I THOUGHT I WAS READY! Ren - Suicide REACTION
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- Опубліковано 30 тра 2024
- @RenMakesMusic has got us all crying and pondering death and life in this one!
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Original Song:
• Ren - Su!cIde (Officia... - Розваги
![[柴犬ASMR]曼玉Manyu&小白Bai 毛发护理Spa asmr](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/0TsXQ7z2Dh4/mqdefault.jpg)
This is the best reaction to this song. I respect fact that you broke down, gathered yourself, then continued to break the lyrics down. All while continuing to try to lift everyone up and helps them understand how important their life is on this earth.
I was once on the precipice of ending it all. I had the note, the plan, and the motivation. I was ready. Then one intrusive thought worked its way through all of the darkness. The idea of saying goodbye to my brother was something that i couldnt handle. So i called him and told him exactly what was happening. We cried together.
That next morning the sky was bluer. The trees were greener and the world smelled fresh. I had a different outlook on how the day might play out.
I still struggle. But I know I'll make it.
You will too
💝
Thank you for sharing with us, my brother. I am also a survivor of suicide, both as a victim and as a participant. I have survived 30 years after and while I may not have those dark thoughts anymore, that confusion and hurt, I never forget the pain, the pain and darkness that led me to that choice, that seemingly impossible choice. It was compassion that saved my life and so I pay it forward by being compassionate with everyone. Much love and peace to you, brother.
@@LiannaBabeli And that compassion you show to others, has been shown to many more because of you. Compassion and kindness are the greatest tools against the darkness.
What a powerful and beautiful comment!!! Thank you for sharing this!!! Several things here that I cherished. One being your courage to speak up. The power in relationship and a caring hand. The way you described the colors being brighter. Beautifully described and so very true. And ending with an honest, realistic yet hopeful conclusion. Thank you for sharing this. I hope many read it
@@rosalieelliottofficial Thank you! This song has made me contemplate that period in my life. And I appreciate Ren and yourself for making me revisit it.
I talked to my brother this morning and explained the video, Ren, and the thoughts and feelings it brought up. I apologized for the pain he had to go through watching me in that moment and I thanked him for sticking with me.
It's beautiful what 1 song or moment can do for someone.
Ren did a 2.5 hour Twitch today because he was worried about the effect this video was having on everyone and because he heard we were all worried about him. He seems very happy and doing well. What an extraordinary human being❤
I’ve tried looking up Ren’s Twitch account but can’t find it - do you have the name of it for me please?
@@sharronferreira6420 renmakestwitch
Thanks for the update he's to prescious to lose!
I managed to log on to twitch - OMG - it was 2 hours but went so quickly . His two freinds who were visiting from the UK Sam and Josh who make his vids were on the stream . It started out discussing the video but eventually they had us in stitches - joking and answering the streaming questions. My stomach hurt from laughing and we really get a Sense of who Ren is especially as a friend.
It really was a nice mood shift compared to the new song. The fact that he was thoughtful enough to be concerned about how it might effect any of his fans was very uplifting. Their sense of humor was great, I always love that sarcastic smart-ass type of personality.
You know, i am from Ukraine, and we have war here. And it is not just about suicide for me, but about death by itsef. It helps me alot. I'm going through a lot of things right now. I'm in the army, and i see death almost every day. This music helping me to process all this shit.
Hi, Seeing death makes you realise how quick life can end and how precious it is. I hope after the war you have time to heal and your life is what you hoped it would be. Take care of yourself and I want to say I hear you.
@@deanc486 Sending you love. I promise to continue to do my bit so that we Don't forget. I will pray for you.
Stay strong. My heart breaks for Ukraine. ❤❤❤
My brother, I hope that you live through this horrible event in your home. My love wishes so much to bring you a wrapping and shielding of the darkness and death you are surrounded by. I am so joyful that Ren's music brings you some solace, some comfort, some clarity to your emotions and pain. I stand united with Ukraine. Much love and peace with you brother.
Thank you for suffering so others will not.The world is with you and your nation.
I heard suicide described once as taking your pain away, but giving it to someone who loves you. This hurt.
That's exactly what it does. And you deal with your loss like any kind of loss but you feel anger because you can't grasp how the person didn't understand the pain they would leave behind.
That’s profound and heartbreaking.
This right, without a doubt, but this is something you can’t tell someone with depression, this sentence is such a burden and adds pressure on a person, who is already sick.
@@epicchannel4724 Joyner Lucas has an amazing song from the person who deletes themselves and the close brother who finds them and struggles to deal with it. Its called im sorry
Wow, that hits home, aaaahhhh
This is Ren's signature move: He draws you in and then hits you straight into the heart!❤
Indeed! His ''Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique''!
@@Injektilo44 He will give you a hug on Twitch post-launch however!
Exacxtly that! Incredible and genuine artiest !
So many people overlook his hook, "Falling through the cracks of the night sky, a light goes out on the other side". Makes me think of people who struggle with mental health that fall through the cracks in society. Then end up falling to their death with their light living their body. So tragic and so beautifully written at the same time. Ren is a genius and amazing artist.
It's absolutely devastating that we get overlooked, shunned even, by society when we're at our lowest. Thanks for sharing, I hadn't thought of it this way. You could also read into this as a reflection of the night sky in the water below the bridge. At least that's what I got out of it. That's part of the beauty of his work, I think. There are so many ways to interpret the lines, anybody can get meaning out of it.There is definitely beauty underneath the tragedy.
