HOW MEN & WOMEN JUDGED DIFFERENTLY FOR WEARING LUXE TO THE OFFICE
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- Опубліковано 28 тра 2024
- Are men & women judged the same when it comes to wearing luxury into the office? Is wearing designer goods into the office a good idea, and for those of us who are into luxe, why might that me? *Ad
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Hi everyone! I loved this topic and must say ‘thank you’ to B.Alex who posted a thought provoking statement which got lots of you talking on my last video!
So, are men & women treated differently in the office for their luxury?
Hmm, I think in a way ‘yes’ (sometimes the man is seen as the successful businessman, whilst one of you said with women it’s assumed their partners have bought their items for them). But actually if you ask me, I think it’s less about how men & women treat each other - I feel like the judgement possibly comes from men to other men and women to other women? What do you think?
And the judgment is absolutely men to men and women to women for some reason... competition factor perhaps? "Innate survival of the fittest" instinct?
Possibly
Thank you for such a thought provoking video. Its quite strange. I take my luxury bags to work from time to time. The men I work with most of the time don't know what I use but they do ask if they think something is nice; most of the time its to get something similar for their significant other / spouse. Some female colleagues tend to comment along the lines of "oh your husband must be doing well." Or I hear comments like "oh I'm a woman with simpler needs."
I do have 1 male colleague who pays attention to my bags and my shoes and makes loud comments about how I must make too much money.
Sadly my MIL sees my designer bags and sees it as a waste; apparently she commented to my SIL that I'm spending all her son's money. Despite the reality that I make more money than my husband and I don't see it as his money or my money; its OUR money.
Oh they confront the men. There was a guy who had a candy apple Porshe cute care, couldn't miss it, everyone could see him driving around trying to get a parking space. Everybody in the two six floor buildings saw it since it they were all glass buildings. It causes such a commotion that everyone was at the windows looking out. The SVP saw it and was so upset. Overheard him say he is going to audit his department he was so angry that in his position and pay grade he couldn't afford that.
It got hot and I don't know if that person lost his job but he was called in to casually explain the situation. Some started to say department is sales and they earn more but some people weren't having it. I heard he left them maybe a few months later heard he got another offer. Who knows let go or fired.
It’s still okay to wear luxury clothes & accessories to work provided that they don’t have visible logos that people can easily see. That’s why some people prefer to buy luxury goods without easily visible logos on the outside and items that are not instantly recognizable. Hermès Birkin or Kelly bag, Rolex watch, & Christian Louboutin shoes are best to be avoided. The key is not to ask other people’s opinion about what they think of your clothes & accessories and most won’t even know that they are from luxury designer brands.
I had a “friend” who commented that she thought it was outrageous that I spent $2,600 on a handbag.... I reminded her that she owns like 40 sets of lululemon workout clothes... which I think is outrageous lol. Whatever floats your boat girl.
My boyfriend not happy for me to buy 700dollars bag one time i told him..hahaha since then i never let him know when i buy new things
When I was seriously struggling financially ( single parent) people avoided me but had no trouble in telling me about their trips, new cars or large purchases. Thru hard work and perseverance my financial situation changed. When I would show up to work with a pre loved designer item I would hear the whispers. The same women who ate out often, traveled or spent a lot of money on theater tickets would judge me! However no one had an opinion when I was struggling 😂. I wear what I want when I want! I’ve earned it! 😎
I totally resonate with you. But it's the easiest way to find out who are your real friends and who'd cheer for you :)
Girl! You more than earned it! Rock that pre-loved item with pride! It is nobody's business! You make me feel proud! Go you!!!
Angelia Irizarry Thank you ❤️😊
EVERYTHING you've said! Congrats! Btw, being a single parent isn't easy!
Thank you everyone for your kind comments and likes. It makes my heart smile to know there are so many supportive women in the world. Much love ❤️ ❤️❤️❤️❤️ to you all!
Years ago my husband asked me why I needed so many bags. I asked him why did he need 8 paddle boards. After I asked him that question, he finally got it.
Few years ago when I took my first role after graduation I remember the CEO would come in with her classic chanel flap bag and a mercedes SUV on the occasion she came into her company in person. Her husband would roll in into work in his Maserati. The ladies would gossip a lot about it and really didn't like her due to their jealousy but also would do nothing to climb the career ladder themselves. I never understood why that was the case because I would admire the CEO and use her as a motivation to work harder and smash my goals. Women can be extremely envious and hostile.
Women are hostile. I can count the close female friends who are happy for my success on one hand and wouldn't judge me
I think women get it worse. Women are often stereotyped for not being able to save money because they buy luxury things, whereas men are not seen that way even if he’s wearing a Rolex. Another thing I have noticed, which actually happened to me - I’m often being judged by married women with kids. I’m single, no kids , work takes most of my time and my Budget is pretty much focused on my needs only, which is why every luxe thing I get is being commented “ of course , you have no family - no commitment” - as if my life is less important than their, it’s offensive and not fair.
I agree so many married women with kids get up in arms about what single women buy!!! I have a friend who loves to say ...”oh it must be nice.”
@@chanelsimone6072 comments like that always make me wonder if they regret having children
To be honest as a married woman with kids I am jealous of my single lesbian coworkers savings. However she know how the game of financial freedom is played so I politely asked her for her advice how she saves her $$$. I got good advice and something to look forward to &a goal. We should be happy for other people and greatfull for what we do have. I love my kids I wouldn't change having them and they do come with expenses.
Actually, I’m a bi-sexual male, I do carry a lot of designer bags, clothes, and shoes when I go to work. Most of the times, the negative comments I received was from this particular woman at work (we don’t work together but she sees me at times). She pays attention to a lot of my stuffs to the point I asked her: “why do you have the need to point out what I have in front of people all the times?”. She obviously loves luxury, makes good money but she has 5 kids and she probably has to spend the money on her children more. She does buy herself some nice stuffs but obviously, she can’t do anything too crazy.
I remember the one day recently I had to come by during my off day to drop some files, and I was wearing my Chanel clutch on chain (the one that looks like a multi-Pochette), and she went on an unintended attack on why I am probably overpaid as a joke. I put my foot down that day and said “I would call HR next time, if you continue your non-sense”. She justified it as a joke but I told her, I don’t appreciate interactions like that so please keep a distance.
We kind of stopped interacting and so I think a lot of these stem from jealousy. People just need to work on themselves and not fixating on others’ business. I find out she still talks about me behind my back, but because my boss is a cool person, he doesn’t care and he knows I get the jobs done. So that’s why it has not been worse than it could have been.
Wow, I’m so sorry you’ve gone through something like this! Her actions are so inappropriate. I think it’s obvious it stems from her jealousy!
Well done for standing up for yourself. 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 Folks need to learn to mind their own business. Your money... your life... your choices.
