i need everyone who wasn't on stream to know that every time Dan moved the camera chat started screaming about being kidnapped and wanting to be let go. every. single. time
My family owned a Pizzeria trattoria for 35 years and I can safely say that the Associazione Verace Pizza napoletana (official pizza guild) has DEFINITELY ordered a hit on him
Things that Dan apparently doesn't know: The concept of kneading dough How explosive flour is The metric system How to convert teaspoons into tablespoons (it's 3, not 2 1/2) The fact that he's lived 27 years is a miracle
@@thewanderingmistnull2451 that's pretty common though. He is making people that own hole in a wall restaurants cry or caused the Sicilian Mafia to target him for transportation to another plane.
"As a dead broke recent college graduate..." I'm sorry to hear of your untimely passing. How nice that you're able to speak with us from beyond the grave.
My favorite part of RT's content is that chat collectively is like, a whole-ass character. Like a hivemind that collectively equates to a single gremlin with no object permanence and zero patience.
This was so stressful to watch live, and I'm still not sure if he wasn't trolling. This is what happens when you spend all your university time playing Mario Cart!
I believe this was compensation for his James Bond stream. He promised he'd order McDonald's before playing, but it kept messing up his order and the stream ended up late. It's sweet actually, how much he cares about his fans,to the point he'll literally make pizza as compensation for not getting McDonald's on time.
My Maltese boyfriend was less offended by me wholeheartedly and unironically suggesting adding pineapple juice to the sauce than he was with this video.
I love his ability to misinterpret even the simplest instructions in the weirdest way, he hears that knead means massage and lightly pats the dough like hes never given or received a massage before.
Ngl alot of people have this. Me and my roommates spice cabinet is loaded, but we use like maybe 6 of them most of the time. And shit, taijin I don't think I've ever used for actual cooking, I just use it on my bloody mary glasses.
@@fabra1122 I know you actually probably know this but another point to rt not cooking. dried spices don't actually expire. they lose like an iota of flavor every ten years after expiry but it's fine.
@@fantage20012 basically you’re just gonna wanna stretch the gluten strands in the dough there’s really not a wrong way to do it (although every kneader will tell you that their way is the only way to do it) my preference is too pull from the bottom and push it into the top as I think it works the best and it looks funny
@fantage20012 Essentially you fold and push down on the dough with the heel of your hand, multiple times to knead, adding a little bit of flour to the surface of where your kneading, the dough itself and your hands when it gets too sticky. The dough will go from a soft, sticky mess to a smooth, elastic dough.
Dan's reaction to Chat choosing salt and pepper out of his entire spice rack is like the D&D community's reaction when someone decides to play a Human Fighter
to be fair to both human fighters and salt&pepper, they are both a fantastic choice, a wonderful, essential, trustworthy combination that is a baseline to which all others can be measured. to be unique is not interesting without the freedom to be boring
@@wrenchy_ I've just been watching a lot of college humor/ dropout stuff and emulating the way Brennen Lee Mulligan talks. he's such an incredible speaker I can't help but try and copy him lmao. I also genuinely believe both salt & pepper and human fighters rule
Joining Brennan and Jason here in defending the basic with my beloved human fighter Ridley, who gets to be the delightfully basic contrast to her fascinating girlfriend Chrys the aasimar bardlock.
There are way too many words he doesn't know or doesn't know how to pronounce given his background. I love the man but I frequently wonder how he managed to get his degree.
@@danieljensen2626 There was a video in which he didn't know what 'irreverent' meant (I think it was The Quarry or Until Dawn), and in that moment I lost every last bit of faith I had in him as an English major myself, bless his soul
sometimes i feel like i’m bad at cooking or baking and then i watch something like this and i feel like i’m either extremely talented or i’m just watching madness
1. I think it's shocking how this is exactly what it's like to have your dad cook something 2. Good on Dan for trying to feed his 200k+ adopted children
@@runed0s86 also dan: uses expired frozen chicken. On a Margherita pizza. Where he just threw out oregano. Of expired dry herbs or expired frozen chicken, I would sooner trust the herbs.
@@freewilly1193If he bought the chicken august 1st, the expiry date is august 10th and he freezes it the 3rd that chicken will not spoil in the freezer, it will only get freezerburn. I have eaten chicken I put in the freezer nearly a year ago and it's no different in taste. You can anyway smell immediately if chicken is old, it stinks so bad. That chicken is 100% trustworthy to eat unless it's been stored for years and got freezerburn or RT has a broken freezer.
