The Narcissist has an attachment disorder so they don't make the kind of genuine connections in relationships that we make. No matter how much it seemed real, they were pretending to be close to you. They were only mirroring us. Therefore without a "real" connection to begin with, it is easy for them to walk away. In fact, they know from the very beginning that they have no interest in being with us in the long run. And if they do, they are only there for the supply. When that runs out, watch them disappear or even ghost you.
Well said and they also plan it by having dismissive defiant disorder so they plan it as an reverse discard...They don't want you to see they have flaws too...They want to play the victim..
I saw the abandoned, damaged child in the narcissist, but he was a man. He "knew" that I would leave him. I came from an in-tact family and did not get married to be divorced. I found myself, uncharacteristically, reassuring him that I would never leave him. Well, when I finally realized that there was a core problem with the marriage, I left him and fulfilled his expectation. Self-fulfilling prophecy, I'd say.
My covert narc made a play for every attractive female he saw and he did it right in front of me. It hurt but because he was fairly subtle about his flirting, I wrote it off as him just being his charming self. I am happily relationship free and will never have to deal with another narc again.
If the narcissist walks away, and stays away from you, this is something you should be grateful for. This is a good thing, regardless of what you have done for them in the past. Don't try to figure them out, based on some understanding of how normal, healthy people behave. Cut your losses. Stay away from them.
Thank you Paula for a great video ! Narcs do eventually get their karma , and by then we don’t care ! It takes time , with no contact , severence from our addiction to them , the education , moving on to new experiences and new people , we see that it is indeed a spiritual lesson that was much needed in our life . And it is never too late ! 70 years old here and finally finding true freedom , serenity and peace of mind , it is a soul journey . Don’t be afraid , you all can do it .
56 years old, happy as can be just by myself and my dogs. I've had more than one disfunctional relationship in my life and thanks to UA-camrs like you, I finally figured it out, got over the hurt and started to claim my life. After the obsessive phase, you will be disgusted, what person you were in love with.
Have to remind myself of this often Paula, they DON'T THINK LIKE WE DO, only way to look at it is that they are SICK, EXTREMELY DAMAGED INDIVIDUALS, just leave them to it.
They are demons, it’s spiritual warfare with our souls. I kept attracting the same type of men until I found out what this behavior really is. It’s frightening. They project their inadequacies and misery onto us. If you’re sleeping with them they can transfer their unclean spirits and mysterious illnesses that are attached to them. It’s creepy once you are awakened with education and knowledge of these demonic soulless vessels. You’ll have the ability to spot the toxicity in anyone in a instant.
Damaged indeed, you have to leave them, they'll drag you under (and make you a part of their human hurricane) there's no real winners in narcissistic abuse (there's just awareness) 🤗🩷🤗
This totally happened to me, my retrospect of what happened has been painful but I now understand what or should I say who I was dealing with, my narc has a coven of narcs that he lives amongst and I had no idea that I was walking amongst them! It’s been a hard road but I’m getting there day by day, thanks to videos such as this one. Some resonate more, this is one of them. The covert narcissist I was involved with was so subtle and covert that it was almost, almost impossible to figure him out, but I did!
My Narcissistic ex is sterile. She was 37 when we married and she didn't tell me. I was devastated when she finally told me her condition but kept supporting her and agreed to adopt frozen eggs to make a family. I thought that such a costly and difficult process meant that we were born to be together and give life an opportunity. Don't regret it 'cos we have three wonderful kids, but what a dark and empty soul she is.
Being age 37 should have been a clue that she couldn't have children. A woman isn't likely to get pregnant at that age, and there's an extremely high probability of birth defects if she actually manages to get pregnant.
It’s very sad indeed. I’m so glad for these videos and comments like yours. It’s easy to think we are the only ones. I always struggle with the fact mine threw 22 years away and even can’t really be bothered with our children. I did enable him, felt sorry for him, but not anymore.
This video has given me more prospective on a lot of things. Crazy.....22 YEARS and 6 kids later. 10 months into a separation. I've had my eyes opened in an unbelievable way. Crazy.
So wild that they treat us like an etch a sketch toy. I was married 18 years and nothing mattered. 10 years with former boyfriend. He discarded me and erased the etch a sketch. Walking mental health patients like you like to say. I know my ex Narc boyfriend knows I know who he is. My ex husband I don’t think so. No Contact with both of them. For me over a year of healing from the ex boyfriend . You get stronger every day. You see the world differently now. You recognize NPD and people with high Narcissistic traits. It still blows me away they are all the same robotic Narc Speak. Survivors get out of Narcdom and never look back. God bless.
You explained Object constancy very well. It helps to understand why they can just pick up and move on without compunction. Which also brings to light the inevitable harm that comes from being in relationship with them.
Was married to the lunatic for 23 yrs together for 25 yrs, it wasn't a marriage his narc mummy was his priority, nothing and no one came before her, she was an evil manipulative, narc their relationship wasn't your normal son/mum relationship it was sick like they were married, he ran off 9 yrs ago and remarried, my son and a few people have told me that he looks like the cats dinner, I still have cptsd from their abuse, he destroyed my kids and i financially too, I could go on and on, I am glad he left, I finally have peace in my life.
So grateful to have found your channel. My husband of 12 years brutally discarded me May 13, one day prior to Mothers Day (I'm a Bereaved Mother), he planned that😈 I had very little understanding of the abuse I've been through. The future faking, the hot then cold. He monkey branched to the secretary from his work. So disturbing
At the end when the mask fell she literally told me that "There is no past, there's only now and the future". I was thinking "WTF!?" . "WTF does that mean!?" It's diabolical. It's just their way of keeping you working for them, keeping you on their 'hamster wheel'. It serves them, but it doesn't serve you. It's like 'maybe you did all this stuff for me for years, and years, and years, but what have you done for me lately?'. "Ummmm everything?" "Not good enough." Get out people- run away as fast as you can! Or live your life as damned as they are. You deserve better. Satan doesn't appear with horns and pitchfork, he appears with a nod, a wink, and smile, and most specifically with a dangling carrot. Don't be an 'ass' and fall for it. You may get to nibble on that carrot once in a while, but you'll never be satiated. Just as they never will be in life. This is their reality- it doesn't have to be yours. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. There's a billion people out there that'll treat you better. That don't spend their lives attempting to manipulate everyone and everything to their own advantage- they are DAMNED. Just get out of their way. Let them go live their distorted reality. And yes- they live their karma every second of everyday. It's why they can never be happy, never feel satiated. Always seeking the 'next best thing'. Revenge is a dish best served cold- that means you walk away- and CUT them out of your life like your excising a tumor. Because that's what they are. They are cancer, they are a parasite, they are a succubus or inversely an incubus. They want you to join them in hell. NO THANKS!!!
