I am a healed borderline woman. It has been the most difficult process I have ever experienced. I was getting emotional listening to you, but grateful that it wasn’t triggering. Sex has been my whole life. I’m 46 and finally understanding the value of my body. It has been years of therapy, spending a lot of time alone, research and reading. Thank God
I am honored to read your words of truth. I am about to attempt to extend my ex-fiance's life, who I grew up with, if she accepts my assistance. I am medically trained in multiple medical sciences. She remained without treatment due to her enabling family who all suffer from BPD. At 52 I hope she begins to value her body as well. Currently she has less than approx 3 years left to live. May you find all the love you deserve by continuing to love yourself first and foremost. Always and forever. ❤
I’m 30 and well on my journey, I feel there isn’t all that much hope for a “healing” I’m looking forward to my 50s+ and getting a bit of that burn out !!!
I found a used copy for such an amazing price I decided to buy several for a girlfriend, and both of our teen daughters. The timing could not have been more serendipitous as my daughter was just speaking with me about her interest in the film, “Girl, Interrupted”, and wondered if I thought that any of the characters may be sociopaths, psychopaths, or women with borderline personality disorder. I had my daughter young, and with that comes many challenges, unfortunately it’s the child who truly suffers the most. I have done my best to disclose my own mental health conditions with her as the moments presented themselves and when appropriate. I wanted her to know she could always speak to me about anything, that I myself was far from perfect, (stating the obvious there). In her late pre teen years, around 9 or ten I began to notice changes in her. Her father and I split when she was 7 and he found a new family shortly after, with a daughter. His new daughter was perfectly matched in age to the one he chose to discard entirely. I too was abandoned by my father. I know that look of deflated hope, stolen youth, and emptiness. I saw it first in myself, and then in my beautiful daughter. Since then it has been difficult, you name it, my daughter did it. Was caught selling the “inappropriate green” plant, caught corresponding with a boy incarcerated in a juvenile center, and many more things I don’t wish to discuss for fear of the YT algorithm catching my comments and flagging for removal. Fast forward to several months ago, I was told she was going to leave when she was 18, “maybe I’ll come back when I’m 28-30. I’ll dance for money. Who cares.” My heart broke… again. Time passed slowly. Finally, this morning she said she wanted to study psychology and eventually be able to teach others, like I had taught her. She wants to go to school, she wants something better for herself. She believes she deserves better, and for me, that means EVERYTHING. Thank you Sam for offering your knowledge to people like me to share, (to the best of my ability). I- WE may have helped the most important person in my life. Thank you.
This describes my life. I've got to read this book. I truly believe I have this disorder but I'm still undiagnosed. The way you analyze it all makes total sense and is so accurate.
An accurate description of my life which was both painful and helpful to watch. I was 13 and had my first sexual experience with a 25 year old. I didn't resist, just did what he told me - like an automaton. Minor self harming started shortly after this while I was still being used by him. Sex is like a lens through which I view life and it's always present, even in non-sexual situations. I was diagnosed 20 years after the first encounter. Thank you Rebecca and Prof Vankin
I'm going to therapy and going to see a psychologist for the first time soon. Im nervous what he will tell me, but I also want to know what's going on so I can stop hurting myself and others, this is too accurate.
I’m 30F and 20+ yr of 1 on 1 counseling on and off and 3 rounds of dbt, this has brought a fair amount of self awareness. I can no longer be the tornado I once was. I use to be very social. I now isolate because I don’t want to get hurt and or don’t want to hurt others. Gone from a explosive borderline to a very implosive borderline.
This video is very good. Now I finally really understand the psychology behind it. I got many pieces before watching it, but now it all makes even more sense. Thank you.
anyone else has this feeling that borderlines - hypersexed - might have bveen childhood sexual abuse victims which they dont have memories of ( because they were too young or completly dissociated?) and this sort of sexual behaviour is repetition compulsion? and they actually at the time of trauma couldnt do anything about it and it was done by an authority figure with a lot of influence ?? and somehow their disorded is both there to hide the trauma but try to uncover the trauma?
Spot on. I know I have some qualities of a borderline which I’ve worked on through self awareness. I was molested by my grandfather which my mother brushed off and denied. I was molested by my baby sister’s husband, which my mom did nothing about when I informed her of the red flags. This was the foundation of my losing myself and not knowing who I was besides someone to be taken advantage of and controlled. Only way to deal is to disassociate. My father is also a full fledged narcissist.