From ordering pizza to making pizza. One day he's gonna break Twitch records by pouring a glass a milk without spilling it, and then stream ten hours of grass growing.
As an American, listening to Dan quickly spout off nonsensical conversion rates to measure stuff made me understand how we sound to literally everyone else in the world.
My parents used to own a pizzeria, and we’ve been making our own pizza nearly every week for years now. Every second of this video caused me great agony
Dan, 180 grams of ONLY WATER is 180 ml of ONLY WATER. It DOES NOT APPLY TO ANYTHING ELSE. (It technically doesn't even apply to water because it's more like 0.99987 liters per kilogram but oh well)
@@PGraveDigger1 that's just not true. Sugar is almost twice as dense as flour, if you want 300g flour and 300g sugar and end up with 300g flour and 520g sugar, that will totally mess with your hypothetical cake
Hey Dan. To explain why the pizza was very strong in Olive Oil flavour; extra virgin olive oil is the stronger tasting stuff. Next time you attempt making a pizza, I suggest using light-tasting olive oil, which is also perfect to cook meat with if it’s using low temperatures
What I love about Dan’s metric solution using Cups is that it only works for water. The conversation of mL to Grams is designated only for water and therefore all measurements made using that are just off
@@ytuser4562 I don't remember if she shows up in this pizza video, but Cakejumper (same name on Twitch and UA-cam) is one of RT's Irish friends. She the short lass who does a lot of baking streams and she's been in RT's previous cooking/baking videos, such as the car Kirby cake and the caterpillar cake
@@ytuser4562 No, the one behind the camera in this stream is Kelli/QueenRowlet. Cake would be several brands of horrified if she saw him make pizza this way, almost certainly.
@@Loop_Kat I think those were filmed after this, since someone asked him whether he'd learned to knead yet on one of those streams, and we found out here he didn't.
Everyone's (rightly) talking about the kneading and throwing away the origano, but I can't get over the fact he bought the CORRECT type of mozzarella but didn't know they come in with their water.
Worked at a pizza place, just smiling through the suffering, from the "kneading" to not proofing to pressing it out on a wood cutting board to the unseasoned sauce... Anyway good job Dan.
@@funkywunkywunker Naw, raw flour is still raw, and raw things ain't very safe. Sure most of the time you won't get ill, but there's a chance, so it's better to just not do it.
I was terrified the moment RT said he didn't need to clear the flour from the pan. If you didn't know, flour is extremely combustible. I knew he'd probably get rid of it, but the instinctual fear was intense
Can’t believe we let this Irish Canadian guy claim he was Irish for this long. He doesn’t even use metric. What’s next? He pays someone a compliment without using a swear? Jesus Christ just the thought…
I read this in my normal internal voice (American accent) and then somehow the Irish anger of the comment shone through enough for said internal voice to fully switch to an Irish accent
Wow. Thank you for this. I cannot explain how much confidence this just gave me. I DO, in fact, know how to cook, apparently, because this made my brain melt. Very entertaining, but please know that I absolutely do judge you, very strongly, for not knowing what kneading is. I hope a random stranger you'll never meet in your life, who also doesn't cook for himself when he absolutely should judging your lack of kneading skills weighs on you. Heavily.
Quick reminder: This man has played Cooking Mama on stream before. He has kneaded dough in that game multiple times. Somehow he blocked all of that out to the point of not having even a sliver of a memory of what kneading is.
Dan's a real tesco lad, so much of his kitchen contains tesco products and spices especially. Just been making pasta and used a bunch of our tesco spices from our huge spice shelf
Hey RtgameDad. honestly these dad videos help me so much. i don’t have that great of a relationship with my dad, so having an internet dad really helps me :) thanks for being a mediocre dad who gives extra cheese!
I highly recommend a channel called "Dad How Do I". He's the undisputed internet dad imo. He helps those who don't have anyone to ask questions you would usually ask your parent. Heard of the dude a while back, idk if he's still going but I'm sure his backlog of content would help anyone some way or another
“The dwarf bread was brought out for inspection. But it was miraculous, the dwarf bread. No one ever went hungry when they had some dwarf bread to avoid. You only had to look at it for a moment, and instantly you could think of dozens of things you'd rather eat. Your boots, for example. Mountains. Raw sheep. Your own foot.”
Next time the husband complains about how I cook, now I have something to show him. Thanks, Dan! It takes a special kind of person to make me feel confident in my cooking skills, and you have done marvelously.