@@elliewegman1846 brainwashing is a real thing. It doesn't happen overnight nor instantaneously. It occurs INSIDIOUSLY. Remain guarded my friends. DON'T NEGATE RED FLAGS!!!! If it feels too good to be true THAT'S CAUSE IT IS!!! And it's by design. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. Yes there is evil in this world. Just be cautious brothers and sisters. If you have to stand on your head for someone- run away- they don't value you.
@@rhododendrons_509 she discarded me after we had serious financial difficulties. A few weeks later I wrote her about all the things I did for her wellbeing and she just to me... I have a plan to go on, where's yours.
My father taught me from an early age to never get emotionally attached to people. Always stand in your own. If people come into your life keep them at a distance. And expect nothing from them. Whatever you give don't expect anything in return
They are not invested genuinely in the beginning. It was hard pill to swallow after giving everything for 26 years and 3 children too. But now it makes sense.
Few people see this obvious truth. No relationship can survive betrayal. Can we even call it a relationship at that point? There is nothing more important than loyalty.
Three years out of the relationship, researching narcissism doggedly, I didn’t think I could learn any more; but you gave me an “ah-ha” moment with this. Thank you so much!
It makes sense why my narcissistic sister did what she did!!! I’m glad she discarded me once I held her accountable for her actions!! I’m free and doing great
Mine went back to his childhood sweetheart for a second emotional affair. They are both Narcissistic and she’s already been through 4 marriages. These individuals are also extremely naive, they can’t see the toxicity of others who are like them.
Your content I always find is accurate, at least in my experiences and making sense of it, I find I'm struggling with how, as a society, we let it go. Perhaps that is my helplessness talking. Having good days and bad days, even on my worst day, I do not want it back in my life. 6 months ago, my 40 year old son said to me, "Mum, if you let Ray come back, he will, I replied no company is better than that. I still know this fact.
After I gave birth to our first daughter - The narc's mother told him to demand that I have a blood test to determine that our daughter was in fact his own child. He requested this from me and as well told me that he wasn't present in my life because he was in love with me...He said that he was only present because he was in love with our child. If 'that' doesn't wake people up? I'm not just sure what can...
Great inside again! The sooner we understand that it’s not about us but always about the narc (himself/herself) the better…. It’s a disorder. A tough lesson …
This is a belter Paula. People are only real when they are in the company of the Narcissist. The Baby only exists when they are playing mummy. During the devaluation period ( Which in my case came after she had already discarded me in her mind) you and the children become less and less relevant, and the Narcissists contempt for your feelings and the kids becomes more and more overt. "I HAVE MY OWN LIFE TO LEAD"!!!! followed by a door slamming session is an abiding memory. Remarkable how quick that face and mood changed on the other side of the door to one so charming, and God help you if she comes home and you and the kids have done something fun and exciting in her absence. Then she is the victim, feeling hurt, claiming you and the kids enjoyed yourselves in her absence on purpose!🙃😂Then it's walking on eggshells for a week and grovelling apologies. As we say in Scotland "Yeh cannie win"! Great video, Thanks.
Mine didn't walk away. I dumped her so fast and caught her off-guard. She went on the offensives. Lost everything under the sun except my dear life. I have started my new life in another country. Happy, thriving & fit.
@@NarcCon It was difficult. I thought there was something wrong with me, but I’m guessing that a lot of people in this community had horrible experiences too.
Thank you for this excellent explanation of the conditional regard of the narcissist -and the shifting regard that can change from as you said, day to day, even hour to hour. I once said to him I had to walk a "fine line" with him in our relationship and he said he didn't know what I was talking about! Is this possible? It's amazing how little insight they have into their own emotional dysfunction.
Thank you Paula, for sharing your knowledge in a kind sincere way. I'm starting to feel a bit better but feel like a yo yo. Up one day down the next. Everything you talk about feels like you're describing my exact relationship. The discard with enough closure to keep him happy, took place almost 3 months ago. I'm still scratching my head how he could do it after pouring into me heavily for the entire first year. It was very complicated being that he was still married. Seperated. But I couldn't understand why he would never ask for a divorce. A therapist I was seeing said you weren't a relationship. Just an affair. Omg. What a slap in the face. Thanks to your videos Paula, things are beginning to make sense. Well, it will never make sense but I know where I stand now and what has to be done. Thank you.
What you are describing is object permanence…object constancy is the ability to see a whole person…good and bad…and still love them. Related to splitting.
I’m convinced that they know this out the gate. They may not have a name for it, but they know they lack loyalty. They know they plan to replace you with a more interesting toy at a moment’s notice. The ex repeatedly made it seem like FW was going to die young, so he needed my “independence” and resourcefulness for “his” children. It’s all so laughable now, but I knew something was off back then. His karma will be greatly distressing to him. He’s got a lot of failed monkey jumps and people he’s stabbed in the back over the years. I’m actually glad to be unhitched from his consequences though I have a lot of rebuilding to do. Thanks for this thoughtful content.
GREAT VIDEO PAULA, WELL DONE. 2 Years Out of what became a Toxic Situation with my Ex Toxic Covert Narc Girlfriend. Ran into 3 times now. All 3 times when words came out of her mouth I realized after 15 years of always being there for her. She did not give a SHIT about me, at all. Its all about there survival no matter what you do for them. Say NO to them and you will be Gone and there onto someone who will say YES. Until, they no longer need that Supply. It is HURTFUL and you can't believe this Creature changed on us so badly because we thought we knew them because of there Future Faking BS. We were Hoodwinked and a Strong Lesson learned. Thank You to GOD and the HOLY SPIRIT for getting Me, out of there.
Another amazing video. Lost ALMOST everything. Just sorry I got my mom involved and now his son has to pay. Put in my entire salary into the household expenses for him and his 2 foster kids. Left me and his own son behind for a rich cousin he met. Last 7 months has not given me 5 cent support. He phoned me yesterday at work and said he wanted to see his son. I did not allow this .....this was the first time in 3 months he even enquired about his son. He should just leave us alone. I will make ends meet somehow
I saw this first hand with two narcissists in my family.. my mother had treated them as the golden ones and gave them money all the time... while at hospice during her last months of life these golden ones no longer visited her and I believe this is when she finally woke up and saw who really cared about her. It sure was clear to me. I was sad but had started to wake up and observe recently before this time and everything about these people finally made sense. It is heart breaking and horrific however to see behind the mask and see the utter ugliness and vapid souless creatures from hell that are really there.
