Husband Treats Me Differently Based on How I Look
Вставка
- Опубліковано 18 січ 2025
- Husband Treats Me Differently Based on How I Look
Next Steps:
🏦Pull your credit reports here: www.annualcred...
📞 Ask John a question! ter.li/0pimqr
📚 Building a Non-Anxious Life: ter.li/TDJDSBNAL
📝 Anxiety Test: ter.li/6zeike
📚 Own Your Past, Change Your Future: ter.li/TDJDSOYP
❓ Questions for Humans Conversation Cards: ter.li/TDJDSQFH
💭 John's Free Guided Meditation: ter.li/mnl8mg
🤘🏼The Dr. John Delony Show T-Shirts: ter.li/p2ekj
Connect With Our Sponsors:
• 10% off your first month of therapy at BetterHelp ⮕ bit.ly/3seoBCe
• Three free months of Hallow ⮕ www.hallow.com...
• 25% off Thorne orders ⮕ www.thorne.com...
• 20% off Organifi with code DELONY ⮕ www.Organifi.c...
• 25% off plus 2 free pillows at Helix Sleep ⮕ www.HelixSleep...
• 40% off Cozy Earth products with code DELONY ⮕www.cozyearth....
• 20% off DeleteMe with code DELONY ⮕ www.joindelete...
• 10% off the Core Package or the All-In Package with code DELONY at Marek Health ⮕ www.marekhealt...
• Use code Delony at Poncho for any button-down shirt order and you’ll receive a T-shirt or hat as a gift. ⮕ www.ponchooutd...
Explore More From Ramsey Network:
🎙️ The Ramsey Show ⮕ ter.li/wtjnp7
💸 The Ramsey Show Highlights ⮕ ter.li/3opzgn
🍸 Smart Money Happy Hour ⮕ ter.li/iy4cj0
💡 The Rachel Cruze Show ⮕ ter.li/46pj7d
💰 George Kamel ⮕ ter.li/9rrvlr
💼 The Ken Coleman Show - Highlights ⮕ ter.li/drmpbx
📈 EntreLeadership ⮕ ter.li/ux0fyw
Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy
www.ramseysolu... -
Products:
Building a Non-Anxious Life: store.ramseyso...
Questions for Humans: Couples: store.ramseyso...
Own Your Past, Change Your Future: store.ramseyso...
2025 Ramsey Goal Planner: store.ramseyso...
Total Money Makeover: store.ramseyso...
Questions for Humans: Friends: store.ramseyso...
Questions for Humans: Parents & Kids: store.ramseyso...
Baby Steps Millionaires: store.ramseyso...
Get Clear Assessment: store.ramseyso...
Physical attraction is a catalyst in marriage… but it’s not meant to be the bedrock that a marriage is built on.
That is the most nature/ societal fact between men and women I have read in a short sentence!
That just gives people an excuse not to do or look their best
@@alphacentauri1776There is always someone best or attractive or different than the current person !
Should it be normal to keep chasing the better ?
@@Easypeasy74 it should be normal to be better
@@alphacentauri1776 Agreed.
But the other partner might always find the better !
Because there is always a better …
So if u say be the best or the better so the other partner would not look for anyone , … that’s impossible !
Here, the partner’s perception of the
“ best or better“ matters along with the
“ virtue of commitment “!
John, I admire how patient you are with everyone. But this lady knows exactly what’s going on. Her intuition knows exactly what’s up with her husband. If you had asked her when they met and how long husband had been divorced before they got together, I have a feeling this call would have gone in a completely different direction. She knows her man and she knows her relationship, she just doesn’t want to face it.
Yeah but therapists don't work on intuition. If they think it'll connect to their patient to help them realize something, maybe... but that's not their job.
I wouldn’t be surprised if she married a dirtbag and doesn’t want to face that reality
Agreed.
@@chaoswitch1974 Intuition? No. I suggested that HE ASKED a simple question. They ARE TAUGHT TO ASK QUESTIONS.
You either have NO idea what you are talking about. OR you're hired to contradict people who make suggestions.
This 👆
He literally told her he left a 20yr marriage bc he wasnt attracted to her anymore ...like dude does this
Like John is not taking that into account..
@@cgggg5988 she never said that was the reason for their divorce
@@Feonalillyit more than likely was
@@Feonalilly she basically said it was a big factor in his previous marriage failing…
Projection
As soon as she said he was married for 20 years, I realised she was doomed.
Yep
And the crazy part is I'm sure he's no prize either but expects his women to be eye candy at all times
Hes' for sure a douche bag. Any man that leaves a long term marriage and claims "no spark" is a douche.
@@dawnaustin4556 Probably a narcissist.
@@GracefulGardeniayes! Conditional "love" and then he's gone
She did say her husband did leave a 20yr marriage claiming no physical connection. Shes the upgraded model. So she does have historicical behavior to fall back on in her reasoning. Her concerns may be legit and he may not be honest if she asks.
Wow, 🤯
More like he married a prudish wife that wouldn’t put out. Despite what some women think having sex once every few months isn’t a healthy relationship.
A husband or wife shouldn’t have to beg their partner for sex. They shouldn’t be desperate just to hold hands or get a peck on the cheek. If you don’t want physical touch then you shouldn’t get married.
The caller never said anything about looks. She said “he was in a marriage with no physical contact” Your post is a bit of a bad faith take on the situation…
This! I’m sure there is an undercurrent of fear that if the physical attraction diminishes, he may throw her out like he did with the last wife
Idk why some of these dudes make a lifelong commitment to a woman and plan for children if they're incapable of being interested in someone after motherhood and natural aging. Just do the Leo diCaprio thing and have a revolving door of young girlfriends if that's all you want in life.
She knew he was married and she slept with him anyway and this is what she gets lol
She knows she was “chosen” based on her looks, which is why she’s insecure now that she’s feeling less desirable to him..
Ultimately, that’s the major problem with superficial connections, eventually that fades and often they don’t even know if they actually like each other.
He told her that her value is her beauty, that he upgraded from his wife to get the “hot girl”, so she’s not completely wrong for being concerned that her husband might not be as into her anymore. Idk.
It’s always women judging other women 😂 how in the world do you know she was chosen based on her looks?
@@evapawlowska
🤦🏻♀️ did you even listen to this ?? She literally said it. He wasn’t attracted to his ex wife, and he was excited to “finally have that” with her, he’d consistently tell her how beautiful and sexy she was at the beginning and doesn’t anymore..
Please use some critical thinking, you don’t even have to read between the lines here bc she explained it very clearly. THATS LITERALLY WHAT SHE CALLED IN ABOUT 💀 ..It’s even in the title of the video, HELLO????
