THE FINAL DAYS OF THE NARCISSISTIC RELATIONSHIP
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- Опубліковано 9 вер 2024
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I can only add, do not fall for the Hoover. After 4 years no contact I did. 2 weeks of text and calls with one final meeting. Now I’m back in reflection and watching these great videos day and night just like I did 4 years ago
😌😌💜🙏
This sounds like a relapse of overcoming alcoholism or drugs and then taking that one drink and having to start all over again. Please don’t do it again bc their not worth it and will waste your life away
I am the one who walked out nearly 2 weeks ago. I went completely no contact with him. I am starting to heal slowly, but I am healing. 4 years of Hellous abuse was all I could take. Thankful I got the courage to leave!
your not the first and certainly won't be the last stay strong!
I am a week out and the final days were like nothing else just like Andrew said. It was pure hell. I had gone back after a very convincing Hoover (deathly ill until he got me sucked back in)😩Please don’t accept a Hoover. It will only put you back in the ring for another round of abuse which gets worse each time.
I ended the relationship and blocked the narcissist completely. I still struggle with getting my head around all the lies that the narcissist told so effortlessly. So very unreal.
I'm in that Stage also. It will Take a Lot of time. Each and every day you discover new lies and your head won't Stop thinking.
Almost impossible to understand😢
Well done you are amazing
Stay strong. I had the same. Some woman came forward about being in relationship with my fiance from months.. It was shocking.. I kicked him out 1nov. Blocked on all social media. No contact. First week was mental.. Week 3th energy started shifting.. Its middle of December and im happy,positive.. Life looks good. Time will heal me. Im on good way. Stay strong❤
He told me he was dying of cancer. He isn't. Lots of other lies but that was the worst.
The last 3 months were full of coldness, devaluing, times of fake lovebombing, manipulation and gaslighting. It was awful. Out almost 3 months. No contact. It gets better newbies. Don’t ever go back, the abuse is worse.❤
emmarie, I can relate to that 100%.🌷💪❤️
the last months were brutal for me. He pushed me out so much but when I said I was leaving he acted surprised. more crazy making.
no contact is the only cure.
It’s 5 months for me and living in the basement as a roommate while she disappears for weeks on end with her new supply another toxic person
LEAVE!!!@@ricardocamara1602
People don't understand, that you don't deal with a human being.
You deal with entities!!!!!!!!
And.......no....we are not crazy!!!!
They are dangerous!!!!!!!
It's very human. There's no other species as despicable as us.
You Nailed it Seriously… entities…. And it actually is sooo weird , & downright scary & cruel.
Entities! That’s No Joke
🙋🙋🙋
Fact. They hv demons as well as their pathetic immature evil. Insidious fucking beyond punishment
I was loyal for over 3 decades, yet always felt alone. He didn't know who I was from a soul level, nor did he even care to try. Now, I know someone like that doesn't deserve me.
Sherry, hello, good to see you.🌺💕
@@jannlewandowski5540 💕and ✨️
Exactly
25 years for me. Better late than never as the saying goes!
I'm also at 30 years this March
Escaping from a narcissist, is like planning to escape from Alcatraz maximum-security. It took me 5 months. What 1 man can do; another man can do - you can do it ! You are a Champion 🥇🏆💪
Agreed. Took me 5 years.
Escaping from Alcatraz, fitting comparison. And I'm being serious here. You need to escape from the terrible narcissistic abuse. The thought of escaping is scary. But, the thought of freedom on the other side is a strong pull. I didn't know I was escaping narcissism. But I did know I was escaping pure evil. Lies, lies, lies. Nothing but lies. Smear campaigns. Constant contempt. I remember the last few months of my marriage. My ex would tell me on a daily basis how pretty his sisters were, and never mentioned my looks. No wife wants to be treated like that. I thought it was so weird for him to be so into his sisters' looks. Creepy actually. They were his flying monkeys/sibling narcs. Peas in a pod. They have all lost their cover through the years. No one in the neighborhood has any respect for them. It took many years for that to happen. But, it did happen. Some people call it karma, I call it reaping what you sow!
Do you ever really escape? It's been 2 years and he is still trying to punish me.
It took me about 3 years to escape and I didn’t manage to get all my children. I am watching from the sidelines seeing him destroy my older children
@@lyranorthernstar3802”children”-plural? Usually the mother gets the children by default.
I feel like I ecsaped HELL
You did! 👍
Blessings
🌈 🎀😘
Very accurate. Totally relate.
That's because you did, and you made it!!❤
113 days of NO CONTACT that I initiated.🎉
Way to go 👍👍👍
Blessings
🌈 🎀😘
jesusitrustinyou,
This IS the PATH.
It gets better and better and better.
Keep learning and reflecting and growing.
We must find the Courage to leave the table if Respect is no longer being served...
👍👍👍👍👍
Blessings 🌈
🎀😘
Love this
Yep❤️
Oh I have the courage just waiting on the finances.
Brilliant
This exit window is very, very dangerous. The second you show your hand that you are planning an escape, you are in potential danger.
Tell me about it it was an attempt on my life 😢
I didn't know how much danger I was in until months later. I just knew I had to get clear. Then I HAD to cut off all contact because of the manipulation.
Within 1 year of the day we got married, he left me 10 times to go on a drinking binge. 3 months into the marriage he gave his auto repair business to his son. That made me the sole supporter of both of us. Not possible. At the end of that year, after many, many rages, physical abuse, adultery, and abandonment, there was an argument over something that I cannot remember. He got so enraged and screamed at me so loud I couldn't believe it, spit on my furniture, and then said the words that put the final nail in his well-deserved coffin. He said, "I need to get the hell out of here before they arrest me for murder!" I picked up my keys, went to a friend's house, who took me to the police station to report this. Then I came back home, went to bed with the door closed. He was in the spare room. I could hear him cursing for hours. 6 a.m. the next morning he busted through my door, grabbed some clothes, and went to take a shower. I was so scared and heard the Holy Spirit tell me to get out of bed, get dressed and get out of the house. I drove to my friend's house again to compose myself. After about an hour I drove back to a school parking lot that faces the back of my house. It was pouring rain. I called him, told him about the police report I made the night before, and I wanted him out, NOW! He called me a piece of s..t, proceeded to open all my windows and patio doors so the rain would come in, and took off. As soon as I came home, after I saw him drive away, I called a locksmith and had all my locks changed. I changed the garage code. Texted him to be at my house the following Saturday at 7 in the morning to pick up his trash, and not a second before would I open the garage door. I piled everything on the garage floor, wall to wall, floor to 6 feet high. He showed up early, with all his buddies, I waited till 7 to open the door. Before he left, he dumped chemicals in my landscaping and slashed my screen door with a box cutter. The police did nothing about that. I filed for divorce a week later. He counter sued me for spousal support. Imagine that, but it was a moot point. A month later, we were done. For several years, he'd leave drunken, threatening voice mails until the police called him and threatened arrest if he didn't stop. That's when he stopped and I haven't heard a word from him, since. That was 9 years ago. Only thing I heard was he got arrested for punching a female police officer in the face and went to Cook County jail in Chicago. Revenge is sweet. I should have kicked him out months earlier, but I think I did a pretty good job of keeping him out once all was said and done. I love your videos, Andrew! Your words confirm what I've known about myself all along. I'm a strong woman only by the grace of my loving Father, who gave me the wisdom to know what and when to remove that cancerous entity from my life. The Lord will deal with him on judgment day and that's when justice will be meted out. Blessings to you and all who are entering, who are in, or who are getting out of a sick and twisted so-called relationship. YOU CAN DO THIS AND NOT ONLY SURVIVE, BUT THRIVE! I'm living proof, all by by the grace of God! Merry Christmas, everyone!
