People Who Need To END THE RELATIONSHIP
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- Опубліковано 22 тра 2024
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#1 - leave and don't look back. #2 - You are not overweight. You don't need to lose weight, you need to lose that guy.
#2 can easily loose at least 130 lbs by dumping that loser lol
Angry people are the scariest to be behind the wheel with honestly . The fiancé could’ve made her crash with all his yelling. Like if you’re both going to argue stop the car somewhere safe.
She was driving. He was, fortunately, not driving. That's about the only good thing about her entire story. Alcohol can cause brain changes in some people (actually, statistics show that it can happen to everyone, but for some unlucky people, it can happen the first drink they ever have, and for others, they can drink for decades...but it will happen; and they can no longer control their emotions. Akin to acquired brain injury in how it manifests). Technically, it is brain damage. Anyhoo, I hope OP decides not to be an idiot and cancels the wedding, goes over the horizon and leave him behind. My ex was getting like that (we had three kids and a business, house together) so it can get messier if you stay and think they'll change. They won't. I was driving us home, he was yelling at me from the passenger seat; he'd been drinking all day at some work gathering, kids sitting frightened in the back; I took an early exit instead of the correct one (highway was notorious for misleading signs btw, they ended up fixing them) and he looked at me with such hatred and scorn and said *"you're just a woman"* - and something snapped; I checked for anyone behind me, hit the brakes hard, and before he'd even gone back into his seat from braking, I had both feet up over the console and screamed at him to "get out" at top voice, and hit his shoulder with full force of my feet, all within five seconds. (FYI - women's legs are our strongest weapon at close quarters). He actually shut up. After that, it was a matter of figuring out exit strategies, but I got out. If he'd kept going with loss of control, he could have easily killed me. Actually, later on, he did start to strangle me when I was leaving him; I just stared dead into his eyes - by then, I couldn't have cared. He only stopped because the kids came round the corner and started crying out. They don't change.
Story 1: Update:
I just want to clarify some things. Yes I left that night I did not wait for him to get home. I blocked him for that day but he then contacted me through social media and started my saying he was done with alcohol for good and had already scheduled an appointment with a therapist. He sent me tons of messages saying he’s willing to do anything. I finally answered him and told him I was done and have no interest in getting married or getting back together.
In regard to calling me fat, it’s actually funny bc my fiancé has only ever dated women who are slightly curvy like myself. Not obese but curvy. I recently lost 20lbs for the wedding and just started feeling good again.
I have cancelled my photographer and hair/makeup since I paid for those. His parents put the deposit down on the venue so I feel they can call to cancel that themselves
He does not drink to this degree often but when he does it always ends in him getting in a screaming match with someone
I'm glad you are leaving, never look back. You said his parents have a history of the same behaviors and he even is angry when he doesn't drink. He needs to get himself help before he drags others down. Don't marry into someone else's issues you deserve better than to subject yourself to that.
Also, send a copy of the footage of how he was treating you. Hopefully seeing it can help him realize what he's doing wrong. And it can help him in therapy realize how he should have handled the situation.
The alcohol crosses the blood/brain barrier, and influences how well he can control his emotions. Just like people with acquired brain injury have little to no control over their emotions when triggered. Well, the alcohol consumption triggers him. He would have to go alcohol free entirely, probably for life, to avoid ending up causing someone else great harm, or having himself beaten senseless if he picks on the wrong guy. It's not always HOW much they drink, but that they drink at all. Once alcohol causes that reaction in them once, every time they drink, it will trigger it again. It's a form of brain damage in how it affects people. The brain normally has a barrier to toxins, but once that goes down to a substance, that is it. Be careful. He's all penitent now, but if he hits the alcohol again, he could go on a rampage. Be alert to your surroundings. Best of luck and I wish you great happiness in life.
I always try to avoid someone who gets angry/offended really easily. I’d always feel like I’m walking on eggshells around them. Not worth it
"He thinks it isn't fair that only he puts in the effort."
Um, excuse me? Why's he acting like exercise is a key component in a healthy relationship? I mean, she's at a good weight, so what's the problem?
It's his first step at attempting to control her!
My opinion on that last story if she has been distant and now wants a divorce then why did you agree to marry if you felt suffocated with love.
I'm not saying I know anything about their relationship and I'm not a therapist, but a person's mental health can decline at any time.
Just sounds to me like she has a fear of commitment, thought that she could get over it, but no. Now she’s having a mental break. She’s caught between her feelings for the commitment phobia and the fact she doesn’t want to hurt her spouse.
0:05: OP needs to end the engagement right then and there. Her fiance is a raging alcoholic who is showing his true colors, which he undoubtedly inherited from his father. He needs some serious help. OP should run away while she has the chance. Thank God there are no kids in the picture.
2:50: OP's husband expects her to live up to his standards, whereas she has no desire to do so. He also seems to think that exercising and working out will make her "hot" in his eyes. It's definitely a him problem, and if they can't come to a compromise, she should divorce him.