Another excellent video Professor. Makes me want to find this book. My exGF said she started sexually knowing her body at 5! She was with boys for awhile very early then realized she was a lesbian. Just last year she said she almost feels trans - but not sure. Sexually, she was kind of Stone Cold (lesbian term for not wanting to be touched). I know she was neglected at a young age and her parents were abusive at times but she never spoke of other trauma but I know something happened to her by the way she said “sometimes it’s too hard to discuss” when we were watching a movie clip about trauma. She said she could always open up to me yet she discarded me last week after off/on since 2012. I always wanted to be her rock but her abuse was too much for me.
Hey Just C, Been seeing your posts on a lot of the bpd videos. I read a lot of comments always looking for situations like my own. I think my ex also has bpd. We broke up 2 years ago after she brutally devalued and discarded me just a few weeks after telling me she loved me. She experienced horrific childhood trauma. But, she seems to be in denial about the whole bpd thing. Even tho she was diagnosed last year when she was hospitalized. She treats me in a similar way. I'm the person it seems like she keeps coming to talk about her trauma and feelings. I've tried to pull away many, many times now going nc for months on end hoping she would see how much I love her and want to be with her but to no avail. The push pull thing even tho we never have gotten back together and I know we probably never will. I have no idea how she really feels about me. All I know is everytime I try to go away from her because it hurts too much to watch her move on and date others, she keeps calling and telling me she misses me etc. However, it's only been 2 years for us. Looks like it's been much longer for you. I tried to pull away again recently after she said she startwd dating someone and broke my heart all over again. But that lasted onky a few weeks I guess and now she's trying to pull me back in and last night I caved and answered. Does your ex know she has BPD?
@@0220LMB hi there Lisa - I’m sorry you’ve gone through so much and glad you see similarities in our situations. It definitely helps us know that we aren’t the ones causing their behaviors (my ex would say otherwise even though she IS the common denominator in all her failed relationships). Sucks to cave in, I know 😔 they treat us like crap saying the most vicious things then we struggle staying NC when they hoover. I’ve done it many, many times so don’t be too hard on yourself for replying. To answer your question, I don’t know if she knows. I remember a long time ago her mentioning a therapist recommending CBT therapy to her (after he failed relationship) but thought nothing of it til now. She’s been seeing a counselor & mentioned therapy again in passing but has never told me what. When I’ve asked, she split on me. During one of our 2-3 week “breakups” I suggested she get into DBT. She said she would get help. Still - no word on if her counselor had diagnosed her. Honestly, I’d say she’s 7-9! Anyway, I’ve known her since 2001 but we didn’t get in a relationship til 2012. She left me in 2016 because we were LDR, got together with someone else but called me throughout.(shocking); that girl I believe walked out on her, immediately I was the ‘chosen’ one so we were together a year up til 3 weeks ago. She kept emotionally abusing me etc …, wasn’t AS bad during our LDR (always in honeymoon mode I guess), this time we were in the same town again. I believe I’m in the final discard this time. Sorry so long … !!! No short answers for these. C.
