How to Heal from a Breakup - Things that have Helped Me Move On

Поділитися
Вставка
  • Опубліковано 30 тра 2024
  • I love you, thank you for doing life with me and sharing your wisdom.
    TIME STAMPS:
    0:00 My Healing Process
    1:37 My 8 Tips for Healing
    10:23 Wisdom from this Community
    ---WHERE TO FOLLOW ME---
    INSTAGRAM: / michel.c.janse
    TIKTOK: / michel.c.janse
    MY FOOD INSTAGRAM: / lafoodfiles
    TWITTER: / michel_c_janse
    POSHMARK: poshmark.com/closet/michel_janse
    PINTEREST: / michel_janse
    BLOG:
    MAX THE DOGGO: / max.the.goodest.boy
    ----LET’S HANG---
    + Check out my site for NEW BLOG POSTS OFTEN!:
    + WANNA JOIN THE FB FRIEND GROUP? / micheljanse
    + SHOP ALL MY FAVORITE THINGS:
    + HAVE YOU LISTENED TO THE PODCAST?
    podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast...
    ~SHOP~
    -FAV AFFILIATE LINKS & PROMO CODES-
    -Most of my jewelry is from Mejuri and I have an affiliate link for 10% off: mejurifinecrew.sjv.io/zabVzr
    -Cozy Earth (my sheets): my.cozyearth.com/michelcjanse
    -ManiMe (My stick on nails!) 20% off with code 'michellovesmanis' AT THIS LINK: manime.pxf.io/4ZVO3
    -Max's Dog Food (Code MAX for 15% off) glnk.io/145j/michel
    -Roolee (My Fav Online Boutique) Check for frequent sales: www.roolee.com?tap_a=6753-c39683&tap_s=743582-196543
    -VellaBox (the best candle subscription!) 'MICHEL5' for $5 off www.vellabox.com/?ref=michelj...
    ----Equipment------
    MAIN CAMERA: amzn.to/2tWr5Nt
    VLOG CAMERA: go.magik.ly/ml/18d9o/
    Handheld Tripod: amzn.to/2XsNXQx
    MIC: amzn.to/37xTYOO
    LIGHTING: amzn.to/2VsNiyp
    Hard Drive: amzn.to/2yNyx08
    ----Michel's Favs----
    I update this frequently with my favorites!
    www.micheljansesmith.com/my-f...
    ----FAQ:----
    ~How tall am I? 5'7
    ~Where am I from? Boerne, TX
    ~Where do I live? I spent 2016-2021 in Pasadena CA but have now moved to Austin, TX
    ~What did I study? Nutrition and Dietetics from ASU!
    ~How old am I? 24 (born in '97)
    ~Are you Christian? YES!
    ~What's your full name? Christiane Michel Janse
    ~How do you pronounce that? Like... Christy-Anne Mick-Elle Jan-See
    ~Do you have pets? YES! A rescue pupper named Max :-)
    ~Favorite Store? Everlane + Madewell
    ~Favorite Drink? Oat Milk Matcha or Lemonade Kombucha
    ~Favorite Friends? YOU
    FTC: This video is NOT Sponsored. Some links may be affiliate links meaning I make commissions on sales with no extra expense to you. (thanks for supporting me by using my links!) All opinions are my own.

КОМЕНТАРІ • 219

  • @NikitaUnique
    @NikitaUnique 2 роки тому +146

    I think we should call it the “growing from it” process from now on, rather than “getting over it”. More positive, and at least for me, more accurate. ☺️

  • @jenloves4260
    @jenloves4260 2 роки тому +5

    One thing about going on a date….don’t do it if you’re just trying to prove something to yourself and have zero intention of a relationship unless the other party is 100% aware of that. It’s just selfish to take someone else’s time for nothing.

  • @shelbywein5203
    @shelbywein5203 2 роки тому +22

    Re: Pictures and texts. I had over 10 years worth with my ex, along with a child. 16 years old through 27. I have kept them all posted and saved because a) it would erase so much of what made me and makes me me, having literally grown up with that person, and b) I owe it to my son as well, so that he always knows, even though it ended, he was made with love. It's been 4 years and I'm only just now able to look at them without hurt, but I have them and I have to be thankful for who I became during that time, and who I have become now because of and in spite of that time.

  • @missbuckeye
    @missbuckeye 2 роки тому +31

    Idea for future video: I'm thinking about getting a dog, but I really want to know all that goes into being a great caregiver to a fur baby. Can you share the details/cost people don't see in caring for Max? No sugar coating. Thanks! 🐶💜

    • @tranquility9325
      @tranquility9325 2 роки тому +1

      I got a puppy recently. Obviously food, shots which are due according to their age, vet bills if and when necessary, toys and more toys especially when they are teething, shampoo of course and flea and tick prevention according to their age.
      For example, my puppy is on simparica broken up in 3rds bec he's so small he can't take an entire pill right now he's only 10 weeks old.
      It's also imperative that you get a crate which you will need to implement crate training so that they don't cry at night or when places in crate. This is very important to significantly reduce damage to your house when you aren't at home. They can even go in the crate when you are home but unable to supervise them. You want to avoid giving them rawhide, that is hard for dogs to digest according to my vet.
      I hope this helps.
      The costs vary depending on what is needed at the time. I think the crate I got was around 70 plus or so. I have also administered shots to him myself too save a lot on vet bills.

