1:20 Some people are addicted to being misunderstood because it means they never have to be accountable for their actions if no one truly understands their words or actions. Makes me sick!
we dont know the backstory, it's not that nice to another human to be so decisive about someone's entire existence based on a three minute snippet. With your permission, I would suggest to reframe it: this man comes across quite negative and difficult to me, or seems to protest to everything. I am curious as to why. In the meantime, in my perception, if this is indeed how he is in the majority of the relationship, i can imagine it must be difficult for their partner to communicate with them.
@@inMuro He was on the first season. You should watch that entire season, and then come back and apologize to the commenters here. That guy was next level - so fascinating/scary to watch him.
the patience she shows w this narcissist ! listening to him gives me anxiety as he is exactly like a coworker that harassed me..and gaslit me when i complained to HR. luckily he was fired in the end!
i can imagine it must be hard for you to see this, i am sorry that happened to you, it sounds awful. At the same time, I would be mindful not to make too big of a conclusion out of someone's entire personality just on this little conversation. There might be a million things going on. It's hard to embrace complexity when we look at things on the internet, and to put them in a green or a red check box. Yet, I feel it's important to try, especially when the fragment is so short. With your background, I can imagine it's even harder for you.
This video is so relatable, I’ve been trying to distract myself after my breakup. We were together for almost three years, and it’s only been a month since he left. I can’t stop thinking about him and wondering if he’ll ever come back.
I felt the same way when my partner left. We had been together for six years, and I thought I’d never recover. But someone helped me, and it honestly turned my life around.
This was literally one of my most favourite programmes of all time... still is. Thank you to everyone involved in creating it. Particularly the couples and therapist as they were the most vulnerable and brave in being their most authentic selves.
The first guy is beyond ridiculous, can’t even listen to him, don’t know how his wife does it. The woman in the clip around 5th minute had contempt for her partner but this clip shows her softer side. Glad they split up.
This Therapist is beyond patient with this guy. She shows true care and empathy. She wants him to be accountable......he is incapable of this. He is stuck and She truly wants to find a solution. What a pro she is ......she is exceptionally good at her job.
So true. She has hit rock bottom in that relationship. She needs to realize she can’t ask him to do something she won’t do for herself, love her. Whatever you are asking him to do get x/drugs out your life, you get it out your life by leaving him. If you won’t get it out your life how can you ask him to get it out your life. Love yourself let go of the guilt for surviving your childhood and leaving unhealthy people behind. You can’t save them and stop being afraid to go be with healthy people. We can do it even though it’s not our comfort zone, YET! Don’t feel any guilt, he absolutely doesn’t care, if anything he only think he does. Beautiful boy tho 100% child
Hey do you know which episode that clip is from? I wanted to hear more of her story because I felt like I was listening to myself talk hearing her. Please let me know if you know
Here is what I told my partner: As long as you hold MY emotional and physical well-being at the same Level of importance as your own, I promise to share my life with you for as long as I live. To accomplish that I promise to change when our relationship needs me to change and to grow when our relationship needs me to grow. I promise to be more than the partner you need me to be today. I promise to be the partner you need me to be today, tomorrow and in the future. Life is about change and I promise to change. What about you? What can you promise me?
I remember watching this series and the first guy from this clip just annoyed me SO MUCH. Girl, I get that he's a silver fox and that you have history but please for the love of god, try finding someone who is less abrasive. This dudes whole purpose of existence is to argue.
That second couple, is that the woman who calls him at work 20 times? He's a saint. I could never. This woman is genuinely insane. I don't know why people don't understand personal boundaries.
7:17 but you decided to mother him and then expected him to be your man. Nah sis, he is not your child, he is a grown man. I think sometimes it's easy to trick ourselves into thinking that that care we give is the care the receiver needs. I wonder of this man has ever felt smothered by her.
Sadly I know that kind of man (first one), it's completely useless, you'll never, ever, ever win with that kind of man. Give up. Don't hope, don't try to make it work, it's NEVER going to work. Man like that leave a trail of suffering behind him.
I must say, I am thoroughly captivated by this show. As a child, I was often asked what I aspired to become when I grew up. I considered pursuing a career as either a psychiatrist or an architect. In hindsight, I may have chosen the wrong path. Although I practiced elements of psychiatry in my work as a designer, I find the complexities of the human mind and personality to be far more intriguing. This looks very interesting.
