Blaming Yourself For The Breakup
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- Опубліковано 23 лип 2024
- Breakups can make us rethink every action or decision we made in a relationship and leave us feeling excessively guilty. In this video, we talk about self-blame and how to manage feeling of self-blame after a breakup.
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That's what Ive been doing constantly but realise that no one is perfect in a relationship and it takes two healthy people to make something work......
I am avoiding relationships but when I do come together with somebody at some point my anxiety kicks in.
Most of the time I could calm down but I had my moments over the years especially in the end where I lost it and acted needy, neglected, controlling and jealous when she triggerd me a lot and we didn't find a solution and talked about it clearly about our fears.
I think a lot about my own mistakes and it makes me nuts somedays but in the end you have to forgive yourself not always being the best you could be.
Each party plays a role in the breakup- one usually shares more blame than the other. But as long as you know you did your best, and/or are working towards bettering yourself and learning from past mistakes (so as to avoid making those mistakes again in the future), don’t beat yourself up about it.
Move on with your life. Chase your dreams and achieve your life goals. Become the best version of yourself. Work towards bettering YOUR life and yourself, for you. Everything else will then fall into place. You’ve got this! It may not feel like that right now, but time is a wonderful thing. Do something valuable with that time. You’re going to be amazed with what you have achieved when you look back. You’ve got this!
Right! People also want to save others. But you can't save everyone. Especially not until you saved yourself first.
❤
I am at the stage of the breakup where I am my worst critic, and I blame myself for what happened, even I did everything I could to save that relationship.
I've been beating myself up because she finally admitted she needs time to heal childhood trauma. To learn to love herself so that the love I have for her will truly be felt. I put blame on myself for not sending her on this solo journey sooner, so that we might already be two whole people at this point and our paths intertwined again. It's tough but was absolutely necessary for us as individuals and for any hope at a healthy future
Talk about what I’ve been realizing recently… talk about your biggest critic is oneself. Stay on the course, get stronger and be better🙏🏼
Thank you for another great video. When I emailed you 5 months ago, this is exactly what I was doing: blaming myself for both dating him and the breakup. My voice was Gollum at that time, but now it's more like Yoda. I'll schedule a Skype soon. Thank you and Margaret for the work you do. ❤
Wonderful voice imitation, coach Craig! :D Also, very helpful video, thank you :)
Just started watching your videos the other day and already my ex/ babies mother is getting back into her emotions and reconsidering Ive been changing as a man for the better of myself took advantage n miss treated my girl very bad whenever she got snappy at me yea she would get mad but i over exaggerated saying hurtful things. Thank you for everything Craig I appreciate all in what you teach.
Another great video Craig - personally I find them extremely helpful. Margaret is a superstar!
That’s an understatement
I love you guys! You are the best ❣️
My ex was really good to me.
Until later on during on of our dates. She started sighing at small things I said, grew a bad temper constantly , and was being distant from me. Then after we ended, she began emotionally abusing me for months, holding flaws I had and mistakes I made in the relationship over my head. It’s been 9 months NC, and she’s recently posted dating someone new. But I’m still not over it. I’m over the relationship but I haven’t fully healed from her mocking me, dismissing me, emotionally abusing me for not meeting all her standards. The fact that she can date someone else makes it so difficult for me to believe it’s not my fault. And her words.
If anyone could offer some words of advice I would really appreciate it. This has been so tough for me. I don’t even feel ready to date anyone again yet
What if you were at fault? Does it matter in the end? You can't change the past. Nor would she come back if you admitted it. Besides, it's doubtful you were the only one at fault if she failed to communicate her problems to you, until it was too late. Mature people don't go the extra mile to pull you down after the damage is done. Based on just what you wrote about her, sounds like you are really better off without her. At least you got some experience with dating. Maybe next time you'll spot red flags before you get too attached and you dump someone like her early on. But you can't know until you at least try.
Great one !
I forgot to post this a couple videos ago thanks for making a video about controlling fathers
I have named my inner voice critic - Gargamel. this video made me laugh. Thank you.
The first time i got dumped by my ex gf i blamed myself the second time around (same person) i found out she was the problem all along.
I want to ask 3rd time she came back again
Great job thank u
This Diane fr Davao Philippines...just started my healing.
Hey Craig can you do a video about having to see an ex/(or guy you dated who ended things) for example at a party/through mutual friends? I've been trying to avoid my exes but we have a lot of mutual friends. So I have to miss out on things my friends are doing because one of the guys I dated might be there.
How do you deal with seeing an ex at a social gathering. Neither of you planned to see each other it just happens because you're in the same friendship circle.
Every failure brings with it a seed of equivalent advantage. Every day in every way I'm getting better and better. I would name the inner critic "the ego" or "Mr Bungle". This reminds me of a European movie called "Revolver". There was a character referred to as being named "Gold". There was a line in the movie one character sneakily whispers to another in the street: "Nobody sees Gold but Gold sees everything."
