Wife Shuts Down When We Talk About Her Weight
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- Опубліковано 7 жов 2024
- Wife Shuts Down When We Talk About Her Weight
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He said she wasn’t eating when they met. That’s not normal either. She obviously has issues with food.
Yeah, they just glanced over that detail. Not eating is a huge deal and is not normal.
The husband mentioned that she was not eating due to poverty habits, ie lack of income to spend on food so that had become her eating style to get by. They are well past this point. Many people survive with a meal a day, a great amount of people are malnourished. He does mention disordered eating but the mental health is more likely the issue.
seems like he's stressing her out and she's eating more
Yeah it made me wonder if she wasn’t eating due to poverty, an eating disorder, or just thinking it was normal not to eat much. Maybe now she’s eating an actual healthy amount since getting married and feeling secure, but the changes in her body are scaring her. Obviously I don’t know her situation, but that sentence definitely jumped out at me as having a lot to do with her current weight gain and mood change
It could be she could not afford the meal plan. When I was in college, I worked the first 2 semesters as a live-in maid. When I was on campus, I would take pickles and bread from the lunch area. The lady in charge would just look the other way. Bless her!
Wife has her life falling apart, husband calls about her gaining weight.
Meanwhile, he's overweight! She accepted him at 300lbs. 😂😂
You completely missed the point of the call. He's calling because her weight gain is affecting HER mental health. He actually says he's still attracted to her but she's obviously unhappy with herself and that's what he is concerned about, not her weight directly. He has accepted her and her weight, she hasn't accepted herself and is depressed.
So many people including you completely missed the point of this call and simply want to jump to being offended.
@@dukekessler6292sounds like the weight gain is a symptom of her mental health not the other way around.
Someone needs to learn how to listen
you have no listening skills. he is calling bc it’s affecting her mental state and he wants to help. it’s not for selfish reasons.
@@Lilliz91|| it is you’re totally right BUT now the weight gain is another add on for her.
I thoroughly recommend going for 30 - 40 minute evening walks together. Good for conversation, keeping diabetes at bay, witnessing the sunset while exercising will help sleep and as a result cortisol levels. Walking is the easiest and best exercise for everybody
It’s majority diet lol. Walking isn’t going to do much on its own
@@sjejsj7615exactly. What you put into your body is definitely the most important and effects weight loss.
@sjejsj7615 need both. Be active and eat right for long term mental well being. Fatty greasy foods and sugar only temporarily make depressed people happy then they feel like crap again so keep going back to it calling it a disorder or mental health problem when they are trashing their body and it's the bodies natural response to poor eating and habits
@@sjejsj7615no matter how good the diet, it won’t work if sleep isn’t adequate (quality and quantity) and cortisol levels are high. Walking is the best exercise for most people but particularly for those out of condition.
@@fwebster6226 not true in the slightest. If a person can’t even get 6 hours of sleep then they are the problem for lack of scheduling. Cortisol does not mean anything in this particular situation. Walking is not the best exercise at all, Lifting weights is. You might be old which is why you have so much struggles
If your partner is having issue with weight and you also are overweight, lead by example. Have dates where you're walking outside with each other and talking. Make healthy meals together. If she's family things going on, shes more focused on her brother than pouring into her cup. Help alleviate it by taking over for things.
What a great answer. A man should lead.
@@john1425 a leader leads by example and youll support your wifes efforts as well as your own thats real love
That’s great advice!
I do that. Lost 40 pounds as my wife continuously shamed and hated on me as she gained more and more weight. I shouldn’t have to “lead by example” you should want better for yourself and your husband. Plain and simple.
@@ceelothatmane9421 Damn!
The amount of men who are fat but have the nerve to gripe about their partners weight is mind boggling
And then they try to hide behind being concerned about health. Lol
Attraction is not symmetrical.. it’s actually asymmetrical.. ladies overwhelmingly are attracted to a mans mindset and how he carries himself first. His physical appearance is auxiliary.. men don’t bring beauty to the table first as there initial asset. Women however do bring beauty to the table first.. and then want to be loved for everything outside of her beauty. Her main agency is beauty ask any man that’s what they care first then everything else is the formula to a great dynamic. You two are comparing 1 for 1 beauty for handsomeness. They are weighted no pun intended differently across a relationship
@@Spartainlaw Yeah, we're just talking about hypocrisy here. Not who is allowed to be fat or not. Men overwhelming marry "mid" women who are aligned with their values and match how they want to be served/submitted to. Most mature men will admit looks are not as important as fitting into their lifestyle and matching their values.
@@Spartainlawwell if that's the case men shouldn't get upset when they go broke than women leave them cause let's be real women are attracted to men that provide.
@@Spartainlawhypocrisy much 😂? You think a wife wouldn't be more attracted to a healthy husband opposed to an really overweight one ? Y'all are deceiving yourselves
I gained 27 pounds in 2 months due to 6 different medications I was taking for Long COVID in 2022. I felt enormous and was not comfortable in my own skin. I know exactly how she feels. Fortunately, I stopped my meds and dropped 20 pounds over 4 months in 2023 and am much happier now. Doctors say to get a checkup if you've gained 10% or more of your body weight without explanation to see if there's an underlying medical reason for the weight gain.
So he's overweight "due to injury" and that's totally fine for him, but not for her? It sounds like he is eating too much himself. Perhaps the solution is healthier meals all around and not going out to eat. I wonder if he would agree to that...
The comments section is the perfect place to observe people with low IQs and a lack of emotional intelligence. They are literally unable to separate the messenger from the message. "How dare he worry about his wife's health when he himself is fat!". So by your logic, if I'm addicted to crack, I shouldn't give a warning or worry about others not making the same mistake. If I as a parent am poor, I can't want my kids to do better. If Hitler said that killing people is wrong, by your logic that message would be invalid because he killed people himself. What planet do you guys actually live on? And it even seems like you guys only have half a brain cell left since you can't even comprehend that the guy isn't complaining about her weight gain or saying he doesn't find her attractive. He's just trying to understand how he can help her because her weight gain is severely affecting her quality of life. He clearly states that she doesn't even have the will to go out anymore. In your half brain cells, how do you think can you solve her problem? ffs
He explicitly said in the video hes actively working on exercises to lose weight.
@@theveralanshow1170ok but is he just saying that or has he actually lost weight? We need Amber Reid bullcrap here.
I hereby sentence you to ten years of active listening reeducation because you only hear what you expect to hear. One wonders why God gave you ears at all
He could always exercise in a pool.
As someone went through this with my husband. I can say this advice is spot on. My husband was so loving and supportive but I needed therapy. I hope he takes the advice and she gets the help she needs.
One easy change that worked for me is to *not bring any ultra processed food* into the home. Ultra processed food causes weight gain, chronic fatigue etc. Whole foods take more effort to prepare but worth it. No sense going to the gym all the time if your diet is off.
She could be gaining weight because her diet changed drastically since moving it, especially if a lot of ultra-processed food has been added.
Bingo. Keep it out
.
I'd love to be a fly on that wall if she eliminated all his foods and went back to barely eating. LOL 🤣.
Sounds like both of them need to work together to fix this. Daily walks, weight lifting, eating whole foods (no processed food), and spending time together cooking and having fun. This is a team effort.