I had a friend that I now believe is narcissistic. I believe she discarded people because she got bored or because they were no longer new and shiny and fun. She told me that she broke up with boyfriends when they got too serious,
Could be?, could be her attachment style (avoident, anxious) maybe she doesn't want anything serious (she could be lying they could be dumping her and she's trying to save face) either way narcissists shake your foundation (and not in a good way) they're not good as friends either (sly foxes)🕊🩷🕊
Brilliant video Paula, so well explained. I tried to set a personal boundary with my ex Narc and he told me the last thing he wanted was an argument. We were planning to go for a meal. He said "let's give it a miss". This in fact was my 2nd and final discard, after numerous mini discards and silent treatment. As you say, it is insane. I still to this day(15 months on) find it difficult to comprehend this behaviour. Enjoy Manhattan. x
The POS I just got away from.. constantly talked about how they wished they did not do so much wrong in past, you know, using women, prostitutes, his son (no wonder his son has the police record he has) but... never changed. So very easy and like a baby to moan the past, for YOU CANNOT CHANGE IT. I would like humans like me from now on... that work on FUTURE!!!!!! Thank you PAULA!
I remember I texted somebody who had upset my ex, I told this person they were out of order and needed to apologise to her. My ex went mad at me saying id made things worse and shouldn't have got involved. It was only when her friends saw the text and explained to her that I was being protective and trying to support her did she see that side of it and agreed with them. Without their input I would have been wrong again as usual. She struggled to understand human decency, gratitude or loyalty as far as I could see, or more likely when it came to showing me any.
They seem really näive because they don't understand normal human interactions. It's all just a video game to them, and the rest of us are just artificial game characters.
Thankyou Paula for all you do this information is so helpful in my life… the red flags were there, my gut was questioning from the beginning, unfortunately I still carried on allowing myself to be in the relationship, these evil people are just so charming when you first meet them, they work on us very quickly He is married 3rd time 7 children which he lied about obviously He’s still married which I find hard to believe because he cheats all the time so I’m told, do their wives know I wonder? Can’t be a good way to live just glad I ended it, he still tried to contact me blocked & no contact again I’d say dodged a bullet!
I think the narcissist have avoidant attachment. Avoidants love bomb just like narcs. If we already have anxious attachment, we are triggered by avoidants. To me it seems like we are both children. We are reaching out to love them and they are pushing us away.
I think understanding narcissism is super healthy but as a codependent the work on myself is extremely difficult. I enjoy the 12 step coda. I think we need more resources in understanding the addiction of so called victims.
That explains it well, Paula. Whatever is most useful to the narcissist is the formula, in their disordered brain. I never understood why the ex-narcissist would forgive someone that really wronged him. The answer - that person became useful again, in the eyes of the narcissist, and the past wrong was irrelevant.
And taking it a step further, I thought that forgiveness was an admirable attribute of the ex-narcissist and considered how I might become a more forgiving person.
This is what has happened to me in my 25 year marriage to my ex husband. I recently divorced August 2024. I realize that he is a narcissist. I did not know about narcissism until my 25th year of marriage and watching videos on UA-cam. I notice exactly what you said he just didn’t care about what I’ve done for him all these years, he just moves on day-to-day like the marriage never existed or I existed. This video has opened my eyes and i understand a bit more because I kept saying he just doesn’t care. I realize he’s a covert, narcissist. The reason why we divorce is because he had been doing porn for 42 years and his deceit with other things and as much as I helped him with his mental illness which I believe came along with him watching porn all those years. He led me to believe he was one way, and in actual fact his mask came off And I saw the true him after all what I’ve done. I made my mind up to just get a divorce the minute his mask him off. I found him to be very uncaring and cold. I see him and crossing sometimes even though I’ve chose not to go no contact with him. He just crosses me as if I was never there so I treat him the same way.
Paula, All the way from Rhode Island. Just wanted to say Another GREAT Video packed with the Truth and the Knowledge that you bring to the NARC Table. Hope you have Good Summer. DAVID, RI
Covert vounerable narcistist do it. Sometimes you don't even know what happend? After years marriage with small to no reason they just tell you " I don't need you anymore for anything and have enough controlling you and leaving in fear" And that literally all you hear from them .They disappear God know where with no contact. Just after few years sutch situation you realise, that this " niceness modesty gentle soul " it was in fact passive aggressiveness negativity hypersensitivity lack of empathy.
That what literally happend to me , and the person I was with was nicest in world. There was " no scratch on her" ...That is why because I was only faulty human being I wasn't matching level her perfection , so deserved disdain& ignorance and was left feeling guilty
I had an ex comeback after 7 months. She wanted to work things out, I received a discard 12 hours later because I said " You played a part in the breakup too" let's move forward. She literally ghosted me. On my part No mental abuse, no physical abuse, nothing... All I did was stand up to her. She said she's diagnosed aspd but I still think she's garden variety NPD. Who begs an ex back after a 7 month ghost. Then dumps them 12 hours later?
Throughout my life , I protected her from herself, Making enemies of neighbours and families. But she sees me as the enemy for obstructing. And she turned my life into living hell.
Wow!!! The object constancy finally explains his lack of ability to compare situations when they where very alike. It’s like his brain would reset and nothing made him realize that we’d been in a similar situation before. Every argument felt like a copy/paste situation. Some of it might also have been to avoid accountability and ofc Darvo, but I suspect a lot of it has to do with his inability to understand similarities
Things have to be really “extra” with them for them to understand. Everything really is black or white with them. Anything gray will definitely go over their heads.
You can understand and respect them but it’s your own right to move away because your happiness having other value. Just done and having more peace. Not being angry because that is the negative energy those persons are looking for! See it as a lesson and take that experience with you so next time maybe we are lucky to find the right person to be happy with and having relaxing times and respect is coming from both sides. Nobody is perfect but love can bring a lot of peace
“No man chooses evil because it is evil; he only mistakes it for happiness, the good he seeks.” ― Mary Shelley 1. They charm you to get what they can from you. 2. Most of whatever words come out of their minds or mouth are nothing more but lies, lies, and more lies. 3. They are highly competitive and they are primarily out for themselves. 4. They put up a front making them feel like sincere loving, kind individuals. 5. They take whatever they can try to fool you into giving to them... whatever they see of value. 6. Most of their inspiration comes from narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths. 7. They will stop at nothing to get what they want out of life... More... whatever that is. 8. Every time that you encounter one you always feel drained, because they don't know what it is to give... it's because they are manifesting sucking the living life out of you literally. 9. Their triangulation methods are off the charts, they use certain key phrases that they discuss around their flying monkeys, so that when you go around them, if they repeat certain words or phrases that you've said to them... it's an indication that they've been talking about you. 10. They turn everyone that they know against you, and the people that they know... follow them blindly and believe every single one of their deceitful gaslighting words. 11. The best way to deal with one is to stay away from them, they only get worst over time... Avoid them and anyone that they know at all costs.
