Is it writer's block or is it addiction? Where'd all the JOY go?
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- Опубліковано 13 лип 2022
- Yo! This video has been a long time coming. Hope it speaks to someone! If you need help I've left some links below. Shout out to @VenusTheory for inspiring this one. Go check out his video if you haven't seen it:
• Why You Can't Finish M...
www.aa.org/
virtual-na.org/
988lifeline.org/
Be more graceful and patient with yourselves. Love you, mean it.
"Don't let the bastards get you down" well said bro. It's awesome to see you back at it, I've really enjoyed your content, especially the 365. Can't wait to see what's coming next from you.
This video hits home.. Minus the college, your timeline of events are very close to what also happened to me. A lot of respect for you to be able to make this video and keep pushing yourself.
Made it just for you, my friend. Thanks for watching!
Middle school is where I picked up the (electric) bass too. Grew out my hair, got in with an alt crowd, and started the substance train. Creativity and sobriety tend to have a mutually exclusive relationship, right?
Years later it took five months of a residential program just to get the tools to stay clean for short periods. Relapse is part of healing (which is crazy), and healing never really stops.
I feel you man. I respect what your saying and how you get here. Thanks for sharing, it’s not usually easy, but it’s very valuable.
EDIT: I remember that marshmallow video. Regardless how you feel about your presentation of that video, marshmallow is still a jackass who doesn’t try hard (at all).
lol on the marshmallow train!
Thanks for watching, here's to our mutual recoveries.
Your vulnerability is admired. I wish you the best with your continued journey. Godspeed and Quick Healing Gardner. Godspeed.
Damn bro! That was powerful. Thank you for sharing your story. I graduated highschool during the financial crisis and basically had my professional career chosen for me without my willingness. Been stuck in that career for 10yrs now and all it gave me was clinical anxiety and depression. I'm blessed in that I never became addicted to substances, but boy did I have my brush with self-deletion. That was a huge wake-up moment for me. Now, I'm full-bore into pursuing TV/Film Sync Licensing Music, which is a good fit for me because it bypasses the Social Media rat race. I'm glad you're doing better and wish you much success. I miss your videos and can't wait for the next one. Stay well, stay blessed.
“The opposite of connection is addiction.” I’ve been thinking about connection in general recently and how it may very well be the cure for everything. Being honest when you have a problem and telling people you need help. I’ve found that every time I open up about a struggle, even tho I’m scared of appearing weak or crazy, I always find ppl saying they’ve gone through or are going through the same thing. That I’m not alone. This is the first video I’ve seen of yours but I’m subscribed and I am excited to see future videos. Thank you for opening up, you have no idea who you inspire 💜
Thanks for watching! Yes, I find that when I'm honest with myself and others - I find more connection and joy than if I had tried to deal with a problem on my own. Your comment, for instance - brings me a ton of joy. Have a nice weekend, and don't let the bastards get you down.
Bro I remember sitting in that music school break room hanging out and you showing me what you’d been working on and dub step and understanding that. Praying for you, praying the Lord gives you the strength to not only kick alcohol but also make music you’re are proud of and enjoy making. Praying you are able to focus on the gift and passion He’s given you and the rest comes as a result.
James! Hope you're well. Thank you for the kind words. I'm feeling good, today :)
Thank you for this! I am having a major battle with addiction right now. I had a feeling to pick up my phone and this video popped up. I can't say if it was God or whatever guiding me, but I do have more hope now....So maybe it was.
Hey, nice last name! (That's my first name)
Glad this reached you. If you need some help, talk to someone - don't suffer in silence. There are people who want you to be your best self - and if that means helping you rid yourself of some toxic addiction, you WILL find some help.
I respect you so much! Thank you for sharing your thoughts! The 12 step groups provide such a support for positive change in our lives.
Man I feel this. I made a year and a half off booze. Couldn't handle performing sober so started drinking again. Goodluck on your journey
I don't know how to word what I want to say but I am thankful you made this. It is nice to hear real things from people's lives. I am still figuring things out in life but this video will be one of the things helping me forward. Thank you!
i've lost it at "But she leves me" totally related to your story bro. I'm on the other end of the world but i couldn't feel more realted.
I'm glad you had the courage to get married, have kids. The family that you work for them. I used to take Methadone. It is not easy to quit. Stay safe bro!
Thanks for sharing! Yea addiction was* an absolute nightmare when I was in the throws of it. I'm glad to hear that you're sober, too.
Glad to see that you're doing better and getting through it.
Thank you for all the knowledge you've shared so far.
I just found you after looking for a strobe remake and found you. Loved the video, and just stumbled on this. Power to you, brother! Love from Sri Lanka
Glad you opened up about this, Gard. I've had my own struggles with the mmm thoughts as well at a few points in my life. But as I've told other people with similar struggles, you just gotta try to that little bit of hope alive. Glad you're doing better. Hope we can have a round of STAMOOOO soon
Thanks for sharing your story, Garden! It’s very inspiring. I have alcoholics and musicians in my life and struggle some with alcohol myself. ❤️ and thanks to the great algorithm overlords for bringing it to my feed
Anytime. Glad to hear from you.
Absolute fire. Thank you.
1. Great to see you again man. Always wondered where you ended up since you stopped making videos. Glad to see youre alive, well, and fighting to get better and feel better. 2. This is such an important video. Thanks for doing this and sharing such vulnerable stories from your life. This will help a lot of people (including me). Glad to have you back man! Let’s get back to doing what we love!
Amen. Thank you for watching.
Long time no see my dude, glad to see you again!!!