I understand being concerned with your wife’s health but I hate these dudes that get all worked up about their wives gaining weight. It’s part of life. My wife gained 50 lbs after two pregnancies and has lost all of it but I didn’t care one bit about her weight gain. She is my wife for life. I made a vow in front of god and everyone I care about that I would be take care of her in sickness and in health. She could be 400lbs and have one leg and she would still be my baby.
You are nice 😊
Finally, a guy who gets it.
As a wife my husband is like this and it actually makes me want to put in all my effort to look my best for him because he deserves it!
Will she feel the same when you lose your money?
@@kyleanuar9090 at one point before we got established in my career we lived in Kansas City. We had so little money and we used every bit of it to buy food and we only had one bowl. my wife would eat and then I would rinse the bowl out and then I would eat. When I met my wife, I had warrants out for my arrest, no drivers license or photo ID of any kind, thousands of dollars in debt, No car, and all I had was ambition. She fell in love with me when I had nothing and then 10 years later my money came and she is entitled to every damn bit of it. She is the reason I am successful. We are true pair.
Instead of calling in concerned about her mental health, he calls in concerned about her weight. Tells you everything you need to know.
Mic drop!!!!
It's the symptom he sees. He's consulting a professional based on that.
Honestly, it sounds like what Deloney said towards the end. He said that he told her to eat more, and he's overweight, she's gotta cook for her and him, and I think she just picked up some bad habits from him. Also, we don't even know how much weight she put on. It could be just 10 lbs or it could be 50lbs. So we don't even know if he's exaggerating. He's a pretty big guy himself and was making excuses about his own body. Sounds like he needs to take the plank out of his own eye first.
Amen if he truly loves her he would know her dress size weight range her stats. Hed know her well. I really hope hes not a covert narc because even if shes a supermodel hell still cheat.
Yo whattt?? He came for help on how to talk to her about something SHE is saying SHE is having an issue with. He said he hasn't given her advice, said he still thinks she's beautiful and loves her. Him not being back in shape yet is irrelevant, he has been trying and has extended an offer to her to see someone with him if she wants.
And it doesn't matter if he was exaggerating, he didn't say she was huge just she's gotten bigger and SHE has an issue with it.
I don't think there's anything wrong with either the husband or wife, both are going through things that just happen in life and are trying to figure their way through it. I heard no animosity or anything
Something most people don't seem to realize is that the body is always adjusting to what we do to it.
He said she was used to eating next to nothing. That guarantees that her calorie intake was low and if that was the norm, then suddenly eating three meals a day will definitely pack on weight. It takes time for the body to adjust metabolism UP to an increased level and down when we start habitually restricting calories (that's why diets work at first and then slow down progress and then stop working). Eating needs to be increased slowly over time (like +100 cals per day for a week, then +200 for a week, etc.) a little above resting metabolism levels.
@@danielbu2611 great another fit bro with good brain offering actual proper advice on how to lose weight get slim that both of them can use , counted 3 so far. Dont hide guys speak up we need intelligence here thank you
Cope
He seems like a great guy. I hope they can figure it out and grow healthier together.
Agreed they can still save it if he adjust his attitude and focus on his love for her the woman he married
Well, maybe not "grow," but yeah.
@@heartofpuregoldhe didn't sound disrespectful at all, what do you mean change his attitude. I don't think anyone is in the wrong or at fault here.
@@gloriousapplebees if you love someone you sacrifice. True love is about giving. The gift is you.
@@heartofpuregoldwhat do you mean calling out his wife? He never called her out. He only brought up her weight because she brought up that it was making it hard for her to enjoy her normal life.
Dr Deloney is such a good guy, genuinely cares about everyone, even the people he disagrees with
I shut down when people talk about my weight. I’ve struggled with body issues since I was 12 because I didn’t look like “how I was supposed to look like”. Now, at the age of 25, on a diet but more healthy, I still don’t want to talk about it. I feel ashamed. I delete pictures, I delete videos, and I still hate taking pictures of myself.
I also stay away from dating because last time I liked a guy, my cousin told me that he liked skinny girls. So, yeah.
Your body is how you interact with the people, places,and things you love. Being overweight compromises your ability to do this. That should be your main driver. I have patience who are overweight once they reach 50s 60s. The game is over. You’ll wake up in pain every day. The medication will help at first, but eventually it won’t. You will be trapped inside your home only able to transfer from your recliner helps you to stand up to the commode placed 2 feet away.
I grew up a chubby child and was not confident until high school when I lost a lot of weight. I ended up having a lot of medical issues since I was 18 and my body literally looks like Frankenstein nude. I have lost and gained weight so many times. I also had a 10 lb kid and my stretch marks are horrendous. I have two 8 inch scars in my public area from surgeries. I could have just forgone dating and getting married (3x lol) but I like men. So I made up for my physical issues by having an awesome personality and knowing a lot about everything to be a social person in any setting and with anyone. My point is you have to find people who RESPECT you for YOU and not what you LOOK like.
@@Mario-gp3htlol not over at 50. I stayed a pretty good weight and crept up slowly by 25 pounds. At 58 I said enough. Starting giving up sugar and walking for circulation and doing general strength. I lost 40 pounds ( 15 lower than wedding day) and can do pushups and squats. Never too old.
Stop eating junk food. You’re fat because you eat everything in sight
@@grainiac7824good for you, but there is absolutely a point of no return.
“300 lb man wants wife to lose weight”
“ loving husband wants his wife to enjoy life to the fullest and not be in pain”
@@Mario-gp3ht I agree with you but was kidding around; he sounds like he wants to change too which is good ❤️
Attraction is not symmetrical.. it’s actually asymmetrical.. ladies overwhelmingly are attracted to a mans mindset and how he carries himself first. His physical appearance is auxiliary.. men don’t bring beauty to the table first as there initial asset. Women however do bring beauty to the table first.. and then want to be loved for everything outside of her beauty. Her main agency is beauty ask any man that’s what they care first then everything else is the formula to a great dynamic. You two are comparing 1 for 1 beauty for handsomeness. They are weighted no pun intended differently across a relationship
@@Mario-gp3htI doubt this is a health thing for him. He just wants a prettier wife. Let's stop lying 😂. He just isn't being an ass about it.....
@@thewrongshoesWhat's wrong with that? 😂
Why would he complain about her weight gain if he is overweight? Sheesh
Fat people don’t want to be with other fat people 😂 Everyone wants a 10 💫
Didn’t you hear the call? He isn’t complaining about her gaining weight on itself or saying he doesn’t find her attractive. He is just trying to understand how to help her bcs her weight gain is affecting HER and their life as a consequence. He said she doesn’t want to buy new clothes she needs or even go out anymore bcs she doesn’t feel comfortable
Again...but it's ok for him to be fat???????@@eraldadevole
@@veritorossi I think some of you should listen again to the call and more carefully. At no point he said that, quite the opposite. When the doctor asked if he had ever suggested to his wife a type of diet or a workout whatever he said “oh no” and added “I’m big myself”.
Again, she’s the first one that is getting affected from her weight gain, to the point of not wanting to go out w her own hb and they haven’t even been married for that long to have this sort of freakin issues. Literally nothing wrong with his call. He is seeing her unhappy and insecure and is tryimh to understand how to help her.
Because significant weight gain in a shortish period of time is a sign of health issues or depression. He should be worried. Im a heavier woman & there's little as frustrating as listening to someone continuously moan about their weight while doing nothing about it.