Absolutely. Way too many people's lights go out because they fall through the cracks of mental health support. I was very nearly one of them
@@Veeliscious Glad you are still here!!! 😁
Also reminded me of Linkin Park’s One More Light.
s @@michaelhales5695 As am I.
I feel so sorry for Rosa, I know what’s coming both musically and her reaction, I could be wrong but I’ve watched enough of her content to know how much she empathises. I’ve been waiting for your reaction since the release, sending love to everyone and remember struggling is not a weakness, it’s an accumulation of being strong (most of the time)
Why feel sorry for an empath? No matter what, they are going to feel deeply. I know I am one. It's a gift from God that often seems like a curse. It's the very bad people that are the worse to be around. Others you may be able to help.
@@jeffstumpf9129Feeling empathy for another human's feelings is connection. Peace, and I wish you a good day.
@Jeff Stumpf clearly because she's had suicidal feelings in that past, and this song will bring that bubbling to the surface no matter how much you've dealt with it.
They have a right to feel however they feel. Let them.
The only thing that stopped me... I looked up and saw the picture of my four kids sitting on my dresser. As much as I thought they didn't need me, I also didn't want a chance of one of them finding me. That led to the thought of .... Who will finish raising them. That led to the thought of.... I will never see them as adults, married with kids.
I stopped not because I didn't want to but because I love them. Now, three are grow and married. I have one still in highschool. I'm glad I was there at weddings, and to see three grandkids born. They are still what holds me here. I can't allow myself to make a permanent decision to a temporary situation. Just my story. Sending love.
Rosalie, my partner of 15 years died a year ago of lung cancer. In the hospice I took a picture of him for his family; his last moments in this world. His picture is earily like the one of Ren at the start of the video. Emaciated and frail, each breath rattling slightly. I freaked out over his breathing and the 'death rattle' effect and called out to a nurse in tears. She had to calm me down and explain that it was a sign he was near death and a natural phenomena--a part of the process. I never want to hear that again in my life. I had forgotten about it till I saw the cover pic for the video. Like Ren misses his best friend Joe, I miss my best friend Damen.
Sorry for your loss.
I've lost the love of my life to cancer in August, 2018. We've met in 2003. and along with falling in love realized we've also became best friends. Being only 18/19 years old, we've had some learning to do about relationships, hardships and life. We've managed to come together through it all. It wasn't easy, but it made us grow and learn about ourselves, about life. After some time we've started to feel like a family. This is the hardest part for me. We couldn't have kids so we were that much more important to each other. He died of colon cancer, but for some reason despite that I still feel guilty for being alive, I also feel like I miss myself, as Ren put it, because for those 15 years of our lives we grew together into people that now don't exist anymore. I feel like I don't even know who me is now. I'm still here because I love my parents and sisters, and making myself NOT be alive anymore would show them that my pain was bigger than my love for them, which it can never be. Through the battle with my husband's cancer I've learned that loving someone makes you the strongest person in the world, and you can do anything to help them and protect them. Now that he is gone, I feelt all my strength has gone. But then one day I heard Ren's song "Fire", and some glimmer of hope that I could be happy again in life emerged. I still feel it. It is faint, but it's there. And I'm working on it bit by bit every day. I hope you can also find love in your life from friends and family and let it help you stay here and put one foot in front of the other, one day at a time.
I am very sorry for your loss :( thank you for being vulnerable and sharing this. I am glad you're here and hope you can heal and find peace.
I am sorry for your loss, no one should have to experience this...
Fucking lung cancer. I lost my dad to it in november last year. He never was a smoker or worked with chemicals or stuff one would usually expect when hearing about lung cancer, just bad luck. Far too young for this illness, only 53. Just paid off our home. What you say about that breathing, it hurt so much to hear that frail, exhausted breathing of the best person I have ever known in his last days. Always thinking about if there were any signs that we had missed, any clue that would have helped identifying it earlier. When we learned about the illness in 2020 it was already stage four. Despite some back pain he never had any issues and doctors always said it should be because of his office job. No one ever tested for lung cancer because he was not in the target age or demographic for this desease. He even went to all of the regular cancer screenings one can take for free with the insurance. It just sucks so much.
@@rosalieelliottofficial Hallo bezaubernder Mensch :) Wir hatten Mal einen kleinen schriftlichen Austausch, du erinnerst dich bestimmt nicht mehr^^ Wollte dir was unglaubliches empfehlen, eine Audition bei America‘s Got Talent, Ihr Name ist Putri Ariani, du wirst sehr positiv überrascht sein, es ist einfach der Wahnsinn. Verfolge die Show seit Ewigkeiten, wollte mit dir diese wundervolle Performance teilen. Bitte schau dir das ganze Video an, nicht nur des Gesangsparts. Ich danke dir herzlich :) vertrau mir, du wirst sehr glücklich auf die Empfehlung sein. Freue mich so auf deine Reaction.
For those not aware of the events behind this song
@RenMakesMusic
And here's (part of) the writeup that Ren shared before the premiere and sent to his email list:
I first met Joe when I was 8 years old, my friend Josh said I had to meet this guy, so we both walked over to his, it took about 10 minutes from my house. I was greeted by this kid covered head to toe in freckles, he grinned at us, climbed onto the back of his sofa and screamed “Swanton Bomb!” then front flipped off the top and landed right onto his back on a stone floor. He lay still for a moment, twitched a few times, then got up, grinned at us, brushed himself off, and did it again.
