79 - Beyond "Yes": Breaking the Cycle of People-Pleasing as a Trauma Response with Matthias Barker

Sabrina sits down with Matthias Barker for a second time to dive into the detrimental effects of people-pleasing, a common trauma response where individuals regulate others to feel safe themselves. Unlike genuine empathy, people-pleasing stems from fear and often involves manipulation. Barker emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and confronting dysfunction rather than avoiding it, as true safety doesn't come from constant monitoring out of fear. He advises distinguishing between needs and anxiety, advocating for acceptance and mutual attunement in relationships. Personal experiences shared by both Sabrina and Barker highlight the necessity of building a solid relationship foundation, addressing big emotions, and helping partners express their needs authentically without resorting to people-pleasing behaviors.
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[@lbrar7173]

Sabrina, thank you for being so real and for being vulnerable and sharing your own stories/trauma.

[@shannonorlando7765]

I wish I could play 25. 00-28.00 on repeat. Thank you both!

[@christinazonneville6527]

Sabrina, You have helped me so much! I cant thank you enough for all the work you do to help and guide us to " Do the WORK" on us! you're a true Gem and deserve all the good this world has to offer!!

[@SilviaHernandez-lx4zz]

As I was listening this podcast and you were talking about the simple question "what do YOU want to eat" and the former people pleasing person answering "I don't know whatever YOU want " made me realize the former people pleasing persons has to relearn who he/she is , what you like, what don't you like, because before the focus was somewhere else. Insightful thank you❤

[@mihaelabornaz8607]

I would give it 1 mil likes if I could!!! Great great episode, and work in general ❤

[@RogersNikki]

Trying to stop this in romantic relationships as in most every other relationship I am not a people pleaser! I have confidence in all other relationships. Thanks for this!

[@andreascscs8124]

So appreciative of what you do, Sabrina 😊

[@couture1004]

"weird maternal soothing role" 😆👍🏻