Accepting my baldness was a great accomplishment for me and to be honest, I didn't suffer much from the loss. Once paired with a beard, even if not very thick like mine, baldness makes a good impression, at least in my case. 😎
When i was chubby nobody fat shamed/called me fat. But when i was skinny many ppl skinny shamed/called me skinny. Although being skinny is not considered attractive for a guy but i think most ppl would rather be skinny than fat.
Being skinny for a guy is definitely more attractive then being overweight. Sure muscular is ideal but a handsome man with a skinny body or muscular one is the ideal. An overweight man is never handsome as fat makes the face more neotonous. So his attractiveness is hidden in a way. I'm a gay dude so that is my perspectiveabout it. Women don't want a fat man either, they just are not vocal about it as many women struggle with their own weight and don't wanna be seen as hypoctited.
Next step for this project is to do some sentiment analysis on these comments. Maybe create a semantic embedding with sentiment as an additional dimension. Really interesting to see some data science here. Your combination of interests is awsome
I went to amiugly...All these 6/10s showing up on there asking if they are ugly. No they are AVERAGE. They won't move people to act differently. So they feel ugly. Very rarely do you get a person on amiugly below 5/10. The problem is a new subreddit needs to be made. I don't know /r helpimprovemylooks..strictly on the subject of improving looks. This way a different question is being asked. amiugly asks...ARE YOU UGLY. Being AVERAGE is not BEING UGLY!!
This comment is the best comment in this section. Ur right. I use to be ugly. Now I am not. I can tell you, if you have the balls to take photos and post them, but sometimes you don’t like the photo. You are average. In a good way.
the only thing more brutal than being ugly and being treated poorly because of it, is having people claim that “you just need to work on your personality” or “beauty is subjective!”
I think that "you need to work on your personality" is actually fair kind of. But people need to acknowledge that they need to be more attractive personality-wise because of they suck genetically. I mean they really need to be exposed to this cruel reality shit. Kind of compensation maybe? I personally could easily pull up in long term relationship with someone who doesn't meet my standards (which are not that high already I guess?) if the personality would be beautiful and intriguing. But tbh I've only once met a person who was really interesting and entertaining and was like low tier in terms of beauty. I dunno how does it work, if I was ugly (I consider myself mid but I experienced much problems with being insecure about my attractiveness) I would think first about being the best at everything else to you know make people be genuinely interested in me.
@@Aaron-kj8dv then u ask them if u find them so beatifull would u date him The girl on tiktok said sais well i wouldn't But there is someome out there who would. Like since when do people start saying there is somone out there for everyone??
exactly one of my friend said that to me and now i don't want to be her best friend anymore just normal friends i don't want to be close with people that only have one way to live bec she's average person don't have the same trait to understand how annoying people are n she probably love people bec she have lots of friends opposite of me n i can see she also don't like when people being rude to her for no reason then why should i go on tolerate people find me repulsive merely bec of how i look and it's alot of people almost everywhere i go I'm the crazy yep they will say that about me but i agree i might be crazy cause I'm still polite to these people when they make fun of my looks n call me crazy....i can't be her bestie because she will tell me that I'm beautiful for her n go on tiktok quote what i said to her before n then say her opinion "so stop with the natural thing, i really don't need that when i get so much negative feedback" but she need to know we live in a society i need friends it's easy for her to say that cause she never run out of friends also i have a wider nose than average, people that don't know me completely will make fun of me all the time n it's annoying because basically everywhere i go people have to be extra rude to me... the nicest i hear is people convince another not to judge me and also they talking about future kids bec they worry about it happens to their future kids😂 also she will deny that's a statement against me bec i told her the sentence are something i wrote to her, she will go and change what i said by saying "haha English word is everywhere n why you think only you know how to write" she kind of acting like I'm wrong for saying she use what i wrote by dodging why it's exact same word what i said to her i even have in on the group chat with one of our friend , but at last i knew I'm right about cause she say could be her other friends say that i show her it's same date she still say that n i told her yeah but i remember you told me you were supportive if that's my decision then why talk about it on social media n if you said that's a different friends it's the same thing if you think your friends need that then you think the same about me n i told her if she really seen me as friends dealing with different opinions she should take it or leave it I'm not harming other people she goes hahaha i said take it or leave it n argue with her about that bla bla😁 yeah i know that's how i know she's not a real friend i still remember in highschool when i was eating with her once she told me i would be really pretty if i have a smaller nose👀she probably don't remember that but i will bec i care about her even though back then i will disagree that I'm her bestfriend n i was right we are not a match honestly , i wouldn't judge whether she want to be with her now boyfriend or break up i remember both times when she breaks up with her boy i don't care i just want her to be happy n when she got back together i thought the same what i care about is her being happy n i want myself be happy too n if she really thinks I'm being lunatic yep I'm lunatic for tolerating so many annoying remarks n stay being polite or just totally ignore those people that ever call me crazy bec of how i look , to tell them I'm different from them bec I'm not being a jerk but those being one i will just let them talk bec i believe my actions speaks i don't like them either ew nasty people n that i don't care about anything else i just know that i want to look normal n feel normal like back when i was in primary school I'm happy bec i was cute back then i think I'm at my cuteness peak by 9 yearold if not 6 yearold nose haven't fully developed i remember shocked when there's once i got a nosebleed n get medicine n the doctor said bec I'm younger it's easily tear n don't worry about the nosebleed my nose is still growing i was like no i think it should stop growing👀😳n i was right except i really don't expect to be this repulsive for humans😂
Exactly the problem is most people place so much worth on beauty, but also beauty is subjective. Like personally I’ve found some pretty “unattractive” people beautiful.
I think most of us who aren't conventionally attractive know we aren't because of how invisible we've felt for most of our lives, especially when being around people who ARE conventionally attractive and seeing how they get treated. I've felt that way for the longest time and have struggled with ways to improve my appearance, only to be told by friends and family they think I'm beautiful and I'm being silly and shouldn't focus on appearance so much. It feels frustrating and dismissive. On the other hand, almost every time I interact with people I get a question or comment about my appearance. "Have you lost weight?", "have you gained weight?", "your hair's going gray", "your cheeks look sunken in". You're not supposed to focus on looks because that's superficial, yet they constantly remind you how much attention they pay to your looks. I'd rather people just stay quiet altogether and I'll get my advice from the professionals. I also think the people on Reddit would be a lot more honest if the question were posed to them through an anonymous poll, so it wouldn't be part of their charity work for the day and they'd feel safer being honest.
this is true. It seriously sucks, in fact I've faced this as well myself. Back then my beard was never shaved, my hair looked like a mess, the amount of fat in my face was crazy. Yet, people gave me compliments about my looks. Well I tried dating and NOTHING worked, I couldn't get a single girl to be interested in me. After a while, I hit the gym, got rid of the fat in my face, built muscles and practiced skin care. Around this time I was recovering from a depressive episode so I was committed to change. What really delayed my improvement was the fact that the amount of compliments started going away as I was working on myself so this made me think that maybe I'll never look good. Still a year or two later, my jawlines look much sharper, I have a much lower body fat percentage and now have defined muscles and abs. Almost no compliments, but a much better success in the dating world. It's crazy, how much people lie to your face about something that is so important.
Yeah good luck on getting people to tell you, you're no attractive. Maybe your family do consider you beautiful, this sounds more like a you problem. You seem very depended on what others view you as, to the point that it's toxic. I mean what exactly do you want from your families and these polls? to confirm what you already feel and know? you already said people treat you differently than the conventional pretty people anyways, now you need a poll and validation from your family. Maybe you should find that within yourself, instead of looking outward so much. Nothing is better than self love, and I know that sounds corny but it's true, and a lot of unattractive people that have it stand out, people can feel that you lack confidence and they'll start to believe how you feel too. I've meet girls that I didn't find attractive, but they had so much self love, and carried themselves like a 10, and I subconsciously put them in that category. Anyways not everyone will be attractive and that's okay, that use to be accepted, now everyone feels entitled to it, work with what you have and make the best of it.
@@noneya1238 I don't think you understood what I was saying. I've never done any polls, I just meant the people on Reddit that this video is about probably would have been more honest in such a format. I am also not constantly looking for validation; I already said I'm pretty sure how I rate in general and have been trying to make some improvements. The constant remarks and questions I get on my appearance are unsolicited and without any context and also clash with the message that appearance doesn't matter, which is why I said I'd prefer it if people didn't say anything either way and I'll deal with whatever issues I have with my appearance on my own with professionals.
Are you the person in the roach costume? You look attractive enough to me. You are not ugly. Just average. I think you are saddened you can't move mountains with your looks. Neither can billions of other humans. Maybe you live in a place where there are people who are more attractive than you. I accepted that I won't move mountains with my looks. I exercise because I had back pains, leg mains and neck pains. They all went away when I started exercising. I also want to live at least 85 years. Yes, I could probably have someone give me the features of what is considered attractive. However, just know when everybody starts to go in for those surgeries, it becomes the norm. Then they'll lose any advantage. Now maybe that won't happen over the 30 or 40 year career path. If you want to move up without having to solely care about your looks, become a scientist. Yes attractive scientists are worshiped like they are angels in the field. It just means more people are willing to run and teach them. The truth is the only way scientists will become more attractive is if attractive people who go into it succeed lol. They'll attract attractive people and help them realize that they can do more than just be known for looks. People don't understand that being too attractive is also a curse. There are times when you want to be invisible, and they'll just keep coming non-stop. In fact a company failed somewhere in an asian country when they allowed an attractive woman the funds she needed for an experiment that failed. They gave her the benefit of the doubt...and now she's looked down upon in the scientific field. Haruko Obokata was her name...
A crazy thing that happened to me is that some people used to treat me better when I was ugly. When I started working out, treating my pimples, changed my hair, got the braces and glasses off and became pretty (at least in general) - some friends I considered close stopped complimenting me and commenting / liking my posts and pictures on social media. They also seem a lot more sensitive about things I say , I can’t really say nice things about myself or make some jokes because I seem arrogant or futile.
TYRANNICAL yep a lot of women become hostile toward prettier women. They like being around “ugly” girls bc it makes them look hotter in comparison. They love competing with each other
I am in some beauty/makeup groups and I noticed that the girls that are kinda just objectively plain or unattractive get a ton of comments like “omg girl you’re so gorgeous” and then the actual beautiful women get little to no comments or praise, often times a lot of criticism or lowkey jabs. Women love to gas up other women, so long as they aren’t better looking .
@@celestial6101 That can depend on your country's culture. Living in two countries, the way they react to your looks can be very different. In one, if you were truly beautiful you'd receive compliments all day and people would want to befriend you all the time. In the other, they'd stare at you _a lot_ and be intimidated to actually approach you unless it's a setting where you'd have to often interact with each other OR if you approached them first.
I feel like when someone is obviously attractive people compliment them less and if you're an insecure attractive person you grow up thinking you're weird looking or there's something wrong with you. Just my own experience. I can see why this makes sense cause I've seen very average looking people being told how good looking they are and I'm confused sometimes lol
Toxic positivity really sucks because in the end it’s doing way more damage to those who have the drive to be better. This is in any field be it beauty, art, work and so on. Like most of the people who ask for advice on self improvement can recognise they desire better and just need help understanding where to go and how to get there not nice little words to mask something.
Seriously it is damaging ! For years I was told I was thick not fat . Well here I am at healthy weight after losing 120 pounds in one year . I went back and looked at my pictures when I would be told this . I was huge , with a big belly and huge thighs . My boobs were smaller than my belly . My ass was wide and not thick . For years I was told I was thick and I believed it. It did me no favor I didn’t change the way I ate. What made me open my eyes ? COVID when I couldn’t breath at 269 pounds . Obesity made COVID that much worse for me . So yeah I wasn’t thick like everyone close to me made me believe , I was fat ! .
@@jackcranmer4904 thanks never have I ever weight a nórmate weight in my life . Last time I was at this weight was 6th grade and I’m 33 now . Sadly those who wanted to see me at a healthy weight now accuse me of doing drugs to get where I’m at . You can never win . Damn if do damn if I don’t 🤷🏻♀️. I’m happy and hot now !!!!! Something I’ve never said before!
Oh i have to tell u my experience , it was just observation about people’s psychology. So on insta i have posted reaally ugly, funny , unprofessional art (i mean my art) and it had big reactions: wooow an amazing art, bravooo, it’s very different, interesting , I’m obsessed with it etc. okay after that I deleted it and posted better art, it was much better trust me and 0 reaction and i was like wtf
The worst part about this is that none of these people would date the very people they are calling beautiful. They’d say “they aren’t my type” and date someone much more physically attractive lol.
@@ZuZu66667 I dont understand doesnt both people have to choose each other? If a girl u dont like comes for u, how u going to accept it if u cant get it up, not only are u lying to yourself now youre wasting everyones time.
@@novueiro i have to disagree, yes of course guys have preferences and all of that, but you must be handsome too. Evolutionary women will choose the best features since they care the child for 9 months, but men aren’t picky, they want to spread their genes as fast as possible. This is hard wired into our biology, you can’t reason with it. Women will choose the men, unless the guy is very handsome.
I strongly believe that we should start saying "it's ok to be ugly" instead of saying "everyone is beautiful" cuz everyone isn't physically beautiful but u shouldn't have to be treated horribly just cuz ur ugly. Being ugly and having flaws are totally ok. Flaws aren't beautiful they just imperfections and again that's ok😌
But what you're saying hasn't been true for humans since ever. It'd be nice if ugly didn't have such a terrible connotation but it's true. Regular people don't want to be friends with ugly people, they don't want to do business with them or hire them. Maybe we shouldn't focus so much on looks in general. Too many people obsessed with beautiful and ugly and to be honest I've been called both of those words many times in my life, not sure which one was true and which one wasn't, so I prefer to base my value and value of others on their actions rather than looks.
I think it wouldn't sting so much if "beautiful" wasn't associated so much with "good" and "ugly" with "bad" in the moral sense. Attractiveness is an amoral quality
@@stab2486 yh it's sad cuz I what I've noticed is that in certain countries( america) ugly ppl are treated like the plague while in my country, yh ok the person is hard to look at but dam they arent treated horribly. Their love lives might be rough but they aren't completely ignored and overlooked💀
@@divx1001 I wouldn't call this behavior a "human" thing... more like a cultural thing that can be learned based on the beauty standards in that culture🤔
but then you have to define what ugly is. and there is no definition for that. Beauty is subjective and if you really wanna tell somebody that their ugly then just tell it yourself.
Ugly wouldn’t be such a powerful word if we didn’t lie to everyone who is ugly by telling them they’re beautiful. “Ugly” could be “average”, and that’s not a bad thing. If most people are ugly and are told they are, being told you’re ugly too wont sting so bad because you’re not the only one.
@@sarah.3599 it’s not starting, but it do become a criticism somehow, even most of the people using the words “mid” are pretty “mid” themselves, they just want to feel above mid by calling people mid. I just find it very ironic and laughable.
I am UNPHOTOGENIC, but I look good in real life, my friends and family say I look good but whenever they see my photos they say why i am looking very weird there. because of this whenever someone take photos with me I try to avoid it. could you please make a video on it.
Y E S. Same here. Unless I'm taking the photo or a professional who tells me how to pose, I look so...like I don't wanna be there. I wear my heart on my sleeve, and it shows up in pictures.
Wouldn't say i'm the prettiest person irl (maybe 3.7-4), but damn do photos paint me 2 ugly sometimes. People also have said that i look much better irl.