This was Joe. He’d do anything to make people laugh. He ended up becoming one of my best friends. He was there when we stole our first cigarettes out of his mums pack, way too young. He was there when I had my first kiss, with a girl twice my size on the back of the 42 bus. He was there when I first got so drunk I threw up in the woods after drinking as much white lightning Cider as we could. I was there when he did his first backflip on skates, and saw him do a 720 off of the pier cave, that moment became legendary.
Joe was the funny one in our friend group, he’d make us laugh till it hurt. No one had a bad word to say about him. It was impossible not to like him. Usually we put celebrities, athletes and actors on pedestals, turn them into role models and admire them from a far. The person I admired was Joe.
Him and Sagar knew every word to the songs id write, we’d get drunk at parties and they’d be singing along as loud as they could. It gave me a lot of confidence back then.
On Christmas Eve 2010 I was sitting in a pub with Joe, he’d been feeling low after a couple of consecutive break ups. He tried to check himself into a mental health outpatient facility a few weeks earlier but they turned him away because he didn’t have an appointment. He turned to me and said that sometimes he wished he could just walk into the sea and keep walking. He said it in a kind of half joking throw away comment type of way, then took a sip of his drink, walked over to the juke box and put Dig by Incubus on. If I knew that was the last time I’d see Joe id have hugged him, told him how much I loved him, how much I looked up to him, how much we all loved him, and I wouldn’t have left that pub. I didn’t know that, so I finished my drink, said happy Christmas and left.
Two nights after Christmas I got woken up by a phone call at 3am, it was my friend Ella. She told me Joe was on the Menai Bridge, a large suspension bridge connecting the main land to the isle of Anglesey where we lived. He’d been on the phone to her in tears saying goodbye. He told her to tell everyone he loved them. I pulled on my clothes as fast as I could and started running toward the bridge. It was up a hill. I lived about a ten minute walk away, I could run it in five. As I ran I started dialling then redialing his number. The line was busy, which was a good sign, it meant he was still on the phone to someone. As I got about halfway, the busy tone changed. It told me the line was out of service. I got a sinking feeling and picked up my speed. I arrived to the bridge minutes after I left my house. It was deafeningly quiet. I was the first person to arrive. I got there probably about 2 minutes too late.
Joe’s body was never found.
Initially we refused to believe he was gone. The coastguard came out that night, with boats, and helicopters. Me and my friends spent the next 10 days putting up missing posters everywhere we could, walking up and down beaches with flashlights, getting about 3 hours sleep a night. When you’re walking up and down a beach with a torch when its dark everything looks like a body. We still haven’t found Joe.
As his birthday came around, I wrote a song, freckled angels, a song I dedicated to Joe which I sang in front of his friends and family. A charity football match was put on for him, raising money for the RNLI where I won two bottles of wine in a raffle, I drank them both as quickly as I could, naturally, turned to my friend and probably slurred something along the lines of “This is the last time I ever drink” That was 12 years ago, I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol since.
thanks - he mentioned these events in a couple interviews i think. some more detail for sure here.
Thank you for sharing this. I have been trying to find it.
I can’t imagine running to try and save a friend and not being able to get there in time 😢 that’s so bloody heartbreaking.
No one is perfect; hence even the perfect commit suicide.🙏🏻🇺🇸🇬🇧✝️ Survivor's Guilt is perhaps the heaviest.
Fun fact: Ren wrote the last part of the song after the interview with Knox Hill.
Knox definitely made an impact on him.
Oh really? thats a very interesting bit of information, did he mention that in a stream or something?
@@Spot-t yeah, I can't remember in what other interview he said that, but he did.
@@SR-71BlackbirdA2 Really cool- That verse definitely hit different. Was totally floored by it tbh
I think it’s because the subject of Joe came up, and this was supposed to be the next release. If you read rens comments under the video he said he was dreading the release because he felt the song was unfinished. After the interview he was thinking about joe a lot and decided to add a verse at the end (I can’t say this exactly because I forget where I saw it heard him say that part. It was either IG, twitch or discord haha) he outlines the process pretty specifically. I love how he always puts the context in comments under the video. He always takes the time for that and to put lyrics.
What's so fun about that?
I was 17 and I had a work colleague, a pretty 18 year old girl, that I had developed a friendship with. One Friday she asked me if I’d would go out for a drink. I have always, even then, had a thing about dating people I worked with - I won’t do it. So I said no. Turns out she’d caught her boyfriend in bed with her mother and she wanted someone to talk to. That night she took an overdose of paracetamol. She survived the initial overdose but had destroyed her liver etc and died after two weeks having regretted doing it. It’s 40 years later and I still tormented by how easy it would have been to have just gone for a drink and maybe made a difference.
Ren is our Shakespeare and our Byron, a modern Dylan. We need to treasure him and praise his courage.
Amen
! No more like the welsh poet Taliesin considering Ren is welsh also Wales is the land of song and poetry druids ❤
@@jackieroberts7895 I'd agree if he were performing in Welsh, but then again perhaps not, because I don't understand Welsh!
Ren captures the feeling of being suicidal very well - the numbing monotony of depression, the feeling of muted desperation, obsessive ideation - with railroads being a continuing popular mode of self destruction - he's been there for sure
I love the post that Ren put up when he released the video. When he was at his sickest, lowest point he was thinking about ending things. Someone told him something that really resonated: suicide does eliminate the possibility that things will get worse, but it also eliminates all possibility that things could ever get better. Please be open to that possibility ❤️
I think Keanu Reeves said it best when asked what happens when we die, he replied something like "I know that those who love us will miss us". I think that's the message of this song, that those who love us will miss us and hurt from the loss.