As an Italian myself, who has a real dad who knows how to make delicious pizzas, I didn't know it was possible to get this frustrated over Dan making pizza
Rt i genuinely do not know how to describe what watching you make this pizza has done to me. It physically pained me but was also the best thing I’ve watched today,, also I’m pretty sure the ominous oven noises were just the pans warping from the heat. Could be wrong but it’s happened many times to my poor long suffering cookie sheets.
The moment I saw him set down the raw flour instead of a bowl of dough that had been proofing for an hour already, I knew we were in for a special experience.
you know it's gonna be bad when dan thinks 2.5 teaspoons is a tablespoon rather than 3, not to mention his "kneading". It's so beautifully bad. Like watching a car crash you just can't look away from
Y'know, there really isn't anything embrassing about not knowing how to knead dough, sometimes it just never comes up in your life. That being said, watching RT try to knead dough like a cat made my day
dan's streams are usually very calming for me but this was the first one that really stressed me out. i am only halfway through the video (thank u still dan for all the vids)
Would anyone like a slice of my pizza
please dan im starving
Ssssure..?
Dan i want your pizza
no
me pls :3
i need everyone who wasn't on stream to know that every time Dan moved the camera chat started screaming about being kidnapped and wanting to be let go. every. single. time
Thank you for blessing us with this information
Also whenever Dan left the screen we decided he was gone forever
@@DeathnoteBB 0 object permanency
classic RT stream chat
this makes it even better wahahahaha
This video makes me feel like he has me strapped to a chair across the counter and is forcing me to watch him make horrible pizza.
And he just occasionally refers to you as “chat”
Oh man this comment made me laugh so hard, it's so true hahahaha
But we watch it voluntarily
"were havin fun
And this is the *correct* way to have fun"
SO true manta
My family owned a Pizzeria trattoria for 35 years and I can safely say that the Associazione Verace Pizza napoletana (official pizza guild) has DEFINITELY ordered a hit on him
holy shit assassin's creed is real but they're pizzeria guild members
I would not be surprised if this turned out to actually be true, good lord
Lol
If they ordered a hit on RT for just being incompetent, then I'd hate to see what they did to Kilian.
Dunno if they'll catch him he is the Butcher of Sapienza
I don't know what's worse. Dan cooking badly on purpose or Dan cooking badly on purpose _and_ accidentally.
What this man did to that bag of mozzarella was a crime.
Like, come on, there's obviously liquid in there. You can FEEL that.
Dan repeatedly mispronouncing spices
Pretty sure he doesn't cook often otherwise his spices weren't expired
Things that Dan apparently doesn't know:
The concept of kneading dough
How explosive flour is
The metric system
How to convert teaspoons into tablespoons (it's 3, not 2 1/2)
The fact that he's lived 27 years is a miracle
that explains why he usually only bakes with cakejumper since he can't do it alone
Even worse, since he's converting between systems, a UK tablespoon is 25% larger than a US tablespoon.
Even even worse, he’s under the wrong assumption that grams = milliliters. That’s only true for water, flour is actually much different.
*That unshredded mozarella comes in a brine
@@thewanderingmistnull2451 that's pretty common though. He is making people that own hole in a wall restaurants cry or caused the Sicilian Mafia to target him for transportation to another plane.
RT, your response to the mozzarella makes me think that you _haven't_ survived 27 years, and instead have been raised from the death repeatedly
I'm fairly convinced he's lived 27 years, just not on this earth
It’s a miracle!
He is the Messiah!
"From the death" 😂
I've literally cried when he did mozzarella splash 🤣🤣
Most people don’t buy fresh raw mozzarella
As a person taking a professional bakery course this hurt me in ways that I can't even describe and didn't even think was possible.
Just think of the job security though.
I studied pastry and the attempt to transport flattened '''''dough''''' with spatulas was taxing.
As a casual baker, it also hurts me in a deep and personal way.
Lol
Pain
As a dead broke recent college graduate, I 100% respect learning an entirely unique conversion system instead of buying a new set of measuring cups
"As a dead broke recent college graduate..."
I'm sorry to hear of your untimely passing. How nice that you're able to speak with us from beyond the grave.
he could have at least done an accurate conversion though, flour is around twice as dense as water, so he should have put twice as much flour in
My favorite part of RT's content is that chat collectively is like, a whole-ass character. Like a hivemind that collectively equates to a single gremlin with no object permanence and zero patience.
i think rt treats chat like a single gremlin too
Yes.
Look there's like 2 braincells between the lot of chat, we're bouncing that around all the time.