I recently see this on Twitter that in between an argument on a completely unrelated argument people would bring up the person's look to shame him or her and get some likes. I find this very disturbing how our self worth is tied up to how attractive we are so much so that even having a valid opinion will only be taken seriously on the internet if you have a good profile pic . It's ridiculous and I think that's why some people on the internet try to overcompensate to counter the negativity by leaving such comments. Ps I also noticed the victim of such shaming recently are mostly men it seems like being mean to men and shaming their looks have become a trendy for some reason
it's not just only on twitter, but this happen all the time in real life - when somebody can't make logical point they will try to bring down the other person by shaming her or him for their looks. This is how idiots behave when they run out of arguments and often these twats are not any better looking. Usually women are shamed this way in real life in my experience.
(Sorry for my English) Hey, I want to share my experience with a "glow up". I'm a medical student and I always tried hard to get good grades. The thing is when I was fat and didn't care much for my appearance, everyone thought that I was so intelligent and hard working, etc. But after vacation, I returned with -10 kg, I dyed my hair blonde, changed my glasses and practiced how to put on makeup. Everyone treated me differently and I became more popular. The thing is that I kept having good grades BUT now there are rumours that say that I have romances with professors or that I f*cked them to have good grades. Also there are people who think that I came to med school just to get a husband ¿?
oh man sorry for your experience. its so fucked up at so many levels. to treat people differently merely based on their appearances is just inexcusable :/
Imagine studying for years to get into med school, then studying for years while in med school to become a doctor, dedicating so much time and effort only for people to say that you are looking for ela husband. Kind of tragic honestly
That's a very interesting experience. In some sense the rumours are a compliment because it means people think you're worth gossiping about, and they show that your personal transformation was a success, even if it somehow overshadows your hard work in other areas. It also just goes to show how cheap it is for people to have an opinion, and how the value corresponds with that cheapness. The things you control, and the work you put in to improve yourself as a medical professional and as a person are much more valuable. So please, persist.
I think pretty privilege is more of liability... Like yeah it feels good but this comes with envy and sexual harrasment. Idk what's better being invisible or being attacked?
This is so true though. I notice that when a girl whose body is average/curvy/chubby/fat and has an average looking face posts something on TikTok, everyone in the comments is full of praise saying things like "omg slay," "ate and left no crumbs," "so stunning," "wow i'm in love." Meanwhile, when a skinny girl with a pretty face posts, the comments are so mean: "you know what you're doing," "i'm never eating again," "when is it my turn to be happy." And so many of them are so full of jealousy, blatantly projecting their insecurities onto the girl when she just wanted to post a video of herself like everyone else does with no intentions of showing off or making anyone jealous. I think this happens because people don't feel threatened by the former but they DO feel threatened by the latter, so they start getting defensive and try to put her down. People feel better about themselves when they compliment someone they deem to be inferior to them while putting down and insulting someone they feel is more attractive than they are.
In the opposite way I have also realize that some people tend to call really attractive people “ugly” or say comments like “I don’t understand why everyone likes them” or “I have never found them attractive”. Is like they feel proud of it. Edit: Just to make it more clear, I’m aware that is completely normal to not feel attracted to someone that is considered attractive by “the majority”. The kind of people I’m referring to is the ones that tend to put so much effort in putting dow someone that is considered attractive just for the sake of making them feel unattractive and that they don’t deserve the attention they get. Same way there’s people that just dismiss someone’s attractiveness to feel superior for not following what the majority says. Also just because you don’t feel attracted to someone it doesn’t mean the person is not attractive.
I do say that kind of stuff but because I genuinely don't like some celebrities people find attractive, like for example the Kardashians. I think they look hideous before and after plastic surgery and it didn't work for them imo. Neither their bodies nor their faces are good looking because it looks too exaggerated and unnatural to be attractive to me.
But it can be true! Personally, I will never be able to find Bella Hadid beautiful. And it's is not BAD to say you don't understand the appeal if you're not trying to bring that person down and just express your opinion.
I found out I was ugly when I posted on reddit and people told me I was attractive after browsing more, I realized everyone told the ugly people they're attractive, and told the attractive people they're average. Or they were over the top with their comments.
Man, the Internet has changed. Imagine asking if you're ugly on an anonymous online forum 10-15 years ago. It would've been rough even for someone who's average
Its Gen Z and their performative wokeness. They’re so delusional and anyone who challenges their delusion is shunned. They come up with all these new terms like “fat shaming”…like nah being fat is not something to be praised, they’re literally at higher risk of serious diseases, why are we encouraging this?!
@@girlthattalkstoomuch9425 Most people wouldn't really think the person asking is super ugly or smtn, but they would rip the shit out of them anyway. I miss the old Internet, before it became a hypersensitive shithole.
That was back when the average person didn't use the internet, and only particular types of people were on those forums. As with most things, it was ruined by too many people getting involved.
The nerd in me enjoys this, but the social person doesn't. The people who are truly ugly already know it, and won't ask about it on reddit. The only ones who will wonder are average looking people with low self esteem. And most of us actually find average looking people more attractive than real beauties since we can relate to them. So I don't think it's dishonesty as much as people genuinely finding each other approachable, and it's personality rather than looks that makes people lonely.
This is so true! The people who are considered ugly are already aware of it because of how they’re treated! But the people who have low self esteem and need reassurance are going to be the ones asking about their appearance
Very true. “Average people with low self esteem” sounds right. If you swing between thinking you’re ugly or beautiful and need outside input then you’re average or okay looking. I think people do respond well to pretty yet approachable faces- perfection is daunting and still ultimately different. Pretty features mixed with flaws appeal.
@@blythetaylor4063 never meet someone who didn't have flaws even extremely attractive people have them, just not as much as average or ugly people , also some people change there appearance expcialy women with all the makeup , makeup can definitely change someone's appearance drastically!!
I wonder if it may be harder to detect how attractive/unattractive other people find you if you're autistic, which I am. Also how generally polite or rude is the circle of people you engage with, I think that can matter a lot. I actually dont know, but think I'm somewhere in the middle. How pretty or ugly I find myself can vary from day to day
When someone is beautiful they rarely recive compliments,they get treated with preference and admiration,or jealous people envy them.Being aesthetically pleasing is the ultimate dream for everyone,because how the world treats beautiful people.
@@strangeclaims no thats not true at all, it really depends where you live. Women especially hold back from giving compliments to attractive men to stop them from getting "inflated egos", that seems very common
as someone who has been called ugly by basically everyone in the universe, why does ugly have to mean bad? why can’t i be ugly and still be happy? it’s so backhanded. there’s nothing wrong with being ugly, stop treating people like it is.
The answer is a small town or maybe another country, their beauty standard quite stark actually. For example, you can be an average on big city where your friend aren't jealous of you, buut.. come to asia and bamn! All girl(and men also) starts to complement you.. it's matter of perspective actually!
In all honesty, you have pretty eyes, GREAT eyebrows, a slightly wide nose, good forehead and cheeks but girl that haircut in TERRIBLE 😅 if YOU get called ugly often you must be living among supermodels, and I have no interest in just being nice.
I have noticed that in both real life and online that the people who get the most compliments are in what I call the safe category. Like a 7/10. People who are in fact rather attractive, but not stunningly attractive. Very attractive people do get compliments, but not as many as the safe group. Very attractive people also get more jealous, negative comments. "She isn't that pretty" kind of comments. I'm talking about in day to day life, not places like the strip club where it is expected to fully objectify the performers. I'm not talking about very famous or powerful people either. I believe that this has to do with the human ego. It's easier to compliment someone that you feel equal or superior to. When your insecurities are activated a lot of people want to avoid, or degrade the source of the insecurity.
@@adettessubs444 you confuse being average with being beautiful but with good amount of averageness. People don’t find average People attractive. They find good looking people attractive who also share some more average features. So that basically means most women prefer a good looking actor like Henry Cavill over the slightly odd looking Supermodel Sean O pry. Both are attractive but the latter has less averageness
I prefer "not sugarcoated" to "brutal" It's good that people recoil from being brutal, so it's easier to think of it as holding back the urge to cushion the criticism rather than brutally dressing down someone's appearance
I dunno. I see the beauty in most people. Sure, some people may not be conventionally attractive, but unless you have been severely deformed, I am probably going to see nice features. I’m tired of the beauty conversation. Everyone does have beautiful traits and ugly ones too. I don’t care who you are.
@@katherynrice1657 Beauty is subjective, and desired features always change with time. Health and wellness should be the focus over beauty any day. Please don’t be hard on yourself. Perfection is overrated anyways.
@@katherynrice1657 Well, the comments are mostly from subscribers to this channel, and this creator is obsessed with current beauty ideals. The comment section on this video do not reflect the real world, or what most people think. Beauty isn’t everything, but if someone can’t see the beauty in you, they are not worth your time.
@@katherynrice1657 something that helps me when I get too obsessed with my appearance is to think that I'm doing exactly what corporations and the patriarchy want. They want you not to love yourself and base your self worth on beauty instead of something more profound. Changing the base of your self worth is hard but worth trying
Actually it's interesting to see that people have how much low physical attractiveness standards in real life when physical attractiveness standards in the media industry are so unattainable. It looks like that people prefer being positive and complimenting when they see a person who has equal physical attracriveness level, nitpicking when they see a person who isn't looking in the same league at all. It's called human nature.
This is what happen when you're improving yourself they always tell you that you're good when you're at the bottom then when you're reach the peak they throw shits at you
Your videos have me questioning so many things. I've always considered myself a solid 4 or 5 without makeup. I've never really received compliments about my looks and for years I had some BDD. In recent years I've gained weight, dress down more often than not. Its the first time in years I've gotten a few compliments. Recently a few acquaintances admitted to me that years ago, they actually found me intimidating and thought I was probably stuck up because of "how pretty I was". This genuinely shocked me because I never felt pretty and part of it was because people I saw called pretty were, no offense, not that great looking. I figured I must be hideous if even average people got compliments. Now looking back I was quite attractive and its sad I never saw it that way. Now I don't think so but I'm also more comfortable. Life is strange I guess haha.
I had a very similar life experience in my youth, although for me: the men were intimidated by me and thought I was stuck up, whereas some of the women actually thought I was homely because I didn't wear makeup. The women genuinely just didn't perceive what the men were perceiving about my facial look. I was also perplexed when so-so looking women would get heavily complimented. That's all water under the bridge though; now I'm 50 years old and just trying to hang on to my looks for as long as I can.
@@victorycall that I can somewhat understand. The few interactions with guys who did try and talk with me would tell me I was intimidating also. I always chalked things up to having a strange appearance. I never really saw girls who looked like me growing up (I have large eyes and otherwise small soft features. I used to get picked on for them so I developed a sort of resting B-face as a defense mechanism 😂) but up until maybe 7 years ago I was always very small and soft looking. It was baffling to be told I was intimidating. But more often than not I almost never got compliments or approached by either gender. I've had a few traumatic years and I've responded with "letting myself go" but I realize that's not probably the best response as I'm in my mid 30's. Definitely keep your beauty inside and out! I'm realizing I need to do the same and I'm trying to make changes. So strange though to find out people found me attractive AFTER I stopped being attractive 😕 people are interesting.
@@menak8870 I just want to give you some encouragement on "getting yourself back" (the opposite of letting yourself go). I was overweight during my late 30s and 40s and a few years ago I quit drinking alcohol and stopped eating junk, and I started eating nutrient dense food. I started exercising and now I feel better than I did when I was in my 20s. Feeling great and having the confidence that I'm going into older age in the best shape possible is the payoff; looking good is a bonus.
I wish someone could of told me it was okay that I was ugly when I was growing up. I would of killed to hear that instead of “oh don’t say that about yourself” or a fake ass “no!! You’re pretty!!”
Lord Jesus Christ is coming back everyone, please don’t worship celebrities and entertainment, focus on Him alone. I promise there’s more to life than money, partying, homosexuality and music. Hell is real, repent from sinning confess your sins and ask God to forgive you, I know He will if you’re sincere. Anyone who thinks the Name of Lord Jesus Christ is a joke, boldly mocks and scorns Him or takes pleasure in people who do is in for a big unpleasant surprise on judgement day IF they don’t repent and follow Lord Jesus Christ. Hell is very hot, people please repent! In the mighty name of Lord Jesus Christ, Amen 🙏💪✝️💜❤️✝️! Idolatry such as, Islam, Catholicism, Sangomaism, Buddhism, Hinduism, Santa Clausism, Confucianism, New Age, Science, Evolution, halloweenism, Harry Potterism, Politics, Donald Trumpism, Easter Bunnyism and other religions/faiths that are outside Biblical Christianity lead to hell! Don’t believe them, believe the Almighty God the Father of Lord Jesus Christ, who begot Him. Our Creator, The God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob is mighty, He doesn’t need a woman to beget a son, He is God. I choose to put my faith in a God who can do anything and everything, a God who has unlimited and infinite power to beget! So, it’s time to confess that Lord Jesus Christ is the Lord and to believe that He died and rose from the grave after three days and you shall be saved if you only obey Him by praying, worshipping, praising, reading the Bible and living holy and righteously according to the Bible. You have to endure until the end, carry your cross daily and build your relationship with God by following Lord Jesus daily until the end. You must never renounce your faith in The Lord Jesus Christ, there’s hell awaiting those who reject/deny Lord Jesus Christ and those who continue living sinfully, even the Christians who don’t want to repent will face the same fate, so please repent beloved people, in Lord Jesus Christ’s mighty and precious Name, Amen.
@@Kaz-sg1ih I would have hit the gym sooner if someone told me that earlier on in life. I learned that its important to be the best version of yourself, which is different than being someone you're not.
Yes, it's dismissive and it makes the impression that being ugly is the worst thing ever, like "you can't be ugly by any means cause that would be the worst tragedy in history". I think being pretty is a great thing just like having a good singing voice or being a good dancer, writer or cook. All wonderful gifts, but you can't have them all. I mean, I love music but i sound like a frog when I sing and that's OK, is not the end of the world. Why do we make it so when is about beauty?
If you’re a woman, how to easily determine whether you’re conventionally attractive or not is to hangout with some female acquaintances. If they’re petty and rude and never give you compliments or it’s like pulling teeth to get them to say something nice to you, congratulations, you’re pretty. 🙄
my classmates told me i'm disgusting and they want to puke when they look at me does that count?🤣 ok i'm just kidding, because they compared me to the other ugly girls in our class, so i understood how i looked in their eyes
Just go to a convention or somewhere with a lot of socially inept strangers. I went to one after getting my final plastic surgeries and I was validated several times. Random girls came up to me to tell me I’m pretty, guys would do very long stares, and the person checking wristbands for 18+ rooms looked really suspicious of me and held me up. I’m almost 30. Ever since then I’ve had strangers recognize me everywhere like I became famous just for being the best looking person there. Random people at my apartment pool going “hey isn’t that the girl….?” Regret because I’m borderline aspergers and don’t want to interact with anyone
I’ve noticed all my life that men and women are quicker to call a beautiful woman ugly to her face than to an actual Ugly woman..hence why men now complain that unattractive women have big egos and inflated self esteem... shocking 😒
I've been in some of these subs and I've seen overly harsh people calling average looking people ugly and suggesting unnecessary plastic surgery so there's also a lot of projection of insecurity in these subs and it isn't professional at all....