  • @meredithpeyton820
    @meredithpeyton820 2 роки тому +12

    My husband despised blonde hair, so after he left me while I was in my last semester of nursing school I got blonde hair. My therapist said no spouse/SO should dictate what hair color you have. Also, he despised nose rings. I was actually visiting my brother and SIL in austin. My SIL was so impressed that I sort of just went for the nose piercing. Having had both done, friends and family have said they actually look good on me. Having just gone for my nose piercing I feel like it instilled some empowerment.

  • @CeiraMayberry
    @CeiraMayberry 2 роки тому +14

    With the pictures, just put them in an archive or a separate folder on your phone or computer so that you still always have them because they are your memories too after all, but just in a place where they are out of sight, out of mind. 😊

  • @EllaMyBunnyValentine
    @EllaMyBunnyValentine 2 роки тому +20

    I just ended a 23-yr marriage. You are doing so much better than me! It honestly feels like mourning a death.

    • @sandraboyle2520
      @sandraboyle2520 2 роки тому +1

      🤗☀️🌈💖✨✨✨

    • @kristalnunley7205
      @kristalnunley7205 2 роки тому +4

      23 years is a long time! I’m so sorry! 🥺

    • @karenmurdoch1042
      @karenmurdoch1042 2 роки тому +1

      Me too! (30 yrs) So hard trying to make sense of it x

    • @kristalnunley7205
      @kristalnunley7205 2 роки тому

      @@karenmurdoch1042 I just lost my dad due to MS…my mom and dad were together for 40 years. I can see where it’s exactly like morning at death.

    • @blueseptember2174
      @blueseptember2174 2 роки тому

      15 years here. Can't comprehend how they can just walk away.

  • @lisabraswell1521
    @lisabraswell1521 2 роки тому +36

    This video was so darn good. Navigating the end of a relationship is never easy, and you've hit on all the important areas. Re: photos and messages...take your time. Especially with photos - there may be a few you might want to keep. For now, though, if there are any actual physical photos, you might want to gather them in an acid-free box and store them somewhere away from your apartment...maybe at your parents' home...until you feel like the time is right to go through them. Photos on your phone can be stored on an external flash drive, and then just throw that in the box with your physical photos. In the future, you might want a couple of those pics...or you might want to toss the whole thing out, but at least you'll be doing it with a clear mind. Distance changes perspective. Sending big hugs! XO

  • @trisha250
    @trisha250 2 роки тому +6

    Idea: Put all your texts/videos/pictures onto an external hard drive and give it to your parents for safekeeping. (And yes, you can password protect the external hard drive.) Then delete them from your devices. Best of both worlds. Cheering you on! You're doing great.

  • @JP-nb2fv
    @JP-nb2fv 2 роки тому +36

    This type of content (“chatty”, sit down, deep dive convos) are seriously so refreshing! I think it’s THE perfect format to add weekly to your channel if at all possible. And I LOVE that you asked for feedback and questions on Instagram to help share a more full and rich and diverse perspective! Well done!!

  • @lanyebarnick8410
    @lanyebarnick8410 2 роки тому +5

    What you can do with your wedding dress is take it somewhere so it can be made into baby outfits that have passed on. I hear that there are hospitals that take said outfits for families that are in need. i think this would be a beautiful gift for someone!

    • @maryjoobrienmoulding6298
      @maryjoobrienmoulding6298 2 роки тому +1

      That would be a Beautiful thing. Make little clothes they bury them in. such a good idea.

  • @larisawhite29
    @larisawhite29 2 роки тому +14

    I don’t think it’s healthy to delete all pictures for every breakup in every situation. I think acknowledging that chapter of your life happened and that that person was in that chapter is important. Keeping at least a few pictures is an important reminder of that chapter. We don’t delete every chapter just because it’s uncomfortable. But it reminds us we’re strong and that we want to move forward and how far we have come

  • @TheLunaPulvia
    @TheLunaPulvia 2 роки тому +5

    These sit down relationship videos are my fav

  • @LG-ex8bu
    @LG-ex8bu 2 роки тому +3

    If I am totally honest, when you were in LA, I didn't always watch your stuff. At first I couldn't figure out why, but looking back now, I think I could feel you weren't being your authentic self (your authentic self is awesome btw). Now I'm like "Michel posted?!? Watch immediately."
    My ex and I broke up after 6.5 years. When you meet the "one," you will still be your authentic self... you got this girl. So much love for you. ❤

  • @Mariatyra
    @Mariatyra 2 роки тому +6

    I think the best way to get over breakup is to know you’re not defective. Those that choose to cheat have their own insecurities. You’re worth love ❤️. Life happens for a reason.