4:41: OP needs to come to the realization that his wife no longer loves him for reasons known only to her. As emotionally difficult as this seems to be for him, he needs to get to the bottom of this situation and determine whether it's worth it for this marriage to continue.
Shadowboxer I'm I missing Wittyrosekoi 🧐🧐🧐🧐🧐🧐🧐🧐🧐
That last marriage is already over in all but name.
First story: Run far, run fast, and don’t look back. This will only get worse after marriage. Second story: One or both of these people need to change their attitude. Maybe they should talk to someone. Third story: Sometimes there is no good explanation. She wants to go, so let her go.
2nd story run. He knows you have an eating disorder, hes messing with your head on purpose. He is negging you.
5'5" and 135 pounds is a very healthy weight. You aren't fat. He is just starting the controlling.
#1 should leave. I have the sinking feeling like it’s going to get worse if she stays with him. First it’s verbal abuse while sober/drunk, the next step is the partner getting plastered all the time which would lead to step three, physical/verbal abuse. The relationship already seems bad and I would never bring kids into this terrible environment. I’ve had to live with this experience twice, once from my father and the second from my potential partner. I saw the signs and didn’t want to end up like my mother so I’m glad I left before things got serious. A few years after we split I read in the newspaper that he was arrested for murdering his wife and attempting to murder his daughter. I know everyone’s experience is different but I would rather be safe than sorry. Never settle for less, know your worth and no matter how much you love someone, no matter how much it hurts to leave just walk away. I know it’s hard but don’t mistake bruises for kisses and never mistake pain for love, you’re better than that. You’re human and we make mistakes, but you should always learn from them because that’s the only way to grow and get to know yourself.
For that last story. I completely understand her side. She may have a different situation than I do ofcourse, so this doesn’t mean I know why she did it, but I’ve definitely left relationships that were good for me because I can’t handle it. I know I have mental problems. I take meds, but sometimes a relationship can just be too much. The love kinda just makes me feel sad and trapped after a while of being in it. Not once did I ever leave a relationship blaming the other person though. It had nothing to do with them and all to do with me. That’s the only thing I disagree with on her side.
She probably meant to explain it in a way it wasn't blaming but herself, and it came out wrong. Or she was just so distraught with her own feelings she didn't how to convey what she was saying or feeling.
33 seconds ago is crazy 💀 Glad I was early 🫶🏽
On that one story at that height and weight, it is not somebody who is overweight
3 minutes ago!! I've been watching you for so long 😭❤ I'm so glad you're still here! The dedication 🥺 I love the sound of your voice reading and you always give great advice !
Hi ellen!! I hope you having a great day❤❤❤
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WOOOO! ^u^
WEEEE!
Ellen, hi 👋🏽❤
0:28 hi
HEY BEAUTIFUL 👋
❤U
1st Story: You wouldn't buy a ripped dress for a one-time special occasion, but you would contemplate a life-time with someone with these kinds of issues. People need to be as picky about who they choose to spend their lives with as they are when they choose nice clothing - They make you feel good and you don't have to mend them. 2nd Story: Big age gaps where the older person plays these kind of mind games make me feel bad for the younger person. He knows you have an eating disorder so this is how he can mess with your head. Turn his volume ALL THE WAY DOWN and listen to the voice in your head that made you write this post. If you're going to stay with this insecure person, you're going to have to tune him out. He's your spouse, not your parent. 🤨
in the last story do you think she may have been cheating or something?
Most likely.
Idk I thought she was going through something mentally
I'm early and hi everyone
hi
Hello @@amyssu3744
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Wow I'm early
first
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How are you doing sweetie? How are you feeling? I hope just great!! In the very first story, she should automatically leave him right away because he just completely crossed the boundaries and that is completely unforgivable. Yes call off and cancel the wedding plans because he doesn't deserve to be married to you. Pack all of your clothes, other neccessities, and just leave because he's not even worth going to therapy with. He is a grown who has been verbally ab*s*ve to you so many times. They say that when a person is drunk they always tell the truth. In the secomd story, why is she even married to him then? She could've easily found all of those things out while they were just dating. I strongly believe that they rushed into their marriage. In the third story, she probably was seeing someone else behind your back, strongly fancied him, and that's why she just left. He is married to her so he can tell her that he loves her an infinite amount of times. Why in the world did she even marry him then. This is very personal to me because I was with this one girl in the past who basically told me that my love and strong feelings for her were scaring her, but I never sttalked her or did anything devious like that to her. I gave her space to do her own thing, I never, ever questioned her about her whereabouts despite all of the rumors that I was hearing, and as it turns out she said that my love was scaring her mainly because she was cheating and she was just looking for an easy way to break up with me.. I love you my friend!! Have a great day, good night from me!! Stay safe!!