The Asian lady and the blonde guy, UGH, he is sitting there, listening to her pour her heart out, he is not offended, he is not giving her comfort, he is not making facial expressions, you just HAVE NO IDEA what the guy is thinking, he is just staring at her like a wall, it's no wonder she feels this way!
I mean, I guess thats why they are in therapy. Cant blame them for trying, but some people are just so extremely detached/unemotional/unempathic, that no amount of therapy can fix
How eye opening. Goodness the lady who saw her little self who she wanted to save in her partner. Then when her partner turns into an ideal of a child years down the line she wonders why and doesn’t correlate her reasoning for choosing him. That’s something. Humans we are something.
It's so irritating when the men laugh when there's something intense & difficult coming out - I understand a bit why they do it, but I'm not sure I understand why they're not often challenged on the incongruity of that response in a situation where the other person is trying to be honest and vulnerable
When you say incongruity, are you assuming that there is a correct way for emotions to manifest in our bodies involuntarily or do you just not like how it feels to not have us respond in a way you desire and it feels like a punch in the face like from the clip?
I've watched the first 3 seasons in a few days. It's so brill. The insights are so amazing and it's really helped me. The way she teases apart motivations and sees what's going on is like magic.
We are in our mid-forty and i get all what those couples are complaining about… my partner a s me are actually consulting also. After few session, all I can say it’s we are have more compassion for the other one, and it has to be BOTH side… a lot of couple will be happier! But in most case, just like the asian lady said, we were very patient in the beginning but after 15, 20 years together… please get your crap together and be a real life partner. No i am the same person, but i have no more patience. Hmmm … i know what to say to my next session.
The Asian woman is fake. She did everything pretending to be Poly, submissive and into sexual things to get that white guy. She started that relationship on a false premise and now she’s whining.
5:40 Can someone PLEASE tell me which episode/season covers this particular couple's story? That woman is ME. It felt like I was listening to myself and wanted to watch that episode. Please someone comment it down below
They’re in season 3! Each season follows a handful of couples though so if you’re only interested in them you’ll have to skip around to their sessions hope this helps :)
1:04 with all to due respect devastating is perhaps not quite the right word or at least she could course correct and adjust. From the remainder that was shown, I wonder if we missed whether the conversation was brought to greater fruition or Revelation or understanding. I wonder if she could benefit from further training on dealing with narcissists & narcissist behaviors in psychotherapy. Hwr, there could have been more (in terms of progress in this conversation or in following conversations) but it wasn't shown
Yeah totally. A lot of them. It really opens their eyes to their partners perspectives instead of running with their determined narrative. I love it for that reason.
The first couple separated he got with someone new and said really awful stuff about his ex. His history explains a lot about his behaviour…not excusing him but when you hear his story his attitude is not surprising…he has a lot of defences from an emotionally neglected upbringing
7:15 That is pure abuse from her. He gets to get out of that relationship FAST. When you're at the stage where one person is hurling abuse and insults at the other, calling them names etc that relationship is already FINISHED. Bro needs to get some balls and walk away.
That man who gets up for other people and yet makes wife a third option instead of a priority is probably cheating or interested in other women… He is emotionally unavailable to his wife and she is reactive when it happens
If you watch the season with them, you’ll see that she is extremely triggered by the abandonment and abuse she suffered at the hands of her family and previous partners. He also comes from a generation and family system that never actually held space and actually allowed a masculinity that freely expressed and processed their emotional state. I think in many of these clips, the participants are projecting their own internalized trauma fears and narratives onto others.
One of the rare cases that Dr Orla was in the wrong and inadvertently enabling the problematic partner while harping on the partner who is having a proportionate response that they are struggling to communicate. He may not be literally cheating, but the conspicuous prioritization of a random woman from work while simultaneously cumulatively neglecting his wife needs to be investigated. Dr Orla made the wife feel like she was being melodramatic and hyperbolic when she was actually just trying to process the very confusing message from her husband that he's fully capable of doing things for others than will not do for her. He's devaluing and neglecting her, and she wants to know why.
Watching these couples reminds me why my non negotiable core value is a couple that prays and read scriptures together. When we can’t see past ourselves God can help us through his infinite wisdom shared to us through his Holy Spirit that’s inside me and my man.