No one asked her to have 5 children, that was her expensive choice. She needs to really mind her business 😑🙄
Good for you! People treat us the way we let them treat us. You stood up for yourself and 👏👏👏
Oh wow, thanks for the supports. This is very heart warming. Thank you all!
I just think we all have our own thing. We live in a time where some people will buy a new phone every year that costs $1000 each time. Then I get judged for spending 1200 on a jacket or bag or whatever it may be that will last a lifetime. Each person has their own reasons for spending large sums of money, its just what is worth it for each person.
You are so right, hit the nail on the head so to speak.
Exactly!!!
My ex-best friend stopped talking to me when my husband and I came into money, (he had a horrific motorbike accident and was on life support and in a coma). She would constantly say “must be nice for some” over the silliest of things. It really upset me that after 30+ years of friendship she wasn’t there for me when I needed her and all she could focus on was money. It’s a true saying that money changes people, especially those around you xx
Tracy Ryder no, I think money actually reveals the true self. She liked you when you were on her level, once you levelled up her insecurity was revealed and she could not handle it. You said she wasn’t there for you during a difficult time....so she did show you who she was, you didn’t believe it. At least now you and hubby are happy, healthy and rich. God bless your success you both suffered for it.🙂
My boss only wears LV in epi leather and a simple YSL but I know she has more brands. She also has a beautiful 3+ ct engagement ring and took half year of unpaid leave after the first trimester of her pregnancy at 40. That's actually what people judge her the most bc it's a huge "luxury" in their opinion to forgo $100k by not working when US women work all the 9 months. Ppl would make sneaky remarks "it must be nice", "I want a rich husband too" , "doesn't she have a nanny for the 1st one" etc I saw nothing wrong with it and to me it shows how much she values her family.
...wait women work for 9 months during their pregnancy, wut
And what business is it of theirs if she does take 6 months, 1 year, 2 years off! It's not like they're paying for it. And yes, it IS nice because it's her RIGHT to do what she wants and to marry whoever she wants.
You have to understand their narrow short way of thinking. If they had made more sacrifices and have strived for better things in life, I am sure they would be doing the same.
Its her decision and right and she is lucky to take a full advantage of comfortably living her life . But it is a huge luxury and in most of the cases other partner has a great salary .
Hell good for her she had the money to take off from work to bond with her kid! The American unpaid maternity leave of 3 months is a shit show joke!
My husband’s childhood friend is incredibly wealthy and took over his family’s business a few years ago. He used to have a brand new Range Rover Sport but traded it in for a Ford Expedition after taking over the company. He said he didn’t want the judgment from the workers thinking he was better than them. I found this very interesting and admirable. I own my business and love my designer bags, most of them are Chanel. However, when I go to client meetings I would never bring by Chanel bags. My services cost a lot and the last thing I want is my clients assuming a percentage of their fees will be supporting my fashion habit.
I own my own business and have always wanted a Porsche but I refrain from buying one because I don’t want my clients to see it. So sticking w/ my Prius which is paid off at least!
Lori in Florida I feel you there! You can’t beat the gas mileage on those!!! My husband was so sweet and bought me a Mercedes after we got married. I traded it in for a Toyota as well! I have a 4runner and I had fun decking it out. I love it, it’s also paid off, and incredibly reliable! Toyota’s are so underrated!
May Carlson The gas milage is otherworldly! I fill up maybe twice a month. Love 4Runners and agree that Toyota is underrated!
Love this intersection of luxury and cars because I love both! What I find really interesting is how many will judge someone for a Mercedes or BMW that costs $40k-$50k even when they’re driving a decked out Toyota that costs the same! It’s really interesting about the brand perception even though the cost is the same.
Lori in Florida Totally! ❤️❤️❤️
Wall Street/Finance girl from NYC here - fact: fellow trader, male, comes in with new Rolex, Hermes belt, custom suit, announces down payment on beach house, the entire desk congratulates him/wants to see item. Me, gets new bag or new shoes, almost always hides my vacation plans: glares from other women noticing my new bag or shoes, gossip about where I went on vacation. The misogyny abounds! Men have it FAR easier.
honestly, it's ridiculous! I know males who go out to buy their new rolex watches together when they get their promotions, sometimes even during their lunch breaks and with their bosses! I've personally seen managers going to watch exhibitions and deliberating over which "limited edition" watch they should get during their lunch "hour" ('hour' in quotes cuz it took them minimum 3 hours smh).
I used to work on Wall street, I have seen them bunch up together to admire their new watches but then, turn around and ask me if I spend all my money on new earnings. I used to buy jewellery with my bonus money. So, I would come in with a new earnings or bracelet or ring and I always was made to feel bad about my stuff. After, I had my kids I stop wearing my jewellery to work. And even, my old diamond earning would still draw comments. I know these guys spent thousands at Brooks Brothers buying suits but my new stuff bothered them.
It just sounds like you have a personal issue with men. I don't care about someone's possessions and you're not classy just because you own a purse or a male who brags about how much he spends.
@@violetindigo2770 I love them all. Got me a wonderful husband, son, son in law and nephews. I really liked the guys I worked with because they looked out for me being the only female in the crowd. I worked with some outstanding guys who encouraged and promoted me. However, my spending habits and what I purchased seemed to have nagged them a bit.
@@annhans3535 That's great then.
I’m not quite clear why other people’s jealousy is dictating so many of your decisions. If you are able to afford an item, it is a blessing. Those who do not want you to be blessed should not be catered to. Being black, some judge my skin color. If I bent my emotions around those people the way some in the comments do about their bags, I wouldn’t be able to enjoy the lovely life I have... and the amazing luxury purchase that I’ve been blessed to attain. Be happy and enjoy the blessings in your life without yielding to fear of other people’s jealousy based judgement. Be free to be yourself.
Michelle Price-Johnson So true!
Really well-said!😄
Great comment☺️
Hi Sophie! I am a gay man who likes to buy bags.. i dont mind taking the public commute to save more money for luxury. And coworkers seem to not get my idea of cutting down on some expenses to save for my bag addiction. There was one time i was using my Chanel Clutch on Chain the tiny filigree one and somebody commented "so much money for a tiny little bag. You must not care about stuff to buy that kind of bag" and i was like, "why do you care? I don't audit your spending so don't audit mine" and some people comment about me not buying a car but i can afford a bag. What they don't get is, i..dont. want. An. Effing. Car. I cant drive! I don't know how to! Hahaha
Well said .
Yes, I love it how strangers or even family & friends feel free to criticize the purchases of others while being oblivious to the fact that THEY may be spending on items others wouldn’t. It’s really none of my business what other people spend their money on, just like what I spend my money on is none of theirs.....often people need to be REMINDED of that common courtesy.