Unsolicited advice: Go walking together every evening…. For 20 to 40 minutes… making sure you spend at least 5 of those minutes holding hands…. Strengthen intimacy and include physical activity as part of your daily routine!!!
Interesting advice, i ll definitely use it❤
I sincerely hope this family can learn to prioritize health 🙏🏾
Please mention the programs, meal options that are free so that others may access them. Really great call and so glad they are looking into answers.
Set the incline on 15 degrees and 2.5 speed for a half hour a day while you watch shows. A great way to get in shape without running. Hit whatever freeweights and machines possible at whatever weight works. Youll be surprised how good that works
See constructive criticism giving people tools advice on how to change and incorporate good habits.
I add she knows shes gained weight and he partner finds her ugly, because shes his partner and knows him well.
She shares her whole life with him. Its a change in habits for both of them and how about he leads by example it wont hurt will it?
Running burns the least amount of calories in all of fitness. Lift weights and lose weight. You can eat more with more muscle mass because that’s more calories needed to feed your muscles
@@ceelothatmane9421 Run and lift! Running helps me clear out my head and challenge myself to push faster; Lifting is something I'm doing for my future self.
The exercise that people enjoy is the exercise that they are most likely to be consistent about. Don't torture calories out of your body. Move in ways that make you feel good.
It’s just that simple , I don’t give people excuses. I was depressed as hell and working saved my mental and physical health.
@@heartofpuregold cardio in general. They studied the Hadza tribe in Africa who run climb and jump all day to chase their food and found that they burn no more calories than the average adult American. Regardless of what you’re saying, adapting your body to cardio does nothing in comparison to weight training. Your legs aren’t doing much muscle training by moving your own body weight.
When you focus on cardio your body is learning to adapt to caloric storage. It wants to hold on to calories because evolutionarily running and climbing means food shortage. Lifting weight burns considerable more calories at rest AND at work. This is just science
You can’t tell her anything- she knows - she’s mad and she hates it. She has to fix it herself
She has to actually do it though
Yes she has eyes too. It's not news to her that she's gained weight. Guaranteed.
but she will not
The first step to fixing a problem is admitting there's a problem. It's something she has to do herself out loud.
Ok, but she’s not doing anything about so what now?
57m here. At my cardiologist office a year and a half ago at 6'0 and 236 lbs. I was embarrassed and pissed at myself. Decided to do something about it. Cut soda out of my life completely. Period. End of discussion. No more breads, pastas and hyper-processed foods. Started doing push-ups at work. After 3 weeks I was busting out 300 push ups a day. The weight bled off. Got down to 197, and was feeling fantastic. It's all about what you eat, and how much you move.
This is why having your emotions in check is critical. Depression when I was a fat bassturd is an emotion. Determination to get off my fat ass and fix it is also an emotion. If you really want to this is fixable. One of life's most important questions is this......"How badly do you want it?"
With women it is different. I don’t mean to be rude but women’s bodies work different than men. To me this is very complex issue due to hormonal changes and other factors. As a women I work two jobs and due to premenopause I have struggled in ways I didn’t anticipate and I eat healthy and am very active. Don’t let personal bias cloud judgement towards others.
@@melissamace1177don't make excuses
@@melissamace1177ya might confuse them with facts. Hormones play a huge role in bodies (weight, emotions, muscles, etc) that isn’t always known outside womens health (and not properly within women’s health either). Good on you for understanding and trying to manage within that framework.
This is my type of comment! I’m super overweight and I had that moment of I’ve had it and I’m willing to do whatever it takes to get the weight off!!! I’m down 35 pounds so far and working on getting the rest off this year! The majority will be off by my birthday in July. You have to want to change so bad where you eliminate all your excuses. You life has to mean so much more than sleeping in, eating junk, and not taking care of you properly. ❤ good work sir! Your comment resonated. Oh and yes I am a women- I see women in here already making up excuses instead of changing their diets and hitting the gym 🫡
@@iamjessie.b Sometimes it isn't an "excuse" .... Wait till you are postmenopausal. Fun times ahead!
Old RN. 3rd & LAST time trying to comment.
#1 - LAB work & thorough evaluation by her primary care!
Maybe it was the website I was including that got my comment kicked out.
So here is a different way to say it.
If underlying physical issues are ruled out, people might find interesting SELF-assessment questions helpful. Good ones can be found if you do a search for overeaters anonymous.
If weight management was so simple & easy, then most of us would never struggle with it. Too many ppl think they know all the answers for others.
Thank you for this.
i wish i could send this to an ex of mine he was so mean about my weight even though he was also overweight when we met that I had no choice but to leave him
Hes an ex for a reason so jump for joy hes out now and stay beautiful.
Having a form of godliness but deny its power. Men and women are made in image of God. We need to respect our partner and vice versa.Marriage does not give a licence to abuse cheat or harm your spouse, so that is a narc abuser emotionally abusing you by calling you names and not offering to help you to overcome health and weight concerns. You should support your spouse to be their best and you will find a supportive partnership in every successfull marriage. They are also two imperfect people. Stand up for yourself and move forwards. They are not fit to be married to you , so God did you a big favour. God wants people to respect themself and their partner He made marriage as an extension of His own divine will. Look at the example of Christ and His bride. How does Jesus teach men and women to act in marriage and life not like the exes. Let them go.
@@LookinAtHim why ? Its tottally appropriate in the example of narcissistic partners who abuse their partners not offering help or leadership in the relationship. It starts from a small seed and grows into an evil tree.
I am talking about the image of God which men and women are made of.
Men was first , women came from his rib. They are mankind. There are definitely people that appear good to the outside world but could wifebasher, emotional abuser, financial abuser, peadophile or predator etc. They can be a priest a pastor teacher etc or an unassuming husband or partner. Emotional abuse aims to destroy a person with evil words piece by piece. Guage your partners reactiona when you speak are they drawing closer or further apart. Sometime a person can do nothing about their weight but it seems to be the only thing noticed about them either too fat, too thin. This is not genuine constructive criticism its deliberate abuse.
I will give you the example of Cindy Crawford one of the most beautiful woman ever live , at beginning of her career they call her fat. Can you believe? They even wrote songs about her beauty. Shes was probably normal weight as shes very tall, but yet the narcissist in the fashion industry made an issue of a non existent issue just to tear her down from envy. Cindy was a very resilient individual. She got in even better shape of her life and conquered fashion world. She didnt let anybody bring her down and when down she didnt stay down
Cindy is well educated, she studied science at university and she comes from a very close loving midwestern family. Shes from Illinois. Her daughter now models and is just as lovely as her mama. Cindy was blessed a lot of people are destroy by narcissistic abuse.
God says we are made in His image so again that means each one of us is unique and special.
The spirit of narcissism is a demonic spirit. It abuses people. The person who carries this spirit is demonic. Demonic is not part of God and that is why Jesus who is God in humanity cast out demons.
There is a spiritual side as well. If you dont believe me its okay, one day youll return and say well that fool was right after all.Good day
Attraction is not symmetrical.. it’s actually asymmetrical.. ladies overwhelmingly are attracted to a mans mindset and how he carries himself first. His physical appearance is auxiliary.. men don’t bring beauty to the table first as there initial asset. Women however do bring beauty to the table first.. and then want to be loved for everything outside of her beauty. Her main agency is beauty ask any man that’s what they care first then everything else is the formula to a great dynamic. You two are comparing 1 for 1 beauty for handsomeness. They are weighted no pun intended differently across a relationship
@@LookinAtHim yes ofcourse thats your opinion but she was married to Richard Gere , the original officer and a gentlemam and leading hollywood man at one time and was the most successfull American supermodel of all time. So who are you kidding are you vision impaired or you didnt live in the 90s? Google her.
