Unhealed people shouldn’t be counseling other hurt people. My husband and I are one. If something is going on with either one of us, the other one knows, and often with no words needed. He can trust that I am emotionally stable and wise enough (through God) to handle whatever he’s dealing with. He will never have to protect himself from me.
I dated a man who had a toxic relationship with someone close. He told me a few stories of things that happened before we met and I witnessed one or two of these traits while we were together. One time after a car accident, this person behaved terribly and broke his heart. I told him that we can't help fix people who don't want help. It's this person's behavior pattern to act out when they feel a lack of control. I explained the similarities between this incident and his "brother's" past behavior. He became so offended, he said I was using intimate conversations we had against him. I was shocked. In my mind, I was making him aware of a pattern that existed between them. I was showing him that his "brother" can't be expected to step up at critical moments and in fact, he's almost guaranteed to make the situation worse if you call on him. Not because he's a bad person, but I think his default setting is panic and survival. I thought I brought attention to a pattern in their relationship. He felt I was using confidential information against him. We didn't last long after that. I can only hope that one day I can 1. Meet a man who recognizes wisdom when it is given to him. 2. If I am wrong for doing this, he will help me understand why I was wrong. 3. Never assume that I'm the enemy when we disagree.
Shaq has two baby mamas & has been through a multitude of women. And Kountry Wayne said it best when he said, “the world.” People of the world can’t be trusted. We must have Christ as the head of our lives. Period!
Matthews 19:5-6 teaches “One flesh”if you’re truly “One flesh “how can you keep anything from one another or throw it in the others face? If you’re “equally yoked”’ you will be “strong” enough to face anything “ together” that comes against the two of you. Today’s problem is people are marrying the wrong person. We should let God join us together. We truly make bad decisions on our own.
This is simple. We make it complicated though. My wife and I are becoming one. Does your right hand not know the pain of the left hand? Learning to become one means I as husband have to be open to communicating/sharing my heart with my wife. We are both learning to die to self as each of us are submitted in relationship with God. Dying hurts and so does sharing sometimes. What is really being said here is men don't want to feel or look vulnerable before their wife. If a husband can't share his heart with the person he is becoming one with then who? Yes, its important to have friends to share with and get wisdom but my Bible teaches me in Psalms 31 "She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness." So I disagree on the notion that a virtuous God fearing woman can't handle what I may be carrying emotionally. The closer I as husband am submitted to Christ the easier it is to share my deepest thoughts with my wife because I practiced doing so with the Father. So as he so eloquently put it the wife sees and learns to trust and feels secure in submitting to the husband because he is naked/submitted before God. She sees the vulnerability and surrender of her head. She sees the God he serves. A husband is your wife's first line Pastor. That's why a woman will submit. FYE I wouldn't expect non believers like Shaq to understand any of this so of course they wouldn't share because they don't understand the principles/purposes of a marriage or roles of the wife/husband. They are still walking around in the darkness of their own pride. Been married coming up on 19 years and there is literally nothing I can't share with my wife. She may not have the answers but she can always provide a safe space to vent and reminds me to take it to the Lord and goes with me in prayer. Just sayin
It is actually sinful to share everything with your wife, that is why the Bible commands husbands to honor their wives as the weaker vessel. This has nothing to do with physical strength btw and is also why God does not give women the blessed but heavy burden of preaching to anyone or teaching (men) within The Body. 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
This was beautifully said! When God is leading both wife and husband, they should be able to hold each other up and love their spouse without weaponizing anything shared. I’m sorry for the brother, but all women are not the same. Blessings 🙏🏾💕
@@CCD_106 I would disagree with how you are interpreting that scripture. You really need to read it in context. You are reading into the scripture something that is clearly not there. The chaper itself is about being in unity, submission and how to respond to sin. The specific passage is talking about submission of the wife and how a husband should honor his wife. The husband is to protect his wife in all ways that's all that scripture mean. The wife is to submit even to her husband as she would to God. How are we to share one anothers burdens if we don't share sir. As the scriptures prescribes in Galatians 6:2. Also if you can please explain how communicating / sharing with your wife is equates to sin. No where in that passage is Peter saying that. Where does he imply or say not to share with his wife? Never heard anyone interprete that scripture like that. Now there is supposed to be wisdom in how I share as a husband but no scripture teaches it's a sin to share with you wife.
