Empress Theresa | Down the Rabbit Hole

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  • Опубліковано 29 кві 2017
  • On Amazon, an egotistical self-published author cannot let go of criticism against his book, and his anxiety spirals into obsession.
    Twitter: / fredintheknud
    Patreon: / fredrikknudsen

КОМЕНТАРІ • 7 тис.

  • @DickButtox
    @DickButtox 7 років тому +21593

    MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM YEEEEEEEEEEEEE DATS A SUM GOOD SHITTTTT KEEEEEEEP IT COMING DADDIO

  • @oliiivey
    @oliiivey 5 років тому +9479

    "Heroic Teenage Girl"
    " *happily married* "
    what

    • @BJGvideos
      @BJGvideos 5 років тому +284

      You can legally get married in the US at 17.

    • @avragetrinidadian3787
      @avragetrinidadian3787 5 років тому +838

      According to the wiki, she got married because "she could not wait to do it" with a guy who suddenly confessed he was in love with her...

    • @avragetrinidadian3787
      @avragetrinidadian3787 5 років тому +433

      This happens right after he comes in as she was about to make a guy she was not too interested in, jealous because he broke up with her and hooked back up with his ex.

    • @singrids4014
      @singrids4014 5 років тому +450

      @@avragetrinidadian3787
      Thank you for saving me the trouble of actually reading the book.

    • @avragetrinidadian3787
      @avragetrinidadian3787 5 років тому +331

      @@singrids4014 you better be, think I lost a few years off my life reading that wiki

  • @krampuskardashian5890
    @krampuskardashian5890 4 роки тому +5695

    I am convinced that Norman wants Theresa to step on him.

    • @afiamahmood1313
      @afiamahmood1313 4 роки тому +324

      He probably wants more than that....

    • @Texelion3Dprints
      @Texelion3Dprints 4 роки тому +473

      I am convinced that Norman dresses up as Theresa, acts as Theresa, and think he's Theresa...

    • @dltr4730
      @dltr4730 4 роки тому +223

      In the book there are very interesting descriptions of how the teenage girl looks, if u know what I mean

    • @p3bblez
      @p3bblez 4 роки тому +174

      considering that she's 'legally married' despite being only a teenager, i wonder _who_ she's married too. until i realized that person who she is married too could be Norman himself

    • @markvickroy6725
      @markvickroy6725 4 роки тому +5

      😂😂😂😂

  • @gspendlove
    @gspendlove 3 роки тому +7522

    "This is not a book to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force."
    _--Dorothy Parker_

    • @SariEverna
      @SariEverna 3 роки тому +281

      Preferably at its author.

    • @Ramsey276one
      @Ramsey276one 3 роки тому +49

      @@SariEverna or a powerful source of fire or other type of disintegration
      XD

    • @slevinchannel7589
      @slevinchannel7589 3 роки тому +25

      Wow.
      What B-S:
      Theresa really made herself, with her 18 Years old
      and Catholic Background, the Center of S-Jokes?
      While on Camera? With the biggest Audience ever?
      Wow.
      This Author is a Shame. A Shame just for tha alone.
      I have no kid-friendly ways to describe this Author for that
      Epic Fail alone.

    • @slevinchannel7589
      @slevinchannel7589 2 роки тому +3

      Now we have had much Fun
      studying something terribly bad (Queen Therista or whatever
      the name was),
      lets study something good;
      especially if you wanna become a Writer yourself!
      The so-called BEST Magic-System/Power-System in Fiction:
      'Nen' from 'HxH'!!

    • @Lucy666Fernandez
      @Lucy666Fernandez 2 роки тому +21

      @@slevinchannel7589 Somehow none of what you wrote makes any sense. What exactly is your point?

  • @saunders4419
    @saunders4419 3 роки тому +2137

    Lets assume for a moment that Norman told the truth when he claimed that he had rejected a hundred ideas only to keep the best. Can you imagine what batshit crazy stuff he had to have thought up if the Cokebottle Escape is the best one?

    • @Snazzy12341
      @Snazzy12341 3 роки тому +170

      Those other idea are likely good ideas, but Norman’s just a bad writer so he discarded it because he thought it was bad

    • @Ramsey276one
      @Ramsey276one 3 роки тому +18

      I had forgotten THAT
      I can understand why
      XD

    • @IamDarkeye
      @IamDarkeye 3 роки тому +16

      Sea turtles, mate

    • @slevinchannel7589
      @slevinchannel7589 2 роки тому +4

      @@IamDarkeye Now we have had much Fun
      studying something terribly bad (Queen Therista or whatever
      the name was),
      lets study something good;
      especially if you wanna become a Writer yourself!
      The so-called BEST Magic-System/Power-System in Fiction:
      'Nen' from 'HxH'!!
      OR the so-called BEST 'Dry Humor' from 'Hitchhikers Guide to
      the Galaxy'.

    • @violetweavile7908
      @violetweavile7908 2 роки тому +54

      If he rejected a hundred ideas over 40 years of work, that means he had on average only 2.5 ideas per year. That seems like the correct amount of brain activity to produce this result

  • @user-gp5yz5yz4x
    @user-gp5yz5yz4x 4 роки тому +8854

    "Empress Theresa is not a bad book, neither is it terrible book. It is one of those things that convinced me of the infinite mercy of god, anything less than infinite mercy would have incinerated this book before it was unleashed on an unsuspecting public"
    God damn

    • @luvlols4462
      @luvlols4462 4 роки тому +482

      I love literary savagery 🔥

    • @NeneSimone
      @NeneSimone 4 роки тому +48

      Zing! Zap!

    • @ebc6970
      @ebc6970 4 роки тому +243

      rare insults material

    • @Detlaff_Official
      @Detlaff_Official 3 роки тому +167

      That was a smiting by words

    • @haruki456
      @haruki456 3 роки тому +76

      I would have to give up if I saw that review. But I have humility.

  • @davidharing6475
    @davidharing6475 5 років тому +9294

    "Proof he has never seen a woman as he has no idea where breasts belong."
    That might be the harshest artistic criticism I have ever heard.

    • @chaossmith3864
      @chaossmith3864 4 роки тому +393

      @ Tbf, true.
      Even if you get them right sometimes, you may fail others.
      Had a pic I did that for some reason they kept coming out lopsided. Just kinda accepted it cause I was tired of fighting a boob.

    • @romanov3937
      @romanov3937 4 роки тому +32

      That was a harsh burn.

    • @DapperDill
      @DapperDill 4 роки тому +224

      If breasts were where he thought they were, millions of women would accidentally smother themselves in their sleep.

    • @someoneelse293
      @someoneelse293 4 роки тому +56

      Not all women keep them in the same place... ive seem them both lower and higher than depicted in his cover ( and no, I'm not the author lol)

    • @bewareofbear3576
      @bewareofbear3576 4 роки тому +122

      Its not so bad if you remember that Michelangelo couldn't quite get the place right too

  • @peachshandy
    @peachshandy 2 роки тому +608

    I'm so late to this, but Boutin just sent a poorly written letter in size 18 font directly to the English department I teach in last month, telling us we must add his book to our curriculum and teach it .

    • @NapaCat
      @NapaCat Рік тому +6

      wow

    • @NapaCat
      @NapaCat Рік тому +61

      Like... why doesn't he just manually insert himself into the blacklist already

    • @RetroPlus
      @RetroPlus Рік тому +11

      You can't be serious

    • @gz5405
      @gz5405 Рік тому +75

      Good to hear the old dog is still kicking and up to his old tricks

    • @DestructionatorWitch
      @DestructionatorWitch Рік тому +4

      Are you for real?

  • @joneelillard892
    @joneelillard892 3 роки тому +1620

    "Teenage Catholic girl"
    "Happily married"
    **Hol up**

    • @absolutelyyousless7605
      @absolutelyyousless7605 3 роки тому +168

      “Hello fellow citizens of Rome, how be your-“
      *”By the POPE!”*

    • @TravisBroski
      @TravisBroski 3 роки тому +162

      In defense, she was BARELY legal when she got married. And yes, he made a sexual remark towards her saying “her cleavage charmed the crowd”.

    • @absolutelyyousless7605
      @absolutelyyousless7605 3 роки тому +105

      @@TravisBroski This just makes such actions smell more of shallow justification and disgusting perversity

    • @absolutelyyousless7605
      @absolutelyyousless7605 3 роки тому +9

      @@TravisBroski Who doesn't hail Hitler in their spare time/s

    • @lionheart6176
      @lionheart6176 3 роки тому +9

      I'm guessing she married a Muslim

  • @imnothere6696
    @imnothere6696 4 роки тому +5751

    Onison and Norman need to get together and write the worst book imaginable

    • @fulcrum6760
      @fulcrum6760 4 роки тому +147

      I'm not here Norman would never work with that pedo.

    • @opticalraven1935
      @opticalraven1935 4 роки тому +299

      That'll cause a break in the space/time continuum.

    • @BlakeGeometrio
      @BlakeGeometrio 4 роки тому +149

      CP: The Book

    • @ergogrrl
      @ergogrrl 4 роки тому +167

      Absolutely not. ABSOLUTELY NOT. I will sue God if this happens.

    • @unnamed7485
      @unnamed7485 4 роки тому +65

      I dunno, My Immortal is pretty fierce competition

  • @SpydersByte
    @SpydersByte 4 роки тому +3380

    1:25 "a book about a good girl, with no sex, foul language, or violence"
    so wait, why did the reviews mention the constant cussing, the remarks on her breasts and whether or not she had had sex before marriage, and how she was a sniper or how they tried to kill her with an A-bomb? What?!?! Doesn't that violate literally EVERYTHING he said about the book?!?!

    • @thesuperpunmaster6369
      @thesuperpunmaster6369 4 роки тому +91

      Yup

    • @hassanbeydoun2460
      @hassanbeydoun2460 4 роки тому +255

      I initially thought he (the author) was trying to say that about the book so that when someone reads it they say "Wow! The opposite of what I was expecting happened!"
      Either that or he tried to clickbait people by convincing the people willing to buy the book that the character has certain characteristics/behaviors when in fact the character did not have said characteristics/behaviors 🤷🏻‍♂️

    • @v5in88
      @v5in88 4 роки тому +117

      Its basically literary clickbait

    • @googiegress7459
      @googiegress7459 3 роки тому +132

      @@v5in88 Readbait

    • @dyveira
      @dyveira 3 роки тому +50

      Well, he's a dumbass and a hypocrite. Not sure what you expected.

  • @gustavoaguado5449
    @gustavoaguado5449 3 роки тому +1140

    We need a movie adaptation of Empress Theresa directed by Neil Breen. Also starring Neil Breen as Theresa.

