Are You and Your Partner Compatible? What If Not? How Compatibility Strengthens Attachment Bonds
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- Опубліковано 21 лют 2024
- Are You and Your Partner Compatible? What If Not? How Compatibility Strengthens Attachment Bonds
Alan Robarge, Attachment-Focused Psychotherapist
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I adore you. Your videos give me so much clarity. I appreciate how emotionally articulate you are and how much attention to detail you bring to the nuances of relating.
YES! I was going to leave a similar comment.
I appreciate the kind words.
Its a very uncomfortable situation. Thanks for touching on this topic
I hear you and if you only knew how many of us can relate. You're welcome.
This is so great. You rarely find anyone that can flow like you can. It flows together so well.
I appreciate the kind words and I'm glad this video was helpful.
This is very helpful to me.
Been in an anxious Avoidant relationship for 6 years. We are not compatible and I'm finally giving it up. This explains so much. Thank you
Thank you for sharing this was helpful and I hear you.
So glad to see you posting again after your hiatus a while back. Your channel is SO helpful, especially for someone who doesn't have regular access to mental healthcare.
That's so great to hear the videos are helpful for you and thanks for the kind words. I want to share you may also like taking the relationship quiz. www.healingattachmenttrauma.com/iyr_quiz_2
Love your videos, Alan. So helpful and healing!
Thank you.
I have watched maybe a dozen of your videos and I have gotten something useful out of each one. I have never felt so seen and heard, and today's insight is something I will bring to my own therapy session this week. Thank you so much for making this and all the videos you have shared!
Thanks for the feedback. I'm glad to hear this video was helpful.
Yet again, you speak to a large part of my own experience. Thank you for putting so much of your own experience and understanding into words that many of us have felt but have been unable to verbalize.
What I learned, eventually, is that it is not on the "other" to heal us. We have the ability to heal within our own grasp, and each of us owes it to ourselves to find that healing. Certainly, that experience of closeness, intimacy, and resonance is really only achieved with another person present. Still, the healing is what we do inside of our own selves so that we can have an opportunity to experience that closeness and intimacy with someone else.
Thank you for the meaningful comment and great insight. I'm glad you connected with this video.
Amazing insight as always! Thank you so much for these videos :)
Oh thank you, glad the videos are helpful. Also check out the relationship quiz. www.healingattachmenttrauma.com/iyr_quiz_2
Another amazingly helpful video. Thank you!
Glad to hear that. You're welcome.
Spot on Alan! Thank you
You're welcome. Glad this video was helpful. I want to share you may also like to take the relationship quiz. www.healingattachmenttrauma.com/iyr_quiz_2
So grateful for your videos they've been so helpful on my journey of understanding myself and becoming more emotionally healthy. Thank you ❤
Thank you, I'm glad the videos are helpful for you.
Thank you, so much, Alan!❤
You're welcome.
This is helpful. Thank you for this.
You're welcome. Glad this is helpful.
Thank you so much for these videos
You're welcome. Glad you like the videos. I want to share you may also like to take the relationship quiz. www.healingattachmenttrauma.com/iyr_quiz_2
Thank you for sharing this video with us, Alan 🤗I appreciate the fact that you don't compartmentalize the behaviors you mentioned into particular attachment style(s), and instead explains about them in a holistic manner. As for continuity, I have revisited emotional moments in the past and expressed my gratitude or apologies for the other person. When communicating these feelings to the other person i.e. my partner, a friend, a family member, a colleague, was received with empathy, understanding and gratitude, I felt it strengthened our attachment bonds ❤ And when it wasn't, I understood we weren't compatible. I accepted this with radical acceptance and either ended, withdrew from our relationship or maintained it while calibrating my expectations.
You're welcome and I appreciate your feedback. Glad this video brought some inspiration for your relationship choices. I'm wondering also if you heard about the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships. It's so validating when others can relate to our situation. We learn so much from each other. Thanks again for your comment. www.healingattachmenttrauma.com/iyr_quiz_2
@@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma Thank you for your reply comment and intdroducing me to your community
This video was definitely the best one for me and my situation. I’ve been in a relationship for two years and I’ve had a really hard time trying to figure it out. This answered all my questions. This also has helped me decide do I stay or do I go. Thank you!!!
