The thing people have to understand is one case of dementia is not everyone elses case of dementia. So ignore comments and do what works for you and your case. My aunt has dementia and is completely different from your dad
I totally agree, my Mother passed away from Alzeheimers in 2013, we cared for my Mom for 8 years with this terrible disease, no 2 people deals with the same when it comes to Dementia and or Alzeheimers, keep doing what you and your family is doing, you are wonderful with your Father, God's speed ❤❤❤❤
Retired nurse here (experienced in hospice), I also had a mother in law who had vascular dementia. Dan, God bless you for your patience. After watching the videos of you telling your dad that Bill passed 15 years ago, it seems to really calm him down knowing he doesn’t have to worry about him anymore. Please continue to tell him the truth, because that’s what works for him. God bless you all. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
I fully agree. Ed deals with the truth much better than telling him anything else. You and your wife do a very good patient job, taking care of your father ❤😊
I agree every time.. Not only that , if he's being lied to and a jolt of memory does come that removes all trust.. best to just say he died ,your 92 and.was at funeral etc.
I think Dad is preparing to go see his brother, Bill. Maybe, The spiritual connection between the two is Reigniting because its time to go see his brother❤??
@@MariaGrijalvaSacramentoomg I think your right. I don't want to see that happen 😢. What a kind man... BUT he needs a hug from all of YOU. JUST DO IT BEFORE IT TO LATER. U HEAR ME DAN ? Pop needs hugs NOW. WE ALL ARE HUGGING HIM NOW. JOIN US PLEASE. 😢😢😢😢
@@MariaGrijalvaSacramentoI agree. Bill is probably communicating with him in some way, telling him it won’t be much longer. I had an elderly friend during the last six months of her life telling her family that invisible people were telling her to stay put and they would come get her soon. The last being a month before she died.
Well,I never lied to my father,it's just the way !, I was raised ,and yes sone of us has been threw it my father passed at 95 yrs old best father in the World ,but I never lied to him, just think if he knows in his head you lie ,? What's he going to think then
I observed lying to him confused him more. Maybe subconsciously he knows that Bill is not on vacation. I also observed his sadness when being told the truth. My heart goes out to Dan and to Dad.
Ah, I see what you're trying to say, but after watching every single video for theirs over the last few years, this is definitely not the case. It's important to also apply a healthy dose of common sense. These videos only capture small snippets of their 24-hour days, seven days a week. Nobody can give insight based off these videos, nobody! Dan is a lovely son and intellectual man, and has picked up on his father’s patterns of dementia! They are doing everything right! Everything is in the highest entrance of his father’s comfort.
I’m a Dementia worker. There is no right or wrong answer. Patience, understanding and compassion goes a long way. ❤❤❤ Aww! Grandpa Ed, I’m so sorry. My heart is breaking.
Dr Ed totally impresses me. How he has the body at nearly 92 is amazing. I never miss a conversation with him. Long live DR ED SALINGER. 👍🌻🌻🥰... HERE COMES A HUG 🤗 FROM MINNESOTA. GOD BLESS U. 🙃
He's not dumb, he's just forgetful! If you don't tell him the truth, he's naturally gonna try and figure out how to get ahold of his brother he cares so much about! He's clearly a caretaker at heart and his dementia will send him in circles if given the chance. You're doing the right thing by telling him the truth Dan. Blessings to you and yours! Your an inspiration to so many!
He's not forgetful. He has dementia. Short term memory no longer exists. Please educate yourself. This is a f*cking evil disease that causes continual brain damage.
He seems to respond differently (better) when you tell him the truth as opposed to lying to him. What a blessing you are giving your dad by allowing him to age with grace and dignity. ❤
Dan has to do what’s best for both he and the Dr to get through every minute, every hour, every day. It’s easy to judge or criticize when its not us in the situation. He has to live it over and over. That’s mentally draining. Instead of criticizing, better to say “There but for the grace of God, go I.” Dan really is a patient, loving, caring son and Dr Salinger is very lucky to have such wonderful kids. He obviously raised then right!
When you record your parent in their time of crisis, it seems to be a financial benefit not concern. Grab the camera let's get paid! ❤ Pathetic criminal attorney, you are Dan!
@@kastnostonesYou’re a deadset idiot. Dan brings light to a disease most don’t often get to see in its fullness dealing with it. It also helps people connect who are dealing with it. There are some hard videos to watch but many are so gorgeous and light. They deserve an award for bravery not your mean spirited comment. You see the truth and the truth is this is a beautiful family dealing with a difficult circumstance but with grace and kindness unlike your comment. I 💯 agree that it’s okay to get the financial support this way by bringing awareness and also entertainment as many love Ed and his family. This enables them to continue to care for him at home where he is treated with utmost dignity. This is at heart the essence of what true love does. We should all be so lucky to be part of such a loving family in an hour of great need.
@@kastnostonesand what kind of a person are you?? You enjoy being vile and trying to drag someone down. If you have hate in your heart for someone why do you keep inserting yourself into their life? Move on. You're not doing yourself any favors by showing what a cruel person you are. You insult Dan but you're the one being nasty. Good luck with reaping what you sow
I remember the last years caring for my 94 year old dad who also spent much of his time worrying about people who passed. You know your dad, you and your dad have your own relationship your own language and your love and respect for him is clear. You're doing an amazing job be proud. 😊
Thing is, Bill may be taking to him, Life is strange, I’ve met many people who claim to have seen ghosts etc. Which ever it may be, honestly with dementia people is integral & the loving thing to do. Care workers who are employed are told to simply lie & manipulate & it’s cruel, Just be honest, say your old, you forget things & that’s the way it is, your safe, we love you & we care for you now etc is the best way.