    • @lewiskazinsky7334
      @lewiskazinsky7334 3 роки тому +94

      Screenplay by Tommy Wiseau. Norman Boutin adapted by Wiseau and presented by Breen = holy trinity

    • @slevinchannel7589
      @slevinchannel7589 2 роки тому +7

      Now we have had much Fun
      studying something terribly bad (Queen Therista or whatever
      the name was),
      lets study something good;
      especially if you wanna become a Writer yourself!
      The so-called BEST Magic-System/Power-System in Fiction:
      'Nen' from 'HxH'!!

    • @None-Trick_Pony
      @None-Trick_Pony 2 роки тому +43

      I'm imagining Neil Breen in a wig controlling HAL using 26 laptops at once.

    • @gustavoaguado5449
      @gustavoaguado5449 2 роки тому +1

      @@None-Trick_Pony 😅

    • @SanMarcosBlanket
      @SanMarcosBlanket Рік тому +3

      I mean Neil in most of his movies is an alien

  • @hotelmario510
    @hotelmario510 3 роки тому +448

    I like how "They left no trace of their new sparring location" is written as if they're ancient gods who clashed and vanished when the world needed them most

  • @jhorseman3410
    @jhorseman3410 5 років тому +6522

    I mean to be fair: Having an ego so big that it can reach the Amazon comment limit, is kind of impressive, isn't it?

    • @kobaltsteel6418
      @kobaltsteel6418 5 років тому +229

      I mean 10,000 comments!!?? Amazing!!!

    • @dacypher22
      @dacypher22 5 років тому +273

      I know it will probably never be answered but I have to wonder if this is the only time that limit has ever been hit. Ten thousand comments?! It took a group of dedicated people years to hit it.

    • @donemerson699
      @donemerson699 5 років тому +39

      No, its kind of pathetic.

    • @wardedthorn6523
      @wardedthorn6523 5 років тому +202

      According to modern psychology, narcissists actually have terribly small egos and just overcompensate by constantly lying to themselves. In other words, he's defensive, not confident.

    • @dacypher22
      @dacypher22 5 років тому +197

      You know the person who got the last word in before it was locked had their day absolutely made. "That is it. End of story. I win."

  • @JamesEDonaldson
    @JamesEDonaldson 4 роки тому +7509

    So, a rubbish book that no one should have read sells thousands as people want to find out what the crazy author is on about.
    Norman is a genius.

    • @thealleys
      @thealleys 3 роки тому +400

      That and/or a top tier troll.

    • @fuddyruckers3
      @fuddyruckers3 3 роки тому +563

      No joke. I want to know how many copies were actually sold. Sounds like he duped a lot of people into buying a terrible book, then continued to profit by"defending" it. I think when he says "people don't understand what the book is about" is a subtle hint that he's exposing people to be that stupid

    • @ukewithme6792
      @ukewithme6792 3 роки тому +142

      @@thealleys yeah, that's exactly what he said actually. Aren't top tier trolls geniuses anyways?

    • @SpiralPoliFemboy
      @SpiralPoliFemboy 3 роки тому +28

      Sounds similar to Sonichu

    • @LamborghiniDiabloSVPursuit
      @LamborghiniDiabloSVPursuit 3 роки тому +196

      >So, a rubbish book that no one should have read sells thousands as people want to find out what the crazy author is on about.
      Well, just thouSAND, according to his poorly-designed website he's sold 1,086 copies as of the first quarter of 2021 (Considering he's still listing numbers as I'm talking, we can assume this is accurate).
      Let's be nice and assume all that is hard copy sales, he didn't include digital yet. Let's be nice even further and say that he printed them in 100-book increments from the printer, so each book costs on average $10 to print. He's selling it on Amazon for $12.50, so that means that roughly $10 is already off from manufacturing costs, then another $0.99 because that's how much Amazon takes per book sale, so he's making $1.51 per book.
      Now let's just assume this is all the costs associated, no taxes, miscellaneous costs, whatever. Its a flat $10 per book to make, $0.99 goes to Amazon, and $1.51 is your profit. In the span of 7 years, he's made, a rough estimate, $1640 in profits. Or in the bestter case scenario, let's say he's making $2.50 instead, because he gets a deal from the printer: that cranks it up by a grand at $2,710. Again, this isn't monthly income from sales, this is overall.
      So overall, in the 5 years it took him to write Empress Theresa and over 7 years of the book being in the market, Norman's profits covered about 1-2 months of living expenses in your average city (not including rent).
      In regards to digital sales, Norman didn't provide any details for it, so I'm going to assume its inconsequential compared to the books (since knowing Norman he'd likely boast how many downloads ET had), but let's just assume around 500 copies sold, more or less. The cost of the ebook is $3 and Amazon takes 30% of the sales, so he's taking home about $2.10, which isn't a lot more than his booksales.
      TL;DR: Norman's a nitwit.
      And remember, the numbers I provided were being generous. They could be worse, which means Norman could have made less than what I estimated. I haven't factored in taxes.

  • @MechMK1
    @MechMK1 Рік тому +287

    From a psychological angle, this is fascinating. Most creators identify themselves with their creations to some degree - they see parts of their own (true or imagined) personality traits in some of the characters they write. But in some people, this goes too far. They see their creation as a proxy for themselves, and thus need to see their creation succeed, so that in their mind, they can succeed.
    This becomes very apparent when he repeats the phrase "Theresa trusts God. She achieves her true self as intended from eternity. She is a winner." This isn't Norman trying to convince you, the reader, that Theresa is a well-written character. This is Norman trying to convince himself that he is a winner. As a devout Catholic, Norman trusts God and believes that he is destined to become successful with his book, that he is a winner. This also explains, why every criticism of the book is met with such vitriol, even well-meaning, constructive criticism. Because according to his ideas, this cricism stands in the way of his success. He convinced himself that it wasn't the sheer awfulness of his book that causes it to fail, but the criticism of others.
    In other words, Norman is convinced that he *is* Theresa to some degree. He is convinced that Theresa (therefore, he) is flawless, that his book is flawless, and that the only reason it has not been successful and appreciated yet is because the evil critics spread lies about it.

    • @Pleasestoptalkingthanks
      @Pleasestoptalkingthanks Рік тому +19

      Honestly, sounds like some narcissistic disorder of some type.

    • @Eric6761
      @Eric6761 11 місяців тому +6

      Even JP character From terrible writing advice isnt that desperate and that's a low ball

    • @williamference9221
      @williamference9221 11 місяців тому +24

      It's stranger. To Norman, Theresa's less a proxy for himself and more an idealized (to fetishistic levels) proxy of Jeanne d'Arc. He did a whole essay on Jeanne's death if you wanna see it.

    • @TransistorBased
      @TransistorBased 10 місяців тому +2

      Random commenter on UA-cam is a much better writer than a guy who spent 40 years on a novel

    • @royalhydra9790
      @royalhydra9790 9 місяців тому +2

      @@williamference9221He still projects onto the character a bit. It’s why theresea the sentiment mentioned by OP is repeated. Character traits aren’t similar (I think), but the idea of success is. Theresea is a winner and so is norman (in his rotting mind)

  • @DestructionatorWitch
    @DestructionatorWitch Рік тому +131

    This actually reminds me of Sonichu a LOT, in the sense that both stories have a "hero" character with unfathomable power, using their powers for "good" according to the author, but readers can see that the actions of the "hero" are actually unintentionally terrible.

    • @Wag1blad
      @Wag1blad Рік тому +10

      my god I just found out about Chris chan and did a deep dive into that, and yes sonichu and Theresa inhabit the same dimension.

    • @DestructionatorWitch
      @DestructionatorWitch Рік тому +8

      @@Wag1blad a dimension in which all background characters live in fear under the reign of a chaotic god-like tyrant of false righteousness

    • @CollegeDroputPowerpoints
      @CollegeDroputPowerpoints 9 місяців тому +2

      Youre the second person in here who made that connection so far XD

  • @pauline1809
    @pauline1809 4 роки тому +4565

    THIS BOOK HAS LITERALLY THE EXACT SAME PLOT AS ONE OF ONISIONS

    • @chem9773
      @chem9773 4 роки тому +361

      Now u mention it,yeah it really a same plot... But onision need to work harder to reach 400++ pages novel

    • @highadmiraljt5853
      @highadmiraljt5853 4 роки тому +504

      Is it the one where he killed god

    • @pauline1809
      @pauline1809 4 роки тому +135

      @@highadmiraljt5853 yea

    • @DopeioThePhoneBoi
      @DopeioThePhoneBoi 4 роки тому +547

      *HOLY SHIT, IT DOES-*
      THE ONLY THING MISSING IS ALL THE DADDY ISSUES AND NARCISSISTIC GOD KILLING, I'M GONNA FUCKING CRY-

    • @avocado3-in-182
      @avocado3-in-182 4 роки тому +194

      Norman Boutin is probably Onision’s pen name

  • @WolfeSpeider
    @WolfeSpeider 7 років тому +3517

    "loved by everybody ( even China wants her to take herself out of danger ),"
    what

    • @hibubgames7667
      @hibubgames7667 6 років тому +311

      WolfeSpeider Saturn wants me safe, what about you?

    • @oz_jones
      @oz_jones 6 років тому +42

      +Samuel Woolrich countries are referred to as females in English language. That doesn't make that sentence less bad tho

    • @nicholasgeere5125
      @nicholasgeere5125 6 років тому +30

      Samuel Woolrich no its chyna the wrestler

    • @mistertagomago7974
      @mistertagomago7974 6 років тому +97

      I think he was calling China a sexist country that hates women, but shes so great even China likes her.

    • @besaidknight
      @besaidknight 6 років тому +32

      Nah, China loves women, they just didn't think the poor cared enough about their family lineages to kill their daughters during the whole one kid thing. They just figured their rich sons would have their pick of the girls in a fifty fifty ratio society , but instead their sons are greeted with a sausage fest! XD

  • @omarservin9773
    @omarservin9773 3 роки тому +1364

    In the end, Norman managed to keep his book relevant, sold books, and had a devoted yet, critical audience who regularly interacted and read his book. I'd say Norman did quite well for himself in his situation

    • @thewhompingwampa2671
      @thewhompingwampa2671 3 роки тому +221

      "Negative attention is still attention" - Some guy circa I don't fucking know.

    • @aiyan7435
      @aiyan7435 3 роки тому +49

      @@thewhompingwampa2671 it’s from the 48 laws of power, which quoted it from some other dude that i don’t know either.......

    • @Ramsey276one
      @Ramsey276one 3 роки тому +6

      @@aiyan7435 Thanks for the lead
      XD

    • @lionheart6176
      @lionheart6176 3 роки тому +38

      So he somehow became Tommy Wiseau of literature world

    • @TheCorrodedMan
      @TheCorrodedMan 3 роки тому +15

      @@lionheart6176 No, Tommy is at least lovable in his own way. Norman just makes me want to grab him by the throat and throttle some sense into him, preferably breaking a few bones in the process.

  • @diosoth
    @diosoth 3 роки тому +329

    Whenever someone says "hard work means you will succeed" point them to this as proof that such a mantra doesn't hold up.