The only way i can describe it is a very immature and primitive structure in their thoughts and ‘morals’ not that they have any. They have no morals, respect, no inner strength, faith in themselves, cant see the bigger picture only see whats right infront of them, cant compromise, will manipulate a situation in order to get what they want even if it means slamming someone they love to the ground. It really is an eye opener to watch. I just kicked back and watched my ex make a fool of herself and in her mind she was making a fool of me lmao. Just remain silent and watch them, they snitch on themselves
Over a month ago, we were watching a movie and then suddenly she gets up in a hissy fit. She proceeded to leave and I was walking on eggshells not wanting to be targeted for her mood. But it was contrived. She had stolen my iPhone, my bluetooth speaker, my passport, my alcohol, money and a slew of other items she had jettisoned into her large bag. She had wanted the lights out while we watched the movie. She never came back and that's after a 3 year relationship. Just suddenly she was gone and decided to rob me. I bumped into her about a week ago on the street and tried to talk with her (I already retreated mentally from my position of wanting to beat her or have her arrested), but she pushed by me in silence without a word.
What we do for someone should never be used as a way to keep them indebted to us. Thats how manipulators themselves work. Give freely and without any expectations. If not, you are not giving, but doing covert business.
Narcs are broken children... that makes me very very sad. One of the traits of my ex wife wen i meet her, was that she decided one saturday come with my friends and I strolling through city downtown(she lived there but we were going 2 km or 3 away) .She asked me- But you are accompaning me, taking me back home(was evening and getting dark) - to what i answered Yes, dont worry. A moment pased awau as we walked n cha tting our hobbies like 3 minutes and she asked again the same. I told her Yes, yes no problem, i m always walking. This suddenly turn an intermitent nagging like 5 or 8 times, each block we get away from her home. Until I told her - No, you can return on your own- she turned pale and her eyes Blaked out in surprise, to what i told her -Im just joking, dont worry!- . That always seem very strange of her, but i let it slide. Now each info i get i know she was an abussed baby, child, kid. So sad. Its not making me more mad about her doings, i know now she is an ill person. May God help her and deliver her from being evil whit others. Thanks for this info. Much obbligged! Cheers!
It has now happening to me 38 years married -like a phased nuclear explosion -Memories- so complicated- what’s the point of living- disaster- cruelty- investment lost just like that???
When she wouldn’t give access to her phone ,, I said later ,,,, I’m to old for the games and the drama ,,, they know what they are doing ,, and they say catch me if yu can … and when tu do ,, yu have to have all holes plugged. … and stand back and watch them .. then they show themselves 14:10
My ex went from loving me for 3 1/2 years like I’m god on Earth to drop me like a hot stone in as little as 2 weeks then she went Stonewall on me. Thank fuck, she’s not in my life anymore. Toxic Demon. I saw her with the new supply about a month ago all loved up , when she saw me her face and jaw dropped. It was priceless 😅😂🤣😃 she thought she put me on the shelf and you can pick me whenever while she’s trying to groom the new supply, but I know better now I went no contact completely. And I hadn’t even think about an hour or any of the horrors that we lived through that toxic relationship.
Hmmm 14 years, might as well just gone out the back and talked to a tree...probably would have got more out of that than the incredible backward world I was living in .
they’re beggars. ‘Narc con’ from the beginning. So they can walk away. And any emotional bond (if there was any) goes aside. Their agenda of maximum power comes 1st.
Makes total sence…. His Wife Plops up again and again….. she is the mother of his sons and This gives her the might to take him over whenever she needs somthing…. No matter what she did to me(i was his girlfriend for 4,5 years and Strange things happens , she was allways „with us-triangulstion) she was forgiven and He gives her what she demandes! What i did , Didn t Count…. Was not Seen!!! And you are Right when you say, when They like to See you in a way it’s needed They do it, to justifiy their behave. F.e. „: He told me i forced him into the Relation.😀What??? He came along needed help, then He discarded me and Then He Wrote a Letter begging for a Chance to Come back, Telling He will change…. He didnt change…….and in the end it Fits that i pressed him to a Relation!!! You See? This Kind of PeopleStuck in This Stage of Development and they are like Pippi langstrumpf… they make their World as They like… and as They need!!!! They stay childish in a unhealty way… But They like it… so you can Play the Game or leave….. Really no objectconstancy!
The Narcissist has an attachment disorder so they don't make the kind of genuine connections in relationships that we make. No matter how much it seemed real, they were pretending to be close to you. They were only mirroring us. Therefore without a "real" connection to begin with, it is easy for them to walk away. In fact, they know from the very beginning that they have no interest in being with us in the long run. And if they do, they are only there for the supply. When that runs out, watch them disappear or even ghost you.
So terrible how THEY DO...
Spot on !
Well said and they also plan it by having dismissive defiant disorder so they plan it as an reverse discard...They don't want you to see they have flaws too...They want to play the victim..
It's so sick !!!!
My mother was a NPD and was always in my life. It was her way or the highway!
I saw the abandoned, damaged child in the narcissist, but he was a man. He "knew" that I would leave him. I came from an in-tact family and did not get married to be divorced. I found myself, uncharacteristically, reassuring him that I would never leave him. Well, when I finally realized that there was a core problem with the marriage, I left him and fulfilled his expectation. Self-fulfilling prophecy, I'd say.
My covert narc made a play for every attractive female he saw and he did it right in front of me. It hurt but because he was fairly subtle about his flirting, I wrote it off as him just being his charming self.
I am happily relationship free and will never have to deal with another narc again.
They do it with ease and a smile on their face.
That's my current employer. Blech
Yess
If the narcissist walks away, and stays away from you, this is something you should be grateful for. This is a good thing, regardless of what you have done for them in the past. Don't try to figure them out, based on some understanding of how normal, healthy people behave. Cut your losses. Stay away from them.
I have done just that. after I divorce August 2024 I decided to go no contact blocked him deleted him out my phone
@GeraldineDoCouto my divorce was finalised last December. Relief
Thank you Paula for a great video ! Narcs do eventually get their karma , and by then we don’t care ! It takes time , with no contact , severence from our addiction to them , the education , moving on to new experiences and new people , we see that it is indeed a spiritual lesson that was much needed in our life . And it is never too late ! 70 years old here and finally finding true freedom , serenity and peace of mind , it is a soul journey . Don’t be afraid , you all can do it .
it hurts. now that i am on the other side of it, dont know how to cope or move on.
❤️❤️❤️❤️👍🏽🦋🌿
56 years old, happy as can be just by myself and my dogs.
I've had more than one disfunctional relationship in my life and thanks to UA-camrs like you, I finally figured it out, got over the hurt and started to claim my life.
After the obsessive phase, you will be disgusted, what person you were in love with.