Oh you precious so so resilient courageous warrior for your ( my ) Jesus . Thank you for your story - it’s truly so parallel to mine , I re read your story a few times , only Jesus ( the Holy Spirit) could give us the supernatural strength and his protection to get you ( me ) us out of it 💔🙏- I always said to my Lord Jesus - thank you for literally plucking me out of the net , he ( my Lord said : ENOUGH DESTRUCTION- she ( me ) belongs to me , no more EVIL DEMONIC DESTRUCTION UPON HER - ( YOU KNOW MY WARRIOR COURAGEOUS SISTER OF THE LORD ) I’m so thankful you are alive and thriving , I’m getting getting there , I know my Jesus has me . Merry and so Blessed Christmas my dear 🫂🎄🙏😇👋🏻
I could feel my blood pressure rising just reading your entire comment.
Impossible not to have a better life after you got rid of that maniac. I can't believe he had "friends?"
They probably bought into his BS.
@jhavajoe3792 they sure did believe his b.s. one of them actually let him move in with him and bought him new clothes. They also allowed him to sit around and get drunk all day. I guess they finally got sick of him and threw him out. Thanks for your comment. Merry Christmas!
Its never easy...afraid of the fury and threats...always threatening ❤❤❤
Bravos 👏I’m still in my healing phase. We have to go through what we go through to get where we going. When it comes to the ex, I forgive him for me. He is with his owe kinds: Drug addicts, whatever available users bunch. He cried to mutual friends that: I am the best thing that ever happened to him! lol! Working on me is a full time job. I cannot change any body, these toxic people with their inflated egos cannot change. Stay Strong my brothers and sisters 👯♀ Anything is better than that! Peace is priceless. Namaste 🙏
3 weeks no contact today. The past two years I feel like were the end days of our “relationship.” I’ve never been treated so poorly by anyone. I honestly didn’t know what I had done to warrant being treated with so much hatred and contempt. He would not explain or even try to help me understand what was infuriating him SO much. I literally begged this person for basic human decency, for respect, for LOVE. Things no one should ever have to even ask for, and I begged, for months, years even. And he still denied me these basic things. No communication. No attempt at resolution with me. He treated me as though I were his enemy. Still to this day, I don’t understand what I did to deserve such cruelty. I would be hysterically crying, weeping, a puddle of misery, and he had this smug attitude. Totally indifferent toward me. No compassion. No empathy. Still kept jabbing me, raging, shouting, cursing at me. He would throw and punch things, break things, and then blame me for it all. As I’m being screamed at, I’m being told that I’m going to get the cops called, “then I’ll really be pissed!!” He said. I wasn’t shouting. I was in total shock. Trying to reason with him, trying to understand him.
My son and my grandpa had both passed away in less than 2 years of each other. He was not present during my grief for either one. He did not show up for me at all. He’d kept so many secrets from me, lies, substance abuse, porn, talking to other women, telling his coworkers I was his ex, his neighbors were told I was his ex, he was doing favors for other women, for free, fixing things for them, creating this “nice guy” handy man, helpful, thoughtful guy facade. He fooled me in the beginning. I fell for it. I thought he was great. Never in a million years would I have guessed that he would turn into this monster. He never desired true connection, intimacy resolution, trust or love with me…I’m now learning that the person I’ve been fighting for this entire time, was never a real person. They didn’t exist. That person was a mask he wore to manipulate me and get me where he wanted me. I’ve been desperately fighting to have that man back. Where did he go? This person I know now is polar opposite from the man he presented himself to be.
He says he loves and cares for me, but then treats me with so much anger and hatred. The two can’t coincide. You can’t genuinely love and care for someone, while also treating them with cruelty and contempt.
As horribly as he’s treated me, I still loved and respected him. I still wanted to make the relationship work. I still wanted to try with him. Why wasn’t I given the same? What had I done that was so terrible that he was just done with me? Just hated me? I kept this relationship alive with the hope that I clung to. I never gave up hope. Despite all of his abuse, I STILL hoped. I still loved him. At one pint though, enough abuse is enough. He has been neglecting and abusing me for years. It’s taken an immense toll on my physical and mental health. This is one of the most difficult experiences I’ve ever endured. I will not ever be the same. I’m fighting to find my innocence again, my joy and my faith in humanity again…. It feels hopeless now. But these videos do help to validate what I’m experiencing and bring an awareness to it. It’s so sad that this is such a common thing. I had no idea.
😌😌🙏💯
❤
… your innocence is gone . Not necessarily a bad thing . now you can protect yourself- love and joy are still out there … find some … and maybe a cat ?
Thank you so much for sharing. Sharing IS caring. Your dark days have encouraged me to turn my lights back on!! Wish me luck. Freedom is precious I just need to believe that the end is truly a beginning! Hugsss Buttercup ❤
My heart goes out to you. Pray, let God know that you need him, he will answer.❤
The last few days have been incredibly emotionally draining.
I left him.
I had a suitcase, a plane ticket and an Airbnb room for two weeks. I returned from Asia to Europe. I thought, I was going to collapse, but I did it.
He knew I was leaving, I told him.
There wasn't much of a reaction ( after 20 years of marriage)
Now I know why!!
Thank you so much Andrew, you helped me to go through this. ❤🙏
You are so brave!❤
OMG- your story gave me goosebumps!!!! I hope you are safe!!! You are an amazing human being. I had him served today and I have been so nervous. I read your story and you inspired me. Thank you. Keep posting . We all want to hear how you are doing.
lios, I understand
Love u, prayers for your strength, stay from him, prayers for me to get released from mine too
STAY STRONG
Hi Andrew. I planned on leaving him in his car, so i met him in a well lit shopping center and told him i would do anything to get rid of him. I never heard of a narcissist. I thought he was GREEDY and mean. OMG, when my Therapist told me the danger i was in, i couldn't believe it. That's why I was saying WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS, WE WON. To all those narcissist free, we got away. GREAT TOPIC ANDREW..❤❤
Good Lord, there was a time I never would have believed it of him, for all his other bad behavior, but there it was at the end. 😮
@@cc1k435 I hear ya! 👍
You are very very brave!!!
. I didn't know he was a narcissist
@@jannlewandowski5540 Your gut feeling told you to be safe when you did it. That all that matters. The diagnosis came later. But your gut feeling told you to be safe.
Sometimes the diagnosis makes us more scared. I had him served yesterday after 26 years of marriage. We are separated . I am so used to calmness. It’s stressful thinking of ever having to hear yelling or screaming again.
They DEFINITELY think what’s YOURS should be THEIRS! 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
💯💯💯
Oh,100%!!
What's really scary is when the narcissist is such a successful manipulator that he/she asks you to "come over here" in the most angelic voice you have ever heard to lure you into a situation where they intend to end your time on this earth.
Werewolves!
Yikes!😮
My narcasister !!😮..
Yes 👍 you described it
My narc ignored me for 2-3 years and finally discarded me for a 40 year old gold digger (he is 75) in November and wants a divorce asap. He came back in the house and said "I thought you would be dead with pills"
Im suddenly afraid and changed my locks
Andrew, I really do appreciate your videos. The final days of my old life as a people pleaser consisted of:
Three physical fights, two smear campaigns, a lawyer on retainer, several calls to the police, eight flying monkeys, and a christmas tree on a front lawn.
These types of people want to distract you from your dreams, and keep you discouraged. Find your true self once again by putting on your special xray glasses, learn to be alone. When your alone at least your with people you trust, and can think clearly. They want to keep you distracted and kept in an anxiety riddled state, break free find your dreams and change the locks.
Nobody is worth your demise of health and mind,; "I refuse to be a receptecal for your internal chaos" .
I'd like to hear more about how to you use these special x-ray glasses, as I have worn rose colored glasses for far too long
Delete social media accounts, and stop checking in, and chasing after people. Myself I wondered if I stopped putting all the work into my relationships, who would be left. Do not take any insults, or backdoor comments. They are terrified little minds of perpetual children. Jen your an 80's child, well we grew up with zero online presence; and it was better than ok. Try to find your way back to solid ground. If you stopped checking in and doing all the work in a one-sided relationship, who would be left? Just do your own experiment this holiday season. @@JenJen-80sbaby
@marylytle7888wow!👏👏👏 great one.