Glad to hear this video was helpful and brought you some clarity. I want to share you may also like to take the relationship quiz. www.healingattachmenttrauma.com/iyr_quiz_2?r_done=1
You are clear and honest. Thank you for the videos you shared. 🎉
The speed you are talking seem different or faster than before. Keep the speed that is comfortable for you because you are offering very valuable information and very pleasant to listen.
Thank you 🙏
Thank you for the kind feedback. I'm glad the videos are helpful.
Thank you, so very true. I question all of it.
You're welcome. Glad this is helpful.
Excellent.
Thank you.
Really balanced and insightful
Thank you.
This message came at the exact time I was seeking it 😊😊
Glad this is helpful.
This is so helpful... thank you
Great to hear this video was helpful for you. I want to share the relationship quiz as well: www.healingattachmenttrauma.com/iyr_quiz_2
Excellent!!!
Thank you.
He is so right
Thanks.
Welcome back! 😁
Thank you.
Hi Alan. Thanks so much for your videos, these posts provide me with not only insight- but also allow me to feel normal/okay in a way that I didn’t think was previously possible. You are a great calm to me in times of intense stress and worry. So thank you!
Quick question for you- what are some examples of the “creative grieving” one can do when in relationship with a partner who has a different attachment style? Maybe a video for the future?
Oh thanks so much for sharing the videos helped bring you some insight and calm. It's wonderful to hear when others resonate with what we share. Creative grieving is pretty personal and specific for each person. I remember when it came up in the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships. It's comforting when others can relate and we learn so much from each other. Thanks again for the kind feedback. www.healingattachmenttrauma.com/iyr_quiz_2
👏🏻 my question as well. What do we do going forward?
Thanks!
You're welcome. Thank you for the kind donation.
Could you plz do a video on rétroactive jealousy.
You have such a unique and simple way to explain things and to go deep the details.
Thanks for the kind words and for the video suggestion. Oh jealousy is a big topic to unpack. I remember when we mentioned it in the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships. It's validating when others can relate with what we share. Thanks again for the comment. www.healingattachmenttrauma.com/iyr_quiz_2
I am wondering if the same can be applied to friendships. I am thinking of leaving a long time platonic friendship because repeatedly this friend shows me they are incapable of and disinterested in the depth of emotional connection that i desire and require in my life. I am realising we are very different in our need for emotional conversation (I want emotional chats every day, they basically never talk about feelings) and therefore, perhaps we are incompatible.
That's great clarity that you know your need for deep emotional connection. It's helpful to learn about ourselves. We mentioned skills in communicating our needs in the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships. We learn so much together. www.healingattachmenttrauma.com/iyr_quiz_2
Another amazing video!
Thank you.
thank you for the video. are you able to do a video about maladaptive daydreaming? i really lost myself daydreaming about a future with him and his family, what we would do in the summer etc. so that when i finally was dumped, my world imploded. how do people stop daydreaming like this? it's hard to stop. i do this with any guy i like.
Glad you like this video and thanks for the question. You wouldn't believe how many of us can relate with the daydreaming. It makes me think about our different attachment wounds. I remember when we mentioned this in the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships. It's really affirming when others can relate and we learn so much from each other. www.healingattachmenttrauma.com/iyr_quiz_2
@@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma Thank you.
Just a serious question, not a provocation...Are there in the world man ( from their 30's to the 60's because it is my range of knowing) that are capable of emotional deep connection?
Not the majority though.
You can be incredibly attracted to the WRING person for marriage/ LTR. Don't tely on that.
Good insight.
I have no fucking idea if I'm compatible with my first girlfriend and now fiancee (I'm 35 and she's 10 years younger), with whom I'm in a LDR with. I guess we'll see how it goes after I tie the knot. 🎲😂