  • @maebenson6596
    @maebenson6596 2 роки тому +4

    Wow, I feel like I have just watched a master class in healing from a breakup!

  • @cnbandy
    @cnbandy 2 роки тому +2

    I had 4 years of texts, photos, videos, emails, physical things that I immediately got rid of when my ex told me cheated. I didn’t regret it at all - not even when he came crawling back a month later saying he made a mistake and wanted me back. There was a fleeting moment where I considered getting back with him, and everything I got rid of was a wide open reminder of what he did. It was a hole that I wanted to fill again, but with someone new who I could trust and love. Here I am, getting ready to celebrate four years with my fiancé who I marry in May. I don’t think I could have opened myself to him if I was carrying around the past. It was so important for my healing process. So was blocking my ex, not checking on him, not talking, nothing. People come into your life for a reason and when you part ways, it’s best not to veer off the path. Go forward in your new direction and let the past be where it is. This was a great video, Michel. I wish I would have done some of your healing tactics. Everything always works out, though!

  • @amyparis5756
    @amyparis5756 2 роки тому +2

    **I DO NOT recommend deleting pictures or anything else that can be kept in a Tupperware box. Tuck it in the faaaarest and lowest corner of your closet and know they are there, but my guess is you’ll never reach for them. But they are there, & not destroyed.

  • @christinalayden6488
    @christinalayden6488 2 роки тому +9

    Hi! I deleted EVERYTHING from my very painful previous relationship. It was so healing to me. It was hard to go through them and flood my body with those memories, but after deleting them I was beyond relieved. I must say, if the pictures included my dog, I cropped the person out and kept the pic of my dog 😂 thank you for this amazing video💕

  • @jennifergifford5415
    @jennifergifford5415 2 роки тому +2

    I've also noticed that Michel doesn't refer to her ex by first name anymore. That's another good tip to try, if possible, to help heal and move on.

  • @mmpeace17
    @mmpeace17 2 роки тому +2

    I never deleted pictures but I also never went back to look at them, you can’t erase your past and I believe everything happens for a reason. Maybe one day the pictures can be looked back on and hurt or resentment won’t be felt. You may be grateful to have those pictures one day.

  • @Martina_horst
    @Martina_horst 2 роки тому +5

    I ended my 8-year relationship in November, and I deleted all pictures with him in them around December/January. I felt neutral doing it, but now I’m relieved it’s over with so that the memories don’t pop up on various social media platforms when I might not be in the best headspace to see them. (Our breakup was very amicable, and we are still friends to a certain extent, so it wasn’t because it was painful to even see him.)
    I had first started watching your channel for your wedding content when I was planning our wedding. Once I began to realize the relationship wasn’t working I stopped watching you. A few months after the breakup I came across your page again and saw your divorce announcement. As awful as I felt that you were/are experiencing that, it also felt reassuring, in a way, to see another person my age ending a long-term relationship at the same time as I was. (I believe your announcement video was posted at the beginning of November, which was also when I ended the relationship.)
    Basically, as strange as it sounds, I feel comfort going on this new journey in life with you, Michel. Thanks for being vulnerable with all of us and sharing your life. 💖

  • @NatalieGrace99
    @NatalieGrace99 2 роки тому +2

    I've done a combination of things that your audience suggested, Michel. During my relationship, I was gifted (very generously) a specific journal I'd really wanted by the other person. During the relationship I made it a scrapbook of photos. After the relationship ended, I used that journal as my therapy/brain dump journal. I literally rewrote better memories over the painful ones, I wrote letters to the other person to allow them space to heal while I dealt with things the way I needed to, I just brain dumped in the moments of intense emotion to get the hurt out of me. Whenever I felt the need to reach out to them, I wrote instead. That journal became such a vital part of my healing and my hurt turned to intense gratitude, as I learned to love myself, the journey, and that journal again. I also wrote with the complete intention of sharing it with the other person one day, and the way I wrote it was very candid. Interestingly enough, by the time I finished each entry, I always made up my mind that I'd never share it and it was more for my benefit that those things needed to be said than for the benefit of the other person. So approaching with that mindset also helped heal (not sure if that part made sense?).

  • @maya_miriakillis
    @maya_miriakillis 2 роки тому +2

    Coming from a 24-year old who recently got a divorce too. This is so true, it's like a paradox, I am not kidding. The same steps that you have mentioned Michel, I have been through all of them, and it is so comforting knowing that you are not alone dealing with all of it! Thank you!

  • @ShawnaX1
    @ShawnaX1 2 роки тому +2

    For the photos, when I went thought it, I put all the videos and photos and anything on a USB drive. I went out and bought a pretty purple one, and put “chapter of life” on it and then I just store it in my closet, it’s there if I need it. But my phone and laptop are clear so I don’t accidentally run across them to trigger unexpected memories.