...and some don't while you're alive, then have the audacity to be upset with the one who passed from feeling isolated or not seen.
Our man is a contrary person, his clothing is chavvy (Council House And Violent) typically seen as shell suits and all things Adidas. Everything about his look says stay away, Its his Armour and yet he is so lonely. I had a friend just like him in uni, his Armour was dressing like a skin headed Bovver boy and yet he was such a beautiful soul who filled the room with love and laughter with his presence, he was so very much loved by all his cohorts. I am a deaf person and I called out his BS look on the 1st day I met him and he called out mine! I had no idea up until then just how ferocious that I looked like and how it pushed people away from me, and so we became firm, fast friends.
He ended his life at the end of our 1st year of UNI and it felt like a light had gone out in my world. 40 years this June and it never leaves you, I've never stopped missing him, and I never will.
Rest easy Dave.
I watched this premiere last night. About 3am I woke up because I'd been dreaming about it.
And I realised that FIVE people in my life have taken this step.
I want to say their names now.
JANE, SEAN, PETRA, JAMIE, LEE.
I posted this exact same message on the comments for the song.
Let's hold hands and turn now to the light. Time to dance ❤
Mike, Jay, Finbarr, Michelle, Travis, Matty... i miss you all, we miss you all
Tatiana, Chris, Emily, Jacob, Pierce.... I love you and miss you my sisters and brothers.
I feel like if someone is suicidal the very first thing we should do is start looking for physical causes. Maybe we treat it like stage 4 and bring in an endocrinologist and a neurologist. My father took his own life and I sill think it was parathyroid related. Mostly because his cousin had the same issue and was cured by an endocrinologist (which we found out about later). My father told us for months that ending his life was all he could think about. He was in and out of psych wards trying to find an answer. Desperately searching for help. His medical doctor told him he was lacking in gratitude for the wonderful life he had. His psych docs had him attending group therapy and they put him on one pill after another. The whole experience was so frustrating. I don't blame him for leaving. I don't like to think of it as suicide. But rather a failure in the design of our system that is over specialized with all these different cars and no one in charge of driving the train. Something has got to change. When they give you psych meds for Lyme disease something has got to change. We told my father to focus on the light, his family, the things he loved. He said when he was there in the darkness there was no light. "The light goes out on the other side."
This song hits home. My partner took his own life last july.This song helps me so much.Great reaction Rosa
It's so difficult. If the person you loved got hit by a car them you can rationalise but this is different.
I know what you're dealing with and pray you get strength.
I have been dealing with depression since I was a child. I’m 49 now married 5 kids. They are only thing that keeps me going some days. I don’t feel worthy of them . The world says I’m a weak man if I cry or hurt. But my God it hurts sometimes. I’m proud to be here but it’s hard. I needed to hear your words Rosa. Ty God bless.
you're not weak for crying. you're very strong for how you keep going! don't give up. they need you and you have a purpose. keep choosing life.
Keep strong for you’re kids they’d be lost without you!!
You’re worthy….
We are all so lucky to be alive at this time, take it and embrace you’re life.
Peace x
Crying is far from weak its strength take it from me living with depression for 50 years you are strong they are weak👍always talk then talk some more it saved me and my grandchildren would never have met me and they are everything 👍
I've been dealing with depression too, and borderline, and I know the feeling. I'm 30 yo now, and I have no kids, so I can't feel exactly how you feel but I'd like to say something: For you to hold on, to have strength to live one day at a time, to wake up and just keep fighting, YOU ARE WORTHY! Not only for your kids, but for yourself and for everything the world presents to you. Your life is so difficult I'm sure, I feel an excruciating pain, but I'M PROUD OF YOU for hanging in there everyday, for every breath, and I'm sure you're kids are gonna grow up and see how fucking strong and brave you are. Keep living, for all the love you have in your heart.
@@stormingjales ty very much. They are my life. I hope things get better for you. We gotta keep our heads up. Bless you
I've lost so many. As I get older, it becomes more common to get those phone calls. Although these days it's more natural causes etc. It still hurts.
I lost my first friend to his own hand when I was 16 in the 11th grade. He was a senior. He trusted me. One day he wanted to talk. He seemed serious and I was having a rare good day. I didn't want to talk right then. I had stuff to do. What did I have to do? It was so unimportant, I don't even remember what it was. I told him I'd absolutely talk to him before we left school that day. He left early and I never got a chance to make up for my selfishness. He went home and put a bullet in his head.
I think about it sometimes. I used to think about it all the time. In my mind, I pretend I sat down and talked with him that day. I listened and he gave it another shot. In this daydream I talked him into getting help and I never lost my friend. But reality is so harsh and you always have to face it.
I was selfish and I will always wonder if I could have saved him.
I lost so many friends to suicide over the years. (Depressed people apparently gravitate together) and I tried to take my own life at 18. I almost succeeded. So close. I didn't get to loosen the noose on the rope. I didn't get the chance. It broke. And before it snapped I had so much regret. Not that I would end, but that I would put that pain on my parents. The people that I loved most in the whole world, and I almost did to them what had been done to me.
The pain of the ones who took their own lives never gets less. With natural causes, which still hurts an awful lot, it eventually gets easier. When they leave us by their own hands.... it's so much more to the pain. There's anger and guilt and regret and the knowledge that IT'S TOO EFFING SOON AND IT'S NOT EFFING FAIR!!!!
