paid one hundred and twelve and a half denarii per year, later doubled this to two hundred and twenty five denarii a year by Julius Caesar. Furthermore each soldier had to pay for their daily rations from their own pay, and prior to the Marian reforms (in Rome 2 represented by the transition away from Hastati-Principes-Triarii units to Legionary Cohort units) also had to purchase their own weapons and armor before even enlisting.
It's true however that Roman soldiers typically supplemented their income through looting and selling slaves, and you did do a lot of conquering and enslaving captives. That being said your auxiliaries are still criminally underpaid and NOT PAYING YOUR AUXILIARIES IS EXACTLY WHY ROME FELL, SPIFFICUS ROMULUS AUGUSTULUS.
r/theydidthemath
I appeciate the dedication to typing all that out.
You have drastically overthought this through.
@@jchrist5410 Oh hush, this is great.
@@callusklaus2413No it isn't. The game's one of the most basic strategy games in existence. There's no point in trying to make it something it isn't. It has a simple upkeep value which is inherently basic so just looking further into it is useless and irrelevant.
Irrelevance is not great.
Imagine fighting for your life in the roman army and once every month your commander gives your whole unit of 120 men with families to support one single golden coin
Modern capitalism as filtered through traditional capitalism.
it would take 360 months for one soldier to earn 1 gold. That's 30 years!
@@gingernytemare ...Wouldn't it only take 120 months?
@@delta3244 yep you're right, I forgot it was 3 gold per season, so 1 a month. Not 1 gold a season
They do all the work and create more and more profit while getting paid less and less... sounds familiar!
“We are now an imperium!” -The Spiffing Brit every single rank up
Yah I can’t tell if it’s a meme or just s long time between levels so he forgets everytime.
"Where you might get paid, but probably won't" Pretty much sums up the Roman Empire Army in a heartbeat to be honest.
I was hoping someone would say this in the comments.
Or a government contract if you are not a minority...
Clausewitz said that amateurs study tactics while masters study logistics. Total War: Rome II, the Clausewitz edition.
That is Total War in general. Their games are the most simplistic of strategy games. Paradox is a good step up in complexity and AGEOD is another step up, especially with their supply system!
@@jchrist5410 You're comparing apples and oranges. The main appeal in Total War is the real time strategy component. It's not trying to be Hearts of Iron/Europa Universalis/whatever.
@@Elintasokas Yeah, the whole reason Spiff is able to do nonsense like this is that the 4X side of Total War is deliberately a bit underdeveloped. It's meant to be a delivery system for the cool RTS battles, not the main appeal.
and gods study how to be an accountant
Yeah, except Clausewitz never said that.
Even the British thought they were barbaric before tea proven by the spiffing brit
The first British man to ever try tea, a ratcatcher by the name of Hob, immediately sprouted a monocle, a handlebar moustache and a lordship
_drops some leaves into his water_
*COR BLIMEY*
Teacher: So how did Roma capture almost whole europ?
Me: they paid 3 gold for 4000 soldiers
And they drank tea and only tea.
I wonder how many coppers that is.
P e r f e c t i o n
@@gggk9245 I imagine more than you could carry?
"we've now become an imperium!"
2 minutes later...
"we've now become an imperium!"
another 3 minutes later...
"we've now become an imperium!"
I noticed that and it was hilarious
Maybe that is why he loves this game so much. He can become imperium again and again.
You should try Empire: Total War. You can conquer India and all it's lovely tea.
That game is truly broken.
@@Monke-fj2qz No no no no. We call that PERFECTLY BALANCED!
Man the campaign as the UK was so broken ! The Ai couldn't invade by sea so you were unebeatable (during my first campaign maybe it was fixed After)
MrCommedien they will keep lainching broken, easily fixable bugs because they’re relying on the community modding for the game which is free.
I use Denmark to liberate India from Mughal Empire then give the Hindu's Land back to Maratha Confederation
I remember back in the day, when I played this before Empire edition, I was playing Carthage, I was having a hard campaign. Rome actually just sent a bunch of dudes on boats to attack my capital while I was expanding elsewhere. I had only a tiny garrison. I was like "Oh, well, it's lost, but let's see what happens."