Edit: It was really cool to hear about your relationship with music and how it was linked with alcoholism, and your mental health. I kind of have a similar experience with being a visual artist, and also being in a band for fun at the time. People having varying opinions over my future, and being in an AP art class for most of my school life, and then going to college for art to just drop out. Art was really all I had besides my band, and when the pandemic happened we broke up.
Being a freelance artist is all I had left at the time, and I didn't notice it was doing a number on my mental health. Drawing for several hours a day. Sometimes the entire day not only to do commissions, but to also further my own experience through textbooks and daily drawing to not be rusty.
The drinking, drawing, and self isolation made me reach a breaking point that made me decide enough was enough. I really relate to the phrase "I didn't choose to be creative". As it's true, many of us don't. Even if we love doing said thing. Especially in this climate where many can't afford to really start over, and find something they love just as much over a long period of time.
I'm really glad you're doing better GARDNSOUND.
Insane how poorly creative people are treated in this country. I feel that pain, for sure. But, I try to look at it as "I'm swinging hammers now, and I'll be redeemed with time for music in between the swings".
@@GARDNSOUND It's the same for me. I keep going not only because I genuinely adore it, but because I'm stubborn and don't want to feel like I didn't give it my all. I want to go out on my own terms.
This video was incredibly healing. Thank u gardn ❤️❤️❤️
Bro honestly thank you
This is powerful
Blessings stay positive
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This man is back!!! We love you bro
Nice to see you back mate
Sending my love to you buddy, wishing you all the best for the future! Not only does this video resonate with me but your music tutorials have also helped me in the past ❤
I appreciate that! More videos coming, for sure. Gotta get some "housecleaning" out of the way first. Can't really create when my brain's full of cobwebs and unfinished vids lmfao.
Dang man, so much love to you. I'm glad you are talking about it and getting that word out there and focused on living life and finding happiness again. The past few years I've been struggling with "finding the joy" because I have been focused way too much on making a living through my music rather than just having a good time. While I didn't fall into addictions like alcohol (though watching UA-cam endlessly is a serious problem for me still), I have weathered some pretty rough depression.
Again, much love and huge hugs to you. The brief chats we've had over the past few years have been really great and I still want to find a way to hook up with you again. If nothing else so I can see if that hair is as soft as it looks.
LOL you can play with my hair, anytime bro. I feel that for sure. Now that I'm doing UA-cam without having to worry about making an income from it, I feel a real fire under my ass to create and give waaaaay less of a fuck about what happens after I press upload.
Back again... With new haircut... Currently at work seen notif on video, will watch soon I get home.
Nice to see you again 😊😁
Welcome back to you! Hope you've been well. Yea for sure. I'm probably going to cut it again soon hahahaha!
@@GARDNSOUND Finally watched the video and its really good to know that u finally came to peace with yourself and that u r still alive and here with us.
What u probaby didn't know... I discovered u accidentally around 2018... And shortly after I had some issues with my life... I lost my job,I moved to another country and gf broke up with me.
I was suffering from severe anxiety of the new surrounding and not knowing any people and being totally out of my comfort zone,got my job at factory wich was soul crushing, feeling like human machine.
But what kept me thru was your "how to make videos" as soon as I would come home from work I'd check up on your channel,going thru your session and learning things along you and your parrot 😊😁
2021 when peak of corona hit i felt even more miserable, when you hit the rock bottom and u can't feel any worse... I felt like quicksand was dragging me even deeper. I managed to push thru and now I'm here good and made peace with myself.
To digress even though u went thru some really bad times in your life, with your content and actions u managed to help at least one person (and I bet there r more people like that in shadows) :)
YES KING
Glad to see a new video from you. I could definitely relate to some of the things you had to say here, thanks for such an honest dive into these subjects. Life is a wild ride. Best wishes man.
You are so welcome! Good to hear from you. How's CA?
Still living in the same spot. The garden is doing great, lotsa tomatoes. Just got a new roomie, a certain Mr. Fruitbat. So yeah CA is still workin out pretty well. Sacramento is hot AF though lol
Similar experience, without God, without alcohol, and with zero family support.
But, the expectation to go to college, the expectation to do better than my parents, the depression of not being able to get good jobs or get somewhere beyond a shitty catering job that I only was able to get (even tho I've worked full time since I was 15) because my sister was directing manager.
Ten years later, I still have debt, still fighting for my life and music.
White hot rage in my early twenties to get the fuck out of the life I had, didn't exactly get out, but I'm just not angry anymore and focus on my enjoyment of music, life, and push to do good work. Not just push myself to the coals and be depressed when it gets me no where.
I learned to allow myself more time mid way through my 20's and love myself more. It's benefited my own work greatly and I definitely enjoy myself a hell of a lot more than I did ten years ago.
Glad to hear it. I'm hoping to find that joy for myself.
Hope you're alright man.
I thought you had a bald spot. I will agree to write objectively good, graceful music.
I definitely thought he had like a reverse mowhark going on haha
Guar Den Snd is back from his straight job. I'm sick of being sober. WTF you don't eat fry food. Dude!
I eat it every once in a while LOL! I mean that I don't eat it every night after getting blackout drunk anymore ;)
Almost 4 years sober not a drop
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It's been a journey
Hell yes! God willing, I'll be there in 4 years too :)
@@GARDNSOUND yes you will
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You should come relax at SFGE this weekend.
HOLY COW this looks awesome! I'll definitely have to go next year.
@@GARDNSOUND oh yeah. The comedy show was great. The arcade collection is stellar. Havin a blast.