  • @brinaf2857
    @brinaf2857 2 роки тому +7

    I was with my ex for almost three years. We weren't married nor did we live together and, in hindsight, I'm so grateful for it.
    The relationship ended because he cheated on me with his ex. As heartbroken as I was (I thought I found the person for me), the relationship was really toxic, I was walking on eggshells all the time and never thought of leaving him because of a warped sense of loyalty.
    Long story short, a few months later, when I was finally over him, I found my current partner. He is kind and thoughtful and I can't help but think that I would never have found him if I hadn't broken up with my ex.
    Another important thing that happened is that trying to understand what happened I figured out several problems and toxic situations in other areas of my life, and now I'm working on myself.
    It does get better and, sometimes, it's truly a blessing in disguise. ❤

  • @lisaflores8801
    @lisaflores8801 2 роки тому +1

    Got rid of all pictures but came across a couple asked the kids if they wanted it and no they didn't....its been 4 years January...much better but no support financially has been tough and rewarding ...im doing it...relieved ❤

  • @Blo039
    @Blo039 2 роки тому +2

    You will find an amazing man! I just know you will be soooo happy with your next partner. All the lessons learned from this breakup will make your next relationship so strong. You will know what you want and what you are not willing to take anymore. I’m excited for you and your future.

  • @moonbeamknight90
    @moonbeamknight90 2 роки тому +2

    Keep a few photos. Ones that spark something, good or bad. You can’t delete your past you can only grow from it. Sometimes you need a reminder of what happened to avoid going back. Take a few, print them out if need be, paste them in a journal and write about it especially how you grew from it. It helps to release feelings, but can also provide a reminder to look back on in the event you feel yourself backpedaling, even if that back pedal is with a different person.
    It’s ok to have good memories with an ex, they are your memories.

  • @Alyssa-ye2co
    @Alyssa-ye2co 2 роки тому +1

    I deleted everything the very next day. I found it very helpful. Very. Out of sight out of mind.

  • @raychill1502
    @raychill1502 2 роки тому +4

    I’ve found that putting all your photos with your ex in one folder, maybe Dropbox or google photos, and putting it out of sight for a while is really helpful to heal. Now that I’m healed I’m glad I still have them and it’s sometime nice to go back and look at them. I would say if it was a really toxic relationship it may be better to just delete all together.

  • @breealexander3924
    @breealexander3924 2 роки тому +11

    I appreciate your vulnerability. I believe you are more true to yourself than you appeared to be when you where married! I love this Strong and Fierce woman you have blossomed into! I only wish at 25 I was as mature as you! 💗

  • @konstancja2973
    @konstancja2973 2 роки тому +15

    You are doing so great! ❤ also, about the photos - the idea that came to my mind is to ask a friend to send all the ex photos to a one folder in your computer and then delete them from your phone! This way you don't have to go through all the memories while deleting the photos yourself but you still have them saved if you ever choose to have a look

    • @emmy8526
      @emmy8526 2 роки тому +3

      I would also say, separate out the photos that are just of you doing things that still feel fun and interesting in hindsight during that time, e.g you on a nice day out, a project you completed, etc. You did spend those years growing, creating and having adventures; they’re worth treasuring even if the other person who was there didn’t continue on with you. You shouldn’t have to memory wipe every part of six years of your life. But for the rest, a buried folder or a thumb drive that’s tucked away with tax papers, maybe (;

  • @kathya9522
    @kathya9522 2 роки тому +1

    I kept photos, but I have two children who one day might want those photos. But since you don’t have children, I suggest you keep the actual photos he isn’t in. Send him or a member of his family the ones you are not in. Then scan the ones you are both in, store on a photo stick and get rid of the actual photos. You can still retrieve them if there is ever a need.

  • @janel6240
    @janel6240 2 роки тому +1

    You have wedding photos other than that all the rest should go, if someone cheated on someone, those are memories that will hold you back, you want to build good memories from here on out and that means dumping the toxic ones so you can give to someone else, fresh start means fresh start💜

  • @stephluvsdave
    @stephluvsdave 2 роки тому +1

    For me, I had children when the relationship with their dad ended. It's a whole other animal but all those photos cannot just be eliminated.
    I learned to take those photos and file them away for however long they needed to be out of my sight so that one day I could look at them with fondness for the memory and not see all the anger.
    I've done that with other breakups since and it's very helpful. I'll sometimes just run across a file or a photo that's been packed away forever and when I see it I'm actually happy and excited to share the memory behind it. Maybe it'll be the same for you or maybe it won't. In 5 years if it's still an issue you can always just dump the photos. 🙂🙂

  • @ndc427
    @ndc427 2 роки тому

    It hurts to delete but it hurts more to look back. Speaking from experience

  • @janelleresseguie7242
    @janelleresseguie7242 2 роки тому +3

    I definitely would delete pictures, as much as it feels weird in a way deleting all those years and memories of pictures it saves you from those days when you’re feeling low and find yourself looking back at the pics. It can definitely put you one step back in your healing process, or even make you feel down after years beyond the breakup/divorce.