Start up battle, load in map. Sit there, wait for romans.
....Apparently they all converted to pacifism or all of their leadership simultaneously had strokes or summat, because they did nothing. For 40 minutes.
Next turn the same thing happened. I decided I was done with Rome 2 for a bit.
Same here. Wtf happened?! I even took all my garrison and fired fire arrow to their boat which make them eventually come landed and of course i've lost the battle with a tiny garrison army. How to solve this?!
Me - Does 10 minute edited videos
Spiffing - Does 35 MINUTE EDITED VIDEOS
Me - NANI?!
from over 10 hours of footage
The Spiffing Brit Yes please, I would enjoy that very much
Drew- does 50 MINUTES edited videos
ISP - Does 1 hour 1 second edited video
*The Spiffing Brit dies in japanies*
World Economy: *exists*
Spiff: Well I’m sure there is some sort of exploit to be found here...
There is a reason the biggest business in the uk is financial services.
there was back in 2008 i'm starting to think Spiffy here had a hand in that.
AI does something stupid.
Spif: “well it appears the AI has done something interesting”
And it's Rome 2 so that happens a lot
It's the british way of calling out stupid
The British are trying to be polite about their enemies idiocy lol
Rome 2's AI has two types of actions. Stupid and breathtakingly stupid.
Turn on Infinite ammo in options.
Train a shit ton of horse archers.
Congratulations!You are the most powerful man in the whole Total wars universe.
if you dont want to cheat, you can retreat from battle
@@majdavlk649 B-But I don’t want to have it on my track record I lost!
"One day you'll get paid but realistically you probably won't"
So a real Roman Empire then?
sounds more like me last job
@@vinnieg6161 lol
19:40
Spiff - "I think you got this in the bag."
*As the Centurion proceeds to kick the enemy AI in the "bag"*
*The tea bag*
P L E A S E
E N D
M Y
S U F F E R I N G
- Some Roman soldier
@@thespiffingbrit inb4 the Dimitris roll in
I don’t understand why he is so serious about drinking tea. Just eat the bags. It’s what I do
@@thespiffingbrit poor davus
maybe the commander is just promising to make veterans landed
while ensuring that no one has time to become a veteran
It's almost what Rome actually did, the senate got army after army of landed citizens killed, and bought their land for cheap.
That's why they removed the requirement of owning land in the Marian reforms, no one left was willing to enlist.
Its also how they equipped all the new soldiers, they gave them the gear that was left by the fallen on the battlefields.
"How are we even going to lose 2% of our army" The traditional British way is to get drunk and either get lost, have a brawl with the locals outside the pub or discover Australia.
If it was australia it wouldn't only be 2 percent
9:12 this reminds me of my Rome campaign when I approached an important enemy city with a huge army. The enemy faction ABANDONED the city by moving their army into the desert where it began to suffer attritional losses due to them being stuck in the desert. Of course naturally I then attacked the city and auto resolved the fight as it was an easy victory against the remaining garrison. If the army had of stayed in the city it would’ve been a pretty tough fight to defeat them especially with the huge city walls and strong defences. The AI in this game is NUTS
I have seen this, but I have also seen the AI performing extremely well. Kush really gave me a run for my money, since they have good scripts to use the desert in their advantage. For instance, they can advance in Forced March through the desert without attrition and threat several cities of yours at once, even advancing to Egypt if the AI knows that it cannot defeat you but tries to annoy as much as possible.
I remember entering in Southern Egypt with a single army, capturing Meroe, and then realising that I would need at least 3 armies to defend and attack at once, given the mobility of the army and the distances from one settlement to the other.
I've also had great tactic wars against the Nomads, it's like they're better scripted whereas Greeks, Carthage Easterns, Celts and Rome perform like idiots usually.
As Pergamon I sped across Anatolia, and when I reached Cappodacia, which had been previously subjugated by the now cityless Pontus, I declared and they then moved their two armies to Galatia, who I’d made my client state through pure diplomacy. I easily conquered their city and they lost half their army from attrition before I attacked them and crushed them. AI is stupid.