@@princhipessa1969 Thanks so much for replying to my comment. I always regret answering her after trying not to for so long. She kept calling and I answered the other night. She got to talk to me about her feelings for life and feelings for a couple hours (having nothing to do with me) and then that's it. She drops off again and no idea when I'll hear from her again. She knows she can get me with "I miss you" and "I'm not dating that person anymore" but I know she doesn't miss me in the same way I miss her. It truly is like having a little bit of the drug you're addicted to and then when they go quiet again, the withdrawals start all over. She has other friends. I don't see why she needs me. I guess because I am the only one who she can talk to when she cant sleep at 3am. It's the only time she bothers to call now. Funny how she doesnt miss me during the day. What seems a little different in my situation is, she doesn't ever contact me during the day anymore or send me any texts or anything. And If I send one, she usually ignores it. She truly just uses me to talk to in the middle of the night when I guess no one else is around and she needs someone. I always think this will change when I tell her I cant be friends and I go NC for a long time. Now she will keep calling and say she misses me in the middle of the night just to get me on the phone so she can talk about what she needs to. I feel so used. Sounds like at least you guys have been back and forth for a while. She never seems interested in seeing me anymore. She told me she was facetiming with her friend here the day after I spoke to her and it occurred to me, not only does she never call me during the day anymore, but she also never asks me to facetime her. I havent seen her in a year. Tho we have sent each other new pics but it just hurts so much. I have such deep feelings for her and want to see where things would go. I don't know what she wants from me. Could she really be doing all this for 2 years just to have me as a friend to listen to her when she needs it? It must be because she goes right on trying to date other people. Then she will mention how beautiful I am and how sweet, etc and we have this emotional connection. Well, why not give me another chance after discarding me two years ago? If she really didnt feel "that way" towards me at all, wouldn't she just go away forever? It's so confusing. I really, really appreciate your reply because it helps to talk to someone who is in a similar position as I have been. I don't even think we have ever been in the honeymoon stage. We only dated a few months and this was when the pandemic happened and she told me she had all these strong feelings for me, asked me to quarantine with her and I had no where else to stay during that time so I did. She kept raging at me and kicking me out. That first week was like 3 times in a week! I had done absolutely nothing. It was the most confusing, scary thing I have ever been through in my life and I've been through a lot. The after the split and first discard, I was left so confused I started looking online for answers and that's how I learned about bpd. Now I'm just another ex pining after her quietly while she tries to keep me as a "friend" like the others. She keeps breaking my heart over and over and making me feel so bad that she is using me. I wish I was wrong about that but it's pretty obvious that is what's happening. Anyway, I'm so sorry you're going through this again. No so sure if that is really the final discard tho if you guys have such a long history together. I ordered a couple books about bpd through the library but idk, at this point she probably does have it since she does fit a lot of the criteria. Just doesn't seem there's going to be anything more I can try to get her to want to see me or be with me again. Sucks but I guess that's how it is. I wish there was a place where we could talk and support each other as the partner/ex of someone with this. It's such a lonely thing not having anyone to bounce my situation off. My motto since I met her 2 years ago as been "I'm so confused'. I should get it on a t shirt.lol Thank you again for taking the time.
Thanks to Winona Ryder’s for pushing as hard as she did so we have this in an amazing film. She fell in love with the story and advocated for Girl, Interrupted after her and Johnny D. broke up. Hopefully people will research the books that helped create it.
I follow you very closely Prof. Vaknin. You have been a source of wisdom, light and so much needed answers to mysterious puzzles in my life. Saw a movie named Jaoon Kahan Bata Ae Dil. It kind of reflected the similar borderline situation. The movie ended with some solace but I am sure reality is different.
I feel very sorry for these people. I met an American girl in an online game who had very odd behaviors. Although she was very smart a postgraduate in Engineering and now doing her PhD but her mental health was totally off. She seek male attention like crazy. But I believe she was a narcissist rather than borderline. All in all the only consistent emotion she had was anger and rage.
“She cannot be in touch with herself, it is simply life threatening” Does this mean by me developing self awareness could be the direct reason I am so depressed.
... two mothers, five sisters, and a wife of over 25 yrs, yeah- all this behavior is familiar to me and ive always said things will not turn out well for society and the future when SO many people/ women have put themselves thru modern hell like this...
Does this include giving your body to a man to make sure he loves you? To keep him around? Cause if you don’t then you know that he won’t be happy with you and if I don’t give it immediately whenever he wants he won’t love me anymore. No one will love me anymore. Men only want sex, so if you give it, and give it good, they’ll stick around.
I'm borderline and had a bad day. But I'm happy with myself. Not proud of everything I do but I know what I need. I need a narcissist or someone capable of being as attentive as one
I hope people can understand from this video and other videos that bpd is a serious mental illness. If you invite these people in your life and get hurt, it's on you. Just like if you play with a snake and get hurt, it's on you!
Is it common that borderlines never initiate any sexual experience with a partner? Almost always make themselves available sexually but never the one to initiate even if it meant waiting a long time for the partner to initiate. Does that mean lack of sexual interest and they use sex as a way to control the partner? Even though they claim the sex is mind blowing and the best they ever had. Are they lying?
As a borderline I initiated sex but yea, only cuz we don't wanna be rejected. Could never 'enjoy' sex much because of past things.. And yea I would always say it was the best sex, sometimes it was the best sometimes it wasn't x
What is the relationship beetween borderline and narcisisme in this UA-cam film? I can find one but still I want to know what was the purpose of it? Thanks in advance.