I LOVE that you're calling Reddit out for their dishonesty with data. This is such an informative video. It's in the same vain of this cancerous "Body positivity" culture. People need to stop LYING about people's attractiveness especially when it comes to being overweight and unhealthy too. They're promoting unhealthy lifestyles and I see it a lot.
Exactly. You’re dead average, certainly not ugly, but not close to as hot as an above average girl on a college campus. I’m guessing the simps on the internet have convinced you yoi’re attractive since you post your face a lot? It’s just embarrassing. Did you think you weren’t talking about yourself in your comment?
I can’t imagine asking someone, especially a stranger, if I’m ugly. It feels like fishing for compliments. If I wanted constructive criticism I would ask a professional. My last comment on my last video was “u’re not even fat. I’m 5’7” and 195 lbs. I think I’m about 2lbs away from being clinically obese. I have an underbite, my eyes are crooked, I’ve broken my nose twice, I have rosacea. On my plus side, I dress well so it makes me somewhat more attractive. My ex husband once said “you are pretty enough to have men attracted to you but not so attractive that you make women insecure”. I think that’s about right and puts me at a 3 or 4. Or at least it did when I was younger. I’m happy with how I look, I feel confident, I feel perfectly at ease with my looks. I’m all for self improvement, whatever that means to the individual. For me, it’s to continue learning, to keep my mind sharp as I age and to maintain body flexibility as much as someone with my conditions can.
To be honest though, I see hundreds of people everyday just through work, and I rarely find anyone ‘ugly’. Not my type sure, maybe not beautiful, but not ugly.
Toxic positivity made it so I am suspicious of compliments, and I’m a conventionally attractive person (most of the time). In high school, this girl was complimented on her blue eyeshadow. Except it was not blended very well and it was creasing; I just didn’t think it looked very good. So now when I get compliments on my curly hair when it’s a mess and I’m not sure if it’s genuine or not. The other day a random woman in the park said, “I’m not gay, but you’re beautiful.” It felt genuine, but how do I know?????
I always say if it's coming from a stranger, that owes you nothing or expects anything out of a compliment(maintained friendship, romance, etc) than it's pretty genuine.
Thing i've noticed is this phenomenon is mostly caused by women and especially by women towards fat women and fat models especially, it's like actually beautiful people or skinny models in this subcontext offend the audience and makes the audience insecure and nitpicky while seeing an ugly person the audience feels a sense of security and safety and pities them in a way.Girls especially looking at conventional skinny models feel insecure about themselves and their bodies while fat models make them feel better about their body and makes them feel more safe while mostly men are not really that prone to this phenomenon. While beauty standards for men are definitely unrealistic as well, men don't usually have this jealousy and insecurity response to it but the most common response is one of admiration and hype in a way to achieve the body that is being shown to them,that's why the fat acceptance movement is literally non existant in men and is a phenomenon observed only with female models and female audiences. But generally i'd say the fat acceptance movement is a really good example of the phenomenon of toxic positivity
I've rarely been directly told that I'm attractive. I would hear it all the time when I'm passing by people, but few have actually said it to me. I went through school and college with very few female friends, they would literally not befriend me and they would also instruct their boyfriends not to talk to me. I never thought that I was attractive at all but looking back I must have been pretty damn hot lol. What I noticed on social media is when I changed my profile picture (was a cat picture) to a picture of my actual face I got tons of new followers. So in conclusion, if you've never been told that you're ugly but also never received compliments, chances are that you look good!
I also experienced that and tbh most of my boyfriend's friends dont even make eye contact with me or talk to me if I don't talk.. i also don't have many female friends and theg always say yes we will go out someday and never go out with me. Men don't approach me at all my boyfriend was the first guy who approached me irl this is quite funny actually
last time when i was on r/amiugly i saw a 4/10 get called beautiful too often i never went on reddit again, these ppl are full of shit or straight up just have no standards or see the sub as a smash or pass game, in which case we know redditors would smash anything on 2 legs. im not exaggerating, many replies oozed horniness instead of honest critique of the persons looks
Also, pretty people who are often low trust get shit on a lot online. Madison beer is a good example of someone who often gets rude comments by jealous (mostly) women.
@@lilypond5158 I think they mean face shape. Like sometimes you can see a person and think "this person looks trustworthy" or "this person looks shady". There was a vid about it on this channel too. Deep set small eyes with little of the whites showing is one of the traits that make me trust people less.
Also one thing I observed that not-so attractive people are the mostly ones who do these types of comments. And maybe there is an element of indirectly validating themselves, if someone other upvotes it.
I think Reddit or any such forums hardly helps in these types of questions. These sites are more effective in discussing facts, experiences, etc. Advises are so bad, vague and generic all over the internet that I sympathize with people who really looked forward for some good comments.
Trust me, I was attractive in ages 18-25, it doesn't save you from problems. NOBODY tells you you're attractive because people think you hear it day-in-day-out. In reality, besides my immediate family, I was told I was pretty only a handful of times. I would see ugly girls update their fb profile pucs and all their friends comment "oh, wow, you look amazing!" and nobody would comment anything on mine. Being pretty doesn't equate being popular and having uplifting friends is the result of popularity. On top of that, even if I were studying in a uni full of men (engineering) - and you'd think I'd be asked out left and right - guys wouldn't even talk to me because they were intimidated. They were all embarassed and thought I was unlikely to notice them so they would have their Egos protect them and not approach me with the argument "if she likes me, she will approach me on her own". That makes *some* sense, but only in case of popular girls, and I wasn't that. I was also very shy. Moreover, I had professors think I was taking advantage of my attractiveness to have boys help me with uni or even to cheat with their help in exams. Finally, the worst problems came from my immediate family, as I have a fat sister who was jealous of my looks and would put me down on the regular and my rest family just allowing it, making me even more shy due to the social anxiety the shame of having such a family caused me.
Yes, being good looking and shy/introverted/ have social anxiety is not really a good mix. people assume that you are stuck up OR like you said boys don’t approach you bc they think you are uninterested.
Well. Seems like you have shitty personality....maybe thats why no one ever approach...iyou are so self aware that you are pretty 🥰.and those Facebook girls are ugly too you...maybe they are preetier than you in other aspects
As a guy I can confirm that talking with very pretty girls is scary, unconsciously I feel like I'm grossing them out or wasting their time, I actively avoid them to not feel uncomfortable
That's basically all true. However, even though I wasn't considered gorgeous in school, my fat sister definitely had a better strategy than yours. She reminded me of her bountiful bra size frequently. Everything has its advantages and disadvantages.
I hate when people lie about your looks. They don’t do it to make you feel better. They do it, because their own integrity is weak. It’s cowardly. You can be honest without being hateful. People need to learn to handle the truth, both telling it and receiving it.
If I could offer some perspective… There’s a whole movement of people shaming attractive people for not overly complimenting average or unattractive people enough! Attractive people are literally told to “pay it forward” and that they owe something to people who are less attractive than they are.
*Beauty wouldn’t be so controversial if it wasn’t seen as currency & a metric for a woman’s value. The main issue is that ppl get mad at you for being attractive but, they’re more mad about society’s rules.*
Ngl...Some honestly go to these subreddits to fish for compliments. I've seen people post pics with all the desirable features just because they want someone to tell them what they already know: you are beautiful
ikr? I see it in the female hair advice reddit where a woman will post a pic to ask for "hair advice" where you can barely see her hair/it's been affected by a filter or something. Most women not just fishing for "omg ur stunning!1!!" will post clear pics of their natural hair, as well as their unfiltered face to get the best advice. I just find it sad cause I feel like it discourages less attractive women from posting cause they don't want to be compared
I consider myself to be conventionally attractive but I have consistently put in work and effort to get here. I hear so much toxic positivity whenever I’m discussing improving my looks even now. For instance, I said to a friend the other day my next goal is to lose about 2kg and tone up my stomach. She just rolled her eyes and said I didn’t need that and that I’m beautiful. I don’t understand this kind of response, why is it such a bad thing to want to improve your looks?
@@canesugar911 but either way self improvement isn’t something that should get trashed on whether or not the person is already conventionally attractive.
@@lynooxx her friends are not trashing her for simply stating that she is conventionally attractive. Which she is. As she stated herself. The funny thing is if the friend had mentioned to her to lose 2kg(5pounds, which most people can't even tell) then she'd make a fuss about her friend shaming her.
@@canesugar911 how do you know what I would make a fuss about? My only point was that it seems as if wanting to improve your looks is not met with support regardless of whether or not you’re attractive.
@@user-xb5rl6wt5j from your accusatory tone. That's where. You cannot put yourself in the same category as people who aren't attractive because the whole toxic positivity thing is mainly targeted towards unattractive people. Sooo your point is............
I saw this so much growing up amongst girls and it damaged the unattractive girls confidence long term cause they weren’t getting the recognition they were told they would receive
I believe conventionally unattractive people are praised because not many people see themselves as attractive and by praising the unattractive, then they don't have to do any work and so if they don't improve, it decreases competition. Imagine if every obese woman lost weight, the amount of beautiful women in the world would double and average women who were not overweight would have more competition. So praising ugly people is a way of weeding out the competition.
I don't think it's mean sprited; I think they just feel pity. They know they perceive the person as unattractive and they feel bad that they thought that. So, they virtue signal and give a compliment to make themselves feel better, to get rid of that uncomfortable feeling. Little do they know that it's incredibly unkind, infantlising and condensing. Above all, it's selfish.
I have always theorized this for years but like the comment-er above me I also agree it’s 90% NOT mean spirited. I believe this is all done subconsciously so yes while on the surface they may tell themselves they’re being fake nice because of pity but like I said before it also eliminates competition.
Yes it's difficult to know what to improve when everyone tells you there's nothing wrong. Like when I was fat. "Oh your not that fat", "you're only a little overweight". Lies I was morbidity obese. Fake nice could of put me in an early grave. I'll add it took a foreign co-worker to be honest. They told me you would be beautiful if you lost weight. You too fat.
@@potatowarrior747 oh I am well aware. When I was just talking about how I lost weight and how my health improved. Someone got angry at me. Yeah I should of just stayed fat with hypertension. I knew were my life was headed. Fat activist are going to kill people.
I did notice the most guys who post their pictures on those reddits get a lot less feedback and comments compared to most woman. Also that the more attractive a person is on there the more comments they get.
I'm considered attractive as a woman with caucasian-esque features in South Asia. Green eyes and all. In primarily white countries, I would look painfully average of course. But there's a hostility of other women here towards me that has made me stop attending parties. The "compliments" I receive upon first entering parties and family functions are "you can easily pass for a white woman" which, unfortunately is considered the epitome of beauty. The girls my age don't like this attention so they counterattack with "they're obviously blind. You look like a light-skinned brown girl trying too hard to appear as a white girl" and "you look like you're a wannabe aishwarya rai. Trying too hard" and "you look like you're a wannabe Russian girl". I don't like these backhanded "compliments" and it's turned me into a hardcore introvert. I know I can't complain because girls with darker complexions have HELL to face here and my situation is a non issue in front of what they have to endure... But I still...idk Edit: messed up a few words lol
@@zunaslogic4128 Do you live India. Then you're like 0.1%. If Pakistan then maybe be 1.25%. I bet you look sooo pretty. You should do something great with your looks. 🥰
I grew up very overweight as a kid and my peers made me know that. It was really mentally draining to be bullied for my looks and then have my friends and family tell me I was fine and that people are just jealous instead of helping me when I wanted to lose weight.
It's really irresponsable to lie or overhype someone about heir appearance because it might get them wrong ideas about what to expect from life. My Family constantly reminded me how "pretty" i was growing UP (i was just average cute) which led me to dellusion as a teen and then Huge downfall as an adult. That's a Real shame because without this i could have focused more on working hard and building a nice personnality.
I’m sorry that you went through that. Sometimes I think that exaggerating a child’s greatness is just as harmful to the child as constantly and unjustly putting down the kid. The child ends up acting entitled and conceited, and they’re left bitterly disappointed when the real world tells them the truth. I’ve seen people take a mighty big fall when the real world reminds them that they’re not “special” and they’re like 99% of the people in this world - “regular”.
Totally disagree with the result of the video. Just because the first sentence is „you‘re not ugly“ doesn‘t mean the next one is telling how beautiful and model-like you are. There will come advice that make the best out of the given material. Not having model-qualities, doesn‘t make you ugly. In reality, it‘s very rare that someone is considered ugly from top to base. Its more like some features that drag down the overall look. A model would look worse with thinning hair too. When you‘re average with thinning hair, that might make you less attractive, but not automatically ugly. And you can rock a receeding hairline, you have to consider what works best for you. Some people really profited from a new haircut, others can torally „wear“ a bald head, others were happy with medical treatment. Not choosing medical treatment doesn’t mean that you follow the bad advice. And added to that, character plays a huge role! Has always done. You can‘t compare real life with social media. Average guys get pretty girls too, but when you‘re online, it works differently. The online world, you present yourself mainly by looks, and it is not really possible to replicate the rest authentically. When you struggle with that, go offline more. You are not ugly when you are just not a model! You can improve you looks by caring for your health, skin, hair and own well-being. You don‘t need surgery! Especially not when you are just „average“, because you will find another flaw to improve by surgery anyways. There definetly are cases when surgery improves quality of life, but before taking such a drastic step, listen to the advice given in such forums. Beauty is and always has been subjevtive and comes together with good character. Social media makes it easy for us to only look at our bodies, but when you go outside and meet real people, you will 1.see that most people are „average“ and you will struggle to find a truly „ugly person“ 2. that a nice smile and funny, good personality can make an average person really attractive. 3. when you see obese people, or people that look like they don‘t care for their appearance, unwashed, unfitting clothes, obese, crazy hair etc., you can often find a pretty or average face behind all of this. And these people should definetly try to apply some of the reddit advice, because the advice intends to get the good base out of all the „uglyness“. No surgery needed in most cases! Go out and see what people really look like, the world doesn‘t consist of instagram models!
Not every person is beautiful, but i find beauty in every person. Then i mean beauty in appearance, because i think some people reading this will misunderstand this for inner-beauty.
Toxic positivity comepletely changed my life. As an obese teen looking for help, I would always be coddled and told "everyone has their own healthy weight" etc. It truly made me sick, and I decided to turn my life around through strict diet & exercise. Fortunately I became quite handsome after the weight loss, i'm grateful for them spurring me into action.
Beauty is transient. It dissipates with time. For some, more slowly than others. If you have not built a decent character or developed your social skills, then you will be a bitter old person trying to compensate for the fact that what has gotten you through the majority of your life has been the way you look. Beauty is everything, until it means nothing. Character is more important. Perusing through several videos like this, it has become quite evident that Westerners (Americans specifically) are regressing at an alarming rate. They have become obsessed with appearances and status. What comes next is a major reset and a massive ego check. I recommend you stay away from channels like this because not only are they creating the problem, being needless insecurities, but they are also providing the antidote given that this channel is affiliated with a beauty-consultation business. They are profitteering from the creation of insecurities.
@@5u5annah Just because this channel is scientifically accurate/factual does not mean that it is for the benefit of society. The people behind this channel are breeding unnecessary insecurities in people and, in turn, profiting through their affiliated beauty-consultation business. Furthermore, ask yourself, what does 'to be better' mean exactly? Better in what sense? Humans are humans. We are not perfect robots. We are imperfect; as is nature. You cannot create a mold that everybody must fit. Otherwise, everyone would be the same (which is the way things are starting to become). *Perfection is bland and uninteresting. It is cold, impersonal and inhuman.* Explaining to people how to be perfect is not helping them to be the best version of themselves because no one can be perfect. You 'help people to be better' by building their self-esteem, character, social skills and morals. If you are a Christian, you would know that the soul of a person is what matters the most. We are created in the image of God. To change the way we are created because we are 'scientifically ugly' is the equivalent of calling God ugly. We are created as we are meant to be.