@Truthtella See Galatians 6:1-2. Also, please always keep in mind that marriage is to reflect Christ and His Church; remember, there are many things that Jesus did not share with every Apostle (Apostles = the earliest church). If you don't agree still, what is your interpretation of why the Bible brings up the "weaker vessel" command to husbands?
@Truthtella See Galatians 6:1-2...there is nothing remotely close to this in the Bible for wives. Please always keep in mind that marriage is to reflect Christ and His Church; remember, there are many things that Jesus did not share with every Apostle (Apostles = the earliest church). If you don't agree still, what is your interpretation of why the Bible brings up the "weaker vessel" command to husbands?
I do not agree! You’re just dating/ married to the wrong type of woman. You should be able to open up to your partner and anything you might not be able to talk to them about you need to pray to God about it. The only exception to that is perhaps the man who is discipling you. He should be able to give you some guidance on how to handle the situation. Just my opinion. I’m a married woman so I guess I don’t know what it feels like to be a man.
Prayers up for the man sitting in the back/beside of Plain James. It's clear he is still hurting and healing from his past relationship😢. Not all women are like that and there are men that will weaponize either verbally or by action as well. You have to go to Jesus first because we tend to forget God allows free will and with that imperfection and flaws Do exist. There is to much emphasis on the man and woman character traits, when it is shown many times over people are people and the gender does not matter. Women are Designed to handle and resolve any situation whether she worry or not..But I agree "girls" lacking wisdom and maturity in God may not be Designed to handle certain topics brought to the table..Be careful because the enemy loves capitalizing off Broad statements to keep us bond n limited in belief.
Yes, you show love, and if it lines up with God's love it is right. He said he made us in the image of him and everything that comes from God is good 🌟
I have never had submission explained to me. The way this conversation broke it down. When I was married, I looked at submission. In a different way. So I didn't love her properly.
My husband came to me over everything. We talked about everything. When we married it was to each other we did not need anyone on the outside in our relationship. #27 years strong. Hes been gone for 6 years. Why would u talk to men that has nothing to do with your spouses decisions and yours together.
I remember when I was dating and a guy asked me have I ever cheated. I said once because I wanted my child to still see a two-parent household. He called 😂😂😂 you must be cheating as you did in your past 😂😂😂 bye boy
Seek the Lord first. Then your spouse. He'll let you know what you can and can't share with your spouse. Also, some women can get vert jealous and suspicious when you're sharing with your brothers and not with them. Relationship with God and spiritual maturity are crucial.
Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. I think what's being discussed is part of the last 5 words of this verse. Good discussion ; the vid could have been twice as long, easily.
a) I don't know what kind of women you know - pray and we both go to sleep and work on it in a few days after we sit it before God. b) You can't make a closeness and support when you come against something - you have to develop and create a good foundation beforehand. c) All females just like all males don't respond he same. Yall and just physical just immature, when you grow up what you did as a child you put those things away when you mature. Who cares what the world statics say - what does God's word say - whose report shall you believe. d) I love that sir - your explanation was biblically sound. When we stop using excuses that the word ordains and submit to the Holy Spirit and fight the good fight of faith. No not submitted to that fool but submit to God. Deny You - Pick up your cross and Follow Him.
I pray my husband can talk to me about anything. That is my friend, my guy. If he can't come to me I pray he goes to God and he also has a positive male that he can talk to that will tell him what God wants him to know
Why so much emphasis on the wife using those things against you? That’s an issue of self protection. To be ultimately ‘safe’ you would need to literally keep everything to yourself. Yes, you can be hurt in your life, yes a woman could cut you deep in an argument, but why let destroy the relationship. Women tend to be more emotional, and lash out. They’re not ultimately wanting you to be hurt or fail. Through sickness and health, happiness and sadness. What can also help is sharing processes you’ve already worked through, then she can know and trust that if you have an issue, you work it out with God and grow/mature. Then sharing other vulnerabilities, she’s able to see you process in real time and get to the other side. In the end the two become one. You hurt is hers and vice versa.
I do not listen to the ignorant opinions of unmarried fornicating non Christian baby parents. The end. Glory be to GOD❤ We need to make a conscious effort to seek understanding, live according to the word, and stop letting the enemy keep us divided. It’s ridiculous atp. We act a fool Behind hurt feelings/bruised egos when Jesus got beat to a pulp, nailed to a whole cross & was completely without sin! We have got to grown up!