  • @TheHardcoreHatred
    @TheHardcoreHatred 2 роки тому +1

    On the topic of the photos; I personally took all of the pictures off of my phone and out of the various photo albums on my computer and put them all into one file and I put that file inside of a folder that was inside of a folder that was inside of a folder that was inside of a folder. I didn’t feel right permanently getting rid of all of the memories from the seven-year relationship or from my wedding. He may no longer be in my life but it just felt wrong erasing those permanently. But I put them so deep inside of other folders so that I had a moment to stop and think, do I really want to look at these right now. And nine times out of 10 I stop myself and I don’t look at them. Not having them on my phone anymore was a huge step in healing though. Are used to sit and look at them daily and now I rarely ever look at them.

  • @havenshay561
    @havenshay561 2 роки тому +4

    Exactly what I need to hear right now!!!

  • @kiwimitts2
    @kiwimitts2 2 роки тому +1

    I saved all photos and screenshots of texts that meant something to me when we were together to a flash drive and tucked it away. Then removed everything from my phone and computer and social media. It gives me comfort in knowing I have them and makes me feel less bitter than I would have if I had just deleted everything.

  • @kyrstenosterloth2908
    @kyrstenosterloth2908 2 роки тому +23

    I definitley have done the redoing memories, and the first thing I got was a new mattress. Nobody but me had slept in it. Such a big help! I'm so glad you have learned so many things. You seem to be hopeful now 😊

    • @kyrstenosterloth2908
      @kyrstenosterloth2908 2 роки тому +9

      I have deleted all pictures. It has helped me to heal. I also threw all of my wedding stuff away. I understand it's sort of wasteful, and drastic to some people. To me, it felt like a new beginning and closing the door.

    • @Rachelsmemo
      @Rachelsmemo 2 роки тому +3

      @@kyrstenosterloth2908 I couldn’t do it. It was part of my life… bad or good. Good for you!!!
      Now when (many years later) I look back I wonder what was I thinking. As I’m typing this, I’m considering tossing them🤔🤷‍♀️ Thanks Kyrsten! Truly!

    • @kyrstenosterloth2908
      @kyrstenosterloth2908 2 роки тому +2

      @@Rachelsmemo Everyone's healing journey is different ❤ we had separated and through actions that were done, I had already separated myself from that person emotionally so it was a little bit easier for me then, meaning it wasn't so fresh. I had a hard time throwing it away, I just knew in my gut it was going to help me heal. You know when you are ready ❤ sending love and peace your way!

    • @Rachelsmemo
      @Rachelsmemo 2 роки тому +2

      @@kyrstenosterloth2908 🙏🏻 thank you!!

  • @Hollyfae
    @Hollyfae 2 роки тому +2

    This is such a great resource for people after a break up. My advice on photos/videos in particular is to hide them from yourself. All of my stuff is backed up by Google and you can hide things in a password protected folder and that's what I do every time I stumble across things (which I still do 4 years later - so many videos/screenshots of conversations/photos that still tug at my heart even though I have moved on) because I like to imagine this digital goldmine that I can revisit when I'm old - or someone can maybe stumble across some day. ancient digital ruins. There were lots of sweet and fun things that I can't look at, but maybe some day. If not, I don't ever have to see them again. :) Great video.

  • @saorieubanks4404
    @saorieubanks4404 2 роки тому +1

    Advice on the 6 years of pictures, i recently went and deleted all of my pictures from my social media and phone. I am still working on deleting them from my computer, so what I have done is putting them in password protected folder so I dont have to be tempted to look at them. I plan to eventually deleting them, but I am not there yet. I found you at the same time my divorce was happening so I looooove all of your videos and love your personality.

  • @clairedavis5268
    @clairedavis5268 2 роки тому +2

    LOVE this

  • @kaitlynkovacs6502
    @kaitlynkovacs6502 2 роки тому +3

    Thank you for all the great content you have been sharing. I love your vlogs and car chats. :)

  • @LStottmann
    @LStottmann 2 роки тому +1

    This is a perfect video. From you and the community. Wonderful ideas. And the “everyone is doing best with what they’ve been given” hits home.

  • @kcourtney6826
    @kcourtney6826 2 роки тому +1

    I love how candid you’ve been through this process, all the things you’ve learned just sets a good foundation for what’s to come.

  • @lorimariegrace614
    @lorimariegrace614 2 роки тому

    My husband and l divorced after 23 years of marriage. I think I would have regretted disposing of all pictures of that time in my life because that era made me who I am today. I am happily remarried coming up on 16 years. As l ride into the sunset of my life l find l can look back on those pictures and memories with a lovely nostalgia that far outweighs the pain of one of the most cathartic times in my life. You don’t need to dwell on them, nor is it healthy to do so, but treasure them for what they are…. part of the makeup of you!

