I experience co fronting more often than switching at all. Me, as I call myself the original main front, often feel like one of the alters is here like sitting on my shoulder, sometimes putting in their own feelings or emotion. And sometimes theyll even completly front without me relaxing, until later when im reminded of certain conversations or actions ive done. Ill be sitting there like "oh...yeah i did say that" but be detached knowing it wasnt the me I currently am but some other me I didn't notice doing it.
So, is it normal to just... not know who's fronting? Been spending a lot of time in dissociation land lately. There are clues but I get that blah, empty, tired feeling mostly. Btw I love how you described it!! Kind of helps me to laugh at it a little, thinking of it less like this big monster and more like "eww I think I just stepped in some dissociation" lol
Haha, yeah! That's totally normal, there's even words for when you don't know who's fronting! Blurry is the most commonly used one, but we also use "blobby' or "dissociated gunk'
Lol eeew yeah Best description ever! I guess soo cause same. -.- ;D thanks for asking the question!=D makes us feel so much more valid and "normal" ^^ I dont know what we would do without my DID/OSD Tribe =)) ♡♡♡ YOU all are not alone we Can totaly relate to everything you wrote. If you want to share: ? How long does it take for you to untangle Who is Front? Do you have found a way that helps? =) ~♡ and Hope from a fellow blurry bunch =))
Oooooh, you just turned our world on its ear! We've been associating "blah, empty, tired" with awful episodes of feeling alone in our head, only one sprinkle trying to do everything by herself, but maybe it's more like being so blendy we overlap like Bosons. If some trees fall into the same quantum state and there's no spread across phase space to differentiate them, do they make a plurality?
most of the time i dont even realize it happens until i am somewhere i never went to (ex. when i couldn’t find my stuffed animal then “woke up” in the bathroom washing my hands with the stuffed animal next to me)
Haha, we were surprised by a switch in the video being not mentioned in the title. (The other warnings seem plenty sufficient, it's just a novelty to find out in the description rather than the title.) It seems almost every time we listen to descriptions of life in other systems, they shed more light into our blind spots, so thanks! For us co-fronting is especially welcome and we're trying to get better at triggering it: most of us can tire easily from the cognitive loads of most motor stuff, especially mouth speech, so help is always welcome, and at any rate we also find nearly any sensations of closeness with other spiders very comforting. (We do accidentally elbow one another, sometimes rather sharply, but it's become infrequent since wising up to the whole plurality thing.) We guess most humans are more strong-willed and less clingy & codependent than ourself, 55. We would like to be less blendy at least a lot of the time, though. Less blendy co-consciousness seems to give everything more depth.
Oh interesting. Our switches (not that I've experienced any yet) have normally been 10 minutes minimum rarely an instant switch, and we've had many of those awful multi-hour switches, and you're right they are "bleh" as you put it! Maybe it's to do with the fact that we are a new system with limited/no communication so switches are very difficult?
@@TheRingsSystem we have a rather tricky environment right now, but our previous host was able to practice and improve on switches in the last, but we had some major setbacks a few months ago. Anything's possible - Jamie (host)
What I think my switches are is like out of nowhere ( or actually expecting it) im looking at something and I space out, I forget what I was saying or thinking then it gets a little blurry and I look around to understand whats happening and then there is I switched
Okay so this is what I want to know about whenever you fully switch what does it feel like? Do you still feel like your self? Is it just blurry and foggy?
We took that out relatively quickly, so if you watch any of our newer videos it shouldn’t be in there! There’s only about 5 early videos where that’s there. We’re also planning on remaking those where it is there! If you’d like I can tell you which to avoid ❤️
No pain at all! I totally understand triggers and that's why we stopped filming w the poster in the background. Here's which ones to avoid: -Silver's Introduction -DID/OSDD resources -Integration -Welcome to the channel -What does switching feel like -Faceclaims -Lorianne's introduction -Dissociation + College -Gender/Sexuality + Systems -A new therapist!! Everything else should be good! ❤️
Currently undiagnosed but working on figuring out what's going on when a stranger comes into my head and takes the reigns. Two days ago I met 2 different people in the span of one night, and I can't tell what that meant... Im currently trying to figure out what's going on. One told me his name was Duckie, he was a little boy, 6 years old or so, whereas The Wolf was. .. a wolf . Help?
Honestly, about a year ago when I wasn't aware of my alters I spent a whole weekend stuck between myself (host) and Daniel, our protector. It was the worst thing ever. I didn't know who I was for a whole weekend. I started to wonder if I was a trans male because I was having such an identity crisis 😬
This is how I started to figure out something was up with me. I started questioning my gender big time. To give a bit of insight I (the host) am extremely feminine and my first switch was with my gender nonconforming alter. Still figuring this all out, but glad I’m not alone...
I thought I was a trans male for about a YEAR (Although I didn't mind when someone said the wrong pronounce but sometimes I would EXPLODE when someone called me by she/her and other days I couldn't care less) ! And I still sometimes get super dysphoric sometimes for no reason although I see myself as female
It's interesting how switching can be different from system to system. I know it's a sensitive topic and a very private and intimate thing. I'm glad you are comfortable sharing your experiences (and switch infront of camera) ^^
It took a couple days and talking with friends about it to feel comfortable posting the switch! I think it helped that it was a really smooth switch tbh, Lorianne and I were co-con and cleaning the room before recording and had the whole video mapped out and when we switched halfway through it was just very clean and coordinated. Otherwise I don't think I would've been comfortable sharing, but I'm glad the fates aligned so it was comfortable! :)
The Rings System Don't ever feel pressured to post something you don't feel comfortable with. It's not worth the stress. Your safety and mental health is more important :)
We describe our switches like the cockpit of a ship. (Thats also how we visualize frontspace) So say I was fronting and then Judge decided to switch in. One of several things can happen: Judge can smoothly take the controls from me before sitting down and I can then either take them back because I was already in the seat or slide out pf his way and let him sit down. This causes little to /no/ dissociation for us. He can try to scoot his way into the chair and suddenly we wont know whos controlling what and its very confusing and then I can either fight him or just let him front. This causes more dissociation. Judge could shove me out of the chair and sit down which can be very disorienting and cause even more dissocoation and often panic responces from the body. Or we could suddenly be blended together in the seat, unsure of whos doing what, who we are, etc. This wierd blendy state is what we believe to be a big cause for our longer periods of dissociation. Sometimes though we like step away from the seat to discuss things or the one fronting spins the chair around. They can still turn back around to control the body, but mostly in that moment the body is just spacing off as we discuss things. Sorry for oversharing. This just got us thinking. Thank you 🍀
oof those hours long switches are always the worst for sure. you explained everything super well. it was very brave of you to share your switch too. ;w; -jay
We've actually been trying to slow some of our switches down a little bit. Rose has described the instantaneous switches to hir as feeling like that moment when you start to doze off while sitting, and suddenly feel like you're falling, or like you just got knocked backwards in a chair, and that doesn't happen on longer switches. -Cyan
Omg yes. Thank you. We are always cofronting. It's always a sliding scale. And 90% of our switches take days(it's only minutes if we feel extremely threatened). Awful. Most of the time it takes 2 days to get to the front and you still only get to 40% cocon, then another 2 days trying to shuffle to the back. Hoping it will improve with practice. Thank you for explaining it so well!
My switches are that I my head hurts really bad, then I can’t see for around 30 seconds. After that I feel different, but I often do not know who is fronting.
"As if you were launched into a section of your live, without knowing you were launched" is exactly what I felt roughly half a month after let's just I say came to an halt... I'd describe it like coming back to a Video game after letting it sit for a few years.
So, I think I might have OSDD-1B, but I'm not sure. I dissociate, I can vaguely and rarely hear voices in my head, I'll have my opinions, interests, and even sexuality change, but I also feel like I'm making it up. I'll be a completely different person with different opinions and reactions to things, and then just freeze because everything is blurry, and then suddenly be myself again. But the problem is, I can't tell if I have have emotional amnesia or not. That's a requirement, right? Like, otherwise I'm just making it up? I saw a thing saying that do have OSSD-1 or DID, there must be some form of amnesia, and otherwise, you're just one person? Idk. I remember EVERYTHING in the third person. Attempting to make myself remember in the first person feels like a virtual reality. The problem is, I'm rarely ever attached to them. Like, my happiest memory. Say, when I got a puppy. I remember seeing him and him getting excited, wagging his tail and being cute. I love him because, well duh, but when I think of that, I don't feel attached to it. I get nothing from that memory, other than knowing it happened. Same thing with my memories of going to Disneyland when I was younger, or when the newest episode of my favorite show came out. I feel things in real time, remember them like a movie, and not feel anything after they've happened, other than maybe a couple minutes after. Is that a seperate problem or am I just dissociating way more than I think I am? Or am I not dissociating at all and I just need help?
Emotional amnesia is simply "not connecting emotionally to a memory." It's a type of dissociation experienced. We have a few videos on the topic if you want to watch them. It can be felt in varying degrees, and doesn't need to happen 24/7. Trust your gut - if you feel like something's up, get it checked out by a professional if you can! I hope figuring things out goes smoothly for you :)
THIS, this is exactly how I feel! I'm 4 years late on this video but this comment caught my eye and honestly I am haveing issues with comeing to terms with the fact I might have OSDD becuse of truma/problems caused by/with other people I've met in my life. 😅
Now that we are aware of each other and working actively on our system we co front so much more than full switching. It's nice, but you are right that multiple alter switching mess is rough stuff :D -Jay-
Yesss, switching can Really suck so bad! We have some of the worst, most Obvious switches now, and we're really worried about it happening in public one of these times and attracting unwanted attention. This isn't Too much of an issue as our agoraphobia keeps us in our room like, 95% of the time. Thank you for sharing, we love seeing other systems and learning about them!