    • @tammid8423
      @tammid8423 3 роки тому +7

      Fuck this is underrated

    • @Ramsey276one
      @Ramsey276one 3 роки тому +24

      Hard work WHILE DOING IT RIGHT
      Because apparently everything needs context or explanation in Current Year
      XD
      I don’t want to imagine someone burning through their life span doing it wrong and expecting GLORIOUS SUCCESS...

    • @Hypergen-
      @Hypergen- 2 роки тому +34

      See, Norman didn’t do “hard work” just by writing a book for 20-40 years. If he truly did hard work, than he would have actively tried to improve his skill. Hard work doesn’t always equal pure work time, actually improving yourself is harder work.

    • @skade245
      @skade245 2 роки тому +2

      Hard work != spending a long time on something

    • @shelby5809
      @shelby5809 Рік тому +1

      @@skade245 life must suck, not knowing what "hard" or "work" means.

  • @Lorendrawn
    @Lorendrawn 4 роки тому +4473

    The best thing about this book's Amazon page is that there is only one related purchase item.
    Customers who bought this product also bought a shibari rope bondage lube applicator.
    How even.

    • @urrsys9765
      @urrsys9765 4 роки тому +365

      I can guarantee that any answer to the hows and evens of that middle sentence are beyond even the most fantastical ideals of human comprehension.
      (But I can probably guess.)

    • @muhammadramadhan2208
      @muhammadramadhan2208 4 роки тому +442

      For some strange reason that makes absolute sense to me

    • @ArminAwesome
      @ArminAwesome 4 роки тому +189

      For me it was Marx' Capital. Hilarious and thought provoking at the same time.

    • @AshenAlbaz0079
      @AshenAlbaz0079 4 роки тому +102

      Not even Eldrich horrors can wrap their tentacles around it so dont feel bad about it

    • @cerisejones8061
      @cerisejones8061 4 роки тому +16

      Or rope lmao

  • @blayne4343
    @blayne4343 7 років тому +3605

    Don't judge a book by its cover- this book is much worse than its cover..

    • @merrittanimation7721
      @merrittanimation7721 6 років тому +12

      Highest Horse Nice

    • @LaOxidada
      @LaOxidada 5 років тому +7

      Merritt Animation Mmmmm, nice.

    • @strandedcat8598
      @strandedcat8598 5 років тому +3

      This comment made my day

    • @Sypaka
      @Sypaka 5 років тому +44

      did someone notice, her Uniform has buttons there, where the nipples would be?
      This can't be comfortable.

    • @LaOxidada
      @LaOxidada 5 років тому +11

      I mean, it would be if this thing on the cover was a human, which this thing is most certainly not.

  • @judahosborne8868
    @judahosborne8868 3 роки тому +730

    It's fine to write a bad book or make a bad cover. Everyone starts somewhere. It's completely fine to be proud of your work, and even to be kinda hurt when someone gives criticism of any kind.
    What's not fine, is to act childish and retaliate at critics who were just trying to help. What's downright stupid, is to do it on the internet.

    • @fatihnri2484
      @fatihnri2484 3 роки тому +1

      Very true.

    • @slevinchannel7589
      @slevinchannel7589 2 роки тому +3

      @@fatihnri2484 Now we have had much Fun
      studying something terribly bad (Queen Therista or whatever
      the name was),
      lets study something good;
      especially if you wanna become a Writer yourself!
      The so-called BEST Magic-System/Power-System in Fiction:
      'Nen' from 'HxH'!!
      OR the so-called Best 'Dry Humor' from 'Hitchhikers Guide to
      the Galaxy'.

    • @slevinchannel7589
      @slevinchannel7589 2 роки тому +1

      To your info:
      Krimson Rogue,
      Cynical Reviews,
      and Both of them Together,
      have made each multiple Videos
      about Empress Theresa
      and they are very enjoyable.

    • @Vitorruy1
      @Vitorruy1 2 роки тому +2

      I think its silly to expect otherwise given we are talking about an old dude who spend 40 years on a book he thought it was a materpiece.

    • @iMajoraGaming
      @iMajoraGaming Рік тому

      @@Vitorruy1 materpiece
      git r dun

  • @aboundingvampirekiller2048
    @aboundingvampirekiller2048 3 роки тому +272

    The "My Immortal" of the 2010s.

    • @mrluthfians01
      @mrluthfians01 3 роки тому +3

      It's not fanfic

    • @jahbama6202
      @jahbama6202 3 роки тому +30

      @@mrluthfians01 it’s of the same quality

    • @mrluthfians01
      @mrluthfians01 3 роки тому +9

      @@jahbama6202 can't argue with that

    • @ileanabriannemari
      @ileanabriannemari 3 роки тому +16

      This was made in a span of _40 Years._
      My Immortal is the _Empress Theresa_ of the 2000's.
      *_*throws printed copies in the sky*_*

    • @aboundingvampirekiller2048
      @aboundingvampirekiller2048 3 роки тому

      @@ileanabriannemari can't argue with that

  • @DuranMK2
    @DuranMK2 4 роки тому +5416

    My favorite part of the story is when Theresa buys eleven extra bottles of soda (in the cafeteria of a building full of people who are supposed to be trying to kill her) as part of a plan to escape death by atom bomb, despite not having any knowledge about the plan to kill her that she uses the soda bottles to try and escape from. So, in other words, she buys and proceeds to carry around eleven bottles of soda for literally no in-universe reason. Made even better because the escape plan basically fails and she dies anyway, but gets resurrected because alien jizz magic.
    That's not even a joke, all of that actually happens in the book.

    • @josephoyek6574
      @josephoyek6574 4 роки тому +177

      Dafuq???

    • @addicted2mako
      @addicted2mako 4 роки тому +154

      I can picture her dragging along a garbage bag full of cokes like a little kid dragging along their favorite blankie XD

    • @same_ole_lemonz4195
      @same_ole_lemonz4195 3 роки тому +429

      holy shit, the more comments I read, the more I want to read the book, it's like a car accident your friends witnessed and are telling everyone about, and you are just sad you were not there to see it too.

    • @addicted2mako
      @addicted2mako 3 роки тому +253

      @@same_ole_lemonz4195 KrimsonRogue reviewed the book, so if you don't want to contribute $ to Norman Boutin and his ego, I recommend seeing those videos first

    • @eldrichnemo9312
      @eldrichnemo9312 3 роки тому +158

      I will never get over how her ability at perfect aim which turned into teenage softball career at the national level didn't exist as as setup for her using those eleven shaken up soda bottles as grenades once she was on the aircraft carrier tarmac. Between her aim and her super-strength she could have threatened to set the nuclear device off with one throw, saving her life and still giving her the upper hand to demand to speak to UK's Prime Minister since her own country betrayed her. Wasted potential.

  • @MrMcJazzhands
    @MrMcJazzhands 4 роки тому +4216

    I feel like Amazon set up that comment limit without thinking it would ever be reached.

    • @th3rasave
      @th3rasave 4 роки тому +198

      Or maybe they predicted it, and didn't want people to was their entire lives arguing with a dumbass?

    • @v5in88
      @v5in88 4 роки тому +66

      Spider Doctor not a dumbnass, a narcisist

    • @Ramsey276one
      @Ramsey276one 3 роки тому +65

      @@th3rasave like LTG blacklisted every one that wins against him and MAXED THE CONSOLES' BLACKLIST??

    • @BradyPostma
      @BradyPostma 3 роки тому +131

      People who make websites usually plan for some practical limits to quantities or sizes of data being stored. These predictions often miss the mark badly, and are reformed multiple times over the first few years of the site's life cycle.
      Professionals usually know this and deliberately leave plenty of room, with high quantity limits and large data size limits unless there are material reasons not to.
      Based on this, I suspect Amazon left that 10,000 comment cap in place deliberately, to prevent little fringe universes like this from continuing eternally. Otherwise, the limit would probably be a 64-bit unsigned integer, and the heat death of the universe would precede the death of that idiotic debate.

    • @iamathousandapples
      @iamathousandapples 3 роки тому +10

      @@v5in88 a little bit of column a, a little bit of column b

  • @addambelmont3050
    @addambelmont3050 9 місяців тому +24

    There's a blink and you'll miss it line where Teresa's husband Steve mentions his name was once Norman.
    Make of that what you will.

  • @TheRoseBoy11
    @TheRoseBoy11 Рік тому +63

    As a Massachusetts resident, we deeply apologize for having him representing our state's most "popular" books.

    • @randomboy3m98
      @randomboy3m98 Рік тому

      What is your favorite book by a Massachusetts author?

    • @ThePainkiller9995
      @ThePainkiller9995 9 місяців тому +8

      ​@@randomboy3m98empress theresa

  • @EmperorSigismund
    @EmperorSigismund 5 років тому +3780

    I think he wrote more defending his book in a few months than he did writing that book over 40 years.

    • @MogofWar
      @MogofWar 5 років тому +203

      EmperorSigismund Methinks he lied about how long he actively worked on the book to deflect criticism.

    • @matincatrat
      @matincatrat 5 років тому +108

      @@MogofWar exactly. He was definitely too lazy to fulfill his actual personal quotas

    • @lainhikaru5657
      @lainhikaru5657 4 роки тому +16

      How does he took 40 years to make just a 400 page book is a mystery too

    • @Septimus_ii
      @Septimus_ii 4 роки тому +1

      I don't think his defense was any more coherent than his book, though

    • @KiraSlith
      @KiraSlith 4 роки тому

      @Timothy McCaskey Most big UA-camrs have that problem sadly.

  • @TheNightWatcher1385
    @TheNightWatcher1385 5 років тому +5168

    I honestly feel bad for this guy. He spent his whole sheltered life creating what he thought was a masterpiece, only to run right into the brick wall of the reality that his creation was shit.
    “This took me three months to paint” was both cringey and heart wrenching. With some proper art skills and writing direction, he could’ve made a decent storyline. He’s probably too old and set in his ways now though.

    • @randomcenturion7264
      @randomcenturion7264 5 років тому +680

      Yeah. It's pathetic and tragic at the same time.

    • @TheNightWatcher1385
      @TheNightWatcher1385 5 років тому +609

      Finbar Brolly He has the pieces for what sounds like a cool premise. A teenager becoming an empress. With the right writing skills, that’s a fun concept.
      But this, this is just more sad than funny. Such wasted potential.

    • @goobiusthetrafficcone1438
      @goobiusthetrafficcone1438 4 роки тому +169

      He's like a Pupkin from King of Comedy type of character, pathetic and narcissistic but you still feel for him.