  • @heidymchavez
    @heidymchavez 2 роки тому

    I binged on your channel for like 2 months straight some time last year. Worked long hours for 5months so stopped watching UA-cam. I now have some free time again and was looking on my subscribers list and couldn’t find you. Finally found your channel! How was I not subscribed 🤦🏽‍♀️I thought I was subscribed this whole time. It took me 1 whole week to find your page.

  • @karenbuhagiar491
    @karenbuhagiar491 2 роки тому +1

    Absolutely beautiful words of wisdom. I am in awe.

  • @pattiwitham4276
    @pattiwitham4276 2 роки тому

    Those pics etc are part of your history! It’s hard but they will be better and you can appreciate those later on! You are awesome and special to a lot of people!

  • @mitzibud6908
    @mitzibud6908 2 роки тому

    Another awesome video!! Thank you!!

  • @pajamamama5965
    @pajamamama5965 2 роки тому +4

    Wow! This was seriously good and super helpful. I hope at some point you'll have a part 2. For me, as soon as that person was no longer in my life, my confidence began to shoot through the roof, and it showed me how constantly they were putting me down in subtle ways to the point where I was feeling gaslighted and totally uncertain about my own worth and capabilities. Another thing was how much I learned how to love and take care of myself in ways that I didn't think were possible because I was depending on someone else to do that for me. Because I wore rose-colored glasses and had constant hopes and expectations, what helped me was to bring it more into reality by focusing on the very bad negatives that were harmful and even dangerous. I reminded myself of those things whenever I had the desire to reconnect. I suggest hanging onto the photos and video. As long as you have the self-control not to constantly go back and look at it. Its a part of your life story and even though it didn't end the way you had hoped, it still has meaning and value.

  • @kristalnunley7205
    @kristalnunley7205 2 роки тому +5

    Hope you had a fantastic birthday in Fredericksburg!!! You are absolutely stunning and I am so proud of your growth and strength!

  • @cassandraboyer7068
    @cassandraboyer7068 2 роки тому

    So happy for you coping and moving on in a healthy way :)

  • @xsacbeauty
    @xsacbeauty 2 роки тому +2

    I'd love more sit down videos! They are great to listen to while working! Thank you! :)

  • @ClodofEarth
    @ClodofEarth 2 роки тому +1

    I kept the photos! I think deleting them feels like deleting part of my life experience and what I’ve been through, regardless of that person not being part of my future. You were still in those moments, and that’s worthy of honoring. I DID however delete them off my phone and stored them on the cloud, so they were less accessible and I was less likely to hurt myself by looking back.

  • @gyrl7
    @gyrl7 2 роки тому +3

    First! Love your vlogs! Please keep doing them.

  • @gwynethglas-brown9171
    @gwynethglas-brown9171 2 роки тому +1

    Lovley video 🥰

  • @carolinelvsewe
    @carolinelvsewe 2 роки тому +1

    So well done. I am not in your situation and yet lots of life lessons in many of your points!!!! You’ve got this girl. Pretty soon well hear Michel the relationship therapist.💖

  • @GabrielleCameron
    @GabrielleCameron 2 роки тому

    What a brilliant video! Honestly exceeded any expectations I had

  • @justinfelt748
    @justinfelt748 2 роки тому +2

    Hi, Michel and happy Wednesday!😊😊😊😊😊😎☀. I'm so glad that you're okay when these tornadoes struck the state of Texas yesterday!😨. It was scary. Also, the word "Expendable" means something like my best friend from high school in 2006. I said, "Well, it means that someone invites to a party and your best friend didn't show up."😢.That's why you're alone. So....yeah. Take care.😊💙💙💙💙💙💙💙👍

  • @amy_isom
    @amy_isom 2 роки тому +36

    I love where this channel has wandered to! I love that you have been so open, it’s really helped me understand everything that goes on behind the scenes. I feel much more prepared to help any friends or family who go through something similar. And I feel much more appreciation for people I know who have gone through this. Thank you so much. I’m sure it was scary and vulnerable, so thank you🤍

  • @KREG875
    @KREG875 2 роки тому +1

    Loved this! I’ve done a lot of these things since my ex and I split, and they’ve been really healing. As far as the pictures of the past relationship, I personally have decided not to delete them. I don’t want to deny that part of my life even though it was a part I’d rather not remember. Those memories are part of what’s made me who I am today, so I’m choosing to keep them. Like you said, I don’t actively go looking for those pictures that include my ex, but I don’t want to delete them either. That’s just me. Anyway, thank you for this video! 💐

  • @elbow7991
    @elbow7991 2 роки тому +1

    This was very insightful! Thank you! ❤️ Also, keep the special photos. Later after you heal you will be glad you kept them. They are part of your journey.