3) The Asian Lady probably pays the bills 💸 & gives him money. She’s an atm and he thinks she’s wrapped around his finger. Until she’s tapped out, he will stay with her. 4) The blond lesbian is reaching out to other women to eventually cheat on her partner. Simple as that!!!
This show is great. I’ve seen all seasons and it gives me hope for reality tv. Trashy tv is fun and all but this show gives us a dose of realism. This sounds like a corny ad but damn
The actress portraying Dr. Guralnik represents an insightful and informed therapist, but her character does enter the fray with certain biases, as we all do. In real life, I can say with near certainty that coupling will not improve any faster than it is now until there are far more real-life interviews with male couples-therapists, even for the lesbian couple.
![Lp. Сердце Вселенной #60 РОЖДЕНИЕ ЛОЛОЛОШКИ [Финал] • Майнкрафт](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/YoR0pAV9FVQ/mqdefault.jpg)
Thank you to the participants willing to share their lives with us.
Thank you for such a productive comment. More of this, people!
1:20 Some people are addicted to being misunderstood because it means they never have to be accountable for their actions if no one truly understands their words or actions. Makes me sick!
Yes! You better preach!
I’m a happily married marriage counselor and this therapist ROCKS! No BS. Love it.
The first man needs to be single and leave women alone. Forever.
I know. He’s so awful
He needs to be single and leave Men alone too. All narcissists should be regulated to blow up dolls.
we dont know the backstory, it's not that nice to another human to be so decisive about someone's entire existence based on a three minute snippet. With your permission, I would suggest to reframe it: this man comes across quite negative and difficult to me, or seems to protest to everything. I am curious as to why. In the meantime, in my perception, if this is indeed how he is in the majority of the relationship, i can imagine it must be difficult for their partner to communicate with them.
@@inMuro He was on the first season. You should watch that entire season, and then come back and apologize to the commenters here. That guy was next level - so fascinating/scary to watch him.
@@oliviae369 They do not need to apologize to anyone. Their comment was balanced, respectful and valid... smh
the patience she shows w this narcissist ! listening to him gives me anxiety as he is exactly like a coworker that harassed me..and gaslit me when i complained to HR. luckily he was fired in the end!
Honestly he reminds me of my dad. Arrogant, angry, nothing is good enough.
i can imagine it must be hard for you to see this, i am sorry that happened to you, it sounds awful. At the same time, I would be mindful not to make too big of a conclusion out of someone's entire personality just on this little conversation. There might be a million things going on. It's hard to embrace complexity when we look at things on the internet, and to put them in a green or a red check box. Yet, I feel it's important to try, especially when the fragment is so short. With your background, I can imagine it's even harder for you.
This makes me appreciate being single lol
Same 😂
Same
Same. That was exhausting
I truly love this for you
Yes, stay single. But make sure you don’t have children.
This video is so relatable, I’ve been trying to distract myself after my breakup. We were together for almost three years, and it’s only been a month since he left. I can’t stop thinking about him and wondering if he’ll ever come back.
I felt the same way when my partner left. We had been together for six years, and I thought I’d never recover. But someone helped me, and it honestly turned my life around.
That’s amazing. I’ve been looking for something.. anything.. that could help. Who helped you?
It was a spiritual counselor , his name is Father Akabu. He focuses on restoring relationships. He helped me restore my relationship
Thank you for sharing. It means a lot to hear someone else’s story. It gives me some hope that maybe things can work out for me too.
The emotional labor in relationships can be exhausting. People are exhausting that is why i need my solitude whether im in or out the relationship
💯 It terrifies me that I’ll be deprived of solitude with someone whom I grow resentful.
Yes!
I can’t be a therapist.. I’ll be making faces 😂😂😂
😂😂😂😂
I agree. I'd be like ok bye smh after 5 minutes
Give it a try lol
Same id be laughing and shit 😂
😂😂😂😂
Bless her patience. Ready for a new season. She’s so amazing
First man is obnoxious. If I met him at a party I would spend as much time with him as it takes to say “hello” and “goodbye.”
This was literally one of my most favourite programmes of all time... still is. Thank you to everyone involved in creating it. Particularly the couples and therapist as they were the most vulnerable and brave in being their most authentic selves.