A lot of the time when they suffer with dementia they can remember things from their childhood a lot clearer than things they did 5 mins ago so they tend to ask for the people that was around at the time they remember the most which in his case seems to be when he was a child living at home with his brother, this is very common, a lot of people ask for their parents who could have died 20 years earlier❤❤
Dan, I want to apologize as I made comments about you telling your father that his brother died. Now I see that he handles the truth better than avoiding it. He had me worried for a m8nute as his anxiety grew stronger and stronger. I appreciate more than ever all your love and hard work in caring for your father 💗
@JourneywithCC23 I wasn't telling anyone how to live their lives. I am not that way. I was giving a true experience at a seniors residence. Anyway, I'm glad to have watched this. We can all learn!!
I think we all want to be able to help when we see someone dealing with situations like this in life. There is a huge difference in "telling people what to do or how to live their life" vs. giving someone advice or letting them know what worked for you. With my father, I have had a lot of people give me advice on how to handle his dementia. Some of the advice has been amazing and worked for us, while some of the advice didn't. By no means does that mean people have "told me how to live my life." Don't let others who don't know the difference bother you. I've been extremely grateful for some of the advice I've been giving along our journey. I don't think Dan made this video to try and make people feel bad for trying to be helpful, and I'm sure Dan is also grateful for some of the advice he's been given about others situations with his dad.
One thing is certain he truly loved his brother. U can tell he felt responsible for him. He must of always took good care of him. Your dad is an incredibly caring and loving man.
I took care of my husband with dementia and yes, there is all forms of dementia, but I never lied to him even if it was gonna calm him down I choose not to lie God says no liar would enter the kingdom of heaven I don’t wanna lie to anybody I don’t want to be called a liar and not enter the kingdom of heaven when I die
That made me cry ! I worked full time working a dementia, and EVERY person is different, there is NO RIGHT answer, just as no two of us are the same.you do an AMAZING job Dan.
I’m crying too! It made me sad when he kept looking and looking for Bill, but when he accepted that he died and “didn’t know that,” the look on his face just breaks my heart. And he’ll be looking again tomorrow probably. 😢
It’s so beautiful how Bill is always on his mind. He’s always wanting to speak to and care for his younger sibling. It’s really incredible, sibling love stands the test of time!!!
😢 This is so sad this brought me to tears 😭 God bless ur dad's beautiful soul. Father God please give his dad his memory back in Jesus name I pray 🙏🏼💞🙏🏼
I’m an RN worked in LTCF for years and my dad had dementia . You can redirect but never lie like some are saying . What you are doing is exactly what you should be doing . So know you are doing what should be done 💕
DAN DID YOU NOTICE WHEN YOU TOLD HIM THE TRUTH HE SAID O OK.BUT WHEN YOU TOLD HIM A LIE HE WAS SADER.CAUSE HE WAS STILL LOOKING FOR HIM.THAT NOT GOOD HE EVEN HURTS MORE.CAUSE HE IS STILL LOOKING. NO THE TRURT WILL SET YOU FREE.IN THE BIBLE LOVE YOU ED AND JESUS LOVES YOU MR.ED GOD BLESS YOU.😢.
@@berniceherrera5003 lol, I think that is the point that Dan made in the video. he wanted us to see for ourselves the different reactions and what actually worked the best.
He seems so much more distressed and troubled when you tell him you don’t know. It does seems beneficial to keep him in as much reality as possible. You’re a wonderful son.
Thank you for sharing your dad with us all and you compassionately care for him. I watch you guys a lot. You two together warm my heart, you make smile, laugh, and times cry. My heart hurts for your dad searching for his brother. I was so relieved when you told him the truth, and to hear him thank you for doing so. You along with your dad are just wonderful human beings.
Dan, once you told him the truth, his distress slowly declined. He trusts you, and he may not remember for himself, deep inside he knows you won't lie to him. You and your family are wonderful people. Much love sent for a Happy New Year ❤️
Dan, your know what's best for your father. He's YOUR father and your clearly love him. Just because something works well for someone else doesn't mean it will work for him. You are living this and your do what you know to be best for your gather and your family. Ignore the critics. You're doing a great job.
Dan, my mother is the same age as your dad. She is very forgetful but not as advanced as your father. It’s very tiring to have to remind them of so many things. I Can see what you have to go through. Sometimes I wonder if he and Bill have regular visits. You never know. I wish you all the best. You’re an amazing son. The good doctor raised you right.
Wow. That was so difficult to watch at the end. I almost teared up. I can't imagine having to relive that someone has passed and is no longer in your life, especially when you thought you just literally talk to them an hour ago. I absolutely love your dad, Dan and Danielle. He's so sweet. ❤
The way he always says thank you. True inspiration here. I'm going through the same thing with my 81yo grandmother whom i take care of everyday. Since her dementia progressed, it's getting harder and harder
Wow that was rough! People need to understand that you can’t deal with everyone the same way! Every person with dementia is different! I know people want to give advice, but it’s what worked for them! You guys are doing a great job for Ed! ❤
This was the hardest video to watch of any you've released about grandpa. It hurt to my core to sit back and watch, but it got your point across perfectly about why you do what you do and say what you say. Nobody knows your father better than his own seed, and we are so proud he has a son like you in his life. He really loved Bill. Its sad because when people die, all we have is our memories of them. So what if our memory gets hijacked. This is what your dad is living and what my grandparents lived through before they passed. I think its why i and so many others across the world feel so close with your dad. For many of us hes like our very own grandpa. Thank you for sharing your family with us, and happy holidays and much love to Dan and of course to grandpa Ed. ❤
You are SO PATIENT" like a parent to a child no disrespect intended, damn memory loss it's so disruptive to the entire family ❤ God Bless you and your family especially Pop 🙏🏻
It's also heart warming. What a wonderful son he is blessed with. I wouldn't lie to him either. My mother went through this too, but that doesn't make me an expert.