This makes me sick because I was in a relationship with someone with bpd 4 years down the drain, I can’t believe people are like this and I hate it on and off splitting and outer control I walked through hell and what have burnt alive it will take years of recovery for a non bpd to be one’s puppet
@@yeahnahsweetas It is truly the mother of all mental disorders. This disorder is the worst of them all for a girl/woman. read more into it, listen to how fucked up this video is.
@@casket8530 Maybe it is, but the way the guy worded his comment sounded quite condescending towards people with bpd, as if they're uglier than a malignant narcissist who spends their life purposefully fucking up other people's lives. How can you say a bpd person who only hurts themselves is uglier than someone who needs to meddle with others to feel better about themselves? If anything, the borderline can take solace in knowing they were strong enough not to become a narcissist as a product of their abuse. That's the way I see it anyway.
@@yeahnahsweetas I think he means it's the worst disorder to have as an individual Tbh. Everything about BPD is devastating and bleak in it's totality for the person suffering from it. I do believe BPD is worse than narcissism for a person, its believed that BPDs are failed narcissists. Now of course, narcissism is terrible for other people but BPD is worst for the individual self if that makes sense
I am a healed borderline woman. It has been the most difficult process I have ever experienced. I was getting emotional listening to you, but grateful that it wasn’t triggering. Sex has been my whole life. I’m 46 and finally understanding the value of my body. It has been years of therapy, spending a lot of time alone, research and reading. Thank God
I am honored to read your words of truth. I am about to attempt to extend my ex-fiance's life, who I grew up with, if she accepts my assistance. I am medically trained in multiple medical sciences. She remained without treatment due to her enabling family who all suffer from BPD. At 52 I hope she begins to value her body as well. Currently she has less than approx 3 years left to live. May you find all the love you deserve by continuing to love yourself first and foremost. Always and forever. ❤
I’m 30 and well on my journey, I feel there isn’t all that much hope for a “healing”
I’m looking forward to my 50s+ and getting a bit of that burn out !!!
I found a used copy for such an amazing price I decided to buy several for a girlfriend, and both of our teen daughters. The timing could not have been more serendipitous as my daughter was just speaking with me about her interest in the film, “Girl, Interrupted”, and wondered if I thought that any of the characters may be sociopaths, psychopaths, or women with borderline personality disorder.
I had my daughter young, and with that comes many challenges, unfortunately it’s the child who truly suffers the most. I have done my best to disclose my own mental health conditions with her as the moments presented themselves and when appropriate. I wanted her to know she could always speak to me about anything, that I myself was far from perfect, (stating the obvious there). In her late pre teen years, around 9 or ten I began to notice changes in her. Her father and I split when she was 7 and he found a new family shortly after, with a daughter. His new daughter was perfectly matched in age to the one he chose to discard entirely. I too was abandoned by my father. I know that look of deflated hope, stolen youth, and emptiness. I saw it first in myself, and then in my beautiful daughter. Since then it has been difficult, you name it, my daughter did it. Was caught selling the “inappropriate green” plant, caught corresponding with a boy incarcerated in a juvenile center, and many more things I don’t wish to discuss for fear of the YT algorithm catching my comments and flagging for removal.
Fast forward to several months ago, I was told she was going to leave when she was 18, “maybe I’ll come back when I’m 28-30. I’ll dance for money. Who cares.” My heart broke… again. Time passed slowly.
Finally, this morning she said she wanted to study psychology and eventually be able to teach others, like I had taught her.
She wants to go to school, she wants something better for herself.
She believes she deserves better, and for me, that means EVERYTHING.
Thank you Sam for offering your knowledge to people like me to share, (to the best of my ability). I- WE may have helped the most important person in my life. Thank you.
Wow you saved a life right there, good job mama
This describes my life. I've got to read this book. I truly believe I have this disorder but I'm still undiagnosed. The way you analyze it all makes total sense and is so accurate.
An accurate description of my life which was both painful and helpful to watch. I was 13 and had my first sexual experience with a 25 year old. I didn't resist, just did what he told me - like an automaton. Minor self harming started shortly after this while I was still being used by him. Sex is like a lens through which I view life and it's always present, even in non-sexual situations. I was diagnosed 20 years after the first encounter.
Thank you Rebecca and Prof Vankin
Vaknin.
@@samvaknin Yes apologies for the typo, they irritate me as well :)
@@samvaknin such a narcissist :-)
I'm going to therapy and going to see a psychologist for the first time soon. Im nervous what he will tell me, but I also want to know what's going on so I can stop hurting myself and others, this is too accurate.