So I found these videos on accident (went through the weird youtube algorithm you know lol) and this seems familiar but I feel like I'm just depersonalizing so much I'm just looking for something to feel real? Like I don't know. Its just like some times I feel like I'm not my actual self and I have no control over my body and others I feel like "oh you're just being dramatic, that was you, you just were lying about that one thing to fit in" but I mean I know trauma is a base with these types of disorders and I don't consider anything in my life to be that traumatic? Not that I remember much of when I was a kid but who does lol. I don't know. When I manage to scrounge up the funds I'm going to try therapy again its just... I don't want my brain to be lowkey pretending to have a disorder because I related to a few videos? Or trying to convince myself unknowingly that something is up when all along its just anxiety and some casual depersonalization. I don't know, I'll regret this comment when I wake up and sorry its so long. 2am thoughts ya know :b y'all seem chill though, even if I don't have anything related to this, its soothing to listen to y'all talk ^.^
You're so valid! For the trauma worries, we have two videos about how 1. you don't need to remember literally anything to be valid, and 2. all types of trauma are valid bc it has nothing to do with the "what" of what happened! When you do see a therapist again, I do recommend bringing this up. Regardless of whether you're right or not, diagnostic labels are just that - labels. Your base experience is still real and valid and grounded in what you experience day-to-day - so talking about it with a therapist will lead to self discovery, regardless of what label you end up with 💓
So every video I’ve watched it has always been silver and soon as I clicked this I was like woah she sounds different and realized it wasn’t silver fronting and you said she was co conscious. Like it was so obvious right away.
This is pretty interesting to listen to. It reminds me of a lot of my own experiences even if they are from completely different origins. Like fairly often I’ll kind of just dissociate and be like oh shit just happened and I don’t remember it but I know that it wasn’t an alter or anything like that because I’m just one person, I kinda just zone out to the extreme and I don’t really react to anything beyond what’s directed of me. It’s weird. I also do this weird thing where I’ll like split my mind up into different parts? Which sounds weirder than it is, its really just me going oop this sounds too difficult or whatever to deal with I’m gonna pretend I’m a different person now and like I’m still me…but I’m also different in like every single way besides consciousness. Really fuckin weird and idk what it is but it’s helpful even if it’s really shitty a lot of the time. Was more helpful when it was needed to like not kill myself out of stress, and way less trouble. Now it feels like more trouble than helpful but still helpful enough that I can’t really care. It’s a weird situation where I’m one person but like with layers. Like an onion. All part of the same onion, same dna, just different sizes and shapes but still the same onion. The onion is my consciousness the sizes and shapes are my personality. Somehow they’re two different things for me.
My switch is really short, but not dizzy but I change painlessly. When I feel like I shouldn't have done some things. Sometimes switching up be unnoticeable
This is a funny story to tell. When I was going to the shops once I suddenly felt like a fussy fashionista and I normally don’t care how I look or about fashion really. And when I remember that I really don’t feel like that was me. Dang, fashionista alter. Didn’t know bout that. I only have acted like that 3 times exactly Edit: I was like for almost an hour. Lol
Okay so, I think I have DID and I have taken 2 tests (some that don’t cost money and that aren’t 100% accurate so idk) and one was 56/125 and another one was like.. I probably have it I don’t remember. I talked to my therapist about it and she said that she didn’t know if she had it or not. I have 2 or 3 “personalities” and 1 of them likes gore, dark videos, talks sexual to mostly females, ships people together, tries kissing people, flips people off, curses a lot, has a low voice, etc. My second “personality” is bubbly, has a high voice, compliments people, very shy, likes teddy bears, likes reading and writing, likes anything pastel, loves hugs, loves cuddling, etc. My other “personality” just acts stupid all the time. I’ve seen many videos where people switch and they don’t know what’s going on, and they find themselves in weird places. I am always fully aware when these personalities come out but I forget some memories. My body moves on it’s own a lot. One time I thought about getting a drink and I randomly started walking, even though I had no control over it. When my sexual personality comes out, my voice gets deep and I have no control over my body at that point and my stomach tenses up every time that personality comes out. My other personality has a really high voice and I can’t control it at all, and it’s hard to get it back to normal. My therapist said I may or may not have it, my best friend said I have it, my boyfriend doesn’t know if I have it, and the tests were just a 50/50. I have always wondered if I have DID since I can’t control my body when these personalities come out. My rowdy personality comes out from 12AM-3PM, my shy and bubbly personality comes out every 5 hours I guess, and my dumb personality comes out once a week.
POV you came here to learn but relate a bit too much… I doubt I have did but sometimes it really feels like the things you described Edit: I’ve always described my brain as having many voices in it- as well as I’ve struggled with identity as in I don’t feel like my self exactly It’s kinda funny I made a character over 4 years ago named lukas He describes the “oh shit I’m kinda a asz hole I don’t want to be- leading to major depression- and the feeling of I can’t stop certain actions that I myself disagree with? If that makes sense. Every once in a while I go into this weird stage where I think I’m cool af- confidence peaked, the haha feeling like 😈embodiment then the more “lukas stage” hits and I’m like oh heck I don’t want to be like this but I for some reason can’t stop myself. Like as character I describe him as a misunderstood ass hole… he doesn’t want to be but like can’t stop/ sometimes doesn’t want to stop exactly I seriously don’t know how to describe this- I am formally diagnosed with major depression, anxiety, and am currently on a waiting list to test for autism… so idk if what I’m feeling is just a strange over thinking combo of that or what… I also have those really sudden disassociated/ manic/ numb moments some times for a painfully long time. Again I don’t claim to have DID but this video was a bit too relatable and I’m questions many past incidents right now
Everytime we have a consistant host, they get extremely stressed and have to deal with all incoming trauma so we have this new system (pun not intended) of letting a different alter front every day for however long in the day they want. Today it was me, and honestly I had fun. Important information we need to function day to day like people we know, our teachers and some friends, and common knowledge of our school subjects is all in the common memory so that's definitely helpful - Vylad
In our system switching is like you are a ghost and leave the body then the alter who you are switching with comes and fronts. Sometimes unexpected switches happened. (it happened to me Venus, caretaker once) It was like i lost control without my permision and then Ollie (also a caretaker) fronted without wanting to. Our system is really weird but at least the communication is okay lol
Im really happy i found your channel and i’m feeling comfortable for once thinking about how to talk to a counselor or therapist (unfortunately i might have to wait because of the pandemic) but i’ve described my experience to close friends many times in the past and had alot of people try to convince me i have DID, but i was worried that they were wrong because i don’t feel amnesia Everytime between switches, but i do feel emotional amnesia often. before i knew there was a word for their role i had a persecutor that would cause alot of spiritual and physical damage to myself i think as a way to try to encourage and protect my system from ‘outting itself’ and putting ourselves in the face of danger, also i think as a statement to remind ourselves that one person claiming to be the main guy was degrading toward myself. I agree with what you say in alot of your videos that when you start showing those scarier parts of yourself compassion and love and learn to understand them they can develop and grow into much more refined, and thoughtful people. They were before but maybe didn’t know how to communicate it well enough. My persecutor and gatekeeper have been going on a long journey to try to achieve integration, starting when i’d been long thinking that my spiritual self was out of alignment(i study hindu), or maybe there was a reason that i felt like multiple people incarnated into one body was a punishment for me wanting to not exist, i’m not sure. I never knew about osdd1b until this week, and i’ve been so nervous to tell my real experiences to a therapist for years and have them say i’m ‘faking DID because i don’t have amnesia everytime’ or because i’m coconsious at most times, when in reality i never thought i had DID, maybe something similar but i felt like i didn’t have DID, even friends i knew with DID told me they thought i had it but i could see the distinct differences between what we were experiencing and for a long time i’ve been worried there was not even a termonology for something like i’ve been experiencing. The past few years i’ve been accepting and trying to communicate and be aware and compassionate and understanding of the other people inside of me, including myself. I know that i’m sure by the way i’ve gotten to know those parts of myself that many of them think that they are myself the same way that i experience thinking of myself as myself(sorry if this is worded horribly), and it’s helped to be less selfish on that front, which also helps us all to cooperate to do whats best for ourselves and each other, and for the body we reside in. Thank you so much for making your videos it means more than the world to me to feel like i have a clue to what might be happening to me, and even if when i do finally get to see a specialist they show me a different path to what i’m potentially trying to figure out that still makes your sharing very helpful.
i feel like if i tell my mom about did she would flip. she doesn’t even like the fact that i thought i was gay. so i had to keep it to my self. and she wont get me a therapist cause she doesn’t believe in that stuff. if i tell her about having different personalities shed try to preform an exorcism…lmao help
for me it physically feels like different parts of my body feel different, like if one alt comes my fingers will feel really long and when another comes i will feel a lot shorter than i am
for us the main switch we have our body goes fully limp and stuff and if i do that that will i think usually make a switch happen and depending on how forces the switch was depends on how long it takes, i usually feel very dissociated and ditsracted and start getting heavy and heavier till i ploop (thats what i call going limp because its more fun) and then i kinda just sit there and my thoughts go and someone elses take over and then they are controlling the body nand get up. for triggered switches which are the quick ones it takes like a second or to and we just blink a bit more then usual for a bit and then someone else starta controlling the body and then their thoughts take over entirely and usually co cons are our hour long switches but sometimes they are only 30 vmins or dont lkead to a switch at all
Thank you so much. It's so hard to understand my DID and this has helped bring me so much peace. I also felt like a faker because my switches were not clear, they were super blurry and confusing.