The first guy is beyond ridiculous, can’t even listen to him, don’t know how his wife does it. The woman in the clip around 5th minute had contempt for her partner but this clip shows her softer side. Glad they split up.
Oh thank god I was looking to see if they did he's totally exhausting
This couple? 5:00?
@@jaieatsplants no the first man in the white shirt who talks about "devastating" not being the right word at 1:00
This makes me so grateful to be married to my husband. We've done a lot of work to get to a healthy place. Im just so glad we've both grown.
This Therapist is beyond patient with this guy. She shows true care and empathy. She wants him to be accountable......he is incapable of this. He is stuck and She truly wants to find a solution. What a pro she is ......she is exceptionally good at her job.
I am completely obsessed with this show! Orna is amazing!
@6:42. Nobody has to LET YOU GO. Just get your things and walk. It’s that simple.
So true. She has hit rock bottom in that relationship. She needs to realize she can’t ask him to do something she won’t do for herself, love her. Whatever you are asking him to do get x/drugs out your life, you get it out your life by leaving him. If you won’t get it out your life how can you ask him to get it out your life. Love yourself let go of the guilt for surviving your childhood and leaving unhealthy people behind. You can’t save them and stop being afraid to go be with healthy people. We can do it even though it’s not our comfort zone, YET! Don’t feel any guilt, he absolutely doesn’t care, if anything he only think he does. Beautiful boy tho 100% child
Hey do you know which episode that clip is from? I wanted to hear more of her story because I felt like I was listening to myself talk hearing her. Please let me know if you know
@@whiskeralla3084it's from season 3
Here is what I told my partner:
As long as you hold MY emotional and physical well-being at the same
Level of importance as your own, I promise to share my life with you for as long as I live.
To accomplish that I promise to change when our relationship needs me to change and to grow when our relationship
needs me to grow.
I promise to be more than the partner you need me to be today. I promise to be the partner you
need me to be today, tomorrow and in the future.
Life is about change and I promise to change. What about you? What can you promise me?
I remember watching this series and the first guy from this clip just annoyed me SO MUCH. Girl, I get that he's a silver fox and that you have history but please for the love of god, try finding someone who is less abrasive. This dudes whole purpose of existence is to argue.
That second couple, is that the woman who calls him at work 20 times? He's a saint. I could never. This woman is genuinely insane. I don't know why people don't understand personal boundaries.
Yes... she irked my spirit so much.
I love this and I’m single 😂😂. The therapist is amazing…
This show allows me to appreciate a relationship with peace and helps see red flags sooner
I’ve seen the first guy before. He makes me extremely grateful for my husband. 25 years of that woman’s life… she should get out now!!
She should run for the hills......he is toxic. He is basically saying why are you still here? I have no respect for you
He probably has BPD and unless you know how yo deal with that it can be difficult
7:17 but you decided to mother him and then expected him to be your man. Nah sis, he is not your child, he is a grown man. I think sometimes it's easy to trick ourselves into thinking that that care we give is the care the receiver needs. I wonder of this man has ever felt smothered by her.
Sadly I know that kind of man (first one), it's completely useless, you'll never, ever, ever win with that kind of man. Give up. Don't hope, don't try to make it work, it's NEVER going to work. Man like that leave a trail of suffering behind him.
When people ask for change rebuttal with this: “change for or with you?” Usually if pop a bubble of self interest before he or she make a decision.
Relationships..such a beautiful way to understand where your work lies ❤
ready for a new season
I must say, I am thoroughly captivated by this show. As a child, I was often asked what I aspired to become when I grew up. I considered pursuing a career as either a psychiatrist or an architect. In hindsight, I may have chosen the wrong path. Although I practiced elements of psychiatry in my work as a designer, I find the complexities of the human mind and personality to be far more intriguing. This looks very interesting.
This series was AMAZING!!!
This show is AMAZING! Love this therapist. Some of these are so hard to watch.
Huge respect to the participant‘s. Such universal experiences
I really enjoyed seeing people work through difficult relationships situations
This show is so good
The Asian lady and the blonde guy, UGH, he is sitting there, listening to her pour her heart out, he is not offended, he is not giving her comfort, he is not making facial expressions, you just HAVE NO IDEA what the guy is thinking, he is just staring at her like a wall, it's no wonder she feels this way!