@@gh4kr I agree with what you state. The premise of your statements do seem to have not much confounding variables. I would further state that pressing on to perfection is a thing and free will is too so I guess this channel suits some pepple or doesn't. I think people can still be blessed and moderation is a thing.
I think you're missing the fact that the sample of people who comment are skewed. If someone sees a person on r/amiugly who they believe is genuinely ugly, I would guess that the average person would be pretty unlikely to comment that because it is considered rude. Meanwhile, if the person see someone who they think is attractive but is on the sub and may even be saying that people have told them they're ugly, the person would be more likely to comment. Second, you said that you only looked at the top posts, also excluding ones with less than 50 comments. As far as I'm concerned, this just excluded many of the most conventionally unattractive people immediately. If they're a top post, they're likely to be that because they are pretty/handsome. And, if you frequent that subreddit you would know that any post with 50+ comments is primarily people who are attractive. So many posts get way less than that, maybe because of the first reason I brought up. Third, the people scrolling on that subreddit are not representative of the population at all. It's probably pretty obvious that that subreddit would draw in people who are insecure about their looks and may even have body dysmorphia. In that case, these people are likely to see almost everyone as looking better than them and no one there as ugly. There's at least a few posts everyday where someone just says that everyone on the subreddit is not ugly. Overall, I just don't think the variables were controlled enough (especially since the sample was not a representative one of the population), for any real meaning to be taken from your research.
im half black and im automatically ugly to 50%+ of people. But I don't care, im not gonna bleach my skin or use concealers/ get a nose job to make my wide nose smaller.
People love lying to you. Not because it has anything to do with you, but it has to do with them pretending to be a good person, even through they aren't.
I actually got A LOT OF mean comments on thpse subreddits was called *gly, flat, too skinny, huge forehead, awful makeup,lips, jawline too masculine etc. I mean those comments are so funny lol i personally don't understand why the hate but they were unnecessarily mean actually
I’m interested in using you’re glow up service. I am about 1.5 stone overweight though and it’s definitely affected my looks. Should I lose that weight before using you’re service and posting pictures of myself so that weight loss isn’t a factor and maybe you have a better idea of what you’re working with?
Gosh I hate the word "ugly" what exactly is ugly? Just because someone doesn't fit the conventional beauty standard doesn't make them unattractive at all because beauty is subjective I know some people will not agree with this...
My mom used to tell me every time that i would whine when she would do my hair and itd hurt that "beauty is pain and hard work" while i think she couldve been gentler with my hair her words held truth, why cant people just accept that some people want to better their appearance? What if someone just doesnt shower at all and their hair is matted and oily, had yellowed teth from not brushing it etc would people still say "youre perfect just the way you are"? This mindset people have is just wrong
wow great video, I really loved the new font and the integration of code and data analysis. Maybe this is somewhere you could take your channel in the future?
I think you have to keep in mind that most people that post pictures of themselves on these subs are at such a dark place in their life and are desperate for validation that it would be very dangerous to be 100% honest. I also highly doubt that most people feel better about their looks after getting positive feedback because to even post there you have to be extremely unhappy with your appearance. That’s not going to change because of some positive comments. These people aren’t ready for brutal honesty. I think what’s even worse than toxic positivity is thinking that you are doing someone a favor by always being brutally honest. Some people simply aren’t ready for that and they would feel even worse after that.
I was a very pretty child, then in high school I realized I had become average looking. People would see pictures of me in childhood and ask if it was really me. Got called ugly to my face once by bullies. It affected me a lot, but now I just accept my average looks lol
I feel like "beautiful" used to be more of a single quality in many that someone could have. Maybe because it used to be that you only saw the real people in your life, and weren’t bombarded constantly by images of the most beautiful 1% of people photoshopped and enhanced to be even more perfect. Now EVERYONE has to be beautiful and that’s just never going to be the case, like any other single trait out of thousands
It honestly annoys me soo much when most people use Toxic Postivity to undermine looks, pretty privilege and ect because they genuinely believe that they're helping others to not feel insecure but they barely acknowledge that attractiveness affects the way society treats people. When pretty people say "Looks don't matter/Everyone is beautiful," to unattractive people its basically the equivalent of when white people say "they don't see colour," to POC. There's a difference when attractive people get bullied on social Media vs unattractive people. Others are jealous of pretty people and unattractive people just receive unsolicited blunt comments. Pretty people, the ones aren't self aware, actively deny Pretty privilege based on their cyber bullying experience and don't look at the bigger picture. Some people who preach the statement "Everyone's beautiful" are hypocrites. E.g I knew a girl from my school, who was conventionally attractive, used to say when someone was insecure of themselves, "Don't say that! You're beautiful," but one time, when there was a conflict in class, she called an unattractive girl, 'ugly' and 'fat', behind that girl's back. Btw I have a few more personal examples. If people really don't want young people to feel insecure, maybe society shouldn't put a lot of value in looks and focus on other things in life but that is definitely easier said than done, especially with Social Media. More people are leaning towards Body Neutrality because they're tired of being lied to and Body Postivity discourages people from improving on physical health. Before anyone comes at me, I'm not an attractive person and my experience is similar to many people in the comment section. Also Toxic Postivity undermines other situations like any systematic oppression, financial stress, mental health and ect.
I think toxic positivity would be better viewed of " we're all different with different attributes and you need to accept yourself and your flaws." Ithink this is a better view. There will always be people more stunning in the looks department but we know this and need to accept that we will not meet those standards. We still are worthy.
Let me brutally honest here . Most people don't like attractive people , they would not comment attractive people wow you are gorgeous or beautiful cause they know that person already knew that . However I have seen people commenting under the lesser attractive people , wow you are beautiful , you don't have to change . It feels like they hate beautiful people and they pity less attractive .Most people are highly hypocrite when they express themselves
@@celestial6101 Depends if someone is really gorgeous and stunning I've seen comments on social media like "wish I looked like this" or if it's on Pinterest they would ask for the person's username to look them up and they say the person's beautiful Sometimes people do compliment beautiful people obviously, but people do lie to make someone feels better... You have to read into the lines to know if they're saying it to make you feel better or to just compliment you. You shouldn't care too much anyway, you have your own worth that is set apart from those things and you feel insecure about looks you can always do a couple of things to look better, i hope you're doing well ❤️
@@celestial6101 Also if it's in real life rather than online has more chance of it being true.. people just don't compliments other people out of the blue in real life if they don't think it is true
I liked the video, & think that it was cool that Qoves used machine learning to more objectively criticize these Reddit pages. That being said, I hope he doesn’t fall down a rabbit hole of trying to respond to all the people who criticize what he does. It’s just sort of a trend I’ve noticed w/ a lot of his recent videos, & I hope he stays on-track 👍🏻
Genuinely asking, so how do I know if I’m actually attractive or decent looking? I’m not conventionally attractive, but I do feel like I’m ugly but like everyone here says, no one tells me the truth so I don’t know what to believe.
I actually believe that beautiful is subjective I think "imperfections" like acne or arched big noses are beautiful It adds diversity to our lives I don't think the world would be pleasant to live in if everyone matched the plastic beauty standards and all looked the same Plus I'm a portrait artist and I truly enjoy looking at people's faces and all of the different "unattractive" features they have And I enjoy drawing them even more
A lot of these posters don't want to hear the truth. Anytime I suggest actual advice (teeth, plastic surgery etc.) I get downvote by the toxic positivity folks saying "she's perfect". I've noticed attractive people tend to get the harshest comments. lmao.. I never ask folks for advice on those sites. Most aren't groundbreaking and don't offer actual tips.
You’re not considering the psychological aspect of humans though. The majority of people are average so if someone average posts a photo asking for ‘brutal’ advice it can have an impact on their own self esteem, especially if the person is what they perceive to be better looking that them. Especially for women as we are more strongly targeted and criticized about our looks. Men it’s more status but also things that cannot be safely or truly changed like height. People who comment are not the poster, they didn’t want brutal advice. And tbh when I read those, I can’t imagine why people wouldn’t think of basic teeth, hair, skin, weight loss, makeup, and surface level shit first.
@@BitchChill Yes but beauty standards is pushed mostly on women, as a must. And it dictates her status and even job. That's why you see a lot of men that are like a 2 and fat, but have a model wife. Men rely on power and women looks.
Yeah but morally why make someone feel ugly for no reason ? Let’s just say someone is ugly so why drag them you gotta live in that body might as well feel good about it
there is 100% something wrong with being ugly, struggle dating , lack of pretty privelige etc. you don't need to tie self worth to that to see the issues
@@BitchChill I don’t know man if someone truly asks me about their looks I’ll sugar coat it with maybe not conventionally but you have beautiful eyes , lips etc bs no need to drag them this isn’t a test grade that they can improve on
Actually ugly people have no other choice but to accept that they are ugly. And you are correct. We should not make them feel bad about it. Looks are not tied to self worth, but society and human beings treat looks as if they were everything that made a person a person. That’s what has to change. And to be clear, I’m not against self improvement and proper hygiene and grooming, but let’s be honest here. A truly ugly person will not benefit much, even from the most expensive plastic surgeries, and at that point, is it even worth to spend your hard earned money and time on cosmetics procedures? Life is so fucking short. We have to work with what we have.
Just go to an asian aunty for brutally honest opinions on how to improve yourself
you doctor now? talk to me when doctor ok
*slams door*
Old Korean hags will immediately point to Plastic Surgery
not only asian aunty , literally any asian lol
Deadass I got the best fashion advice from a Korean man (who cared about fashion of course)
But he was honest and didnt sugarcoat things
Head to your nearest Asian barbershop
Accepting my baldness was a great accomplishment for me and to be honest, I didn't suffer much from the loss. Once paired with a beard, even if not very thick like mine, baldness makes a good impression, at least in my case. 😎
Mr White
Are you saying you started seeing a doctor to late? Or did you just not know about ways for hair loss reversal?
I was not interested in spending money on this matter. ;) @@NoRockinMansLand
You just accepted being a slaphead. It's sad to see but ultimately it doesnt matter as long as you're satisfied. Fight on soldier.
@@FullMetalPier fair enough, if it was your choice then there's no problem to fix
When i was chubby nobody fat shamed/called me fat. But when i was skinny many ppl skinny shamed/called me skinny. Although being skinny is not considered attractive for a guy but i think most ppl would rather be skinny than fat.
Being skinny is neutral imo, cause girls wont feel disgust to be with you and lick your body, but they wont think its hot either
I had a similar experience
Being skinny for a guy is definitely more attractive then being overweight. Sure muscular is ideal but a handsome man with a skinny body or muscular one is the ideal. An overweight man is never handsome as fat makes the face more neotonous. So his attractiveness is hidden in a way. I'm a gay dude so that is my perspectiveabout it. Women don't want a fat man either, they just are not vocal about it as many women struggle with their own weight and don't wanna be seen as hypoctited.
Next step for this project is to do some sentiment analysis on these comments. Maybe create a semantic embedding with sentiment as an additional dimension. Really interesting to see some data science here. Your combination of interests is awsome
You already did sentiment analysis, great to see hahaha
I went to amiugly...All these 6/10s showing up on there asking if they are ugly. No they are AVERAGE. They won't move people to act differently. So they feel ugly. Very rarely do you get a person on amiugly below 5/10. The problem is a new subreddit needs to be made.
I don't know /r helpimprovemylooks..strictly on the subject of improving looks. This way a different question is being asked.
amiugly asks...ARE YOU UGLY. Being AVERAGE is not BEING UGLY!!
This comment is the best comment in this section. Ur right. I use to be ugly. Now I am not. I can tell you, if you have the balls to take photos and post them, but sometimes you don’t like the photo. You are average. In a good way.
Can you analyze what makes "qussama gussama" attractive ? Next video 🙏🏼
the only thing more brutal than being ugly and being treated poorly because of it, is having people claim that “you just need to work on your personality” or “beauty is subjective!”
Or straight up lying and telling you that you're pretty lol it's condescending
I think that "you need to work on your personality" is actually fair kind of. But people need to acknowledge that they need to be more attractive personality-wise because of they suck genetically. I mean they really need to be exposed to this cruel reality shit. Kind of compensation maybe? I personally could easily pull up in long term relationship with someone who doesn't meet my standards (which are not that high already I guess?) if the personality would be beautiful and intriguing. But tbh I've only once met a person who was really interesting and entertaining and was like low tier in terms of beauty. I dunno how does it work, if I was ugly (I consider myself mid but I experienced much problems with being insecure about my attractiveness) I would think first about being the best at everything else to you know make people be genuinely interested in me.
@@Aaron-kj8dv then u ask them if u find them so beatifull would u date him
The girl on tiktok said sais well i wouldn't
But there is someome out there who would.
Like since when do people start saying there is somone out there for everyone??
exactly one of my friend said that to me and now i don't want to be her best friend anymore just normal friends i don't want to be close with people that only have one way to live bec she's average person don't have the same trait to understand how annoying people are n she probably love people bec she have lots of friends opposite of me n i can see she also don't like when people being rude to her for no reason then why should i go on tolerate people find me repulsive merely bec of how i look and it's alot of people almost everywhere i go I'm the crazy yep they will say that about me but i agree i might be crazy cause I'm still polite to these people when they make fun of my looks n call me crazy....i can't be her bestie because she will tell me that I'm beautiful for her n go on tiktok quote what i said to her before n then say her opinion "so stop with the natural thing, i really don't need that when i get so much negative feedback" but she need to know we live in a society i need friends it's easy for her to say that cause she never run out of friends also i have a wider nose than average, people that don't know me completely will make fun of me all the time n it's annoying because basically everywhere i go people have to be extra rude to me... the nicest i hear is people convince another not to judge me and also they talking about future kids bec they worry about it happens to their future kids😂 also she will deny that's a statement against me bec i told her the sentence are something i wrote to her, she will go and change what i said by saying "haha English word is everywhere n why you think only you know how to write" she kind of acting like I'm wrong for saying she use what i wrote by dodging why it's exact same word what i said to her i even have in on the group chat with one of our friend , but at last i knew I'm right about cause she say could be her other friends say that i show her it's same date she still say that n i told her yeah but i remember you told me you were supportive if that's my decision then why talk about it on social media n if you said that's a different friends it's the same thing if you think your friends need that then you think the same about me n i told her if she really seen me as friends dealing with different opinions she should take it or leave it I'm not harming other people she goes hahaha i said take it or leave it n argue with her about that bla bla😁 yeah i know that's how i know she's not a real friend i still remember in highschool when i was eating with her once she told me i would be really pretty if i have a smaller nose👀she probably don't remember that but i will bec i care about her even though back then i will disagree that I'm her bestfriend n i was right we are not a match honestly , i wouldn't judge whether she want to be with her now boyfriend or break up i remember both times when she breaks up with her boy i don't care i just want her to be happy n when she got back together i thought the same what i care about is her being happy n i want myself be happy too n if she really thinks I'm being lunatic yep I'm lunatic for tolerating so many annoying remarks n stay being polite or just totally ignore those people that ever call me crazy bec of how i look , to tell them I'm different from them bec I'm not being a jerk but those being one i will just let them talk bec i believe my actions speaks i don't like them either ew nasty people n that i don't care about anything else i just know that i want to look normal n feel normal like back when i was in primary school I'm happy bec i was cute back then i think I'm at my cuteness peak by 9 yearold if not 6 yearold nose haven't fully developed i remember shocked when there's once i got a nosebleed n get medicine n the doctor said bec I'm younger it's easily tear n don't worry about the nosebleed my nose is still growing i was like no i think it should stop growing👀😳n i was right except i really don't expect to be this repulsive for humans😂
Women love to gaslight. Simple as that. 😂😂
i wish people were more honest. not everyone is “beautiful” and that is okay…
Exactly the problem is most people place so much worth on beauty, but also beauty is subjective. Like personally I’ve found some pretty “unattractive” people beautiful.