@@Spartainlaw that is true for completely superficial people. Yes attraction is important part of relationship but it isnt just physical.
You can have the most handsome guy or girl with a mouth like a sewer spend 5 mins talking with them and you will not find them attractive at all. Its their character that keeps you in love with them. Bad charachter kills atttaction and intimacy quicker than fly spray kill a fly.
Woman and men will both look at appearances and finances as important in their reproductive years. Woman want a man who can protect her and provide for her and their offspring ,men look for a woman who can carry their offspring in childbirth and motherhood with a fertile body.
Middle aged people look primarily for companionship because they already got those things , ie 40 years and over.
I was dating a man who was 6’3”, over 300#, and he told me I had a pot belly. I’m 5’11”, I was like 165# at the time. The gall. Wont ever forget that. Calories in calories out, my brother. The nerve.
This is such a hard conversation to have 😕
It shouldn’t be though. If more people had open dialogue about ‘hard topics’ BEFORE they got married then this wouldn’t be that difficult to discuss.
It’s not though, if your wife or girlfriend or husband, or a boyfriend is fat, then you tell them exactly that and work on it and fix it together. There’s no easy way to go about it and the best way to do it is to be straightforward and not sugarcoat it. For example, my girlfriend is overweight and I told her that she’s overweight and that she needs to lose weight and we both work together and it works. Did she like that? I said that? No she didn’t but that doesn’t matter because the fact is she was overweight, and now she’s not.
This is a tough one. If my husband gained weight I probably wouldn't say anything, maybe give him smaller food portions. I don't know. It's hard. My husband would flat out tell me if I was fat, he knows I have thick skin.
I used to be 120, and now I am 160. I have a hard time keeping weight off because I overeat. I know that, and I just get too lazy to want to work out. My motivation goes up and down, and some people around me make me feel bad. So, I am an emotional eater, and I struggle a lot with it. I do understand his points, which is why I am not in a relationship because I want to make sure I am healthy mentally and physically. Because of my weight I don't really like to go out. This is why I want to get back into shape. I would feel more confident and comfortable.
I’m in the same boat. I was always around 115/120 and felt really confident there. Now, 160ish, mid 30s, and can only fit in sweats basically. It is very hard to become motivated to work out and eat/drink healthier.
@norse_cat Yes it is. I do keep trying though. I have a goal to lose 30 pounds by August. Possibly we can motivate each other by updating here every month. If not, I would be ok with that also. Sometimes we need a support team and it just might help us move forward. 😊
Hi 👋 this is me too! I have gone up and down forever, always been the soft bellied type. I am married, given birth to six full term babies in the past 16 years and I now have prolapse issues really bad so running is off the table, I can bike and walk though. Life is full of skinny people laughing and claiming they know how hard it is, when they have never been here. I need a support group too, my kids don't cut it neither does my fit hubby. I just need to watch my intake sugars and carbs.. and get moving. I had dropped 30lbs after my third baby and now three more pregnancies and post partums after and it's such a struggle. Finding me time is so different now and this phone is so addicting. But I really want to do myself better as I am sure you get! We can! Keep making those small long term lifestyle changes, we have to want it and the rest is history!!!! 🎉😅
@tool-nh8mk I am in my 30s also and I have a treadmill which is something I do plan to use. Possibly, doing 30 minutes 3 or 4 times a week just to start. I have a hard time with my food choices, to be honest. I live with some people who are not on the same journey so it can be a little hard with food, but I believe I can do it. We can do it. 😊
Don't bother ... dating isn't worth that.
It’s a shame an open dialog is not allowed in the comment section. Men’s concerns should also be heard and listened to.
Umm, I see a lot of men voicing their opinions. Also, hes fat too. 🤷♀️hes a hypocrite.
@@raydonovan9013I feel that the caller was very fair, had a well balanced approach and was willing to tackle his own issues first. He is just worried about his wife as it is clearly impacting her
Amen. A wife's weight is a valid concern as well
@@raydonovan9013 it sounds like you just described this guy's wife 😂
@@raydonovan9013 Women's bodies have to obey the basic laws of matter and energy just as much as man's body does. Men generally though are much more accepting that they are over-eating and take responsibility. Example? Trainer: You have not lost any weight, have you been eating as you were instructed. Oh yes, just as you said must be water weight or something.. Wait, well to be honest my girlfriends came over the other night and we finished off a whole coffee cake and two bottles of wine. I forgot all about that.
This is a value that should be discussed before marriage. Does the person you're with take the importance of being healthy for their life and yours seriously? Do you yourself practice that philosophy? Stay with your own kind in relationships. If you're a cheater, don't think you should be with a faithful person. If you spend recklessly, don't think you should be with someone who is financially responsible.
Etc...
Thank you.
Weight gain can and does happen to healthy people. Weight is not always the best indicator of health
@@jssfrk161It is a MAJOR indicator of health. Excess weight gain is the #1 cause of serious health issues. And people need to have a conversation about how seriously they take that before marriage & children.
I think if husband/wife is overweight and h healthy, it is perfectly fine to bring this up as a concern and something that they should change and work on together. Really it shouldn’t come down to weight or even appearance, but effort. If you have a wife who is slightly overweight, but she is eating great, working out regularly, and is overall a healthy person, that is an amazing. It’s not about the weight or appearance but it’s about the effort, and the overall health
Well said. Completely agree. I love the effort.
Good points
So wait. He’s overweight and calls about his wife who gained some weight? My Dad used to point out my Moms weight or any woman including me, she had an eating disorder. Died from it. He said she didn’t eat when he first met her. Alarm bells should be going off.
Pretty sure that’s why he recommended therapy
Weight is a tough one. Super easy to gain, super difficult to lose. And womens’ appearance are how they are often valued in society. Unless you really lead by example, idk how as a guy you’re going to have your wife to get in shape. They already are aware of what they look like.
Hard and uncomfortable conversations need to be done.
What?? I am a man and I eat over 3,000 calories a day and find it difficult to gain weight over an extended period of time. I weigh about 150lbs and am strong and 5”10 I undershoot it, i probably am 6’0 tall with shoes of any kind and women can’t lose weight. Why as a man would I want to be with a woman who weighs more than me???
@@NinjaKiwi12058 who is requiring you to be with a woman who weighs more than you?
@@NinjaKiwi12058a woman that weighs more than you is most likely overweight
Women’s appearance affect how they are treated in society? Literally nothing proves that
There's no way to have this conversation, even as someone who values fitness, if my partner made a negative comment about my weight I would never be able to feel comfortable around him again. This is a personal thing that someone either is willing to put the effort in or not. There is no amount of outside force that will make her care, unless it's out of pure anxiety and fear that she's about to be abandoned.
True. Many people have mental problems/insecurities that can't handle constructive criticism.
@@graybear7084 It's not really constructive though, it's just criticism. This is a personal issue that most people are well aware of, so you aren't really adding anything constructive. They just either value their own fitness or they don't, you can't make someone care about something. You can introduce fear and anxiety into their psyche but that's about it.
Sadly many people don't understand that.... Once that topic is brought up it's out there.