@@lgempet2869 that is what is lacking in this society nowadays. Common courtesy. As if putting us down by critiquing about how we spend their money will make their lives look any better. Holier than thou attitudes. Ha! Lol
Napoleon Candelaria I agree w/you 100%!!👍🏻😊
Haha my staff spent monies on taxi and I save my coins by taking public commute
I had a ‘friend’ who was always sniffy about me and my other friends having designer bags and eating out. I found out from a throwaway comment by her husband she talks negatively about me behind my back about how much I spend. I don’t know why other people make it their business. People like what they like, nobody should be made to feel guilty or ashamed for their purchases. I have a long term illness and I worked hard in my career some days dragging myself in when I’ve felt awful I never go off sick so why on earth can’t we have some nice things to show for our efforts? My first decent pay check I went and bought an Alexander McQueen skull padlock satchel and I love it to this day. Enjoy yourselves life is too short to worry what others think.
Whenever a woman wears an expensive or just a designer bag and someone has to comment "Why do you have that? You don't need that." or even gossip to other women saying "She thinks she has more money than everyone else and has to show it off" when in reality it's all about what you like to wear with your outfits.
These are the same people who would judge a woman with a vintage and say, "What a fake bag?! She might as well get the "real" thing!"
I cannot fathom how judgmental people are these days.
ZeB 8 💯 agree
One manager asked me one day if my Kate Spade handbag is real. Kate Spade is not even an luxury brand and yet she is jealous that I carry it to work. I don’t carry my luxury handbags to work because some women get real jealous and catty. If a woman’s diamond engagement ring is bigger than theirs, they talk behind her back and say things like what does she has that they don’t and how did that woman land a rich husband. Young guys are not much better. If one guy buys a house and has a nice car when his male colleagues can’t afford either, they get judged too. Men can be as gossipy if not more than women.
Since your last video, I had an interesting experience where I posted that I finally got my first "luxury" bag from Coach. I explained that I had been saving up and sold a few other things so I could afford it -- I put "luxury" in quotes because it was only $330 CAD, marked down from over $600. Most people were happy for me, but two women went on and on about how they would NEVER spend so much money on "just a purse" and they thought it was a waste of money. I responded that it was like wearable art to me, and it made me happy. These women, by the way, are the outdoorsy type who spent thousands upon thousands every year on their fishing/camping/etc. Which is fine by me -- that's what makes them happy, so it's all good! It's their money. It just bothers me that they feel the need to make me feel guilty/vain for enjoying what I enjoy.
I couldn't have said it any better! By the way, good for you! Enjoy the heck out of your bag!
In 2004 I bought a new car. The comments from a male co-worker was "you must be minted". The thing is, I was in my 20s. I lived alone and already owned my own flat. I didn't have children or any one to spend on apart from myself. I left home at 17 and rented for a few years and continuously worked. I had my normal office job 9 to 5 but I also worked in a super market and stacked shelves all evening. I didn't go on holidays and socialised very little therefore I had a large disposable income which enabled me to purchase a brand new car from the showroom. I felt co workers resentment. It made me feel awkward if I dressed nicely at work or had a Gucci and louis vuitton bag and purse etc. But I worked for those things and it was my own money.
I had something similar happen, reading this now I see it for what is was. Why do people judge? I feel I've worked my way up to nice bags, car etc so if I choose then to drive that car and carry that bag I will. Why should I hide my hard work for fear of offending someone else. Just my thoughts on this topic.
Someone told me spending the money on braces and teeth whitening was a waste of money 🙄 I swear people don’t like to be happy for other people 😂
I'm 28 and have many different jobs, everytime I show up to the job interview I was wearing makeup so eventualy when I have days that I don't feel like wearing it my male bosses will ask me if I was either hang over, tired and need it a coffee or if I need it to go wash my face. I always felt like they didn't understand makeup but now I feel like I was held to a different standar than my male colleges and was expected of me as a job requiarement to look presentable, be a lady and always smile for no reason.
I think when those male bosses hired you they did not only because they liked what they heard but, as well, because they liked how you look. So, they want to see you like that because that’s what they signed up for when hiring you.
@@5Heliotrope
Just to clarify. I mean a differential treatment between men and women in the workplace, It is expected of me and I am asked why I look like that because one day I have dark circles but my colleagues were never told anything when they appeared at work with hickeys on their necks.
I feel like the definition of looking professional is used differently and there is a different treatment of people who enjoy "luxuries" (clothes, bags, jewelry, perfume, makeup) and choose to bring them to the workplace.
In my case, makeup makes me happy but there are days when I feel like I don't need it, I just would like my decision to be respected, in the same way as my male colleagues
I really think society tends to laud men for having 'made it' because historically, it's just the expected goal for a man to get wealthy. Women on the other hand - they've only been allowed at workplaces for the past few decades.
I love my designer bags, and do take them to work. When anyone remarks on the bag, I tell them it's a dupe that I paid $100 for. Believe it or not it makes me more relatable to my co-works, all women. It doesn't hurt me in anyway to say it's a dupe, my watch, shoes etc as well. I know they are real, I can wear them to work and it doesn't hurt my work "reputation". On the flip side, my boss asked me how much a real LV lockme ever cost, (thinking mine is a dupe) I told him almost $5,000 US. He was shocked, but I know he has bicycles that cost that much, and he's take bicycle tours in Italy and Portugal. I'd never spend $5G on a bike. To each his own, but no one bats an eye in the office when he talks about his expensive bikes. Go figure.
My husband was passing by as you said, “Do men even know what a designer bag is?” His reply was no.
Again, you are there to do a job, and it shouldn’t matter what you are carrying as you walk through the door. I don’t know about anyone else, but I can’t be bothered by someone being offended by a piece of leather. It’s not like I’m putting it in your face. I’m not walking around with my handbag on my shoulder.
Also, people have things that they like to spend their expendable cash on-travel, hobbies, home decor, cars. While I wouldn’t spend my money on certain things, who am I to shame someone for spending their money on anything frivolous? Not. My. Business.
I've had two experiences at work with my [very old] Prada tote. 1. A team lead told me to my face; "Well, you're the only one in the office with a Prada bag. *insert sarcastic smile" and 2. "Omg I love your bag!" 1 was from a man and 2 was from a woman. But I also think this depends on what industry you work in--in a high paying industry I feel it's almost expected to own these things and everyone shows off some lol In an industry such as the one I'm in--education, you're expected to be poor and struggling so how *dare* you have a Prada bag and Dior jewelry!! But I have a balance: I have a mid-range Kate Spade bag for interviews and then I break out my goods when I have the job xD
I think though it really comes down to the fact that people equate men with expensive cars as successful and women with expensive bags as wasteful/her husband bought it for her. It comes around to inequality and that it's still news worthy when women are rich/CEOs because it's still not considered the *norm*.
Would be interesting to hear David's perspective on this, since he wears designer items. Did he every wear them to work when he worked in an office? What reactions did he get?
This should be a video Sophie!
Great idea!!!!!!!!!!!