I'm new to this channel and I'm curious about a couple things if you're comfortable answering. How many alters do you have? And I've heard of dissociadid refer to an "inner world." I don't know if all DID people have one so if you do what is yours like?
I'm having sooo much trouble with amy.we have been trying for a while and only switched 2 times but for a minute or so. Please leave some tips. I've tried relaxing and sleeping but nothing has worked. Please leave some tipssss
What if the idea of me being a system is something one or more alters is resistant or dismissive of? I'm not sure if this stuff applies to me but it feels like it could?
ive been getting those feelings for a while but i dont really know ive been having signs and some people even said i showed signs like my friends online when texting. ive tried to communicate to see if there are others and i think im kinda close to knowing if there is someone else i think i got his name and pronouns. thing is i feel i will act differently but i dont think i control myself to much im aware of what i do but its like idk what im doing in a way? or how im acting? ill get up and do something and just do it its just something that happens and ill get up to do something and wont remember what i was doing for some reason and feel different. i feel dissociative a lot too. i sometimes dont know who i am. and ive tried to make a headspace and stuff but i havent been able to and i know it takes a while. i feel i switch up my personality a lot like i want to be this way and that way and just feel im becoming that way without myself having control tbh. im to afraid to get much of help about this by a doctor which leaves me undiagnosed. which is why im trying to find things out myself. doctors kinda look down on minors and especially ones who are afab about that stuff here. because you know they will say its puberty, hormones, and if ur afab they will say its ur period. and my parents think its that too and that ill grow out of it. so i cant do anything about it. it makes me freak out sm.
So- Uh hi, I've beem struggling with stuff lately. Ive noticed that, over the years, I've like...ahh I don't know how to explain it. When I was a kid, I'd play pretend and when I got in character, I got way into character. I was that character and the character was me. Sometimes, depending on who I'm around, my personality can change. I often have arguments and conversations with myself in my head, but the other voice is slightly deeper. Earlier I wanted to try something. I said the name Aaron over and over (it's a name I've always felt connected to) while visualizing pushing myself (Hannah) to the back of my mind. I got all tingly and slightly confused. I felt different. My voice was a bit deeper, and I actually wanted to get work done. Was...was that an alter? I've only experienced a few "big" traumas that I can remember, and they all seem to manifest themselves in either my dreams (i think especially from my friend banging on my bedroom window one morning) or in my intolerance to loud noises (two incidents with g/ns) I dunno. Ive also got ADHD, anxiety, and a tic disorder if that adds anything. If anyone's got advice, I'd greatly appreciate it. :]
Hello! It could be or it couldn't be - we really can't tell you, because we're not a professional. However, we can recommend some resources - did-research.org , traumadissociation.com , and Amongst Ourselves: A Self-Help Guide to Living with Dissociative Identity Disorder by Tracy Alderman
Here's a question that I am curious on. Is it normal to start just aggressively shaking or feeling a strong sense of nervousness or anxiety when switching? Or when it's happening or as it's going through?
This is totally true! I’m really gracious that I’m not the only one who experiences co-fronting and instantaneous switches. Most of the time, when Maeko and Maximum switch, they’re either co-fronting together or switch instantly, because they mostly come out when I’m feeling really stressed. Crimson is the only one who really takes a while to switch, due to their role being different than Maeko and Maximum’s. Thank you for this video!
I’ve only switched twice, both were super short. It was painless, and I could feel it coming on, as although the alter did not ask permission, she gave signs that she was about to switch, so like, I could tell, although the warning signs were like right before it happened so I didn’t have much time to react T.T I switched in the bathtub, and I woke up, super confused, laying in my bed, fully clothed, barely any memory of inbwtween besides like 2 small blurry frames but that was it. Super scary. Second time was late at night, and I don’t remember much, other than collapsing on top of my device and then waking up in a completely new game hearing the alter that fronted apologizing because “she got bored in the game I was playing”. Although it sounds funny, it was honestly scary, both times.
The Rings System suddenly everyone likes them now😔 and people always bug me and say "can [insert alter] pleaseee come out" and as you obviously know it's not always a fun thing and they always glamourize my DID, and to make it worse my mom and my dad [people who caused the trauma] can't accept that they caused it and just ignore it or tell me it's fake
@@makolite I'm sorry to hear that too 😔 Sometimes it feels like you can't catch a break, either from getting teased or having other people be ~fascinated~ by you. I hope you guys can find spaces to exist in as yourselves and be treated with respect ❤️
I just saw this and have to ask before forgetting, is it normal to have days where you switch a lot for no reason and then some days not at all? I feel like I fake sometimes because no one will be around and then one day everyone just shows up to say hi and I always see systems around me have pretty consistent switches.. Thanks for your help! - Jasmine
Seeing you switch makes me feel much better about mine bc it always feels like I am not spacy/taking long enough even when they happen. Now I know that is kinda normal.
I would love to hear your experience about inner worlds. Your videos are super helpful, and i feel like it really explains a lot of what i deal with, but i have no concept of inner worlds. As a teenager i used to have lucid dreams almost every night, but i dont any more and i dont think i have an inner world. Thanks for any imput!
Thank you! We have inner world videos planned, but the short of it is that we didn't have an inner world either for a very long time, and ended up building our own :)
We had lond switches 2 times and it was really terrible experience! The body felt weakly, we needed to lie and be in a silence before it has ended... Soooo terrible...
I hope you don't mind me asking a question! When you were talking about how long it took for you guys to switch, you said it only took a few minutes and rarely ever had any sort of weird dissociate-y period. Has it always been that way for you guys or did it take work to get to that spot? Personally when we switch it can take hours or days and nobody is quite sure what's happening a lot of the time. We've (or at least some of us.) only been actively trying to establish communication for a few months now after a long denial period, so I'm wondering if switching is something that gets easier with time and communication?
Turns out we’re having more weird dissociaty long switches then we thought back then. But regardless, yeah switching is something that gets easier with time, trust, communication, and therapy :)
Great video! Thanks for being brave and opening up about it! When I switch, it feels like the room around me fades away and i feel very disconnected from reality and my surroundings for a minute or a few minutes. My alter is only 4
questioning system in need of help, i derealize or dissociate when just taking walks. i dont know whos fronting when i switch and i have no idea how to get into headspace to find out
Ring System, you are so helpful! Could you please consider making a video about how to approach discussing DID as a friend/loved-one of a system (between the external friend and that system)? I have someone very important to me, and I am 100% sure that he is DID system, but he doesn't yet express names for entities or discuss the DID experience overtly in any way. He DOES, however, refer to it very vaguely in a way that it could go over someone else's head if they wanted to be in denial about it. I have made enough equally vague comments (metaphorical, etc) that some parts of the system could pick up on the fact that I definitely know! Yet, still no overt conversation about it? I've been gentle and patient, and I will continue to do so. But, I could use some input!!!! My motivation isn't to speak overtly for my own sake, but for the sake of a healthy friendship/relationship... and to give permission for his system to feel that freedom. Make sense?
Heyy! I got diagnosed with DID a couple of days ago and I've been trying to research as much as i can. I wanted to ask that is it possible to switch without disassociating? Does switching feels like you're viewing yourself from a third person's point of view or can the host fully be aware that they've switched and that they're acting in a way they shouldn't. And if they wanted to, can they can take control over the physical expressiveness of the alter and also first examine what the thoughts of the alters are before the host can implement them? Please someone help me with this!
Coordinating switches is a learned skill! We recommend spending some time each day talking with your system, and building internal communication - and after awhile, in the moment you could ask if anyone would like to switch. Doesn't work all the time, and takes a lot of trust building and skill building, but it might help.
There's exactly the reason we don't want to be given names. If people know us by names they can decide they like some of us but not others and try to tell ones they don't like to go away and tell us who should be in front
So, when you switch mostly you don't know you are, right? I am confused still if I am even switching or what is happening but I have felt this way so much and always just chucked it off to severe moodiness before my period!! The movies always make it seem like it's so quick and even some people on UA-cam seem to be Pros at turning it on and off! I never saw what happened to me that it could possibly be this but I will have horrible, throbbing headaches sometimes that have even awakened me up from a deep sleep and I will have those moments where I feel so totally numb and out of it and just empty and where I can't feel anything and it usually makes me feel super depressed!! I will even cry during those times for seemingly no reason!! I now am seeing there is a possible reason and my poor little Mona alter because that was my name at birth! I changed it to Lisa when I was adopted but I think a part of me will always be that tormented little girl who wants her mama and cries whenever she is alone and scared!! My husband has seen her come out!! She's still there yet I have no feeling of her!! I wish I knew her and I wish I knew all about everything that my birth mom allowed those sick nasty men to do to her!!!! 😔💔
Sometimes the alter knows who they are and feels grounded, but sometimes you can have really gross blurry periods with no idea who you are. A lot of what you're describing seems to be dissociation or related symptoms, and I'd recommend bringing this up with a professional if you can!