@@Autumn_xx1 exactly, beauty is subjective and that's a fact
@@episode40 but this channel says otherwise, they try to convince their audience that beauty is inherently objective and cross cultural
You don't even have to say you're ugly, like come on. Just give a list of the things.
@@mozorellastick2583 It kinda is lmao. The only difference is when you're in love you overlook these faults.
I think most of us who aren't conventionally attractive know we aren't because of how invisible we've felt for most of our lives, especially when being around people who ARE conventionally attractive and seeing how they get treated. I've felt that way for the longest time and have struggled with ways to improve my appearance, only to be told by friends and family they think I'm beautiful and I'm being silly and shouldn't focus on appearance so much. It feels frustrating and dismissive. On the other hand, almost every time I interact with people I get a question or comment about my appearance. "Have you lost weight?", "have you gained weight?", "your hair's going gray", "your cheeks look sunken in". You're not supposed to focus on looks because that's superficial, yet they constantly remind you how much attention they pay to your looks. I'd rather people just stay quiet altogether and I'll get my advice from the professionals. I also think the people on Reddit would be a lot more honest if the question were posed to them through an anonymous poll, so it wouldn't be part of their charity work for the day and they'd feel safer being honest.
this is true. It seriously sucks, in fact I've faced this as well myself. Back then my beard was never shaved, my hair looked like a mess, the amount of fat in my face was crazy. Yet, people gave me compliments about my looks. Well I tried dating and NOTHING worked, I couldn't get a single girl to be interested in me.
After a while, I hit the gym, got rid of the fat in my face, built muscles and practiced skin care. Around this time I was recovering from a depressive episode so I was committed to change. What really delayed my improvement was the fact that the amount of compliments started going away as I was working on myself so this made me think that maybe I'll never look good.
Still a year or two later, my jawlines look much sharper, I have a much lower body fat percentage and now have defined muscles and abs. Almost no compliments, but a much better success in the dating world. It's crazy, how much people lie to your face about something that is so important.
Yeah good luck on getting people to tell you, you're no attractive. Maybe your family do consider you beautiful, this sounds more like a you problem. You seem very depended on what others view you as, to the point that it's toxic. I mean what exactly do you want from your families and these polls? to confirm what you already feel and know? you already said people treat you differently than the conventional pretty people anyways, now you need a poll and validation from your family. Maybe you should find that within yourself, instead of looking outward so much. Nothing is better than self love, and I know that sounds corny but it's true, and a lot of unattractive people that have it stand out, people can feel that you lack confidence and they'll start to believe how you feel too. I've meet girls that I didn't find attractive, but they had so much self love, and carried themselves like a 10, and I subconsciously put them in that category. Anyways not everyone will be attractive and that's okay, that use to be accepted, now everyone feels entitled to it, work with what you have and make the best of it.
@@noneya1238 I don't think you understood what I was saying. I've never done any polls, I just meant the people on Reddit that this video is about probably would have been more honest in such a format. I am also not constantly looking for validation; I already said I'm pretty sure how I rate in general and have been trying to make some improvements. The constant remarks and questions I get on my appearance are unsolicited and without any context and also clash with the message that appearance doesn't matter, which is why I said I'd prefer it if people didn't say anything either way and I'll deal with whatever issues I have with my appearance on my own with professionals.
@@santanacaipirinha9536 Okay.
Are you the person in the roach costume? You look attractive enough to me. You are not ugly. Just average. I think you are saddened you can't move mountains with your looks. Neither can billions of other humans. Maybe you live in a place where there are people who are more attractive than you. I accepted that I won't move mountains with my looks. I exercise because I had back pains, leg mains and neck pains. They all went away when I started exercising. I also want to live at least 85 years. Yes, I could probably have someone give me the features of what is considered attractive. However, just know when everybody starts to go in for those surgeries, it becomes the norm. Then they'll lose any advantage. Now maybe that won't happen over the 30 or 40 year career path. If you want to move up without having to solely care about your looks, become a scientist. Yes attractive scientists are worshiped like they are angels in the field. It just means more people are willing to run and teach them. The truth is the only way scientists will become more attractive is if attractive people who go into it succeed lol. They'll attract attractive people and help them realize that they can do more than just be known for looks. People don't understand that being too attractive is also a curse. There are times when you want to be invisible, and they'll just keep coming non-stop. In fact a company failed somewhere in an asian country when they allowed an attractive woman the funds she needed for an experiment that failed. They gave her the benefit of the doubt...and now she's looked down upon in the scientific field. Haruko Obokata was her name...
A crazy thing that happened to me is that some people used to treat me better when I was ugly. When I started working out, treating my pimples, changed my hair, got the braces and glasses off and became pretty (at least in general) - some friends I considered close stopped complimenting me and commenting / liking my posts and pictures on social media. They also seem a lot more sensitive about things I say , I can’t really say nice things about myself or make some jokes because I seem arrogant or futile.
Be yourself you ain't your body anyways
Some people feel safer around people they don't see as a "threat".
@@HadesHatredEdge true that's mostly in women
Yep, if ppl of the same sex are meaner to you and ppl of the opposite sex are nicer to you, you know you’re glowing up
TYRANNICAL yep a lot of women become hostile toward prettier women. They like being around “ugly” girls bc it makes them look hotter in comparison. They love competing with each other
I am in some beauty/makeup groups and I noticed that the girls that are kinda just objectively plain or unattractive get a ton of comments like “omg girl you’re so gorgeous” and then the actual beautiful women get little to no comments or praise, often times a lot of criticism or lowkey jabs. Women love to gas up other women, so long as they aren’t better looking .
Yeeesss,this I swear this happens so much on Facebook makeup and beauty related groups for women, my fav people to get advice from are gay men 😂
So am I unattractive since I received lots of unprovoked compliments from people in real life about my looks? Genuinely someone answer :(
@@celestial6101 That can depend on your country's culture. Living in two countries, the way they react to your looks can be very different. In one, if you were truly beautiful you'd receive compliments all day and people would want to befriend you all the time. In the other, they'd stare at you _a lot_ and be intimidated to actually approach you unless it's a setting where you'd have to often interact with each other OR if you approached them first.
Looking at Twitter, IG & reddit I see hot people getting more compliments all the time
@@celestial6101 pains me to say it but if it was from women, probably yes/a little bit, if from men, then no worries
I feel like when someone is obviously attractive people compliment them less and if you're an insecure attractive person you grow up thinking you're weird looking or there's something wrong with you. Just my own experience. I can see why this makes sense cause I've seen very average looking people being told how good looking they are and I'm confused sometimes lol
Maybe they're good looking to the person that is complimenting them.
@@shara5985 yes of course that happens too. Everyone has different ideas of attractiveness for sure.
@Takumi Usui erm no way. Beautiful women get hit on all the time. But not necessarily by the guys they like.
Totally agree!
Toxic positivity really sucks because in the end it’s doing way more damage to those who have the drive to be better. This is in any field be it beauty, art, work and so on. Like most of the people who ask for advice on self improvement can recognise they desire better and just need help understanding where to go and how to get there not nice little words to mask something.
Seriously it is damaging ! For years I was told I was thick not fat . Well here I am at healthy weight after losing 120 pounds in one year . I went back and looked at my pictures when I would be told this . I was huge , with a big belly and huge thighs . My boobs were smaller than my belly . My ass was wide and not thick . For years I was told I was thick and I believed it. It did me no favor I didn’t change the way I ate. What made me open my eyes ? COVID when I couldn’t breath at 269 pounds . Obesity made COVID that much worse for me . So yeah I wasn’t thick like everyone close to me made me believe , I was fat ! .
@@raquelpk2 120 pounds is an awesome weight loss! And yeah it sucks for those with drive to be better :(
@@jackcranmer4904 thanks never have I ever weight a nórmate weight in my life . Last time I was at this weight was 6th grade and I’m 33 now . Sadly those who wanted to see me at a healthy weight now accuse me of doing drugs to get where I’m at . You can never win . Damn if do damn if I don’t 🤷🏻♀️. I’m happy and hot now !!!!! Something I’ve never said before!
@@raquelpk2 ahahaha you know you’re doing something right when you feel good and make fake “friends” jealous!
Oh i have to tell u my experience , it was just observation about people’s psychology.
So on insta i have posted reaally ugly, funny , unprofessional art (i mean my art) and it had big reactions: wooow an amazing art, bravooo, it’s very different, interesting , I’m obsessed with it etc. okay after that I deleted it and posted better art, it was much better trust me and 0 reaction and i was like wtf
Thanks for the shoutout!! We need to do another collab my friend ! Also GREAT, HONEST and HELPFUL video.
The worst part about this is that none of these people would date the very people they are calling beautiful. They’d say “they aren’t my type” and date someone much more physically attractive lol.
Except for the guys that often comment on those subs.
@@Chuck.Mast3r but guys will accept anyone since they don’t get to choose, so that doesn’t count.
@@ZuZu66667 I dont understand doesnt both people have to choose each other? If a girl u dont like comes for u, how u going to accept it if u cant get it up, not only are u lying to yourself now youre wasting everyones time.
@@ZuZu66667 you choose the kind of women you want. She may not be 100% but you'd have to have some sort of attraction towards her. Stop with the lies.
@@novueiro i have to disagree, yes of course guys have preferences and all of that, but you must be handsome too. Evolutionary women will choose the best features since they care the child for 9 months, but men aren’t picky, they want to spread their genes as fast as possible. This is hard wired into our biology, you can’t reason with it. Women will choose the men, unless the guy is very handsome.
I strongly believe that we should start saying "it's ok to be ugly" instead of saying "everyone is beautiful" cuz everyone isn't physically beautiful but u shouldn't have to be treated horribly just cuz ur ugly. Being ugly and having flaws are totally ok. Flaws aren't beautiful they just imperfections and again that's ok😌
But what you're saying hasn't been true for humans since ever. It'd be nice if ugly didn't have such a terrible connotation but it's true. Regular people don't want to be friends with ugly people, they don't want to do business with them or hire them. Maybe we shouldn't focus so much on looks in general. Too many people obsessed with beautiful and ugly and to be honest I've been called both of those words many times in my life, not sure which one was true and which one wasn't, so I prefer to base my value and value of others on their actions rather than looks.
I think it wouldn't sting so much if "beautiful" wasn't associated so much with "good" and "ugly" with "bad" in the moral sense. Attractiveness is an amoral quality
@@stab2486 yh it's sad cuz I what I've noticed is that in certain countries( america) ugly ppl are treated like the plague while in my country, yh ok the person is hard to look at but dam they arent treated horribly. Their love lives might be rough but they aren't completely ignored and overlooked💀
@@divx1001 I wouldn't call this behavior a "human" thing... more like a cultural thing that can be learned based on the beauty standards in that culture🤔
but then you have to define what ugly is. and there is no definition for that. Beauty is subjective and if you really wanna tell somebody that their ugly then just tell it yourself.
Ugly wouldn’t be such a powerful word if we didn’t lie to everyone who is ugly by telling them they’re beautiful. “Ugly” could be “average”, and that’s not a bad thing. If most people are ugly and are told they are, being told you’re ugly too wont sting so bad because you’re not the only one.
People (mostly teenagers) are starting to use the word "mid" as a synonym of ugly
@@sarah.3599 yes, mid actually means average but its used as a synonym to it
@@sarah.3599 it’s not starting, but it do become a criticism somehow, even most of the people using the words “mid” are pretty “mid” themselves, they just want to feel above mid by calling people mid. I just find it very ironic and laughable.
People who are ugly know they are when someone beautiful enters the room. No one has to say a word.
Ugly isn't average though, especially not for women. It's below average.
I am UNPHOTOGENIC, but I look good in real life, my friends and family say I look good but whenever they see my photos they say why i am looking very weird there. because of this whenever someone take photos with me I try to avoid it. could you please make a video on it.
Y E S. Same here. Unless I'm taking the photo or a professional who tells me how to pose, I look so...like I don't wanna be there. I wear my heart on my sleeve, and it shows up in pictures.
I become too shy for photos and sometimes my expressions don’t come out well. Thanks for sharing your experience
Interesting I would like Qoves make a video about photogenic
Same, I look awful in pictures, my expression and features just seem off
Wouldn't say i'm the prettiest person irl (maybe 3.7-4), but damn do photos paint me 2 ugly sometimes. People also have said that i look much better irl.
I recently see this on Twitter that in between an argument on a completely unrelated argument people would bring up the person's look to shame him or her and get some likes. I find this very disturbing how our self worth is tied up to how attractive we are so much so that even having a valid opinion will only be taken seriously on the internet if you have a good profile pic . It's ridiculous and I think that's why some people on the internet try to overcompensate to counter the negativity by leaving such comments.
Ps I also noticed the victim of such shaming recently are mostly men it seems like being mean to men and shaming their looks have become a trendy for some reason
If someone brings up your looks in an unrelated argument.....consider yourself the winner of the argument.
It's always been like that, most people never matured past high school
If you see these types of fallacies in someone's argument. Its always better to stop the debate there.
it's not just only on twitter, but this happen all the time in real life - when somebody can't make logical point they will try to bring down the other person by shaming her or him for their looks. This is how idiots behave when they run out of arguments and often these twats are not any better looking. Usually women are shamed this way in real life in my experience.
As a person who has an anime profile picture, I'm all too used to this
(Sorry for my English)
Hey, I want to share my experience with a "glow up".
I'm a medical student and I always tried hard to get good grades. The thing is when I was fat and didn't care much for my appearance, everyone thought that I was so intelligent and hard working, etc.
But after vacation, I returned with -10 kg, I dyed my hair blonde, changed my glasses and practiced how to put on makeup.
Everyone treated me differently and I became more popular.
The thing is that I kept having good grades BUT now there are rumours that say that I have romances with professors or that I f*cked them to have good grades. Also there are people who think that I came to med school just to get a husband ¿?
oh man sorry for your experience. its so fucked up at so many levels. to treat people differently merely based on their appearances is just inexcusable :/
Imagine studying for years to get into med school, then studying for years while in med school to become a doctor, dedicating so much time and effort only for people to say that you are looking for ela husband. Kind of tragic honestly
That's a very interesting experience.
In some sense the rumours are a compliment because it means people think you're worth gossiping about, and they show that your personal transformation was a success, even if it somehow overshadows your hard work in other areas.
It also just goes to show how cheap it is for people to have an opinion, and how the value corresponds with that cheapness.
The things you control, and the work you put in to improve yourself as a medical professional and as a person are much more valuable. So please, persist.
damn
I think pretty privilege is more of liability... Like yeah it feels good but this comes with envy and sexual harrasment. Idk what's better being invisible or being attacked?