    • @thehermit8618
      @thehermit8618 4 роки тому +236

      @@TheNightWatcher1385 more like a teenager becoming God Empress of the world. From what i've read of the book and of descriptions online, Theresa becomes something of an omniscient, omnipotent goddess

    • @TheNightWatcher1385
      @TheNightWatcher1385 4 роки тому +14

      It Just Works Strange

  • @JacF6734
    @JacF6734 3 роки тому +105

    "Do you just wake up in the morning and think 'Holy shit, I'm going to be a tumor today?’”
    - Filthy Frank

    • @Ramsey276one
      @Ramsey276one 3 роки тому +4

      I can only assume the original product is even more entertaining
      XD

  • @chrisprescott2273
    @chrisprescott2273 Рік тому +108

    Something tells me that Empress Theresa was based on the neighbors girl that he has "admired" from a far...for her whole life. Sick

    • @triggeredcat120
      @triggeredcat120 Рік тому +18

      An English Chris Chan

    • @CollegeDroputPowerpoints
      @CollegeDroputPowerpoints 9 місяців тому +9

      And then you add 4 teaspoons of religion and you got yourself an enygma.

    • @givemysundaeback
      @givemysundaeback 3 місяці тому

      I can't tell which of them is more homophobic. Sure, Chris started to pretend to be trans so he could fuck lesbians, but Norman is an English catholic...

  • @poesmascaradep4134
    @poesmascaradep4134 3 роки тому +2408

    "The difference between you and Harper Lee, is that you are not Harper Lee"
    A murder was witnessed by everyone but the victim, who is now a ghost, still thinking it's better then Harper Lee.

    • @Ramsey276one
      @Ramsey276one 3 роки тому +5

      LOVE THIS
      XD

    • @slevinchannel7589
      @slevinchannel7589 2 роки тому +4

      Now we have had much Fun
      studying something terribly bad (Queen Therista or whatever
      the name was),
      lets study something good;
      especially if you wanna become a Writer yourself!
      The so-called BEST Magic-System/Power-System in Fiction:
      'Nen' from 'HxH'!!
      OR the so-called BEST 'Dry Humor' from 'Hitchhikers Guide to
      the Galaxy'.

    • @Ramsey276one
      @Ramsey276one 2 роки тому +3

      @@slevinchannel7589 will do!
      XD

    • @WillieManga
      @WillieManga 2 роки тому +16

      OP was Atticus Finch and Norman was the rabbid dog he snipes.

    • @simontatton5424
      @simontatton5424 2 роки тому +1

      *than*

  • @horrortackleharry
    @horrortackleharry 5 років тому +3271

    One invaluable lesson I've learned in life: always avoid people who boast about their 'IQ'.

    • @Damo2690
      @Damo2690 5 років тому +129

      IQ is all bullshit

    • @dreadlordhg360
      @dreadlordhg360 5 років тому +224

      people who say they’re not that smart are usually smarter than people who brag about high IQ.

    • @USAReject
      @USAReject 5 років тому +4

      t. DeShawn

    • @GameyRaccoon
      @GameyRaccoon 5 років тому +27

      @thunder key
      >calls a subreddit a board.
      >thinking.jpeg

    • @Potato-Eye
      @Potato-Eye 5 років тому +1

      My boy, what up. Still in cali?

  • @guttsu
    @guttsu 2 роки тому +68

    I remember being about 14, having a stupid argument with my 7 year old cousin. Afterwards, my uncle asked why I bothered; I said that he was wrong and had to be corrected. My uncle stated how pointless that was, and just a total waste of energy and anger. I think of that discussion upon seeing insanely trivial, time-consuming internet arguments. But they're much funnier from the outside!

    • @Shaun_Jones
      @Shaun_Jones Рік тому +10

      I tend to just make my point once and then go; if they aren’t convinced the first time I say it, they won’t be convinced the twentieth.

    • @pandemicphilly60
      @pandemicphilly60 Рік тому

      ​@Shaun Jones Same

  • @pizzafrog.2468
    @pizzafrog.2468 2 роки тому +127

    I once wrote a short story so bad it made me cry. It was that awful and I don't think I had ever seen anything worse at the time.
    This book make me feel so much better about myself.

    • @zodiaczennial3676
      @zodiaczennial3676 Рік тому

      😂😂

    • @CollegeDroputPowerpoints
      @CollegeDroputPowerpoints 9 місяців тому +1

      Im the opposite. Somewhere out there is a good author and this guys showing them up and I want to give that author a hug

  • @HailSatanLLC
    @HailSatanLLC 5 років тому +3468

    Empress Theresa is the Fallout 76 of books.
    In that, the bullshit around the book is a lot more interesting than the book itself.

    • @Eagledude131
      @Eagledude131 4 роки тому +82

      Fallout 76 got... arguably better though, Empress Theresa got worse every time the author wrote another word on it

    • @user-gu7yo5yn9g
      @user-gu7yo5yn9g 4 роки тому +33

      and the fact that norman is still commenting the most recent one being from 1 month ago

    • @thedustinmobile1054
      @thedustinmobile1054 4 роки тому +89

      @@Eagledude131 every update for 76 some how makes it more broken

    • @YavinPrime
      @YavinPrime 4 роки тому +11

      You know I wasn't there for Fallout 76's launch but I'm enjoying it now. It's not as good as it should be but I'm entertained. I agree though some of the stories about the game are just shocking to say the least.

    • @matthewmorrison3745
      @matthewmorrison3745 4 роки тому +47

      Don't defend fallout 76, even if you bought it full price and deny you got cheated.

  • @astoldbyneon43
    @astoldbyneon43 7 років тому +3342

    The story of a crazy old catholic man vs reasonable Amazon reviewers
    *Tale as old as time, Song as old as rhyme, Critics and the Beast*

    • @thefvguy5648
      @thefvguy5648 7 років тому +146

      *claps*

    • @azula8226
      @azula8226 7 років тому +50

      Your profile pic describes your comment perfect
      *LOUDLY CLAPS*

    • @mysteryjuno826
      @mysteryjuno826 7 років тому +5

      i want that to go down

    • @chrisossu2070
      @chrisossu2070 7 років тому +56

      To be fair, the story's more crazy old Catholic man vs reasonable Amazon reviewers that quickly mutated into crazy old Catholic man vs trolls with way too much time on their hands.

    • @BrettonFerguson
      @BrettonFerguson 7 років тому +27

      If some 70 year old guy wants to publish crappy books on Kindle, who gives a shit. At least he is staying busy. He probably dreamed about writing this shitty book his entire life. He doesn't need an editor or publisher, WTF for, so they can tell him never to write again?

  • @wub9044
    @wub9044 3 роки тому +134

    "The difference between Harper Lee and you, is that you aren't Harper Lee."
    Shots fired.

    • @slevinchannel7589
      @slevinchannel7589 2 роки тому

      Now we have had much Fun
      studying something terribly bad (Queen Therista or whatever
      the name was),
      lets study something good;
      especially if you wanna become a Writer yourself!
      The so-called BEST Magic-System/Power-System in Fiction:
      'Nen' from 'HxH'!!
      OR the so-called BEST 'Dry Humor' from 'Hitchhikers Guide to
      the Galaxy'.

  • @wolfpax22
    @wolfpax22 9 місяців тому +25

    Its funny how Empress Theresa looks like she's dressed like an airline pilot.

  • @FruitNDoggie
    @FruitNDoggie 4 роки тому +2581

    Mother Theresa fan fiction gone wrong.

    • @elaovi
      @elaovi 3 роки тому +2

      BTIsaac wdym?

    • @SuperNuclearUnicorn
      @SuperNuclearUnicorn 3 роки тому +98

      @@elaovi Mother Theresa would refuse to give proper modern medical care to sick people, believing suffering brought you closer to God. Then when she was sick/dying of course she got the best care

    • @addicted2mako
      @addicted2mako 3 роки тому +34

      I think he made the book as a tribute to Joan of Arc if I remember correctly

    • @taliajung1553
      @taliajung1553 3 роки тому +3

      When I say that I wheezed--

    • @rokukou
      @rokukou 3 роки тому +1

      hey, i know you!

  • @Penoatle
    @Penoatle 4 роки тому +1925

    I bought it, gave it to my wife as a gag gift.
    She hated it and uses it as a coffee table book/ice breaker.

    • @Princess2Warrior
      @Princess2Warrior 4 роки тому +27

      *So Norman Boutin is the J.K. Rowling of American authors - I don't get why people were giving him grief if Rowling was writing books just as bad? - I guess retards love some books and hate others.*

    • @PsiensGate
      @PsiensGate 4 роки тому +196

      @@Princess2Warrior Harry Potter had a good storyline and enough interesting stuff to actually do something with. Empress Theresa is just a generic, boring, narcissistic, horribly written book with no goal and no creativity.

    • @johngardner4096
      @johngardner4096 4 роки тому +66

      Don't forget that it's also good for leveling out washing machines...

    • @viscountrainbows6452
      @viscountrainbows6452 4 роки тому +83

      @@Princess2Warrior Hi Norm!

    • @Princess2Warrior
      @Princess2Warrior 4 роки тому +3

      @@viscountrainbows6452 *Man, you guys are dumb as fvck, aren't you? No wonder you're essentially making fun of the male version of J.K. Rowling (the male version of a sh|tty author).*

  • @inferior3199
    @inferior3199 3 роки тому +43

    This book is like If I wrote down every random imagined situation inside my head and then tried to make them into a coherent story

    • @lazydelibird
      @lazydelibird 2 роки тому +5

      Dude, I did this and it really is more coherent than this hot mess.

  • @hymncat9456
    @hymncat9456 7 місяців тому +18

    The promise of a Strong Female Lead followed immediately by Theresa being described as a perfect helpful harmless sexless being is insane

  • @doesanythingmatter1326
    @doesanythingmatter1326 5 років тому +3288

    Just when I was thinking i spend too much time playing video games, I find out there was a small army spending months trying to make a crazy old man admit he was wrong.

    • @boojum1769
      @boojum1769 5 років тому +159

      truly passionate engagement just the same, high five!!

    • @TheGuardDuck
      @TheGuardDuck 5 років тому +212

      Go back to the games, you missed nothing.

    • @stephenskinner7207
      @stephenskinner7207 5 років тому +25

      That's not a suggestion of how you should be spending your time.

    • @slappy8941
      @slappy8941 5 років тому +104

      Everyone needs a hobby, I suppose.

    • @ezraf.7759
      @ezraf.7759 5 років тому +45

      There's thousands of things more productive than arguing with strangers over the internet, so that's not saying much.

  • @Sarah.Riedel
    @Sarah.Riedel 4 роки тому +1718

    "Theresa can't be defeated."
    THEN WHAT IS EVEN THE POINT OF THE DAMN BOOK??!

    • @aboundingvampirekiller2048
      @aboundingvampirekiller2048 3 роки тому +165

      Its Sonichu in a Dress and Pumps.

    • @pixline3400
      @pixline3400 3 роки тому +106

      Seems like Norman took Mary Sue to the next level

    • @bacht4799
      @bacht4799 3 роки тому +30

      Inspection to modern movie making like The Last Jedi ..

    • @paolo2763
      @paolo2763 3 роки тому +13

      We all must surrender to our new goddess

    • @Foreststrike
      @Foreststrike 3 роки тому +66

      She can't be defeated, but she CAN die.
      I smell a SCP, and it needs to be contained with [REDACTED]'s and [DATA EXPUNGED]'s.
      ASAP.
      Right now. Chop-chop.