Every time you have filmed , telling him the truth , about your uncle , his reaction is very pragmatic and practical. Your father being a doctor , will likely be very practical and stoic . I think that he’s so much calmer , when you tell him the truth. So basically you know your father better than anyone else 🙏 and you know exactly what is best for him 👌
Dan, I am so glad that you told him the truth. He would not let up on uncle Bill being in that house but once you told him the truth he calmed down and sat back in the chair so keep on doing what you’re doing Dan oh I just love you for it.
This is so tough. You are doing such an amazing job. My grandmother never progressed this far but even the beginning stages are still with me. God bless you.
He is under your care and he is your father. The internet can be educated but they are not there and don’t know Ed personally. Just knowing that he sees Danielle as a motherly figure lets you know he feels safe and cared for which is huge.
Whew, this one got me. I've never cried watching any of your videos until this one. It's so hard on him, and on you, I know. I'm glad you've figured out what communication works best with your dad when he's stuck on something. Hoping all the best for you and your family.
All I can go with is what I see. I see when you try to redirect him he is anxious and unsatisfied and trying to find a feeling of completion. When you tell him the truth things aren't perfect, but there's a feeling of resolution and understanding that allows you to move on. Not every situation fits into a box and I think you have found the best way to handle yours. You never loose patience, and tell him the first time ever time. You're a good son Dan.
This is heart breaking but also heartwarming to see how much he obviously loves his brother. Don’t let people tell you what’s best for you or your dad, we are strangers and aren’t living close to the situation. You are your own expert because you live it
Dan, you and your wife are doing a PHENOMENAL job with Grandpa. I pray for you all everyday. I can only imagine the daily struggles, so I wouldn't dare tell you how to handle these situations. Thank you for allowing us to be a part of your lives, even on the bad days.
"The truth will set you free". Dan you are correct telling him like it is. You have always being respectful and loving towards grandpa Ed. You are a son that every parent would love to have.❤
You do YOU, Dan. You know your dad better than anyone. THANKS for the video trying to explain things. No explaining is needed. You are right in everything you tell dad.
Dan, I appreciate how well you take care of your dad. I thank you for your patience. I can’t imagine how hard this is. Just know that we know how important the work you do is. My family loves you, Pop, Danielle, and all of your loved ones. Stay strong my friend. Happy New Year!
I could tell you felt so bad lying to him, Dan but good that you proved it doesn’t work with him. Bless his heart. I had tears in my eyes watching him search and search and wearing himself out and then the look of sheer grief when he understood what you were telling him at the end. You are doing amazing. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Love your family. Praying for God to give you patience and peace.
Oh Dan, this must be exhausting for you and for Grandpa. How beautifully you hold grace for him and gentleness... Prayers always for you and the family as you live out these precious years with your dad. 🙏🏽
It's always so hard to get them on another subject. You just have to tell them the truth sometimes.😢 You do an AMAZING job Dan with your Dad. Much Love you and your family 💞
I’ve had friends with dementia patient family members, one kept saying the truth and the other one pretended the reality he was in was happening. Because he had been a boxer, that situation got violent. No advice works because each person is different, so coping has to be individualized too.
@@judywright4241, I totally agree with you, it seems it’s a day by day thing and caretakers have to do what’s best at the moment. Mr. Ed will probably as about his brother again tomorrow or sometime soon. My mother asked about some of the family members who had passed away before her within the last 7 years. Her husband, her son and her granddaughter (my daughter). When she asked, she would ask if they had passed away. And, then she would get a sad look on her face and shake her head and say, Lord have mercy. 😢 A few times she would ask me, what happened to her, or him, after I tell her she would sadly say, I thought he or she has passed away. I believe that perhaps she and other elderly people with dementia have dreams about their loved ones that died before them, right along with missing them as well.
Hello from Germany.... I think it's great that you took your father to take care of him, great how lovingly and patiently you answer all his recurring questions to make him a pleasant retirement, I find many of your conversations very entertaining, I find that you do everything right with your nice father.... I will continue to follow your vids and wish your whole family a happy new year and above all health.... Give your father a hug from me.....
I love how at the end he goes "Thank you, Dan. I..." 🥺 I appreciate how patient and a great son you are to your father! God bless you and your family 🙏💕
So glad you addressed this Dan. I’m often told “just redirect her” when caring for mom. To those that don’t do this 24/7, please know we do try this a lot, sometimes it works and most times it doesn’t so we have to do what works at the time to keep them safe and less agitated. What works for some, doesn’t work for others and even that can change on a dime. Thank you Dan for trying to explain what it’s like from the caregivers perspective. You and your family are as amazing as your dad is❤
That was tough to watch. Your patience is phenomenal . Thank you for showing what it is like to go through day to day with your Dad's dementia. Terrific of you and Mark the way you love him and keep him safe.
My father passed at 92 and my mom at 99 1/2. My siblings and I found it easier to seat down with our parents and quietly tell them the truth concerning their questions:
You have so much Patience Dan ❤😢. We just watch a very tiny moments of Grandpa’s life but you live and manage his memory loss all day. 🙏🏻. I have learnt something very important today. I will ensure my siblings know how much I love them henceforth.
Your father is in search of the truth in this video. Dan, I think that you handle your father's situation in the best way that works for you all. You know your father better than anybody here online. I think that you and your family do an awesome job caring for your father! This is coming from somebody who worked in long-term care for many, many years. I also currently care for my mother, who has dementia as well. Dan, do you by chance have a funeral announcement from Uncle Bill's funeral? You could possibly show it to him when he gets himself so upset looking for him. I, of course, am only making a suggestion. Dan, I think you should always do what you know works best.