I'm older and have lost many friends. It never gets easier.
I've been in that hole, where there isn't any visible way out. I have a severe chronic pain connective tissue disorder. I hurt every day. There's no escaping it. I used to wake up and cry because I was still here. Sometimes I still do.
I can't remember where I was going with this, maybe just to say to anyone out there: you are not alone! Reach out. Even if your pain is different... pain is still pain and sometimes a different perspective can shine a light where you couldn't see it before. Please, just know that you are enough and you are loved. ❤
(Oh and Rosalie, when I heard him say double Dutch my heart double-timed.
When I was 18 i tried to hang myself with a cheap-ass nylon/plastic type double Dutch jump rope. It snapped... after I'd had seconds or forever to realize how much I'd effed up. But it chilled me to hear that.
I'm also sobbing. Ren has that effect. My very soul is aching. The world needs to know and see and feel this amazing man's soul. And to know that they/we are not alone and our feelings are valid and it's OK to hurt. And to grieve. )
Sending so much love ❤️💙💜
Sorry for the novel. ♡
Tears can be good for the soul. I had a friend that took her own life at age 16. Now I am a 65 yr old widow. My daughter passed away suddenly 8 yrs ago. My husband lost to cancer during Covid. I trick myself each morning by saying "not today"....I will revisit that thought tomorrow. Sometimes I feel like I have outlived my usefulness. I have cronic pain from 5 spine surgeries that I had back in the 1990's that were all supposed to fix the pain, but only made things worse. Sometimes just knowing that suic*de IS an option, can get me through the long days...longer nights. God bless Ren for hanging in there. Thank you for sharing this and all of Ren's music. He is a wordsmith like none other. ❤
I remember i was taking an abnormal psychology class in college back in 2009 and the the subject of suicide came up. My professor openly talked about his wife committing suicide. It was so sad and chilling hearing him talk about it so openly.
Finally, I get to see your live reaction. Ren got an interview with Rolling Stone, and they posted his entire Hi Ren video. Effing brilliant! Love you Rosalie. ❤
Part of me wishes this song never existed. It hits too hard, too close to home. I wish it never happened to Ren, and as amazing and raw as the song is.... man I wish it didn't have to exist. Another part of me is glad that it does just for the sake of how it affects all of us and those who hear it. Dammit I keep crying to this man's artwork
I love Ren such a great soul so truthful his art comes from a dark place but brings light to the people who need it
I saw your first reaction and this one now.....REN is a genius and he talks about the things we could never articulate....Love from Scotland....
I lost two different close bros to suicide, and I'm so glad Ren not only focused on the feelings of the suicidal, but also those of the ones caught in the wake of what they've done. The thing that was hardest for me, was that for a very long time I couldn't even mourn them because I was too PISSED OFF at them for doing this to all of us whom they left behind. Please, to anyone who thinks they are getting to this horrible place mentally and emotionally, know that there are people out here who want to fight along side you to help keep you here among us. I miss you, Rick and John 😞
I am not able to put even identify, let alone put into words what it is about his whole production of this song, the lyrics, beat, and video are all so well done to capture something that I can't even express. Phenomenal.
I forgot to comment, @Rosalie, I was shocked you got that impression of A.I. . I picked it up right away, and got goose bumps when you mentioned it. Means hope is not lost, you know the truth. Thank you for this reaction we all need it so much.
thank you for reacting to this you are strong and have a beautiful soul sending big love from the UK, Ren is starting a movement of love ❤❤❤❤❤
My previous truly serious relationship ended in suicide. Almost three years, talks of getting a place of our own, a good day of hanging out, ended with a "See you tomorrow". That "tomorrow" that never came is now 25 years in past, but the pain still lingers. That tomorrow was a call from her roommate in the morning, who found her dead in a tub.
The thoughts of "I should've seen something. I should've been able to do something." *still* occasionally bubble up. I doesn't help that I didn't get to say goodbye properly, as her parents took the easy way out and blamed me. I don't blame them for doing that anymore, it was hard for us all, but.. Knowing where she's buried would've helped me back then. Hell, I still bring flowers every year to a memorial to those buried elsewhere, or whatever it's called in English.
It took me a good 10 years to figure out it's not *MY* fault, with the help of therapy, that I couldn't have done anything. I was close to going too, at times. But just like Ren, it never felt like the right time. I didn't commit. Therapy saved me from following my ex. Now, I'm happily married with 2 kids, 4 and 1-years-old. And a lovely wife that understands *why* I need to go to the memorial every year.
Please, please, PLEASE, ask for help and don't become a statistic.
The pain never truly goes away. The dance gets easier, feeling comes and goes, but it's always present. In the silent moments, in the small things in life.
I find it astounding that anyone would say Ren is advocating self harm! He was so affected by Joe’s loss that he advocates against it! Suppressing people like Ren makes people in need feel alone.
"Along with the sunshine there's gotta be a little rain sometime". Rosie, you are a beautiful bright light - thank you!
I lost my best friend 20 years ago this month and this song dropping yesterday brought back all the emotions I felt. I felt guilty for not being there when he decided to get drunk 3 days before his probation ended...guilty that I wasn't there when he stole the car while drunk and picked up two idiots... guilty that I wasn't there when he told my other friend that he was scared to be outside of jail because he knew he would end up killing himself by stupidity... guilty that I took our time together for granted and didn't tell him how much I needed him... guilty that I wasn't there to drive instead, and knowing he most likely wanted to crash and die at 120 mph because he was suicidal. I miss you Frank...