Very well said. I'm the same. 54 and have my dogs. Can't believe I was ever with him now. Take good care of you ❤
I also am 56 and have my dogs and cats! Love their love and loyalty
@caligirl9403 yes my mother is a narcissist as well. They are a nightmare.
SAME!!!!!
@caligirl9403 WHO doesn't???!
Have to remind myself of this often Paula, they DON'T THINK LIKE WE DO, only way to look at it is that they are SICK, EXTREMELY DAMAGED INDIVIDUALS, just leave them to it.
They are demons, it’s spiritual warfare with our souls. I kept attracting the same type of men until I found out what this behavior really is. It’s frightening.
They project their inadequacies and misery onto us. If you’re sleeping with them they can transfer their unclean spirits and mysterious illnesses that are attached to them.
It’s creepy once you are awakened with education and knowledge of these demonic soulless vessels. You’ll have the ability to spot the toxicity in anyone in a instant.
Damaged indeed, you have to leave them, they'll drag you under (and make you a part of their human hurricane) there's no real winners in narcissistic abuse (there's just awareness) 🤗🩷🤗
When you look back you realise how actually addicted to the narc you were be kind to yourself it is very hard to go through
This totally happened to me, my retrospect of what happened has been painful but I now understand what or should I say who I was dealing with, my narc has a coven of narcs that he lives amongst and I had no idea that I was walking amongst them! It’s been a hard road but I’m getting there day by day, thanks to videos such as this one. Some resonate more, this is one of them. The covert narcissist I was involved with was so subtle and covert that it was almost, almost impossible to figure him out, but I did!
SAME
My Narcissistic ex is sterile. She was 37 when we married and she didn't tell me. I was devastated when she finally told me her condition but kept supporting her and agreed to adopt frozen eggs to make a family. I thought that such a costly and difficult process meant that we were born to be together and give life an opportunity. Don't regret it 'cos we have three wonderful kids, but what a dark and empty soul she is.
Being age 37 should have been a clue that she couldn't have children. A woman isn't likely to get pregnant at that age, and there's an extremely high probability of birth defects if she actually manages to get pregnant.
This here is information that is so helpful in understanding how easy it is for a narcissist to leave and discard after decades of unconditional love
It’s very sad indeed. I’m so glad for these videos and comments like yours. It’s easy to think we are the only ones.
I always struggle with the fact mine threw 22 years away and even can’t really be bothered with our children. I did enable him, felt sorry for him, but not anymore.
This information and open my eyes even more. Great video.
This video has given me more prospective on a lot of things. Crazy.....22 YEARS and 6 kids later. 10 months into a separation. I've had my eyes opened in an unbelievable way. Crazy.
So wild that they treat us like an etch a sketch toy. I was married 18 years and nothing mattered. 10 years with former boyfriend. He discarded me and erased the etch a sketch. Walking mental health patients like you like to say. I know my ex Narc boyfriend knows I know who he is. My ex husband I don’t think so. No Contact with both of them. For me over a year of healing from the ex boyfriend . You get stronger every day. You see the world differently now. You recognize NPD and people with high Narcissistic traits. It still blows me away they are all the same robotic Narc Speak. Survivors get out of Narcdom and never look back. God bless.
This blue color is amazing for you! ❤
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You explained Object constancy very well. It helps to understand why they can just pick up and move on without compunction. Which also brings to light the inevitable harm that comes from being in relationship with them.
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Was married to the lunatic for 23 yrs together for 25 yrs, it wasn't a marriage his narc mummy was his priority, nothing and no one came before her, she was an evil manipulative, narc their relationship wasn't your normal son/mum relationship it was sick like they were married, he ran off 9 yrs ago and remarried, my son and a few people have told me that he looks like the cats dinner, I still have cptsd from their abuse, he destroyed my kids and i financially too, I could go on and on, I am glad he left, I finally have peace in my life.
So grateful to have found your channel. My husband of 12 years brutally discarded me May 13, one day prior to Mothers Day (I'm a Bereaved Mother), he planned that😈 I had very little understanding of the abuse I've been through. The future faking, the hot then cold. He monkey branched to the secretary from his work. So disturbing
🌹🌸..keep the faith it gets better
At the end when the mask fell she literally told me that "There is no past, there's only now and the future". I was thinking "WTF!?" . "WTF does that mean!?" It's diabolical. It's just their way of keeping you working for them, keeping you on their 'hamster wheel'. It serves them, but it doesn't serve you. It's like 'maybe you did all this stuff for me for years, and years, and years, but what have you done for me lately?'.
"Ummmm everything?"
"Not good enough."
Get out people- run away as fast as you can! Or live your life as damned as they are. You deserve better. Satan doesn't appear with horns and pitchfork, he appears with a nod, a wink, and smile, and most specifically with a dangling carrot. Don't be an 'ass' and fall for it. You may get to nibble on that carrot once in a while, but you'll never be satiated. Just as they never will be in life. This is their reality- it doesn't have to be yours. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. There's a billion people out there that'll treat you better. That don't spend their lives attempting to manipulate everyone and everything to their own advantage- they are DAMNED. Just get out of their way. Let them go live their distorted reality. And yes- they live their karma every second of everyday. It's why they can never be happy, never feel satiated. Always seeking the 'next best thing'. Revenge is a dish best served cold- that means you walk away- and CUT them out of your life like your excising a tumor. Because that's what they are. They are cancer, they are a parasite, they are a succubus or inversely an incubus. They want you to join them in hell. NO THANKS!!!
The devil shows up at your door wearing blue jeans.
Great message I hope those early on the path listen good, because everything you say is truth. Best wishes for a wonderful new life!
@@elliewegman1846 brainwashing is a real thing. It doesn't happen overnight nor instantaneously. It occurs INSIDIOUSLY. Remain guarded my friends. DON'T NEGATE RED FLAGS!!!! If it feels too good to be true THAT'S CAUSE IT IS!!! And it's by design. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. Yes there is evil in this world. Just be cautious brothers and sisters. If you have to stand on your head for someone- run away- they don't value you.
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@@rhododendrons_509 she discarded me after we had serious financial difficulties. A few weeks later I wrote her about all the things I did for her wellbeing and she just to me... I have a plan to go on, where's yours.
My father taught me from an early age to never get emotionally attached to people. Always stand in your own. If people come into your life keep them at a distance. And expect nothing from them. Whatever you give don't expect anything in return
They are not invested genuinely in the beginning. It was hard pill to swallow after giving everything for 26 years and 3 children too. But now it makes sense.
They can leave you with a fear of getting involved again.
The irony is the most important aspect of a relationship to me is loyalty 😅
Few people see this obvious truth. No relationship can survive betrayal. Can we even call it a relationship at that point? There is nothing more important than loyalty.