@@Phoen1xGen I did a World-Dom run as Rome and the only real trouble I had was with slave uprisings and rebellions as I expanded far too quickly.
Sadly, as the geneva conventions don't exist yet, Spiff won't be able to break them this game.
they are in fact encouraged during this era.
No Geneva convention
Spiff: Its Free Reastate
Imagine a world where you made 100 stat man, got bored of banging out some of the best CK2 videos on UA-cam. You then follow this by the funniest game breaking series on UA-cam, touché my fellow Brit.
cheap units, low quality troops, massive numbers, fights in service to their imperium instead of being paid. this is the Imperial Guard from 40K.
Or the UdsSR...
@@TMG-Germany UdsSR? Don't you mean the USSR?
@@Pidgeonsofwar Thats how germans write it dont worry
@@Pidgeonsofwar Sorry, in germany it is called UdSSR (Union Der Sozialistischen SowjetRepubliken). Should have guessed it is not the same in the english language.
FOR THE EMPEROR!
This is hilarious. I've played the campaign so many times I didn't even know this existed. As a fellow Brit, I take my hat of to you good sir....the poshness, the silliness, I'm literally laughing so hard my neck hurts (I woke up this morning with a stiff neck, sleeping at awkward angle)
Imagine all the pizza parties to keep morale high
Ice cream social!
What's ice cream?
Oh, right...
"Will we get paid?"
"Well Yes, but actually no."
Probably still better payed than your average Warhammer 40k Guardsman.
but the guardsmen get to stay alive...?
Wait. That's illegal
This proves that Rome really was a truly great ancient empire.
Not a Dog not as great as the British empire . After all ; TEA!!!
Rome is good civilization.
@@Stillvisual What British empire ;) ....lol
Well we are still talking about it so...
@@bretginn1419 That sweet reference...
'10 blokes with pointy sticks standing on rafts'
Excellent video! Personally, my favorite way to play that feels a little exploity is as Carthage, where (similar to your methods) you spec up a Diplomat-type character to reduce upkeep, pick the Barcids who reduce Mercenary upkeep, and work on Tech/Army/General skills to further reduce Mercenary upkeep. Add in that Carthage has some of the best most diverse Mercenaries in the game, and you're rocking Numidian Noble Cavalry (Excellent missile/melee cav), Mercenary Noble Fighters (Excellent top-tier melee infantry), and Balearic Slingers (Top-tier skirmishers) along with whatever regional Mercenaries you want... All for like 18 or 25 gold per turn. These elite Mercenary armies are literally cheaper than your militia infantry per unit, it's so glorious!
Rome 2 electric boogaloo; this one's in Spain. *VISIT US BEFORE WE VISIT YOU*
Edit: Thanks for the pin. *UK has been removed from the visiting list*
lmao not pinned anymore
If you edit your post it unpins it.. points for trying though
@@Ferrastar it still looks pinned to me.
@@OryxTheMadGod3 i still have the pinned icon no?
TheNationalistMapper doesn’t have the pinned icon anymore
So we can very confidently say Soviets were using Roman tactics all along.
Bold statement to say that the Soviets were paying their soldiers at all.
Misa Spasic 🤣
Virtually no upkeep for a massive army of “absolute thrash”?
Total War: the Skaven Special
GFTO of here with your Warhammer trash, you took all of subreddit already
1. Play as Rome
2. Invest in Ballista and Scorpions
4. Siege everything
5. Forget about 3.
6. Profit, for you have better tech than heathen tribes
Tbf those siege weapons get me over 500 kills a battle if I protect them right...
Before agents got nerfed dignitaries were able to reduce upkeep by 52% so you could have free armies at turn 25
I just like to think Your commander runs up to a settlement, Sword in hand and raises it to swing then stops, Rolls some dice on the ground and they both look at the dice just for your commander to just yell "HA" And stab him after the result.
"Spear Chod" is amazing, definitely going to be the new term I use for any shitty-tier spearman in total war games.