  • @donnacoxx8232
    @donnacoxx8232 2 роки тому +1

    love your necklace

  • @chrissiedcohen
    @chrissiedcohen 2 роки тому

    Thank you, beautiful soul!🥰

  • @allyssumrose
    @allyssumrose 2 роки тому +3

    Hi Michel 😊 I loved this vlog!! You had some good tips to help you & others going through a breakup. As for the pictures 📸 & past videos/vlogs of your ex I would put all of them on a CD or zip drive to store. That way you still have a memory or representation of your past but it's not in your face all the time. When & if you feel in the future that you want to take a stroll down memory lane & you won't be affected by that in a negative way then you can go through them @ that time. Love you Michel & I'm truly excited to see all the wonderful things that await you!!! *On a personal note I had been in a manipulative relationship & he made fun of a pair of short boots I got, so when I was no longer with him I was going to wear them all the time especially cuz he hated them. I didn't do that cuz I didn't want wearing my gorgeous boots to have any negative feeling with that. He may hate my Elvis meets Liberace boots but I LOVE THEM ❤️. Prayers & Wishes Lisa Hampton 😃

  • @Ninkopi
    @Ninkopi 2 роки тому +3

    17:38 that would have been a great vlog! but it might have been intimidating and something you felt you needed to overcome. that pressure can be overwhelming and it's important to give yourself a break too or it becomes the opposite of healing

  • @juliemkphotography9279
    @juliemkphotography9279 2 роки тому +1

    Michel, you are so brave to share! As far as photos I would delete most, just keeping a few that really mean something and that say "this happened in my life"...and then put them aside in an album whether real or virtual.

  • @Chelbsn
    @Chelbsn 2 роки тому +1

    I'm going to add just one to this amazing list.... If you have a bad day and get stuck in your feelings, it doesn't have to be a setback but instead a necessary part of growth💗 Be gentle with yourself

  • @user-tr1vt4ol3l
    @user-tr1vt4ol3l Рік тому

    so great tips. Thank you

  • @MrCHILLn01
    @MrCHILLn01 2 роки тому

    I really needed to hear this thanks for making this video

  • @marbs8615
    @marbs8615 2 роки тому +1

    love your hair and makeup in this video!

  • @jenniferu.n.4084
    @jenniferu.n.4084 2 роки тому +1

    You are such a truly good person. ❤️ Wishing you all the happiness in the world because you deserve it.

  • @rondastothers472
    @rondastothers472 2 роки тому +2

    Great content for so many people to take from.

  • @pennyl4875
    @pennyl4875 2 роки тому

    I just love your openness

  • @beckymcfarlane1863
    @beckymcfarlane1863 2 роки тому +1

    Book a trip to Hawaii with sister! I used to dump journal a lot! It was cathartic! ❤🌈

  • @amariahforever
    @amariahforever 2 роки тому

    I love this so much! I am getting over a very abusive relationship and I am learning how not to be co-dependent. These tips have really helped me to let go and move forward for what God has for me. Excited for this new season!

  • @NnN-lx5eh
    @NnN-lx5eh 2 роки тому +6

    I hope you know how much of this divorce you have gone through has helped so many of your viewers.

  • @AnneRas11
    @AnneRas11 2 роки тому

    Michel thank you for sharing this journey. Your post on this hit me as I am going through a break up with a tight group of childhood friends. It became toxic relationships in this group of us 4 friends. We all connected every day and then 1 friend became addicted to a medication that she is taking in a dangerous amount. I was the one to take a stand the other friends chose to continue to watch from sideline. I finally recently cut my ties with my friends, the only close group I have. All your points are so helpful. I had to stop checking in. I had to block them. I did make sure I thanked them for the better times we had but for my health & character I had to cut ties. It has been hard at 60 to think about finding new friends and have been so inspired by your solo outings. I have a wonderful husband and grateful but as we know our friendship groups are sometimes as meaningful in filling parts of our lives as a spouse. I know I have made the right choice but still not easy.

  • @shellbell1974
    @shellbell1974 2 роки тому

    You are so inspiring! Thank you for this video…I love every bit of this content!!!XOXOXO

  • @cindyfroese245
    @cindyfroese245 2 роки тому +1

    The second last one really spoke to me. It was an unfortunate situation and he needed to put himself first, and understanding that made me feel so much better. Still hurting, but I realize I can’t be everything they need and they can’t love me the way I need.
    I also did delete the conversation, but I still have screenshots of the texts that I love. They’re no longer on my devices, but they’re on a drive in case I decide to look at them again one day

  • @autumnclack6073
    @autumnclack6073 2 роки тому +1

    My two cents on texts, pictures, and such...I deleted all the texts, but moved the pictures to a thumb drive and put it in a box of memories that I still held dear (some presents, cards,, and such) but didn't want to see daily. I have a few old boyfriend boxes one I tossed because the relationship was too toxic to keep it (i just had to get my heart to that point to let go) but others after time I could look back and smile at happy times in our life together.