My alter change to often when im down mad or depressed and its not good because my alter rayyan always harming me. =) Im only 18years old =) sometime i really mad at myself and say why me why i have this 'D -Ara
Is it normal for alters to ‘ignore’ the host? I’m not sure if I (we?) have DID or OSDD-1b, but I think I’ve experienced a switch before (it was short, lasting a maximum 10 minutes?) and then switched back to the host. Lately I’ve been trying to communicate with what I think is a male alter (I’m not sure of his role) but he won’t communicate back with me. Is it normal to be ignored? Or is he communicating with me in a way I’m not figuring out? Sorry for the long question Edit: I was aware of the switch when it was happening and felt in control of the body
Sometimes I think I might have this disorder, but I don't fully knows how it works yet so I dont want to just say I do have it. But I feel like I have some of these things happen to me. Or things happen when I slowly black out. Like one time I started texting someone a full message and a cropped image of a character I didn't crop previously. Or a section of hair was about half an inch cut when I looked at it. But the most noticeable was I was a really slightly conscious but half of me wasn't there. My parents thought I was on drugs but I answered all the questions correctly, but I didn't fully feel like I answered them, like as if someone else did for me. But I'm not about to self diagnose myself, but if someone with it like yourself knows all the symptoms I trust you can partially tell who might have it, but I can be absolutely wrong
I would actually push back on your last sentence! You're a higher authority than we are about whether you have DID/OSDD or not. We're neither a therapist, nor know you even a fraction of well enough to give you advice on the subject. Self-diagnosis, on the other hand, is something that is completely valid. We were self-diagnosed for 3 years before getting a professional diagnosis. Regardless, what you described does sound like dissociative symptomology of some sort, and I'd recommend looking into it further (either via therapist or research) I'd recommend did-research.org and traumadissociation.com as starting points for learning more :)
My alters refuse to communicate with me or bond with me .. someone will say something about what I'm doing and we will argue about something else then I can't feel them anymore... Why won't they try to bond with me too?
I can't tell you why but I can advise that you have patience. It's hard adjusting to being a system, and they might be going through their own acceptance process or struggling with their own trauma. Keep being there and being open to them, and I'm sure they'll come around eventually ❤️ (+therapy is always helpful too!)
The rest of my message still stands even if you can't get therapy: Have patience for you(rselves) and treat you (and any alters) with kindness and love. It takes time to build relationships, whether they're external or internal! ❤️
I have a question, when it comes to osdd, I heard there can be no amnesia during the switches but does that mean someone else is controlling the body and you are still aware but can’t do anything or you are still in control of the body but due to the alter want to do things you wouldn’t normally do? Or does it vary from system to system?
Ok! So the second one ("still in control of the body but due to the alter want to do things you wouldn’t normally do") would be passive influence, which we just covered in a video. When someone else is fronting, you can either be aware while someone else is controlling the body, OR when you come back, you remember everything they did (even though you weren't there for it)
Can you switch personalities but still remember everything? I am curious because I do switch personalities but I remember what they do and what I do. Edit: The only thing I don’t remember is Trauma. Did I have Trauma or not but I suppose you wouldn’t’t know that. But I do have blanks when I am talking and I don’t remember some big or happy moments, or sometimes upsetting ones.
The Rings System Thanks! I have told this on a channel that also talks about D.I.D and a person that watches it says that it is definitely not D.I.D. Eek, but if I do have D.I.D I do not know any of them! Is their any way to meet them? The alters?
I experience very bad dissociation, but I don't necessarily know if I am a system or not. I identify with the body at all times, but there are definitely times where I feel and see myself acting/thinking strangely, and I have a lot of conflicting thoughts and feelings about everything. I guess the best example would be being interested in someone that I want to date, and other times I feel completely disgusted to the idea of being with the person. It's something that I've started realizing a lot more recently, but I don't have any amnesia. I just notice that I get really bad dissociation and sometimes feel weird/type weird/etc. Any input on this mess of words I put together would be very helpful to me, I'm still trying to figure things out.
Hello! I'm not a professional, and cannot diagnose you - only offer information and paths for you to look into yourself. I'd recommend reading over did-research.org, specifically their pages on DID vs OSDD, and traumadissociation.com Our videos on DID vs OSDD-1b and emotional amnesia should be helpful to you as well. That's also probably a dissociative experience, and I 100% recommend you talk to a therapist if you're able 💓
@@TheRingsSystem Thank you so much for the resources, I've been looking into it as much as I could recently, and I'm hoping to find a therapist that focuses on these things so I can get answers. I appreciate the response.
I just experienced co-fronting for the first time consciously. I don't know what to do. It was terrifying. Even though I've known for a long time that I'm not alone within my body, it's the first it's become real. What can I do?
ive beentrying to figure out if i have did or not . i have multiple symptoms and have expeeienced these feelings as well . im talking to psychiatrists and whatnot now to make sure and get things set in stone . / is it possible to feel sort of nauseous after ' switching ' ? / gq
I have a question : Can switching happen without an apparent trigger (negative or positive) ? Like, if someone else just wants to front to eat something or whatever ? Not for defense purposes or because of a trigger ?
1:53 I have this a lot when I’m in school. I’m there but someone is making the choices with what to do for me. I only can step in when something dangerous/wrong happens to evade even more problems
How do you find out if you have did? I think I might but I cannot tell.. if I look up symptoms I remember having a few of them but then I start thinking "nah I'm probably just trying to have something that I dont have" is there any way to forsure know?
I had this one moment that I wasn't in my body but I was in my body watching my body do things that I would consider normal like washing the dishes, driving, eating, watching a movie. It would somehow feel like I was watching myself from my mind if that makes sense. I had no control of what I was doing but I could see it? Does that make sense? It's hard to explain
Thank you for explaining this, we often go switch a lot. Because of all the trauma responses we’ve had in the past. And we have been in an identity crisis for three days now. And really can’t get out of it. Thanks a lot, moon,
Sorry if this questions worded wrong or if it's sensitive but with the sudden switching can that be normal for some people? The ones that just suddenly happen? Also thank you for reading
As an artist I’m never aware of who’s in front until I draw something, they have very different skill levels that can indicate who’s been messing around with what while I wasn’t paying attention, I don’t like how chaotic they make it
This is so relatable.. the little in my system has a very different coloring style.. so if we’re working on a commission and he comes up front it can end in disaster 😭
Your video is awesome! I've been writing a novel about a man who fall in love with a DID afflicted woman and I find your video very helpful. My writing is still in Indonesian though. Anyway, wish you all good life!
I experience co fronting more often than switching at all.
Me, as I call myself the original main front, often feel like one of the alters is here like sitting on my shoulder, sometimes putting in their own feelings or emotion. And sometimes theyll even completly front without me relaxing, until later when im reminded of certain conversations or actions ive done.
Ill be sitting there like "oh...yeah i did say that" but be detached knowing it wasnt the me I currently am but some other me I didn't notice doing it.
Hydra Theta me too I call myself the true me but they said we are true too 😂I call them my brothers no alters but whatever. Thanks for the comment.
So, is it normal to just... not know who's fronting? Been spending a lot of time in dissociation land lately. There are clues but I get that blah, empty, tired feeling mostly.
Btw I love how you described it!! Kind of helps me to laugh at it a little, thinking of it less like this big monster and more like "eww I think I just stepped in some dissociation" lol
Haha, yeah! That's totally normal, there's even words for when you don't know who's fronting! Blurry is the most commonly used one, but we also use "blobby' or "dissociated gunk'
Lol eeew yeah Best description ever! I guess soo cause same. -.- ;D thanks for asking the question!=D makes us feel so much more valid and "normal" ^^ I dont know what we would do without my DID/OSD Tribe =)) ♡♡♡
YOU all are not alone we Can totaly relate to everything you wrote. If you want to share: ? How long does it take for you to untangle Who is Front? Do you have found a way that helps? =)
~♡ and Hope from a fellow blurry bunch =))
The Rings System
We tend to call ourselves "soup" when we can't tell who's fronting lol
Oooooh, you just turned our world on its ear! We've been associating "blah, empty, tired" with awful episodes of feeling alone in our head, only one sprinkle trying to do everything by herself, but maybe it's more like being so blendy we overlap like Bosons. If some trees fall into the same quantum state and there's no spread across phase space to differentiate them, do they make a plurality?
we completely relate to this
most of the time i dont even realize it happens until i am somewhere i never went to (ex. when i couldn’t find my stuffed animal then “woke up” in the bathroom washing my hands with the stuffed animal next to me)
Haha, we were surprised by a switch in the video being not mentioned in the title. (The other warnings seem plenty sufficient, it's just a novelty to find out in the description rather than the title.)
It seems almost every time we listen to descriptions of life in other systems, they shed more light into our blind spots, so thanks! For us co-fronting is especially welcome and we're trying to get better at triggering it: most of us can tire easily from the cognitive loads of most motor stuff, especially mouth speech, so help is always welcome, and at any rate we also find nearly any sensations of closeness with other spiders very comforting. (We do accidentally elbow one another, sometimes rather sharply, but it's become infrequent since wising up to the whole plurality thing.) We guess most humans are more strong-willed and less clingy & codependent than ourself, 55. We would like to be less blendy at least a lot of the time, though. Less blendy co-consciousness seems to give everything more depth.
Is there any certain, feeling like in the body when a switch happens.
Yes! Check out our physical symptoms and sensations of DID video. We’re gonna re-do this video at some point so keep an eye out for that too :)
Oh interesting. Our switches (not that I've experienced any yet) have normally been 10 minutes minimum rarely an instant switch, and we've had many of those awful multi-hour switches, and you're right they are "bleh" as you put it! Maybe it's to do with the fact that we are a new system with limited/no communication so switches are very difficult?