This is so true though. I notice that when a girl whose body is average/curvy/chubby/fat and has an average looking face posts something on TikTok, everyone in the comments is full of praise saying things like "omg slay," "ate and left no crumbs," "so stunning," "wow i'm in love."
Meanwhile, when a skinny girl with a pretty face posts, the comments are so mean: "you know what you're doing," "i'm never eating again," "when is it my turn to be happy." And so many of them are so full of jealousy, blatantly projecting their insecurities onto the girl when she just wanted to post a video of herself like everyone else does with no intentions of showing off or making anyone jealous.
I think this happens because people don't feel threatened by the former but they DO feel threatened by the latter, so they start getting defensive and try to put her down. People feel better about themselves when they compliment someone they deem to be inferior to them while putting down and insulting someone they feel is more attractive than they are.
yea i think you shouldnt hate either way
you are so right, this is really well worded
unfortunately this is very true
Well if they're fat/chubby i would also agree that they probably ate and left no crumbs
@@munchmunch5330 yep but if they’re skinny they also ate
In the opposite way I have also realize that some people tend to call really attractive people “ugly” or say comments like “I don’t understand why everyone likes them” or “I have never found them attractive”. Is like they feel proud of it.
Edit: Just to make it more clear, I’m aware that is completely normal to not feel attracted to someone that is considered attractive by “the majority”.
The kind of people I’m referring to is the ones that tend to put so much effort in putting dow someone that is considered attractive just for the sake of making them feel unattractive and that they don’t deserve the attention they get. Same way there’s people that just dismiss someone’s attractiveness to feel superior for not following what the majority says.
Also just because you don’t feel attracted to someone it doesn’t mean the person is not attractive.
It's because beauty is subjectiv and people are rude and stupid~.
I do say that kind of stuff but because I genuinely don't like some celebrities people find attractive, like for example the Kardashians. I think they look hideous before and after plastic surgery and it didn't work for them imo. Neither their bodies nor their faces are good looking because it looks too exaggerated and unnatural to be attractive to me.
@@رزيئة idk I guess beauty is subjective because I think at least Kendall and Kim are the attractive ones in the family
But it can be true!
Personally, I will never be able to find Bella Hadid beautiful. And it's is not BAD to say you don't understand the appeal if you're not trying to bring that person down and just express your opinion.
@@LadyPrincessDiana I second that and yes, I have my own list of "I don't get why they are thought of as good looking/attractive" people.
I found out I was ugly when I posted on reddit and people told me I was attractive after browsing more, I realized everyone told the ugly people they're attractive, and told the attractive people they're average. Or they were over the top with their comments.
same
Genuinely beautiful people get so over analyzed and criticized while objectively less beautiful people are praised it's just ridiculous xD
Lmaooo
@@SpawnDev probably coz yall treat them different and are rude irl
@@urdadsonic1036 niggi i am scared to be rude to anyone in public
Man, the Internet has changed. Imagine asking if you're ugly on an anonymous online forum 10-15 years ago. It would've been rough even for someone who's average
"Body positivity"
Its Gen Z and their performative wokeness. They’re so delusional and anyone who challenges their delusion is shunned. They come up with all these new terms like “fat shaming”…like nah being fat is not something to be praised, they’re literally at higher risk of serious diseases, why are we encouraging this?!
No, because without social media our beauty standards were lower. Average people were 10/10 back then.
@@girlthattalkstoomuch9425 Most people wouldn't really think the person asking is super ugly or smtn, but they would rip the shit out of them anyway. I miss the old Internet, before it became a hypersensitive shithole.
That was back when the average person didn't use the internet, and only particular types of people were on those forums. As with most things, it was ruined by too many people getting involved.
The nerd in me enjoys this, but the social person doesn't. The people who are truly ugly already know it, and won't ask about it on reddit. The only ones who will wonder are average looking people with low self esteem. And most of us actually find average looking people more attractive than real beauties since we can relate to them. So I don't think it's dishonesty as much as people genuinely finding each other approachable, and it's personality rather than looks that makes people lonely.
This is so true! The people who are considered ugly are already aware of it because of how they’re treated! But the people who have low self esteem and need reassurance are going to be the ones asking about their appearance
true
Very true. “Average people with low self esteem” sounds right. If you swing between thinking you’re ugly or beautiful and need outside input then you’re average or okay looking.
I think people do respond well to pretty yet approachable faces- perfection is daunting and still ultimately different. Pretty features mixed with flaws appeal.
@@blythetaylor4063 never meet someone who didn't have flaws even extremely attractive people have them, just not as much as average or ugly people , also some people change there appearance expcialy women with all the makeup , makeup can definitely change someone's appearance drastically!!
I wonder if it may be harder to detect how attractive/unattractive other people find you if you're autistic, which I am. Also how generally polite or rude is the circle of people you engage with, I think that can matter a lot. I actually dont know, but think I'm somewhere in the middle. How pretty or ugly I find myself can vary from day to day
Someone called me ugly. It was a kid. I needed that to finally realize I needed a glow up.
I love brutally honest comments because I want to grow.
UGLY
Now have a 2nd glow up.
Joking dummy.
Same
Being attractive is good and useful but let's not confuse glowups with growth and insults with constructive criticism
@Paolo Bonilla it does in this day and age unless ur rich lol
When someone is beautiful they rarely recive compliments,they get treated with preference and admiration,or jealous people envy them.Being aesthetically pleasing is the ultimate dream for everyone,because how the world treats beautiful people.
Yes..
you've never been near actually geuinely """beautiful""" people if you think they dont receive compliments
@@strangeclaims yeah.. actually beautiful people get told they're beautiful to their face extremely often.
@@strangeclaims no thats not true at all, it really depends where you live. Women especially hold back from giving compliments to attractive men to stop them from getting "inflated egos", that seems very common
This is not true
as someone who has been called ugly by basically everyone in the universe, why does ugly have to mean bad? why can’t i be ugly and still be happy? it’s so backhanded. there’s nothing wrong with being ugly, stop treating people like it is.
The answer is a small town or maybe another country, their beauty standard quite stark actually. For example, you can be an average on big city where your friend aren't jealous of you, buut.. come to asia and bamn! All girl(and men also) starts to complement you.. it's matter of perspective actually!
In all honesty, you have pretty eyes, GREAT eyebrows, a slightly wide nose, good forehead and cheeks but girl that haircut in TERRIBLE 😅 if YOU get called ugly often you must be living among supermodels, and I have no interest in just being nice.
I have noticed that in both real life and online that the people who get the most compliments are in what I call the safe category. Like a 7/10. People who are in fact rather attractive, but not stunningly attractive.
Very attractive people do get compliments, but not as many as the safe group. Very attractive people also get more jealous, negative comments. "She isn't that pretty" kind of comments. I'm talking about in day to day life, not places like the strip club where it is expected to fully objectify the performers. I'm not talking about very famous or powerful people either.
I believe that this has to do with the human ego. It's easier to compliment someone that you feel equal or superior to. When your insecurities are activated a lot of people want to avoid, or degrade the source of the insecurity.
People really need to learn to be ok with being average
Exactly because most people find averageness attractive
@@adettessubs444 you confuse being average with being beautiful but with good amount of averageness.
People don’t find average People attractive. They find good looking people attractive who also share some more average features. So that basically means most women prefer a good looking actor like Henry Cavill over the slightly odd looking Supermodel Sean O pry. Both are attractive but the latter has less averageness
@@wayne9048 that's literally what I mean.
@@wayne9048 Sean O Pry odd looking???
@Reinhardt88 face is too sharp, its uncanny looking
I prefer "not sugarcoated" to "brutal"
It's good that people recoil from being brutal, so it's easier to think of it as holding back the urge to cushion the criticism rather than brutally dressing down someone's appearance
Yeah, i think brutal should be attributed to a roast instead of just saying an honest opinion. Like the difference between, ugly and fckn ugly.
I dunno. I see the beauty in most people. Sure, some people may not be conventionally attractive, but unless you have been severely deformed, I am probably going to see nice features. I’m tired of the beauty conversation. Everyone does have beautiful traits and ugly ones too. I don’t care who you are.
Well that gives me hope 😭
@@katherynrice1657 Beauty is subjective, and desired features always change with time. Health and wellness should be the focus over beauty any day. Please don’t be hard on yourself. Perfection is overrated anyways.
@@darianwest5760 well it’s very hard based on the other comments and this video 😭 and just my overall experiences I can’t tell what is anymore 😭😭 lol
@@katherynrice1657
Well, the comments are mostly from subscribers to this channel, and this creator is obsessed with current beauty ideals. The comment section on this video do not reflect the real world, or what most people think. Beauty isn’t everything, but if someone can’t see the beauty in you, they are not worth your time.
@@katherynrice1657 something that helps me when I get too obsessed with my appearance is to think that I'm doing exactly what corporations and the patriarchy want. They want you not to love yourself and base your self worth on beauty instead of something more profound. Changing the base of your self worth is hard but worth trying
Actually it's interesting to see that people have how much low physical attractiveness standards in real life when physical attractiveness standards in the media industry are so unattainable. It looks like that people prefer being positive and complimenting when they see a person who has equal physical attracriveness level, nitpicking when they see a person who isn't looking in the same league at all. It's called human nature.
This is what happen when you're improving yourself they always tell you that you're good when you're at the bottom then when you're reach the peak they throw shits at you
@@hnl5100 Welcome to our hypocritical society.
Yess!!!!!
And If anyone differs from that it’s Atuomatically ‘surgery’
@@bunny.elixir Agreed. When they see a very attractive looking person, they always allege that he/she has plastic surgery.
Your videos have me questioning so many things. I've always considered myself a solid 4 or 5 without makeup. I've never really received compliments about my looks and for years I had some BDD. In recent years I've gained weight, dress down more often than not. Its the first time in years I've gotten a few compliments. Recently a few acquaintances admitted to me that years ago, they actually found me intimidating and thought I was probably stuck up because of "how pretty I was". This genuinely shocked me because I never felt pretty and part of it was because people I saw called pretty were, no offense, not that great looking. I figured I must be hideous if even average people got compliments.
Now looking back I was quite attractive and its sad I never saw it that way. Now I don't think so but I'm also more comfortable. Life is strange I guess haha.
Yeah surprisingly attractive people get less compliments lmao I used to think the same way you did
I had a very similar life experience in my youth, although for me: the men were intimidated by me and thought I was stuck up, whereas some of the women actually thought I was homely because I didn't wear makeup. The women genuinely just didn't perceive what the men were perceiving about my facial look. I was also perplexed when so-so looking women would get heavily complimented. That's all water under the bridge though; now I'm 50 years old and just trying to hang on to my looks for as long as I can.
@@victorycall that I can somewhat understand. The few interactions with guys who did try and talk with me would tell me I was intimidating also. I always chalked things up to having a strange appearance. I never really saw girls who looked like me growing up (I have large eyes and otherwise small soft features. I used to get picked on for them so I developed a sort of resting B-face as a defense mechanism 😂) but up until maybe 7 years ago I was always very small and soft looking. It was baffling to be told I was intimidating. But more often than not I almost never got compliments or approached by either gender.
I've had a few traumatic years and I've responded with "letting myself go" but I realize that's not probably the best response as I'm in my mid 30's. Definitely keep your beauty inside and out! I'm realizing I need to do the same and I'm trying to make changes.
So strange though to find out people found me attractive AFTER I stopped being attractive 😕 people are interesting.
@@menak8870 I just want to give you some encouragement on "getting yourself back" (the opposite of letting yourself go). I was overweight during my late 30s and 40s and a few years ago I quit drinking alcohol and stopped eating junk, and I started eating nutrient dense food. I started exercising and now I feel better than I did when I was in my 20s. Feeling great and having the confidence that I'm going into older age in the best shape possible is the payoff; looking good is a bonus.
I wish someone could of told me it was okay that I was ugly when I was growing up. I would of killed to hear that instead of “oh don’t say that about yourself” or a fake ass “no!! You’re pretty!!”
You're here too?
"Bro you look ugly as fuck"
Lord Jesus Christ is coming back everyone, please don’t worship celebrities and entertainment, focus on Him alone. I promise there’s more to life than money, partying, homosexuality and music. Hell is real, repent from sinning confess your sins and ask God to forgive you, I know He will if you’re sincere. Anyone who thinks the Name of Lord Jesus Christ is a joke, boldly mocks and scorns Him or takes pleasure in people who do is in for a big unpleasant surprise on judgement day IF they don’t repent and follow Lord Jesus Christ. Hell is very hot, people please repent! In the mighty name of Lord Jesus Christ, Amen 🙏💪✝️💜❤️✝️!
Idolatry such as, Islam, Catholicism, Sangomaism, Buddhism, Hinduism, Santa Clausism, Confucianism, New Age, Science, Evolution, halloweenism, Harry Potterism, Politics, Donald Trumpism, Easter Bunnyism and other religions/faiths that are outside Biblical Christianity lead to hell! Don’t believe them, believe the Almighty God the Father of Lord Jesus Christ, who begot Him. Our Creator, The God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob is mighty, He doesn’t need a woman to beget a son, He is God. I choose to put my faith in a God who can do anything and everything, a God who has unlimited and infinite power to beget!
So, it’s time to confess that Lord Jesus Christ is the Lord and to believe that He died and rose from the grave after three days and you shall be saved if you only obey Him by praying, worshipping, praising, reading the Bible and living holy and righteously according to the Bible. You have to endure until the end, carry your cross daily and build your relationship with God by following Lord Jesus daily until the end. You must never renounce your faith in The Lord Jesus Christ, there’s hell awaiting those who reject/deny Lord Jesus Christ and those who continue living sinfully, even the Christians who don’t want to repent will face the same fate, so please repent beloved people, in Lord Jesus Christ’s mighty and precious Name, Amen.
@@Kaz-sg1ih I would have hit the gym sooner if someone told me that earlier on in life.
I learned that its important to be the best version of yourself, which is different than being someone you're not.
Yes, it's dismissive and it makes the impression that being ugly is the worst thing ever, like "you can't be ugly by any means cause that would be the worst tragedy in history". I think being pretty is a great thing just like having a good singing voice or being a good dancer, writer or cook. All wonderful gifts, but you can't have them all. I mean, I love music but i sound like a frog when I sing and that's OK, is not the end of the world. Why do we make it so when is about beauty?
If you’re a woman, how to easily determine whether you’re conventionally attractive or not is to hangout with some female acquaintances. If they’re petty and rude and never give you compliments or it’s like pulling teeth to get them to say something nice to you, congratulations, you’re pretty. 🙄
Well thank you
my classmates told me i'm disgusting and they want to puke when they look at me does that count?🤣
ok i'm just kidding, because they compared me to the other ugly girls in our class, so i understood how i looked in their eyes
Just go to a convention or somewhere with a lot of socially inept strangers. I went to one after getting my final plastic surgeries and I was validated several times. Random girls came up to me to tell me I’m pretty, guys would do very long stares, and the person checking wristbands for 18+ rooms looked really suspicious of me and held me up. I’m almost 30. Ever since then I’ve had strangers recognize me everywhere like I became famous just for being the best looking person there. Random people at my apartment pool going “hey isn’t that the girl….?”
Regret because I’m borderline aspergers and don’t want to interact with anyone
Or make an only fans and see how many simps throw money at you 😂
That’s not true. You need better friends.
I’ve noticed all my life that men and women are quicker to call a beautiful woman ugly to her face than to an actual
Ugly woman..hence why men now complain that unattractive women have big egos and inflated self esteem... shocking 😒
Yup, like they want to "knock them down a peg" or something. Stupid.