While it’s so heartbreaking to watch Grandpa Ed mourn over and over again, he seems to settle down easier when he hears the truth. Dan … you and your family are doing a wonderful job looking after your Dad and keeping him safe. God bless you and your family. ❤
Your dad is so lucky to have such a loving, patient and supportive family…we went through this awful disease with my mother in law and it’s devastating. Prayers for you, your dad and your family
The fragility and confusion dementia imposes ravaging a once productive, revered, professional gentleman takes immeasurable patience, understanding, and empathy. Family caregivers are never prepared for tending to the needs of a loved one or friend whom they once embraced with an altered identity. Danielle and Dan, you are a treasured and invaluable gift to Dr. Ed. ❤
My heart goes out to you and your family. I'm in medical and health care field since 1982 and still active with people that have dementia and alhamzer and throughout the years I seen people come and go.
My mother told anyone that would listen that we had kidnapped her and she had lived in her home over 30 years. She had dementia. She couldn't walk in the end and she would try and get up and take off one time she broke her shoulder trying to get up. I think you're doing an amazing job caring for your dad. You all have helped me so much since I lost my mom. Ty for sharing
Dan, how about gathering some pictures of Bill, and some of the personal things you might still have that used to belong to him. Then you arrange a little memorial site at a special place in your house. You could also make a poster copy of Bill's obituary and place it together at this "Memorial Site". So every time Grandpa asks about Bill you can remind him to go to there. This way Grandpa can "be" with Bill whenever he misses him.
i agree..what a beautiful idea. along the same vein, a pillow with uncle Bill's picture on it might be calming and comforting. Love abounds in their home, and is being spread far and wide through them sharing Dr Ed and their experiences. Im grateful.
Dan as 1 of many of the viewers who admire and commend your efforts I just have to say you do an amazing job with Grandpa, hes one of the sweetest souls Ive ever seen and he needs the support your family offers. Prayers and Love to you all❤
Bless his sweet soul. He still remembers his brother, no matter what because he is in his heart and his mind. Two brothers always have that loving bond of connection. May God bless him and keep him.🙌🏽🙏🏽❤
I'm glad you proved the point. I'm glad that you finally told your dad. He seems so relaxed after you told him where his brother was. The truth is best. Wish when my grandmother had dementia I knew what I know now. Real life books may help. You are using experience. Thank you.💕
The thing people have to understand is one case of dementia is not everyone elses case of dementia. So ignore comments and do what works for you and your case. My aunt has dementia and is completely different from your dad
Absolutely agree I was mummys carer for 12 years what works for some doesn't necessarily work for you.
That is so very true !!! I have looked after people with dementia and they are all unique !!!
Ed is so caring about his family.
Amen!! Rge somethings Do Not Work for everyone, That goes fir Everything!!!
I totally agree, my Mother passed away from Alzeheimers in 2013, we cared for my Mom for 8 years with this terrible disease, no 2 people deals with the same when it comes to Dementia and or Alzeheimers, keep doing what you and your family is doing, you are wonderful with your Father, God's speed ❤❤❤❤
There is something in his soul that is wanting to protect his brother.. they are kindred spirits I'm sure his brother is watching from heaven... ❤❤❤
I hope Bill’s children watch these videos and see for themselves how much grandpa loved their dad.
I wondered the same thing. I hope they see it.
That's a good point.
He would be Bill's children's uncle, not grandfather. Bill is his brother.
@@RileyReidMeABook lol folks on the internet refer to him as Grandpa. We all know that bill is his brother and he is the uncle of Bill's children.
They do.
Tell your dad the truth about his brother. Be honest with him . Your dad is a very intelligent man. He will understand, he will get the sense of it .
It breaks my heart, but you are patiently showing us the bitter truth of dementia.
Retired nurse here (experienced in hospice), I also had a mother in law who had vascular dementia. Dan, God bless you for your patience. After watching the videos of you telling your dad that Bill passed 15 years ago, it seems to really calm him down knowing he doesn’t have to worry about him anymore. Please continue to tell him the truth, because that’s what works for him. God bless you all. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
I fully agree. Ed deals with the truth much better than telling him anything else. You and your wife do a very good patient job, taking care of your father ❤😊
I agree with you 1000% my grandpa had dementia and it is tough trying to figure out what to do.
😂almost the whole day I'm sorry about that Dan,God bless you.
I agree every time..
Not only that , if he's being lied to and a jolt of memory does come that removes all trust.. best to just say he died ,your 92 and.was at funeral etc.
❤
I hope that Bill is waiting at the pearly gates for his brother 💙
I think Dad is preparing to go see his brother, Bill. Maybe, The spiritual connection between the two is Reigniting because its time to go see his brother❤??
I would like what you have been taking, some good stuff?@@MariaGrijalvaSacramento
@@MariaGrijalvaSacramentoomg I think your right. I don't want to see that happen 😢. What a kind man...
BUT he needs a hug from all of YOU. JUST DO IT BEFORE IT TO LATER. U HEAR ME DAN ? Pop needs hugs NOW. WE ALL ARE HUGGING HIM NOW. JOIN US PLEASE. 😢😢😢😢
@@MariaGrijalvaSacramentoI agree. Bill is probably communicating with him in some way, telling him it won’t be much longer. I had an elderly friend during the last six months of her life telling her family that invisible people were telling her to stay put and they would come get her soon. The last being a month before she died.
@geristracener5253: you sound like a lunatic.
I think you're doing great telling him what you think is right.
Don’t listen to others if it’s negative you’re all doing good your best
Well,I never lied to my father,it's just the way !, I was raised ,and yes sone of us has been threw it my father passed at 95 yrs old best father in the World ,but I never lied to him, just think if he knows in his head you lie ,? What's he going to think then
❤💯
I observed lying to him confused him more. Maybe subconsciously he knows that Bill is not on vacation. I also observed his sadness when being told the truth. My heart goes out to Dan and to Dad.
Agree
If he knew he wouldn’t ask
That's very possible.
