I just want to say, through this channel you all have made me have so many realizations. I had weight loss surgery in 2016 when I was in my early 30's. The weight came off so easily and I really felt like I could and would never gain weight ever again. You can probably guess how that went. Even though I had lost a significant amount of weight and I was feeling really good, I was technically still in the "overweight" category for BMI when my weight loss stalled. Let me tell you, my bariatric surgeon was really great at his job, but he didn't understand psychology. He pushed me to continue to "fight like hell" (his exact words) to get lower and to weigh myself every single day. I started trying to add back in things like counting calories, that had temporarily worked in the past. Overtime, that backfired and I ended up gaining back some weight. As years went on, I eventually tried to go back to the steps that worked for me then the surgery was fresh (no snacks, only eating every 4 hours, drinking a ton of protein shakes, etc.) but that would lead to me obsessing over eating, obsessing over the time, and basically grazing all day. I felt so out of control. It was absolutely miserable to go through something as huge as a surgery and still feel like you failed. I could go on and on all day with my story (I already deleted a whole paragraph so not to put you all to sleep, lol) but thanks to finding this channel, I let go of so much, have had some amazing ah-ha moments about what was going on inside my head, and am really feeling hopeful again. Thank you.
I appreciate the conversation. There's a piece I didn't hear either of you say directly. It's maybe a bit adjacent to what Stefanie said about the safety issue. It's access. Because of the way our society is set up, there are a number of things I cannot access being in a very large (over 500 lbs) body. So, saying that I should just accept where I am means, for instance, that I should expect to never visit Europe again (I'm in the US). Short of radically revolutionizing society's (or at least the airline industry's) view on fat, there's no other way for me to affordably achieve that without losing weight. I have had a similar experience to what Sarah described. When I was in my late 20's I stayed at Esalen (a retreat center on the California coast) for 3 months as a work/scholar. That was not the only time in my life I've lost weight. There have been many. But it WAS the only time it was effortless. I spent my days washing dishes in the kitchen and my evenings in contemplative practice or hanging out with friends around a fire. The food was organic and clean and provided on a regular schedule. And it was hands-down the best experience of my life. I have no idea how much weight I lost during that three months, but the clothes I arrived in were VERY loose-fitting by the time I left. I truly wish I could live every day like I lived there, but I doubt that's possible in our regular society. So if I want to be healthy, it feels like it requires attention and effort.
Thank you for sharing this with us, Jason. I want to really firmly reiterate the difference between the idea of “just deal with it” vs accepting the reality of something. Social advocacy and intentionality around health (AND/OR intentionality around weight loss, even) are not necessarily contradictory to accepting what we are working with. So for example, I can accept my reality and still advocate for systemic change. I can also accept my reality and also work towards safety in my body to the degrees that I have influence on it. I want to be clear that “acceptance” does not mean laying down and dying.
As a mom of four young kids, there are many times I would love to get out for a walk alone or would love to make myself a more satisfying meal. That makes me think someday I might actually lose weight when my responsibilities subside. But then I think that might just be wishful thinking. I do think I’m at peace now either way.
When my son was born, my weight went way down in that first year because I literally didn’t have time to take care of myself. For the longest time, I tried to recreate that “newborn diet.” But I finally abandoned that pursuit because it wasn’t realistic or healthy. It took years to overcome that resistance, however.
I think there is always nuance as you say. Perhaps not though if you have the genetics for an ED. If I go in to energy deficit I trigger the response for Anorexia (even though I am not in a body that looks ‘underweight’) For me to diet/ restrict is not an option - intentional or otherwise - or it becomes at ED. I just wonder if there aren’t more of us with this issue that aren’t diagnosed - hence the ones who are so called able to diet. For most, I think the size of our body is not something we can control without a lot of negative consequences/ body push back in the long term.
I understand what your saying but at some point after the bingeing is under control I need a plan to lose weight or be at a high risk of another heart attack
Weight is not a health behavior. We can only address behaviors. Heart health has relationship with movement, nutrition, and stress (among other things). These things can be addressed absolutely.
@@evanhadkins5532 Me too! I have been recently diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and was told to lose weight and reduce my carb and sugar intake. Of course, the minute I try to cut back on sugar then my primal brain kicks in and demands more sugar! So there's a constant internal battle within myself.