Bruuuhhhhhhhh
That's what happens when they download tinder. Now every women thinks themselves as 10/10 just because they only attracted a bunch of down bad men.
Men never call ugly women beautiful you on drugs or something.
@@ramenomirice2767 simps do it
I've been in some of these subs and I've seen overly harsh people calling average looking people ugly and suggesting unnecessary plastic surgery so there's also a lot of projection of insecurity in these subs and it isn't professional at all....
That's the problem with having too many people, too many opinions; not all of them valid.
Average is the new ugly
I LOVE that you're calling Reddit out for their dishonesty with data. This is such an informative video. It's in the same vain of this cancerous "Body positivity" culture. People need to stop LYING about people's attractiveness especially when it comes to being overweight and unhealthy too. They're promoting unhealthy lifestyles and I see it a lot.
Exactly. You’re dead average, certainly not ugly, but not close to as hot as an above average girl on a college campus. I’m guessing the simps on the internet have convinced you yoi’re attractive since you post your face a lot?
It’s just embarrassing. Did you think you weren’t talking about yourself in your comment?
People need to stop lying about important issues period.
I‘m so sick of this society dominated by hypocrisy.
Reddit is filled with incels in denial. What a sausage fest lol.
@@gatoloco3949 it really is, reddit is filled with those and they pander more than I have ever seen before. I had to leave most of those subreddite
@@gatoloco3949 when I think of reddit I think of yt male incels aged between 18 and 35 who are secretly planning school shootings
I can’t imagine asking someone, especially a stranger, if I’m ugly. It feels like fishing for compliments. If I wanted constructive criticism I would ask a professional. My last comment on my last video was “u’re not even fat. I’m 5’7” and 195 lbs. I think I’m about 2lbs away from being clinically obese. I have an underbite, my eyes are crooked, I’ve broken my nose twice, I have rosacea. On my plus side, I dress well so it makes me somewhat more attractive.
My ex husband once said “you are pretty enough to have men attracted to you but not so attractive that you make women insecure”. I think that’s about right and puts me at a 3 or 4. Or at least it did when I was younger. I’m happy with how I look, I feel confident, I feel perfectly at ease with my looks. I’m all for self improvement, whatever that means to the individual. For me, it’s to continue learning, to keep my mind sharp as I age and to maintain body flexibility as much as someone with my conditions can.
Okay, but what are the professionals when it just comes down to looks?
@@riuwu2372 QOVES Studio ;)
What your ex-husband said to you is what Barack Obama said to Michelle! It's in his book The Audacity Of Hope.
@@riuwu2372 the only reason I would ask was if I was planning on doing something about it in which the professional would be a plastic surgeon.
@@riuwu2372 a stylist and a good plastic surgeon
To be honest though, I see hundreds of people everyday just through work, and I rarely find anyone ‘ugly’. Not my type sure, maybe not beautiful, but not ugly.
Yeah it's called average
Yeah the majority of people are average, nothing bad about that at all
Toxic positivity made it so I am suspicious of compliments, and I’m a conventionally attractive person (most of the time). In high school, this girl was complimented on her blue eyeshadow. Except it was not blended very well and it was creasing; I just didn’t think it looked very good. So now when I get compliments on my curly hair when it’s a mess and I’m not sure if it’s genuine or not. The other day a random woman in the park said, “I’m not gay, but you’re beautiful.” It felt genuine, but how do I know?????
Insults always come from a bad place, but you never know where a compliment is really coming from...
I always say if it's coming from a stranger, that owes you nothing or expects anything out of a compliment(maintained friendship, romance, etc) than it's pretty genuine.
Thing i've noticed is this phenomenon is mostly caused by women and especially by women towards fat women and fat models especially, it's like actually beautiful people or skinny models in this subcontext offend the audience and makes the audience insecure and nitpicky while seeing an ugly person the audience feels a sense of security and safety and pities them in a way.Girls especially looking at conventional skinny models feel insecure about themselves and their bodies while fat models make them feel better about their body and makes them feel more safe while mostly men are not really that prone to this phenomenon. While beauty standards for men are definitely unrealistic as well, men don't usually have this jealousy and insecurity response to it but the most common response is one of admiration and hype in a way to achieve the body that is being shown to them,that's why the fat acceptance movement is literally non existant in men and is a phenomenon observed only with female models and female audiences. But generally i'd say the fat acceptance movement is a really good example of the phenomenon of toxic positivity
Exactly
💯💯💯
Agreed
But women are more likely to think skinny doesn't automatically equate to pretty
There are definitely some beautiful fat ppl, but it gets obvious when ppl are faking positivity for certain ppl and it's kinda crazy
Genuinely beautiful women get so over analyzed and criticized while objectively less beautiful women are praised it's just ridiculous xD
I've rarely been directly told that I'm attractive. I would hear it all the time when I'm passing by people, but few have actually said it to me. I went through school and college with very few female friends, they would literally not befriend me and they would also instruct their boyfriends not to talk to me. I never thought that I was attractive at all but looking back I must have been pretty damn hot lol. What I noticed on social media is when I changed my profile picture (was a cat picture) to a picture of my actual face I got tons of new followers. So in conclusion, if you've never been told that you're ugly but also never received compliments, chances are that you look good!
Lol if some of your own family members(like cousins, aunts) have crushes on you, chances are that you are attractive.
I also experienced that and tbh most of my boyfriend's friends dont even make eye contact with me or talk to me if I don't talk.. i also don't have many female friends and theg always say yes we will go out someday and never go out with me. Men don't approach me at all my boyfriend was the first guy who approached me irl this is quite funny actually
last time when i was on r/amiugly i saw a 4/10 get called beautiful too often i never went on reddit again, these ppl are full of shit or straight up just have no standards or see the sub as a smash or pass game, in which case we know redditors would smash anything on 2 legs. im not exaggerating, many replies oozed horniness instead of honest critique of the persons looks
Was the person female?
@@BitchChill yes
Im interested to know, was the person rated a female and why was the person a 4? I’m just curious I’m not trying to judge.
r/Truerateme tells a 4/10 that they are a 4/10
"on 2 legs".. optimistic
Also, pretty people who are often low trust get shit on a lot online. Madison beer is a good example of someone who often gets rude comments by jealous (mostly) women.
Wjat does this low yrust high trust stuff mean?
@@lilypond5158 I think they mean face shape. Like sometimes you can see a person and think "this person looks trustworthy" or "this person looks shady". There was a vid about it on this channel too. Deep set small eyes with little of the whites showing is one of the traits that make me trust people less.
Nah that's just cuz she's lied about having plastic surgery.
@@angelas5099 oh I get it now, thanks
@@RED-my9hl yeah, but ppl hate on everything she says just cuz that one thing, thats jealousy and i think ur part of it.
Also one thing I observed that not-so attractive people are the mostly ones who do these types of comments.
And maybe there is an element of indirectly validating themselves, if someone other upvotes it.
😯oh my god, i literally think the same.
I think Reddit or any such forums hardly helps in these types of questions. These sites are more effective in discussing facts, experiences, etc.
Advises are so bad, vague and generic all over the internet that I sympathize with people who really looked forward for some good comments.
Facts
Trust me, I was attractive in ages 18-25, it doesn't save you from problems. NOBODY tells you you're attractive because people think you hear it day-in-day-out. In reality, besides my immediate family, I was told I was pretty only a handful of times. I would see ugly girls update their fb profile pucs and all their friends comment "oh, wow, you look amazing!" and nobody would comment anything on mine. Being pretty doesn't equate being popular and having uplifting friends is the result of popularity. On top of that, even if I were studying in a uni full of men (engineering) - and you'd think I'd be asked out left and right - guys wouldn't even talk to me because they were intimidated. They were all embarassed and thought I was unlikely to notice them so they would have their Egos protect them and not approach me with the argument "if she likes me, she will approach me on her own". That makes *some* sense, but only in case of popular girls, and I wasn't that. I was also very shy.
Moreover, I had professors think I was taking advantage of my attractiveness to have boys help me with uni or even to cheat with their help in exams.
Finally, the worst problems came from my immediate family, as I have a fat sister who was jealous of my looks and would put me down on the regular and my rest family just allowing it, making me even more shy due to the social anxiety the shame of having such a family caused me.
Yes, being good looking and shy/introverted/ have social anxiety is not really a good mix. people assume that you are stuck up OR like you said boys don’t approach you bc they think you are uninterested.
Well. Seems like you have shitty personality....maybe thats why no one ever approach...iyou are so self aware that you are pretty 🥰.and those Facebook girls are ugly
too you...maybe they are preetier than you in other aspects
😔 that's a very sad combo. No benefits, just cons
As a guy I can confirm that talking with very pretty girls is scary, unconsciously I feel like I'm grossing them out or wasting their time, I actively avoid them to not feel uncomfortable
That's basically all true. However, even though I wasn't considered gorgeous in school, my fat sister definitely had a better strategy than yours. She reminded me of her bountiful bra size frequently. Everything has its advantages and disadvantages.
I hate when people lie about your looks. They don’t do it to make you feel better. They do it, because their own integrity is weak. It’s cowardly. You can be honest without being hateful. People need to learn to handle the truth, both telling it and receiving it.
If I could offer some perspective… There’s a whole movement of people shaming attractive people for not overly complimenting average or unattractive people enough! Attractive people are literally told to “pay it forward” and that they owe something to people who are less attractive than they are.
*Beauty wouldn’t be so controversial if it wasn’t seen as currency & a metric for a woman’s value. The main issue is that ppl get mad at you for being attractive but, they’re more mad about society’s rules.*
Ngl...Some honestly go to these subreddits to fish for compliments. I've seen people post pics with all the desirable features just because they want someone to tell them what they already know: you are beautiful
ikr? I see it in the female hair advice reddit where a woman will post a pic to ask for "hair advice" where you can barely see her hair/it's been affected by a filter or something. Most women not just fishing for "omg ur stunning!1!!" will post clear pics of their natural hair, as well as their unfiltered face to get the best advice. I just find it sad cause I feel like it discourages less attractive women from posting cause they don't want to be compared
I consider myself to be conventionally attractive but I have consistently put in work and effort to get here. I hear so much toxic positivity whenever I’m discussing improving my looks even now. For instance, I said to a friend the other day my next goal is to lose about 2kg and tone up my stomach. She just rolled her eyes and said I didn’t need that and that I’m beautiful. I don’t understand this kind of response, why is it such a bad thing to want to improve your looks?
Because you just admitted to being conventionally attractive.
@@canesugar911 but either way self improvement isn’t something that should get trashed on whether or not the person is already conventionally attractive.
@@lynooxx her friends are not trashing her for simply stating that she is conventionally attractive. Which she is. As she stated herself. The funny thing is if the friend had mentioned to her to lose 2kg(5pounds, which most people can't even tell) then she'd make a fuss about her friend shaming her.
@@canesugar911 how do you know what I would make a fuss about? My only point was that it seems as if wanting to improve your looks is not met with support regardless of whether or not you’re attractive.
@@user-xb5rl6wt5j from your accusatory tone. That's where. You cannot put yourself in the same category as people who aren't attractive because the whole toxic positivity thing is mainly targeted towards unattractive people. Sooo your point is............
I saw this so much growing up amongst girls and it damaged the unattractive girls confidence long term cause they weren’t getting the recognition they were told they would receive
I believe conventionally unattractive people are praised because not many people see themselves as attractive and by praising the unattractive, then they don't have to do any work and so if they don't improve, it decreases competition. Imagine if every obese woman lost weight, the amount of beautiful women in the world would double and average women who were not overweight would have more competition.
So praising ugly people is a way of weeding out the competition.
69% of Americans are fat
I don't think it's mean sprited; I think they just feel pity. They know they perceive the person as unattractive and they feel bad that they thought that. So, they virtue signal and give a compliment to make themselves feel better, to get rid of that uncomfortable feeling. Little do they know that it's incredibly unkind, infantlising and condensing. Above all, it's selfish.
I have always theorized this for years but like the comment-er above me I also agree it’s 90% NOT mean spirited. I believe this is all done subconsciously so yes while on the surface they may tell themselves they’re being fake nice because of pity but like I said before it also eliminates competition.
Most women are already beautiful. If there are women that have this toxic thinking you described it must be a minority
@@av3ngers17 "Most women are already beautiful."
this vid was just to flex and showoff the new code LMAOOOO
it rly was
People can't give out solutions to problems they do not understand.
Yes it's difficult to know what to improve when everyone tells you there's nothing wrong.
Like when I was fat. "Oh your not that fat", "you're only a little overweight".
Lies I was morbidity obese.
Fake nice could of put me in an early grave.
I'll add it took a foreign co-worker to be honest.
They told me you would be beautiful if you lost weight. You too fat.
Were they Asian?
@@bendover7841 yes an older lady, Chinese.
@@nolungesplease2945 Asians don't give a f*ck.
But then there are people who'd cry at being told anything but sweet lies. Especially fat ppl nowadays.
@@potatowarrior747 oh I am well aware. When I was just talking about how I lost weight and how my health improved. Someone got angry at me.
Yeah I should of just stayed fat with hypertension. I knew were my life was headed. Fat activist are going to kill people.
I swear this is one of the best and most interesting channels on UA-cam. Keep up the good work!
I did notice the most guys who post their pictures on those reddits get a lot less feedback and comments compared to most woman. Also that the more attractive a person is on there the more comments they get.
Because people are simps
@Lalleland who says men arent supposed to be beautiful or good looking?
@Lalleland I honestly would not consider this a thing in the united states but maybe I'd ask my brothers
@@khxliakhxlia3605 I think it's more that it's normal, it's more jarring to see an ugly woman then an ugly man. like people don't mind it that much.
Because there are greater beauty standards for women than men so people empathise with them more because they are likely more insecure
Bro you're videos are funny as hell, they're full of information and you got a good narrator voice. I also like how you tell people the harsh truth.
I'm considered attractive as a woman with caucasian-esque features in South Asia. Green eyes and all.
In primarily white countries, I would look painfully average of course. But there's a hostility of other women here towards me that has made me stop attending parties.
The "compliments" I receive upon first entering parties and family functions are "you can easily pass for a white woman" which, unfortunately is considered the epitome of beauty. The girls my age don't like this attention so they counterattack with "they're obviously blind. You look like a light-skinned brown girl trying too hard to appear as a white girl" and "you look like you're a wannabe aishwarya rai. Trying too hard" and "you look like you're a wannabe Russian girl". I don't like these backhanded "compliments" and it's turned me into a hardcore introvert.
I know I can't complain because girls with darker complexions have HELL to face here and my situation is a non issue in front of what they have to endure... But I still...idk
Edit: messed up a few words lol
What ethnicity are you from. You're like top 1% in your country.
@@rohansol I'm Pashtun
@@zunaslogic4128 Do you live India. Then you're like 0.1%. If Pakistan then maybe be 1.25%. I bet you look sooo pretty. You should do something great with your looks. 🥰
Please marry a handsome man. It will bless your kids forever.
@@rohansolwow, classic indian 😂 missed her point completely
I grew up very overweight as a kid and my peers made me know that. It was really mentally draining to be bullied for my looks and then have my friends and family tell me I was fine and that people are just jealous instead of helping me when I wanted to lose weight.