I’m 30F and 20+ yr of 1 on 1 counseling on and off and 3 rounds of dbt, this has brought a fair amount of self awareness. I can no longer be the tornado I once was. I use to be very social.
I now isolate because I don’t want to get hurt and or don’t want to hurt others.
Gone from a explosive borderline to a very implosive borderline.
This video is very good. Now I finally really understand the psychology behind it. I got many pieces before watching it, but now it all makes even more sense. Thank you.
It was totally acurate. I wish the best for this girl. 🙏💟
anyone else has this feeling that borderlines - hypersexed - might have bveen childhood sexual abuse victims which they dont have memories of ( because they were too young or completly dissociated?) and this sort of sexual behaviour is repetition compulsion? and they actually at the time of trauma couldnt do anything about it and it was done by an authority figure with a lot of influence ?? and somehow their disorded is both there to hide the trauma but try to uncover the trauma?
Spot on. I know I have some qualities of a borderline which I’ve worked on through self awareness. I was molested by my grandfather which my mother brushed off and denied. I was molested by my baby sister’s husband, which my mom did nothing about when I informed her of the red flags. This was the foundation of my losing myself and not knowing who I was besides someone to be taken advantage of and controlled. Only way to deal is to disassociate. My father is also a full fledged narcissist.
Me too
That’s exactly what happened to me I couldn’t have said it better myself. Thanks for the comments now I don’t feel so alone.
I had close to the same but had repressed memories, I forgot until my daughter was born. Got therapy.
Yep me 100%
Can't think of worse disorder for a girl/woman. This is dark.
Another excellent video Professor. Makes me want to find this book.
My exGF said she started sexually knowing her body at 5! She was with boys for awhile very early then realized she was a lesbian. Just last year she said she almost feels trans - but not sure. Sexually, she was kind of Stone Cold (lesbian term for not wanting to be touched).
I know she was neglected at a young age and her parents were abusive at times but she never spoke of other trauma but I know something happened to her by the way she said “sometimes it’s too hard to discuss” when we were watching a movie clip about trauma.
She said she could always open up to me yet she discarded me last week after off/on since 2012. I always wanted to be her rock but her abuse was too much for me.
Hey Just C,
Been seeing your posts on a lot of the bpd videos. I read a lot of comments always looking for situations like my own.
I think my ex also has bpd. We broke up 2 years ago after she brutally devalued and discarded me just a few weeks after telling me she loved me. She experienced horrific childhood trauma. But, she seems to be in denial about the whole bpd thing. Even tho she was diagnosed last year when she was hospitalized.
She treats me in a similar way. I'm the person it seems like she keeps coming to talk about her trauma and feelings. I've tried to pull away many, many times now going nc for months on end hoping she would see how much I love her and want to be with her but to no avail. The push pull thing even tho we never have gotten back together and I know we probably never will. I have no idea how she really feels about me. All I know is everytime I try to go away from her because it hurts too much to watch her move on and date others, she keeps calling and telling me she misses me etc. However, it's only been 2 years for us. Looks like it's been much longer for you.
I tried to pull away again recently after she said she startwd dating someone and broke my heart all over again. But that lasted onky a few weeks I guess and now she's trying to pull me back in and last night I caved and answered.
Does your ex know she has BPD?
@@0220LMB hi there Lisa -
I’m sorry you’ve gone through so much and glad you see similarities in our situations. It definitely helps us know that we aren’t the ones causing their behaviors (my ex would say otherwise even though she IS the common denominator in all her failed relationships).
Sucks to cave in, I know 😔 they treat us like crap saying the most vicious things then we struggle staying NC when they hoover. I’ve done it many, many times so don’t be too hard on yourself for replying.
To answer your question, I don’t know if she knows. I remember a long time ago her mentioning a therapist recommending CBT therapy to her (after he failed relationship) but thought nothing of it til now. She’s been seeing a counselor & mentioned therapy again in passing but has never told me what. When I’ve asked, she split on me. During one of our 2-3 week “breakups” I suggested she get into DBT. She said she would get help. Still - no word on if her counselor had diagnosed her. Honestly, I’d say she’s 7-9!