Exactly, trust the God in you, because the bible tells us not to lean to our own understanding and not be wise in your own eyes, so it doesn't mesh with the bible to tell your wife to trust you when it is clear that are hearts are deceitful and wicked...listen to what you are saying and then mesh it with the bible.
Help-mate is not a helpful translation for what Eve was to Adam. That word is only translated as help-mate in that garden everywhere else it is help or Savior and associated with God. It is like a saving Helper. You should be able to tell her you are struggling and she should be able to help you. It's not perfect because she might do the things these people fear but you as a leader should be helping her transform to be a better follower as well as her helping you.
13:33 bro you are bugging....you're taking about the best of the best women. The average woman with traumas and complexity don't care how good you are.
Why so much emphasis on the wife using those things against you? That’s an issue of self protection. To be ultimately ‘safe’ you would need to literally keep everything to yourself. Yes, you can be hurt in your life, yes a woman could cut you deep in an argument, but why let destroy the relationship. Women tend to be more emotional, and lash out. They’re not ultimately wanting you to be hurt or fail. Through sickness and health, happiness and sadness. What can also help is sharing processes you’ve already worked through, then she can know and trust that if you have an issue, you work it out with God and grow/mature. Then sharing other vulnerabilities, she’s able to see you process in real time and get to the other side. In the end the two become one. You hurt is hers and vice versa.
The more I listen to non Christians' views about marriage, the more I'm convinced you need God at the centre of such a union.
I'm thankful the the conversations here are returning to things that hit the heart.
Dude if the man isnt submitted to GOD shes not submitting period! He leading her to hell why would she submit. Makes no sense
That's why there should not be marrying unequally yoked.
Unhealed people shouldn’t be counseling other hurt people.
My husband and I are one. If something is going on with either one of us, the other one knows, and often with no words needed. He can trust that I am emotionally stable and wise enough (through God) to handle whatever he’s dealing with. He will never have to protect himself from me.
I dated a man who had a toxic relationship with someone close. He told me a few stories of things that happened before we met and I witnessed one or two of these traits while we were together.
One time after a car accident, this person behaved terribly and broke his heart.
I told him that we can't help fix people who don't want help. It's this person's behavior pattern to act out when they feel a lack of control. I explained the similarities between this incident and his "brother's" past behavior.
He became so offended, he said I was using intimate conversations we had against him. I was shocked. In my mind, I was making him aware of a pattern that existed between them. I was showing him that his "brother" can't be expected to step up at critical moments and in fact, he's almost guaranteed to make the situation worse if you call on him. Not because he's a bad person, but I think his default setting is panic and survival.
I thought I brought attention to a pattern in their relationship. He felt I was using confidential information against him. We didn't last long after that.
I can only hope that one day I can
1. Meet a man who recognizes wisdom when it is given to him.
2. If I am wrong for doing this, he will help me understand why I was wrong.
3. Never assume that I'm the enemy when we disagree.
Shaq has two baby mamas & has been through a multitude of women. And Kountry Wayne said it best when he said, “the world.” People of the world can’t be trusted. We must have Christ as the head of our lives. Period!
There's a clear difference in stance between the "happily married ones" and the divorced/single ones... interesting. 🤔
Matthews 19:5-6 teaches “One flesh”if you’re truly
“One flesh “how can you keep anything from one another or throw it in the others face? If you’re “equally yoked”’ you will be “strong” enough to face anything
“ together” that comes against the two of you. Today’s problem is people are marrying the wrong person. We should let God join us together. We truly make bad decisions on our own.