@@RiderLeangle2 Like the screen saver on a dvd player
@@Dragoboi1998 do they hit the corner?
why does Dan have so many spices when he clearly has never made anything complex enough that required spice
He consumes the spice directly.
@@danujus77 well at least it’s not the other spice
That's why the oregano was expired.
@@Cobalt360DegreesI don't think dried herbs can go bad unless they were stored in a moist place.
It’s for the style
ive literally never seen anyone who doesnt know what kneading is...godspeed RT
How can you go through 25+ years of your life and not know what kneading is? I'm not shaming here, I just don't understand how that can happen.
Has he touched food before
I had to stop watching the stream at that point, lest I started shoving forks into my eye sockets to drown out the existential pain.
This was so stressful to watch live, and I'm still not sure if he wasn't trolling. This is what happens when you spend all your university time playing Mario Cart!
@@Ellisepha look, he's the drift king not the cooking king.
Dan went from ordering Twitch Chat a pizza to preparing it for them himself on stream. The lengths this man goes to for his community are incredible.
Ikr
I believe this was compensation for his James Bond stream. He promised he'd order McDonald's before playing, but it kept messing up his order and the stream ended up late.
It's sweet actually, how much he cares about his fans,to the point he'll literally make pizza as compensation for not getting McDonald's on time.
Now this is quality entertainment
Unless it's McDonald's
inedible*
"It's extra virgin" Dan didn't even use lightly fucked olive oil, he really let us all down
I do not even want to know how you lightly fuck oil.
what the heck is this accursed comment doing in a video about something so pure like pizza
gotta love how youtube's filters work only 1/4th of a time.
Lightly fucked olive oil or how I like to call it, extra protein olive oil
@@generallyunimportant and even when they do, its on a slight slip-of-the-tongue moment, and never on stuff like whatever this is
Expectations: _Dan makes a Basic Pizza_
Reality: _Dad makes a personal declaration of war against the entire mediterranean_
Literally a war crime against the entire Italian diaspora
My Maltese boyfriend was less offended by me wholeheartedly and unironically suggesting adding pineapple juice to the sauce than he was with this video.
@@kadebrockhausenPineapple Gang unite!
I love his ability to misinterpret even the simplest instructions in the weirdest way, he hears that knead means massage and lightly pats the dough like hes never given or received a massage before.
I CACKLED at your comment. RT needs a massage.
I think what baffles me the most is that RT has a "magical spice cabinet" but can't cook to save his life
Explains why his oregano expired...
@@fabra1122 I wanted to comment the same
“Save his life” was almost literal in this scenario
Ngl alot of people have this. Me and my roommates spice cabinet is loaded, but we use like maybe 6 of them most of the time. And shit, taijin I don't think I've ever used for actual cooking, I just use it on my bloody mary glasses.
@@fabra1122 I know you actually probably know this but another point to rt not cooking. dried spices don't actually expire. they lose like an iota of flavor every ten years after expiry but it's fine.
As a person who likes making bread, watching Dan not know how to knead was the funniest thing I've seen in a while.
to be fair, the dough was way too wet
one might even say he _kneads_ some help
Lmao 🤣 me too, he went right to making the shape
Him picking up the dough with fucking spatulas absolutely sent me
Agreed, the cat massage was so funny
The immediate cut from "It's slimy I wonder why" to the mozzarella spilling all over the floor, and the pineapple being very unripe. ART
A[RT]
The poetry of it all. It writes itself.
RT: "I have survived on this planet for 27 years"
Also RT: "what is kneading" *slaps dough*
ALSO RT: *opens mozzarella cheese with reckless abandon*
*AFTER SPOTTING THAT THEIR IS LIQUID IN IT*
Yeah who never learned how to knead? Please explain how it works, I'm begging you.
@@fantage20012 Hmmmmm sounds likes something a no kneader would say, get him fellas!
@@fantage20012 basically you’re just gonna wanna stretch the gluten strands in the dough there’s really not a wrong way to do it (although every kneader will tell you that their way is the only way to do it) my preference is too pull from the bottom and push it into the top as I think it works the best and it looks funny
@fantage20012 Essentially you fold and push down on the dough with the heel of your hand, multiple times to knead, adding a little bit of flour to the surface of where your kneading, the dough itself and your hands when it gets too sticky. The dough will go from a soft, sticky mess to a smooth, elastic dough.