So actually no, it’s not always women judging other women, it’s an observation & logical interpretation based on what she said and generally what tends to happen in dynamics like this one.
Perhaps you lack the capacity to comprehend my comment and this segment, you missed the mark completely ma’am.
In no way am I judging her, I empathise with her, if anything I’m judging him..
😂✌🏼
No dear. She was probably more sexual than his wife. Men want to be touched. After 20 years his first wife stopped.
@@ElizabethSotiriaExactly
Well said. I agree with you. The wife is insecure bc their relationship probably was based on physical attraction.
Girl you married a man who dumped a 20 year marriage for “no physical attraction” but you thought he would just stick it out with you? You think he wasn’t attracted to her at first? Grieve the mistake you made and marry a grown person with some depth next time. Unfortunately this is a shallow guy.
Spot on
When a man leaves his wife and marries his mistress, all he's done is create a job opening.
You'll lose him how you got him.
Yep the problem in the marriage is him !
At what point did she say she was the mistress? My husband was married to his first wife for 16 years. We met when he was a year and a half out from his divorce and we have been married 11 years. Not the mistress.
This entire call boils down to her, jumping to conclusions based on very little evidence kind of like your comment🙄
My very wise older sister told told me how I feel about myself is going to effect my sex life with my husband. She was 100% right. When I take care of myself exercise, eat right, hygiene is really good, I feel sexier and that attracts my husband. My husband doesn’t care if I’m in sweats and no makeup it’s my confidence that’s attracts him. I can go from all dolled up bombshell to frumpy no makeup and he still wants me because I feel good about myself. Now that’s not always the case for me. It takes work to keep that mindset going.
He wants you because he wants you because he wants you. Women tend to push men away or project their insecurities onto them when they don’t feel good about themselves.
If he is like most men, he’s not that picky. But he can feel how receptive you are…and that is probably what is changing.
But your sister is wise. What take sex work for a lot of women is that self-acceptance and to stop being at war with their bodies.
@@kellygreenii Completely agree. Couldn't have said it any better.
Right on!!!!
Wow 😮 Great insight
Loving ourselves ,being good to ourselves ,holding our center is so important .❣
He's ready to upgrade to a new younger model again. He will continue to upgrade every few years.
Yeah...that's not going to go on forever.
@@sleepyjoe1685 Yes! Heads up to all the young HOMEWRECKERS. YOUR turn is coming. Save your pennies. Have a skill. Hope you already have work experience.
Now...try to raise your child well.
They usually stop doing that mid 60’s.
@@katemiller7874 Men in their mid 60s be so delusional thinking 20 yr olds want them that they can't even be happy with a woman in her 30s.
@@katemiller7874depends on the wealth status… the richer, the longer they can keep upgrading
Hmm... I think John is off base on this. He said something during one of his shows that I thought was absolutely spot on: Some people are just terrible marriage partners. Bingo. There are people who are shallow, superficial, self-centered, uncompromising, me-me-me and they always seems to draw in people who are either weak or suffer from trauma wounds. This guy had one marriage that ended - after 20 years invested - due to "no physical connection." Translation: He grew bored, or found his aging wife unattractive. New wife who is the caller probably lost some of her physical appeal through having a child, getting comfortable in the marriage, whatever. Now he's no longer attracted. "Shallow Hal." Very funny movie, very true example.
I'm not so sure about your "no physical connection" take.
Generally, men initiate sex way more often than women do, and women are usually the ones who withhold sex.
So barring any additional info, it's safer to assume the ex wife was the bored one and not the husband.
Same thing , I gathered.
All of what you stated is most likely true plus he went for a young woman (she sounds young)that will believe his bull and easier to manipulate than his ex that knows all his tricks!
@@JukiComboI actually think it’s not that they withhold sex it’s that most men think it’s all about them and then women grow very tired of that. Give me , give me , give me .. a wife is thinking .. can it once be about me .. it’s a lot easier for a man to get the train rolling then a women. If it’s been awhile I’m betting the wife isn’t sure how to get started anymore . Both people just keep waiting for someone to make a move and the years role by .. it’s sad and then most men say oh she didn’t want sex .. interesting I wonder if they can also count the times their wife’s got to have some” fun” too .. if more men realized that sex is suppose to be selfless then marriages wouldn’t be ruined by no sex ..
@Kroh13
-I actually think it's not that they withhold sex it's that most men think it's all about them and then women grow very tired of that.-
And when they grow very tired of that they begin withholding sex.
You didn't dispute my point. You practically said the equivalent of "bees don't sting. They poke you with their sharp butt."
Most men aren't that selfish. Narcissists don't grow on trees.
- Give me, give me, give me.. a wife is thinking .. can it once be
about me .. -
Most of us guys are bone heads and can't read you minds. We enjoy it more if our wife is into it too. If you're not, say so. Or heck! Starfish, then say so when we ask what's wrong.
Clearly tell your man how to love you. If he refuses, then you have a case. If you say nothing, you can't put all the blame on him for not having your needs met.
-it's a lot easier for a man to get the train rolling then a women.-
Absolutely true.
-If it's been awhile I'm betting the wife isn't sure how to get started anymore.-
Sit on his face.
Take off clothes.
Say "let's smash" while sitting on his face.
Unless you're referring to how she gets herself into the mood, it makes no sense. She's not a vampire with 1000 years amnesia.
- Both people just keep waiting for someone to make a move and the years role by .. -.
Disagree. Men are the primary initiators. If he has stopped initiating, more likely than not he's gotten tired of constantly being rejected and has given up rather than waiting for her.
Waiting for a woman to make a move is surefire way to die a virgin.
- it's sad and then most men say oh she didn't want sex .. interesting I wonder if they can also count the times their wife's got to have some" fun" too..-
Again, men can't read minds. We're not Tinder Swindlers.
If the wife wants to have some fun, tell hubby what she wants. If he says no, then he's a POS. If she says nothing, how can he know?
If one rejects sex when offered, it means they don't want it. It's that right? Or am I missing something?
-if more men realized that sex is suppose to be selfless then
marriages wouldn't be ruined
by no sex..-
By that reasoning women should let men smash whenever they want and not care about if she's enjoying herself because sex is supposed to be selfless.
See how crazy that sounds?
The woman has to enjoy herself during lovemaking too. Absolutely. You'd be hard pressed to find a man that doesn't care his woman isn't enjoying herself.
What usually happens is that the woman doesn't communicate her wants. The man is oblivious. She accumulates resentment then begins withholding sex.
I know I'm skipping some steps here, but that's generally what happens.
She’s the younger woman he left his wife for and now she’s surprised once she’s older and has kids, he’s not as into it. SHOCK!
False. She said that his previous relationship had no spark of physical contact. Nothing about physical looks. For all you know his ex was absolutely gorgeous but they just had no sex life and it destroyed the marriage. Don’t come to conclusions.