You give a million they look for two.👍👍
Three years out of the relationship, researching narcissism doggedly, I didn’t think I could learn any more; but you gave me an “ah-ha” moment with this. Thank you so much!
there is so much to discover about the Narc, the gift that keeps on giving
It makes sense why my narcissistic sister did what she did!!! I’m glad she discarded me once I held her accountable for her actions!! I’m free and doing great
Mine went back to his childhood sweetheart for a second emotional affair. They are both Narcissistic and she’s already been through 4 marriages. These individuals are also extremely naive, they can’t see the toxicity of others who are like them.
Cruel! Cruel! Thank you x
Insane decision making is an understatement!!!
Insane is right. So difficult for normal thinking people to deal with !!!!
Your content I always find is accurate, at least in my experiences and making sense of it, I find I'm struggling with how, as a society, we let it go. Perhaps that is my helplessness talking. Having good days and bad days, even on my worst day, I do not want it back in my life. 6 months ago, my 40 year old son said to me, "Mum, if you let Ray come back, he will, I replied no company is better than that. I still know this fact.
After I gave birth to our first daughter - The narc's mother told him to demand that I have a blood test to determine that our daughter was in fact his own child. He requested this from me and as well told me that he wasn't present in my life because he was in love with me...He said that he was only present because he was in love with our child. If 'that' doesn't wake people up? I'm not just sure what can...
Great inside again! The sooner we understand that it’s not about us but always about the narc (himself/herself) the better…. It’s a disorder. A tough lesson …
You are one if not “the” best insightful teacher about narcissism on utube. Can’t wait to see all of your new videos. So in depth. Thank you!
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This is a belter Paula. People are only real when they are in the company of the Narcissist. The Baby only exists when they are playing mummy. During the devaluation period ( Which in my case came after she had already discarded me in her mind) you and the children become less and less relevant, and the Narcissists contempt for your feelings and the kids becomes more and more overt. "I HAVE MY OWN LIFE TO LEAD"!!!! followed by a door slamming session is an abiding memory. Remarkable how quick that face and mood changed on the other side of the door to one so charming, and God help you if she comes home and you and the kids have done something fun and exciting in her absence. Then she is the victim, feeling hurt, claiming you and the kids enjoyed yourselves in her absence on purpose!🙃😂Then it's walking on eggshells for a week and grovelling apologies. As we say in Scotland "Yeh cannie win"! Great video, Thanks.
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Mine didn't walk away. I dumped her so fast and caught her off-guard. She went on the offensives. Lost everything under the sun except my dear life. I have started my new life in another country. Happy, thriving & fit.
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My mother was diagnosed as borderline and she didn’t have object constancy either. Even when I was small, she always saw me as all good or all bad.
Wow Lori that must have been difficult to navigate as a child especially
@@NarcCon It was difficult. I thought there was something wrong with me, but I’m guessing that a lot of people in this community had horrible experiences too.
Thank you for this excellent explanation of the conditional regard of the narcissist -and the shifting regard that can change from as you said, day to day, even hour to hour. I once said to him I had to walk a "fine line" with him in our relationship and he said he didn't know what I was talking about! Is this possible? It's amazing how little insight they have into their own emotional dysfunction.
Thank you Paula, for sharing your knowledge in a kind sincere way. I'm starting to feel a bit better but feel like a yo yo. Up one day down the next.
Everything you talk about feels like you're describing my exact relationship. The discard with enough closure to keep him happy, took place almost 3 months ago. I'm still scratching my head how he could do it after pouring into me heavily for the entire first year. It was very complicated being that he was still married. Seperated. But I couldn't understand why he would never ask for a divorce. A therapist I was seeing said you weren't a relationship. Just an affair. Omg. What a slap in the face.
Thanks to your videos Paula, things are beginning to make sense. Well, it will never make sense but I know where I stand now and what has to be done. Thank you.
What you are describing is object permanence…object constancy is the ability to see a whole person…good and bad…and still love them. Related to splitting.
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Object constancy is that things tend to remain constant over time
Nothing to forgive. I didn’t do anything to her. She walked out, she’s done. No way back for her.
I’m convinced that they know this out the gate. They may not have a name for it, but they know they lack loyalty. They know they plan to replace you with a more interesting toy at a moment’s notice. The ex repeatedly made it seem like FW was going to die young, so he needed my “independence” and resourcefulness for “his” children. It’s all so laughable now, but I knew something was off back then.
His karma will be greatly distressing to him. He’s got a lot of failed monkey jumps and people he’s stabbed in the back over the years. I’m actually glad to be unhitched from his consequences though I have a lot of rebuilding to do.
Thanks for this thoughtful content.
Hard pill to swallow....
GREAT VIDEO PAULA, WELL DONE. 2 Years Out of what became a Toxic Situation with my Ex Toxic Covert Narc Girlfriend. Ran into 3 times now. All 3 times when words came out of her mouth I realized after 15 years of always being there for her.
She did not give a SHIT about me, at all. Its all about there survival no matter what you do for them. Say NO to them and you will be Gone and there onto someone who will say YES. Until, they no longer need that Supply.
It is HURTFUL and you can't believe this Creature changed on us so badly because we thought we knew them because of there Future Faking BS. We were Hoodwinked and a Strong Lesson learned. Thank You to GOD and the HOLY SPIRIT for getting Me, out of there.
Thank you Paula object that is what I was objekt nothing but object….
Wow❤ thank you !
All the years of wondering what is happening, can i do better, not getting this is a monster
6 years `knowing her` and 13 years `married`. Thank you for the enlightenment
Another amazing video. Lost ALMOST everything. Just sorry I got my mom involved and now his son has to pay. Put in my entire salary into the household expenses for him and his 2 foster kids. Left me and his own son behind for a rich cousin he met. Last 7 months has not given me 5 cent support. He phoned me yesterday at work and said he wanted to see his son. I did not allow this .....this was the first time in 3 months he even enquired about his son. He should just leave us alone. I will make ends meet somehow
I saw this first hand with two narcissists in my family.. my mother had treated them as the golden ones and gave them money all the time... while at hospice during her last months of life these golden ones no longer visited her and I believe this is when she finally woke up and saw who really cared about her. It sure was clear to me. I was sad but had started to wake up and observe recently before this time and everything about these people finally made sense. It is heart breaking and horrific however to see behind the mask and see the utter ugliness and vapid souless creatures from hell that are really there.
I had a friend that I now believe is narcissistic. I believe she discarded people because she got bored or because they were no longer new and shiny and fun. She told me that she broke up with boyfriends when they got too serious,
This is probably what happened to me last Friday. So you go .. and they add insult to injury saying if you need a friend call me.