Ah, I see what you're trying to say, but after watching every single video for theirs over the last few years, this is definitely not the case. It's important to also apply a healthy dose of common sense. These videos only capture small snippets of their 24-hour days, seven days a week.
Nobody can give insight based off these videos, nobody! Dan is a lovely son and intellectual man, and has picked up on his father’s patterns of dementia! They are doing everything right! Everything is in the highest entrance of his father’s comfort.
I think you did right Dan telling him the truth. He couldn’t get his brother off his mind until you did. Except it is so sad. I love you all 8:35 !
I’m a Dementia worker. There is no right or wrong answer. Patience, understanding and compassion goes a long way. ❤❤❤ Aww! Grandpa Ed, I’m so sorry. My heart is breaking.
Dr Ed totally impresses me. How he has the body at nearly 92 is amazing. I never miss a conversation with him. Long live DR ED SALINGER. 👍🌻🌻🥰... HERE COMES A HUG 🤗 FROM MINNESOTA. GOD BLESS U. 🙃
How pleased Bill must be to know how much his brother cares and loves him.
You mean from heaven?
Yes from heaven
Bill is dead so he doesn't feel anything anymore. When someone does they are no longer sentient
Yes, from heaven ❤ 😇
Well, they're talking to one another... They'll meet again.
He's not dumb, he's just forgetful! If you don't tell him the truth, he's naturally gonna try and figure out how to get ahold of his brother he cares so much about! He's clearly a caretaker at heart and his dementia will send him in circles if given the chance. You're doing the right thing by telling him the truth Dan. Blessings to you and yours! Your an inspiration to so many!
Excellent comment!Completly rigth!
I agree that you should always tell your dad the Truth.
He's not forgetful. He has dementia. Short term memory no longer exists. Please educate yourself. This is a f*cking evil disease that causes continual brain damage.
He seems to respond differently (better) when you tell him the truth as opposed to lying to him.
What a blessing you are giving your dad by allowing him to age with grace and dignity. ❤
WELL SAID!! THANK YOU!!
Dan has to do what’s best for both he and the Dr to get through every minute, every hour, every day. It’s easy to judge or criticize when its not us in the situation. He has to live it over and over. That’s mentally draining. Instead of criticizing, better to say “There but for the grace of God, go I.” Dan really is a patient, loving, caring son and Dr Salinger is very lucky to have such wonderful kids. He obviously raised then right!
perfectly said!! thank you! :)
When you record your parent in their time of crisis, it seems to be a financial benefit not concern. Grab the camera let's get paid!
❤ Pathetic criminal attorney, you are Dan!
@kastnostones what a horrible thing to say 👎🏻👎🏻👎🏻
@@kastnostonesYou’re a deadset idiot. Dan brings light to a disease most don’t often get to see in its fullness dealing with it. It also helps people connect who are dealing with it. There are some hard videos to watch but many are so gorgeous and light. They deserve an award for bravery not your mean spirited comment. You see the truth and the truth is this is a beautiful family dealing with a difficult circumstance but with grace and kindness unlike your comment. I 💯 agree that it’s okay to get the financial support this way by bringing awareness and also entertainment as many love Ed and his family. This enables them to continue to care for him at home where he is treated with utmost dignity. This is at heart the essence of what true love does. We should all be so lucky to be part of such a loving family in an hour of great need.
@@kastnostonesand what kind of a person are you??
You enjoy being vile and trying to drag someone down.
If you have hate in your heart for someone why do you keep inserting yourself into their life? Move on. You're not doing yourself any favors by showing what a cruel person you are.
You insult Dan but you're the one being nasty. Good luck with reaping what you sow
I remember the last years caring for my 94 year old dad who also spent much of his time worrying about people who passed. You know your dad, you and your dad have your own relationship your own language and your love and respect for him is clear. You're doing an amazing job be proud. 😊
This one was extremely upsetting to watch. I can’t imagine how difficult this was for you. It’s absolutely heartbreaking 💔
He always looks for Bill. He must be a very loving and caring older brother to him..❤😢
My heart breaks for Mr. Ed when he goes through this. 😢
Thing is, Bill may be taking to him, Life is strange, I’ve met many people who claim to have seen ghosts etc.
Which ever it may be, honestly with dementia people is integral & the loving thing to do. Care workers who are employed are told to simply lie & manipulate & it’s cruel,
Just be honest, say your old, you forget things & that’s the way it is, your safe, we love you & we care for you now etc is the best way.
Sometimes just the " physical presence"...of someone is all you need...❤
A lot of the time when they suffer with dementia they can remember things from their childhood a lot clearer than things they did 5 mins ago so they tend to ask for the people that was around at the time they remember the most which in his case seems to be when he was a child living at home with his brother, this is very common, a lot of people ask for their parents who could have died 20 years earlier❤❤
@@chris77777777ifyno such thing as
Dan, I want to apologize as I made comments about you telling your father that his brother died. Now I see that he handles the truth better than avoiding it. He had me worried for a m8nute as his anxiety grew stronger and stronger. I appreciate more than ever all your love and hard work in caring for your father 💗
That's why you should not try to tell people how to live their lives
@@JourneywithCC23 exactly! It’s so messed up to let him know that his brother is alive all day. That sounds so awful because he will never see him
@@brandongriffin3218 exactly. He handled the truth much better than the lies.
@JourneywithCC23 I wasn't telling anyone how to live their lives. I am not that way. I was giving a true experience at a seniors residence. Anyway, I'm glad to have watched this. We can all learn!!
I think we all want to be able to help when we see someone dealing with situations like this in life. There is a huge difference in "telling people what to do or how to live their life" vs. giving someone advice or letting them know what worked for you. With my father, I have had a lot of people give me advice on how to handle his dementia. Some of the advice has been amazing and worked for us, while some of the advice didn't. By no means does that mean people have "told me how to live my life." Don't let others who don't know the difference bother you. I've been extremely grateful for some of the advice I've been giving along our journey. I don't think Dan made this video to try and make people feel bad for trying to be helpful, and I'm sure Dan is also grateful for some of the advice he's been given about others situations with his dad.