Possibly! It’s hard to know - it also varies system by system, and changes due to the environment
@@TheRingsSystem we have a rather tricky environment right now, but our previous host was able to practice and improve on switches in the last, but we had some major setbacks a few months ago. Anything's possible
- Jamie (host)
What I think my switches are is like out of nowhere ( or actually expecting it) im looking at something and I space out, I forget what I was saying or thinking then it gets a little blurry and I look around to understand whats happening and then there is I switched
Okay so this is what I want to know about whenever you fully switch what does it feel like? Do you still feel like your self? Is it just blurry and foggy?
It's like really hard to describe this - however, we're planning a switching 2.0 video soon! So stay tuned for that :)
I had to switch out straight away cos of the devil picture. Might try find another video of yours or listen without watching. Ta
We took that out relatively quickly, so if you watch any of our newer videos it shouldn’t be in there! There’s only about 5 early videos where that’s there. We’re also planning on remaking those where it is there! If you’d like I can tell you which to avoid ❤️
@@TheRingsSystem Yes please cos the second one i clicked on it was there to. Sorry don't Mean to be a pain. I guess u understand tho so thank you.
No pain at all! I totally understand triggers and that's why we stopped filming w the poster in the background.
Here's which ones to avoid:
-Silver's Introduction
-DID/OSDD resources
-Integration
-Welcome to the channel
-What does switching feel like
-Faceclaims
-Lorianne's introduction
-Dissociation + College
-Gender/Sexuality + Systems
-A new therapist!!
Everything else should be good! ❤️
@@TheRingsSystem Thank you. Good on you hun.
Mmm. We're. We're an accidental tulpa system we think, but that seems,,, familiar.
Hmm.
~Dark, a confused and semi-questioning host.
I hope the exploration process goes smoothly ❤️
Nice , i loved the video do you have discord
Currently undiagnosed but working on figuring out what's going on when a stranger comes into my head and takes the reigns. Two days ago I met 2 different people in the span of one night, and I can't tell what that meant... Im currently trying to figure out what's going on. One told me his name was Duckie, he was a little boy, 6 years old or so, whereas The Wolf was. .. a wolf . Help?
I hope you can figure it out! Alters can often take the form of children or animals, and I wish you the best of luck on your journey ❤️
In my system there's one alter (a protector) who is just not stop at roughly ten percent in the background, it makes switching MUCH easier.
This is very informative thank you! Btw I noticed the black ring, right hand, middle finger I have found a fellow Asexual! ♡
I took the likes from 69 to 70 just for you!
Keyboard smash is lifutnfirn noooo
@@olivander6990 that's such a sweet thing to do ☺️
@Clementine Beagley here as well
I have found my people >:3
Honestly, about a year ago when I wasn't aware of my alters I spent a whole weekend stuck between myself (host) and Daniel, our protector. It was the worst thing ever. I didn't know who I was for a whole weekend. I started to wonder if I was a trans male because I was having such an identity crisis 😬
OH that's a mood and that's the WORST.
This is how I started to figure out something was up with me. I started questioning my gender big time. To give a bit of insight I (the host) am extremely feminine and my first switch was with my gender nonconforming alter. Still figuring this all out, but glad I’m not alone...
Charlotte oh my god that’s literally what’s happening to me rn and it sucks as hell
I thought I was a trans male for about a YEAR (Although I didn't mind when someone said the wrong pronounce but sometimes I would EXPLODE when someone called me by she/her and other days I couldn't care less) ! And I still sometimes get super dysphoric sometimes for no reason although I see myself as female
It's interesting how switching can be different from system to system. I know it's a sensitive topic and a very private and intimate thing. I'm glad you are comfortable sharing your experiences (and switch infront of camera) ^^
It took a couple days and talking with friends about it to feel comfortable posting the switch! I think it helped that it was a really smooth switch tbh, Lorianne and I were co-con and cleaning the room before recording and had the whole video mapped out and when we switched halfway through it was just very clean and coordinated. Otherwise I don't think I would've been comfortable sharing, but I'm glad the fates aligned so it was comfortable! :)
The Rings System Don't ever feel pressured to post something you don't feel comfortable with. It's not worth the stress. Your safety and mental health is more important :)
@@dreamingscarlettm5415 Thank you!
We describe our switches like the cockpit of a ship. (Thats also how we visualize frontspace)
So say I was fronting and then Judge decided to switch in. One of several things can happen:
Judge can smoothly take the controls from me before sitting down and I can then either take them back because I was already in the seat or slide out pf his way and let him sit down. This causes little to /no/ dissociation for us.
He can try to scoot his way into the chair and suddenly we wont know whos controlling what and its very confusing and then I can either fight him or just let him front. This causes more dissociation.
Judge could shove me out of the chair and sit down which can be very disorienting and cause even more dissocoation and often panic responces from the body.
Or we could suddenly be blended together in the seat, unsure of whos doing what, who we are, etc. This wierd blendy state is what we believe to be a big cause for our longer periods of dissociation.
Sometimes though we like step away from the seat to discuss things or the one fronting spins the chair around. They can still turn back around to control the body, but mostly in that moment the body is just spacing off as we discuss things.
Sorry for oversharing. This just got us thinking. Thank you 🍀
Thanks for sharing! We always love hearing from other systems ❤️
oof those hours long switches are always the worst for sure. you explained everything super well. it was very brave of you to share your switch too. ;w; -jay
Yes they suck! Especially if you are in school or taking a test... ಥ‿ಥ
I don’t know if “gross dissociation” is a professional term, but same.
We've actually been trying to slow some of our switches down a little bit. Rose has described the instantaneous switches to hir as feeling like that moment when you start to doze off while sitting, and suddenly feel like you're falling, or like you just got knocked backwards in a chair, and that doesn't happen on longer switches. -Cyan
Omg yes. Thank you. We are always cofronting. It's always a sliding scale. And 90% of our switches take days(it's only minutes if we feel extremely threatened). Awful. Most of the time it takes 2 days to get to the front and you still only get to 40% cocon, then another 2 days trying to shuffle to the back. Hoping it will improve with practice. Thank you for explaining it so well!
Sarah S i relate to this so much
My switches are that I my head hurts really bad, then I can’t see for around 30 seconds. After that I feel different, but I often do not know who is fronting.
"As if you were launched into a section of your live, without knowing you were launched" is exactly what I felt roughly half a month after let's just I say came to an halt...
I'd describe it like coming back to a Video game after letting it sit for a few years.
So, I think I might have OSDD-1B, but I'm not sure. I dissociate, I can vaguely and rarely hear voices in my head, I'll have my opinions, interests, and even sexuality change, but I also feel like I'm making it up. I'll be a completely different person with different opinions and reactions to things, and then just freeze because everything is blurry, and then suddenly be myself again. But the problem is, I can't tell if I have have emotional amnesia or not. That's a requirement, right? Like, otherwise I'm just making it up? I saw a thing saying that do have OSSD-1 or DID, there must be some form of amnesia, and otherwise, you're just one person? Idk.
I remember EVERYTHING in the third person. Attempting to make myself remember in the first person feels like a virtual reality. The problem is, I'm rarely ever attached to them. Like, my happiest memory. Say, when I got a puppy. I remember seeing him and him getting excited, wagging his tail and being cute. I love him because, well duh, but when I think of that, I don't feel attached to it. I get nothing from that memory, other than knowing it happened. Same thing with my memories of going to Disneyland when I was younger, or when the newest episode of my favorite show came out. I feel things in real time, remember them like a movie, and not feel anything after they've happened, other than maybe a couple minutes after. Is that a seperate problem or am I just dissociating way more than I think I am? Or am I not dissociating at all and I just need help?
Emotional amnesia is simply "not connecting emotionally to a memory." It's a type of dissociation experienced. We have a few videos on the topic if you want to watch them. It can be felt in varying degrees, and doesn't need to happen 24/7.
Trust your gut - if you feel like something's up, get it checked out by a professional if you can!
I hope figuring things out goes smoothly for you :)
THIS, this is exactly how I feel! I'm 4 years late on this video but this comment caught my eye and honestly I am haveing issues with comeing to terms with the fact I might have OSDD becuse of truma/problems caused by/with other people I've met in my life. 😅
this is exactly what i was trying to describe to my therapist. THANK YOU.
Now that we are aware of each other and working actively on our system we co front so much more than full switching. It's nice, but you are right that multiple alter switching mess is rough stuff :D
-Jay-
Yesss, switching can Really suck so bad! We have some of the worst, most Obvious switches now, and we're really worried about it happening in public one of these times and attracting unwanted attention. This isn't Too much of an issue as our agoraphobia keeps us in our room like, 95% of the time. Thank you for sharing, we love seeing other systems and learning about them!
:0 We have an alter called Silver too!
:0
So I found these videos on accident (went through the weird youtube algorithm you know lol) and this seems familiar but I feel like I'm just depersonalizing so much I'm just looking for something to feel real? Like I don't know. Its just like some times I feel like I'm not my actual self and I have no control over my body and others I feel like "oh you're just being dramatic, that was you, you just were lying about that one thing to fit in" but I mean I know trauma is a base with these types of disorders and I don't consider anything in my life to be that traumatic? Not that I remember much of when I was a kid but who does lol. I don't know. When I manage to scrounge up the funds I'm going to try therapy again its just... I don't want my brain to be lowkey pretending to have a disorder because I related to a few videos? Or trying to convince myself unknowingly that something is up when all along its just anxiety and some casual depersonalization. I don't know, I'll regret this comment when I wake up and sorry its so long. 2am thoughts ya know :b y'all seem chill though, even if I don't have anything related to this, its soothing to listen to y'all talk ^.^
You're so valid! For the trauma worries, we have two videos about how 1. you don't need to remember literally anything to be valid, and 2. all types of trauma are valid bc it has nothing to do with the "what" of what happened!