  • @UnknownSoldier412
    @UnknownSoldier412 3 роки тому +155

    The most amazing part of this video for me is that, apparently, blog sites still exist. I was convinced that subreddits, youtube, and twitch had gobbled up the World Wide Web.

    • @slevinchannel7589
      @slevinchannel7589 2 роки тому

      To your info:
      Krimson Rogue,
      Cynical Reviews, and Both of them Together, have made each multiple Videos about Empress Theresa
      and they are very enjoyable.

    • @Vitorruy1
      @Vitorruy1 2 роки тому

      I follow a blog :/

    • @heinoustentacles5719
      @heinoustentacles5719 Рік тому +9

      That just means you're a lazy web user. You can find all sorts of stuff browsing around.

    • @mrjuxmunux778
      @mrjuxmunux778 Рік тому +8

      ​@@heinoustentacles5719 bruh

    • @CollegeDroputPowerpoints
      @CollegeDroputPowerpoints 9 місяців тому

      Goodreads might be here forever

  • @slightlyistorical1776
    @slightlyistorical1776 3 роки тому +89

    Can we all just give kudos to Lousy Book Covers for their motto: “Just because you CAN design your own cover doesn’t mean you SHOULD.”

  • @fortifyjoy
    @fortifyjoy 4 роки тому +8262

    this has literally inspired me to try writing a book. it has shown me that literally anyone can do it, and that no matter what I produce, it can't be this bad.

    • @AugustusBohn0
      @AugustusBohn0 4 роки тому +312

      good! writing can be rewarding and I wish you luck

    • @third-ratedude4234
      @third-ratedude4234 4 роки тому +312

      Good luck, mate! And remember, dont be like Norman Boutin, always listen to valid criticism

    • @FizzieWebb
      @FizzieWebb 3 роки тому +19

      Nor can it be as bad as One Extraordinary Time.

    • @googiegress7459
      @googiegress7459 3 роки тому +271

      Learn from Norman's mistake. Instead of pouring thousands of hours into fighting about your bad book, spend that time writing more bad books. *cash register sounds*

    • @bonsouthall960
      @bonsouthall960 3 роки тому +18

      Literally how many times will you be using the word "literally"?

  • @marshwalker8322
    @marshwalker8322 4 роки тому +761

    What if he was just an old guy who decided to become a God-Tier Troll since he's retired and had nothing else to do?

    • @daphnerogers4277
      @daphnerogers4277 4 роки тому +75

      it's possible. I mean, this is the internet after all.

    • @Amfortas
      @Amfortas 4 роки тому +5

      Lmao

    • @RogueT-Rex8468
      @RogueT-Rex8468 4 роки тому +5

      Bradley Dalton he’s actually 72 years old now.

    • @camilasuemi6850
      @camilasuemi6850 4 роки тому +6

      Maybe. Watch the first our If this video ua-cam.com/video/yNCUp2VkKhs/v-deo.html made by the same UA-camr of this current video. He goes to Norman's website. It's chaotic.

    • @absolutelyyousless7605
      @absolutelyyousless7605 4 роки тому +41

      The absolute mad lad gave her 420 kids, and 69 cousins... no way he isn’t some 4-D chess playing master manipulator of some kind

  • @round5soundsfetchmetheirso827
    @round5soundsfetchmetheirso827 3 роки тому +61

    Norman: *calls a navy veteran a coward*
    Also Norman: *most of his military service was in Germany, probably never saw combat*

    • @stevenschnepp576
      @stevenschnepp576 3 роки тому +4

      ... It's not like we've gotten in a lot of naval engagements in the last fifty years.

    • @BabishForIdiots
      @BabishForIdiots 2 роки тому +4

      Bro. I'm in the navy and don't care

    • @Vitorruy1
      @Vitorruy1 2 роки тому +1

      That means if the soviet union invaded Empress Theresa would not have been written

    • @Aurelian369_
      @Aurelian369_ Рік тому +12

      @@Vitorruy1 i never thought I’d be rooting for the soviets until now

  • @Chaotic4Neutral
    @Chaotic4Neutral 3 роки тому +80

    Empressa Theresa: a cautionary tale on how much time can be wasted arguing on the internet.

    • @sawyere2496
      @sawyere2496 2 роки тому +1

      I know right? Like didn’t these people have jobs or hobbies at all

    • @anneoneal3865
      @anneoneal3865 2 роки тому +1

      @@sawyere2496
      In fairness, the author decided to argue back at them, so he's as big of a loser as they are.

    • @sawyere2496
      @sawyere2496 2 роки тому

      @@anneoneal3865 that’s true.

    • @lazydelibird
      @lazydelibird 2 роки тому

      Way less time wasted than arguing on twitter tho.

  • @regmao3143
    @regmao3143 5 років тому +2060

    When i heard “catholic girl with unlimited powers”, i thought it would be a horror story.

  • @simonkawasaki4229
    @simonkawasaki4229 5 років тому +2184

    I'm sure my Team Rocket affiliated Mary Sue biography I wrote when I was 11 can beat this.

    • @nxgan1088
      @nxgan1088 4 роки тому +114

      I'd like to read that..

    • @studyzen8836
      @studyzen8836 4 роки тому +80

      Release the book!

    • @basedokadaizo
      @basedokadaizo 4 роки тому +77

      publish it, king!!

    • @mannequia8294
      @mannequia8294 4 роки тому +80

      Give me the biography I want some world building in Pokemon I wanna know the business procedures of Team Rocket aside from thievery please give me this info

    • @caspian4316
      @caspian4316 4 роки тому +68

      I mean, at least you had the excuse of being a child.

  • @GidionG
    @GidionG 7 місяців тому +8

    I love how the conclusion is just "So it turns out there is a cap on the amount of comments. We now know what that cap is."

  • @daylightbright7675
    @daylightbright7675 3 роки тому +68

    I absolutely love reading bad books and fanfiction. I pick it all apart in my head and fix everything I find to be lacking. I can then find inconsistencies in my own writing and it's improved my own abilities a lot. So many times there's amazing ideas and compelling adventure patiently waiting to be told. The author just lacked the skill to build what they saw in their mind. Like with Theresa, you can tell he wanted a humble hero who doesn't see why she's so special. He wanted her to feel fear she has no reason to, struggle when she could have whatever she wants so easily, never take anything foregranted even when she could take EVERYTHING foregranted. It shows a grounded person who's still learned the intense pain of being human, because in the end that's all that can create *real* empathy and real kindness. If you never suffer and never know pain, you'll never really be able to connect with those who are suffering. Theresa is only supposed to be a Mary Sue from a narrative perspective, to herself and in her mind she's meant to be generally plain and uninteresting. But the execution was absolutely horrible. You still need some genuine conflict to make a good story, but he didn't want to add that in case it takes away from how badass she's supposed to be. That's stupid because no matter how untouchable your character is, you can always find weaknesses and flaws to explore. There can always be struggles to overcome. In the book Origin for example the main character Pia was made in a research facility to be completely immortal. She's immune to every disease, toxin and poison ever known, will never age, hell nothing can even scratch her skin. This makes her incredibly aloof and cold towards everyone around her because she sees herself as superior. After all, they're all just weak mortals who's time is quickly running out. Compared to that, why she's basically a goddess right? But as she grew up she realized that this thing called death actually *connects* all other human beings to eachother and by extension to life itself. She's the one on the outside. She's the one sitting in a very, very unnatural position suspended away from nature. It's why she desperately wants others like her to be born so she won't be totally alone anymore in this bizzare state. But that then begs the question of what they'll all *do* with their endless time anyway. Knit? Play the harmonica? Listen to Skrillex? See, she also eventually realizes that limitless time and an endless life has no real worth compared to a life that will naturally end someday. The finality is what makes it valuable in the first place. What's even left to live for when you'll never have to fight or work for anything ever again? It's made even worse when she falls in love with a nice, normal boy who is definitely not immortal. She has to face the fact that he'll grow old and die while she stays young and beautiful forever. In this case her immortality actually becomes her demon to slay and a bitterly harsh reality she's forced to face. She may not be able to die, but that doesn't mean she doesn't endure hardship and develop as a character. Even Pia, a stunningly beautiful, genius, beloved, immortal woman who *CAN'T DIE* still has her flaws. I'm sorry but there's just no excuse, only poor writing.

    • @lazydelibird
      @lazydelibird 2 роки тому +7

      True immortality is a subject that's very hard to write because its hard to comprehend. Noke if us will live forever, and we can never truly be able to write about an immortal's life (If you can even call their existence life) because none of us are. But from the somewhat brief description of pia's story, it sounds like it works very well.

    • @KopperNeoman
      @KopperNeoman Рік тому

      Pia would benefit immensely from the Gospel. That those mortal beings are simply moving to another eternal Kingdom. That some day this world will end and she too will ascend there and see them again, provided she doesn't fall to evil.

  • @FrenchDavid50
    @FrenchDavid50 5 років тому +3063

    How many times do we have to teach you this lesson old man?!

  • @noamdsi123
    @noamdsi123 4 роки тому +5834

    Damn. I was laughing until you mentioned he worked on it for 20 years. That's legitimately sad, I'm not even saying that as a joke.
    Update: That painting took him three months??
    Update: HE WORKED ON IT FOR 4O YEARS???

    • @deltaknight2764
      @deltaknight2764 3 роки тому +358

      Norman's a real-life anomaly.

    • @-perge
      @-perge 3 роки тому +793

      Passion projects gone obsessive...
      Not only will you have an unhealthy desire for perfection, but it's for an inherently shaky idea. And once you've exhausted yourself in achieving some meretrictious goal, you also have to defend It's quality. Otherwise you accept that some percent of your life has wilted away.
      Don't suffer the same curse as Norman. Never get trapped in passion projects, end them and start learning. Your brain will thank you.

    • @simcard867
      @simcard867 3 роки тому +373

      @@-perge that also happens to people who self insert themselves in their stories. They can't take criticism since they see it as an insult to themselves and they make their self insert a Mary Sue. No wonder this guy failed, he created his own waifu or recreated his crush

    • @japanesemyth
      @japanesemyth 3 роки тому +212

      @@-perge I don't think there's anything wrong with passion projects, but the obsession with perfection will stop anyone from getting anything done. The author said he rejected a thousand ideas before coming up with this magnum opus. He probably should have just went with any idea he had and kept moving forward, project to project. Then maybe he would have actually learned some things about writing and improved.
      Edit: whoops. Misread. Sorry about that, you good.

    • @calebwheeler8143
      @calebwheeler8143 3 роки тому +90

      @@japanesemyth I personally think that ideas are overrated. Execution is much more important.