@@wbae1340this whole call was about how she feels about her appearance. She didn’t say physical “contact” she said they didn’t have a physical “connection”.
If he had no physical connection, that means he didn't find her attractive. No sexually healthy guy is attracted to his wife but doesn't want to do it @wbae1340
@@garfieldGG did you not read your original comment? You said he left his wife for a younger women, when in reality he left because they had no sex life and it destroyed the marriage.
She probably feels rejected because with no glamour on, in sweats, bare faced he's not interested in who she really is. He may regret the whole affair. I'm hoping that's what she's really scared about, because nobody could be that shallow
If the guy changes his love purely based on your looks day to day, that's a shallow and terrible sign. He's focused on the surface, not on your essence. Not good for a stable, longterm union.
Unless you've drastically changed physically (which I doubt), he isn't deeply connected to you. Connection isn't just about one's looks, it's way more than that. Something is fundamentally missing.
I disagree. Women have their beauty. Men don’t look at a woman and are attracted to her because of her job or degree or personality lol.
I married my wife because she’s good looking, didn’t sleep around, has a good family and father figure and didn’t have any kids. I would never date, let alone marry a women that’s a single mother. Did it once and learned my very expensive lesson. You do nothing but invite craziness and chaos into your life and risk to lose everything.
Men do not care about a woman’s degree or achievements or what kind of job they have or how much money they make. Women are beauty objects to men, and that’s that. And for women, the men that they look for/want are typically successful and have a large social networks and most of the time make a lot of money. And there’s nothing wrong with that at all. In my opinion women should look for men like that because the relationship will have a better chance of lasting longer than going out with some guy in banging some random guy that can drink a lot of beer and sells drugs.
I don’t understand why that’s a hard thing for people to understand or accept, it’s not a bad thing. If I have a daughter, I’m going to tell her to preserve her beauty take care of herself and marry a man that has a lot of money is successful and has a large social network And if I have a son, I would tell him to not even worry about getting married or dating until he’s gotten to that point in his life, which would probably be in his early to mid 30s and then look for a woman that’s in her early to mid 20s Because those women are typically the best looking(physically)and most fertile to start a family with and there’s nothing wrong with that but society has shoved it down our throats for so long saying that is bad when in reality it’s perfectly OK and for the best of the relationship and the family.
@lsgsrob2102 wow, you are very shallow without admitting that you're shallow. Yes, looks are important to a point, but when you get older you need to have more than just good looks because if something happened to you and you were disfigured physically in some way, I wonder if your wife would still be with you. And if she wasn't and you had to go back out into the dating scene, that probably wouldn't go very well for you. Because like attracts like if you only want to go off looks you're not going to get too far.
Yet he’s in a super dad bod with a beer belly..
just sayin…
@@lsgsrob2102Are you a Red pill person?.
@@Coco-KittytheestorytellerSo true.
Beauty evolves, you can't be always the most beautiful person around. You are a team, you are going to grow old together. There must be more we grow to love about each other.
Unfortunately most men are too shallow and immature to live this.
Right on point
Also , “ grow old together “ is such a forgotten concept now!
Ooo…. This was a mirror for me. I’ve been with my husband since we were 22, but now we are 34 and I’ve had 4 babies. I always hide myself from him because I’m so mortified about my body. I’ve definitely caused him to “give up” in a certain way. It’s so hard to let your husband see you intimately when you don’t like yourself. 😣
Honestly, maybe just have an open conversation about it. Trust me, once you get the courage to do it, you'll feel so much better, and he will too.
I feel you I know my husband loves my but I want him to desire me.
Oh gosh please talk to your husband about this. I have 8 inch c-section scars and gigantic stretch marks on my large belly. I refuse to let my partner see me nude. Haven't had relations in 12 years. Don't turn into me. Please talk to him today.
@@Ioncandi Can't you turn off the lights? What is he doing? You don't want him cheating!
Keep the lights off.
She was probably the younger woman he left his first wife for, now she feels insecure that the same thing is happening to her.
-newly married but knew him for years
-he was previously married for 20 years. Assuming he got married young, he’d still be well over 40, while she just had a kid
-he was obsessed with how attracted he was to her
Bingo
Its always in the subtext isn't it?
Well that's an interesting perspective . She knows how she got him, and now she's reminded of that with the changes in her body. It reminds me of the saying that you lose 'em the way you got 'em
But sadly not losing much!!!!
Lots of men become cheaters when their wife is pregnant.. which is UNCONSCIONABLE. Devils in disguise.. looking out for the next hot babe that pays attention to them.
I bet she used to be the side chick, and she’s afraid she’s gonna lose him how she got him.
yeahhhhh the husband is off a 20yr something marriage? they have a 1.5yo? i don't even think they're the same age
They're not, I'm sure he's much older. And now she's acting surprised that he behaves this way. 🙄
@@CrystalM1917 Yeah, I've seen it happen so many times where younger women get with an older man who's constantly complaining about his "nagging ex wife", and then are shocked to marry him and find out that they've become that wife, and that he tires of them quickly as soon as they mature and have real responsibilities to share. The dude is the common denominator, all his exes can't be crazy. My sister's friend got with a guy twice her age. After having a kid with him she realized that he was a crappy, immature person and left. Now he's onto baby mamma number 3, who is even younger. To any young women reading this, stop getting with these men!
@@VV-er3zgbingo
@@rachelmaddowswife8713Exactly. This is a dust-free zone. I'm teaching my daughter what I wasn't taught. She'll be valued and adored by a man.
Wow, this has really opened my eyes to how superficial some relationships really are . I've lead healthy lifestyle,natural foods ,organic beauty products and generally no makeup.Over 24 yrs of marriage and my husband's face still lights up .
Good for you guys !
She
Was the other woman lol and now she knows he was a cheater , so if they cheat with you they will cheat on you
Your husband loves you for you. My father treated my mother that way for 50 years.
aw, that's awesome!
Men are bombarded with unrealistic pictures of women all the time, though, but I definitely know this is an issue too.
😢 it's sad. Many men don't even appreciate a bare faced no make up woman
@@mellowbirddreamer77is this something u feel? Or something based on objectivity? Cuz I’m a man and every single one of my male friends prefers a naturally beautiful woman that doesn’t rely on makeup. we’re not that dumb we know women can completely alter their looks with makeup. My gf never wears makeup but she eats clean, exercises, and has good skin care so she really has no reason to wear makeup, honestly if I see a chick caked up with makeup I assume she’s probably ugly underneath all that and doesn’t take care of herself on a foundational level or maybe has self esteem/identity/confidence issues. Which is ok we all struggle with those problems but makeup will not fix the root cause just like how men will take steroids or flex their wealth etc.