I only used a designer bag one time at work, and I could feel the daggers from other women. Never used at work again. Now my Rolex, since it is my only watch, I wear and don't care. My diamond ring which is large I have never worn to work- several reasons, but I don't like people staring. No ones business what I have or can or cannot afford, but I just don't have time for the crap from them
Yeah I think cattier bracelets are fine to wear to work
You can always pretend your bracelets are fake. One of my coworkers said to my swiss made watch "nice watch. I saw a lot of such on fake good market." Since it made her happy to think I own a fake watch, I said, "yup. Fake stuff market". It doesnt matter to me. If it makes them feel successful or happy, i dont give a f..
@@nataliabykova6081 oh wow, what arrogance 😂 going straight for the "it must be fake".
I would probably been "i don't know anything about that" 😅
My boss and I shop luxury designer stuff online together during our lunch break 🤭
lol. that's awesome.
I want your boss. lol
Lol my boss was a man who knew fashion because his adult daughter worked in fashion, but we both loved cars and skiing so we talked about multiple expensive subjects
This is so lovely!
LOL! Best. Boss. Ever! Nice!
I agree. My husband gives me a bag as a present, and then my colleagues and my boss start thinking I get too high salary. So I stopped bringing luxury bags to work. I even doubt bringing Michael Kors to work, cause they also judge. And we also have men in the office who have nice cars and watches and phones, and noone judges them. People think that a man should have nice salary and nice stuff. And when a woman has smth nice, this is a bad thing.
couldnt agree more! I get weary about taking my michael kors bag into work now..
Exactly! When men wear/buy nice things, society applauds them for having 'made it'. When women do the same thing, it's discarded as a 'frivolous purchase'.
Any excuse to underpay a woman is good.
I carry my kate spade bag, but it has a small logo, so people can't tell what it is.
I’ve noticed most of the sneers I get is actually from family. My husband kinda giggles because no one looks at his bows, fishing rods, hunting clothes, or the trips he takes to hunt and fish as crazy. However, my bags are a bit outlandish to them. I don’t even post with them on social media. He of course doesn’t mind, we support what each other enjoys. He does do a good job of sticking up for me about it too.
That's what's up! What a great relationship!
This is such a brilliant topic, and it’s so relevant. People get judged everyday whether it’s in work or not. I agree you should buy things that make you happy and screw people who want to judge you on it. Thank you for sharing xx
Being yourself should be allowed.
Being something synthetic, well...
People will always find something to judge others on. That's just who we are, lol.
I remember i went to a gathering and there was this one friend who commented on me wearing a lacoste tote 😂 she was like "my husband asked me if i want one but then i turned it down because its a bit pricey and dont want to spend that much on a handbags" like seriously mate! I tried my best to be low-key simple but then still being judged for wearing a $100 or less tote. Mind i own some designers too and all of them are gifts from my sister, i didn't even spend any penny on any of my handbags 😔 my sister is just being generous gifting me things that she out grown 😂
The irritating thing about judgment-is those that do it have a whole narrative about the situation they’re judging that is full of assumptions and inaccuracies. It’s a waste of time. We’re all curious beings-and it can be fun sport to wonder about choices one makes, even have an opinion about those choices, but always understand no one has the full picture. No need to judge.
runspud yes. They always say that stupid line “I’d rather have $1000 in a $50 handbag than the other way around.” First of all, that’s incredibly insulting. They are implying that people lack means and judgement.
@@jenryan82 I agree. Most of these comments are unsolicited and unnecessary.
For using and buying designer items. I am a 30 years male ... and i buy only certain brands of items for clothings and bags, some shows the logos most does not. I buy and wear them because i like beautiful items and things that can lasts. I never tell people or purposely reveal the brands of the things i use... i sacrifice other stuff to buy things that make myself happy. If people are going to judge or make me feel bad about it... i think its on them, its their inferiority complex... why judge others when you should just focus on the things you like to use yourself. Its such a waste of time.
BTW Sophie i have been a follower for months, and this is the first video i feel compelled to comment. Thank you for making your informative videos.
Speaking as someone who loves luxury, and with a background in philosophy and evolutionary psychology, I think we seek to display wealth as a proxy for how wasteful we can afford to be, which is roughly what extravagant gift-giving amounts to as well. It shows our ability to waste resources, which is ultimately a signal of financial freedom. But there is a fine line between giving expression to a modicum of financial freedom to outright financial flexing. That line is often blurred in the eye of the beholder, sadly, so people who like "nice things" are targets of a lot of negativity. Indeed, displays of "wealth" don't always go down well in the workplace, where the intrinsically competitive environment (the goal of which is more/better resources) does not always favour those who are ALREADY signalling their ability to acquire/waste resources. Alas, I think it therefore pays to be discreet in the workplace (easy for me as a loner/entrepreneur).
As it happens, my favourite designer is Stella McCartney, which is delightfully paradoxical because I get to display my "wastefulness" in wearing her GORGEOUS clothes while also wearing a brand that is incredibly ethics-focused (almost unparalleled on that front). To me, this is the best-case-scenario vis-a-vis designer and luxury fashion, although I must say I even have a soft spot for more vulgar luxe (like Versace and the wilder side of Gucci). I think this should be a place where we are allowed to have fun; indulge our trashier instincts. We go out to work to earn money and it's each and every person's prerogative to spend it however they fancy. If cute-ugly "GUCCY" sliders are the ticket, then go for it! H8ers gon' h8. (LOVE U SOPH XOX)
bet women are judged the most...it’s so sad that women cannot wear whatever they want (as long as it’s work appropriate) for fear of being judged by other women. Everyone should wear whatever they like as long as it is decent. 😡Women can be so mean to each other. Mind your own business and do your job!!
Agreed!!
Agree 100%!! It’s so frustrating.😡
I work in a recruitment office for the fashion industry and from time to time clients come in to meet with us. I was so embarrassed when one of the recruiters was wearing gym clothing to meet a client for the first time. I think she could see that the client who was wear a suit was not happy and she said "I'm wearing gym clothes because we have casual Fridays." If you are meeting a client the day of the week does not matter. As a woman I was embarrassed because none of the men wear gym clothing to the office.
indoora I agree, I’m not saying that everyone needs to look tip top every second of their life but there is a time and place and meeting a client is not one of them unless you are a gym instructor
Absolutely love this topic Sophie. I work in Finance and being a young woman, I often get remarks on what I am wearing, which doesn't really bother me. However, I have had my older peers mention my acne prone skin and pass remarks when I lost some weight. No matter the industry, women are always being scanned for what they look like and it absolutely sucks. Love your videos Sophie and thanks for covering topics like these xxxx
Interesting because I get comments at work when I lease a new car because it's a Lexus. "ohhhhhh you must be rich!". Makes me so angry. I'm not rich but my husband and I work hard!
I’m in Sales, and the unspoken rule in the industry is that you never drive a really nice car to work but you also never drive a super crappy car. Clients will judge and think you must be selling something at a really high price if you can afford expensive goods. Same with purses. I never wear any designer bags to work/to meet clients as it’s not appropriate.