This sad on so many levels 🥺Praying for these brothers and sisters who believe this
This is simple. We make it complicated though. My wife and I are becoming one. Does your right hand not know the pain of the left hand? Learning to become one means I as husband have to be open to communicating/sharing my heart with my wife. We are both learning to die to self as each of us are submitted in relationship with God. Dying hurts and so does sharing sometimes. What is really being said here is men don't want to feel or look vulnerable before their wife. If a husband can't share his heart with the person he is becoming one with then who? Yes, its important to have friends to share with and get wisdom but my Bible teaches me in Psalms 31 "She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness." So I disagree on the notion that a virtuous God fearing woman can't handle what I may be carrying emotionally. The closer I as husband am submitted to Christ the easier it is to share my deepest thoughts with my wife because I practiced doing so with the Father. So as he so eloquently put it the wife sees and learns to trust and feels secure in submitting to the husband because he is naked/submitted before God. She sees the vulnerability and surrender of her head. She sees the God he serves. A husband is your wife's first line Pastor. That's why a woman will submit. FYE I wouldn't expect non believers like Shaq to understand any of this so of course they wouldn't share because they don't understand the principles/purposes of a marriage or roles of the wife/husband. They are still walking around in the darkness of their own pride. Been married coming up on 19 years and there is literally nothing I can't share with my wife. She may not have the answers but she can always provide a safe space to vent and reminds me to take it to the Lord and goes with me in prayer. Just sayin
It is actually sinful to share everything with your wife, that is why the Bible commands husbands to honor their wives as the weaker vessel. This has nothing to do with physical strength btw and is also why God does not give women the blessed but heavy burden of preaching to anyone or teaching (men) within The Body. 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
This was beautifully said! When God is leading both wife and husband, they should be able to hold each other up and love their spouse without weaponizing anything shared. I’m sorry for the brother, but all women are not the same. Blessings 🙏🏾💕
@@CCD_106 I would disagree with how you are interpreting that scripture. You really need to read it in context. You are reading into the scripture something that is clearly not there. The chaper itself is about being in unity, submission and how to respond to sin. The specific passage is talking about submission of the wife and how a husband should honor his wife. The husband is to protect his wife in all ways that's all that scripture mean. The wife is to submit even to her husband as she would to God. How are we to share one anothers burdens if we don't share sir. As the scriptures prescribes in Galatians 6:2. Also if you can please explain how communicating / sharing with your wife is equates to sin. No where in that passage is Peter saying that. Where does he imply or say not to share with his wife? Never heard anyone interprete that scripture like that. Now there is supposed to be wisdom in how I share as a husband but no scripture teaches it's a sin to share with you wife.
@Truthtella See Galatians 6:1-2. Also, please always keep in mind that marriage is to reflect Christ and His Church; remember, there are many things that Jesus did not share with every Apostle (Apostles = the earliest church). If you don't agree still, what is your interpretation of why the Bible brings up the "weaker vessel" command to husbands?
@Truthtella See Galatians 6:1-2...there is nothing remotely close to this in the Bible for wives. Please always keep in mind that marriage is to reflect Christ and His Church; remember, there are many things that Jesus did not share with every Apostle (Apostles = the earliest church). If you don't agree still, what is your interpretation of why the Bible brings up the "weaker vessel" command to husbands?
Ephesians says for both to be subservient to Christ, then submitted to one another. Submission is important.
I do not agree! You’re just dating/ married to the wrong type of woman. You should be able to open up to your partner and anything you might not be able to talk to them about you need to pray to God about it. The only exception to that is perhaps the man who is discipling you. He should be able to give you some guidance on how to handle the situation.
Just my opinion. I’m a married woman so I guess I don’t know what it feels like to be a man.
Yesss God's way is of love so you don't want to hurt each other ❤❤
🗣️Yeeessss James I 100% agree!
Great show fellas!
I hope this brother is in therapy. Divorce stinks 😢
Prayers up for the man sitting in the back/beside of Plain James. It's clear he is still hurting and healing from his past relationship😢. Not all women are like that and there are men that will weaponize either verbally or by action as well. You have to go to Jesus first because we tend to forget God allows free will and with that imperfection and flaws Do exist. There is to much emphasis on the man and woman character traits, when it is shown many times over people are people and the gender does not matter. Women are Designed to handle and resolve any situation whether she worry or not..But I agree "girls" lacking wisdom and maturity in God may not be Designed to handle certain topics brought to the table..Be careful because the enemy loves capitalizing off Broad statements to keep us bond n limited in belief.
#SheneaLongley W.O.G you just preached a whole sermon! ALL FACTS‼️‼️ I love it here‼️🔥🔥
Yes, you show love, and if it lines up with God's love it is right. He said he made us in the image of him and everything that comes from God is good 🌟
I have never had submission explained to me. The way this conversation broke it down. When I was married, I looked at submission. In a different way. So I didn't love her properly.
I really enjoyed this conversation. I just wish that you had a couple of more female voices. Enjoyed the one female that represented us😊
My husband came to me over everything. We talked about everything. When we married it was to each other we did not need anyone on the outside in our relationship. #27 years strong. Hes been gone for 6 years. Why would u talk to men that has nothing to do with your spouses decisions and yours together.