When you do see a therapist again, I do recommend bringing this up. Regardless of whether you're right or not, diagnostic labels are just that - labels. Your base experience is still real and valid and grounded in what you experience day-to-day - so talking about it with a therapist will lead to self discovery, regardless of what label you end up with 💓
So every video I’ve watched it has always been silver and soon as I clicked this I was like woah she sounds different and realized it wasn’t silver fronting and you said she was co conscious. Like it was so obvious right away.
Haha, yeah! Also, Silver uses they/them pronouns :)
The Rings System thank you for letting me know!!! I’ll start using they/them pronouns from now on.
This was explained super duper well!!! Thanks Silver & Lorianne. :) -Jaylah
Lantern Skyy thanks!
This is pretty interesting to listen to. It reminds me of a lot of my own experiences even if they are from completely different origins. Like fairly often I’ll kind of just dissociate and be like oh shit just happened and I don’t remember it but I know that it wasn’t an alter or anything like that because I’m just one person, I kinda just zone out to the extreme and I don’t really react to anything beyond what’s directed of me. It’s weird. I also do this weird thing where I’ll like split my mind up into different parts? Which sounds weirder than it is, its really just me going oop this sounds too difficult or whatever to deal with I’m gonna pretend I’m a different person now and like I’m still me…but I’m also different in like every single way besides consciousness. Really fuckin weird and idk what it is but it’s helpful even if it’s really shitty a lot of the time. Was more helpful when it was needed to like not kill myself out of stress, and way less trouble. Now it feels like more trouble than helpful but still helpful enough that I can’t really care. It’s a weird situation where I’m one person but like with layers. Like an onion. All part of the same onion, same dna, just different sizes and shapes but still the same onion. The onion is my consciousness the sizes and shapes are my personality. Somehow they’re two different things for me.
My switch is really short, but not dizzy but I change painlessly. When I feel like I shouldn't have done some things. Sometimes switching up be unnoticeable
This is a funny story to tell.
When I was going to the shops once I suddenly felt like a fussy fashionista and I normally don’t care how I look or about fashion really. And when I remember that I really don’t feel like that was me.
Dang, fashionista alter. Didn’t know bout that. I only have acted like that 3 times exactly
Edit: I was like for almost an hour. Lol
Okay so, I think I have DID and I have taken 2 tests (some that don’t cost money and that aren’t 100% accurate so idk) and one was 56/125 and another one was like.. I probably have it I don’t remember. I talked to my therapist about it and she said that she didn’t know if she had it or not. I have 2 or 3 “personalities” and 1 of them likes gore, dark videos, talks sexual to mostly females, ships people together, tries kissing people, flips people off, curses a lot, has a low voice, etc. My second “personality” is bubbly, has a high voice, compliments people, very shy, likes teddy bears, likes reading and writing, likes anything pastel, loves hugs, loves cuddling, etc. My other “personality” just acts stupid all the time. I’ve seen many videos where people switch and they don’t know what’s going on, and they find themselves in weird places. I am always fully aware when these personalities come out but I forget some memories. My body moves on it’s own a lot. One time I thought about getting a drink and I randomly started walking, even though I had no control over it. When my sexual personality comes out, my voice gets deep and I have no control over my body at that point and my stomach tenses up every time that personality comes out. My other personality has a really high voice and I can’t control it at all, and it’s hard to get it back to normal. My therapist said I may or may not have it, my best friend said I have it, my boyfriend doesn’t know if I have it, and the tests were just a 50/50. I have always wondered if I have DID since I can’t control my body when these personalities come out. My rowdy personality comes out from 12AM-3PM, my shy and bubbly personality comes out every 5 hours I guess, and my dumb personality comes out once a week.
POV you came here to learn but relate a bit too much…
I doubt I have did but sometimes it really feels like the things you described
Edit: I’ve always described my brain as having many voices in it- as well as I’ve struggled with identity as in I don’t feel like my self exactly
It’s kinda funny I made a character over 4 years ago named lukas
He describes the “oh shit I’m kinda a asz hole I don’t want to be- leading to major depression- and the feeling of I can’t stop certain actions that I myself disagree with? If that makes sense.
Every once in a while I go into this weird stage where I think I’m cool af- confidence peaked, the haha feeling like 😈embodiment then the more “lukas stage” hits and I’m like oh heck I don’t want to be like this but I for some reason can’t stop myself. Like as character I describe him as a misunderstood ass hole… he doesn’t want to be but like can’t stop/ sometimes doesn’t want to stop exactly
I seriously don’t know how to describe this-
I am formally diagnosed with major depression, anxiety, and am currently on a waiting list to test for autism… so idk if what I’m feeling is just a strange over thinking combo of that or what…
I also have those really sudden disassociated/ manic/ numb moments some times for a painfully long time.
Again I don’t claim to have DID but this video was a bit too relatable and I’m questions many past incidents right now
Everytime we have a consistant host, they get extremely stressed and have to deal with all incoming trauma so we have this new system (pun not intended) of letting a different alter front every day for however long in the day they want. Today it was me, and honestly I had fun. Important information we need to function day to day like people we know, our teachers and some friends, and common knowledge of our school subjects is all in the common memory so that's definitely helpful - Vylad
I am writing a book about a character with DID and I really need to understand what switching feels like. Thank you for this!
I want to read that
In our system switching is like you are a ghost and leave the body then the alter who you are switching with comes and fronts. Sometimes unexpected switches happened. (it happened to me Venus, caretaker once) It was like i lost control without my permision and then Ollie (also a caretaker) fronted without wanting to. Our system is really weird but at least the communication is okay lol
Im really happy i found your channel and i’m feeling comfortable for once thinking about how to talk to a counselor or therapist (unfortunately i might have to wait because of the pandemic) but i’ve described my experience to close friends many times in the past and had alot of people try to convince me i have DID, but i was worried that they were wrong because i don’t feel amnesia Everytime between switches, but i do feel emotional amnesia often. before i knew there was a word for their role i had a persecutor that would cause alot of spiritual and physical damage to myself i think as a way to try to encourage and protect my system from ‘outting itself’ and putting ourselves in the face of danger, also i think as a statement to remind ourselves that one person claiming to be the main guy was degrading toward myself. I agree with what you say in alot of your videos that when you start showing those scarier parts of yourself compassion and love and learn to understand them they can develop and grow into much more refined, and thoughtful people. They were before but maybe didn’t know how to communicate it well enough. My persecutor and gatekeeper have been going on a long journey to try to achieve integration, starting when i’d been long thinking that my spiritual self was out of alignment(i study hindu), or maybe there was a reason that i felt like multiple people incarnated into one body was a punishment for me wanting to not exist, i’m not sure. I never knew about osdd1b until this week, and i’ve been so nervous to tell my real experiences to a therapist for years and have them say i’m ‘faking DID because i don’t have amnesia everytime’ or because i’m coconsious at most times, when in reality i never thought i had DID, maybe something similar but i felt like i didn’t have DID, even friends i knew with DID told me they thought i had it but i could see the distinct differences between what we were experiencing and for a long time i’ve been worried there was not even a termonology for something like i’ve been experiencing. The past few years i’ve been accepting and trying to communicate and be aware and compassionate and understanding of the other people inside of me, including myself. I know that i’m sure by the way i’ve gotten to know those parts of myself that many of them think that they are myself the same way that i experience thinking of myself as myself(sorry if this is worded horribly), and it’s helped to be less selfish on that front, which also helps us all to cooperate to do whats best for ourselves and each other, and for the body we reside in.
Thank you so much for making your videos it means more than the world to me to feel like i have a clue to what might be happening to me, and even if when i do finally get to see a specialist they show me a different path to what i’m potentially trying to figure out that still makes your sharing very helpful.
aaaa I'm so proud of your and your system!!! And I'm so glad our video have been so impactful for y'all. I hope the specialist search goes well ❤️
i feel like if i tell my mom about did she would flip. she doesn’t even like the fact that i thought i was gay. so i had to keep it to my self. and she wont get me a therapist cause she doesn’t believe in that stuff. if i tell her about having different personalities shed try to preform an exorcism…lmao help
waddup fellow frog lover
for me it physically feels like different parts of my body feel different, like if one alt comes my fingers will feel really long and when another comes i will feel a lot shorter than i am
for us the main switch we have our body goes fully limp and stuff and if i do that that will i think usually make a switch happen and depending on how forces the switch was depends on how long it takes, i usually feel very dissociated and ditsracted and start getting heavy and heavier till i ploop (thats what i call going limp because its more fun) and then i kinda just sit there and my thoughts go and someone elses take over and then they are controlling the body nand get up. for triggered switches which are the quick ones it takes like a second or to and we just blink a bit more then usual for a bit and then someone else starta controlling the body and then their thoughts take over entirely
and usually co cons are our hour long switches but sometimes they are only 30 vmins or dont lkead to a switch at all
Thank you so much. It's so hard to understand my DID and this has helped bring me so much peace. I also felt like a faker because my switches were not clear, they were super blurry and confusing.
❤️
i love that you used a "sliding scale" to present how it feels to switch!! this really helped me understand what it's like.
I'm new to this channel and I'm curious about a couple things if you're comfortable answering. How many alters do you have? And I've heard of dissociadid refer to an "inner world." I don't know if all DID people have one so if you do what is yours like?