Dan's reaction to Chat choosing salt and pepper out of his entire spice rack is like the D&D community's reaction when someone decides to play a Human Fighter
to be fair to both human fighters and salt&pepper, they are both a fantastic choice, a wonderful, essential, trustworthy combination that is a baseline to which all others can be measured. to be unique is not interesting without the freedom to be boring
@@jasonwalker4003 holy fuck this guy is a straight up poet
@@wrenchy_ I've just been watching a lot of college humor/ dropout stuff and emulating the way Brennen Lee Mulligan talks. he's such an incredible speaker I can't help but try and copy him lmao. I also genuinely believe both salt & pepper and human fighters rule
@@jasonwalker4003 to be fair Brennan was also the defender of the basic in that one sketch
Joining Brennan and Jason here in defending the basic with my beloved human fighter Ridley, who gets to be the delightfully basic contrast to her fascinating girlfriend Chrys the aasimar bardlock.
This is the single best demonstration of "too many cooks spoil the broth" I've ever seen.
I, too, shall add a bullion cube
Idk man there was only one cook here and it spoiled anyways
The number doesn't matter as long Dan isn't the one making the pizza
Same!
It's more a demonstration of "no cooks..."
Daniel: An English major
Also Daniel: What does 'kneading' mean?
Also also Daniel: saying constituency instead of consistency
goes to show majors are useless, especially if its an english one
@@JozFoxx How do you know he wasn't talking about a group of voters in a specified area who elect a representative to a legislative body, huh?
There are way too many words he doesn't know or doesn't know how to pronounce given his background. I love the man but I frequently wonder how he managed to get his degree.
@@danieljensen2626 There was a video in which he didn't know what 'irreverent' meant (I think it was The Quarry or Until Dawn), and in that moment I lost every last bit of faith I had in him as an English major myself, bless his soul
sometimes i feel like i’m bad at cooking or baking and then i watch something like this and i feel like i’m either extremely talented or i’m just watching madness
It's both.
I have not kneaded dough since I was a child and yet I am CRYING at his complete misunderstanding of it
I’m starting to think that Dan made a deal with the devil where he traded all of his other skills in order to become the Drift King
Oh but haven’t you heard ? They used to call him the Drift King in college you know
@@JayJonahJameson07 and later on the Pokemon king
1. I think it's shocking how this is exactly what it's like to have your dad cook something
2. Good on Dan for trying to feed his 200k+ adopted children
That’s an insult to dads
@@ms.fukawa-hanamura3754 some are like that actually, for example, Daniel
"2½ teaspoons is a Tablespoon" - Rumble Tumble, the guy who definitely understands measurements
i just learned earlier today that it's 3-1 so i was like what?
YESS OUR BOY RUMBLE TUMBLE!!!
He thought cups weren't metric...
Hmm but the funny man on the internet said it. It MUST be true.
@@mattymerr701 wym? Cups is most certainly not a metric measurement.
Dan: Have Patience, Chat.
Also Dan: rushes every single step of the cooking process that involves waiting.
"What do you mean it has to proof for at least an hour?" ....Dan please
Also Dan: throws out a whole bottle of perfectly good oregano.
He's not acting like a dad...
@@runed0s86 also dan: uses expired frozen chicken. On a Margherita pizza. Where he just threw out oregano.
Of expired dry herbs or expired frozen chicken, I would sooner trust the herbs.
@@freewilly1193If he bought the chicken august 1st, the expiry date is august 10th and he freezes it the 3rd that chicken will not spoil in the freezer, it will only get freezerburn. I have eaten chicken I put in the freezer nearly a year ago and it's no different in taste. You can anyway smell immediately if chicken is old, it stinks so bad. That chicken is 100% trustworthy to eat unless it's been stored for years and got freezerburn or RT has a broken freezer.
Dan I want my pizza
Keep suffering
We want our pizza
Give him pizza
Give him his pizza
Dan please, for the love of all things holy give me my pizza
Dan throwing out "expired" oregano but not the expired chicken is making my brain melt
It's because the Oregano wasn't frozen, duhh. :')
They were both good xD frozen stuff lasts VERY LONG, as does dry stuff (spices, oats, etc)
I love how happy Dan looks during the whole thing. He might not know how to cook but his heart is in the right place.
...just like the actual Linguini...
He a lil confused but he got the spirit
Dan is the kind of father to say he has something really special lined up and it's just him taking us to the shops to get a single packet of sweets
From ordering pizza to making pizza. One day he's gonna break Twitch records by pouring a glass a milk without spilling it, and then stream ten hours of grass growing.
I'd say 10 weeks of grass growing; gotta get those views
10 years touching grass
I felt physical pain when you started """"kneading"""" the dough
I gotta make it a round circle!