Could be?, could be her attachment style (avoident, anxious) maybe she doesn't want anything serious (she could be lying they could be dumping her and she's trying to save face) either way narcissists shake your foundation (and not in a good way) they're not good as friends either (sly foxes)🕊🩷🕊
That just means they dumped her when she got too clingy! Sounds like she was projecting.
@@Bella-Luna777 that's what I was thinking (they'll do/say anything to save face and protect their ego)
Brilliant video Paula, so well explained. I tried to set a personal boundary with my ex Narc and he told me the last thing he wanted was an argument. We were planning to go for a meal. He said "let's give it a miss". This in fact was my 2nd and final discard, after numerous mini discards and silent treatment. As you say, it is insane. I still to this day(15 months on) find it difficult to comprehend this behaviour. Enjoy Manhattan. x
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Are you a magician or a mind reader? This is exactly to the tee my life story with my ex wife! You are too good..
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The POS I just got away from.. constantly talked about how they wished they did not do so much wrong in past, you know, using women, prostitutes, his son (no wonder his son has the police record he has) but... never changed. So very easy and like a baby to moan the past, for YOU CANNOT CHANGE IT.
I would like humans like me from now on... that work on FUTURE!!!!!!
Thank you PAULA!
I remember I texted somebody who had upset my ex, I told this person they were out of order and needed to apologise to her. My ex went mad at me saying id made things worse and shouldn't have got involved. It was only when her friends saw the text and explained to her that I was being protective and trying to support her did she see that side of it and agreed with them. Without their input I would have been wrong again as usual. She struggled to understand human decency, gratitude or loyalty as far as I could see, or more likely when it came to showing me any.
They seem really näive because they don't understand normal human interactions. It's all just a video game to them, and the rest of us are just artificial game characters.
@HealthWyze that's an excellent way of putting it, we are just characters. 👌
Wow… never thought of that, like peek a boo …makes so much sense!
Thankyou Paula for all you do this information is so helpful in my life… the red flags were there, my gut was questioning from the beginning, unfortunately I still carried on allowing myself to be in the relationship, these evil people are just so charming when you first meet them, they work on us very quickly
He is married 3rd time 7 children which he lied about obviously
He’s still married which I find hard to believe because he cheats all the time so I’m told, do their wives know I wonder? Can’t be a good way to live just glad I ended it, he still tried to contact me blocked & no contact again I’d say dodged a bullet!
Big bullet
This video resonates with me totally
I think the narcissist have avoidant attachment. Avoidants love bomb just like narcs. If we already have anxious attachment, we are triggered by avoidants. To me it seems like we are both children. We are reaching out to love them and they are pushing us away.
I found out about my ex's Narcissism because I thought he had an anxious - avoidant attachment style. I think there's definitely a correlation.
I think understanding narcissism is super healthy but as a codependent the work on myself is extremely difficult. I enjoy the 12 step coda. I think we need more resources in understanding the addiction of so called victims.
Thank you 🙏 love from Albuquerque shared.
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That explains it well, Paula. Whatever is most useful to the narcissist is the formula, in their disordered brain.
I never understood why the ex-narcissist would forgive someone that really wronged him. The answer - that person became useful again, in the eyes of the narcissist, and the past wrong was irrelevant.
Great 🎉you Spot it… no matter what someone does if They are usefull They are forgiven!!!! 👍
And taking it a step further, I thought that forgiveness was an admirable attribute of the ex-narcissist and considered how I might become a more forgiving person.
You just gave me a aha moment 🤔
I know its insane @tathe3786
This is what has happened to me in my 25 year marriage to my ex husband. I recently divorced August 2024. I realize that he is a narcissist. I did not know about narcissism until my 25th year of marriage and watching videos on UA-cam. I notice exactly what you said he just didn’t care about what I’ve done for him all these years, he just moves on day-to-day like the marriage never existed or I existed. This video has opened my eyes and i understand a bit more because I kept saying he just doesn’t care. I realize he’s a covert, narcissist. The reason why we divorce is because he had been doing porn for 42 years and his deceit with other things and as much as I helped him with his mental illness which I believe came along with him watching porn all those years. He led me to believe he was one way, and in actual fact his mask came off And I saw the true him after all what I’ve done. I made my mind up to just get a divorce the minute his mask him off. I found him to be very uncaring and cold. I see him and crossing sometimes even though I’ve chose not to go no contact with him. He just crosses me as if I was never there so I treat him the same way.
Paula,
All the way from Rhode Island. Just wanted to say Another GREAT Video packed with the Truth and the Knowledge that you bring to the NARC Table. Hope you have Good Summer.
DAVID, RI
Thank you David, you too
Your hair looks lovely thanks for the video
Thank you! 😊
Thank you! 😊
Very accurate!👍
Thnx a
lot!
I walked…❤
Covert vounerable narcistist do it. Sometimes you don't even know what happend? After years marriage with small to no reason they just tell you " I don't need you anymore for anything and have enough controlling you and leaving in fear" And that literally all you hear from them .They disappear God know where with no contact. Just after few years sutch situation you realise, that this " niceness modesty gentle soul " it was in fact passive aggressiveness negativity hypersensitivity lack of empathy.
That what literally happend to me , and the person I was with was nicest in world. There was " no scratch on her" ...That is why because I was only faulty human being I wasn't matching level her perfection , so deserved disdain& ignorance and was left feeling guilty
Thank you Paula, another wonderful video.
I had an ex comeback after 7 months. She wanted to work things out, I received a discard 12 hours later because I said " You played a part in the breakup too" let's move forward.
She literally ghosted me. On my part No mental abuse, no physical abuse, nothing... All I did was stand up to her. She said she's diagnosed aspd but I still think she's garden variety NPD.
Who begs an ex back after a 7 month ghost. Then dumps them 12 hours later?
Thank you Pola. It has been very helpful for me.
Throughout my life , I protected her from herself,
Making enemies of neighbours and families.
But she sees me as the enemy for obstructing.
And she turned my life into living hell.
Wonderful you’re in Manhattan Paula! ❤
Hi Lisa hope all good with you 🙋♀️
@@NarcCon It is! I’ll be in touch soon!
Wow!!! The object constancy finally explains his lack of ability to compare situations when they where very alike. It’s like his brain would reset and nothing made him realize that we’d been in a similar situation before. Every argument felt like a copy/paste situation. Some of it might also have been to avoid accountability and ofc Darvo, but I suspect a lot of it has to do with his inability to understand similarities
Things have to be really “extra” with them for them to understand. Everything really is black or white with them. Anything gray will definitely go over their heads.
@@Bella-Luna777 yes the severity of the black and white thinking is insane 😳
You can understand and respect them but it’s your own right to move away because your happiness having other value. Just done and having more peace. Not being angry because that is the negative energy those persons are looking for! See it as a lesson and take that experience with you so next time maybe we are lucky to find the right person to be happy with and having relaxing times and respect is coming from both sides. Nobody is perfect but love can bring a lot of peace
“No man chooses evil because it is evil; he only mistakes it for happiness, the good he seeks.”