Thank you for sharing with us, my brother. I understand that guilt and shame and heartache and terror. I am a survivor of suicide, both as a victim and as a participant. I have lost 7 friends, family, to this choice. I have survived 30 years after and while I may not have those dark thoughts anymore, that confusion and hurt, I never forget the pain, the pain and darkness that led me to that choice, that seemingly impossible choice. It was compassion that saved my life and so I pay it forward by being compassionate with everyone. Much love and peace to you, brother.
This one was tough....no doubt. The song starts out about Ren, he said this himself, but then he said that for some reason it felt incomplete. He started with the piano and the first line of that final sequence and said that the rest just kinda poured out of him. The emotion you hear, his tears, the breaking in his voice .... it's all genuine and real. That comes across vividly. Once again, Ren uses the power of his personal experiences and his musical talent to draw an emotional response from the listener. I'll never stop saying this- Ren is Special.
Suicide is the biggest killer of people under the age of 35 and the biggest killer of men under the age of 50. It is the leading cause of death in the UK for 10-19 year olds. If you have friends or family you may think need help, please reach out to them and let them know you love them and try to help them away from the darkness. As Ren says you make your own karma.
I wrote this as i lost a loved one to suicide
6 years different
This time I've learnt just how much darkness I can dive in and survive.
Slowly suffocating under sedation,
"Take this one, it'll help with the thoughts"
Thoughts turn more sinister as I slowly get closer to the light I flick the switch.
I will not go quietly and I will not go gently when you come to take me to you.
I see where I lost you.
Calming water soothe the broken bits of me.
I hear your laugh,
See your smile,
Your beauty blinded me too what was hidden within you.
So darling sit with me.
Let us enjoy this time we have again.
I searched for ways to be whole again and learnt rhis year it will never be.
So I let you rest on me again.
Pour the drinks,
Light the cigars.
Inhale the familiar scents,
Hold onto the memories.
Let my self hit the rocks at full force,
They say griefs a waterfall well if that's true let's feel the spray of icey water on our faces.
You search for the wings from when I was your angel,
All you feel is scars from where they burnt off
I will heal.
I must endure more.
So hold my hands,
Feel the fear within me.
Powerful. I envy people who can express their emotions and thoughts with beautiful words. I've always struggled to find words to describe what I'm feeling. Recently that has been much more difficult. I was in a car accident and suffered a Traumatic Brain Injury. Sometimes I can't put a full sentence together. I get frustrated and to paraphrase, The more Ridgid I become the harder it gets. But man, sometimes I just don't know how to relax.
@MrNiccholas sometimes all we need is something to shift the focus, and hope you get all the support you need. Thank you and it took me a lot of therapy and meds to finally be able to express feelings
There are so many double meanings written into this song. "Treading down tracks in the nighttime" means walking on train tracks at night when the train can't see you. If you choose to not move out of the way, it's over. It also means listening to and writing music late at night to deal with the pain.
Then the line about looking down into tranquility. It means both tranquility for his friend, knowing his struggle is over. But it also means that seeing the water and how peaceful it looked was alluring to Ren and tempted him to follow.
The whole song is a masterpiece.
This one definitely tore me open. It’s got to be therapeutic to get it out and make the pain into something you can see and hear and maybe even touch, in a way.
My mother committed suicide a few years ago. I was the one to find her and break her ribs performing CPR trying to bring her back to me. It’s a pain I wouldn’t wish on anyone. I know there is no going back to the naive, carefree person I was before that. I don’t blame her. I blame me, because we always do, right? What if, what if, what if.
I have no words of wisdom. All I have is this place in my heart that bleeds for everyone left behind when someone you love ends their life.
Thanks to Ren for reminding me to feel. I think I turn it off a lot just to “fake it til you make it”. I find that when I listen to his music, it resonates so much that it just breaks open that brick wall I use to hide the fact that I’m a human being with human emotions and I just cry. And even though it hurts, it also feels better to remember.
🙏🌹
Thank you so much for sharing your story, my sister. I live with pain like yours, every day, as a suicide survivor and victim of suicide. Much peace and love to you, sister.
@@LiannaBabeli thank you so much. Much love back to you. Even though I never got to the point of actually attempting to kill myself, I had so many moments, minutes, hours, days, months that I felt like I didn’t want to be here anymore, until I read an article that basically said that most people with suicidal ideation don’t actually want to die, they just don’t want to hurt anymore. I don’t know why that resonated with me so much, but it did. I realized that I didn’t actually want to die. There was so much I wanted to see and do with my life, I just didn’t want to be depressed anymore. I had really resisted medication up to that point because of the struggles my mom had (she was schizophrenic) in never finding the right combination and half the time those meds made things worse.
I am on an antidepressant now, but more importantly I see a therapist that I adore and that has changed so much for me. It certainly doesn’t fix everything, but it helps me keep things in perspective.
Thank you for sharing your kind words. They mean more than you know. Sending you all the good vibes sister. ❤️
Years before I got the pleasure of stumbling onto Ren's music, I was taught to live on purpose by my oldest son. He's got duchenne muscular dystrophy, and eventually the muscles that control his heart and/or lungs will atrophy, and his life will end. He was given 25 years when he was diagnosed at age 5, and this year he will be 29. It's our hope that we gave him more years because we didn't let him become obese. But knowing he was going to have such a short life really brought my own life into focus, and how fleeting it was going to be. His legacy is teaching me to live on purpose, not to just go through the motions, but to put life into my life, so I'm not just surviving.