Silent treatment was being offered to me, and I was led by Holy Spirit to make it a permanent silence by way of my removal. “Your silence is the only way moving forward after-that!!” Basically left with only the shirt on my back. Pray for me, because I will remain free. It’s truly Good vs. Evil 💯. Heal with Jesus… meaning to pray, try to live righteously, and read your bible a lot to spend time with Him. ❤
Amen my dear , amen to that 🙏❤️
These Narcissists usually join forces with like-minded psychopaths, including their enablers. and flying monkeys.
It is an insidious cycle and fortunately through my Spiritual Discernment, a lot of red flags were revealed over the past year.
Religion is poison.
I pray God's people and other good people come to your aid. We are called to help others and be helped. You are essentially a widow for the time being. Don't go back - it will be harder to get out. Go forward no matter if you have the comforts you once had or not, go forward. Don't gossip about him, don't complain about him, forgive otherwise we walk in Satan's darkness, being blind and deceived.... We are called to The Light!
It has been 10 years since I ended the narcissist. I thought it was over. My dad passed away one year ago.
Her father passed away and she contacted me. I knew she was trying to use this as a way to get back in.
I expressed my condolences and asked her not to call me ever.again. I hung up that phone finally realizing her control was truly over. I was free, it felt awesome.
Came home to empty house after visiting my dying mother in hospital, everything was gone including my child , he had moved in w a girlfriend w our child after i moved hundreds of miles for him . He had everything lined up to cause most amount of destruction to me when my mom was dying . Very dark time Thank you Andrew for the wisdom
Now he is one person that i would do everything possible to get even ,Good luck they are basically thieves,❤❤
At first it's hard to believe that someone you married wants to take everything you have because they're jealous of you. Then we learn that narcissists are very dangerous. They do not want what's best for us. They want what's best for them. Thank you Andrew for sharing your strength.
My God. This man just broke down my entire 5 year relationship with a narcissist. Depleted my mind, soul, energy, finances, self worth, friends, family and self esteem. All while we were placed in a “fog” and, at the time, had no idea wtf was happening. Yes, we all knew the relationship was “off” and “different” but they would always reel us back in. A constant devaluation, silent treatment, love bomb, rinse and repeat.
I left my narc marriage 4 months ago. Heavily bruised and severely damaged , depressed and anxiety ridden. I have since gone into treatment with TMS and ketamine to allow my brain to start healing. I couldn’t do it on my own. I was left for dead mentally, financially and spiritually.
Don’t let these people win. It’s a hard journey out, especially for us empaths. 45 M, and a one time alpha, it happened to me.
I will rise again.
Thank you for sharing..🙏😌💯
Here's my story about the end...when I met this man I did not know about Narcissism or gangstalking. I thought he was the love of my life...and in Andrews previous videos, I was told that I was all that and a bag of chips. 😂 yes, we had puppies and rainbows. I ignored red flags throughout the 5 year relationship. At the end, we were supposed to get married. I was also supposed to move out of state. He Ghosted me after I bought his wedding ring and my dress. Shoes etc...even returned my letters in the mail unopened return to sender.
I am grateful that I have learned about Narcassism, did not move out of state and did not marry this man!
You dodged a bullet!👌🏻
Lucky!
So sorry. How painful. Hugs
You definitely dodged a Bullet..thank God..
I discarded the narcissist after he stopped responding to text messages and breadcrumbed me. The entanglement was slowly crushing my soul. I knew there was something insidious going on behind the scene. My intuition was screaming at me. I really don’t know how I had the guts to do it. My health has tanked to a low point and I knew I wasn’t going to survive if I didn’t save myself. I didn’t know what exactly a narcissist was at the time but thank God I jumped out and salvaged my tattered soul. Ten months NC. Hardest thing ever. I still have bad days but still better than being tortured daily. I pray for all of us 💕
Same happened to me its insidious they no we love them and torture us for it.Well done,I'm 4months out no contact and he's not tried to hoover me
I felt like I have lived a life of "escape". Not knowing of narcissists but under their brainwash.
Be encouraged!
The answer is within you!
Carol, how true! ❤️🌺🖐
me tto a live of escape
Yes❤❤❤
YES
As you mentioned, the last days before the discard, I knew something wasn't right. We went to Columbia for my birthday and took no photos together. Keep in mind, at this point, I was aware my wife was a narcissist and wanted to appear single. The day after we came back, I was released from my job. A month later, she filed for divorce. By the grace of God, I was able to secure another position and hire an attorney, and I can't wait until this is over.
The final days of the Narcissist was vicious, overwhelming, financial burden and confusion. It was nothing but a nightmare. Everything you said is spot on.
The days for me I watched him cycle rapidly from a few love booming sentences to devaluing comments all with rapid succession. He looked unhinged , disconnected from reality. I was completely turned off by it. I realized that it was me who no longer loved him. A little voice inside said just walk out. Go home. So I left. He followed me telling me how much he loved me. I just said I had a stomach ache and that I’d call him later. I got home and blocked him. I no longer wanted him. I now know what he is . I didn’t at that time.
The final days of my narcissistic abusive relationship were the absolute worst... I worked overnight, handling heavy freight and stocking shelves, and he made it impossible to sleep unless he was passed out in his room intoxicated. The verbal abuse and the physical abuse ramped up,becoming more violent with every passing day. I could barely swallow food and often tossed my cookies because the stress was making me sick but I was expected to be silent and I learned that if I tried to talk to him about my feelings and the way he was treating me he would gaslight me, or become enraged and attack me as I was walking away from him. Once he even tried to force me over the chain link fince surrounding the yard at the house we were renting. The fence that was at the backyard was located over a high embankment. At the bottom was a parking lot for a business on the main highway that ran through the business district of the city. When he was trying to force me over the fence, which would have resulted in my being severely injured or killed, I was begging him to stop and screaming in fear. I raised my eyes from the pavement below and across the highway at the black bear reasurant, in the parking lot was a black and white police cruisers. To this day, I have no clue what set him off that day, but it was like he was silently brooding one moment and the next try to throw me over the fence and propel me to my death. And as I was screaming, I had no way of knowing if the police officer was in the cruiser or inside the restaurant? Not until the cruiser began to peel out of the parking lot, lights flashing, two black and white cruisers flying past closing in behind the first one. I saw them turning onto the street that ran parallel to the houses next door... that's when I knew they were headed to where we were. The narc saw them too and released me. He immediately changed his behavior into a docile, contrite, demeanor and was so apologetic...not to me, but to the officer's. He also played the victim and told them that he had lost his job...blah, blah, blah.... they tried to talk to him and offered him resources to get help and he promised them that he would, which was a big fat lie, he refused to get help from the get-go every time he abused me, pretending to be sorry, promised to get help, but didn't follow through, just to repeat the cycle of abuse every opportunity he could. The police left after they determined that I would be safe when they left. Of course, I wasn't safe, and he accused me of calling the cops on him, not once taking accountability for his violent actions attracting the officer who witnessed the attack in the first place...in my opinion, I think that domestic abuse laws need to be amended, because essentially, when the attacker begins their violent beating, they have the intention to do harm and most importantly the intention to commit murder. Instead of offering the perpetrator the option to seek help, I think that they should be arrested for assault or possibly attempted murder with the same harsh penalties associated with those crimes, regardless of whether the victim presses charges or not, primarily because the victim is not in a good place emotionally and cannot make a wise decision on their own behalf in order to protect themselves and gain their freedom from the abusive relationship which is the BEST thing for the victim... it was terrifying to for me to break free from him, but it was as terrifying to stay in the hellish nightmare of the toxic narcissistic alcoholic and drug addicted animalistic monstrous relationship...graphic? Yes, but it is what happened a week before he attempted to murder me again, and I cannot sugar coat it... I have lived in silence for far too long. I only hope that breaking the silence helps to change things for others so that they can either avoid or walk away before they go through as horrible experiences as I have or worse... by the grace of God and the warrior angel he sent to clear my path to escape I would not be here to share my testimony. To God be the glory! 😊❤✝️✌️🙏🫶
So brave of you to share...Thank you Mary.