Expectation: 🍊
Reality: 🟠
As an American, listening to Dan quickly spout off nonsensical conversion rates to measure stuff made me understand how we sound to literally everyone else in the world.
I don't know if I'm more surprised that Dan didn't know what kneading meant or that a mozzarella bag contains water
they contain what?
Thats because he bought normal mozzarella and not chemically dryed one
Its obvious how good a chef he is because he didnt even need to read the recipe beforehand. What a culinary god.
My parents used to own a pizzeria, and we’ve been making our own pizza nearly every week for years now. Every second of this video caused me great agony
Dan, 180 grams of ONLY WATER is 180 ml of ONLY WATER. It DOES NOT APPLY TO ANYTHING ELSE. (It technically doesn't even apply to water because it's more like 0.99987 liters per kilogram but oh well)
lol, i was yelling at the screen when he was saying the cup was 30 ml so it was 30gr, like... that's not how it works.
To be fair, most organic compounds are about 1 gram per milliliter. It won't be exact, but it's roughly the same.
To be fair any liquid used in cooking is like 90% water so it will be about 1g/ml too
@@ironpro7217 except for oils, since those are both a liquid and not at all water
@@PGraveDigger1 that's just not true. Sugar is almost twice as dense as flour, if you want 300g flour and 300g sugar and end up with 300g flour and 520g sugar, that will totally mess with your hypothetical cake
I love the part where chat was actually helping by saying "salt" and "pepper" because OBVIOUSLY RT thought it was replaceable with any other spice
Hey Dan. To explain why the pizza was very strong in Olive Oil flavour; extra virgin olive oil is the stronger tasting stuff. Next time you attempt making a pizza, I suggest using light-tasting olive oil, which is also perfect to cook meat with if it’s using low temperatures
I pride myself on being a fairly good home cook.
Watching Dan try to develop and proof the dough is wonderful.
I’m a homecook, but I still have yet to develop and proof my own dough.
…
At least I know HOW to though, lol.
I just love how Dan has fully embraced the fact that he's chat's dad, "we're having a fun afternoon with your Dad" I cant with this guy 😂
As a former professional cook, this hurt. As a forever viewer of this channel, this was delightful!
I read that as "former viewer" and thought, 'Yeah, that's fair.' XD
@@normalotaku6022 wait it doesnt say former?
What I love about Dan’s metric solution using Cups is that it only works for water. The conversation of mL to Grams is designated only for water and therefore all measurements made using that are just off
@@GombySprangster I know, I feel so ashamed. I can’t believe I just came in with all that negative energy from the hate I gave off.
I suppose as long as you're making something where everything has the same density, it doesn't become a problem, until it does.
From now on, all RT cooking streams are legally required to have at least one (1) Cakejumper present to supervise
Is that who that is?
@@ytuser4562 I don't remember if she shows up in this pizza video, but Cakejumper (same name on Twitch and UA-cam) is one of RT's Irish friends. She the short lass who does a lot of baking streams and she's been in RT's previous cooking/baking videos, such as the car Kirby cake and the caterpillar cake
@@ytuser4562 No, the one behind the camera in this stream is Kelli/QueenRowlet. Cake would be several brands of horrified if she saw him make pizza this way, almost certainly.
@@Loop_Kat I think those were filmed after this, since someone asked him whether he'd learned to knead yet on one of those streams, and we found out here he didn't.
@@techno1561i wouldn't blame her either
the fact that he chooses violence at every opportunity, yet when the time comes to mash and beat up some dough he gently pats it instead
Dan, we love your dedication. But delivery would be a lot less stressful
Did you see the last time he tried to get delivery on stream?
Well….I mean we’re talking about Rootin tootin “drift king” Dan here
Are you sure? Remember what happened last time?
Why would you need delivery when you can have Dijornos?
You'd think that, but he tried that already, and it wasn't.
Judging from how RT opened the mozzarella I conclude that he has never seen a kitchen or a camping grill, let alone a play-set of a kitchen
Me: What could possibly go wrong? It's just pizza.
RT: What's kneading mean?
Me: Oh shit-
Everyone's (rightly) talking about the kneading and throwing away the origano, but I can't get over the fact he bought the CORRECT type of mozzarella but didn't know they come in with their water.
Him not kneading the dough to not letting it sit gave me anxiety but his quips and personality made it bearable lol. I wonder how it tasted tho...