I’d rather ppl be brutally honest then lie to me
It's really irresponsable to lie or overhype someone about heir appearance because it might get them wrong ideas about what to expect from life. My Family constantly reminded me how "pretty" i was growing UP (i was just average cute) which led me to dellusion as a teen and then Huge downfall as an adult. That's a Real shame because without this i could have focused more on working hard and building a nice personnality.
I’m sorry that you went through that. Sometimes I think that exaggerating a child’s greatness is just as harmful to the child as constantly and unjustly putting down the kid. The child ends up acting entitled and conceited, and they’re left bitterly disappointed when the real world tells them the truth. I’ve seen people take a mighty big fall when the real world reminds them that they’re not “special” and they’re like 99% of the people in this world - “regular”.
Totally disagree with the result of the video. Just because the first sentence is „you‘re not ugly“ doesn‘t mean the next one is telling how beautiful and model-like you are. There will come advice that make the best out of the given material. Not having model-qualities, doesn‘t make you ugly. In reality, it‘s very rare that someone is considered ugly from top to base. Its more like some features that drag down the overall look. A model would look worse with thinning hair too. When you‘re average with thinning hair, that might make you less attractive, but not automatically ugly. And you can rock a receeding hairline, you have to consider what works best for you. Some people really profited from a new haircut, others can torally „wear“ a bald head, others were happy with medical treatment. Not choosing medical treatment doesn’t mean that you follow the bad advice. And added to that, character plays a huge role! Has always done. You can‘t compare real life with social media. Average guys get pretty girls too, but when you‘re online, it works differently. The online world, you present yourself mainly by looks, and it is not really possible to replicate the rest authentically. When you struggle with that, go offline more.
You are not ugly when you are just not a model! You can improve you looks by caring for your health, skin, hair and own well-being. You don‘t need surgery! Especially not when you are just „average“, because you will find another flaw to improve by surgery anyways. There definetly are cases when surgery improves quality of life, but before taking such a drastic step, listen to the advice given in such forums. Beauty is and always has been subjevtive and comes together with good character. Social media makes it easy for us to only look at our bodies, but when you go outside and meet real people, you will 1.see that most people are „average“ and you will struggle to find a truly „ugly person“ 2. that a nice smile and funny, good personality can make an average person really attractive. 3. when you see obese people, or people that look like they don‘t care for their appearance, unwashed, unfitting clothes, obese, crazy hair etc., you can often find a pretty or average face behind all of this. And these people should definetly try to apply some of the reddit advice, because the advice intends to get the good base out of all the „uglyness“. No surgery needed in most cases! Go out and see what people really look like, the world doesn‘t consist of instagram models!
Not every person is beautiful, but i find beauty in every person. Then i mean beauty in appearance, because i think some people reading this will misunderstand this for inner-beauty.
Toxic positivity comepletely changed my life. As an obese teen looking for help, I would always be coddled and told "everyone has their own healthy weight" etc.
It truly made me sick, and I decided to turn my life around through strict diet & exercise. Fortunately I became quite handsome after the weight loss, i'm grateful for them spurring me into action.
Beauty is transient. It dissipates with time. For some, more slowly than others. If you have not built a decent character or developed your social skills, then you will be a bitter old person trying to compensate for the fact that what has gotten you through the majority of your life has been the way you look. Beauty is everything, until it means nothing. Character is more important.
Perusing through several videos like this, it has become quite evident that Westerners (Americans specifically) are regressing at an alarming rate. They have become obsessed with appearances and status. What comes next is a major reset and a massive ego check. I recommend you stay away from channels like this because not only are they creating the problem, being needless insecurities, but they are also providing the antidote given that this channel is affiliated with a beauty-consultation business. They are profitteering from the creation of insecurities.
I think this channel does help people to be better because they know the so called science behind things.
@@5u5annah Just because this channel is scientifically accurate/factual does not mean that it is for the benefit of society. The people behind this channel are breeding unnecessary insecurities in people and, in turn, profiting through their affiliated beauty-consultation business.
Furthermore, ask yourself, what does 'to be better' mean exactly? Better in what sense? Humans are humans. We are not perfect robots. We are imperfect; as is nature. You cannot create a mold that everybody must fit. Otherwise, everyone would be the same (which is the way things are starting to become).
*Perfection is bland and uninteresting. It is cold, impersonal and inhuman.* Explaining to people how to be perfect is not helping them to be the best version of themselves because no one can be perfect. You 'help people to be better' by building their self-esteem, character, social skills and morals.
If you are a Christian, you would know that the soul of a person is what matters the most. We are created in the image of God. To change the way we are created because we are 'scientifically ugly' is the equivalent of calling God ugly. We are created as we are meant to be.
@@gh4kr I agree with what you state. The premise of your statements do seem to have not much confounding variables. I would further state that pressing on to perfection is a thing and free will is too so I guess this channel suits some pepple or doesn't. I think people can still be blessed and moderation is a thing.
I think you're missing the fact that the sample of people who comment are skewed. If someone sees a person on r/amiugly who they believe is genuinely ugly, I would guess that the average person would be pretty unlikely to comment that because it is considered rude. Meanwhile, if the person see someone who they think is attractive but is on the sub and may even be saying that people have told them they're ugly, the person would be more likely to comment. Second, you said that you only looked at the top posts, also excluding ones with less than 50 comments. As far as I'm concerned, this just excluded many of the most conventionally unattractive people immediately. If they're a top post, they're likely to be that because they are pretty/handsome. And, if you frequent that subreddit you would know that any post with 50+ comments is primarily people who are attractive. So many posts get way less than that, maybe because of the first reason I brought up. Third, the people scrolling on that subreddit are not representative of the population at all. It's probably pretty obvious that that subreddit would draw in people who are insecure about their looks and may even have body dysmorphia. In that case, these people are likely to see almost everyone as looking better than them and no one there as ugly. There's at least a few posts everyday where someone just says that everyone on the subreddit is not ugly. Overall, I just don't think the variables were controlled enough (especially since the sample was not a representative one of the population), for any real meaning to be taken from your research.
im half black and im automatically ugly to 50%+ of people. But I don't care, im not gonna bleach my skin or use concealers/ get a nose job to make my wide nose smaller.
People love lying to you. Not because it has anything to do with you, but it has to do with them pretending to be a good person, even through they aren't.
I actually got A LOT OF mean comments on thpse subreddits was called *gly, flat, too skinny, huge forehead, awful makeup,lips, jawline too masculine etc. I mean those comments are so funny lol i personally don't understand why the hate but they were unnecessarily mean actually
I’m interested in using you’re glow up service. I am about 1.5 stone overweight though and it’s definitely affected my looks. Should I lose that weight before using you’re service and posting pictures of myself so that weight loss isn’t a factor and maybe you have a better idea of what you’re working with?
Lose it first.
your*
Hundred percent, you don’t know how attractive you are till you lose weight. People can turn to a whole different person when they lose weight
Im not attractive conventionally kinda avg but people say a lot of negative stuff about me like they are so busy to pick up flaws .
This is next level content! Awesome job 👏
Gosh I hate the word "ugly" what exactly is ugly? Just because someone doesn't fit the conventional beauty standard doesn't make them unattractive at all because beauty is subjective I know some people will not agree with this...
Opposite of beauty is ugly...
Also if people say 10/10 makes me cringe. It’s all subjectice
My mom used to tell me every time that i would whine when she would do my hair and itd hurt that "beauty is pain and hard work" while i think she couldve been gentler with my hair her words held truth, why cant people just accept that some people want to better their appearance? What if someone just doesnt shower at all and their hair is matted and oily, had yellowed teth from not brushing it etc would people still say "youre perfect just the way you are"? This mindset people have is just wrong
Oh my god, my female relatives say the same when they braid my hair, "beauty takes time and pain"
Yeah she was jealous and wanted to hurt you.
@@muhsinashardow998 Yeah they are jealous and wanted to hurt you.
@@owlmaster1528 ? No they just wanted to make my hair really nice. And you can tell, when you squirm, your hair doesn't come out as good.
wow great video, I really loved the new font and the integration of code and data analysis. Maybe this is somewhere you could take your channel in the future?
I think you have to keep in mind that most people that post pictures of themselves on these subs are at such a dark place in their life and are desperate for validation that it would be very dangerous to be 100% honest. I also highly doubt that most people feel better about their looks after getting positive feedback because to even post there you have to be extremely unhappy with your appearance. That’s not going to change because of some positive comments. These people aren’t ready for brutal honesty. I think what’s even worse than toxic positivity is thinking that you are doing someone a favor by always being brutally honest. Some people simply aren’t ready for that and they would feel even worse after that.
the fake positivity is honestly so backhanded too. especially in tiktok comments…
I was a very pretty child, then in high school I realized I had become average looking. People would see pictures of me in childhood and ask if it was really me. Got called ugly to my face once by bullies. It affected me a lot, but now I just accept my average looks lol
I took a look at that reddit section. It's sad to see that the average folk feel so ugly and insecure today...
I feel like "beautiful" used to be more of a single quality in many that someone could have. Maybe because it used to be that you only saw the real people in your life, and weren’t bombarded constantly by images of the most beautiful 1% of people photoshopped and enhanced to be even more perfect. Now EVERYONE has to be beautiful and that’s just never going to be the case, like any other single trait out of thousands
Isn't it amazing though how ugly people are called beautiful more often than average-looking people are
So you checked for "not ugly", did you also see how many "not pretty", "not gorgeous", and especially "not *that* pretty" occurrences there were?
It honestly annoys me soo much when most people use Toxic Postivity to undermine looks, pretty privilege and ect because they genuinely believe that they're helping others to not feel insecure but they barely acknowledge that attractiveness affects the way society treats people. When pretty people say "Looks don't matter/Everyone is beautiful," to unattractive people its basically the equivalent of when white people say "they don't see colour," to POC.
There's a difference when attractive people get bullied on social Media vs unattractive people. Others are jealous of pretty people and unattractive people just receive unsolicited blunt comments. Pretty people, the ones aren't self aware, actively deny Pretty privilege based on their cyber bullying experience and don't look at the bigger picture. Some people who preach the statement "Everyone's beautiful" are hypocrites. E.g I knew a girl from my school, who was conventionally attractive, used to say when someone was insecure of themselves, "Don't say that! You're beautiful," but one time, when there was a conflict in class, she called an unattractive girl, 'ugly' and 'fat', behind that girl's back. Btw I have a few more personal examples.
If people really don't want young people to feel insecure, maybe society shouldn't put a lot of value in looks and focus on other things in life but that is definitely easier said than done, especially with Social Media. More people are leaning towards Body Neutrality because they're tired of being lied to and Body Postivity discourages people from improving on physical health. Before anyone comes at me, I'm not an attractive person and my experience is similar to many people in the comment section.
Also Toxic Postivity undermines other situations like any systematic oppression, financial stress, mental health and ect.
What the actual hell is this video...
I think toxic positivity would be better viewed of " we're all different with different attributes and you need to accept yourself and your flaws." Ithink this is a better view. There will always be people more stunning in the looks department but we know this and need to accept that we will not meet those standards. We still are worthy.
Let me brutally honest here . Most people don't like attractive people , they would not comment attractive people wow you are gorgeous or beautiful cause they know that person already knew that . However I have seen people commenting under the lesser attractive people , wow you are beautiful , you don't have to change . It feels like they hate beautiful people and they pity less attractive .Most people are highly hypocrite when they express themselves
THIS
So am I not as attractive as I thinks, since I received lots of unprovoked compliments from people on my looks? Genuinely someone answer :(
@@celestial6101
Depends if someone is really gorgeous and stunning I've seen comments on social media like "wish I looked like this" or if it's on Pinterest they would ask for the person's username to look them up and they say the person's beautiful
Sometimes people do compliment beautiful people obviously, but people do lie to make someone feels better... You have to read into the lines to know if they're saying it to make you feel better or to just compliment you.
You shouldn't care too much anyway, you have your own worth that is set apart from those things and you feel insecure about looks you can always do a couple of things to look better, i hope you're doing well ❤️
@@celestial6101
Also if it's in real life rather than online has more chance of it being true.. people just don't compliments other people out of the blue in real life if they don't think it is true
Indeed
I liked the video, & think that it was cool that Qoves used machine learning to more objectively criticize these Reddit pages. That being said, I hope he doesn’t fall down a rabbit hole of trying to respond to all the people who criticize what he does. It’s just sort of a trend I’ve noticed w/ a lot of his recent videos, & I hope he stays on-track 👍🏻
Genuinely asking, so how do I know if I’m actually attractive or decent looking? I’m not conventionally attractive, but I do feel like I’m ugly but like everyone here says, no one tells me the truth so I don’t know what to believe.
I actually believe that beautiful is subjective
I think "imperfections" like acne or arched big noses are beautiful
It adds diversity to our lives
I don't think the world would be pleasant to live in if everyone matched the plastic beauty standards and all looked the same
Plus I'm a portrait artist and I truly enjoy looking at people's faces and all of the different "unattractive" features they have
And I enjoy drawing them even more
AI will replace you
You’re an abnormal human then. Acne is unattractive to most of us
A lot of these posters don't want to hear the truth. Anytime I suggest actual advice (teeth, plastic surgery etc.) I get downvote by the toxic positivity folks saying "she's perfect". I've noticed attractive people tend to get the harshest comments. lmao.. I never ask folks for advice on those sites. Most aren't groundbreaking and don't offer actual tips.
Not the “you’re stunning 😍” comments on insta posts 💀
My carribean mom is gon have a field day on that sub reddit 😂
You’re not considering the psychological aspect of humans though. The majority of people are average so if someone average posts a photo asking for ‘brutal’ advice it can have an impact on their own self esteem, especially if the person is what they perceive to be better looking that them. Especially for women as we are more strongly targeted and criticized about our looks. Men it’s more status but also things that cannot be safely or truly changed like height. People who comment are not the poster, they didn’t want brutal advice. And tbh when I read those, I can’t imagine why people wouldn’t think of basic teeth, hair, skin, weight loss, makeup, and surface level shit first.
Actually, no. Men get judged by their looks as well, just not in a direct way
@@BitchChill oh come off it. It’s not nearly as bad as women.
@@BitchChill Yes but beauty standards is pushed mostly on women, as a must. And it dictates her status and even job. That's why you see a lot of men that are like a 2 and fat, but have a model wife. Men rely on power and women looks.
Yeah but morally why make someone feel ugly for no reason ? Let’s just say someone is ugly so why drag them you gotta live in that body might as well feel good about it
Because logically, there's nothing wrong with ugliness unless you're directly tying it with self-worth.
there is 100% something wrong with being ugly, struggle dating , lack of pretty privelige etc. you don't need to tie self worth to that to see the issues
If you wanna know your attraction, I'm gonna be honest. I won't tell you what makes you feel good, unless what makes you feel good is true
@@BitchChill I don’t know man if someone truly asks me about their looks I’ll sugar coat it with maybe not conventionally but you have beautiful eyes , lips etc bs no need to drag them this isn’t a test grade that they can improve on
Actually ugly people have no other choice but to accept that they are ugly. And you are correct. We should not make them feel bad about it. Looks are not tied to self worth, but society and human beings treat looks as if they were everything that made a person a person. That’s what has to change. And to be clear, I’m not against self improvement and proper hygiene and grooming, but let’s be honest here. A truly ugly person will not benefit much, even from the most expensive plastic surgeries, and at that point, is it even worth to spend your hard earned money and time on cosmetics procedures? Life is so fucking short. We have to work with what we have.
“To make themselves feel like they're doing their charity work for the day” lol 😂