One thing is certain he truly loved his brother. U can tell he felt responsible for him. He must of always took good care of him. Your dad is an incredibly caring and loving man.
This is so sad. You are a diamond of a son, Dan. Happy New Year, from, Scotland 🏴🇺🇸
You are the one living with him and you know what works for him the best . People out of concern give you advice as they all love and respect Dr .
Dan , you have to handle that situation the best way for you. Some people haven’t walked in your shoes. I’ve been in your shoes and it’s hard work. 😢
I took care of my husband with dementia and yes, there is all forms of dementia, but I never lied to him even if it was gonna calm him down I choose not to lie God says no liar would enter the kingdom of heaven I don’t wanna lie to anybody I don’t want to be called a liar and not enter the kingdom of heaven when I die
I would help him search….and allow him to eventually tell you what happened and where his brother may be.
@@marynixon9362🙄🙄🙄
@@marynixon9362sounds selfish.
Always so gracious.
That made me cry ! I worked full time working a dementia, and EVERY person is different, there is NO RIGHT answer, just as no two of us are the same.you do an AMAZING job Dan.
I’m crying too! It made me sad when he kept looking and looking for Bill, but when he accepted that he died and “didn’t know that,” the look on his face just breaks my heart. And he’ll be looking again tomorrow probably. 😢
💯
What a glorious reunion they will eventually have.
They must have an amazing bond. Bill must be very closed to him. 💘
Amen
It’s so beautiful how Bill is always on his mind. He’s always wanting to speak to and care for his younger sibling. It’s really incredible, sibling love stands the test of time!!!
😢 This is so sad this brought me to tears 😭 God bless ur dad's beautiful soul. Father God please give his dad his memory back in Jesus name I pray 🙏🏼💞🙏🏼
I’m an RN worked in LTCF for years and my dad had dementia . You can redirect but never lie like some are saying . What you are doing is exactly what you should be doing . So know you are doing what should be done 💕
❤️ thanks for the reassuring words. Thanks for doing what you do everyday. I always say teachers and nurses are the backbone of society.
Agree, redirect but no lies. Hugs from RN in Norway 🇸🇯
Exactly! I’m an RN of 40 yrs. Never lie. Dr Ed must trust you
DAN DID YOU NOTICE WHEN YOU TOLD HIM THE TRUTH HE SAID O OK.BUT WHEN YOU TOLD HIM A LIE HE WAS SADER.CAUSE HE WAS STILL LOOKING FOR HIM.THAT NOT GOOD HE EVEN HURTS MORE.CAUSE HE IS STILL LOOKING. NO THE TRURT WILL SET YOU FREE.IN THE BIBLE
LOVE YOU ED AND JESUS LOVES YOU MR.ED GOD BLESS YOU.😢.
@@berniceherrera5003 lol, I think that is the point that Dan made in the video. he wanted us to see for ourselves the different reactions and what actually worked the best.
Your father seems to have cared for everyone’s well being! He is a very caring person!😊
💯
He seems so much more distressed and troubled when you tell him you don’t know. It does seems beneficial to keep him in as much reality as possible. You’re a wonderful son.
I noticed the same thing. Not everyone is the same. In any situation or with Any disease.
Ditto!!
Oh my heart goes out to our pops. Sending all the love in the world 💙💙Big hugs xx
Thank you for sharing your dad with us all and you compassionately care for him. I watch you guys a lot. You two together warm my heart, you make smile, laugh, and times cry. My heart hurts for your dad searching for his brother. I was so relieved when you told him the truth, and to hear him thank you for doing so. You along with your dad are just wonderful human beings.
Dan, once you told him the truth, his distress slowly declined. He trusts you, and he may not remember for himself, deep inside he knows you won't lie to him. You and your family are wonderful people. Much love sent for a Happy New Year ❤️
Dan, your know what's best for your father. He's YOUR father and your clearly love him. Just because something works well for someone else doesn't mean it will work for him. You are living this and your do what you know to be best for your gather and your family. Ignore the critics. You're doing a great job.
Dan, my mother is the same age as your dad. She is very forgetful but not as advanced as your father. It’s very tiring to have to remind them of so many things. I Can see what you have to go through. Sometimes I wonder if he and Bill have regular visits. You never know. I wish you all the best. You’re an amazing son. The good doctor raised you right.
Wow. That was so difficult to watch at the end. I almost teared up. I can't imagine having to relive that someone has passed and is no longer in your life, especially when you thought you just literally talk to them an hour ago. I absolutely love your dad, Dan and Danielle. He's so sweet. ❤
Tough one, right? Crazy
The way he always says thank you. True inspiration here. I'm going through the same thing with my 81yo grandmother whom i take care of everyday. Since her dementia progressed, it's getting harder and harder
This was heartbreaking. He loves and misses his brother. Can you imagine what is going through his head. 😔
Wow that was rough! People need to understand that you can’t deal with everyone the same way! Every person with dementia is different! I know people want to give advice, but it’s what worked for them! You guys are doing a great job for Ed! ❤
You are 100 percent correct, and I agree with you! This is difficult for Dan and his family as is.
This was the hardest video to watch of any you've released about grandpa. It hurt to my core to sit back and watch, but it got your point across perfectly about why you do what you do and say what you say. Nobody knows your father better than his own seed, and we are so proud he has a son like you in his life. He really loved Bill. Its sad because when people die, all we have is our memories of them. So what if our memory gets hijacked. This is what your dad is living and what my grandparents lived through before they passed. I think its why i and so many others across the world feel so close with your dad. For many of us hes like our very own grandpa. Thank you for sharing your family with us, and happy holidays and much love to Dan and of course to grandpa Ed. ❤
Well said!