Looking forward to this. Rosalie rocks 🎉❤
The light in the night sky was a beautiful line for me - I always dreamed of the city lights as a kid and when I (now living in one) look out I find comfort in the skyline with so many lights. The anonymity of it, the realization that no matter how big my troubles are I am just another small light in an apartment along with the 100,000s more. But there are times that same comforting thought can be uncomfortable - when I move from being alone to being lonely, when I am in my darkest of darkness's, thinking about how many there are how insignificant it would be if I did... So that line just gave such a mass of visuals and memories of moments, good and bad but all somehow calm even if heavy.
Thanks Rosalie, I couldn't wait to see your reaction. I shared the following with Ren and thought I would post it here in the hope that it may help others "Dance in the Light"...
When I was 18 I lost my girlfriend to suicide shortly after we broke up. In her case it was a building not a bridge. At her funeral I hugged and cried with dozens of her high school friends and family, everyone saying how shocked they were. I wasn't. I carry that pain with me every step I take in this world. At first I barely could exist. I learned when the pain would hit the truth of taking things day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute and even moment by moment. Over the years I have learned how to channel the pain for good, to try and be a better friend, a better husband, a better father and a better person. Every single being on this planet has value. Everyone. You may not know it in the moment. You may doubt your value. You may hurt in unimaginable ways. But you do have value. Every life touches others in ways we each may never know. If you are hurting, please be empathetic with yourself. It is only in finding the empathy towards ones own self that one can truly find empathy in others. And the world needs you. The world needs every bit of empathy you can give. Thanks Ren. I have no doubt your journey is helping countless lives. Salute and Peace.
thank you for sharing your story and encouraging us to choose life.
Thank you for sharing with us, my brother. I am so glad you have found a way to take that pain and make it work for you positively. I agree with everything you have said. I am a survivor of suicide, both as a victim and as a participant. I have survived 30 years after and while I may not have those dark thoughts anymore, that confusion and hurt, I never forget the pain, the pain and darkness that led me to that choice, that seemingly impossible choice. It was compassion that saved my life and so I pay it forward by being compassionate with everyone. Much love and peace to you, brother.
Been thinking about it since i was 12 and now I’m 32 and this song opened my eyes in a perspective I’ve never thought off
Thank you so much Rosalie!❤
I was so touched by Ren's video. I can't put it in words.
It hurts but it's so important to allow these feeling and to talk about them.
I lost my husband and my father. Both comitted suicide.
I feel nearly nobody has courage to talk with me about it, because people don't want to get in touch with the 'dark' side.
As if it would be contagious...
and maybe it is in some way, because deep down they sense, that it is in them too... but they manage to keep it burried.
But we, who are having these thoughts and those who have lost someone NEED to talk about it. Without putting it in pink wadding.
a very insightful reaction rosalie to a powerfully emotional song thank you much love ❤
He wrote the song "Freckled Angels" for Joe and sang it at his funeral. You can find a video here on UA-cam with Ren singing it live only 8 months after it happened.
Many friends I have lost throughout the years of my life, Drugs, accidents, suicide also yes.... took 4 minutes to remember each and everyone and just cry like a kid. Ren man..... your soul is a hope that there is still hope. Infinite Thanks to whatever highier power gave you this talent, choose you to exist and spread your message.
i havent lost anyone to suicide, but i lost someone close to me to drink, she drank her self into an early grave, we put her through rehab 3 times but she treated it like a summer vacation. i came to realise that no matter that what we tried to do for her it wouldnt have helped and that it was her way out. sometimes all the help in the world isnt enough and its a very difficult pill to swallow.
Rosalie I'm glad Ren led me to you. This song had me sobbing, as I was one who was too late to save a friend and mentor in 2010.
It didn't matter that he'd always said that was the way he was going to go in all the years I knew him. It didn't matter that he wrote us each a note explaining that there was nothing we could do.
It still felt like my fault. We searched for what felt like an eternity that weekend after finding the note, dozens of us. He likely was gone virtually straight away, he was a surgeon and knew an extremely quick and painless and virtually irreversible option. He picked a spot where he'd be hard to find in those few crucial moments.
I stopped at my parents briefly to recharge my phone after being out searching. A breaking news report came on about a suspicious death of a man in his 20s, with the body found in Kings Park. All I could think is how chuffed Finn would be that someone thought he was that young.
I knew it was him deep down, we all kept searching. Police took a long time to disclose to family his identity, and then for that to disseminate through friends out hunting.
We got a funeral, it was the biggest I've ever been to, with so many people who's lives he touched and made better. I got to place a few items in his casket.
Losing my mentor in medical science meant I dropped out in the last semester of uni. Not his fault I just couldn't see the point. I lost faith in myself. It's been 13 years almost exactly to the day.
I've grown and changed but hope Finn would be proud of the me I've become. I've only been in the place of not wanting to be here a couple of times, and I don't judge Finn for making that choice as he'd been open about it for decades, almost from when I first met him. His funeral showed me that no matter how lost he touched hundreds of unconnected people, and brought us together. I'm glad I ran into him a week before randomly after he came to quieten down a noisy afterparty I'd crashed and joined in. I'm glad a random stranger took photos of that last encounter, with me whisperering a joke in his ear and him laughing spontaneously. I'm glad our last laugh together was documented.
I did close off from feelings. Alexithimia and anhedonia for so long. Getting back in touch with emotions now...