Such low upkeep that they should pay YOU to fight in the glorious Roman crusade
Spiff:1 gold a month
Romans: YES PLZ!!!!!!!
AVE!!!!!!
The Vampire Counts in Total War: Warhammer 2 have Technologies that reduces the upkeep of Skeletons and Zombies by 100% ... :)
Skeet skeet I want them free
and then some Chaos Chosen One whose Name was Martin gifted the Skeleton Free Milk and they Killed all the Vampire Lords and Ladys and became free.
yes you Shouldnt do tha when the Chaos Generals Name is Martin and love Garlic Bread.
@@keizoxd5623 i dont think his name was martin
@@keizoxd5623 his name was Melvin the 14th everchosen the brigner of destruction, the anihilator of worlds, the garlic bread baker you fool.
Fortress and that’s the kilian experience
Hey Spiff I wonder if you could try to exploit Democracy 3. With Brexit discussions it will be funny for sure! Greets and enjoy your well earned tea
I some how managed to do so as germany in democracy 3, we had all the money, the most advanced technology in the world. The only reason people didn't like my government was that if I changed ANYTHING, it would send everything spiraling into disaster so they didn't like my inaction.
@@brianmcgloughlin7799 that's basically how every game ends for me. If I don't act, an extremist faction assassinates me. If I do act, a different extremist faction assassinates me. If I turn off assassinations, I can get every group happy with me, a booming economy, etc, but man... They do not take kindly to change. Or the lack thereof.
Democracy is only a myth these days
Brexit.. Or Breentry?
meme theif that just sounds gross now
When this game first came out I was on the phone with one of my buddies for like two hours. I was playing as Bactria and was drinking while playing it. I somehow managed to blackout from drinking so much, oops 🤷🏻♂️, woke up the next day loaded up the game and I somehow conquered all of the Middle East, all of Northern Africa, Greece Italy, Gaul, Germania, Iberian peninsula, and was on my way to invaded Britannia 😂 I have no recollection of this whatsoever.
And did everyone clap
How, that takes like 3 days bro
@@liammarriott6003 and then everyone clapped
okay Pinocchio more funny is that bactria was not at release playable it came later as free dlc^^
@@mcbhcrzyshtt1283 lmao you exposed the weirdo
11:50 "Carthago delenda est" -- Cato the Elder. Quite a dude.
You should make a video on: Life IS A PERFECTLY BALANCED GAME WITH NO EXPLOITS. And start as a poor newbie. Now that is a chalange for you.
Would be awesome !
Plot twist: that's what every video is.
The Spiffing Brit: "An entire roman empire. Where the armies are fulled on genuinely nothing but paper and the promises of one day you will get payed but realistically you won't."
Julius Cesar: Hold my wine.
For real tho
Fun drinking game idea, take a shot every time Spiff's Imperium becomes an Imperium
Shot of tea i pressume?
"We dont need gold! Our pure unfiltered love of house and home drives our conquests onward!"
-Mad Lads
I knew that the Romans where one of the strongest militaries known. Now I know why.
Tea?
In Rome it was quite common that soldiers bought their own gear, so as they server the Army longer and got older, with their wages they bought better equipment. That was the way they moved up the ranks:)
By cheaping it out, that's the secret.
Historicly accurate representation of rise and fall of the Western Roman Empire
roman soldier: im gonna start a new life with lots of money after my military services
spiffing: quid est quod volo dicere irrumabo?
0:01 Wow, those are some loyal soldiers, willing to risk their lives for one gold between 120 men each month!
Sitting up straight in my chair, Drinking Coffee, Flipped the bird to the queen while twirling my gun and saluting the American Flag, but otherwise on board and ready to go Spiff. 2:29
Your failure to fire at the image of the Queen disgusts me.
But other than that same here.
ugh bean juice, thats disgusting ;)
This is the type of man to grab a friend and use hands to exploit DDR
@@thespiffingbrit just an assumption
Pretty amazing what a few patches can do to a game. Went from "mixed" on steam when this video was posted, to now being "Very Positive"
That unit upkeep cost isn't just the soldiers' pay. It's also cost of equipment, food (unless you force your troops to buy their own food), and all the other logistical needs of fielding them.