My mom died of this dreadful disease 3 years ago this month. I simply adore how you treat your dad ❤.
God bless you all. all.
You are SO PATIENT" like a parent to a child no disrespect intended, damn memory loss it's so disruptive to the entire family ❤ God Bless you and your family especially Pop 🙏🏻
You handled that so well. What a wonderful caring dad you have. You're racking up blessings every hour for being a good and patient son. 💕
Dan,I am sorry that Ed and you have to go through this. It's heartbreaking
It's also heart warming. What a wonderful son he is blessed with.
I wouldn't lie to him either. My mother went through this too, but that doesn't make me an expert.
Every time you have filmed , telling him the truth , about your uncle , his reaction is very pragmatic and practical. Your father being a doctor , will likely be very practical and stoic . I think that he’s so much calmer , when you tell him the truth. So basically you know your father better than anyone else 🙏 and you know exactly what is best for him 👌
He really seems to calm down faster when you yell him the truth.
Absolutely. Always! Straight, honestly. It eliminates 1/2 of these conversations. Been thru it with 3 of our parents. Whose lived with us.
I was thinking the same
Agreed
I just posted the same.
That's because deep down he knows he's gone. That's why he keeps asking because he knows he's lying to him.
Dan, I am so glad that you told him the truth. He would not let up on uncle Bill being in that house but once you told him the truth he calmed down and sat back in the chair so keep on doing what you’re doing Dan oh I just love you for it.
This is so tough. You are doing such an amazing job. My grandmother never progressed this far but even the beginning stages are still with me. God bless you.
He is under your care and he is your father. The internet can be educated but they are not there and don’t know Ed personally. Just knowing that he sees Danielle as a motherly figure lets you know he feels safe and cared for which is huge.
Right before the video ends he’s saying “ thank you Dan.”
He is so kind and caring ..it’s , just amazing! ❤️
He seems calmer when you tell him the truth. Its so hard. We are going through this with my dad. He is 94.
Whew, this one got me. I've never cried watching any of your videos until this one. It's so hard on him, and on you, I know. I'm glad you've figured out what communication works best with your dad when he's stuck on something. Hoping all the best for you and your family.
he seems more accepting when you tell him hes passed and its so great how much he loves his brother
Reap blessings from taking care of a parent
No one knows how hard it is to deal with a dementia patient until they go through the same thing. I think you’re doing a great job.
All I can go with is what I see. I see when you try to redirect him he is anxious and unsatisfied and trying to find a feeling of completion. When you tell him the truth things aren't perfect, but there's a feeling of resolution and understanding that allows you to move on. Not every situation fits into a box and I think you have found the best way to handle yours. You never loose patience, and tell him the first time ever time. You're a good son Dan.
The Thank You and pardon me always gets me. He’s such a polite person in spite of his condition. He’s so blessed to have wonderful children.
Your dad is a kind gentleman, who always care about others! God bless him
This is heart breaking but also heartwarming to see how much he obviously loves his brother. Don’t let people tell you what’s best for you or your dad, we are strangers and aren’t living close to the situation. You are your own expert because you live it
Dan, you and your wife are doing a PHENOMENAL job with Grandpa. I pray for you all everyday. I can only imagine the daily struggles, so I wouldn't dare tell you how to handle these situations. Thank you for allowing us to be a part of your lives, even on the bad days.
"The truth will set you free". Dan you are correct telling him like it is. You have always being respectful and loving towards grandpa Ed. You are a son that every parent would love to have.❤
You do YOU, Dan. You know your dad better than anyone. THANKS for the video trying to explain things. No explaining is needed. You are right in everything you tell dad.
Dan, I appreciate how well you take care of your dad. I thank you for your patience. I can’t imagine how hard this is. Just know that we know how important the work you do is. My family loves you, Pop, Danielle, and all of your loved ones. Stay strong my friend. Happy New Year!
Well said Dan. I do agree how you address when he’s looking for bill the truth every time .
The end of this video is so heartbreaking, its crazy how the mind works. You guys do such a great job with Ed ❤
You’re a saint and I can only hope I live a long life and my children will take care of me like you do. Bless your family Dan.
I could tell you felt so bad lying to him, Dan but good that you proved it doesn’t work with him. Bless his heart. I had tears in my eyes watching him search and search and wearing himself out and then the look of sheer grief when he understood what you were telling him at the end. You are doing amazing. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Love your family. Praying for God to give you patience and peace.
Dan, keep doing what you know works better for your Dad. May God grant you patience and His blessings !❤
My Mother dementia too, sge passed at 81, and she stayed with me. She would look for her dad, like dad did. My heart! As you say it's life!
Oh Dan, this must be exhausting for you and for Grandpa. How beautifully you hold grace for him and gentleness... Prayers always for you and the family as you live out these precious years with your dad. 🙏🏽
It was so sad to watch him going crazy looking for his brother. I love that you always give him the truth. Truth sets us free!!
It's always so hard to get them on another subject. You just have to tell them the truth sometimes.😢 You do an AMAZING job Dan with your Dad. Much Love you and your family 💞
I’ve had friends with dementia patient family members, one kept saying the truth and the other one pretended the reality he was in was happening. Because he had been a boxer, that situation got violent. No advice works because each person is different, so coping has to be individualized too.
@@judywright4241, I totally agree with you, it seems it’s a day by day thing and caretakers have to do what’s best at the moment. Mr. Ed will probably as about his brother again tomorrow or sometime soon. My mother asked about some of the family members who had passed away before her within the last 7 years. Her husband, her son and her granddaughter (my daughter). When she asked, she would ask if they had passed away. And, then she would get a sad look on her face and shake her head and say, Lord have mercy. 😢 A few times she would ask me, what happened to her, or him, after I tell her she would sadly say, I thought he or she has passed away. I believe that perhaps she and other elderly people with dementia have dreams about their loved ones that died before them, right along with missing them as well.