  • @metademetra
    @metademetra 3 роки тому +153

    I listened to KrimsonRogue's review of the book. The entire time, I kept mentally comparing Theresa to the Emperor of Mankind from Warhammer. (Krimson did once in his review too, just to highlight how truly intimidating someone like Theresa would be to the average person.) Upon doing so, I realized that this book could have been so much better if Norman leaned in to her being an all-powerful dictator. Make her do really evil things that unfortunately have a net gain for the human race. Make the people miserable, but still reverent of Theresa.
    ...Or just read the first three Horus Heresy books. If the goal is something low on sex and violence, it absolutely fails in that category, but maybe trying to make a wholesome story about an all-powerful dictator just isn't possible.

    • @ganii1804
      @ganii1804 3 роки тому +12

      Theresa Protects

    • @williek08472
      @williek08472 2 роки тому +6

      It's funny because I write short stories as a hobby and an idea I had for one of them was where a bullied girl named Teresa somehow becomes an immortal, powerful psychic who goes on to rule the world and eventually creates an interstellar theocratic empire with herself as a god-empress. The main story actually takes place millennia in the future and follows a wannabe journalist who tries to learn about Teresa and how she came to be.
      And this was a year or two ago, long before I heard about this mess of a book. In retrospect, I'm glad I didn't take it any further.

    • @nejdalej
      @nejdalej 2 роки тому +5

      When I was 16, one of my school friends wrote a whole novel from the perspective of a dictator of a dystopian universe. And what was even better was that despite all odds, the book was actually pretty good. Safe to say, he was a very strange person but good conversation.

    • @nejdalej
      @nejdalej 2 роки тому +5

      @@williek08472 That actually sounds kinda cool, though it would probably be more interesting to see it from Theresa's perspective. You see her gradual mental decline and her discovery of her powers until she finally ascends, taking over the universe. You'll need to add some conflict here, especially if she becomes so OP by the end x

    • @mackar5705
      @mackar5705 Рік тому

      ​@@nejdalej what was the novel called? Author too?

  • @cpt_nordbart
    @cpt_nordbart 3 роки тому +114

    When Terrible Writing Advice writes a book like he advises. Oh boy.

    • @MrRuano825
      @MrRuano825 3 роки тому +30

      I'm sorry, but where was the plot-resolving love triangle?

    • @lazydelibird
      @lazydelibird 2 роки тому +13

      @@MrRuano825 Silly goose, that's for the franchise reeboot sequel that's actually a prequel.

    • @DoctorSpacebar
      @DoctorSpacebar Рік тому +3

      All according to *plan.*

  • @squish2042
    @squish2042 4 роки тому +2466

    i feel so attack(ed). i’m Theresa, grew up catholic in Massachusetts. when i was young i always felt like some creep was watching me. this whole thing is giving me the heebie-jeebies rn

    • @MetalFox619
      @MetalFox619 3 роки тому +432

      Do you have powers tho?

    • @sp.v.207
      @sp.v.207 3 роки тому +437

      Why did you bought all that soda?

    • @youtubeuserdan4017
      @youtubeuserdan4017 3 роки тому +341

      Are you happily married?

    • @donkface8509
      @donkface8509 3 роки тому +258

      Did you meet a fox that suddenly spits you some wird glowing orb?

    • @ruth078
      @ruth078 3 роки тому +27

      Do you Think about your great hair a lot ?

  • @cyanmanta
    @cyanmanta 4 роки тому +4243

    “Theresa can’t be defeated.”
    You keep saying this like it’s a good thing, Norm, but it’s actually a massive and fatal flaw. If she’s infallible, there’s no story. Theresa is a Mary Sue. That’s a bad thing, Norm. If the outcome is already decided on page one, then why the hell should I read the rest of the book? You’ve spoiled your own story.

    • @bremensims6086
      @bremensims6086 4 роки тому +356

      Not always, watch (or read) One Punch Man. He can't be defeated, but it's still a great story. Not that Empress Theresa is good.

    • @calamityechoes3496
      @calamityechoes3496 4 роки тому +223

      Not always the outcome, but the antiques and shenanigans are interesting. Comical or not, you can write a book of immortal beings living through history and people would be interested in their experiences or their views. The ending doesn’t necessarily the kill the content, but the content can kill all.

    • @marcusreading3783
      @marcusreading3783 4 роки тому +281

      @Brina Owens Actually, the fact that OPM cant be defeated is the entire point of the story. Its not about an all powerful fighter winning all the time, its about a man with almost unlimited power who is completely and utterly bored. The epic battles are really more set dressing for the actual plot.
      As for fanfiction, there are actually a large number of genuinely really good fics out there. True, they can be buried under a metric ton of shit and poorly written smut, but the gems really shine.

    • @neimad6869
      @neimad6869 4 роки тому +79

      Romeo and Juliet spoils that they both die on the first page, and it turned out good.

    • @calamityechoes3496
      @calamityechoes3496 4 роки тому +20

      Brina Owens I’m not saying this about the book, the book is just a mess.
      I’m applying to most books; the ending doesn’t necessarily kill all of the book or the story itself. It’s also not necessarily all about philosophical ideals and such or just ‘slice of life’. There’s many open ended books that has a good plot that leaves the reader to continue the end or just figure it out themselves. There’s also some continuous shenanigans that has varied endings or just isn’t there for continuity, just a closing that doesn’t speak of the end but speaks of the present. Those are mostly what we delicately call “shitposts”. So not necessarily journalism or philosophy or slice of life, there’s also many types of fiction.
      And yes, I do know about Mary Sues.
      Tl;dr: Doesn’t only apply to philosophical/life lessons/information but also fiction. Conclusion doesn’t kill all as it’s just a part of the whole content, but the ultimate product itself can.

  • @Leblenlens
    @Leblenlens 3 роки тому +443

    I'm an artist and i honestly like both of the paintings covers, they aren't anatomically correct, but they got a style? It's just weird, it gives a weird vibe.
    I have shit taste.

    • @penny4urthots125
      @penny4urthots125 3 роки тому +77

      I somehow liked them too? Not an artist, but a bookworm, and I would have bought the book just because the cover looked weird.

    • @idonhaveanyideawhattocallm1472
      @idonhaveanyideawhattocallm1472 3 роки тому +5

      He should become an artist

    • @Grim_Sister
      @Grim_Sister 3 роки тому +76

      Trust me, he shouldn’t be.
      Art is about receiving criticism constantly. You need thick skin to get through that and be open for said criticism if you want to be better. I feel like Norman would argue with his art teacher if they so much as said he needs to improve their anatomy and obsessively follow them around just so he could get them fired

    • @slevinchannel7589
      @slevinchannel7589 2 роки тому +1

      Now we have had much Fun
      studying something terribly bad (Queen Therista or whatever
      the name was),
      lets study something good;
      especially if you wanna become a Writer yourself!
      The so-called BEST Magic-System/Power-System in Fiction:
      'Nen' from 'HxH'!!
      OR the so-called BEST 'Dry Humor' from 'Hitchhikers Guide to
      the Galaxy'.

    • @geordi5054
      @geordi5054 2 роки тому +11

      Your profile picture confirms that last statement.

  • @cjhedrick6418
    @cjhedrick6418 Рік тому +11

    "By the second paragraph, you WILL be convinced she's a Mary Sue!"

  • @miaironstone6783
    @miaironstone6783 4 роки тому +968

    I want to be empathetic... beyond all the weird stuff, here’s an old man who clearly put time and effort into his book, the cover, and trying to defend it. I can’t shake the image of a grandpa toiling over a canvas. But my empathy only goes so far. And the fact that he won’t even engage with polite and constructive criticism even from people who genuinely want to see him improve and succeed angers me

    • @stormisuedonym4599
      @stormisuedonym4599 3 роки тому +75

      Time and 'effort' do not a quality product make.

    • @baumi8125
      @baumi8125 3 роки тому +97

      I could be empathetic if there wasn't the downright pedophilic stuff. The character, theresa, is described as 10 and 14 in book, so is describing a teenage girl as having “perky breasts” and something gross about her rear end filling out nicely in clothes

    • @miaironstone6783
      @miaironstone6783 3 роки тому +72

      @@baumi8125 I agree, the product is garbage and his unwillingness to even engage with criticism is where my sympathy ends. At some point people have to be taken to task for their behavior

    • @thewholekitandkaboodle7569
      @thewholekitandkaboodle7569 3 роки тому +47

      Yeah, the empathy ends for me when you’ve gone out of your way to ask for criticism in forums and then get pissed that people on said forums criticize your work. People /have/ been kind in their constructive criticism (some, not all) and he rejected all of that to do what he wanted instead.
      There was a forum for Jewish people where he asked how they felt about Exodus 2.0, and when they (predictably) responded negatively to the Israeli people abandoning their holy land to move to an island in the shape of a Star of David, he threw a tantrum. One of the people there summed it up best by asking something along the lines of, “You came here to ask for our help. Why bother if you weren’t going to listen?”

    • @TheKillerEmcee
      @TheKillerEmcee 3 роки тому

      @@stormisuedonym4599 Yes it does 😂

  • @blurhikari6545
    @blurhikari6545 7 років тому +1808

    The way he describes Theresa makes her look like a blatant mary sue.

    • @user-ii8od4wu5p
      @user-ii8od4wu5p 7 років тому +136

      Wow, are you a genius?

    • @blurhikari6545
      @blurhikari6545 7 років тому +369

      Certified Genius from Hasambin University, mind you.

    • @gunmunz
      @gunmunz 7 років тому +160

      She gives the chick from My Immortal a run for her money

    • @Eshray
      @Eshray 7 років тому +145

      Conspiracy Theory: Empress Theresa is actually the spiritual sequel to My Immortal

    • @scallysnix.2975
      @scallysnix.2975 6 років тому +11

      Blur Hikari Aww, dats a cute picture!

  • @maplecandy.
    @maplecandy. Рік тому +60

    I think its hilarious the book asserts itself as something Godly and wholesome while the author never shuts up about how sexy he thinks Theresa is.

    • @MysteriumArcanum
      @MysteriumArcanum Рік тому +22

      Which is especially creepy when you remember that Theresa is technically a minor

  • @ratedmformario
    @ratedmformario Рік тому +324

    I loved the part when Theresa said it’s “It’s Theresa’in time!“ and Theresa’d all over the villains

    • @cardioandfriends
      @cardioandfriends Рік тому +14

      This meme has a layer of dust on it

    • @ratedmformario
      @ratedmformario Рік тому +26

      @@cardioandfriends I have more likes than you

    • @ItsMeVolatility
      @ItsMeVolatility Рік тому +16

      @@cardioandfriends Its true, FroggyStyle 64, RatedMforMario does have more likes than you. My condolences.

    • @kelebekcads479
      @kelebekcads479 Рік тому +1

      She is the villain tho

    • @cardioandfriends
      @cardioandfriends Рік тому +3

      @@ItsMeVolatility oh no! I'm finna jump off a bridge!