Thank God you are safe & turning your story to help others.
I've said this before, you're Gods jewel &...ours as well!!!
Blessings 🌈 🎀😘
I would like to echo what Marie has said. I also, thank you for sharing your story and experience Mary. It does help others and I am glad you are not silenced anymore and that you are free. Those would have been horrific circumstances to be in and you survived it. Bless you ❤❤❤🌹🌹🌹
I agree with you completely, that they should be arrested for attempted murder ❗❗❗❗
Thank God you are alive!!!
Oh you precious Angel still here on this earth . Your story is ( was ) mine , I wish I could meet you , but I know that I know - we will know and be together in heaven / you are MY SISTER- Jesus saved us - snd I agree and know he sent me an army of angels to make the way , just as he did for you , just know I appreciate and respect and love you my dear lady , we keep our eyes on our Lord Jesus - we are his princesses and he is our king 🙏😇🫂👋🏻
It wa by far the most dangerous time, I was terrified. Poker face while I planned my escape and dissapearance.
I can relate so much. Make everything seem normal....so he doesn't find out the plan...no facial cues... don't say the wrong thing. Horrible.
Hope you're in a good place now.
The last days were hard. I was numb and in the dark cloud of being unable to make a decision.
I was having a conversation with my spouse and she pretty much said there aren't any changes she wanted to make to continue the relationship.
Told her I was done.
My warning is, once you're done you're done. Don't try and backtrack don't let memories keep you from moving forward. Cause if you turn around for an instant that person you once loved will try to burn you in some way.
So true I mustn't let memories hold me back
The final days were like someone in the final days of their prison sentence. It was agonizing but sweet freedom was on the horizon. The only difference is that the prisoner knows ahead of time when their release date is. One sunny day I decided I wouldn't serve my sentence any longer and suddenly made the decision to make my jail break from the narc prison. I've remained a fugitive ever since eluding capture by no contact, blocking, not falling for creative hoover attempts, avoiding flying monkeys, etc. That's right...can't catch the empath on the loose.
Good example. I felt that way. Like escape from Alcatraz.
I just copied and pasted your comment on my sticky note app, on my desktop. thank you.
@@julianyc422 you're welcome...I hope it helps.
Hooray!!!🎉
I’m in the final days of being ready to parole myself from my personal 26 year sentence. I really needed this laugh. Too true and so funny. Glad you left with your wits 🙌🏼
The Final Days! He started blaming me for things that never happened, he told me he was mad about things he laughed at from two years ago, he became angrier because I no longer asked questions etc. He pushed me so far; I just couldn't do it anymore. I told him I was taking his advice and moving on and he lost his mind. Thank God I left.
I didn't know what narcissism was back then. 10 years of marriage. I planned to leave off and on towards the end and finally found the strength to do it. I was so beat down psychologically, spiritually, emotionally and physically that in the beginning, leaving was just as hard as staying. A narc is an evil leach, user and abuser. You name it, they'll take it and in their mind own it. Just like they think they own you. I was so desperate, I left with my car and my clothes. I left him everything. Starting over isn't easy but it will save your life. Being with a narc isn't living. It's existing. You have the key to the prison, you just don't know it bc you've been brainwashed and beaten down. Open the prison gate. There is so much beauty and love waiting for you! You can and will heal! You will learn to love and respect yourself again! Sending prayers, positive healing energy to everyone ❤️🙌✨💫🌞
Did you have children together and if you did how did you do it. Just curious. I’m in your shoes. Married 30 years and know I’m in a toxic relationship
@@donnaramer8644 Hi Donna, I'm sorry you're going through this. We didn't have children together. It was the 2nd marriage for both of us. We both had 1 child from our first marriages but they were grown. When I finally left the X-narc husband, I had to move into my mom's house and start a new life from there. I hope and pray that you'll find the answers you need. I know you will! Keep believing in yourself and never give up. You are so worth it! 💖🙌🙏💯
Going back to 1986, the big discard, all these years trying to understand why I was left, what did I do wrong? He was my high school sweetheart, I was 16 and he was 18 in 1976. He said he would always take care of me...fast forward to 1986, yes, I knew he was getting weird drinking, drugs, gambling, hating people in general, laughing at disabled and calling everyone dicks...I had left him twice before 1986..but as I was the housewife I had no money and two small children...but one day, he started working later, started drinking lots more to blackout stages, and started condescending me more....that I needed to wear more makeup (although I stopped wearing it because that is what he wanted previously) and to stop wearing granola girl clothes (I learned to be an outdoor woman for him)....and really hurt me badly. Fast forward 2 months later, he disappeared for 4 days...and was reported by a relative as being spotted in Lake Tahoe with a woman. Yes, he discarded me for her, someone who was just like him, she was 17 and immancipated minor...married too. Together, they created a life and it included monetarily trying to decimate me, abandoning the kids, parental alienation when he finally started seeing the kids....everything you have spoken of. All these years, I mean all of them....35 yrs? I continue to ask myself, WHY? I was the best I could be and changed my whole life for him....I made sure I was his best friend, it wasnt good enough. He continued to lose this second wife and alienated her to their daughter...and so on.....THANK YOU so much for your sharing...you have helped me put this to bed...and my eldest daughter is exactly like him....she hates me, and now I know why. I was never mean to her and gave everything I had to her....but now, you have allowed me to start healing. THANK YOU and GOD BLESS YOU
The higher power had to take me out, thanks to the 12 step love addict program and videos like this! I had an awakening and was pulled out of my relationship and saved!
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It's true there is something "off" about the relationship all along, but it sure helps to have the words to describe it. A game changer, for sure, in a world where narcissistic behavior is common and not called out often enough for people to know it when they see it. ❤
Facts!
When you get ready to leave cancel the credit cards and get new ones that don’t have his name. Also get a PIN code for extra security that he can’t guess. Remember he knows your mother’s maiden name and the high school you attended etc.
I missed one card and just found a huge charge on it.
Great advice, thank you!
I left before he destroyed my spirit. He had everything else. I left with just a suitcase. My friends rescued me before he murdered me. Yes real murder. After everything. Horrible vile and evil. True evil. Absolutely everything you said is true. He destroyed my life now I'm disabled because of very high levels of cortisol over a very long period of time. God bless you for your videos.
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Me too.
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Same here those high levels of cortisol I tried to do a lot of hot saunas with cold showers and it helps taking lots of supplements to heal still having a lot of strange pains digestive issues some days hard to walk and even bend over it's crazy to think what we put ourselves through in this relationship and how they walk off scot-free ready to go to the next one
Yes I'm going through this with the cortisol as well man if we only would have known from the beginning what this was and what it would do before your caught in the cycle hope you're getting better every day in every way God bless
The Narcissist can’t love you and they don’t care if you drop dead. They simply don’t care. If you are a newbie write this down. It is true. I have thousands of examples.
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Sadly very sadly despite your commitments and energy and time invested your words are absolutely true and it really hurts for a long time. But I survived he left a hell of a mess for me to clear up with no thought other than for himself which I have to sort so it's not over yet after nearly 3 yrs of leaving. I was well off before now I have virtually nothing great way to spend retirement. But I'm free of his hold and know him for the devil he really serves.
100% True. Pretending they do care is the cosmic crime.
Yes. They leave you for dead.
Very well said my friend! The final days for me were the hardest. I would get anxiety attacks when I heard her car pull into the driveway. I was made to feel unwelcome in my own home, the most hated person in the world! When I discovered her infidelity all hell broke loose! Her reasoning was because I was atrocious to her! I left and never looked back! 4 and a half years no contact so far, when I start to feel lonely I remind myself of all the hell I’ve been through! Yeah,solitude is a good thing! I’m remembering who I am! Namasta my friend!
She cheated on you and she told you it was your mistake. That pretty much sums up a narc. Sorry you had to go through this. I am in the process of removing myself from my narc ex-wife. Similary story.