Although I agree that some people are self motivated and some are not to say nothing at all is essentially giving up on your partner. Sometimes tough love/criticism is necessary. Depending on the approach criticism absolutely can be constructive. I'm so blessed to have a husband that didn't give up on me as you suggest and introduced me to fitness. It wasn't easy but I pushed through and so glad I did. Life has never been better. By saying nothing at all you're just enabling your loved one to continue down that self destructive lifestyle.
@@rg337 You don't have to DAY anything and your husband pushing you would make others just shutdown. I'm very happy for your outcome.
400k! Congratulations 🎉♡🙏
They need to find an activity they both love and do it together. Try different things, swimming, ballroom dancing, pickleball! It's not about perfection, it's about doing life together in a way unique to them. I would also encourage her that buying a capsule wardrobe of larger clothes is temporary, she can donate them when she loses the weight.
Let's not overestimate the value of working out separately, though. I prefer to do my open-mouth breathing away from my spouse, lol. That and I don't want to run with my mate. I'm a lot shorter, and I get left in the dust. So we aren't running together so much as we are running simultaneously.
How about when you take your vows if you really mean them for better or worse. MY wife of 27 years died of breast cancer 2022 September she gained wait so dit I the point wasn't what we look like but are we happy. This is all so shallow to me
I can tell you I am 240 lbs and I know losing weight is very hard. But I do love to walk. I cannot run but I can walk for 2 hours about 5 miles at a time. Now that the days have gotten longer and the weather has gotten better I’ve been doing this after work because this is time to decompress and it’s time I’m not eating. This has been working for me. It doesn’t work for everyone but walking can be great for most people
I've been doing 2.5 miles at around an hour with the pupper each morning. I'd love to work up to 5 miles but I doubt I could do it. Don't know if my lab could hack it.
I am over 16 stone and walk daily plus swimming. Cant run due to my weight.
Nobody is allowed to speak about women being overweight, it’s as if we’re supposed to pretend it’s healthy to overeat. I get so annoyed when men or women get left by a partner and suddenly, they get a beautiful “revenge body” talking about "I am empowered, I am my best self". How did they suddenly manage to get this beautiful body but during their marriage could not take care of themself? Why do we feel it's okay to overeat, not present our best self to our partner (but more importantly, be our best self for ourselves)
just because we’re in a relationship? We do not have to put everything into our mouths just because we can. That goes for this caller too.
EXACTLY! THANK YOU! It's as though expecting your partner to have enough self respect to take care of themselves and be the best they can be is suddenly some sort of kick to the gut
I'd rather have an awesome revenge body and the peace of mind than deal with a bullshit relationship where my partners not attracted to me 🙄🙄
@@ulquiorraisawesomeyour partner would be attracted to you if you had that same body during thr relationship. Thats the point of the comment. Why these people let themselves go during a relationship. If you're in a relationship you should do your best to stay attractive. It's not your partners fault they lose attraction because you're the one overeating and not exercising
@@ulquiorraisawesome A narcissist will be jealous of you being slim so they want you fat and or unattractive as a way of controlling you and their insecurity because they know your better than them and can do better. They know your beautiful and cant cope with attention you get because they want it on them always. You dont deserve to shine with a narc only they do. To make themselves cope they keep you as unattractive and distracted as possible so you are constantly stressed plus add in abuse of all forms you will have health issues of which weight gain beyond normal is a symptom. You need to get away from the evil person you so you can breathe again. That is not husband or wife material so if you left them well done. Focus on you now. They are irrelevant.
Berry and mango people cheat bevause they are disloyal they will cheat even on a supermodel, On the contrary you cant keep a good man or woman down so Im very happy to see an oppressed person come back to normal after discarding a narc. Good for them.God bless all revenge body success is best revenge live your happy free life away from evil narc forever what you dont understand is a narc will.always cheat. They have no heart and soul got it
I tell my husband he needs to lose weight all the time, and I don’t just say it. I try to help him as best as I can cooking healthy meals etc. Am I a bad wife? I don’t think so.
I’m sure your husband feels ugly and unwanted.
If you are feeding him healthy meals at home then he is binge eating somewhere else. At work he might be snacking. Or after work going to the bar/pub and drinking his calories. He's not losing weight because his calories are coming from somewhere just not you.
These comments are a little disappointing for me. Is overeating unhealthy? 100%! Does that mean that criticizing your partner and calling them out directly is usually the way to go about things? Absolutely not. As the doctor stated, weight issues ESPECIALLY in women are extremely complex and many times we aren’t 100% in control of it. Hormones, stress, childbearing, and so much more can affect a lot. A good partner comes to the other with LOVE and understanding, not criticism.
I am a wife who cares about fitness and health and my husband has fluctuations all the time in weight. Never once do I try to control his actions. It is through both my unconditional love for him and his own decisions that he makes choices for his better health and improves. Never once have I allowed myself to believe his weight affects my attraction to him. He is the amazing person I love. And if we see a serious flaw moment in the other, we call it out. Key word MOMENT. If he’s overly obsessed with food for a moment, I will notice it and ask questions. But its not about weight. Its about being accountable and a good partner. These men in the comments talking about “mens issues matter too” implying that their choice to become unattracted to their partner based on her physical attributes is a valid trial is not right. Unconditional love folks, it does not seek its own. Theres a place for conversation always, and kind, loving openness. But its a conversation to EXPLORE TOGETHER rather than an “issue” to point the finger at someone with.
Being a man is not like being a woman...different set of chemicals. You don't know what it is like to experience attraction as a man. The way you describe it makes it sound like a choice. We are incredibly visual. It is not a choice. I wish I could just choose to be attracted at will. We can't. I have been in heartbreaking situations where I truly, truly loved the woman...but just could not feel attraction. I think both genders think they have a much better understanding of the opposite gender than they do. Obviously if I took massive estrogen injections I would experience MASSIVE psychological changes...so why would I assume I know what women feel like?
@@geometerfpv2804then you must admit you would have no idea what it would be like to be a woman who knew her husband wasn’t attracted to her. How her whole world would crumble. Sure he doesn’t have some eye candy for some brief moments, but if you told her all this she would be thinking about it every hour of every day and bit by bit she would slink further & further away
@@geometerfpv2804so I totally agree that would be awful to feel like you couldn’t be attracted to the woman you love and obviously that would be hard to talk about, BUT the flip side of that is that women are biologically designed to have HUGE fluctuations in weight and look because of childbearing and nursing, so I do believe to a certain degree men can work on their mental state to accept those changes as normal. Do I think that’s difficult and could take a long time? Absolutely. But I think that a lot of guys don’t completely accept this fact of women physiology and believe that just like if men work really hard results are gauranteed, the same is true for women. As a woman I can tell you that it’s emotionally difficult to want to work on my physique (I’m nog obese, I just had a baby last year) because I know that every time I try the results come so slowly. I think in general men and women can work on coaching themselves over time (sometimes a long time) into accepting these physical realities as normal so that health can be attained and relationships can stay strong)
Also, I’m a Christian so something that comes to mind that I was raised with is that husbands are told in the Bible to be gentle with their wives, love their wives unconditionally, and also to focus on “the wife of their youth” (a way of saying that as your wife ages to work on maintaining a strong relationship with a woman who you married when you were both younger). I do believe we can all invest in our relationships and improve them, and I believe even on the midst of a lack of attraction we can speak gently to one another
I’m struggling to love the best parents in the world. You plus the counselor will be able to help me.