If it was someone else this video would've been absolutely miserable
Judging by his reaction at the end:not good
I want die ate it and that's why he wants to die
Taste wise probably passable but I'm sure the texture was insane, the dough barely had any gluten development.
salty i imagine
As a certified baker, Iḿ crying so hard
As a certified cryer, I'm morbing so hard
As a hobby baker/Ooni owner with a thing for bread doughs and the like, I'm right there with you.
As a uncertified baker, I'm shitting my shorts
International keyboard moment
pain
RT: "we're supposed to be having fun. This is fun"
Chat: *strapped down in a chair, stressed and trying to escape*
I'm just now realizing that not everyone learned the fundamentals of baking as a kid, but I'm fucking cackling
Worked at a pizza place, just smiling through the suffering, from the "kneading" to not proofing to pressing it out on a wood cutting board to the unseasoned sauce...
Anyway good job Dan.
Dan let his intrusive thoughts win and ate raw pizza dough 😭
man's gonna get e coli from raw flour 😭😭😭😭
You can eat raw pizza dough lol it's just not reccomended for taste
@@funkywunkywunker Naw, raw flour is still raw, and raw things ain't very safe. Sure most of the time you won't get ill, but there's a chance, so it's better to just not do it.
@@ravenanne1734 How about raw fruits, vegetables, nuts, or something like carpaccio or sushi?
RT have you ever cooked or watched someone cook or been a human being on this planet before?
honestly, i have a friend who grew up with a single father and he never baked anything because he had no time so he only learned baking in school
Not likely
Evidence leads me to believe that no
this is what happens when you destroy too many cities and blend too many babies. PSA.
Yes, but unfortunately it was Kevin's Baking Bad series.
This is actually great because it emphasizes the need for a high degree of specificity in directions.
I was terrified the moment RT said he didn't need to clear the flour from the pan. If you didn't know, flour is extremely combustible. I knew he'd probably get rid of it, but the instinctual fear was intense
He nearly ate a poisonous flower in a stream, now he nearly burned down his kitchen what is next?
@@Mendoza-yi6qk i know this is 5 months old but now i need to know when did he nearly eat a poisonous flower???
@@DecayOpossum during the date with his twitch channel, it is a video
@@Mendoza-yi6qk ohhhh i forgot about that. thanks!
On the other hand, the oven exploding would be very in-character for an RT stream
This is what happens when Remy isnt controlling him anymore
This was great but there were also parts where I genuinely wasn't sure if you were taking the piss. Undoubtedly the best pizza video i've ever seen
There was a solid minute during the ‘kneading’ I was like “Is this a joke? Am I the fool?” It truly broke me.
RT needs to play the Papa restaurant games. There's so much chaos that goes on in the average day
Papa's Sworderia makes particularly yummy food
Papa's Burgers with a 20ft tall tower of mayonnaise 😋
@@steveradroach9101 ### burger!!!!!
Can’t believe we let this Irish Canadian guy claim he was Irish for this long. He doesn’t even use metric. What’s next? He pays someone a compliment without using a swear? Jesus Christ just the thought…
I mean, the copious amounts of alcohol in the kitchen makes up for it.
I read this in my normal internal voice (American accent) and then somehow the Irish anger of the comment shone through enough for said internal voice to fully switch to an Irish accent
@@varogoth Copious amounts?! I saw three bottles, tops. The clear bottle's just tonic water.
@@varogoth Copious for who? AA member?
he's not even 100% Irish
I need this video fully captioned with notes on everything Dan did wrong
Could we make a list of what he did right instead? That's much, much shorter!
Watching this man try to figure out what kneading dough is the best entertainment I’ve ever had.
Wow. Thank you for this. I cannot explain how much confidence this just gave me. I DO, in fact, know how to cook, apparently, because this made my brain melt. Very entertaining, but please know that I absolutely do judge you, very strongly, for not knowing what kneading is. I hope a random stranger you'll never meet in your life, who also doesn't cook for himself when he absolutely should judging your lack of kneading skills weighs on you. Heavily.
Quick reminder: This man has played Cooking Mama on stream before. He has kneaded dough in that game multiple times. Somehow he blocked all of that out to the point of not having even a sliver of a memory of what kneading is.
I'm so distracted by how handsome Dan is I'm completely excusing the bad cooking
Dan trying to "knead" the dough was truly chaotic on stream. The whole chat was screaming at him lmao
I make a homemade pizza every week. This video makes me want to tape my process and send it to you. I died when you tried to make the dough
Hey if you do, I'd be down to watch it!
How does he not know what kneading dough is? Or that it’s supposed to rise? Or that you don’t put flour on the damn baking trays?