The amount of straight men I know that are EXACTLY like that. Gurl.
@@segamai It goes from unpleasant to infuriating real fast
I mean, I guess thats why they are in therapy. Cant blame them for trying, but some people are just so extremely detached/unemotional/unempathic, that no amount of therapy can fix
I feel like he was just listening intently to what she was saying
@@seanlenihan1788 it does, but no way to know without any verbal or nom verbal reaction.
One thing that I have learned when I was a teenager is that you can never ever fix someone!
How eye opening. Goodness the lady who saw her little self who she wanted to save in her partner. Then when her partner turns into an ideal of a child years down the line she wonders why and doesn’t correlate her reasoning for choosing him. That’s something. Humans we are something.
It's so irritating when the men laugh when there's something intense & difficult coming out - I understand a bit why they do it, but I'm not sure I understand why they're not often challenged on the incongruity of that response in a situation where the other person is trying to be honest and vulnerable
The laughter is definitely something to explore as it can denote nerves/discomfort/contempt...
When you say incongruity, are you assuming that there is a correct way for emotions to manifest in our bodies involuntarily or do you just not like how it feels to not have us respond in a way you desire and it feels like a punch in the face like from the clip?
It's almost like men have been conditioned to not be expressive with their emotions and development coping mechanisms like laughter to survive....
@@RShaun It's neither
Maybe don't be so defensive yourself
Love this show……so eye opening in many ways
That 1 lady loved that little boy in him and now she hates it BUT she created the dynamic .
This lady is so DOPE. Shout outs to Orna🤎 & Showtime✌🏼
The need to have and control things is the source of all suffering. Let go.
I watched the 4th season in one sitting 👀
I've watched the first 3 seasons in a few days. It's so brill. The insights are so amazing and it's really helped me. The way she teases apart motivations and sees what's going on is like magic.
Waiting for a new season!
I love this show!
that is one hard job
Love Dr Orna
I love this show so much
This is my FAVORITE show!!
I love this reality show so much also Orna is a great therapist
I love this show
Wow, talk about super deep.
We are in our mid-forty and i get all what those couples are complaining about… my partner a s me are actually consulting also. After few session, all I can say it’s we are have more compassion for the other one, and it has to be BOTH side… a lot of couple will be happier! But in most case, just like the asian lady said, we were very patient in the beginning but after 15, 20 years together… please get your crap together and be a real life partner. No i am the same person, but i have no more patience. Hmmm … i know what to say to my next session.
The Asian woman is fake. She did everything pretending to be Poly, submissive and into sexual things to get that white guy.
She started that relationship on a false premise and now she’s whining.
This guy is so egocentric it was hard to watch
I loved this series!
5:40 Can someone PLEASE tell me which episode/season covers this particular couple's story? That woman is ME. It felt like I was listening to myself and wanted to watch that episode. Please someone comment it down below
They’re in season 3! Each season follows a handful of couples though so if you’re only interested in them you’ll have to skip around to their sessions hope this helps :)
@@moony-_-. Thank you!! :)
1:04 with all to due respect devastating is perhaps not quite the right word or at least she could course correct and adjust. From the remainder that was shown, I wonder if we missed whether the conversation was brought to greater fruition or Revelation or understanding. I wonder if she could benefit from further training on dealing with narcissists & narcissist behaviors in psychotherapy. Hwr, there could have been more (in terms of progress in this conversation or in following conversations) but it wasn't shown
Eventually we do get to him admitting it’s devastating ~ something about his parents missing his birthday
This is interesting .I don't watch the show, but for anyone who does-- have any of these couples turned it around?
Yes.
Some yes
In later seasons
Yeah totally. A lot of them. It really opens their eyes to their partners perspectives instead of running with their determined narrative. I love it for that reason.
The first couple separated he got with someone new and said really awful stuff about his ex. His history explains a lot about his behaviour…not excusing him but when you hear his story his attitude is not surprising…he has a lot of defences from an emotionally neglected upbringing
Love this show
I'm tired
Me too - some people are literally exhausting
This guy.
I should have been a divorce lawyer.
Always time
why do you say that
5:05 the therapist finally the the second wife in the clip accountable!