Likely those troops would have been augmenting their meager incomes by looting like crazy whenever you took a city, which they'd have been doing anyway.
That was incredible. Now I have to go play some more Rome 2.
Spiff: "British Empire"
Shows true British Empire for once. Thanks Spiff
"AUTO-RESOLVE ONLY CHALLENGE" aka how every person plays the game when on Legendary difficult to circumvent the insane buffs the AI gets.
Legendary isnt that hard
Don't know what you are talking about... The opposite is the case: on legendary you fight every battle yourself since the ai has more money and you can only make that up with a better strategy, since autoresolve kills semmingly random unitstacks
@@valentinotto88 false , this game is just too easy, autoresolve favors spears so a crap spear army is going to defeat most enemy armies in autoresolve
@@valentinotto88 You've never watched Legendoftotalwar, have you ?
When he said communitea I just cracked up.. haha that was epix
19:40
Imperator Spiff: "Alright lads - I think you've got this one in the bag"
General: Hold my tea.
*Kicks enemy in the ball bag.*
Tea-sipping Audience: I see what you did there Spiff.
I can't see Spiff in other colours then black and blue anymore.
Lol, "Tried to be Rome 1 but failed catastrophically", my respect for the words of wisdom.
You can't simply try to be Rome 1.
But man, the Campaign AI in Rome 2 is so bad. It was never smart in any TW games before, but those antics are just hilarous.
At least Rome 2 has something that can be called an AI. Have you ever played Empire: Total War? I remember playing an entire campaign with every major power at war with each other since turn 3 and yet the only province taken by the AI was Marroco (taken by France by abusing an exploit that sometimes makes the Berbers give you a province for a peace deal even if you never fought them). Even the natives were left untouched and when the USA declared independence, the remaining thirteen Colonies simply ignored them and so did the US.
Looking back, I don't know what made me play the game that long.
@@3st3st77 Haha, never played Empire, but I heard many good things about it. And by good things I mean how terrible it is. As far as I've heard it may have been even worse than Rome 2 release state (which was terrible).
I've played Shogun 1, Rome 1, Medieval 2, and Shogun 2 and at least AI was decent there. Well, unless you use mods - then AI starts freaking out - like sending a faction leader on a suicide mission against your garrisons. Man, fun times lol.
AVE!!!! also great video and i suggest you try to find exploits in total war napoleon
commissar karis venner the challenge is that he actually has to play as France.
preposterous!
'And our empire has grown into an imperium.'
My Roman heart bleeds.
That first exploit fcken blew my mind as I have been playing this game for a couple of years now
The best thing about your channel is the passive aggressive usage of stock photos! A revolution probably gaining attention of EU law makers =D
stock photos are not your OC Content so it'd get copyrighted LOL
Slapping a stock photo watermark on non-stock photos?
I literally autoresolved this Game in every campaign 😂
Worked well if you didnt chose the germanic tribes.
Yeah auto resolve is literally based on melee defence and damage so if you have a spear men heavy army you can overtake the whole of Europe
@sum body Yeah that's the issue with auto-resolves in later TW games : it's way too effective, wich doesn't incentivise fighting battles where you have greater numbers.
@@Knoloaify Play on Legendary first. And then launch an Total war Warhammer II campain. Autoresolv isn't that effective, except if you intend to die.
The spiffing Brit apparently has a headache and requested he be sent "happy memes" got his twitter @TheSpiffingBrit and send whatever you can, good wholesome memes are desirable. I want the memes to blot out everything else.
Somehow only found this channel a few days ago. Let's just say I've been on a spiffing marathon where much tea has been consumed
Thank you for sharing these exploits and your sense of humor. I love how much fun you sound like you’re having making these videos. Keep it up!
5:53 how did Spiff manage to split the army from the settlement and trick the ai?
Using his very spiffy brit tricks
Total War: SHOGUN 2 is my favorite.
And medieval 3 total war ?
V:
I feel like people only liked for the profile pic
I perfere three kingdoms.