@@MindFluxx most men’s idea of a naturally beautiful woman is actually a woman who has put a lot of effort into her appearance, and is more than likely wearing makeup.
@@ShakirahIbaad I mean same goes for men, do u really want a man that puts zero effort into himself? Men have different problems, A man that doesn’t have a dollar to his name or a low status occupation is going to be looked down upon women compared to a man with a higher status occupation and more wealth. Whereas I don’t know a single man that cares what a woman does for work. It’s just how our anatomies work as men and women. Blame god not men if this is a problem for u.
@Alixir1228 how do u know what my standard is for a naturally beautiful woman? My gf isn’t a supermodel but I still consider her naturally beautiful. And the same goes for women, u have access to all the most handsome men in ur hand, I’m sure that warps the brains of young girls as well when it comes to looking for a man. I see videos all the time of girls saying they need a man that makes 100k+, 6’3+, chiseled, literally
Marriages based on all external factors usually do not last eg she’s young and hot , he’s handsome and rich
No shame on physicality, but There has to be a bond beyond that
Idk if he didn’t stay with his first wife because she wasn’t attractive then I doubt he’ll stay with you when you’re no longer attractive. I think that’s just how he rolls
Yup… past behavior and/mindset is usually a good predictor of present/future mindset.
Hello?! I don’t understand why she’s confused.
Exactly , john is totally missing that point
@@cgggg5988 Do you think Deloney is missing the point on purpose? It sounds like he was coming out of left field. But it is interesting that both spouses could be avoidants (sounded like wife really did not want to have a conversation with husband).
Based
I think when we put effort into our appearance, (whatever that may be) it makes us feel good, and therefore, we radiate that confidence that is attractive.
Good point. Simple changes can sometimes go a long way
that is with anything you do. effort gives results
Married couples can see through a confidence facade.. her husband wants to sleep with someone else. Period.
Idk how she looks at herself knowing she’s the woman that broke a 20 year marriage.
@@Fawn62312 Some men value "fresh meat." Yes. That's what THEY call it. Quit trying to make thos the young lady's fault.
Having said that, young women need to realize what they are getting if a man breaks his marriage vows & seeks a younger woman.
The old saying MEN had...was that they were trading their 40 for two 20s. Oh. So funny. Right? Not so much if you are one of dumb 20s that believe you finally have a DADDY that loves you.
I like how they say men are visual, but are women blind? No we arent
Men fall in love with their eyes, ❤but we fall in love ❤️ with our ears! 🌷🪻🌷🪻🌷🪻
But women do accept men that are less attractive if they have charisma and kindness.
Women tend to not base everything on looks. We aren’t as superficial.
@@katemiller7874On the flip side, women are more swayed by wealth, which is also superficial… goes both ways
I’m a woman and I’m definitely visual as well lol
Husband's probably already in negotiations with his next upgrade
Exactly.
Wrong type of man to marry and bring children in the world with. Those type of men you leave to their own accord. He doesn't see her. She is not there to him. The illusion/fantasy is how he functions and gets by. That's dangerous. For her and children. For if he will do it to the wife. He will most certainly do it to the children in which impacts/effects them in a negative way. One's self esteem is extremely important and that comes from oneself and those around you. Especially, from those you love and care for the most.
My husband takes so many pictures of our kid lmao 😂 he never took pictures before. It’s a dad loving his kid thing, I think.
My husband has told me I’m beautiful everyday of our 49 year marriage
He's lying completely
Both have problems
@@Paperovercoinsreally??? How shallow…😡
That's precious 💞
@@Paperovercoins you're an ahole 👌
Dr. John Delony is so intuitive and emotionally intelligent.
This isn't just about looks though cause a man can get bored with a supermodel and still lose interest and cheat.
So her trying to look perfect won't change the type of man he is. Biggest red flag is him leaving a 20 year marriage..
11:30 "Men are visual" is not an excuse if he treats her differently indeed, of course we have to consider what dr said about that it could be just her insecurities, but if he treats her differently indeed, if her perception is right, it's not a "man's thing"!
I've had a boyfriend once in the past who treated me differently based on how I looked, it was pretty noticeable and it was a way of manipulating me into dress more like the way he liked (about style and stuff).
Thank God I could have different experiences that showed me that it's not how it should work. My fiancé and I have been together for almost 9 years now, we live together, and he NEVER EVER treats me bad or with indifference whenever I look sloppy.
The truth is, HUMANS are visual.
Saying "men are visual" creates an unfair double standard.
@@ACollectorNotAHoarderyeah women treat ugly men very poorly just as men treat ugly women if not sometimes worse. Divisive language only creates more problems.
@@ACollectorNotAHoarderExactly.
@@ACollectorNotAHoarderwell there is a double standard. There always has been.
@@elijahparks2417 ugly men don't get treated badly. Specially if they have money.
Isn’t it amazing that the act of having a baby changes so many things sometimes. And some partners can’t get past the change. It’s truly heartbreaking and disgusting actually.
Yeah, tell me about it.
If he can't get past the change, best to let him go cause these types have a " tendency " towards volence.
Unless she wants to end up in a series kller documentary, don't go down that road.
My ex told me he couldn't have sex with me after my c-section because he said it was the most disgusting thing he had ever experienced. Was in a sexless marriage for 7 years. Men suck.
Can people force an attraction that is not there?
@ No of course not. But I almost died and was in a coma giving him his son. And then he treated me like a pariah because he was a wimp at the surgery.
Cool video. My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach him/ her?
Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
i'd encourage you to take more time to heal. if she left you, even if you love her, it probably isn't the best idea to spend your energy trying to get her back. she would come back if she wanted to regardless of how hard you try to get her back. i'd encourage you to just take care of yourself and give it more time. a month is not a long time especially for a five year relationship
This is so true about us projecting our insecurities. For example, I’m an average hight bbw and my man is very fit, tall and so fine lol. I recently admitted to him when we first started dating I was surprised he was interested in me because we have different lifestyle’s ( he eats healthy, workouts regularly and always on the go) I love to eat, relax and take little walks as a workout lol. literally total opposite. He was shocked and said that doesn’t matter I’m beautiful. It was at that moment I realized I’m making up a story in my mind. To some men it may matter but to him it doesn’t. This is what I have heard him say in various conversations 1.he prioritize how he feels about the connection between him and a woman. 2. He also prioritize a woman who is loving, caring and respectful above all. 3. He prioritize beauty inside and out. 🥰
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
@laurenkirby5390 Ma'am, you have no idea how much this encourages me 🥹 thank you 🙏🏿 ❤️
I think the difference is your husband it sounds has had the same level of attraction since day one. This man seems to have lost attraction after the baby.