I just want to say, through this channel you all have made me have so many realizations. I had weight loss surgery in 2016 when I was in my early 30's. The weight came off so easily and I really felt like I could and would never gain weight ever again. You can probably guess how that went. Even though I had lost a significant amount of weight and I was feeling really good, I was technically still in the "overweight" category for BMI when my weight loss stalled. Let me tell you, my bariatric surgeon was really great at his job, but he didn't understand psychology. He pushed me to continue to "fight like hell" (his exact words) to get lower and to weigh myself every single day. I started trying to add back in things like counting calories, that had temporarily worked in the past. Overtime, that backfired and I ended up gaining back some weight. As years went on, I eventually tried to go back to the steps that worked for me then the surgery was fresh (no snacks, only eating every 4 hours, drinking a ton of protein shakes, etc.) but that would lead to me obsessing over eating, obsessing over the time, and basically grazing all day. I felt so out of control. It was absolutely miserable to go through something as huge as a surgery and still feel like you failed. I could go on and on all day with my story (I already deleted a whole paragraph so not to put you all to sleep, lol) but thanks to finding this channel, I let go of so much, have had some amazing ah-ha moments about what was going on inside my head, and am really feeling hopeful again. Thank you.
I'm so glad our podcast has helped you understand yourself a bit more and given you some hope ❤
I appreciate the conversation. There's a piece I didn't hear either of you say directly. It's maybe a bit adjacent to what Stefanie said about the safety issue. It's access. Because of the way our society is set up, there are a number of things I cannot access being in a very large (over 500 lbs) body. So, saying that I should just accept where I am means, for instance, that I should expect to never visit Europe again (I'm in the US). Short of radically revolutionizing society's (or at least the airline industry's) view on fat, there's no other way for me to affordably achieve that without losing weight.
I have had a similar experience to what Sarah described. When I was in my late 20's I stayed at Esalen (a retreat center on the California coast) for 3 months as a work/scholar. That was not the only time in my life I've lost weight. There have been many. But it WAS the only time it was effortless. I spent my days washing dishes in the kitchen and my evenings in contemplative practice or hanging out with friends around a fire. The food was organic and clean and provided on a regular schedule. And it was hands-down the best experience of my life. I have no idea how much weight I lost during that three months, but the clothes I arrived in were VERY loose-fitting by the time I left. I truly wish I could live every day like I lived there, but I doubt that's possible in our regular society. So if I want to be healthy, it feels like it requires attention and effort.
It sounds like the experience of "home" that I wish more of us had.
Thank you for sharing this with us, Jason. I want to really firmly reiterate the difference between the idea of “just deal with it” vs accepting the reality of something. Social advocacy and intentionality around health (AND/OR intentionality around weight loss, even) are not necessarily contradictory to accepting what we are working with. So for example, I can accept my reality and still advocate for systemic change. I can also accept my reality and also work towards safety in my body to the degrees that I have influence on it. I want to be clear that “acceptance” does not mean laying down and dying.
@@iamstefaniemichele thanks. Yes, I believe you're right. I'm still struggling to integrate a surface level understanding into a deeper felt sense.
As a mom of four young kids, there are many times I would love to get out for a walk alone or would love to make myself a more satisfying meal. That makes me think someday I might actually lose weight when my responsibilities subside. But then I think that might just be wishful thinking. I do think I’m at peace now either way.
Every episode is so interesting and you are both always so careful to be as sensitive as possible to all listeners ❤
Ahhh we appreciate that because it’s very tricky and there are always nuances! Thank you for writing in. ❤
Great episode!
When my son was born, my weight went way down in that first year because I literally didn’t have time to take care of myself. For the longest time, I tried to recreate that “newborn diet.” But I finally abandoned that pursuit because it wasn’t realistic or healthy. It took years to overcome that resistance, however.
The hard part of this for me is my weight is at a point where it hurts to exist. I could lose half my body weight.
I think there is always nuance as you say. Perhaps not though if you have the genetics for an ED. If I go in to energy deficit I trigger the response for Anorexia (even though I am not in a body that looks ‘underweight’)
For me to diet/ restrict is not an option - intentional or otherwise - or it becomes at ED. I just wonder if there aren’t more of us with this issue that aren’t diagnosed - hence the ones who are so called able to diet.
For most, I think the size of our body is not something we can control without a lot of negative consequences/ body push back in the long term.
I understand what your saying but at some point after the bingeing is under control I need a plan to lose weight or be at a high risk of another heart attack
Weight is not a health behavior. We can only address behaviors. Heart health has relationship with movement, nutrition, and stress (among other things). These things can be addressed absolutely.
Hi ladies ❤🥰
I'm an older guy who was diagnosed with type-2 diabetes. So I needed to lose weight and not put it back on.
One antidote to attachment is curiosity - let's see what happens if I do this.
@@evanhadkins5532 Me too! I have been recently diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and was told to lose weight and reduce my carb and sugar intake. Of course, the minute I try to cut back on sugar then my primal brain kicks in and demands more sugar! So there's a constant internal battle within myself.
I know a few people who go by their middle name in the Midwest :)
My brothers in laws are Texan and I'm sure a few of them go by their middle names
I think the embarrassment about middle name is an English thing, I remember that x
It WAS a thing, wasn't it?!