What a horrid, sexist comment about a husband controlling his wife. 😳
If she earns her own money she should be able to buy what she likes. I would love a chanel bag or a rolex watch but at the end of the day health and your loved ones are more important than anything else.
Why the hell would she stay?!
It wasn’t that her husband was controlling her, her male colleague said that he NEEDS to! The cheek of it!
C exactly, that was my comment and it was a work colleague that said that. I played this video to my hubby this morning as he wasn’t aware of the comment that was made at work and his response was “it’s your money you have earned it and saved for it so buy whatever you want.” We give ourselves an allowance each week outside of our bills etc and we spend it on whatever we want!
Lori in Florida it wasn’t my hubby that said it, it was a guy at work. See my reply to C’s comment below.
At my work, people get paid pretty well-enough to be stable. So i’ve seen women with luxury bags walking around, men driving Tesla cars. I think there is a difference bc i’ve seen women having their bags commented on, but no one will tell the men off about their cars. I feel that is a big difference bc it gives the vibe that the man’s decision is more “respected” while the women’s choices are not, enough for someone to shame them.
I think it depends on where you work. In financial services especially front office roles in investment banking, asset management and wealth management most people wear luxury items all the time sometimes I think they even try to out do each other with their lavish lifestyles.
I’ve worked in trading for years in nyc and plenty of people especially bitter Betty women have judged me and others for our bags and shoes but the guys come in with Patek watches and openly talk about them and no one bats an eye.
When buying a luxury item the brand name is important to both the brand and the buyer. If you go to H&M and bring in a jacket that has a defect that you’ve had for a year they might not do anything about it but these high end brands want to protect their name and are, in most times, willing to fix that item or even replace it to make sure the prestige of the brand is intact. I had a varsity jacket I got from Coach and after a year after having it the leather started cracking. I take care of my stuff and moisturize and clean the leather regularly. I also store the item properly. They told me their was a problem with the dying process and replaced the jacket with a new one. No questions asked. They actually did this twice over 3 years and my third one is perfect but a high street brand just wouldn’t do that.
Which brand is that? Did you take it to the exact same store you purchased it from?
Ever García it was a coach lambskin varsity jacket. I took it to a different store both times and they had no problem. Although it’s considered more contemporary than luxury, their customer service is amazing. Maybe even better than Dior’s dare I say...
valid point. Luxury is not usually fast fashion but is usually a long-term investment
Why does it matter because i can afford it and they can't or they think i shouldn't have it. If I love something I'll wear it and keep it moving. Sometimes jealousy is the reason why they make us not want to wear our designer bags, shoes, jewelry. If we don't wear our designer things that we bought to me it's a waste of money. Great video and it really made me think why I buy designer items.
Such a great video Sophie! I don't recall anyone being openly judgy about my luxury handbags at work, although when I started contracting I definitely avoided wearing 'obvious' luxury like my Louis Vuitton, Cartier watch and diamonds as I've worried it would fuel that animosity towards contractors from permanent employees. While I've kept my luxury to myself, some of the gents I've worked with quite openly talked about spanking £800 on a golf club and no one batted an eyelid! I agree, whatever your thing is, do it, love it and revel in it.
Sophie, I'm 1 minute and 30 seconds into this video and I just wanted to stop and say how much I appreciate you for your content and for reading/listening to the discussions that your videos bring about. Love from USA.
Sophie’s face and the subsequent editing at 05:18 was priceless 😂
Agreed! That was great!!!
I love this topic. I think men often ask the price of a bag to make us seem like we're stupid to spend that money on that, but most of them don't know that luxury fashion can be an investment just like a watch.
Is easy to tell when you look at how Jeffrey Star used to get treated like a king for flexing high end things... a woman would never
It’s so true. And many of the people gassing him up were women. But as soon as a woman is flexing (not even) it’s a big issue.
I used to love Jeffree (not anymore though!) but I could never watch the video where he cut a Chanel classic flap bag in half. It's his bag and he can do what he wants but it was soooo upsetting. A lot of us dream of owning that bag and never will be able to get one. It's like doing a video where you just burn thousands of $$$ .
Kizzabell Yes, I disliked that video by Jeffree a lot - because it proved a lack of respect for the artistry and heritage of the brand. Plus, it’s a cheap, very distasteful way of bragging.
interesting vid: I am now part of the top management of my workplace, so no one will comment on what I carry or have :) - my sole superior is a guy with a thing for Porsche - and can appreciate that I would love to own a Birkin one day. No shaming or issue there - even if I asked for a raise. my female colleague probably considers herself too intellectual to discuss my spending choices (and so do I, but we are academics, so go figure). But in the past I have worked for a female superior, and she did comment once on my salary not reaching my husband... (LV monogram bag). Every other workplace, women have been competitive to carry the fanciest bag and jewellery, so can't really complain... (I work in Arab countries, so perhaps that helps)
I own a few designer bags and tend to wear them whenever I go out with friends or whatever and I remember I was invited to an outing to a restaurant for a friend’s birthday and I only knew my friend but the rest of the people present were strangers to me and one of them complimented me on my bag (LV Monogram trunk bag) saying “ohh look at you with a LV bag that must have been so expensive!’ And the whole table was silent and I don’t know in that moment I wasn’t comfortable saying “oh yeah this cost me this much money” so instead I said “oh sweetie don’t let this fool you it’s fake” then the tension in the room simmered down😂😂😂😂😂 but in that moment I felt the need to somewhat tone it down? I’m not sure but it felt weird😂😂😂😂😂😂
I’m blatantly honest. I would’ve just said “indeed”.
Ever García 😂😂😂😂😂 yess
You are so kind you probably don’t wanted to show off I have been in this kind of situation but I was silent and kept smiling 😄
I loved the fishing rod and reel comment compared to handbags. This is how I got my husband to understand why I like luxury/quality handbags. This is a very interesting topic and I enjoyed hearing the comments. Thanks for creating great content!😘
I feel like it's women judging other women for buying luxury. I never hear men judging women for what we buy. It's other women who are jealous, and probably don't want to work harder for those things.
Same experience for me. My female manager throwing shade on me for my appearance while she praises my dapper male colleague (who is great). I haven’t experienced shade from my male colleagues - if anything they are appropriately complementary and that’s it!
Nah. My male boss is a judgemental
b!tch
Definitely usually the women who judge me the most, but I’ve had some male colleagues who have also made comments about my bags. 😭
This is been one of your best videos regarding opinions I loved it! I work in a call center, so you can imagine the looks that I get (since we're not rich people) when I arrive to out of work gatherings with my nice accessories, but everyone chooses what their happiness is. I chose to save part of my salary every week so I can buy nice luxury items other people probably spend it in surgeries or traveling or food. I spend it in bags and jewelry. So, it makes me happy, let me just be happy
As a man, I feel we getting quite proud of other lads we are close with who have nice things like cars. I also think that men who we are less close to, we tend not to care either way or maybe feel slightly jealous but tend to keep opinions to ourselves. In terms to luxury on women, it actually looks quite nice to see them make that effort and generally men either won’t notice or will make a harmless silly comment about the cost because they have nothing more to comment on ie they can’t really discuss the design as they don’t know much about it. If a man is rude about it is generally because they have a bit of an insecure mindset (not trying to be rude) so they may feel lesser if they are not wearing something of greater value.