That's so sweet. They are actually fit guys who prefer big, soft women. I had a friend whose boyfriend broke up with her when she lost weight even though he was really fit because he wanted her big.
❤❤❤
When I was pregnant, my husband told me every day that I was beautiful. Guess what? I didn't believe him because I didnt feel good about ME. I hope you can feel better about yourself soon. ❤
Most husbands tell wives that just to keep them from being down on themselves. Being pregnant, completely changes women’s bodies and not for the best.
He was lying.
@@miketheyunggod2534 @Gotoworkkk I don't think you realise how sad this makes you look
@miketheyunggod2534 he could have been lol but at least he tried to make me feel good about myself
@@Gotoworkkk that's true! And that's what he did
I’ve been with my partner for 8 years and went through this with my partner and was verbally abusive to me if I didn’t have make up on or hair done. The last two years he has shown he loves me no matter what weight I gained or how I look but the self esteem from the past still affects how I feel today.
It must be really difficult to forgive him for that, and forgive yourself for allowing your opinion of yourself be shaped by someone else. You deserve love, from yourself, from your partner.
Yeah it felt odd to me with my first relationship how she never dressed up for me or put on makeup when coming to see me but anytime she’s going out with friends she puts in all the effort in the world to look sexy for people she supposedly has no interest in. Which really hurt my self esteem and had sewn seeds of her possible infidelity in my head. It’s wrong to treat someone differently based on the effort they put in to their appearance but it does hurt when they do put in effort but just not for you. Not saying you did any of that just how it goes.
@@elijahparks2417 Just like you, I think her story is a bit....biased, maybe made up?
@@elijahparks2417I went through the same thing. She started going out with co workers and dressing nice but when I wanted to take her out she would act like it was a burden. My self esteem none existent and threw myself into my work taking all the overtime I could to avoid thinking about it. Then 1 day when I was leaving for work at 3 am she was just getting in from clubbing with her friends and I knew it was over.
I'd have a hard time forgiving a person who was an asshole for no good reason.
I dated a man who told me he would dump me if I ever gained weight. I promptly dumped him. He wasn't anything special anyway
You saved yourself from a lot of hurt and trouble. Congrats.
I don’t even have kids and this really hit home for me. Thank you for posting this video.
I am someone who has struggled with body image and self worth for most of my life. And my partner when we first started was obviously very attracted to me and that felt good. I felt wanted. For that and for so many other reasons.
And then that new period ended and it waned a bit. Which is very normal.
And then his work went absolutely crazy. It’s been madness. And he’s been so exhausted he can hardly think straight let alone muster up much in the way of physical affection. Which I understood intellectually but really really hurt emotionally. Because it wasn’t for a short period of time. It’s been almost a year of absolute madness. And that isn’t his fault but we need to sit down and have this exact conversation. Because I know how much he loves me, he shows me that all the time no matter how tired he is, but I need to still know he wants me. And I need to do some work around my own self worth so that I can still want me.
What does her husband look like? She beats herself up on how she feels. Wake up! It’s HIM not you! If he loves you it won’t matter.
It's tricky when it comes to intuition vs creating a story about ourselves; both can be true to an extent.
ONLY taking pics of their son is a red flag, but EQUALLY taking pics of JUST the baby is common in the EARLY stages of their development.
Trust your instincts and have a convo. But, look good for you, not for someone else.
I'm single, but this felt like such a real life marriage example to keep in my head for the future marriage I have. This show is so great. Much thanks.
So true also about feeling sexy in our skin regardless. I noticed men will smile at me and say hi when I leave my house feeling attractive.
I wish more women would do beauty for themselves, not for men. That's when it becomes TRULY powerful.
My ex husband told me that he wasn't into fat people when I asked why he was behaving differently towards me in my first pregnancy. I should have seen that red flag.
Instead, I felt like a failure for having gained more weight than the "minimum" required. And I was terrified the next time I got pregnant. I ended up with a very disordered eating pattern and gaining only the bare minimum weight. Otherwise, he wouldn't bother to even look at me. 😢
He would comment on other things about how I look, and if I tried to explain that that was hurtful to me, he would tell me I was being sensitive, the he was only being honest, and he asked me if I wanted him to lie to me. 😢
That is horrible and no husband material…
@jrr2045 I'm so sorry 🙏🏿 ❤️ I pray you experience true, unconditional love
I’m SO sorry. Thank GOD he’s an ex. We women simply MUST raise our standards of who we will date, marry, and bear children with. There are so many men who should never marry.
@@Dixie8642 Most of these men don't deserve a damn thing let alone a family.
I don't want to be overweight or married to someone over weight. As such, I believe it is good to be honest about that. My husband and I are. There is much love between us but we also let each other know when the bellies are looking a little big. ❤😊
I think John might not be completely right on this one
He is not going to go there just not to be disrespectful to his wife and women. But women know looks matter as well as character to go with it. Looks will not keep the love in the relationship long term and we all age but the character and personality will. It's better to be with someone who values good character and personality
Her husband may just be trying to be conscientious of how she feels about her skin and not put pressure on her to take photographs. He may not have the tools to talk about it and bring it up. So yes, a conversation is needed.
my wife told me not to take photos of her few times. So I stoped.
Life is complicated but people need to take accountability as well.
@@valdius85yes communication is key
I appreciate John advising to make her husband verbally, officially confirm his opinions on the matter. What I wonder is: if the husband tries to play the 'nice' route to avoid confrontation, but she senses something is off, are you going to say that is projection too? Like where/how do we weigh inferential intelligence vs. projection?
I also think we're circling around an obvious truth that men don't really like women after their bodies change from childbirth, and for some reason are *often* surprised. She noted that part of why he wanted to be with her was the physical connection, and she's very concretely noted things that would reduce the quality of her appearance: Hyperpigmentation on her skin, weaker/ thinner hair, and a tired body taking care of a 1.5 yr. - Like those are objective reasons to infer she's no longer his sexual interest.
Tash. Precisely. Dr John has gone a bit ,,Psychobabble ,, here. She has noticed something is different with hubby . That should be enough. Don't undermine her instincts, Dr John.
shes jumping to conclusions and sounds like she is putting her insecurities on her husband. she hasnt even tried to talk to him about it. The first step shouldve been to talk to her partner first and not a guy on a podcast. Contrary to popular belief men cannot read minds and he may not even know this is upsetting her. Communication is key in a relationship and it sounds like she isnt communicating her feelings to him.
@@Mral236d So. You don't put any store by women,s intuition, our gut feelings, our antennae.? We are told to listen to our gut feelings when sensing danger. This is absolutely no different. You can't tell women to listen to their instincts in one situation, but to ignore them in another !