Hiya! I'm actually doing a Q+A soon, so if you'd like I can mark these questions down for that! :)
@@TheRingsSystem Yes please! Thank you!
I love your explanation system pride day me and another system were trying to explain a switch. And we couldn't really explain it
Thanks for sharing you explained the process well 💖💜
I'm having sooo much trouble with amy.we have been trying for a while and only switched 2 times but for a minute or so. Please leave some tips. I've tried relaxing and sleeping but nothing has worked. Please leave some tipssss
I got a massive headache the last time I got co-con with an alter. But I just found out and I’m only now tracking it so it might be common
What if the idea of me being a system is something one or more alters is resistant or dismissive of? I'm not sure if this stuff applies to me but it feels like it could?
ive been getting those feelings for a while but i dont really know ive been having signs and some people even said i showed signs like my friends online when texting. ive tried to communicate to see if there are others and i think im kinda close to knowing if there is someone else i think i got his name and pronouns. thing is i feel i will act differently but i dont think i control myself to much im aware of what i do but its like idk what im doing in a way? or how im acting? ill get up and do something and just do it its just something that happens and ill get up to do something and wont remember what i was doing for some reason and feel different. i feel dissociative a lot too. i sometimes dont know who i am. and ive tried to make a headspace and stuff but i havent been able to and i know it takes a while. i feel i switch up my personality a lot like i want to be this way and that way and just feel im becoming that way without myself having control tbh. im to afraid to get much of help about this by a doctor which leaves me undiagnosed. which is why im trying to find things out myself. doctors kinda look down on minors and especially ones who are afab about that stuff here. because you know they will say its puberty, hormones, and if ur afab they will say its ur period. and my parents think its that too and that ill grow out of it. so i cant do anything about it. it makes me freak out sm.
This video helped me understand myself (and the two others :)) better, thank you
Coincidentally, me and Axel were switching while watching this video lMaO
-Ren
So-
Uh hi, I've beem struggling with stuff lately. Ive noticed that, over the years, I've like...ahh I don't know how to explain it.
When I was a kid, I'd play pretend and when I got in character, I got way into character. I was that character and the character was me. Sometimes, depending on who I'm around, my personality can change. I often have arguments and conversations with myself in my head, but the other voice is slightly deeper. Earlier I wanted to try something. I said the name Aaron over and over (it's a name I've always felt connected to) while visualizing pushing myself (Hannah) to the back of my mind. I got all tingly and slightly confused. I felt different. My voice was a bit deeper, and I actually wanted to get work done. Was...was that an alter? I've only experienced a few "big" traumas that I can remember, and they all seem to manifest themselves in either my dreams (i think especially from my friend banging on my bedroom window one morning) or in my intolerance to loud noises (two incidents with g/ns)
I dunno. Ive also got ADHD, anxiety, and a tic disorder if that adds anything. If anyone's got advice, I'd greatly appreciate it. :]
Hello!
It could be or it couldn't be - we really can't tell you, because we're not a professional.
However, we can recommend some resources - did-research.org , traumadissociation.com , and Amongst Ourselves: A Self-Help Guide to Living with Dissociative Identity Disorder by Tracy Alderman
Here's a question that I am curious on. Is it normal to start just aggressively shaking or feeling a strong sense of nervousness or anxiety when switching? Or when it's happening or as it's going through?
This is totally true! I’m really gracious that I’m not the only one who experiences co-fronting and instantaneous switches. Most of the time, when Maeko and Maximum switch, they’re either co-fronting together or switch instantly, because they mostly come out when I’m feeling really stressed. Crimson is the only one who really takes a while to switch, due to their role being different than Maeko and Maximum’s. Thank you for this video!
I’ve only switched twice, both were super short. It was painless, and I could feel it coming on, as although the alter did not ask permission, she gave signs that she was about to switch, so like, I could tell, although the warning signs were like right before it happened so I didn’t have much time to react T.T I switched in the bathtub, and I woke up, super confused, laying in my bed, fully clothed, barely any memory of inbwtween besides like 2 small blurry frames but that was it. Super scary. Second time was late at night, and I don’t remember much, other than collapsing on top of my device and then waking up in a completely new game hearing the alter that fronted apologizing because “she got bored in the game I was playing”. Although it sounds funny, it was honestly scary, both times.
Great video! That described switching perfectly tbh. Also, I See a Terezi.
People make fun of my fictive alters :( (They are from five nights at Freddy's/FNAF)
I’m sorry to hear that, sending love to y’all ❤️
The Rings System suddenly everyone likes them now😔 and people always bug me and say "can [insert alter] pleaseee come out" and as you obviously know it's not always a fun thing and they always glamourize my DID, and to make it worse my mom and my dad [people who caused the trauma] can't accept that they caused it and just ignore it or tell me it's fake
@@makolite I'm sorry to hear that too 😔 Sometimes it feels like you can't catch a break, either from getting teased or having other people be ~fascinated~ by you. I hope you guys can find spaces to exist in as yourselves and be treated with respect ❤️
aaaaAA watching this is so validating! :)
I’m so glad! ❤️
I just saw this and have to ask before forgetting, is it normal to have days where you switch a lot for no reason and then some days not at all? I feel like I fake sometimes because no one will be around and then one day everyone just shows up to say hi and I always see systems around me have pretty consistent switches.. Thanks for your help! - Jasmine
Yeah! We have that a lot too :)
Seeing you switch makes me feel much better about mine bc it always feels like I am not spacy/taking long enough even when they happen. Now I know that is kinda normal.
I would love to hear your experience about inner worlds. Your videos are super helpful, and i feel like it really explains a lot of what i deal with, but i have no concept of inner worlds. As a teenager i used to have lucid dreams almost every night, but i dont any more and i dont think i have an inner world. Thanks for any imput!
Thank you! We have inner world videos planned, but the short of it is that we didn't have an inner world either for a very long time, and ended up building our own :)
i think my mind is trolling me cause why did i watch this video once and then watch it like 10 minutes after as if i hadn't seen it
We had lond switches 2 times and it was really terrible experience! The body felt weakly, we needed to lie and be in a silence before it has ended... Soooo terrible...
I hope you don't mind me asking a question! When you were talking about how long it took for you guys to switch, you said it only took a few minutes and rarely ever had any sort of weird dissociate-y period. Has it always been that way for you guys or did it take work to get to that spot? Personally when we switch it can take hours or days and nobody is quite sure what's happening a lot of the time. We've (or at least some of us.) only been actively trying to establish communication for a few months now after a long denial period, so I'm wondering if switching is something that gets easier with time and communication?
Turns out we’re having more weird dissociaty long switches then we thought back then. But regardless, yeah switching is something that gets easier with time, trust, communication, and therapy :)
Great video! Thanks for being brave and opening up about it! When I switch, it feels like the room around me fades away and i feel very disconnected from reality and my surroundings for a minute or a few minutes. My alter is only 4
questioning system in need of help, i derealize or dissociate when just taking walks. i dont know whos fronting when i switch and i have no idea how to get into headspace to find out
Our two videos on "it's ok to not know who's fronting" and "identity-based grounding" should be helpful :)
What do you do when part of you wants to stop going to therapy? I don't know what to do.
I love this video but the terezi picture is stunning! pff.
Oop I've been called out!
Ring System, you are so helpful! Could you please consider making a video about how to approach discussing DID as a friend/loved-one of a system (between the external friend and that system)? I have someone very important to me, and I am 100% sure that he is DID system, but he doesn't yet express names for entities or discuss the DID experience overtly in any way. He DOES, however, refer to it very vaguely in a way that it could go over someone else's head if they wanted to be in denial about it. I have made enough equally vague comments (metaphorical, etc) that some parts of the system could pick up on the fact that I definitely know! Yet, still no overt conversation about it? I've been gentle and patient, and I will continue to do so. But, I could use some input!!!! My motivation isn't to speak overtly for my own sake, but for the sake of a healthy friendship/relationship... and to give permission for his system to feel that freedom. Make sense?
Yes it does! We could put it on our video list, but for short term, feel free to reach out to us on social media (check video description!)
Heyy! I got diagnosed with DID a couple of days ago and I've been trying to research as much as i can. I wanted to ask that is it possible to switch without disassociating? Does switching feels like you're viewing yourself from a third person's point of view or can the host fully be aware that they've switched and that they're acting in a way they shouldn't. And if they wanted to, can they can take control over the physical expressiveness of the alter and also first examine what the thoughts of the alters are before the host can implement them?
Please someone help me with this!
stay tuned in the next month for a new video on the subject haha
sometimes i wanted to switch because im in an uncomfortable situation but they're not around.. what should i do?
Coordinating switches is a learned skill! We recommend spending some time each day talking with your system, and building internal communication - and after awhile, in the moment you could ask if anyone would like to switch. Doesn't work all the time, and takes a lot of trust building and skill building, but it might help.
There's exactly the reason we don't want to be given names. If people know us by names they can decide they like some of us but not others and try to tell ones they don't like to go away and tell us who should be in front
How do I know and find out my alters I know I have my protective one
Stress triggers me I get headaches and dissociating
Do you get headaches ?