I feel like men don't really care, while women can be quite jealous of each other (beauty, things they own, experiences, achievements). I have a saffiano leather MK bag that I use as my everyday bag, including work. No one ever commented negatively about it, but it's not really an expensive bag. I wouldn't bring anything 500 USD+ or logo-heavy to work though. I'd feel uncomfortable and worry it would get damaged or lost (you never know these days); and it would draw unwanted attention. My social life is limited so I do not expect to have a large collection of bags, I just want a few of them that would be versatile and would cover all my basic needs.
Sophie, both my husband and I are dentist and my father is a jeweler, with stores in New York City. I have a lot of luxury watches and jewelry pieces, even 3 diamond wedding rings that I rotate. Women all ways put me down, they make passive comments that I am trying too hard and ask me why iam over dressed? They don’t see how hard my husband and I work or that we are just wise with our money. They only try to put me down for wanting to dress up or wear a nice piece of jewellery.
My friends would easily spend a few thousand a year on alcohol. I don't drink but if I bought a posh bag it would get judged as a waste yet I'd still have something to show for that. People fritter money all the time on small things but it just isn't as noticeable.
Imo ist mostly about the fact that most people cant relate to buying expensive fashion, because they are so used to buying shirts for 5$. I myself, a 20 something man, buy A LOT of Designer Items, and i dont even have a well paying job (Apprenticeship) Most people in my company do earn a lot tho. And i get judged for wearing this stuff all the time. Either i get put in the Rich Kid Stereotype (wich im not) or people go off about how unnessecary all of those things are & act like im stupid for spending money on them
I remember once after I got engaged , I was on the phone with my woman manager and she was asking me about my ring. She said oh that’s big don’t wear it to work. Another time a male manager , who is pretentious, got into my car and said wow this is a really nice car! It made me feel uncomfortable. He also told ppl at work I had a “nice “ car. He also commented on a handbag I had in the backseat. That’s a serious bag, he said. I really try to keep things toned down around work environment.
My fiancé is stunned by the prices of my bags when I purchased my first Louis bag he could believe it but now that we’ve been together for over 6 yrs he gets it and he gets the point of buying bags to for resale and weather they hold there values and I don’t think any one has the right to tell another person should spend on there likes and interests. Unless the person who is stealing or doing things that aren’t necessary legal to get material items that’s the only time I’ll be like hmm why is this person doing things that are bad to get a bag but if you work hard for your money your bills are paid it’s no one’s business! Love my luxury items and I’ll never stop based off of others rude judgmental opinions ✨💕
I like low key / understated luxury bags (no big logos, prints, and super popular styles). To me it's about the leather quality, the exquisite craftsmanship, the thrill of finding a vintage bag for 1/10th of the price at the store, knowing that my piece is "unique". I only have 2 totes that I can take to work. I got compliments but chances are they did not know the brand. I agree that women are judged more harshly for external signs of wealth than men.
On a somewhat related note but not involving luxury, I’ve had people look at me funny or even say things when I simply dressed nicely/ wore makeup during college (which is something I’ve always done!). Might have just been the college I went to but I have a particularly aggravating recollection where a friend of my older brother who also went to my college spotted me on campus and decided to message me brother asking him why I was dressed up so much and wearing makeup on a regular day...
I work in tech and I get this a lot especially from other women in the field. The kicker is that I pretty only wear t-shirts & jeans but because I paint my nails, style my hair and do my makeup, I'm considered to be "too dressed up."
@@Iloledatyew I feel exactly the same! Where I work now (in the biomedical space), I feel uncomfortable even wearing lip gloss or mascara because people point it out (not necessarily in a negative way, but it still makes me feel out of place) :/
This happens to me too. I like looking professional and polished at work even though the dress code is more relaxed then how I dress. People often compliment me but often people also ask me if I’m going somewhere after work to justify how I’m dressed. But I don’t care, I wear what I want, as long as it’s office appropriate. I’ve received a lot of compliments from men at work and inquiries about my handbags but never judgement from them. I’ve had some men actually approach me asking for my opinion on male style. I’ve never been made to feel judged by women in my workplace, but that might be because I don’t take bullshit and/or I tend to see the positive in most things people say to me. A guy at work once said to me that I was dressed like the Queen. I was wearing a kelly green jump suit with a white blazer, python pumps and pearl earrings. I loved what I was wearing. I guess I could’ve interpreted his comment as him saying I was dressed like an old lady, instead I interpreted it as I look regal and in charge. lol 🤷🏻♀️ I did look like I was running the place. Lol!
I also believe that the industry you’re working in makes a huge difference!
My creative coworkers (men or women) are oblivious to designer items that it wouldn't matter where it came from. My BOSSES on the other hand probably would notice if I came in to work wearing something designer. I had a producer who was always rude, hard to work with, and spoke with false sincerity - but when I brought a nice or interesting bag into work, she was sweet as pie and gushed over it. I could never tell if her reaction was ever honest or was it tinged with something nasty?
Hi I’m from Israel and in here luxury it’s considered rude the people that really has money will drive a Toyota while they live in the most expensive houses in the most expensive neighbourhood but does who just made some money and bought some luxury items won’t be taken seriously and would be seen as fake and cheap
I can't speak from an adult's perspective or a corporate worker's perspective, but I can tell you that this absolutely exists in teenagers as well. Especially in spaces with many rich people's children, it is common to own luxury items or even be dressed completely in the latest trends. The problem is that they don't buy it from their own money but their parents' and make others feel bad that their family can't afford such items. This also results in pressure on parents to spend more on luxury so their kids fit in. It depends on what friend groups you look at, but I think it exists in boys and girls alike, although many groups don't seem to care about those who spend immense amounts on trendy clothes and items. Some even look down on them because of their materialism.