Nothing wrong with him being concerned. It’s weird to get married and then start packing on the weight. You’ve got to be kind how you address it of course, since it’s a really hard/sensitive topic, but you shouldn’t just suffer in silence and wait for it to get very bad.
Getting and staying under 200 pounds as an almost 6 ft woman is a COW. Both me and my husband both lost 50 pounds in 2019. I had to start the process, but he was supportive no matter what weight I was. We both did it together, just like we gained it. Weight loss really is a full time job.
From experience, and as a long term sufferer of back, neck, knee, wrists and ankle injuries. I found Roller blading to be the fastest full body, low impact exercise for me to do, with fantastic and fast results, and a Glider/Strider for rainy days.
Also if my partner hit me up about seeing a therapist or anything similar, I would absolutely take offence to that. So unfortunately, this is the one time I have strongly disagreed with Delony's answer.
DOES JAY HAVE ANY SINGLE FRIENDS?! What a GREAT husband and an amazing man!! 👏🏼☺️
To the ladies: read a book called "fast like a girl"..... we need to fast and even work out around our cycles. Men do not understand what it takes to lose weight as a woman. Women are working against three hormones at various times of the month, while men only have one, which hits their brain every 15 minutes. Men do not have hormone fluctuations like us during a week/month.
"THE HORMONES!!!"
I assure you, you people bickering about hormones do not exercise, eat, or sleep nearly as well as you think you are
I sympathize with the pressure you feel about your weight. I wish you the best.
This isn't a competition about who has it worse. I know I've felt tons of pressure including from women I've dated to be lean and strong. Let's talk about how hard that is, being able to lift weights and have a strong physique, yet be lean so you can see abs. Do you know how hard that is? I've never put pressure on my gf to lose weight but I want them to be a healthy type weight and for them to feel proud of who they are.
Anyways. I hear ya faving your own variation of challenges. Best to you
If women understood then you wouldn’t need to recommend a book 😂❤
Hormones have almost nothing to do with it. It’s literally energy expenditure. Calories in calories out (energy in energy out) your hormones only determine where the excess calories go. If you’re in a deficit you WILL lose weight.
@@ceelothatmane9421 that's not true at all. Ask someone menopausal or a nursing woman about their weight gain or how weight loss goes. It is very hormonal. You have to adapt your food choices and timing accordingly. Intermittent fasting even becomes necessary.
“Are you at a place where you’re ready for your knees to stop hurting, your ankles to stop hurting……”
*145lb me after jiu jitsu, kickboxing, and lifting* YES, I AM READY!
I'm a fat runner and lifter and my knees and ankles have never hurt. Well, the ankle I've rolled has hurt. But I rolled it while jogging, lol.
I don’t believe in “lead by example” it doesn’t work. Fitness is something you have to want for yourself. Lost 40 pounds as my wife continuously shamed and hated on me as she gained more and more weight even when I try to provide more information to her give her tips. I even tried cooking her food for her. It’s never enough.
I shouldn’t have to “lead by example” you should want better for yourself and your husband. Plain and simple.
Agreed. My wife and I started the gym January 2023. She gave up after two months and I'm still at it. 43 and look the best ever. She never put in real effort, just sat on the bike for 45 minutes and maybe a little rowing. Tried to get her to join my hybrid burpee routine and that lasted a minute or two. Most people can't get through the suck stage and realize it will get better. I embrace the sweating and exhaustion but that's just me.
@@graybear7084 same brother. I tell her “30 minutes of walking isn’t real exercise” especially when you have a sedentary job. I’m getting off of work at an active job where I’m virtually speed walking and tugging crates 10 hours straight just to get off work and do my calisthenics weight training routine expecting results. I have to put in 10x the effort to “lead by example” just for you to not even put in a grain of the same effort in the gym or diet? What’s the point?
But like you said. It starts to suck less when you get past that stage. Your body has to get acclimated to being active. Then it just becomes apart of your day
@@ceelothatmane9421 PERIOD
I agree with this. Still with your wife even with incompatible lifestyles? You’re right that change has to come from within. It’s kind of like an addiction in that only the addict can decide to change.
I’ve tried this too with my husband. It didn’t work. He just continued to gain weight. I am 110 lbs and he was 265 lbs. I cook healthy but he would go out and buy snacks that he would eat around the clock while working. He is in therapy and taking medication. He has said he doesn’t like being as big as he is but he still binges on junk food and didn’t make any changes. I used to be a stay at home mom but now I have started to make my own money and he was confused at first and said I didn’t have to but I told him I have no choice, if his health kills him I and our kids will be out on the street. I think this has knocked some sense into him and he is actually losing weight. He is down 15 lbs.
Great advice. I truky hope she can fully feel trust in her husband to share her stressers. As women we do try to handke so much and carry unneccessary burdens on ourself. Wishing both the best. ❤
Excuses. Even if she doesn't lose the weight no topic should be off the cards. Marriage is about being vulnerable. If you cant talk about weight then there are deeper issues.
Classic case of weight gain, through shared lifestyle.
Dude is 6’1” and 300lb… and he is concerned about his wife’s weight gain?
As someone who used to undereat for a really long time I can tell you that this could also be just her body adjusting metabolically. If you've been in a state of starvation for a long time, and then you introduce food again, you will gain weight for awhile before you plateau and stabilize. Then, and only then, you can start thinking about losing weight.
Wedding cake is the most fattening food there is.
😂
So real!
Lol I see what you did there
Fact Checking was completed. No lies were detected at any time.
😅
Easy, since they got married she started to eat according to his eating habits. It's a classic. I used to date a guy who expressed his love for me by buying me (take away) food, sweets and snacks. Basically he ordered food that he liked for the both of us and I didn't want to be rude and say "no, I don't eat that". I gained 5kg just dating him.
Also. Its a major red flag that as soon as your get married your parnter starts to gain weight. Thats not good. Just because you are in a relationship, doesnt mean you should let yourself go. You should always do your best to stay attractive for your your partner as well as yourself
I agree. I just see so many couples (one or both) get complacent and lazy once they’re “off the martlet”.. but it always leads to issues.
Well said.
Sick of people acting like physical attraction is supposed to stop after commitment
Beyond that it is simply looking out for your own health.
Some people just love food and get addicted
Why excuse it
I feel like this is a simplistic explanation. I’m a mental health clinician; it’s more complicated than your stance..
I don’t know that’s a little too simplified tbh. There’s probably something in the house or life making her anxious and that’s the stress response and she can recognize that it’s not healthy and a stress response but isn’t able to process it in a way that’s constructive so she ignores it. I don’t know what the husband has said or done though to warrant her not wanting to disclose or trust him with what’s stressing her out, if she’s afraid because he’s the stresser, or she’s already ashamed because he’s said something in the past offhandedly and she kept it. 😅 same can be said for any gender though.
@godislove4540 is something being complicated make it okay? People LOVE to make excuses and give reasons instead of just admit that something is wrong.
@@godislove4540If the gender roles were reversed in this situation the entire narrative changes.
I love food and binge sometimes, but I workout 6 days a week. Bulking season baby
Is it proportional?
Thanks for keeping us updated! I feel sympathy and empathy for our country. low income people are suffering to survive, and I appreciate Deborah. You've helped my family with your advice. imagine investing $30,000 and receiving $95,460 after 28 days of trading.