Hurt people hurt but it is not right
I remember when I was dating and a guy asked me have I ever cheated. I said once because I wanted my child to still see a two-parent household. He called 😂😂😂 you must be cheating as you did in your past 😂😂😂 bye boy
My husband worries more than I do.
Seek the Lord first. Then your spouse. He'll let you know what you can and can't share with your spouse.
Also, some women can get vert jealous and suspicious when you're sharing with your brothers and not with them.
Relationship with God and spiritual maturity are crucial.
Men and women have this problem however as we grow in relationships we stop weaponizing and focus on love and building each other up!
Yall gotta give the bald dude a time limit 💀
The Bible says don't tell your left hand what your right hand is doing. Also....we can't be offended by hearing the truth if its true.
Ephesians 5:25
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. I think what's being discussed is part of the last 5 words of this verse. Good discussion ; the vid could have been twice as long, easily.
9:50 Newsflash bro there's many God fearing men that are with women that have no care how submitted to God.
a) I don't know what kind of women you know - pray and we both go to sleep and work on it in a few days after we sit it before God.
b) You can't make a closeness and support when you come against something - you have to develop and create a good foundation beforehand.
c) All females just like all males don't respond he same. Yall and just physical just immature, when you grow up what you did as a child you put those things away when you mature. Who cares what the world statics say - what does God's word say - whose report shall you believe.
d) I love that sir - your explanation was biblically sound.
When we stop using excuses that the word ordains and submit to the Holy Spirit and fight the good fight of faith. No not submitted to that fool but submit to God. Deny You - Pick up your cross and Follow Him.
Shaq is a free mason.
16:26 🎯🎯🎯
I pray my husband can talk to me about anything. That is my friend, my guy. If he can't come to me I pray he goes to God and he also has a positive male that he can talk to that will tell him what God wants him to know
Problem one is starting off with a gendered perspective that excludes person's nurturing from child to adulthood...
Why so much emphasis on the wife using those things against you? That’s an issue of self protection. To be ultimately ‘safe’ you would need to literally keep everything to yourself. Yes, you can be hurt in your life, yes a woman could cut you deep in an argument, but why let destroy the relationship. Women tend to be more emotional, and lash out. They’re not ultimately wanting you to be hurt or fail. Through sickness and health, happiness and sadness.
What can also help is sharing processes you’ve already worked through, then she can know and trust that if you have an issue, you work it out with God and grow/mature. Then sharing other vulnerabilities, she’s able to see you process in real time and get to the other side. In the end the two become one. You hurt is hers and vice versa.
I do not listen to the ignorant opinions of unmarried fornicating non Christian baby parents. The end. Glory be to GOD❤
We need to make a conscious effort to seek understanding, live according to the word, and stop letting the enemy keep us divided. It’s ridiculous atp.
We act a fool Behind hurt feelings/bruised egos when Jesus got beat to a pulp, nailed to a whole cross & was completely without sin! We have got to grown up!
Exactly, trust the God in you, because the bible tells us not to lean to our own understanding and not be wise in your own eyes, so it doesn't mesh with the bible to tell your wife to trust you when it is clear that are hearts are deceitful and wicked...listen to what you are saying and then mesh it with the bible.
Help-mate is not a helpful translation for what Eve was to Adam. That word is only translated as help-mate in that garden everywhere else it is help or Savior and associated with God. It is like a saving Helper. You should be able to tell her you are struggling and she should be able to help you. It's not perfect because she might do the things these people fear but you as a leader should be helping her transform to be a better follower as well as her helping you.
13:33 bro you are bugging....you're taking about the best of the best women. The average woman with traumas and complexity don't care how good you are.
1st dude on point but danced around women being the WEAKER VESSEL, that's why you don't share everything or much of anything!
Yesss God's way is of love so you don't want to hurt each other ❤❤
Why so much emphasis on the wife using those things against you? That’s an issue of self protection. To be ultimately ‘safe’ you would need to literally keep everything to yourself. Yes, you can be hurt in your life, yes a woman could cut you deep in an argument, but why let destroy the relationship. Women tend to be more emotional, and lash out. They’re not ultimately wanting you to be hurt or fail. Through sickness and health, happiness and sadness.
What can also help is sharing processes you’ve already worked through, then she can know and trust that if you have an issue, you work it out with God and grow/mature. Then sharing other vulnerabilities, she’s able to see you process in real time and get to the other side. In the end the two become one. You hurt is hers and vice versa.