I don’t often comment, I’m a silent viewer and have been for many years. But I just wanted to say that your necklace is stunning. I couldn’t stop looking at it, beautiful. Great video too, it’s really interesting how different people view luxury. X
I’m gonna be very honest here, one of the main reasons why I buy luxury is to look fancy. I don’t and would never have the intention of belittling the people who can’t afford them. I never wear luxury to say I’m better than you, but I’m not gonna lie, I want to look polished and classy. I don’t buy luxury all the time, but when I do I buy it to elevate my appearance. We are always judged by our outward appearance, and I always get better treatment wearing my nicer things compared to when I wear casual normal clothes. In my opinion we all try to be the best that we can be and actually show it sometimes. Let’s be honest when people buy a Chanel bag the craftsmanship and heritage aren’t the only reasons. I don’t think it is wrong, but it just needs to be done tastefully. Please don’t shoot!😖
of course we get designer stuff to look good haha no need to clarify
I agree
I wear luxe to the office but I work in a high tech corporate environment where each person chooses to spend their money how they desire. If someone doesn’t wear designer, it’s assumed they spend their money elsewhere. I didn’t comment on the last video since my opinion is not the majority. Women shouldn’t be ashamed for wearing designer. I personally feel it elevates your look and personal brand and it’s okay to take pride in yourself and not be afraid to show self care. I don’t think it’s just about items that creates perceptions. If you are well groomed with hair, nails, eyebrows, facials, etc.that also shows up in how your peers perceive you. I’ve had prior roles in outside sales and clients expected you to be and look successful so showing up basic looking didn’t help your sales. I have much more to say on this topic but I will refrain, including that I agree men who wear a Rolex are high fived and no judgement is given to them.
I am so happy you have identified this issue, Sophie. Where I’m from, a man owning a luxury item is seen as a sign of success, as bonuses are tied to performance. Therefore, the more expensive a man’s car/ watch/ whatever is, then the higher his bonus must have been. Ergo, he is a very hard worker. However, women are judged severely by both men and women for owning luxury items. Women are expected to be prudent and “humble”, so owning a luxury item can have her labeled as non-virtuous, even if she is just as hardworking as her male counterpart. I have over 30 luxury bags but just one regular bag which is what I wear to work, I had to do this after I was accosted by our FEMALE HR director. It is really sad.
I always wear designer stuff from head to toe at work, as I spend nearly all my time there anyway. I never had a single negative comment in the last 15 years. To be honest, most people have no idea how expensive stuff (incl. jewellery from Bulgari, Boucheron, Cartier) I wear as any branding is not visible outside. Every now and then someone might compliment my shoes, skirt, dress, earrings etc. or just say my outfit looks nice and I just smile back and thank. Basically, I wear luxury as a gift for myself to feel good and to bring me some extra joy through my tough and sometimes rater boring work week.
I always loved luxury bags but never thought I could afford them growing up. Now that I have a comfortable career and have discovered the preloaded market I finally found a way to buy the bags I always coveted (for me it was the LV SS Roses collection). I occasionally get push back from my co workers for “wasting” money on luxury bags when a $20 bag could carry my things all the same. I just say we all have our things we find joy in. As long as the hobby isn’t harming yourself or anyone else just let people be.
I also get some of my friends (who are not into luxury) telling me that since I walk around with luxury bags it can make me come off as “high maintenance” and “shallow” and makes men not want to approach me. Not sure what to think of that one. I am single yet I see many men out with their significant others who have much higher end bags than I do (Chanel mostly).
Great video though, definitely think there is some kind of double standard.
If everyone just came to work to do their work wouldnt that be lovely .why not compete in ur work n why compete by wat they wear
"I THINK NOT" hahaha had me dying
I am watching with my husband and we believe that every person judges based on their surroundings and beliefs since men do pay attention to these things but perhaps less than women. For instance my husband pays attention to luxe / nice cars but had no clue about the brands I like for my bags, until I started to talk to him about these things.
On the other hand , At the office I was not supposed to wear nice things because I was “flashing” or being “obnoxious” you could even get the label of “gold digger” or “you have a sugar daddy” “how can you afford these Things “ 🙄🙄🙄. Anyways, it is so annoying to have to explain to others so, what I did was “this was a gift” “I don’t know how much it is” 😂 so the conversation ends there!
It is very interesting to know that this happens in many other places. I am from Costa Rica 🇨🇷 by the way jeje 😉
Thanks for your videos, I absolutely love you and your content 😘
Have a wonderful Sunday my dear 🥰
As for judgment, someone that has no money at all will feel envious of someone that wears Bershka, and that person will feel envious of whoever wears Michael Kors, and that will feel envious of whoever wears Dior and so on and so forth. Same with cars and anything really. So if we worry about who we are upsetting we will never be happy cause we will always upset someone but that's their problem, not ours. As long as you're not hurting someone purposely either physically or mentally, you should prioritize yourself in that regard.
This is so true. For a long time Bershka was luxury on my head. OMG how times change.......
A person's job is important. I think the more senior the more the flash is accepted.
I loved this video Sophie and I totally agree with many of the comments about trying to look 'understated' at work. I'm very uncomfortable with people making assumptions about my finances and also how they may subsequently treat you (expecting more from you/envy etc). It was so extreme that I felt uncomfortable telling even friends and others that my university education was self-funded. Some of these friends spent my entire tuition amount on a car but were flabbergasted that I had spent this on my education!
I worked in an all male office and they didn’t care about my bags, they did talk about my car but not from a place of jealousy, from a place of interest and appreciation. However when I worked at a female prominent office, I couldn’t get through a day without comments on the effort I put into my attire and appearance for my client facing role. I dressed professionally and reserved, but always got the ‘’ oh, why are you so dressed up today?’’ Or “I can’t be bothered putting in so much effort into my make up for work” and much worse, unfortunately I have always found some NOT ALL females hard to work with in regards to being quick to judge. Who needs the drama? There are bigger things to concern yourself with than what I’m wearing or what I look like.
I feel lucky that the people I worked with don't care if some us wear or bring luxury item/s - most of our bosses even encourage it (I think they see it as motivation for other people who are in the lower position to work harder) as long as we work efficiently.
I agree with Moon, women judge other women most of the time. I think the difference is most guys don't care if someone talk about their clothes or car where as with women like my Mum, gets conscious, which is why we should learn how to ignore or handle the people who talk behind our backs with class.
I’ll be devil’s advocate here: 1. I think there has been a lot research that supports that happiness lies with buying experiences (vacations, fancy dinners, yoga retreats, than in buying material items. (Especially buying shared experiences)
2. We really buy too much stuff and it’s really bad for the environment. We kind of value our individual rights to purchase of the collective rights of all Earth’s creatures not to see the Earth destroyed due to overconsumption. Should we hoard luxury like bath tissue in a pandemic or only buy when our supply has dwindled?
3. People are often envious of those who own expensive items. And for some consumers of luxury( not all ), that is the point. “I’m doing better than you; you wish you could afford what I have.” Like people who buy their to year old Chanel purses or gucci shoes. If I buy a toothbrush, I’m not instagramming it. It’s only when I buy trophy items.
4. Luxury items also make people uncomfortable because it defines success very narrowly. Furthermore, if someone defines success as owning luxury, does it mean that I’m not successful if I don’t own luxury? Are people casting judgment on those who can’t afford luxury?