I began investing in stocks and Def earlier this year, and it is the best choice I've ever made. My portfolio is rounding up to almost a million and I have realized that when a stock makes it to the news, chances are you're quite late to the party, the idea is to get in early on blue chips before it becomes public. There are lots of life changing opportunities in the market, and maximize it.
What opportunities are there in the market, and how do I profit from it?
You can make a lot of money from the
market regardless of whether it strengthens or crashes. The key is to be well positioned.
I would really like to know how this actually works.
All you need is a good capital and the
service of a professional broker, with those your investment will most certainly produce high yields.
Eating healthy and being at a healthy body weight is the most important thing. If you’re complaining about other physical problems in your life and you’re still overweight, fix the weight first. almost every problem will be fixed or at least improve by losing weight and eating healthier. To be intellectually honest, yes, I eat healthy and maintain my way to look good. Eating healthy will change your life. It will improve depression, anxiety, joint pain, along with every other ailment you have. If you’re fat, fix the weight first, then you can actually know what problems are caused by your weight and what are deeper issues.
Weight is most of the times related to mental health. The worst thing you can say to anyone overweight is that he/she is overweight. Try to help finding her/him a therapist that can help getting to the real issue behind gaining this much weight.
She needs to put down the 🍰!
I had a gluten intolerance I didn’t know about until I noticed my body was in agony and I was gaining so much weight the doctors did tests confirming it and ever since I went off gluten I’ve been slowly losing the weight again. There is so many different factors in losing weight and there could be many things that cause weight gain.
"I am struggling with how to best love my wife". If I heard my husband say this, I'd tell him to hit the door. Even after 39 years. TERRIBLE ADVICE!!!
Have they looked into birth control? I got on a certain birth control and gained 10 lbs in one month. I couldn’t get it off! Got off the birth control and it fell off. Might look into that?
People are often childish and immature
Just often? Nope its a fulltime job for some
And sometimes big and lazy
@@-B_G- like the whining fat husband
Not on your life
@@heartofpuregold - 🤡
I have called this show so many times and never get picked I need help no therapist in my area is listing to me and better help said they didnt know how to help with all that is happening.
Hope things improve for you and can get that help. I know my words won't change the world for you but I'm rooting for you.
How much weight can you gain in 8 months? I mean was he barely tolerating her weight at the beginning?
I gained 80 lbs due to a toxic relationship(on both ends) in 18months. You can gain a lot of weight quickly today with all the calorie dense foods available.
I gained 80lbs in pregnancy😮. I barely ate I was so sick but the pounds packed on as my hormones were way off. 30 lbs was water retention I lost in the first day after birth(besides the baby and plancenta)
You can gain ALOT! Trust me!! When I got to my old job I gained 50 pounds in like 6 months- stress, eating crap, no gym. Covid lockdown and just continued to eat EVERYTHING! You would be surprised how fast I can gain 100 pounds if I don’t monitor my weight like a hawk
He has no room to be complaining!!!
If you’re having problems after only 8 months, your marriage is in trouble. Maybe the marriage was a mistake. I’ve been married 42 years. It’s not difficult if you are well matched.
Nutrition (healthy diet) is 70%
20% sleep 😴 💤
10% exercise 💪
I've had to lose up to 30lbs multiple times in my life. It simply comes down to calories in and calories out. Put in the time and effort into your body as you do your children, job, and other things you value. Don't believe the enablers in the comment section. Its on you to make the change. Do you have a bigger "why" than the long term health of your family? if not, drive over to planet fitness and start putting in that work.
I tell ppl this all the time. Went from 240 to 200 from merely watching my calories and 150-200 pushups and 50-100 pull-ups per day. Plus I work an active job
It definitely takes effort and what you guys have done is admirable. Something to keep in mind is a woman’s weight journey is different with the hormone aspect.
I lost 50 lbs 2 years ago and then....menopause happened. Gained 30 lbs in like 3 months. haven't changed my diet only eat once a day. But again-hormones. I just shrug my shoulders figure I'll get though the meno and then things will settle.
@@lavenderkisses9461it’s literally not lol. These are sad excuses that only women seem to make. I had a female friend lose 150 pounds and she said the exact same thing as this guy
Multiple times? Sounds like yo-yo dieting. I myself have lost 20 pounds multiple times and I know that I had problems
I’m in desperate Need to talk & hear Dr.John’s opinion and his advice … I feel defeated
She probably dieted before the wedding. When you resume a normal diet, weight goes on fast, usually more than we lost. That's why people get bigger & bigger with yo-yo dieting.
Aka she let herself go
She got the ring. Time to eat😸
whats normal diet overeating? whats dieting, barely eating? some guys know women
Interesting I didn't know this
Yes. And so many get complacent after the wedding because they feel like they’re now “off the market”… but in reality it often leads to marital issues. When one person gains a lot of weight.
Hormones and health also can be a big factor. PCOS, thyroid issues, and other hormone affecting problems can change quick weight gain.
This isnt some riddle. If youre gaining weight. Then lose it! Eat less. Do cardio, work out. Easier said than done of course. But that is the solution. Its as simple as it gets
Have you heard of the Lion diet, Carnivore, or Ketovore? Steak, butter, bacon…check out Dr. Ken Berry, General Physician. He’s on UA-cam. Tons of videos and testimonials.
It’s not that simple a lot of factors come in to play like stress, hormones, health issues, medications.
Be kind. Could be medical as well
Whats wierd is im having this same issue. But it gets so exhausting not being able give the "right" answer.
I told her i would love to help her and she has seen me gain alot of weight, but i lost alot too (65+lbs) and i love working out.
I love her but it feels like she doesn't want to try, but hates how she looks and how she feels. I have tried giving tips and advice, but that stopped when she voiced her feelings about how bad it makes her feel ( which is understandable).
But I don't know how to help without making her mad or making her feel like i dont like her. I'm increasingly getting more scared and worried, because her health is getting worse and worse and her opinion of herself is terrible. She won't even go to therapy with me because she just doesn't see the point, and she doesn't give me many options on what I can do to help. My worst fear is eventually getting completely shutting down and drifiting away from her.
I feel unheard and sometimes i feel like my opinions don't matter and im just here as an emotional battery and I voice these things to her consistently. I just don't know what to do to help at this point but im trying to be positive and atleast improve her outlook on herself
Sounds like depression, she may need talking therapy.
Falling into a rhythm in a relationship happens at any point, not just when it's a new marriage. Life is long, if you're lucky. Change is inevitable and its a bag of random.
Look I'm 5'3. I got up to 231 lbs at my highest. That is disgusting. I hated myself at that weight but it took my bf saying, "how long am I supposed to ignore this" to kick me into gear. I've lost 65 pounds so far. I want to lose 25 more. I want men to be attracted to me and most of them don't like obesity. 🤷♀️
Wow! Great job! Hope you both are doing well 🙏🏽
So you can only love yourself if you're fit?
Self hate is disgusting.
@deirdrekiely6187 You can be happy with it but it wasn't for me. I'm happy when I'm in shape.
Just imagine him saying to a woman, "You havent given him exercise tips for you?!". Everyone would laugh.
Exactly!! I give the man I’m in relationship with to check me if he sees me slipping. It’s a hard pull but guess what I’m up right now at 3:45am about to hit the gym for training & cardio!
He does need to go to the gym and get fit. We'll see how that goes.