@@lottielane2486 ….she hasn’t even tried talking to him about it you completely missed the point. Some women like you and the one on this call expect men to just read minds when unfortunately we cannot. She’s putting their business on the internet for the world to hear and hasn’t even attempted to communicate how she’s feels to the person she vowed to spend the rest of her life with. It’s no wonder so many relationships fail when people can’t even communicate with each other. And it goes both ways not just with women. It takes 2 for a relationship. God gave you a mouth. use it to communicate how you feel instead of assuming everyone knows.
@@Mral236d Totally agree she needs to talk to him. That is a given. But you said ,,she's jumping to conclusions, and putting her insecurities on her husband,,. That's why I replied as I did !
I’ve been watching John Delony videos for a year now and I can honestly say with each one I never know what he will say. This show should be much more known.
If they’ll do it with you, they’ll do it to you.
-Dr. Phil
To everyone assuming that she was a side chick… that is an assumption.
They probably are different ages but so what???
He could have gotten married at 20, divorced at 40 and the woman on the phone could be anywhere from 22-42. That is my guess. We can’t assume things that were not spoken about on the phone.
Also John said at 16:10 he could be a massive jerk… we don’t know enough to assume.
You never are able to get to your pre-pregnant body. Even if you get back to your pre pregnancy weight, everything is redistributed! I got pregnant with my first and to keep my job, I was in the military , I had to meet a certain weight based on age and biological sex. Guess what? I lost my butt, gained boobs and a c section pouch because I was going to die! Went thru 18 hours labor with first before c section before anyone says I took the easy way out! Guess what ? stuff I couldn’t wear, I could and stuff I previously worn, I could not! It was wild. And #2 changed me again! And I had to weigh even less because I shrunk! Damn gravity! Even when I met the lower weight, I still did not have a waist any longer! Instead of the hourglass that I was previously, now I was an apple ! It sucks! Men, if you have any sense, you should still love your spouse as she changes and not hold on to what was!
Yes ma'am 🗣🙏🏿❤️
Hmmm....You may have diastasis recti where your abdominal muscles spread, you need to do exercises to close them back up. And your butt shouldn't change either, maybe become less round if you're not exercising but that can be fixed as well. Most women I know get a bigger booty after babies
@@CrystalM1917it’s not worth it to work to this level with the body. It’s ok to embrace change.
@manifest2203 normal healthy exercise is not worth it? None of the exercises are extreme. Are you serious lmao?
@@manifest2203 Exercise should be worth it, when you get older you loose bone density and many woman get osteoporosis... Giving birth increases your chances, especially if you give birth more than once - Strength training makes your bones and muscles stronger - It is not just about looking good, there are other important benefits.
A beautiful women aging is equivalent of a man realizing hes not as fast and strong and capable. It can really mess your head up
The way you look is probably directly correlated to how you feel. On days you don't look awesome you're probably exerting less effort into self care which is probably a physical manifestation of poor emotional regulation, feeling overwhelmed, being stressed, and all those things are valid! It's important to look behind this aspect as it's possible your husband it's shallow and what he's really responding to is your method by which you're engaging with him. I always say, my girlfriend could go roll in a pig pen and I'd still want to kiss her. Just place more value in his love for you and look at how you're acting towards him. Assuming you aren't a Mormon or some other religion that really cares about cleanliness or appearance this concern is probably immaterial to the issue at hand which is your treatment of him. Also it's good to address these things. He may be unaware but expecting consistent good treatment when you're not exerting the same level of effort into your relationship with him is an unrealistic expectation. Many people fall into this trap men and women both, love for your child while in the eyes of good parent is valuable, wonderful, remarkable, and important. Does not compensate for the love which may not bring shown at this point in time.
I understand her so much, I was in her shoes a while ago. I think she lost her sense of self because of her current life as a mom, maybe she needs friends to go out, to do things and just to have fun. Find new hobbies and fall in love with not just herself but with her life, and only then your partner will look at you with different eyes, because you are already happy, you are not putting on his shoulders this responsibility
I treat my wife differently based on how she looks, especially when she's not wearing clothes.
😆
Lol love this
As you should!!! You sound like a great husband! 😂 I’m sure your wife feels the same about you too 😊
Cuz boobies.
Geeeezs 😂😂😂😂
Damn when Im sad about being single...I come here and get such relief lol
She sounds like the woman who caused her husbands divorce. She was the younger woman and now she is afraid he will leave her too. He skipped the "real" question of when she met her husband but it seems we all picked up on it.
Maybe he’s a narcissist. Once you have a kid, they think you will never leave. Let the discard begin!
📍
John I love you so much!
“Here are the stories I’m telling myself….” So many stories in my head! Thank you for this verbiage!!😊
He got it from Brene Brown, and she got it from studying humans. She says one thing that really successful marriages have in common is that they use some form of the expression, “The story I’m telling myself . . . “ ❤️ Best story ever on this told by her in A Call to Courage. ❤️
Yes! Women give up their name... change of identity. Sacrifice their bodies in childbirth. Will never be quite the same. And when divorce occurs, men complain about financial losses.
More money can be made. The sacrifices women make are life long. Yes. They could reclaim their last name. But then their children would have a different name? That would be weird.
Young lady, you birthed a new human!!! YOU are impacting the future through how you train your children. Embrace your own worth.
While others may fail to see and honor you... don't fail to know your own worth! ❤🎉😊
Phase 1: Person enters a sexual relationship, Which is based on attractiveness.
Phase 2: Person becomes less attractive.
Phase 3: Partner becomes less attracted.
Phase 4: Suprised Pikachu face
What's phase 5?
😂
@@Ducklingy57 Phase 5 is calling John Delony
Phase 5: get a new woman
😂😂😂😂😂 Hilarious breakdown!
Her self-esteem is definitively her main problem.
Thanks to her superficial husband
It sounds like she was the other woman and now that he’s with her, the excitement is gone. Pay attention to what she’s saying “for years he used to take pictures of me when we were out” 20 yr marriage but somehow they were together for years. Her insecurities are what’s bringing her to these conclusions.
> When he walks in you quickly cover up with a towel.
Yeah, been there. When I remark on how pretty she looks or whistle at her or something she tells me "I don't feel pretty right now don't do that."
And basically it trained me to stop commenting, stop looking...
Because I can't read her mind -- I don't know when she feels pretty and when she doesn't, so I'm not gonna do something she doesn't like half the time that makes me feel vulnerable and bad for trying to show affection.
I'm okay with not looking, but I don't think she gets that I can't turn it on/off at will, if I'm not looking I'm not looking both when you don't want me to look and when you do.