5. Im not sure many people appreciate fashion houses. Karl lagerfeld died and people weren’t exactly clutching their bags and crying in the streets. He was actually a jerk to some people. And I’m skeptical that anyone has any real attachment to corporations. It’s not as if a small family run outfit is designing and fabricating luxury. These are multi billion dollar a year conglomerates. They don’t care about me as a consumer, why should I be devoted to them?
6. I do understand buying luxury to be glamorous and sophisticated, which is the best reason to buy it as far as I’m concerned. You can buy well made items for less than a Chanel bag, but you can’t buy the fantasy from a small bag brand. Although arguably, a fashionable person could make inexpensive items look great. I also thought a lot about the Burberry example as expensive clothes don’t make me uncomfortable, but a lot of bags, watches, and cars do. Maybe it’s because we naturally stop ourselves from over consuming coats or shirts. Not many people are going to buy 10 Burberry coats. But a lot of people have ten luxury watches or handbags.
7. Oh I thought of something else: class warfare. Being able to buy a 5k handbag when your coworker or friend cannot maybe underscores the increasing divide between those with money and those without. That divide is not completely due to hard work and it reminds people of the opportunities they may not have because of education, citizenship, rearing, race, immigration status, disability etc. Maybe for some people flashing luxury is like talking about how easy it was for you to conceive to a friend who is infertile. Or gushing over your brilliant pregnancy and perfect childbirth to a friend who had a traumatic birth right after her partner just left her.
Just some thoughts...I don’t know what the right answer is, but I do know that a woman’s investment portfolio should not solely consist of handbags. We must diversify. I do enjoy Sophie’s personality and celebration of femininity. It’s why I keep coming back even though I’m more interested in beauty treatments than handbags. 😃
All great points! I was discussing this with someone the other day. As I’ve gotten older I’m a bit saddened by how we value hard work and the monetary value it gets assigned. The pandemic highlighted so much of this and it’s glaring! I know people who are working 60+ hours a week and when people judge them by their dollar worth it’s always “they should work harder” and I know people who don’t work hard at all and get paid quite a bit. Thanks lol now I have more to think on.
Chanel Simone Thanks! Yeah I think these are complicated questions that force us to define our values and accept that other people’s values won’t align with ours. It’s important that both people who like to consume and the conservative consumers be a little more tolerant of each other. My only real concern is that we don’t destroy the earth hoarding things. We know there’s a lives lost with the killing of animals, workers who are sometimes exploited, local environments that are destroyed by manufacturing plants, a carbon footprint and the generation of trash. We can’t do everything perfectly in terms of food and product consumption, but maybe we can just dial it down some. It’s good to occasionally remind ourselves of the big picture. I’m trying to do that and it’s not easy. But yeah, we shouldn’t associate stuff with worth. It keeps us on a treadmill, which I also feel like it’s worthless. Working that hard as you said, so you can buy something that doesn’t work that much better than a cheaper version? I don’t know if it’s worth it. I mean a $50k-60k car will perform really well, but is a $100k car really going to make your commute that much better? You know? There is probably an economics term associated with this-the law of diminishing returns, I think.
brilliant and valid points. but none of them justify having to listen to vile comments. everyone is guilty of overindulging in wasteful items :)
@@smritichawla9181 yeah. The $20 Walmart bag still exploits people, and isn't carbon neutral. How is the luxury bag worse?
Emma Cat Agreed. Sadly most people can only afford that even with an education and hard work. We’re all on a never ending wheel of consumption. Most things aren’t made ethically.
this entire outfit is so beautiful! x
As usual!
Unfortunately, I think its the case where women are judged more harshly, but at the same time women are also the ones that judge the most!
This was a great video!!! I have plenty of stories especially being a black women in corporate America and a single mom of 3 (they’re grown now I had them young😉) they just couldn’t understand how I was doing it!!! Which is crazy because I had the same job they had so wouldn’t I be able to do it!!! My expenses where different I didn’t pay for golf membership or golf course... that’s what my Dad was for so I would just play with him. But women are always judged the hardest and it is a very same that it comes from other women!!! But I did learn my lesson long time ago when I came to work with the same car as the head doctor 😩🤷🏾♀️ but life is to short... Do Not Let Anyone Take Your Joy!!! If you like I love it!!! Do whatever you want. 😁👍🏾👏🏾👌🏾
Never clicked this fast! Love these type of career related videos🙏🏻
I LOVE THIS!!!! Everyone chooses how to spend thei money!! My husband likes all his techie things, cars, etc., and even if he doesn’t understand my liking of designer, I like to point out that my designer goods will outlast all things techie and even retain most of its value 10 years later.
PS: I find the shaming of designer items especially amusing from those claiming they’re not materialistic and prefer an experience when they’re paying cash (vs points)
SPOILER ALERT: that’s also a splurge!
Love this video Sophie.
Love this insight!
I must say, I went to a private school, in which all of my classmates were covered in designer clothes. It was hard to become their friends, because I couldn’t afford going out with them, so I was excluded by this « elite ». The experience has marked me so much that 15 years later, even if I love fashion, I can’t bring myself to buy designer stuff haha! So maybe I can understand why someone associates luxury to the desire of « proving something ». I am not justifying that behaviour of course!
I think this is also similar point to university, like a student bringing designer
I've commented before on a few of your videos. I'm a guy who collects bags and other designer pieces. I love them, couldn't care less about cars as i don't drive due to a bad accident years ago that put me off for life. If I've had any comments from men it's been because of fragile toxic masculinity in regards to a guy wearing a "woman's" bag. If I've had any negative remarks from women it's been due to what I can only interpret as jealousy. "I'd never spent that much on a bag!" while she's carrying her fake version and dressed to the nines. I dunno it's a tricky one. I've had negative comments from both, tho typically men are just curious and interested! Women I meet are either very excited or give me daggers. The attitudes and people in Northern Ireland are rather archaic though which doesn't help...My uber masculine boyfriend thought it was interesting but now he just laughs at the fact that carrying a bag is a safety blanket for me.
I love how passionate you interact with your community and how you actually get engaged 💜
OMG you made laugh with that comment at 15.14!!!! I think NOT!!!!!!!! XD
I love your videos so much🥺❤️ I’ve been bingewatching them for the past few hours 😂
I'm such a fan!!! Your videos make me feel so positive and happy at a time like this
Brilliant topic. I really enjoyed.
Hi Sophie!! Hope you have a wonderful week! Always happy to see new videos from you! Such a generous, sweet soul!❤️❤️ Alex has a very valid point!
I absolutely feel bad that I spend so much on a handbag and I can't wear it to work where I spend most of the week. I have sort of accepted it since I do want to avoid any sort of judgment based on what I wear but it is quite sad.
I don’t think you will ever be able to “avoid any sort of judgement”.
I love that you discuss this Sophie. Honestly it’s been a struggle. I like cars and almost always get comments asking how I afford it etc and I’m made to feel uncomfortable but if it were a male colleague they’ll get a congratulations and keep it moving. It got to a point I didn’t want to take each new car into work in order to avoid having to deal with comments.