What a caring man. Even confused still loving.
Hello from Germany.... I think it's great that you took your father to take care of him, great how lovingly and patiently you answer all his recurring questions to make him a pleasant retirement, I find many of your conversations very entertaining, I find that you do everything right with your nice father.... I will continue to follow your vids and wish your whole family a happy new year and above all health.... Give your father a hug from me.....
This was a heartbreaker! You are quite a guy for being so patient with dad!
I love how at the end he goes "Thank you, Dan. I..." 🥺 I appreciate how patient and a great son you are to your father! God bless you and your family 🙏💕
So glad you addressed this Dan. I’m often told “just redirect her” when caring for mom. To those that don’t do this 24/7, please know we do try this a lot, sometimes it works and most times it doesn’t so we have to do what works at the time to keep them safe and less agitated. What works for some, doesn’t work for others and even that can change on a dime. Thank you Dan for trying to explain what it’s like from the caregivers perspective. You and your family are as amazing as your dad is❤
I wish you the best with mom
heartbreaking but still, it shows how he loved his brother .. and once more, how touching the love and caring you have for your dad ! 🙏
Dan there’s no advice for you, you are amazing, and the way you care for and love your father is amazing!!
That was tough to watch. Your patience is phenomenal . Thank you for showing what it is like to go through day to day with your Dad's dementia. Terrific of you and Mark the way you
love him and keep him safe.
He got a heart of gold, worried about his brother hoping if he is fine.
You and the fam do a great job caring for your dad. I've supported ppl with dementia, always tell the truth no matter how hard.
My father passed at 92 and my mom at 99 1/2. My siblings and I found it easier to seat down with our parents and quietly tell them the truth concerning their questions:
You are so patient with your blessed dad..I love you all
You have so much Patience Dan ❤😢. We just watch a very tiny moments of Grandpa’s life but you live and manage his memory loss all day. 🙏🏻. I have learnt something very important today. I will ensure my siblings know how much I love them henceforth.
Your father is in search of the truth in this video. Dan, I think that you handle your father's situation in the best way that works for you all. You know your father better than anybody here online. I think that you and your family do an awesome job caring for your father! This is coming from somebody who worked in long-term care for many, many years. I also currently care for my mother, who has dementia as well.
Dan, do you by chance have a funeral announcement from Uncle Bill's funeral? You could possibly show it to him when he gets himself so upset looking for him. I, of course, am only making a suggestion. Dan, I think you should always do what you know works best.
While it’s so heartbreaking to watch Grandpa Ed mourn over and over again, he seems to settle down easier when he hears the truth. Dan … you and your family are doing a wonderful job looking after your Dad and keeping him safe. God bless you and your family. ❤
Your dad is so lucky to have such a loving, patient and supportive family…we went through this awful disease with my mother in law and it’s devastating. Prayers for you, your dad and your family
The fragility and confusion dementia imposes ravaging a once productive, revered, professional gentleman takes immeasurable patience, understanding, and empathy. Family caregivers are never prepared for tending to the needs of a loved one or friend whom they once embraced with an altered identity. Danielle and Dan, you are a treasured and invaluable gift to Dr. Ed. ❤
This makes me so sad 😢to see grandpa in such confusion.i really enjoy alllll of yall videos.DAN YOU ARE AN AMAZING SON😊
Only you know what to do with your family and your life. Good luck ❤
My heart goes out to you and your family. I'm in medical and health care field since 1982 and still active with people that have dementia and alhamzer and throughout the years I seen people come and go.
My mother told anyone that would listen that we had kidnapped her and she had lived in her home over 30 years. She had dementia. She couldn't walk in the end and she would try and get up and take off one time she broke her shoulder trying to get up. I think you're doing an amazing job caring for your dad. You all have helped me so much since I lost my mom. Ty for sharing
It’s so beautiful sweet and heartbreaking all in the same time.
Dan, how about gathering some pictures of Bill, and some of the personal things you might still have that used to belong to him. Then you arrange a little memorial site at a special place in your house. You could also make a poster copy of Bill's obituary and place it together at this "Memorial Site". So every time Grandpa asks about Bill you can remind him to go to there. This way Grandpa can "be" with Bill whenever he misses him.
I actually like this idea. ❤
Me too. I love this.🙏
What a nice idea! And it would be interesting to see the results. I hope Dan or Danielle will get to see your advice.
I Agree With You!!
i agree..what a beautiful idea. along the same vein, a pillow with uncle Bill's picture on it might be calming and comforting. Love abounds in their home, and is being spread far and wide through them sharing Dr Ed and their experiences. Im grateful.
Can't even imagine going through this so many times. Strength to you Dan
❤
Dan you're doing a great job. You are a wonderful son to your loving dad. You do what's best for dad and your family.
Bless you for your understanding and support and patience with your Dad.
I am so upset for your dad, he is so very stressed looking for his brother Bill. Just breaks my heart.
Dan as 1 of many of the viewers who admire and commend your efforts I just have to say you do an amazing job with Grandpa, hes one of the sweetest souls Ive ever seen and he needs the support your family offers. Prayers and Love to you all❤
You do what's best for you and your family every situation is different. Telling Grandpa Ed the truth is what's best.
I love the way you handled this by politely taking suggestions made to you and showing us how that ends up. You're a respectful person like your Dad.
Bless his sweet soul. He still remembers his brother, no matter what because he is in his heart and his mind. Two brothers always have that loving bond of connection. May God bless him and keep him.🙌🏽🙏🏽❤
I'm glad you proved the point. I'm glad that you finally told your dad. He seems so relaxed after you told him where his brother was. The truth is best. Wish when my grandmother had dementia I knew what I know now. Real life books may help. You are using experience. Thank you.💕