@@Ne0nx3r03 try approaching it with this honesty. For women it’s very on/off so for us it’s kinda unbelievable that you truly could find anyone gorgeous 24/7. Try also asking her how can you help her feel beautiful-maybe it’s helping her around, or a night out, or something of the sort you can do together
You say you can't read her mind, but she can't read your mind either. You need to tell her how you feel and hopefully this will open an honest conversation. Like Delony says choose guilt over resentment.
I was that woman. It was a matter of love language. I trust physical touch more than words, in fact words meant nothing to me. Try to touch her, look at her more. I believe she'll start to feel different then.
She is right to be self conscious. He’s probably found someone else younger, prettier. Seems to be his M.O.
I feel for this woman... The only rime in the call she had some enthusiasm was the moment she felt john mentioned something she could change about herself. She doesn't feel worthy, pretty, worth loving. She feels she needs to be something different to be loved. She is incredibly insecure. I feel ya...
This man’s first marriage was 20 years and now he’s on his second? That puts him at his 40’s or 50’s. Could just be that his equipment isn’t functional with medication anymore
"Equipment" 😅 ma'ammmm 😂😂
My husband doesn't seem to notice me even when I put on makeup and wear sexy clothes... And I'm not a slouch in the looks department! It does bother me sometimes..
I feel you. Same here girl 😢
Me too
☹
Same. And when compliments come from other men I just want to 😢
Sounds like he's emotionally abusive. My husband is same he never says I look beautiful even if I wear new clothes hair done and everyone else says I'm looking good. He won't I honestly don't think he stands it when people admire me or compliment me and also by not saying nice things to me I believe is emotionally abusive and he trying to erode my self esteem. It doesn't work anymore. I get dressed up for me now not for him
Completely normal, Momma. ❤ it’ll get better and your skin and hair concerns will correct itself. And if by chance it doesn’t, you’re beautiful as you are.
Honestly this felt like you were gaslighting this woman to go against her instincts and that what she was feeling was wrong. She needs to listen to her gut and decide what she wants to do going forward.
How is this gaslighting? He’s right, she needs to take responsibility for how she feels instead of “instinctively” blaming it on her partner. John is trying to say that she’ll never know the answer unless she has that conversation, but if she approaches the conversation from a “I feel like you don’t” or “I feel like you” then you’re instantly putting your partner in defense mode. All anyone ever can truly know is how they feel, and your feelings are your responsibility to own. So, in assuming he doesn’t take pictures of her because he’s not attracted to her, and that’s why she feels ugly, is not productive. Take out the extra stuff and communicate your feelings or lack thereof ie; I don’t feel a connection, I feel unattractive, i can’t help but to feel like my looks are fading. When you say “when he does this he makes me feel” is false. You have your own feelings. He doesn’t “make” you feel. He can hurt your feelings, but not force you to feel.
Feelings are emotions, which are physical. You don’t get to assign a feeling with an action of someone else, in this case, your partner. When you express what you’re feeling, all you ever need to say is the physical emotion that you feel. You can’t come up with a story about why you feel this way, especially if you’re projecting that onto your partner. I hope you read this with an open mind and try to grasp what I’m getting at. I mean well and it’s something to think about in your personal relationship.
Nothing good ever comes from the word “you”. If you have an honest and well meaning partner, they will tell you what they’re thinking if you approach a situation correctly. Insecurity and projection is the reason communication isn’t common anymore.
People don’t realize they do this when approaching their partner but it’s all too common. They’re usually very insecure and this is why they project. They’ve already ruminated on 50 different reasons your partner did or didn’t do something based on how they feel, and come to a conclusion long before they sit down to talk. When you start a conversation under the premise that my action or inaction is because I think a certain way about you, then that quite literally is not talking about YOUR feelings. You’re assuming my thought process in regards to how you feel. Saying “you only ever compliment me when I’m wearing makeup makes me feel like I’m ugly” is toxic and most people don’t realize this. Though it may be true, you’re only saying that because of insecurity. To put that on your partner is not okay because you have no intention of hearing them out when beginning something like that.
There’s no such thing as an external feeling. For example, it’s not a “feeling” to feel as though your husband isn’t attracted to you. That’s not how you feel. It’s impossible, and this is also all too common. You can’t “feel like”someone else. You can THINK someone else is/isnt… ie; I think you’re not attracted to me anymore, but that wouldn’t be fair. Dig deeper and find a true emotion your feeling, stop assigning thought to feeling and calling it feeling. It’s incorrect. What you mean to say is you feel bad about yourself, or you feel ugly. It’s simply to grasp, but people are so insecure they shut out the actual emotion they’re feeling and subconsciously use language to project it on others… so yeah
Men don’t understand the trauma our bodies go through during childbirth.
I dont know why people are attacking this lady. She obviously doesn't know how to approach this with her husband, theres nothing wrong with that.
Edit: Everybody is dragging her, but not her dusty husband? SMH these xy's are all 🗑
Because of all the background information. I don't feel sorry for her either.
Sounds like her husband is way older than her too
Every indicator says she was most likely the other woman for a man who broke his vow to his last wife and seems highly preoccupied with physical appearance. She should be worried
Because it sounds like she was the side piece that broke up that marriage. Sorry for not having empathy for the homewrecker.
@@pinkpugginz Yeah, guessing 15 - 20 years older. A bit of a father-daughter dynamic going on (instead of equal partners/equal age cohort).
As far as melasma or skin concerns go, there are many ways to remedy it. CeraVe Vitamin C serum fades them. Five years ago I began using LED Masks on my face, neck, chest & hands.
What a difference it makes!
Everyone else noticed before I did.
Now, I don't have a BF, I don't date at all. Single & celibate by choice has been working for me since 2012.
These practices are just to take care of my skin, just to do it. Every person ought to take care of themselves,
Celibacy and no dating honestly adds tremendously to youthful looks. No husband or boyfriend stress is a win.
What are LED masks? Do you mean lights? I have melasma and just live with it, cover up in the sun as I assumed not much could be done. Winter you can't see it much, summer it darkens. But you have me curious to check this out.
Can you recommend a good led red light therapy mask you like best?❤❤❤id appreciate your advice
I hate melasma!! I got rid of mine using a glycolic acid product. Sunscreen is needed to keep it up.
Check out UA-camr Emily Noel for how to cover melasma with makeup. You need to use a color corrector.
@@dudeorduuude5211Try Musely products online, it's an Rx but very effective and I've tried everything. I've been using it since July and slowly all my spots are fading. You send them photos online and they link you with a dermatologist and then tell you what to use. You can cancel if you don't like the product.
Every man treats his wife differently based on how she looks. Wives also treat their husbands differently based on how they look. In fact, everyone treats everyone differently based on how they look. You look better, you get treated better. Welcome to real life.