Anyway, I’ve known her since 2001 but we didn’t get in a relationship til 2012. She left me in 2016 because we were LDR, got together with someone else but called me throughout.(shocking); that girl I believe walked out on her, immediately I was the ‘chosen’ one so we were together a year up til 3 weeks ago. She kept emotionally abusing me etc …, wasn’t AS bad during our LDR (always in honeymoon mode I guess), this time we were in the same town again.
I believe I’m in the final discard this time.
Sorry so long … !!! No short answers for these. C.
@@princhipessa1969 Thanks so much for replying to my comment. I always regret answering her after trying not to for so long. She kept calling and I answered the other night. She got to talk to me about her feelings for life and feelings for a couple hours (having nothing to do with me) and then that's it. She drops off again and no idea when I'll hear from her again. She knows she can get me with "I miss you" and "I'm not dating that person anymore" but I know she doesn't miss me in the same way I miss her. It truly is like having a little bit of the drug you're addicted to and then when they go quiet again, the withdrawals start all over. She has other friends. I don't see why she needs me. I guess because I am the only one who she can talk to when she cant sleep at 3am. It's the only time she bothers to call now. Funny how she doesnt miss me during the day.
What seems a little different in my situation is, she doesn't ever contact me during the day anymore or send me any texts or anything. And If I send one, she usually ignores it. She truly just uses me to talk to in the middle of the night when I guess no one else is around and she needs someone. I always think this will change when I tell her I cant be friends and I go NC for a long time. Now she will keep calling and say she misses me in the middle of the night just to get me on the phone so she can talk about what she needs to. I feel so used.
Sounds like at least you guys have been back and forth for a while. She never seems interested in seeing me anymore. She told me she was facetiming with her friend here the day after I spoke to her and it occurred to me, not only does she never call me during the day anymore, but she also never asks me to facetime her. I havent seen her in a year. Tho we have sent each other new pics but it just hurts so much. I have such deep feelings for her and want to see where things would go. I don't know what she wants from me. Could she really be doing all this for 2 years just to have me as a friend to listen to her when she needs it? It must be because she goes right on trying to date other people. Then she will mention how beautiful I am and how sweet, etc and we have this emotional connection. Well, why not give me another chance after discarding me two years ago? If she really didnt feel "that way" towards me at all, wouldn't she just go away forever?
It's so confusing. I really, really appreciate your reply because it helps to talk to someone who is in a similar position as I have been. I don't even think we have ever been in the honeymoon stage. We only dated a few months and this was when the pandemic happened and she told me she had all these strong feelings for me, asked me to quarantine with her and I had no where else to stay during that time so I did. She kept raging at me and kicking me out. That first week was like 3 times in a week! I had done absolutely nothing. It was the most confusing, scary thing I have ever been through in my life and I've been through a lot. The after the split and first discard, I was left so confused I started looking online for answers and that's how I learned about bpd.
Now I'm just another ex pining after her quietly while she tries to keep me as a "friend" like the others. She keeps breaking my heart over and over and making me feel so bad that she is using me. I wish I was wrong about that but it's pretty obvious that is what's happening.
Anyway, I'm so sorry you're going through this again. No so sure if that is really the final discard tho if you guys have such a long history together.
I ordered a couple books about bpd through the library but idk, at this point she probably does have it since she does fit a lot of the criteria. Just doesn't seem there's going to be anything more I can try to get her to want to see me or be with me again. Sucks but I guess that's how it is.
I wish there was a place where we could talk and support each other as the partner/ex of someone with this. It's such a lonely thing not having anyone to bounce my situation off. My motto since I met her 2 years ago as been "I'm so confused'. I should get it on a t shirt.lol
Thank you again for taking the time.
speechless halfway through, the narration of the dance throughout my life is shattering. looking forward to finding this book
Thanks to Winona Ryder’s for pushing as hard as she did so we have this in an amazing film. She fell in love with the story and advocated for Girl, Interrupted after her and Johnny D. broke up. Hopefully people will research the books that helped create it.
I follow you very closely Prof. Vaknin. You have been a source of wisdom, light and so much needed answers to mysterious puzzles in my life. Saw a movie named Jaoon Kahan Bata Ae Dil. It kind of reflected the similar borderline situation. The movie ended with some solace but I am sure reality is different.
there is also a movie from 2017 called "Tess", based on a book called "Whiplash" by Tracey Farren
Wow! Sam.. thank you so much for sharing your experience and shedding light and understanding on so many of our complicated lives. Merci
I feel very sorry for these people. I met an American girl in an online game who had very odd behaviors. Although she was very smart a postgraduate in Engineering and now doing her PhD but her mental health was totally off. She seek male attention like crazy. But I believe she was a narcissist rather than borderline. All in all the only consistent emotion she had was anger and rage.