  • @lisebelanger1692
    @lisebelanger1692 2 роки тому +1

    Some really good and helpful tips, thank you for sharing those with us, the healing process does take time, and learning to be kind to yourself helps as well, as the old cliché says, "it takes two people to make a successful marriage and partnership work", so if one is not invested in it, then time to invest in yourself and well being.

  • @budd20e
    @budd20e 2 роки тому

    Wonderful video. Thank you for sharing and being so vulnerable On the to keep or delete old photo question. I simply downloaded and filed all the photos and tucked them away. I also hid albums on social media. Nearly 13 years later when I was trying to remember a detail about something I was very glad I had had those photos tucked away out of site and out of mind on an old hard drive. Time really gave me perspective. Looking back at the time of the split I think it would have been easy for me to just delete but now I'm glad I have those photos as they have allowed me to remember some beautiful times and above all learn and derive even more wisdom from the experience. Hope this helps someone. ❤

  • @karenmurdoch1042
    @karenmurdoch1042 2 роки тому

    Thanks Michel, that was really helpful xxx

  • @hollandgirlsmom7113
    @hollandgirlsmom7113 2 роки тому +2

    I loved this! A video suggestion, how to foster a relationship with your parents, being a single mom, wanting to foster and strengthen my relationship of not only parenting and offering support but just being there. The vlogs/Instagram posts with your mom give me the aspiration to have that same quality relationship with my daughter's.

  • @pparks8776
    @pparks8776 2 роки тому

    I just stumbled upon your channel. I am older and just have to say, you help me have genuine respect for your generation. You guys know yourself so much better than my generation. I wish you the best!

  • @sillytoon16
    @sillytoon16 2 роки тому

    I love this video! :)

  • @raebtfl
    @raebtfl 2 роки тому +1

    Deleting the photos and text threads helped with out of sight out of mind. I later found photos of my ex and I on my hard drive, but after I was well into my healing and it didn’t bother me to see them.
    If you don’t want to completely erase that chapter of your life, maybe dump the photos on a hard drive and toss the hard drive somewhere and maybe you’ll stumble on it when you’re in a place where it won’t bother you.

  • @NaomiChristian
    @NaomiChristian 2 роки тому

    loved this, Michel! i found these tips helped me just as a single, even if i haven't gone through a divorce. ❤️

  • @jessicahaynie9426
    @jessicahaynie9426 2 роки тому +1

    I was in a 3yr relationship before I met my husband and deleted all memories in pictures from that relationship. It was extremely healing. Like that chapter was closed and I got everything beneficial from that time, kept what knowledge and lessons were necessary for me to grow, and then let the rest go. It felt like the closure I needed and the one I would have never gotten otherwise.

  • @nancy-ve9tr
    @nancy-ve9tr 2 роки тому

    I think that thinking of boundaries as a way to “protect” yourself is a really good way to see it and hopefully change your mindset about not checking on that person.
    By the way! This new hair really suits you! It looks beautiful, flirty, and definitely reflects your confidence ☺️
    On the note of doing things that youre afraid, remember that overcoming that “fear” is where you become a stronger person. Overcoming scary things gives you power, you’re a better prepared person because you have this experience, you know what the feeling is like and also what it is like to pass that hurtle, and in the end you come up on top.
    Keep doing what you’re doing, you’re doing great 💕

  • @janaspeese5745
    @janaspeese5745 2 роки тому +1

    Thank you for being so open and sharing! As far as deleting photos, I would suggest keeping them (at least for now). Maybe remove them from your phone to an external option and box them away for now. Although your life has led you down a new path, it’s okay to keep photos from your life journey…they are a part of your life story. Once photos are deleted, they are gone. This phase of life you are in will pass in time, but you may want to look back at those photos 20 yrs from now and see how far you’ve grown! Until you know 100% you’d never want to look back at that time of your life, I would hold onto them! 🤗

  • @zaakeeyat8541
    @zaakeeyat8541 2 роки тому +1

    I did everything I had asked my ex to do with me or for me. I just made sure I really kept myself active and trying new things.

  • @letitiasaffier6940
    @letitiasaffier6940 2 роки тому

    I found your channel when I was planning my wedding, watching your videos on wedding planning, two years later I came across your channel again and going through a divorce as well. You have helped me so much with my own healing and your vlogs are the best part of my day. I so much appreciated this video. The pictures of us I have removed off my phone etc. and have stored it on a USB stick. Social media memories and pictures I have archived and changed settings so that I don't see them. Did not want to delete as yet until I know for sure I am ready to delete forever. Thank you and love your channel.

  • @Temmie-vc8mq
    @Temmie-vc8mq 2 роки тому

    Thank you, Michel, For this video. It brought me hope.

  • @daynabee5521
    @daynabee5521 2 роки тому

    I also had a six year relationship and finally after a few years deleted everything, photos and cards to be open to new and positive items.