Prayers for you, praying an honest good friend in your life
5-1/2 year relationship. I can't believe I lasted that long. We were supposed to get married but he kept putting it off. I even moved across the country with him. What was I thinking? I was thinking we were going to build a life together. If I am honest with myself, the discard was happening months before, probably from the first day, but what ticked the whole thing off was he took me to his company Christmas party and spent the entire time with another woman. He didn't even sit at the same table where I was sitting during dinner. Long story short, the beans got spilled that evening he was having an affair with someone in his office who was married and I knew them both, but it was a different woman from the one he had the affair with he was sitting with. Crazy, right? I felt that night I had to recognize I had become gum on his shoe. I was the enemy. The next day I was crying and said to him I can't live like this anymore, and he wiped his hands together and said, "ok, done deal." Next thing I know he's paying to have me move out. A tell-tale sign you're dealing with a narcissist is when they devalue and disrespect you in front of other people. That had been going on for many months leading up to the discard. I don't have a good answer as to why I tolerated that behavior, other than I felt I had made a commitment to make it work. tbh I am relieved I did not marry him and have his children.
You had a lucky escape.Youve got no baggage,so heal and find the love of your life xxx
Took me awhile to finally look all the way back 20 years but now it all makes since
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My daughter asked me if i knew what a Narcissist was. This was my light bulb moment.
The last week before i left...he asked for a divorce and said he didn't love me then wanted to take me away to the woods where we use to take our kids camping. In the middle of nowhere and he said he was gonna take his guns. I got scared and packed my van that Thursday night while he was at work and left. No note. I only took the money i needed and left him enough to pay the bills. I had a $50,000 life insurance policy and 2 months after i left i found out that he had a girlfriend of 2 months.
I am pretty sure he had a plan to kill me. 😱 I cancelled my life insurance policy the next day. This was the 7th and final time that I left. Been free of this monster for over 5 years now. Thriving and at peace now. Thank you for your wisdom, Andrew. 😍😊🤗
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Been 4 months after throwing him out I can now clearly see how horrible my life with him truly was. I did love him I still do love him and he’s living with his mother and he has health problems now but I will never ever take him back. Not ever! It’s confusing to both love and hate him but after 48 years of marriage I’m done. Everybody says don’t throw away 48 years but I see it as not throwing away what’s left of my life.
"Everybody" says this and says that, but they never had to live with that partner. Nothing wrong with continuing to
love at a distance. For some, a large distance ... I'm talking about seeing the ex from a satellite cam with them on the South Pole.
Darn shoo.that is a long time. My HS sweet heart came back I my life after 46 years,14 months of pure hell. I did not know people like her existed.what a horrible memory.the sad thing is she is the only person I ever loved with my whole heart, I cannot believe how cruel I was treated.gl to you.
Took me almost two years to get the courage to finally end the relationship, had been in it for much longer. The last phase of the relationship felt like I was living in a fog. I planned my exit for a long time. People called me all kinds of names because one day I just walked out of the door and never looked back. I don't care. The fog lifted and I could finally breathe again. There has not been a single day where I doubted my decision. Please people, listen to your gut! You are not crazy. You are not hysterical or overreacting. There is a reason why your body and mind is on alert around some people. You are worth all the peace and self love❤ (Sorry for my bad English, not a native speaker.)
The Narcissist accelerated his swearing and his devaluation until I could no longer take it. I told him to leave and then he told everyone what a terrible person I was!!
Death by a thousand cuts is right, they'll help you heal up too so they can cut same place over and over! So you threw out the trash and he smeared you, it'll pass, it's like some weird punishment smearing us, be glad you're free, cut your losses count your blessings, congrats, imagine having to have had kids with him? What a nightmare!
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I had that happen in our 25yr.hellish marriage #1. I found out he had a mistress & others woman during the marriage #2 he smeared me to everyone in our business circle and friends & other relationships when it was him all along who was lying & cheating. Our two children suffered on many levels. I divorced him. He was furious that I refused to be his Emotional, Physical punching bag. Too bad, I moved 2,500 miles away on a job transfer. The children wanted to stay with him and the $$$$ it was not a fair divorce but I wanted away from him. He turned our children against me. I took many losses to be Free. He tried to Hoover but got his arm caught in the glass turning g door at the airport in Honolulu, bringing our Daughter with him. He ripped his arm to pieces and after getting medical help he & Daughter went back to San Diego. He said he was hard on women. I refused to comment to him. Nothing worked with his hoover.I pray Empaths Refuse Hoovers.🌿🙏🌿⚘️
@@vickipacheco9787 OMG. What an amazing story of strength and resilience on your part. You did the absolutely right thing and you sacrificed so much in the process.
I had an awful but familiar hollow feeling in my gut the final week. He was avoiding me, my phone calls and texts. When we did talk he barely said he loved me. I told a good friend that something felt off with him.
Yep, sounds about right
@@Dragonlady-gi7pfily maybe 20 years ago can't remember
There was a lot of drama, confusion and he was avoiding me. At the same time i was telling him my observations of his behaviour and i hit the nail on my suspicions. So he knew i had figured him out, and i guess there was no return because i wasn't letting him get away with anything. I was demanding answers.
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I refused to move in with him. I only visited him on weekends. He couldn't get the full control he wanted.
I left a narcissist and felt a considerable anxiety the last few days before. He was prone to aggressive and violent outbursts when confronted with any type of conflict. When I told this dude I was leaving the household, I had another person present for security. You could literally see the RAGE on it’s face when I spoke. The “black eyes” as has been said. It can be scary … but they can be confronted , they are ultimately massive cowards.
Same here. They are all tbe same. Demons!
The narcissist's smear campaign ended my relationship with most of my family. The worst part is that nobody will admit it. The few times I have been around them, nobody will look me in the eye. My brother feeds me nonsense about how everyone is just too busy for me now. There are only three family members who saw through my ex wife and all of them are also now ignored by the rest of the family. The family who ignores me all just happened to have no time for me, or anybody sympathetic to my side, beginning literally on the day my ex wife left me. I don't follow people or stick my nose where it isn't wanted so I have no way to know for sure, but I strongly suspect the main reason we are all ignored is that my ex wife is still very much a part of most of my family's lives. Her smear campaign was so successful she essentially replaced me within my own family.
It's so hard to understand why people accept outright slander and smears without question. Without even attempting to verify or ask you about it.
It's so painful when it's your whole family. I have come to the conclusion that they are weak and basically not good people because good people would not discard you so easily if you actually meant something to them. They deserve each other, and good riddance.
You begin to understand that the kind of relationship you thought you had with these people is based on wishful thinking and thinking that of course they must feel about you the same way you feel about them, but it isn't necessarily true. And as you go back with some perspective you can see signs of this, where you gave them the benefit of the doubt, etc.
Which they can't do for you, and it's just sad.
@@nettwench Thanks for the reply. I feel as if a trial happened to me with no forewarning on my part that the trial was even occurring.
Hit the nail on the head again. I left after a long searies of being abused. I planned my exit over a month. Got a bus ticket that I booked a few weeks before with the hope that maybe she will change and I would be out just a few bucks. it took alot to stick to my decision, I was so beatdown and had so much fear of could I make it on my own. It really was scary while I sat on the bus feeling oh so alone an in doubt. Ileft quietly at $ am, quietly opening an closing the door hoping the dog net door would not bark and she would not wake up to go to the bathroom as she usually did. I felt like a thief leaving my own house. To tell youu how hard this was and how messed up I felt, is hard to put into words. It ttook alot, I mean alot of what Andrew speaks about for me to get through this. So many times I wanted to pick up the phone and call.Now I am so, so glad I found the courage with Andrews help to stay the course. I am telling you, this can be the best decision you ever mase in your life! Never thought I would see the day when I would be sharing this with anyone. I truely, truely hope this benefits someone. It comes from my soul!!
Thank you , you are one beautiful so courageous soul , I love and am so in agreement with you regarding the pain is soooo deep and how it all un folded and it would take hours upon hours if we all got to just chat away , I will keep you in my prayers , never ever forget : Jesus loves loves you more than anyone ever could or will , he was and will always be your best friend ( he does stick closer than a brother ) and protector , you take good loving care of YOU , goodnight snd know our dear Lord Jesus sees you and is sooo well pleased with you . 😇👋🏻🎄
God bless you - I also want to tell you that Jesus loves you and you are worth everything to Him. Don’t let that relationship define you in any way.