Yes we get headaches too :)
So, when you switch mostly you don't know you are, right? I am confused still if I am even switching or what is happening but I have felt this way so much and always just chucked it off to severe moodiness before my period!! The movies always make it seem like it's so quick and even some people on UA-cam seem to be Pros at turning it on and off! I never saw what happened to me that it could possibly be this but I will have horrible, throbbing headaches sometimes that have even awakened me up from a deep sleep and I will have those moments where I feel so totally numb and out of it and just empty and where I can't feel anything and it usually makes me feel super depressed!! I will even cry during those times for seemingly no reason!! I now am seeing there is a possible reason and my poor little Mona alter because that was my name at birth! I changed it to Lisa when I was adopted but I think a part of me will always be that tormented little girl who wants her mama and cries whenever she is alone and scared!! My husband has seen her come out!! She's still there yet I have no feeling of her!! I wish I knew her and I wish I knew all about everything that my birth mom allowed those sick nasty men to do to her!!!! 😔💔
Sometimes the alter knows who they are and feels grounded, but sometimes you can have really gross blurry periods with no idea who you are. A lot of what you're describing seems to be dissociation or related symptoms, and I'd recommend bringing this up with a professional if you can!
Is it normal if your vision isn't blurry? It's like I can see things normally but I know who I am during the switches?
Some folks might get blurry vision in switches, and others may not! It really depends on the system :)
My alter change to often when im down mad or depressed and its not good because my alter rayyan always harming me. =) Im only 18years old =) sometime i really mad at myself and say why me why i have this 'D
-Ara
Is it normal for one alter to almost always be co con?
yup! That can be totally normal for systems 💓
Is it normal for alters to ‘ignore’ the host?
I’m not sure if I (we?) have DID or OSDD-1b, but I think I’ve experienced a switch before (it was short, lasting a maximum 10 minutes?) and then switched back to the host.
Lately I’ve been trying to communicate with what I think is a male alter (I’m not sure of his role) but he won’t communicate back with me. Is it normal to be ignored? Or is he communicating with me in a way I’m not figuring out?
Sorry for the long question
Edit: I was aware of the switch when it was happening and felt in control of the body
Sometimes it's totally normal to be ignored! Or sometimes, internal communication is just hard, and takes a long time to build and get good at :)
The Rings System
Thanks for the reply! We’ve started communicating, he’s usually close to the front so it’s easier :)
This was really helpful and probably the best explanation I've heard so far! Thank you
Thank you! 💜
Sometimes I think I might have this disorder, but I don't fully knows how it works yet so I dont want to just say I do have it. But I feel like I have some of these things happen to me.
Or things happen when I slowly black out. Like one time I started texting someone a full message and a cropped image of a character I didn't crop previously.
Or a section of hair was about half an inch cut when I looked at it.
But the most noticeable was I was a really slightly conscious but half of me wasn't there. My parents thought I was on drugs but I answered all the questions correctly, but I didn't fully feel like I answered them, like as if someone else did for me.
But I'm not about to self diagnose myself, but if someone with it like yourself knows all the symptoms I trust you can partially tell who might have it, but I can be absolutely wrong
I would actually push back on your last sentence! You're a higher authority than we are about whether you have DID/OSDD or not. We're neither a therapist, nor know you even a fraction of well enough to give you advice on the subject. Self-diagnosis, on the other hand, is something that is completely valid. We were self-diagnosed for 3 years before getting a professional diagnosis.
Regardless, what you described does sound like dissociative symptomology of some sort, and I'd recommend looking into it further (either via therapist or research)
I'd recommend did-research.org and traumadissociation.com as starting points for learning more :)
@@TheRingsSystem thank you! I'll look into it more, and try getting a diagnoses ^^
My alters refuse to communicate with me or bond with me .. someone will say something about what I'm doing and we will argue about something else then I can't feel them anymore... Why won't they try to bond with me too?
I can't tell you why but I can advise that you have patience. It's hard adjusting to being a system, and they might be going through their own acceptance process or struggling with their own trauma. Keep being there and being open to them, and I'm sure they'll come around eventually ❤️ (+therapy is always helpful too!)
@@TheRingsSystem what if I can't get therapy ?
The rest of my message still stands even if you can't get therapy: Have patience for you(rselves) and treat you (and any alters) with kindness and love. It takes time to build relationships, whether they're external or internal! ❤️
I have a question, when it comes to osdd, I heard there can be no amnesia during the switches but does that mean someone else is controlling the body and you are still aware but can’t do anything or you are still in control of the body but due to the alter want to do things you wouldn’t normally do? Or does it vary from system to system?
Ok! So the second one ("still in control of the body but due to the alter want to do things you wouldn’t normally do") would be passive influence, which we just covered in a video. When someone else is fronting, you can either be aware while someone else is controlling the body, OR when you come back, you remember everything they did (even though you weren't there for it)
The Rings System oohh okay, thank you!
Can you switch personalities but still remember everything? I am curious because I do switch personalities but I remember what they do and what I do.
Edit: The only thing I don’t remember is Trauma. Did I have Trauma or not but I suppose you wouldn’t’t know that.
But I do have blanks when I am talking and I don’t remember some big or happy moments, or sometimes upsetting ones.
It might be helpful to check out our video on emotional amnesia! :)
The Rings System Thanks! I have told this on a channel that also talks about D.I.D and a person that watches it says that it is definitely not D.I.D.
Eek, but if I do have D.I.D I do not know any of them! Is their any way to meet them? The alters?
Btw, I hear voices in my head. One of them is practically a ghost alter ;-;
I experience very bad dissociation, but I don't necessarily know if I am a system or not. I identify with the body at all times, but there are definitely times where I feel and see myself acting/thinking strangely, and I have a lot of conflicting thoughts and feelings about everything. I guess the best example would be being interested in someone that I want to date, and other times I feel completely disgusted to the idea of being with the person. It's something that I've started realizing a lot more recently, but I don't have any amnesia. I just notice that I get really bad dissociation and sometimes feel weird/type weird/etc. Any input on this mess of words I put together would be very helpful to me, I'm still trying to figure things out.
Hello! I'm not a professional, and cannot diagnose you - only offer information and paths for you to look into yourself. I'd recommend reading over did-research.org, specifically their pages on DID vs OSDD, and traumadissociation.com
Our videos on DID vs OSDD-1b and emotional amnesia should be helpful to you as well.
That's also probably a dissociative experience, and I 100% recommend you talk to a therapist if you're able 💓
@@TheRingsSystem Thank you so much for the resources, I've been looking into it as much as I could recently, and I'm hoping to find a therapist that focuses on these things so I can get answers. I appreciate the response.
I hope you find one too! Good luck 💜
Hey I'm new to this disorder and intruded by it can you not have amnisa when you swich
Yes! I recommend watching our videos on emotional amnesia and OSDD-1b
I just experienced co-fronting for the first time consciously. I don't know what to do. It was terrifying. Even though I've known for a long time that I'm not alone within my body, it's the first it's become real. What can I do?
this video helped me a lot but i have 1 maybe kinda personal question, how many alters do you have?
40+! :) you can find our list of folks who want to be public in the about tab of our UA-cam channel
ive beentrying to figure out if i have did or not . i have multiple symptoms and have expeeienced these feelings as well . im talking to psychiatrists and whatnot now to make sure and get things set in stone . / is it possible to feel sort of nauseous after ' switching ' ? / gq
I have a question :
Can switching happen without an apparent trigger (negative or positive) ? Like, if someone else just wants to front to eat something or whatever ? Not for defense purposes or because of a trigger ?
Yeah! People can just switch, randomly, because they just want to or just because the brain decides it's a great time to make people switch
@@TheRingsSystem
OK, thank you very much !!
1:53 I have this a lot when I’m in school. I’m there but someone is making the choices with what to do for me. I only can step in when something dangerous/wrong happens to evade even more problems
How do you find out if you have did? I think I might but I cannot tell.. if I look up symptoms I remember having a few of them but then I start thinking "nah I'm probably just trying to have something that I dont have" is there any way to forsure know?
I had this one moment that I wasn't in my body but I was in my body watching my body do things that I would consider normal like washing the dishes, driving, eating, watching a movie. It would somehow feel like I was watching myself from my mind if that makes sense. I had no control of what I was doing but I could see it?
Does that make sense? It's hard to explain
Talking to a professional is a good way to go, and for that I’d recommend looking at my “red flags when searching for a therapist” video! :)
@@TheRingsSystem alright! I'll go find it thanks for the advice!!^.^
Yes, that makes sense and is a dissociative experience :)
@@TheRingsSystem so its not necessarily DID right?
Thank you for explaining this, we often go switch a lot. Because of all the trauma responses we’ve had in the past. And we have been in an identity crisis for three days now. And really can’t get out of it. Thanks a lot, moon,
Dude, dope Homestuck poster.
Thanks! She's been banished from our videos since then, haha.
How do you view your alters? Like friend's?
Friends and family :)
@@TheRingsSystem Oh i see! Thank you ☺
Thank you! Sometimes I think Im just crazy but this made sooo much sense!
Sorry if this questions worded wrong or if it's sensitive but with the sudden switching can that be normal for some people? The ones that just suddenly happen? Also thank you for reading
yes
is that a terezi poster?
(maybe oops)
we've since moved it to be more professional but people still spot it in the first couple recorded videos haha
As an artist I’m never aware of who’s in front until I draw something, they have very different skill levels that can indicate who’s been messing around with what while I wasn’t paying attention, I don’t like how chaotic they make it
This is so relatable.. the little in my system has a very different coloring style.. so if we’re working on a commission and he comes up front it can end in disaster 😭
Your video is awesome! I've been writing a novel about a man who fall in love with a DID afflicted woman and I find your video very helpful. My writing is still in Indonesian though. Anyway, wish you all good life!
Thank you! Good luck with the novel!