That's still borderline trust me x
40 percent of Borderlines are also Narcissists.
Thank you Sam/Rebecca
Thank you Professor Vaknin - I have just ordered the book on abebooks (plenty of cheap copies available. ) I hope I have the courage to read it.
Thank you 🙏🏻
Yesss Sam you keep treating us 🙏🏻
Hey I just downloaded this book to my kindle. Am really interested in this because I am also this girl , thanks for the recommendation 😊
“She cannot be in touch with herself, it is simply life threatening”
Does this mean by me developing self awareness could be the direct reason I am so depressed.
Makes sense
I love your enthusiastic review!! Great to hear.
I too have discovered great things in bins...
... two mothers, five sisters, and a wife of over 25 yrs, yeah- all this behavior is familiar to me and ive always said things will not turn out well for society and the future when SO many people/ women have put themselves thru modern hell like this...
Does this include giving your body to a man to make sure he loves you? To keep him around? Cause if you don’t then you know that he won’t be happy with you and if I don’t give it immediately whenever he wants he won’t love me anymore. No one will love me anymore. Men only want sex, so if you give it, and give it good, they’ll stick around.
Nah. Sex you can find anywhere. A good woman? That's difficult.
Gonna get it.
Looking for it now.
I'm borderline and had a bad day. But I'm happy with myself. Not proud of everything I do but I know what I need. I need a narcissist or someone capable of being as attentive as one
Prof are Putin completly Narcisist? Can you do one video for him? Thankss
I hope people can understand from this video and other videos that bpd is a serious mental illness. If you invite these people in your life and get hurt, it's on you. Just like if you play with a snake and get hurt, it's on you!
Is it common that borderlines never initiate any sexual experience with a partner? Almost always make themselves available sexually but never the one to initiate even if it meant waiting a long time for the partner to initiate. Does that mean lack of sexual interest and they use sex as a way to control the partner? Even though they claim the sex is mind blowing and the best they ever had. Are they lying?
We don’t want to be rejected.
As a borderline I initiated sex but yea, only cuz we don't wanna be rejected. Could never 'enjoy' sex much because of past things.. And yea I would always say it was the best sex, sometimes it was the best sometimes it wasn't x
What is the relationship beetween borderline and narcisisme in this UA-cam film? I can find one but still I want to know what was the purpose of it? Thanks in advance.
They're both B cluster personalities. Certain traits overlap each other.
Dear Sam, thank you for this recommendation, which other books can you recommend me for personality disorders. Looking forward to your reply
Very few of these books available. It is not in print.
Try Abebooks.
Yes, I ordered one as soon as I saw Professor's video. I was just putting out the APB.
My book arrived today 😁
Sam, i like you!
This makes me sick because I was in a relationship with someone with bpd 4 years down the drain, I can’t believe people are like this and I hate it on and off splitting and outer control I walked through hell and what have burnt alive it will take years of recovery for a non bpd to be one’s puppet
Borderline is a significant complication. The ugliest trait you can picture.
Your comment would be better without the second sentence.
@@yeahnahsweetas It is truly the mother of all mental disorders. This disorder is the worst of them all for a girl/woman. read more into it, listen to how fucked up this video is.
@@casket8530 Maybe it is, but the way the guy worded his comment sounded quite condescending towards people with bpd, as if they're uglier than a malignant narcissist who spends their life purposefully fucking up other people's lives. How can you say a bpd person who only hurts themselves is uglier than someone who needs to meddle with others to feel better about themselves? If anything, the borderline can take solace in knowing they were strong enough not to become a narcissist as a product of their abuse. That's the way I see it anyway.
@@yeahnahsweetas I think he means it's the worst disorder to have as an individual Tbh. Everything about BPD is devastating and bleak in it's totality for the person suffering from it. I do believe BPD is worse than narcissism for a person, its believed that BPDs are failed narcissists. Now of course, narcissism is terrible for other people but BPD is worst for the individual self if that makes sense
@@casket8530 Okay I see your point, maybe I did misinterpret the guy.. and it is a valid point you make. Thanks for pointing that out to me.