What an uplifting comment. Good for you for starting a business. Awsome.!!@@janetgd
@@janetgd thank you so very much / you said that so beautifully and you do get it / thank you my Lord Jesus for my dear friend out there - you made my heart smile / there is always hope : HOLD ON PAIN ENDS ( h is for hope , o is for on , p is for pain and e is for ends , may God Bless you for Blessing me . 🙏🫂❤️👋🏻
Dark brooding, hate filled eyes, financial squeeze, alienated everyone in sight . When i said enough and got a lawyer well then the fight was really on . Lost the food money, the house, had to move out if state as we lived in a pricey area. I’d just graduated with a Masters degree and was at an unpaid internship. So the career ended there. Fled with 5 kids. Worth my weight in gold to get Away !
Thank you!
My narc dumped me at Christmas and I was so shocked and emotionally exhausted I fell apart for a while. But I had the self preserving instinct to go full non contact so when he tried to worm his way back into my life it gave me great pleasure to blank him which I knew infuriated him. It was my revenge after several years of hell. We have not seen or spoken to each other to this day, thank God.
Thanksgiving here
Also Christmas, this year. Actually a good 🎁 in disguise.
Whats interesting is that all the Narc's in my life never discarded me, it was me who walked away which made it so much easier.
The relationship with my narcissistic mom and narcissistic sister were the worst days of my life. I got away physically moving 1,000 miles away. But in 1993 I still had no idea of narcissism. Finally my mom died in 2003. Relief! The physical barrier of lots of miles between us helped me. She was wicked behind closed doors and jealous of me and a social charmer in public. Geez I hope I don’t get another xmas card from my sister. She’s 1,000 miles away too. I cut her off in 1/2016. She doesn’t know I cut her and I owe her no explanation. I feel free peaceful. I ask God everyday to heal my wounds. I also asked God for me to never see my sister & mother in the afterlife. I believe in heaven & hell. I ask God for a new family that’s healthy loving respectful etc.
My mom was a bully, just a few months ago I found out she was a narc. She died 4 years ago. I had such a sense of freedom. I was able to talk with my dad on the phone and not have to deal with her crap. No more trying to make myself buy a mothers day card, always picking one that was funny. At her funeral, one of her friends was just singing praises about mom. I wanted to scream, I wanted to know why this friend was treated so great and I was kicked down. Regardless, I am free & happy
This explains my entire 15 year marriage. There was DV with myself and our children, orders for protection, walking on eggshells and so much screaming.
I planned. I saved.
We left.
It has been a year of lawyers, court dates, orders for protection, toxicity into four generations of my family.
I'm currently active in teaching my attorney about narcissism in an effort to reach the end of my divorce.
Bless you all ❤
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I knew something was "very wrong" in those last days of the relationship. At the same time waiting for shoulder surgery. Discarded day of surgery, left at the hospital without help or a way home. Could barely think or understand what had just happened. The worse time of my life! Free now and grateful for the discard. Blessings!❤❤
Wow! Amazing recovery!🎉
I just had him served with divorce papers last night. 27 years of marriage, 1 and a half apart. I am finally used to peace and quiet. I am so worried about his reaction when he sees that the money train is over.
Hey Lourdes🌷💕💪
Thank God he helps us through!
Blessings 🌈
🎀😘
@@jannlewandowski5540 Hello! Wishing you the best Holidays - Christmas ever! Hope all your wishes and dreams come true! ❤❤
The last argument after church service .she started unnecessary argument .I just quietly turned and walked away and never went back that was 13 months ago
The Narcissist doesn’t love and doesn’t care. This was the most difficult thing to accept.
I had some tiny bit of hope until recently when he did yet one more thing that showed the monster he is.
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Please stop flooding the comments. This is your 4th comment already.
@@jennifernewton4637you comment is inappropriate.You cannot tell anyone to not post a comment nor can you be counting how many comments people post. The subject matter is difficult enough without added comments from another person on this site. I will post as many comments as I feel I wish to.
I endured years of abuse, gaslighting, neglect. A few days before the bottom dropped out of my world my husband was strangely quiet. Then he strolled in one night while I was making dinner and calmly and casually announced that he didn't want to be married anymore. And then the roller coaster began. What a nightmare.
The final days... increased physical symptoms to accompany all the mental & emotional symptoms. Vertigo, hair loss, nausea, weakness, headaches, heart palpitations, visions. I booked the next plane out of California that I could afford. Could not afford to ship my things though. Dumped it all in the trash the day I left. Just needed to get out of there! He supposedly got my things out of the trash and shipped them later when I was able to send the money for it. Months later and still have not received them. UPS tracking # shows a label was created and then shipment cancelled. He keeps saying he scheduled a pickup. But I suppose he just kept my money
Forget your stuff. He will never send it to you. Start your life NOW❤❤❤
Hello Andrew,
I was discarded,in front of a hospital I had to do a procedure. He I think leave for weekends,maybe get his new supply. I don't came to sleep weeks before,he was in the living room with his smartphone. I said could you please give me a hug. He did,but how. I was empty my heart,my money and so on. No friends,the smear campaign was on it's way. Thank you Andrew,without finding your channel,I don't know what's happened to me and don't find out of the fog to heal. Thank you so much.
Dagmar, I discarded my narcissist in a well lit shopping center. I never knew he was a narcissist. I was used & abused for 5 years. I had to save my life. 🌺🌷
Though I ended the relationship myself, I feel like I only just beat him to it. I had virtually nothing left to give and for several months prior to that his contempt for me was absolute, even the tiny breadcrumbs of fake affection were stopped. But the main thing is that it ended. It doesn't feel like a blessing at the time, quite the opposite, but the end of the toxic relationship is the first day of the rest of your life. Breaking free mentally will take a long time, especially because you are starting from a place of utter exhaustion, but having the wisdom and applying it, you can do it. Be as kind to yourself as you can, you've been through hell. As your strength begins to return you can apply more to your recovery, it's a sort of positive feedback. You are not alone.❤🙏
Every word you said is true and strong. I hated the "long time" part of healing, but it's all good now.
@@jhavajoe3792 Thank you 🙂
The days before discard.
I was home with my kids and I didnt see my spouse at all. It was hell on earth , not because of my kids.
It was that nobody knew including my kids where mom was? So I could not explain to my kids.
She got angry when I face her with it, then I confronted her and said you are a narc right!
Thats was the only thing that came to mind, and she ansered "You known that I was sick all along" And laught. Thats my confrontation and I share
even though I know my cup I not full. Love the channel and Andrew got to me two days before discard ;) Exuse my English, I am Swedish!
Thank You for sharing🙏 I understand you just fine. English is also my second language. I’m Vietnamese. Narcissist doesn’t discriminate its victims
❤thank you Andrew❤you are 💯 %❤Narcisstist people don't like being caught. That's when you see the ugliest character of humanity❤ just stay strong & don't take their crap. For myself, I kicked his lazy a$$ out the door with a court order.
Welcome..😌😌🙏
Andrew, again, a great teaching. It is nearly 2 years now, FREE from my NARC wife (cold heartless monster). For the first time in my life, I now think clearly (no narsacistic fog) and only now realize to whom I was married to. The hard, cold discard nearly took my life. It took my resources, money assets, and a large chunk of my health. It was the worst time in my life knowing now how dangerous this woman is. Thank God that I'm healing and rebuilding my life on 64 years. No golden retirement for me, but I would rather work my butt off rebuilding myself than be in that monstrously of a toxic woman presence Being separated now for almost 2 years, I look forward to the divorce scheduled for 2024. I'm done in being a people's pleaser. Thank you for your channel. It saved my life. God bless. Namaste 🙏 👋 🙏
Namaste..😌🙏🙌
Good for you. I was 35 yrs married. 52 , grandma, fat, just lost my job and my savings used up because of him. He made me feel worthless, worn out, who would want me. He really zeroed my self esteem. But, I divorced him and promised myself I would never live like that again, no matter my age or anything. I am so happy.