Oehh, Shogun 2 is amazing
OUR MEN ARE RETREATING FROM THE BATTLEFIELD
.....Its funny really. Spif played the game just like how Rome played the Mediterranean because essentially this is how Rome conquered their lands and made their empire. Very high income with very low maintenance but well equipped/highly trained auxiliary legions.
As they conquered their lands it just enabled them to just keep creating more and more auxiliary legions using the conquered peoples which bolstered their might further and kept bolstering their economy which strengthened their armies even further and a sort of loopback effect.
Best strategy for this game is to play as a Mediterranean faction, and utilize ballista ships in conjunction with land armies to shatter land armies that are resting behind walls. It works to the extent that its like a cheat code.
Can we talk about the fact that the map of the British Empire at 2:41 is just a map of the Middle East? And I know this is 3 years later, it just still keeps me awake at night
OMG, this is so.. incredible! I played Rome 2 in completely wrong way!
"Our first Total War game of the How To Break A Game series"
Spiff, I don't think Total War games need your help in breaking tbh.
Broken on arrival.
I remember when the game came out and Sieges would go on even though I defeated their whole attack force. The Spartans would Siege once every 2-3 turns because they are mad and always I had to wait until the timer was down to 0. So annoying.
3 gold per 120 men per season.
Sooo each man gets 3 / 120 = 0.025 gold per season, or 0.008333 gold per month. This means that each man gets payed 1 gold every (1 gold / (0.008333 gold / month)) = 120 months. Or, in other words, each man gets one gold piece per 10 YEARS!
each man gets the equivalent of the modern day 450 dollars (8 grams of gold
under Augustus) per 10 years.
ive been meaning to watch this video since it got uploaded. Didn't want to rush it, had to steep and be savored. Glorious. Makes me want to play some total war.
I love peace deals. I always have a large portion of my economy coming from extortion
I also have really come to love being ambushed in this game. I put my men in forced march right in front of the enemy on purpose. On Hard mode at least it’s really easy to outmanoeuvre an enemy that decides to throw their full force of men straight at you. If you can lure the enemy into going into an aggressive stance you’ll always have the edge
Spiffing, according to Wikipedia the Empire never ended. It just changed it's name
3:20 POLAND ARMY STRONG! :D greetings from country of winged hussars
This video is from early 2019 and the game is still ridiculously easy and broken. Thank god for mods.
I haven't laughed in a while as hard as I've laughed watching your channel. Thank you!
currently going there my monthly Spiff phase where I re-watch everything! this guy is a Glorious sausage!
Ave, I love Total War, and you make me want to try and do these ridiculous exploits myself.
I love how the reason they removed the ability to individually add units to armies was to get rid of the movement bug and they still didn't get rid of the movement bug and now the game is worse in order to fix a bug they didn't fix. Brilliant work CA.
27:55 14 Gold coins shared by 120 as Yearly Payment 😂 😂 😂
8:45 Ah yes, the famous Mad Lads of Rome, who could forget such a legion of fighters, aided by their wonderful alae the Choddy.
Can I point out that, in the time, the worth of a gold coin was incredibly high, so it's actually pretty historically correct. Also, lots of the soldiers were paid in land and slaves (which the game does not visually include of course).
It’s probably bad the amount of tea I’ve been drinking lately.
Historically accurate: The legions were paid in salt whenever gold ran out.
Nathan Gamble so were the Carthaginians
French Guitar Guy what carthaginians? Do you mean that pile of sand in North Africa?
Are you sure? This sounds like shite considering that salt has never cost much per kilo whatsoever. They weren't paid in salt but received a ration of salt
Salt is where its at historically
I think people get value and price confused, salt has always been extremely valuable for nutrition and cooking but has pretty much never been scarce or hard to come by, hence it has never been expensive
dear game devs this is why you DONT add percentages from buffs you use multiplicative percentages ....
No because we NEED this.
my most glorious TW moment was in Rome 1 when 3 units of greek phalanx held a small settlement in asia minor against an entire persian army.
lovely stuff!
Hey that's kinda the 300, very roughly speaking. 3 100ish troops holding an important place against the persians