Hello! I understand how you're feeling going through break up I know of someone who will help you fix your relationship issues
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I’ve never beaten myself up so badly! It’s been brutal knowing I could have fixed what lead to breakup. Everyone is telling me otherwise though.
I can refer you to my middle finger.
@@toddparker2229 hahahhha nice one mate
Thank you
It’s so hard for me not to blame myself (I guess that’s a part of my Virgo ♍️ sign). What’s triggering it back up again, is that I saw one of my classmates wedding posted on Facebook and got me sad and worried that we may not have that anymore. I even got the ring.
I keep going over the last text message he sent. Shit keeps me up at night. Smfh
One of the best things I did was delete her number. For that I also had to delete text messages. I unfortunately didn't delete messenger messages and I caused major setbacks by reading them every now and then. If you find the courage do delete every message he ever sent you, you'll heal a lot sooner.
@@andrasziegenham6766 i deleted them a long time ago. The feelings are still fresh in my mind tho. Unfortunately, on a daily.
I hope with time it heals. I got broke up threw text and no face to face. I lost my mom on the 18 of this month and not even a call. Sometimes a person was going to do something no matter what. Take care of yourself and remember to be good to you.
@@aaronk4310 sorry to hear that, my condolences. Similar situation but broke up by email after not reaching out for my birthday a couple of months back, blocked after that, sent a couple dozen of roses and made it worse, and eventually leaving the whole situation alone. If two people were decent to each other in the relationship then a face to face is the mature thing to do. Breaking up by text or email (unless abuse is involved) is immature and disrespectful. Lost my father earlier this month and she reached out a few days later (text). I responded a day and a half later stating thanks for her prayers because se really does pray when she says, and she pressed the heart emoji. I left it like that. I say all of this because with time feelings change and progress could be made with time. I'm sure your ex cares but everyone deals with breakups differently even if they were the ones who did the dumping.
@@williamsw2219 fact had a different actually call to say she never forgot me but I've just too time to be single and become a better me so I'm ready when I step out again.
That emperor voice during the course was a surprise, to be sure, but a welcome one.
Lol. We had soooo much fun doing the cartoons!
Lol. We had soooo much fun doing the cartoons!
I'm nearly first. Another winner from Craig x
Been blaming myself for 20+ years even though I’m not the one that cheated repeatedly, stayed out all night, disappeared with our son, etc. She has never taken responsibility for anything, just me 🤬🤬🤬🤬😢😢😢😢
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Wow coach i was wondering for dis video... I'm fellng ot actually bt i didn't did anything wrong he leavd me still y im felng dis answer
My ex said he would "update me tomorrow" but never did. Is he tricking me to reach out?
This is me blaming myself and wanting to fix it
Hello! I understand how you're feeling going through break up I know of someone who will help you fix your relationship issues
➕2348159521705⏯️⏯️💕💕???????????????
I could call mine Iris, because that's my mom's name and she was my first critic, so it seems appropriate. Lol
I’m using my father’s name as my inner critic. He is a master narcissist and excels at finding fault in everything I do or say.
Humiliation lasts for me
Can somebody help me? My girlfriend and I broke up on vacation due to her finding old nudes & an irrelevant tinder account on my phone. She forgave me for the nudes but decided to assume I was cheating based on a tinder account screenshot with no messages or anything on it. She left me in Cancun and we haven’t spoke since, she has blocked me on all social media and texts also her sister, sister in law & mother have blocked me. Her brother is the only one who hasn’t. I’m at a loss because I know I didn’t cheat on her and I wanted to explain everything but she never gave me the chance. Please help.
No contact and wait give her time and respect her decision she is asking to be hurt you have to hear her in The Break-Up as you didn't in the relationship otherwise it can never be repaired.
@@biancadelarosa7986 find another sucker spammer
I would say Nancy Downs from the Craft 😅
How about when you were indeed distant and unhappy due to her not being able to get her weight down from pregnancy and she loses the weight but then she didn't care for makeup and the like and then gets hooked on Marijuana and you get into arguments over the addiction and your 4 year old watches the arguments and then she leaves you and you feel horrible. And when you reach out she tells you she doesn't have any happy moments and doesn't want you anymore. Do we not blame ourselves? 🤔
Name yourself critic... i just think of the disney movie, Luca.... "silencio Bruno"
I say that to those thoughts of mine all the time. Lol
Aunt Lydia
I name my inner critic Cruella 🤭😁
±2349155402990⏯️⏯️⏯️⏯️ Hello it's works I can't believe am with my love again after so many years of break-up.,
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Dr. Evil ... heh heh
Pinocchio
?
Cause he's a liar. I'm awesome 😎
Oh lol
Goofy