@georgiajo2011 Thank you for your sharing. It is so sad..... i have built a millionaires retirement for us, so I thought, just upon settling down to be told.... "she is not used to having me around, I need to go out and work again." Now that was the moment I realized that I only worked for her, that I'm the goose with the golden eggs 🥚 🪺, hence only being used by my "beloved" wife for her needs and greed. Soon thereafter, she just cold discarded me with the following words..... "I'm finished with you. I'm divorcing you. You need to get out. "..... just like that. Now, I am claiming my house of 6 million as she says..... "she deserves this house. "..... just she was not working, as I was the breadwinner. They are toxic monsters. Nevertheless, I'm strating all over again at 64, and by the Grace of God, I will reinvent myself. Even suffering severe financial losses, I'm happy to be out of a toxic, inhumane, disgusting environment. Thanks to my LIVING GOD'S intervention. Amen. I pray all blessings on you.
Thank God for the last days. The end of a hell ride. It's a shock at first but when we realize that it is actually a gift, that's when we start vibrating higher and higher. Great video Andrew ❤ have a lovely evening coach 🫶🙏
Thank you 😌🙏💯🙌
The end of a hell ride ❤️
I have also heard it’s “the gift of goodbye”
you may not think it in those terms right after it happened but you may change your mind later on
VIVA mariefrancebourget1749 🇫🇷 ❤️
Marie France, top of the evening to you. 🌺💕👍🖐
@@jannlewandowski5540 Hi Jann, 😊 have a wonderful evening too. 💞
@@mariefrancebourget1749
You also, Marie France. 🫠
I’m afraid I’m in the final days. Pray for me y’all? Please?
Stay strong.❤
❤️🙏
Thank you!
Blessings Travis
🌈 🎀😘
You can do it!💪🏻
The last few months of my marriage, my narcissistic husband was abusive-verbally, emotionally, and physically. He also disappeared every weekend- leaving at about 7AM Saturday and returning at 8PM Sunday. He refused to explain his activities over that period. So, after several months, I plotted and planned my escape; and I was successful. Happy days😊❤
I’d love to hear about how you did it if you’re up for sharing ! 🫶🏽
Andrew
Brother … I appreciate you being here remotely on my journey to express experiences that we all share having gone through this very evil sickness plaguing our planet. Narcissist hide in plain sight - amongst friends, colleagues, family etc because they master manipulators! They know what buttons to push in their target or the audience they control to alienate their target. My mom is a Narcissist and she abused me for many years. In 1996 I set a bold boundary. Sadly many women and men on my path took my kindness as weakness line her. I am a strong survivor and I can tell you there is no fucking way I will allow myself to get played - again! That’s what you call the galvanized version of each of us !!! It is my sacred honor to place boundaries with these toxic players - both covert (ie the one who plays victim while abusing you and overt )!!!
Good for you!!!!
It's very hard when a parent is the narcissist because you are brought up to think this is normal. It took until I was 50+ to understand what kind of person my mother was and how she sabotaged and triangulated my siblings against each other, we have been estranged for over ten years now.
Escaping the Narcissist in your life is one of the greatest challenges you will go through. You will have to muster the strength and strategy while you are beaten exhausted drained and desperate to just survive. All your so called friends and even some family members will not understand or help you. You will have to be prepared to completely leave old world behind. To have one good friend stand by you will be a blessing. It will be hard financially emotionally spiritually. It will take time maybe years and you most likely will have other battles to fight also.But if you do it and get through it will be worth it. In time you will be so glad, have endured and learned more than you could imagine. You will walk with courage and peace in your heart. You will know a life you couldnt see before. I say this because i have been there and everything this man on youtube tells you is true. Every word he speaks i know by my experience to be true. ❤
Unfortunately I was a child bride at 15 years old, when I was sent away to the United States. I knew from the very beginning that my life was going to be hell, four children, and 23 years later, I managed to escape, but lost everything. Including two of my four children lost to parental alienation. I don't know what is more horrific, knowing it from the very beginning but you have no control, or figuring it out as you go.
Please, try to heal. Live your life with what is left. I send you love. It was never your fault. ❤
Thank you for sharing positive thoughts and energy. I have done pretty well with the healing. I have a good sense of humor, and appreciate irony. As with most prolonged trauma, it is common for one to develop an immune disorder. Even though this may sound as mental as a box of frogs, my lupus keeps me really busy, and keeps my mind off of what little bit of past trauma is left.😊🐸🐸🐸
I married at 17 to 19 yr high school sweetheart. 32 yrs married. He was some controlling as most young men want to show they are head of the house, etc. His narc became noticeable when our second child, a boy was born. It was a slow process of getting worse with the years.
It was the same for me. As each child came along there was more attention needed towards them. He would get angry that all of the attention was not going to him. He started punishing the children, so I would put all of the attention on him. It caused me to look like the bad guy, who did not care about the children. That was exactly what he wanted the children to think. I could not fight against it, as he would just punish the children again, this also made me look like the bad guy.🤷@@CoastalNC
Spot On! When I put the puzzle pieces 2gether it was an ugly picture! 7 weeks now & feeling better every day. What a sick individual!
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God bless everyone!! This channel is invaluable!! FU to all the narcissists searching for validation here. Sorry, not sorry.
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The last days-- very hard to go back there. It was the pinnacle of "All I could Take," and the Narc knew it. Every video that I
listen to, makes me go down in my basement of horrible memories and empty out the garbage bins. I mean "hauling them
out to the landfill myself." Thanks, Andrew! I never listened to one of your videos in which I didn't learn something "I thought"
I already knew or processed. Always learning!👍🙏
Me too.
Blessings Joe
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No words you nailed it Andrew As Always 💡💡💡✅
I predicted it move for move 2 days before she discarded me.
She denied the whole thing and said "and who am i going to find to smear you to?"
I said... "don't worry, you'll find someone."
She did.
When he left I cried my heart out and continued to cry for months. When I saw his credit card bills - he went directly to the restaurants and the boat and the marina.
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er5586, when I left him, I cried all the way home and for 2 yrs after that. I really loved him.🌺
My love died proportionally to his poor and nasty behaviour towards me and the children.
Yes, all of it! The atmosphere is so dense before the final discard. You can sense the dreadiness of what's coming for you. In my case, having had biopsies taken the day before and in a lot of pain following the procedure... I clearly remember him smirking as i went into the hospital alone. The following day he blew such a rage fit and that was the end of it.....that was a year and nine months ago.....a relationship that lasted in the fog of despair for over three decades. All our stories are different but the commonality among them is that there was "something off". We could sense it coming because of the energy exchange.
What Ive notice reading your comment and so many other common....they discard at a time when a person is very ill...like they will not take care of you, they don't want to know, they were never going to nurse you, your an inconvenience now. I speak from experience unfortunately...it hit me hard when I saw he simply didnt WANT to know. It was ALL about him and work, how wonderful he was at his job etc..not one asking " how are you today"...I gave him all that I had, in every way, when he was broke, but as soon as he got back on his feet...the changes were frightening....the love bombing stopped, any love stopped...and he turned really nasty. 9.5 ...years..how did you get on withbyour biopsies?? Good I hope?? And how are you doing now?? ❤❤
That’s sooo too bad. Sorry that happened to you.
Final days more throwing glass glasses at me, punching walls.❣️
I’m close from giving to our baby and he started messaging a chick 13 years younger than me sent pictures of himself and received videos and images from her. She flew out to see him and now he’s Mia, my heart is broken yet he blamed it on me and said I made him do this because I never listen
Going through my final days as I type....the wife has lost her shit finally after 14 years. I tried. Leaving everything I have built in those 14 years just to get away. My dogs. :(......
So sorry for your pain.
Blessings
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Thank you....gratitude...@@marieeakin8534
My dogs are missed 😢. Had to be adopted. He left them at the house alone with no one to provide for them.