5:34 that lady is extreme bruh wtf
Seriously!!
Various examples of people getting in their own way.
Love this show. It used to be free to watch. I watched the first season and maybe the second one.
Are these real sessions? Or reenactments?
They are all too real.
They’re real 😭
7:15 That is pure abuse from her. He gets to get out of that relationship FAST. When you're at the stage where one person is hurling abuse and insults at the other, calling them names etc that relationship is already FINISHED. Bro needs to get some balls and walk away.
This guy exchasting
Couple #1 need to end it. This guy has superiority issues, trying to utilize his intelligence but really it's arrogance.
I read somewhere online that they did end up divorcing.
He is a true narcissist.
Wow...this guy would have me pulling my hair out.
Where are the cameras?!!
Omg. This dude
Id break up 😊 no way i could do this 🙂↔️🙂↔️🙂↔️
Me too I aint got time😂
What a creeeeeeep.
I need to reawtch this show
That man who gets up for other people and yet makes wife a third option instead of a priority is probably cheating or interested in other women… He is emotionally unavailable to his wife and she is reactive when it happens
If you watch the season with them, you’ll see that she is extremely triggered by the abandonment and abuse she suffered at the hands of her family and previous partners. He also comes from a generation and family system that never actually held space and actually allowed a masculinity that freely expressed and processed their emotional state.
I think in many of these clips, the participants are projecting their own internalized trauma fears and narratives onto others.
One of the rare cases that Dr Orla was in the wrong and inadvertently enabling the problematic partner while harping on the partner who is having a proportionate response that they are struggling to communicate. He may not be literally cheating, but the conspicuous prioritization of a random woman from work while simultaneously cumulatively neglecting his wife needs to be investigated. Dr Orla made the wife feel like she was being melodramatic and hyperbolic when she was actually just trying to process the very confusing message from her husband that he's fully capable of doing things for others than will not do for her. He's devaluing and neglecting her, and she wants to know why.
Watching these couples reminds me why my non negotiable core value is a couple that prays and read scriptures together. When we can’t see past ourselves God can help us through his infinite wisdom shared to us through his Holy Spirit that’s inside me and my man.
3) The Asian Lady probably pays the bills 💸 & gives him money. She’s an atm and he thinks she’s wrapped around his finger. Until she’s tapped out, he will stay with her.
4) The blond lesbian is reaching out to other women to eventually cheat on her partner. Simple as that!!!
This show is great. I’ve seen all seasons and it gives me hope for reality tv. Trashy tv is fun and all but this show gives us a dose of realism. This sounds like a corny ad but damn
That was my show! Will there be another season?
run Desean!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That last couple: poly doesn't with unless both are committed to the boundaries set and agreed on. It clearly not working.
The older woman looks like his mother 😅😅
In my opinion, he looks older than his partner.
I binged ask 3 seasons!
Blonde dude has just numbed out. He’s probably tired of getting yelled at for breathing in the wrong direction.
The 3rd couple, hes not listening NOW
The 2nd wife is needy, jealous, and codependent if you watch the whole season
Look at showtime cashing in on the relationship youtube drama
It's so sad (and funny) that usually trauma bonds people together not love
“I need to safe myself.”True dat. Painful. Immature men.😢 Time to move on…
The first guy is so right. It's frustrating to be misunderstood. To have words put in your mouth that you didn't say.
Elaine (the second lady) was EXACTLY like my ex. Everything was about her and her alone.
Just gross
Don't talk crazy about the 1st guy he knows he has problems, that's why he's there. Give him. Credit for that
Exactly. Annoying or not, he's there. We all have problems.
No. He’s there because he’s about to get left.
We don't have to know if this is accurate or not... but it has to be useful
The actress portraying Dr. Guralnik represents an insightful and informed therapist, but her character does enter the fray with certain biases, as we all do. In real life, I can say with near certainty that coupling will not improve any faster than it is now until there are far more real-life interviews with male couples-therapists, even for the lesbian couple.
She’s a real therapist. And a professor and she’s written books on the topic
Jesus why did she stay with that first guy
If you repeat back to someone and it’s never right, that’s a tell for NPD.
Nope can't live with somebody like him (first guy). He always has to be right.
I really hope the first dude watches his behaviour back and is extremely embarrassed