I'm sorry you don't cover the tray with flour?
It's on a knead to know basis
Simple he never made nor was taught how to make dough before
He's never made food in his life
Truly we dont know
Dan's a real tesco lad, so much of his kitchen contains tesco products and spices especially. Just been making pasta and used a bunch of our tesco spices from our huge spice shelf
Watching this man say that Pizza Hut is premium pizza is kind of like a fever dream I once had.
Hey RtgameDad. honestly these dad videos help me so much. i don’t have that great of a relationship with my dad, so having an internet dad really helps me :) thanks for being a mediocre dad who gives extra cheese!
damn i wasnt gonna say anything but same
I highly recommend a channel called "Dad How Do I". He's the undisputed internet dad imo. He helps those who don't have anyone to ask questions you would usually ask your parent. Heard of the dude a while back, idk if he's still going but I'm sure his backlog of content would help anyone some way or another
Finally, another episode of Baking Bad. Been waiting a long time for this
Dan not knowing how to kneed is probably the funniest thing ever
As someone that studied food tech and makes pizza every other week, this brought me more agony than playing through blue lions in three houses
what’s wrong? Hunting by Daybreak is the beeeeesssttttt
"The pizza just doesn't run out!" That's because nobody wants to eat it, Dan. They just pass it around like a hot potato. XD
“The dwarf bread was brought out for inspection. But it was miraculous, the dwarf bread. No one ever went hungry when they had some dwarf bread to avoid. You only had to look at it for a moment, and instantly you could think of dozens of things you'd rather eat. Your boots, for example. Mountains. Raw sheep. Your own foot.”
As a pastry chef.... I'll be willing to give Dan my certificate, just to MAKE. HIM. STOP
Next time the husband complains about how I cook, now I have something to show him. Thanks, Dan! It takes a special kind of person to make me feel confident in my cooking skills, and you have done marvelously.
Just dump the husband *jk
My girlfriend periodically sent me timestamps of this video to watch and every time I could feel Dan's sanity slipping more and more
As an Italian myself, who has a real dad who knows how to make delicious pizzas, I didn't know it was possible to get this frustrated over Dan making pizza
"150 mL is 150 grams" made me curl up and sob
Rt i genuinely do not know how to describe what watching you make this pizza has done to me. It physically pained me but was also the best thing I’ve watched today,, also I’m pretty sure the ominous oven noises were just the pans warping from the heat. Could be wrong but it’s happened many times to my poor long suffering cookie sheets.
I'm glad the magical spice cupboard bit made it in- I feel like twitch chat didn't appreciate it enough
The moment I saw him set down the raw flour instead of a bowl of dough that had been proofing for an hour already, I knew we were in for a special experience.
The chat McDonalds lore continues,can’t wait until we force rt to get another happy meal
I think there's Pokémon cards in them at the moment, so now is as good a time as any!
I want those chicken nuggets Dan 😭
We never got our first Happy Meal after the Nuzlocke race :(
Why get it when he can make it himself?(End my suffering)
or make a happy meal. imagine him making the box with cardboard
18:14
I just love how the glass jumped in fear when RT put the pineapple on the cutting board.
Dan with a knife is concerning.
Dan having a spice drawer yet not knowing how to knead is just.. killing me
Why does Dan remind me of a praying mantis so so much? Especially when he’s kneading dough.
Because he looks like one
Oh no, poor guy will never be able to get laid.
i dont know dude
actual bugman. i strive to have this demeanor
-love that there are four replies and i can’t see any of them-
As someone who works at a bakery. Him "kneading" hurts me physically.
i have never seen chat so frustrated lol
I'd love to see Dan on any sort of competitive cooking show it would be a disaster
You don’t think the judges would like his poop soufflé?
when he opened the fresh mozzarella over the cutting board and spilled the water everywhere... i think that killed me
you know it's gonna be bad when dan thinks 2.5 teaspoons is a tablespoon rather than 3, not to mention his "kneading". It's so beautifully bad. Like watching a car crash you just can't look away from
Y'know, there really isn't anything embrassing about not knowing how to knead dough, sometimes it just never comes up in your life.
That being said, watching RT try to knead dough like a cat made my day
dan's streams are usually very calming for me but this was the first one that really stressed me out. i am only halfway through the video
(thank u still dan for all the vids)
Never really had a dad growing up but I like to imagine it’s like this.
Dan taking a bite of his pizza then chasing with whiskey on the rocks is very telling of how good the pizza is