― Mary Shelley
1. They charm you to get what they can from you.
2. Most of whatever words come out of their minds or mouth are nothing more but lies, lies, and more lies.
3. They are highly competitive and they are primarily out for themselves.
4. They put up a front making them feel like sincere loving, kind individuals.
5. They take whatever they can try to fool you into giving to them... whatever they see of value.
6. Most of their inspiration comes from narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths.
7. They will stop at nothing to get what they want out of life... More... whatever that is.
8. Every time that you encounter one you always feel drained, because they don't know what it is to give... it's because they are manifesting sucking the living life out of you literally.
9. Their triangulation methods are off the charts, they use certain key phrases that they discuss around their flying monkeys, so that when you go around them, if they repeat certain words or phrases that you've said to them... it's an indication that they've been talking about you.
10. They turn everyone that they know against you, and the people that they know... follow them blindly and believe every single one of their deceitful gaslighting words.
11. The best way to deal with one is to stay away from them, they only get worst over time... Avoid them and anyone that they know at all costs.
super stuff God Bless You !
Fantastic list! Thanks for posting.
The biggest thing I sacrificed….. my self respect… but at least I still have mine!
Paula.. could you address the breaking the generational curse.. what exactly is that about? Thank you ❤ your awesome 🤩
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Yes please, would like that
The only way i can describe it is a very immature and primitive structure in their thoughts and ‘morals’ not that they have any.
They have no morals, respect, no inner strength, faith in themselves, cant see the bigger picture only see whats right infront of them, cant compromise, will manipulate a situation in order to get what they want even if it means slamming someone they love to the ground. It really is an eye opener to watch.
I just kicked back and watched my ex make a fool of herself and in her mind she was making a fool of me lmao. Just remain silent and watch them, they snitch on themselves
Welcome to NYC! 😁
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Over a month ago, we were watching a movie and then suddenly she gets up in a hissy fit. She proceeded to leave and I was walking on eggshells not wanting to be targeted for her mood. But it was contrived. She had stolen my iPhone, my bluetooth speaker, my passport, my alcohol, money and a slew of other items she had jettisoned into her large bag. She had wanted the lights out while we watched the movie. She never came back and that's after a 3 year relationship. Just suddenly she was gone and decided to rob me. I bumped into her about a week ago on the street and tried to talk with her (I already retreated mentally from my position of wanting to beat her or have her arrested), but she pushed by me in silence without a word.
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O w t f
What we do for someone should never be used as a way to keep them indebted to us. Thats how manipulators themselves work. Give freely and without any expectations. If not, you are not giving, but doing covert business.
@@jamesritchardson5771 It might sound like that to you. Thats okay.
You Paula, have helped so many. You certainly help me.
I send Love and Light from California
Peace🌎💞🧚♂️
Narcs are broken children... that makes me very very sad. One of the traits of my ex wife wen i meet her, was that she decided one saturday come with my friends and I strolling through city downtown(she lived there but we were going 2 km or 3 away) .She asked me- But you are accompaning me, taking me back home(was evening and getting dark) - to what i answered Yes, dont worry. A moment pased awau as we walked n cha
tting our hobbies like 3 minutes and she asked again the same. I told her Yes, yes no problem, i m always walking. This suddenly turn an intermitent nagging like 5 or 8 times, each block we get away from her home. Until I told her - No, you can return on your own- she turned pale and her eyes Blaked out in surprise, to what i told her -Im just joking, dont worry!- . That always seem very strange of her, but i let it slide. Now each info i get i know she was an abussed baby, child, kid. So sad. Its not making me more mad about her doings, i know now she is an ill person. May God help her and deliver her from being evil whit others. Thanks for this info. Much obbligged! Cheers!
It has now happening to me 38 years married -like a phased nuclear explosion -Memories- so complicated- what’s the point of living- disaster- cruelty- investment lost just like that???
When she wouldn’t give access to her phone ,, I said later ,,,, I’m to old for the games and the drama ,,, they know what they are doing ,, and they say catch me if yu can … and when tu do ,, yu have to have all holes plugged. … and stand back and watch them .. then they show themselves 14:10
They actually take a mental snapshot of you and that becomes the internal object that they interact with. That is object constancy in this case
you are more glam in manhattan x
🤓must be the energy here Emmaline x
My ex went from loving me for 3 1/2 years like I’m god on Earth to drop me like a hot stone in as little as 2 weeks then she went Stonewall on me. Thank fuck, she’s not in my life anymore. Toxic Demon. I saw her with the new supply about a month ago all loved up , when she saw me her face and jaw dropped. It was priceless 😅😂🤣😃 she thought she put me on the shelf and you can pick me whenever while she’s trying to groom the new supply, but I know better now I went no contact completely. And I hadn’t even think about an hour or any of the horrors that we lived through that toxic relationship.
Piaget….object permanence
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Better Off Without You.
Many thanks my name is Zara Williams trans women can you talk about psychopathic personality disorder and karma on him please?
Hmmm 14 years, might as well just gone out the back and talked to a tree...probably would have got more out of that than the incredible backward world I was living in .
I thought might have been more productive doing sign language with a gnat😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
they’re beggars. ‘Narc con’ from the beginning. So they can walk away. And any emotional bond (if there was any) goes aside. Their agenda of maximum power comes 1st.
He didn't walk away i did. Took me 40 years.
@@sophiyahsunflower7259 Mine walked away after 20 years of marriage after he figured out there is nothing left in me to be taken from💔
@@sophiyahsunflower7259 ❤️🙏🏼
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They are not “whole” people you guys. They don’t know how to love.
Makes total sence…. His Wife Plops up again and again….. she is the mother of his sons and This gives her the might to take him over whenever she needs somthing…. No matter what she did to me(i was his girlfriend for 4,5 years and Strange things happens , she was allways „with us-triangulstion) she was forgiven and He gives her what she demandes!
What i did , Didn t Count…. Was not Seen!!!
And you are Right when you say, when They like to See you in a way it’s needed They do it, to justifiy their behave. F.e. „: He told me i forced him into the Relation.😀What??? He came along needed help, then He discarded me and Then He Wrote a Letter
begging for a Chance to Come back, Telling He will change…. He didnt change…….and in the end it Fits that i pressed him to a Relation!!! You See?
This Kind of PeopleStuck in This Stage of Development and they are like Pippi langstrumpf… they make their World as They like… and as They need!!!!
They stay childish in a unhealty way… But They like it… so you can Play the Game or leave….. Really no objectconstancy!