  • @TheRetsekShow2236
    @TheRetsekShow2236 4 роки тому +494

    "... convinces me of the infinite mercy of God." Omg that is such a beautiful roast. Like music to my ears

  • @FumblsTheSniper
    @FumblsTheSniper 4 роки тому +1734

    There is a wonderful channel called “KrimsonRogue” that is going over this book. First part was about an hour and a half and maybe covered the first quarter of the book.

    • @arontavares5248
      @arontavares5248 4 роки тому +146

      Nah, it only covered the first 3 or 4 chapters out of... 40, I believe?
      We're in for a long ride on this one. Strap in, bud.

    • @ahardworker2154
      @ahardworker2154 4 роки тому +113

      Poor bastard

    • @TheJuliana0901
      @TheJuliana0901 4 роки тому +111

      Oh no. That poor man. I already watched him suffer so much

    • @MrHangman56
      @MrHangman56 4 роки тому +43

      oh i just started watching his reviews of this. they're hilarious

    • @thehermit8618
      @thehermit8618 4 роки тому +188

      @@MrHangman56 and he isn't just dragging Norman through the mud (mostly). Krimson is actually providing real constructive critcism and explaining why the set-up, plot and prose of Norman doesn't work; giving us valuable lessons of what NOT to do if we ever want to write a book.
      As a serious novel? Empress Theresa fails in pretty much every way
      As a case study of how not to write a novel? Its a marvelous example and from Norman's mistakes (which there are a lot) and Krimson's insight you can learn much

  • @strawberrylemonadelioness
    @strawberrylemonadelioness Рік тому +22

    This is one of my favorite Down the Rabbit Hole Videos to come back to. I watched through KrimsonRogue's review videos of it a few times and it's just a wild book. The funniest thing to me is the government thought of Theresa as so much of a threat they put her in a helicopter and planned to set off an atom bomb to make sure she died, but she made a floatation device out of plastic coke bottles and jumped out of the helicopter to survive.

  • @markus-a-railius
    @markus-a-railius Рік тому +6

    Your voice is soothing so I was listening to this while trying to sleep. The utterance of 'Christian Weston Chandler' shocked me awake like I was having a nightmare.

  • @Matheus-ki9zo
    @Matheus-ki9zo 4 роки тому +630

    _"rejected a hundred ideas over the years, keeping only the very best"_
    Which turned out to be the very worst

    • @stormisuedonym4599
      @stormisuedonym4599 3 роки тому +61

      Don't say that. We don't know what his other ideas were.

    • @Ramsey276one
      @Ramsey276one 3 роки тому

      @@joeiTV Painfully accurate
      XD

    • @Ramsey276one
      @Ramsey276one 3 роки тому +5

      @@stormisuedonym4599 And I NEVER want to know, TYVM
      XD

    • @slevinchannel7589
      @slevinchannel7589 3 роки тому +2

      Hahaha.
      This Theresa-Propaganda inside the books
      is so exorbitant that I'm inclined to
      think that all this is real and was just
      wiped from everyones Memory using Alien-Tech!
      And now someones tries to bring her back and make
      Propaganda for her!

    • @notveryintelligent6239
      @notveryintelligent6239 Рік тому +1

      This was definitely his first idea 💀

  • @BringYerOwnBomb
    @BringYerOwnBomb 6 років тому +484

    "This new cover took him three months to paint."
    Oof

    • @corganfaller5579
      @corganfaller5579 5 років тому +34

      I want to assume it's from when it was started to finish. Not the time he worked on it. It "takes me a week" for a painting, even if there's a 5 day gap where I do nothing to it.

    • @TheCorrodedMan
      @TheCorrodedMan 5 років тому +10

      My sister paints better in a handful of hours then this guy does in months.

    • @blackishpariah
      @blackishpariah 5 років тому +7

      My dog paints in a handful of hours many more moose than select northern states.

    • @greatpower6063
      @greatpower6063 5 років тому +1

      lol Three months he never got back. I'd be angry too.

    • @PastelRay
      @PastelRay 5 років тому

      I could do this paint better in an hour with my left hand

  • @LiamMazeika
    @LiamMazeika 3 роки тому +35

    Is it wrong that I kinda love the covers? They're so terrible that they end up being completely unique and interesting all over again.

  • @aflibbertigibbet
    @aflibbertigibbet Рік тому +22

    I actually think Norman would have a wonderful career as an "Outsider" visual artist. I genuinely love his sense of composition and feel like it could do great with the right art market spin. Look no further than Henry Darger and his Vivian Girls to see the parallels.

  • @R0230R
    @R0230R 5 років тому +350

    So basically, Empress Theresa is a what if: the Ultimate Mary-Sue existed.

    • @Maksie0
      @Maksie0 5 років тому +68

      You might even say she's the Virgin Mary Sue

    • @HeroAndReporter
      @HeroAndReporter 4 роки тому +14

      Maksie0
      Take this...
      *Gives a like*
      And get out!

  • @Azraile
    @Azraile 5 років тому +556

    Sounds like this guy really really really wished he WAS Theresa.

    • @suezuccati304
      @suezuccati304 5 років тому +74

      That's why she is such a Mary Sue, it's just a power fantasy fulfillment.

    • @justas423
      @justas423 4 роки тому +7

      @Rachel J it's like R rated freaky Friday.

    • @timmaximilian9286
      @timmaximilian9286 4 роки тому +44

      Azraile Kiras i think its more that he wrote about his dream waifu

    • @bachpham6862
      @bachpham6862 4 роки тому +6

      @@timmaximilian9286 So basically the Ice King in Adventure Time?

    • @sweetpotatofries99
      @sweetpotatofries99 4 роки тому +6

      *heavy breathing* Theresa is a good girl... Such a veerry goooood giiiiiiiirrrrlllll...

  • @dolores111
    @dolores111 8 місяців тому +30

    Unpopular opinion but I think the covers are actually kinda fire. They have an uncannyness I really enjoy. Norman never intended that effect, but still

  • @None-Trick_Pony
    @None-Trick_Pony 3 роки тому +213

    I'm a Christian. My brother will insult my religion and tell me I'm wrong, making arguments without letting me rebutt them if it is brought up. In history, Christians did awful things in the name of "God" (see the Spanish Inquisition). Somehow, above all of this, Norman has become the single biggest insult to my religion. For pulling off this incredible feat, he has my respect.
    EDIT: My brother has chilled out almost completely. We don't have problems with that anymore.

    • @slevinchannel7589
      @slevinchannel7589 2 роки тому +3

      To your info:
      Krimson Rogue,
      Cynical Reviews,
      and Both of them Together,
      have made each multiple Videos
      about Empress Theresa
      and they are very enjoyable...

    • @None-Trick_Pony
      @None-Trick_Pony 2 роки тому +19

      @@slevinchannel7589 I can't tell you how many times I've watched Krim's Empress Theresa saga. They're great.

    • @slevinchannel7589
      @slevinchannel7589 2 роки тому

      @@None-Trick_Pony Indeed.

    • @slevinchannel7589
      @slevinchannel7589 2 роки тому

      @@None-Trick_Pony Literally just now, i found a 2 hour long video from a channel i didnt knew five minutes ago:
      'Bean Daddy Mandela'.
      I really wanna give it a chance BUT HOLY FLUFF, THE MICRO IS A MESS!
      Its hard to listen... just hard to listen to their voices... Am i a prick for having a problem with that?!

    • @slevinchannel7589
      @slevinchannel7589 2 роки тому +1

      @@None-Trick_Pony Oh! I just found someone else who read massively much BUT unlike Krimson and Cynical Reviews,
      that Person is a MASTER VOICE ACTOR!
      Hes great to listen to.

  • @SandraThePhox
    @SandraThePhox 6 років тому +601

    I think a story about a seemingly normal young girl getting powers to influence every thing she wishes in reality, and slowly growing abusive and more controlling and narcissistic would have been a much better fit for the author.

    • @IsmailofeRegime
      @IsmailofeRegime 6 років тому +81

      It also would have been better at discussing morality and how Catholics should interact with society, rather than just "good Catholic girl uses powers for good."

    • @eriktruchinskas3747
      @eriktruchinskas3747 6 років тому +26

      tecdog15 soooo akira?

    • @leongkinwai9709
      @leongkinwai9709 6 років тому +42

      It would straight up be a more interesting concept/plotline than what is implied this book actually is.

    • @lastswordfighter
      @lastswordfighter 5 років тому +18

      Dude this author can so be trolled by swapping out images of Thersa for when Satan was depicted as a spoiled teenage girl on South Park.

    • @deviantartguy0
      @deviantartguy0 5 років тому +1

      I've only seen a similar idea in a Japanese hentai manga I quickly lost interest.
      NOT EVEN MORE PROPERLY DRAWN BOOBIES MAKES THIS IDEA BEARABLE!

  • @richardgadberry8398
    @richardgadberry8398 4 роки тому +593

    So, this guy wrote a Kim Yo-Jong fanfic before the world even knew who in the blue hell she was.

    • @Ramsey276one
      @Ramsey276one 3 роки тому +19

      The English dib of Dictator-chan!
      XD

    • @slevinchannel7589
      @slevinchannel7589 3 роки тому +11

      Theresa really made herself, with her 18 Years old
      and Catholic Background, the Center of S-Jokes?
      While on Camera? With the biggest Audience ever?
      Wow.
      This Author is a Shame. A Shame just for tha alone.

    • @Penguinmanereikel
      @Penguinmanereikel 3 роки тому +17

      Actually, apparently, it’s supposed to be a fanfic of Joan of Arc

    • @user-saraswatidevi
      @user-saraswatidevi 3 роки тому +2

      LMAOOOOOOO

    • @slevinchannel7589
      @slevinchannel7589 2 роки тому +3

      @@user-saraswatidevi To your info:
      Krimson Rogue,
      Cynical Reviews,
      and Both of them Together,
      have made each multiple Videos
      about Empress Theresa
      and they are very enjoyable.

  • @ShinyMcshine
    @ShinyMcshine 3 роки тому +7

    rewatching this in 2021. my favourite part is when norman defends his book by quoting characters from his own book.

  • @NorthernRealmJackal
    @NorthernRealmJackal Рік тому +9

    The quote about infinite mercy (4:25) is high class poetry. Probably also ten times more eloquent than any sentence found in Empress Theresa.

  • @Firstbase-kw6rg
    @Firstbase-kw6rg 4 роки тому +847

    That comment about Norman “not knowing where breasts belong” reminds me of the cover for a history textbook I had, where one woman had her breast hanging out of her right armpit.

  • @Loomismusic
    @Loomismusic 5 років тому +480

    "Powerful but harmless" - that actually sums up a lot of female characters in popular fiction. Genius. That kind of blew my mind.

    • @SovietRipper
      @SovietRipper 4 роки тому +89

      Anime is full of female characters that could destroy the world if they wanted but they can't do shit without the Protag, who for most of the story tend to be weaker than the over powered female co protagonist

    • @nxgan1088
      @nxgan1088 4 роки тому +10

      Ok weebs.