It saddens me that this is the truth
Not necessarily , there are other factors like social status and net worth. Lots of successful people out there who aren't attractive. But it certainly doesn't hurt anything.
But what if he says, “what? I don’t know what you are talking about. I still think you are hot.” But is actually thinking, “Yeah, you do kind of look like you have a mustache now”.
What if he died in a car wreck tomorrow?
What if he was eaten by rats?
What if a nuclear bomb goes off this week?
Your what if question is just as delusional.
How were you hanging out with a married man for years? Why was a married man taking pictures of you while hanging out? Something is off...
This is yet another reason it’s gonna take a miracle to get a baby out of me.
She broke up a marriage and got pregnant and now she’s no longer attractive and now he’s regretting his decisions lol
You could be right!!
@@angelasepi657 i am 👍
she broke up a marriage? Lol. You mean he left his wife? I love the lack of accountability from men. You all do nothing wrong. She seduced you.
If he loved his wife he wouldn't leave her.
@@SarahConnor562 except her entire complaint is about her husband (in the title) and she felt it was important to mention the past marriage. Also, getting pregnant from marriage is pretty normal.
It is very hard to have intimate time with kids around.
When I was fat and overweight my ex would not walk beside me or hold my hand in public. When I lost weight and started looking fine he was stuck to me like glue. I don't do those kinda relationships lol that's why he's my ex. I don't put up with that lol no ways . Cya later lol
John is right; she should talk to the husband, BUT her intuition may be right …..especially if their initial attraction was physical.
No one can love/like you until you learn to love/like yourself.
I disagree
John joking about our non existent secret man meetings is the perfect cover for our secret man meetings. That’s some 3D chess right there. Well done.
Have to say I feel this woman. Sometimes you have to admit, she might be right about her assumption. Sometimes, some men just suck.
Wouldn't it be better to verify those assumptions instead of running with them, acting as if they are true, and ruining your marriage?
@@JukiCombo , She did verify them. He stated it outright. Didn't you listen? I mean, do we not take him at face value on why he doesn't like her body?
@@CS_Star_0m I'm speaking mostly in generalities.
But yes, she verified with him on ONE of her assumptions, and that's good.
The assumption as to why he takes pictures of the child and not her wasn't addressed, however.
Here's my general point. Women should be weary of their tendency to assume the worst of their partner based on how they are feeling in the moment, then acting as though said assumption was true. It creates a negative spiral that can ruin a marriage.
I do sympathise with the lady in the video: she's insecure about her body, she's going through depression, taking depression drugs, she recently gave birth, so Lord knows how much post-partum depression is still lingering in her system.
She's a hurricane of chaotic emotions, and I don't intend to go hard on her.
However, I must point out the dangers her actions pose to the marriage.
@@JukiCombo , What do you mean? LOL He isn't taking photos of her because she's overweight....She didn't assume. Women don't assume. We are proven these assumptions because men prove it with their actions. Looking at other women that's adultery to begin with, and not taking photos of her, proves he doesn't care enough to save the moment for the future. She would not be a "hurricane of emotions" If he didn't do this to her. HIS actions dangered their marriage. She did nothing wrong.
@@JukiCombo , Please let every woman you marry in the future know you feel this way and if she gets larger, you will judge her negatively, so she doesn't waste her time.
There are so many comments asserting that she’s in a superficial marriage just because she mentioned her husband left his 20 year marriage of no ‘physical connection’. But as the conversation goes on, you can see how emotionally charged she is, how insecure she feels about herself. She may be projecting the worst case scenarios about herself marriage but we don’t know because she’s never brought it up with her husband. I think youre judging her with such a microscopic lens- you really need to have a wider view on what can or cannot be true.
If her Husband was married for 20 years before her, he can't look great anymore! 😮
My ex used to spit on me and tell me he's more interested in hooker's. Glad I got out of that misery!
Oh my gosh i’m so sorry! 😢
Me too. That's disgusting.... Shame on him. 😢
What ?
WOW 😮
Karma is coming for your ex.
To the caller. There's nothing more beautiful than a brand new mom! I hope you're able to work through your self talk and discuss with your husband on how you plan to change your mindset for the better!
A year and a half isn't new mom
👀
What a gross comment.
@@GracefulGardenia facts not your strong point, eh
@@analyticalchick3064 I think it's gross to tell this mom to change her mindset when she is correctly identifying that her husband treats her differently without makeup. What facts are you referring to?
It has hit me very much, a change of identity, very true, thank you for sharing!!
The mistress marriage never works.
😂 everyone knows she's the mistress
he threatened to leave, he threatened to stay. Everything is a threat, unless he pays
That's what you're getting when you're out there breaking up a 20 years old marriage. Side pieces will never get sympathy, babe. You get what you deserve.
True
Nowhere is it mentioned that she broke up their marriage ..... You can not just jump to conclusions ... He might have divorced his wife and then only started dating again ... Very few people stay single after getting divorce ... People move on and remarry.
@@suneldesigns4515 how do you know how it is?
@@birsancristina9278 I don't, that's my whole point, I am giving a different perspective from yours to show that there are different situations.... We don't know, so we can't assume and jump to conclusions.
@@suneldesigns4515 mkay🙄
Now what? What are you defending here?
I don’t know… I wouldn’t point out my specific flaws. Sometimes, a guy doesn’t even notice them and then we hand them a magnifier they can’t stop seeing through now.
The very first thing is she needs to do is to talk with her husband and stop making things up in her mind. More then likely he senses your mood and is actively adjusting to it. Or even worse both of you are misreading each other.
He's going to cheat or leave you! If he left his wife for something better looking and you just had a kid, he's going to replace you
I actually don’t agree with him on this one. Sometimes a woman just knows when her partner has lost attraction to her. I felt that way, tried to convince myself he was still attracted to me, dressed up etc and he stepped out.
When you win the lottery you don't stay screaming the rest of your life, just in the moment. That does not mean you feel any less excited when your house is paid for or have no stress
So he hasnt said anything directly yet shes making all these assumptions about him and what hes thinking? Is it possible that SHE puts herself in this negative mindset and he sees that and just assumes she wants her peace and leaves her to be? Or she just brings this dark cloud over the whole relationship and gets mad at him when hes showing the result of living with that dark cloud.
Even so we should be trying to give the best version of ourselves to each other and that includes physically.
When I came back after three months overseas my then husband would hardly look at me, let alone try to have sex with me. I was flabbergasted. I confronted him and he said that he thought I would not want him all over me, after three months in India. I DID. Communication is the key!
He cheated
@@uhhggg9335 😆no, just British!
He is lying.
If she is insecure it’s because of her husband.
I think attraction leaves a lot of marriages
😢
And a lot of people would just never voice that out loud but instead keep that thought locked up
It would do no good to voice it out loud.