This might be a hard pill to swallow, but your health is your concern. No other person will have conditions caused by your overeating, while you may get some of those problems and be forced to change or meet the reaper sooner than you wish.
Looks like food addiction - they both need therapist.
We gain and lose weight for a myriad of reasons, but losing weight is always burning more calories than you take in.
People suck. I love being alone
Definitely 💯....so glad to be single....and I genuinely pity my ex's current wife
🎉 watching from Finland 🎉
This is so interesting that he even called. He is obese by any chart at 6'1" and 300 lbs, but he is complaining about his wife??? Weird. He seems like a nice guy, just odd that he didn't call in asking for help for himself first. Loved that John suggested counseling.
He isn’t complaining about it. He’s asking for advice on how to help his wife, who is the one that’s having a problem dealing with her own weight.
He most likely is working on himself
Effective: Taking over meal prep and cooking healthy meals for both of you
Ineffective: Telling your mate that they are getting too fat and need to lose weight.
Everyone should attempt to look their best and stay fit and healthy for their spouse. It’s a high value level of respect for the marriage. See too many men and women who let them selves go because of disrespect and blame it on something else.
I'm not overweight, but I once dated a girl who kept gaining weight. As she became significantly heavier than me, my attraction dwindled, and I eventually lost all interest in being intimate with her. Despite her kind personality, I couldn't find myself attracted to someone who didn't seem to care about their own body.
This happened to me.
She maybe depressed and not happy.
Also, he may introduced her to a bad food.
When I met my ex boyfriend I used to have a healthy life style. I only went to nice restaurants and cooked healthy.
Him coming into my life introduced me to foods I never ate before, like a lot of bread, constant sweet teas, KFC, McDonald’s and etc.
I gained 40 pounds in relationship with him. Himself he works out. I stopped working out with him.
He was extremely jealous also. He would yell at any man who would look at me. Embarrassing.
I started giving up.
We had twin babies.
He always away. His work is out of state, and I basically became a single mother.
No time or energy for myself and looking in the mirror I don’t recognize myself anymore.
We broke up.
I am trying to put my life back to how it was before him. He definitely destroyed me.
Thankfully he's gone, work on you for you. Never give that power over to anyone in the future! Best wishes
Simply walking would be something simple and easy to do. I have changed jobs recently and I've been doing a lot of walking and have lost around 10 lbs. Still unconstant pain but it will get better. But if you're over 100 lb overweight do you think she's going to want to eat? I'm going to say no on her behalf. As someone who has been married to someone that was over 150 to 200 lb overweight and I was around 50 to 100 lb overweight I would deny myself food so the rest of the family could eat. But recently I have made my portion smaller. I still only eat maybe once or twice a day. I know that's not good but I just am not hungry. I would like to get back under 200 again. I felt so much better when I was that small. My knees weren't hurting as bad and my back well that was still hurting but not as bad. Plan on doing a lot of stuff outdoors this summer. If she likes to garden that would be a good thing for her to do that'll keep her physically active and help her with weight loss. But sounds like she's got some mental things going on not just her physical weight. And I've been watching Nicole Colette as well with her husband. They have been very inspirational.
😂 the weight issue is already on the table before kids she needs to run and reevaluate her life choices. That’s part of self development which needs to happen before marriage. If she doesn’t know how to manage her diet and body she needs space to learn that without the pressure of husband eyes expecting results. It possible she was too poor to buy food now she can afford to and needs new education on how to manage the abundance. The husband doesn’t sound slim either and could be contributing to the problem as he admits he told her to eat. It’s possible his own diet is bad and she started eating whatever he is eating . The key here is to get space, use degree to get a job and get to know self better and decide if you want to lead with skinny body or healthy body or decide what kind of body standards work for you then pick someone with similar mentality. Because this seems to be a beginning of toxic relationship where both people are dissatisfied, what will happen when kids are in the picture? It’s way too early to be having this problem and the forecast is gloomy
Literally all it takes is eating healthier, being more active, and getting better sleep. I am not kidding you. You people will do ANYTHING to avoid holding women accountable
@@GigaNietzsche if it were all it takes many people wouldn’t be obese? It’s not all it takes. And being constantly reminded you are not attractive certainly doesnt help either especially at the beginning of a marriage where you are still building trust and security. Hence why I think it’s better for her to work on it alone. It’s a bad start to the marriage with little chance to no chance improvement .
What do you mean eat healthier? People have different bodies and needs hence I say she needs to learn/explore what works for her or what lifestyle she wants without some guy pressuring her to be a certain size. Getting better sleep will also depend on what’s expected of her . Having many tasks like a job and taking care of the home and eventually kids can interfere with getting better sleep in terms of hours available to sleep and stress. So again she needs to explore what works for her on her own and what kind of lifestyle and expectations she will allow Eg deciding she won’t be a working mom or 50/50 relationship etc Typically people make these decisions before marriage especially if they have adequate guidance on what to expect in a marriage and what boundaries to set. Unfortunately some people just marry and find themselves in impossible situations- like being expected to remain a model even in the absence of healthy food or in the presence of many obstacles.
If i moved in with someone who was 300lbs and we started "eating proper meals" then i bet id put on a lot of weight as well 😮
Bro, you start going to the gym and getting better then she will follow.
Yeah that doesn’t always work
@angryox3102 then divorce. Life is too short to be unhappy
She won’t just follow by default lol
No she won't. Women aren't puppets where they just automatically follow and fall in line.
I can confirm that doesn’t work. I’m pretty ripped at 185 pounds, active everyday, and my ex worked out maybe 5 times in about a year.
Btw counseling is a huge reason for divorce even though there was no cheating or mental or physical abuse. Because women mainly use the word “trauma” to defend themselves in a relationship with a man that they want to end in order to find a “better” man.
10-15 pounds alright that’s not a Huge deal. Anything more than that in a short time is a beast. I’ve been struggling to gain more weight and been stuck at 185. How do big girls gain so much weight so quickly?
Genetics. Some of us are optimised for surviving famine.
Carbs.
@@Colleepoly3975 yeah but I guess big girls eating a whole pizza for dinner probably isn’t genetics
15 or 20 lbs looks different if you are 5 ft vs 6 ft tall.
Our bodies try to hold onto fat, and increasing our metabolism by muscle gain is frankly just very slow because we don't have testosterone like men. So we're working up hill a bit.
Caller said "I'm on the bigger side myself." I would bet money that what happened is similar to my first year of marriage. My diet was pretty healthy, but my husband is extremely picky and not a fan of veggies. Being with him, I wanted to eat with him. He was not willing to negotiate, so I adapted my diet to him, and gained 10-15 lb as a consequence. Things got better in the second year when I got pregnant. My body simply couldn't handle the greasy meats anymore, so I started cooking my own meals, he started trying them, slowly found things that he liked, and we've both been getting better together. Caller said "she didn't eat anything" and that he encouraged her to eat. Probably she adapted her diet to his, and he being "on the bigger side" probably doesn't eat super healthy, so she's gained weight.
edit: finished the vid. also, my husband works a very physically demanding job and he's mid-20's, and his metabolism hasn't started to slow down yet like mine has. That's why he can get away with eating like he does. He's acknowledged that he won't be able to do that forever. This guy sounds like he used to be very active, now he isn't, but his diet hasn't changed or adapted. Don't hinge everything on working out, especially if he's injured. Both he and the wife need to eat healthier to live their best lives.