All to hurt me even more!!
I had to get a job 4 hrs away from my covert mom and Child SA and enabler dad. This was 6 years ago. I went no contact in September 23. 50 years of narc abuse. So much happier not talking to them. As they get older they get more desperate and sloppy. Still healing. Can't wrap my mind around how evil they are.
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My Mom went through this.She got out just with her life.Her retirement is gone.She is trying to heal now but its hard not to be angry or very sad.She is Journaling and meditating and doing all the right things to heal.I know its a long process but so proud of her.Life does not end here
Were survivors!!!
I LOVE that head-turn, think about THAT thing you do LOL You make each day brighter, Andrew! Thank you, namaste.
Welcome 🤔🤔😊
Me too!!!!!!!
One of the most blatantly manipulative things I've EVER been through was DATING another narcissist (who literally could have given the ex-husband LESSONS in NPD) was he would take me out to dinner on Wednesday nights when my ex was court-ordered to take our children out to dinner. My ex would be in MY driveway, calling me and asking "How close I was to getting home" and the more he called, the MORE the Narc I was dating would stall; order dessert, etc. So not only did he want to make my relationship with my ex more volatile, it was a matter of TWO NARCISSISTS trying to "Out Narc" each other! I kicked THAT guy to the curb, too! WTF do these people think they are???? People, listen to your gut. Trust but verify. TAKE YOUR TIME and stay tuned into Andrew! Namaste.
@@lizstraub6621It is so bizarre how we can attract them without any effort at all. Be safe out there. ❤
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone
Did you use to have another channel and were seeing Bigfoots behind you in your yard? Your wife was named Truely or something similar and she was Asian or something? I watched that channel a lot... several years ago. I just can't remember the name of the channel.
I was livin in france with my narc in 2011 i just waited for her to go out was done with all the lies i put my stuff in my van and headed for home ! It was the hardest thing I ever did ive just learned how much she had brainwashed me through videos. Then i found another and recognised the behaviour that ended very quickly . Thankyou mate for my enlightenment 👍
Welcome 💯💯😌🙏
I remember once she looked at my wallet strangely after I set it down. It set off alarm bells in my head because the relationship wasn't going great, so the next day right before she left I checked it and a 50 dollar bill was gone. I confronted her about and she made threw a fit over it, told me to check her purse. So I started removing items from it and she grabbed it before I could empty it and stormed out the door. She never admitted to it either.
They won't admit when they steal. They'll tell you that you're mistaken about how much was in your wallet. 😡
I know when I know when I have to go. Thank you Andrew!
Welcome 😌😌💯
I discarded them and ended up with a better choice! 😂😂😂
When I exited the narc made his own sons and my life a living hell every single week for over a year. Up until they drained all my assets and money. And then tried too hover me back in yet again. I was hovered at least 10 times in a 20 year span. But this last time I drew a line in the sand and said no way. The narc sat around and figured out how to make my life hell every week. Including trying to cancel house insurance trying to jack up house insurance for a payment I already couldn’t afford, slashed my tires on my car plus poured urine on my car. Took 1 of our dogs gave her away to a complete stranger. Sued me for a family house they never paid for. Sued me for my fathers furniture. Kept trying to throw me in jail over custody issue. Made his own son and I homeless. All while going through cancer. The best thing I did for myself and my son is getting away. Nothing will ever change until you get out. God bless
I loved him but I walked away with my head up. He was looking online for my replacement. 2years recovery.
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It's so peaceful now and I have money in the bank. Thanks Andrew
Final days were awful. Should never have gone back after being discarded in late June 2021 after a round of verbal and spiritual bashing (not a first but very bad). Escorted out by my son in law who was armed to protect me because there were several loaded guns in the home and questionable use of medications.
Returned after 3days and nights upon agreement of proper handling of those along with therapy etc.
I entered counseling with the narc’s now disapproval and stalking. He refused to attend. Therapist told me to pack a “go bag” which I DIDN’T.
Within a week was told I needed to take out death and funeral coverage.
The energy was awful and dark. Lots of nightmares and the narc was up all night most nights.
I became very sick (blamed it on a history of migraines that had been better until this season) but was sick, vomiting, very weak (always been a very strong person). Narc began accusing me of things (cheating, hiding things and poisoning HIM).
Last day mid July: Kids came to visit, he wanted to practice shooting after church. I had my first meal in days and was shaking and dehydrated so not really social but trying. Kids trained in safety firearms and teach others.
To make a long story short, my daughter was concerned he was aiming in direction of people and not practicing safety.
Things got very bad verbally. He wanted me to choose him over my daughter. The kids left inviting me of course which I said I needed to “pray” 🙄 as I thought the pastor was needing “deliverance” .
Narc began shooting like mad in the yard. Went in house. He came & I left. There’s some details of things I’ll never repeat that were said. And the demonic is real no doubt in my mind from what I saw and experienced.
I believe angels escorted me out. I left with flip flops on my feet, shorts and a tank top and my old van.
Days after were him smearing me to anyone who would listen and when it didn’t pan out for him he threatened to burn the house down etc.
And people want to know why I don’t attend church anymore.
I didn’t have wisdom clearly. Believed lies.
The kids waited for me. Escorted me out of state where I could regroup. The people I stayed with met every need. They were waiting because a couple months before I was crying on the woman’s shoulder in the women’s bathroom at church for how I’d been treated on the drive there.
Not every narc is loaded with guns and narcs, but they have that same darkness and they want to destroy you.
My message is: get out and don’t go back.
God bless you Andrew ❤🙏
❤🙌☝️🤗❤️🤗❤️🤗
@@jennifernewton4637 🫂❤️🙏
Thank you so much for your brave share.
Your light shines bright these days & is a warmth to others. 👍👍👍
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@@marieeakin8534 thank you🙏🫂❤️
You endured so much and now you are FREE!!!❤
Reciprocation is not a word in the narcissist’s vocabulary.
Wow, so utterly on-target and accurate.
It’s been 4 years since I got out of this horrible history. I remember the last months being extremely filled with gaslighting, she really wanted me to commit domestic violence, she made my blood boil. In the restaurant I had installed, she passed me with disdain and elbow forward poking my ribs, saying “excuse me”, serving some plates to clients. In the years before she read about every book of a local crime writer. I think she lived by it. In the end I was worried she was going to poison me, so I prepared my own food. When a neighbor shop owner passed away, she boldly told me: “You ‘ll be next”. I knew I had to get out of there…
I ended it myself because I expected almost everything you’ve explained here by the narcissist, he pushed me to the point that I saw he wasn’t improving on his treatment towards me, he came to our supposedly home emptied of all my things, I didn’t even know anything about what a narcissist really was, but God led me to this knowledge on these channels & he came back several times for me to forgive & give him more chances but soon as he would have me alone in our supposedly home he treated me worst & I found drugs & condoms laying around as if he wanted me to see it, hurting me 😢but now I’m done & closed all contact, he’s still trying to catch me slipping, God willing I’ll continue to grow & fly like the Phoenix you mentioned here 🙏🏼 God bless us all who shine bright & keep shining all! Thank you Andrew! 😊 knowledge is power!
Discarded and exiting. I’ll tell you what I WON’T be doing this holiday season is slaving in the kitchen while the family exchanges gifts in the living room without me. Thank you for the video. Your words are helpful!
She criticized my driving, got after me because I only did 5 of the 6 things on her list, etc.
The day before she asked me to leave, I had a horrible feeling of dread. Yet she was full of hugs, kisses, and snuggles.
Then she pulled the rug out from under me.
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Yes recognise your story. And the time to be critisized, driving, household, what you crab for a bite even in my case. And when you react to the endless critisism that steals your peace energy and selfworth, than you are the problem. No less than crazy making. Nothing to do with love or living imo. So we get a new change and own choices and no constant critisism. This is a win. 💪
She would have discarded me sooner because would have done maybe 1/5 things on her list. 😁
You are right Andrew. The final days are hardest but also liberating because the truth was coming to light and that was setting us free. Thank you 🙏 Andrew. God bless you❤