    • @michal31131
      @michal31131 4 роки тому +11

      In the book she's literally Anything but harmless.

    • @alphavolta5038
      @alphavolta5038 4 роки тому +4

      What does this even mean? How is that genius?

    • @dariusallison5333
      @dariusallison5333 4 роки тому +16

      I think a character being powerful but harmless would be bad writing because to be harmless you can’t be capable of harm and being powerful inherently means you’re capable of some kind of harm. What would make sense and has been a classic human tale is a character being powerful but peaceful. Being harmless isn’t a choice it’s a condition, to be peaceful is to be someone who could cause harm but is actively deciding not to.

  • @brunobucciaratiswife
    @brunobucciaratiswife 3 роки тому +43

    He's almost as egotistical as Chris-Chan...
    Thinks his work is flawless despite it making no sense and coming across as creepy... And he thinks that criticism is a personal attack.

    • @Mario87456
      @Mario87456 3 роки тому +1

      In Norman’s case it’s somehow WORSE

    • @slevinchannel7589
      @slevinchannel7589 2 роки тому +1

      @@Mario87456 To your info:
      Krimson Rogue,
      Cynical Reviews,
      and Both of them Together,
      have made each multiple Videos
      about Empress Theresa
      and they are very enjoyable.

    • @Nameless-ln5mr
      @Nameless-ln5mr 2 роки тому +1

      Norman also has this obsession with Jeanne D’Arc/Joan of Arc. In that book, and in an essay, he ranted about how Jeanne couldn’t have burned to death, and that she does have a corpse leftover somewhere. He’s so obsessed with that woman, that he did not want to accept the fact that she died a painful death, and got reduced to a pile of ashes!
      If I remember correctly, on the last of Krimson Rogue’s videos about that book, I, or someone else, made a comment about the game Fate/Grand Order, and how it created an evil knockoff of Jeanne who wanted to use an army of dragons to commit genocide on all French people in retaliation for not saving the real deal when she was marked for execution. The reason this comment was written? Well, the mere fact that Jeanne Alter, an evil version of Jeanne D’Arc exists, would anger Norman to no end, since she’s not a “good Christian girl”!

  • @serene1172
    @serene1172 6 місяців тому +7

    The best thing that can be said about the cover art is that it isn’t AI generated

    • @Sxcheschka
      @Sxcheschka 6 місяців тому +3

      AI generated would have been infinitely better anyways.

  • @justas423
    @justas423 4 роки тому +285

    Norman's ego makes Gilgamesh look like a humble saint.

    • @Thedodogos
      @Thedodogos 4 роки тому +40

      And Gilgamesh had the skills to back up his ego.

    • @TheBonkleFox
      @TheBonkleFox 4 роки тому +4

      hey don't insult Greg like that!

  • @SauteedJosh
    @SauteedJosh 5 років тому +712

    Criticism is required for every writer. Yes, sometimes it can suck to see something you put a lot of heart not turn out too well, but that’s part of the process! Constructive criticism can do wonders!

    • @xSeBauTx1248
      @xSeBauTx1248 4 роки тому +12

      I'm enough autistic for difference constructive comments to trolling comments.

    • @dylantrobaugh4999
      @dylantrobaugh4999 4 роки тому +15

      I say this a lot
      If you can't take criticism you will fail

    • @ZrankFappaH
      @ZrankFappaH 4 роки тому +28

      Dylan Trobaugh Most people don’t give a fuck about being constructive. They want to tell someone they’re a fat useless piece of shit and how much they suck. Chris Chan proved this. People could’ve just not trolled him and blackmailed him to the point of pure mental deterioration. Trolls are fucking scum.

    • @JojonathanOliveira
      @JojonathanOliveira 4 роки тому +20

      I totally agree with this, most people just wanna thrash others, take as example the movie The Thing, the critique was so harsh it drove John Carpenter into depression. among the things professional movie critiques said are:
      1) "It is too phony to be disgusting. It qualifies only as instant junk."
      2) "an exercise in abstract art"
      3) "a great barf-bag movie"
      4) "It's my contention that John Carpenter was never meant to direct a science-fiction horror movie. Here's some things he'd be better suited to direct: traffic accidents, train wrecks and public flogging."
      This is anything but constructive, and it came from professionals mind you, now imagine what random trolls on the internet can say.

    • @ZrankFappaH
      @ZrankFappaH 4 роки тому +11

      Jonathan Totally true and sad points! Hollywood is evil. Trolls are evil. Both are free to blackmail, extort, mentally destroy a person; with no repercussions.

  • @randm4246
    @randm4246 Рік тому +27

    Update from 2023: Norman now is a head writer for Disney / Marvel.

  • @damonrichardson1999
    @damonrichardson1999 Рік тому +23

    If this guy could publish his story, I think I can publish my stories too. I've worked on mine since I was 8, and it's been a dream of mine to author my ideas and publish them once they're all polished. This story is oddly inspirational. Not cause the story is good, simply because it gives me courage to put my work out there.

    • @CollegeDroputPowerpoints
      @CollegeDroputPowerpoints 9 місяців тому

      Honestly go for it. I managed to publish a novella and right now im working on a full novel, just so I can say I did it.

  • @hdofu
    @hdofu 5 років тому +278

    "Worked on the novel for 20 years, rejected a 100 ideas... keeping only the very best" Wow that trash can must have been something for the nose.

    • @arandompasserby7940
      @arandompasserby7940 4 роки тому +18

      I'd love to read what some of those ideas were.

    • @Janx14
      @Janx14 4 роки тому +4

      @@arandompasserby7940 Seriously, it'd probably sell better than the actual book.

    • @kritische3959
      @kritische3959 4 роки тому +2

      Hdofu Fox
      He had, indeed, wrote from the heart and not from the brain.

  • @javiinkling695
    @javiinkling695 4 роки тому +389

    Theresa makes Ebony look like a clever and complex character

    • @nicholaslienandjaja1815
      @nicholaslienandjaja1815 4 роки тому +52

      And she makes Sonichu look more like Arceus in comparison.

    • @DarylStreete
      @DarylStreete 4 роки тому +34

      I have watched seven and a half hours of krimsonrogue trying to struggle through this book and I can confirm that Theresa is far worse than Ebony. She's the worst character to ever dribble out of the brain of a human being.

    • @illulamati4651
      @illulamati4651 4 роки тому +51

      @ shes a character in my immortal, which is largely considered the worst fanfiction ever written. it's horrendous. i absolutely recommend it.

    • @laurarumpe6186
      @laurarumpe6186 4 роки тому +13

      Oh my goodness. Not Enoby

    • @ineedabetterpfp2485
      @ineedabetterpfp2485 4 роки тому +36

      cherry gems “it’s horrendous. i absolutely recommend it.”
      What a powerful line.

  • @theautisticartist9370
    @theautisticartist9370 9 місяців тому +7

    I’m tempted to a write a fanfic deconstruction of this thing but I don’t want to get sued and this guy is totally someone who would do that

    • @brentbutler8563
      @brentbutler8563 Місяць тому

      As long as it's parody, you're safe. And you can do nothing in connection with Norman's piece of trash that wouldn't be parody.

  • @415-k1ub
    @415-k1ub 9 місяців тому +8

    5:37 The rest of this review is amazing. It praised the book for being so magically useful for everything except as reading material. It ends with the reviewer providing tips on how to use it as a fuel for fire.

  • @drenchedinsyrupp6059
    @drenchedinsyrupp6059 7 років тому +570

    Fredrik is like a private investigator. He finds out so much info so fast, and the music makes it sound like he's in a 50's crime movie.

    • @Doombringer_r
      @Doombringer_r 6 років тому +2

      I know right?

    • @jlprizm
      @jlprizm 6 років тому +3

      I was thinking this too. How does he know so much about these people?

    • @audreymuzingo933
      @audreymuzingo933 6 років тому +3

      This is only the 3rd video of DTRH I've watched since discovering it last night; the other two were the Mouse Eutopia Experiments and Collyer Brothers, both pretty fascinating historical stories, and well-told by Knudsen. So I subscribed and just from looking at other titles I don't think I'll regret it. But this Empress Theresa one was a head-scratcher. I watched the whole thing, basically a play-by-play of the sort of internet art validity debates that happen all the time. And nothing more?
      I kept thinking there would be a punchline, a payoff of some sort. It would turn out that most of the author's critics were actually him, and the controversy resulted in him getting filthy rich from sales of his bad book. Or it would be revealed that the book was written by a world-renowned author, as some kind of experiment, or evidence that he had lost his mind. Or various forms of evidence would suggest the book was written by Donald Trump, LOL! Something like that.
      But no, the story basically ends with the inability of people to comment on the book anymore, and that's all folks! --It doesn't even offer details like how many copies were sold, or much of who this guy really was, only the claims he made about himself. If his interactions with people online was so interesting, didn't anybody try doing some deep research on him? Is he still alive? There's something very 'meta' about this sensationalizing video about the sensationalizing of a lousy book.

    • @oddkoe808
      @oddkoe808 6 років тому +4

      Yeah, the way the video progresses, and the music; it feels like a crime noir. Lol

    • @audreymuzingo933
      @audreymuzingo933 6 років тому +1

      Saransh LOL, the word 'punch' being part of 'punchline' is no accident; it means the amusing conclusion of the setup, something 'punchy,' something 'BAM.' A 15-minute description of a 40 year failure whose public aspect just fizzled out at the end....that's the opposite of a punchline. The way the video plays out feels very much like a lead-up to something that would make the tedium worthwhile. Even you admit you expect something else.

  • @JoelRiter
    @JoelRiter 7 років тому +3459

    So this is what Digital Homicide would look like if the guy wrote books instead, interesting

    • @kevincass9917
      @kevincass9917 6 років тому +121

      And had an obsession with Christianity.

    • @kevincass9917
      @kevincass9917 6 років тому +58

      *facepalm* Catholicism is Christian... It's a sub-section of Christianity, like Lutheranism and Protestantism.

    • @kevincass9917
      @kevincass9917 6 років тому +7

      No trouble! Though, it is pretty crazy that he wrote this story and so vehemently defends it.

    • @Secundussy
      @Secundussy 6 років тому +64

      JoelRiter I don't know. Digital homicide merely desired money, whereas Norman invested so much time and effort into the book that he couldn't accept failure.

    • @TheImpossiBelle
      @TheImpossiBelle 6 років тому +40

      I'm not quire sure either, but in the opposite direction. It's not like Norman sued (unsuccessfully) his biggest critic, or subpoena Amazon for information on anyone that left a bad review to take THEM to court as well. Norman may have made a shitty book that he defends vehemently, but at least it was original-shittyness and not just an asset flip that had less cutting and pasting than the original Empress Theresa cover...

  • @gyroscopicjester5454
    @gyroscopicjester5454 Рік тому +18

    This guy is either completely insane or a friggin genius at marketing, because I 100% want to read this book now, even knowing it’s sucks.