Sincerely sorry that you had to go through that. As someone who was very close to taking that step myself on multiple occasions I know anyone who does that is in deep deep pain. The thing that stopped me was thinking about how it would affect my daughters. I cannot count how many times I made the same prayer Rosalie did for God to o take me. It's something none of us who ever been there will ever forget. But the one thing I've learned is that the same wall that you have put up to protect yourself from your feelings not only keeps out the pain, but all the joy and good and love and life that awaits you. Don't be afraid of it. And it does get better. I promise you🙏
Not related to the song at all, but today I learned that I’m from the same town as Ren because you put the Welsh flag in the thumbnail. Seriously just blew my mind. In a darker note I now have also just realized that I know which bridge he's talking about and I think I know who his friend is that died. That just made this song a whole lot more real.
First time i watched Hi Ren i had a panic attack I have PTSD and many other mental and physical health
issues but thought i needed to watch it again so i watched someone reacting to it that was the best thing
i could do i have watched many times since. One thing i think about the Hi Ren and SUICIDE songs is it needs
to be seen by every one even in schools, because how many children kill themselves because of the negativity
towards them from nasty comments and bullying to them believing what is said. I went through hell, bullied all
through school to the point i attempted suicide twice, if there was something in place for children at that time
and even now how many Suicides could have been prevented. Both these songs open up conversations
helping others to talk about what they are feeling. As for Ads on video's these songs are perfect for Ads on
mental health awareness and help lines for those who need them
This makes me think about Scott Hutchinson, he also wrote amazing upbeat tracks about his own mental health issues 😢💔
I'm a massive fan of Frightened Rabbit and Scott also wrote some fantastic lyrics about depression and emotions. I can't listen to Floating in the Forth anymore as it foreshadows his own suicide. Tragic 😢
So there is a strong determination that I always pick out of ren's beats, it's a solid feeling of determination and intent that I get which to me is uplifting.
"never really felt like the right time" ... but then, they find the time - whoever they are. For me it was my best inpatient friend. We made a deal, a pact. She carried through one day early, called me to apologize. Too late. This really cut deep. Ren is speaking for so many of us. A light goes out on the other side - that place where you may as well be d*ad. The other side of "this".... being in that place of wanting to leave but not having the guts, not finding that time.... and then someone else "beats" you to it... drops over the edge, falling away and you wish you were with them. But you're not. And you miss them but you miss yourself and it's too late because you're... nowhere. 30 years later and I'm with you, Ren. More than you will ever know.
This one absolutely kicks me in the heart with every watch.
I lost my mom to suicide, I found her and I was 18 years old. She never got help, I never got support or follow up from society after that happend. The subject of what happend to my mom still comes up when meeting new people. I always feel like I make people uncomfortable when being honest about what happend. So yes. Youre absolutley right, mental illness and suicide must be talked about alot more. ❤
Ren helps me to know I can relate to his music and his lyrics and people need to stop being so sencerd to words like suicide or self harm its real life
Your empathy is palpable, Rosalie. ❤
as most people here, this song hit me hard, my dad lost his life in 2011, and I hold the same regrets he does as the last conversation I had the night he died, was an argument of a stupid teenager rebelling against his dad. It haunts me every day. Its hard to understand if I was the extra step of a bad night or a misplaced argument in his weak moment. But I don't hide from my pain but share it with others because I have a family 2 kids and I will keep going and do what I can to show my kids that life is worth everything. I deal with anxiety and depression daily and I am my biggest enemy, but I know I am not alone and hearing songs like this reminds me of that. We have to keep moving forward, we have to show the world we can grow and become stronger.
Thank you. Great reaction. I’ve lost two loved ones to suicide. A family member and a close friend. This hits close to home. I know what it feels like to be JUST too late. Those of us left living need to put in work to help save those that need saving. But at the same time, it’s not our fault. We can only do what we can do. All we can do is love one another.
Beautiful and authentic reaction. Thank you ❤❤sending hugs to you as well as Ren❤❤
I've legit wanted to die several times. I've never really made an actual attempt, because I was too much of a coward, or so I thought at the time. If I had tried, and had been successful, I would have never met my soulmate, I would have missed so many beautiful moments, I would have also not cried so much, and avoided days of feeling my heart as a knot, a fire in my lungs, and tears just rolling down my cheeks without reason, because that's what depression is, but I swear that even during those days, I'm SO GLAD I am alive. Not to say that it's easy, I'm still very much struggling, but I don't want to die, not anymore. So, if you reading this, are thinking about it, please keep existing, just one more day. And then maybe another. Try to hold on for as long as you can. Because it does get better. It gets better, then it gets a bit worse, but then it gets better again. I won't tell you it's easy, because it's not, but what I'll tell you is: think of the happiest moment of your life. That will not be the happiest you'll ever be, if you let your life continue. I promise you this. If not for all the people who would be devastated, even if you think you're alone and nobody cares, trust me, there are people who care, even if they don't even know you, they might read about your story and be sad, but even if it's not for them, please stay alive for you. For me. For the world, because if you're hurting this much it means you're a beautiful soul, and we need people like you. Please don't let your light go off.
When he says I tried to cut away my bitterness-hatchet job it hit me hard. I’ve tried to ‘cut’ away my bipolar issues so that line really resonated with me. I’ve lost 4 friends to suicide. It breaks my heart.
My best friend committed two weeks ago. This is the ninth day of me knowing. I understand that song better now; I just hope I won't always feel this numb.
Viewing from Denmark.
This is one of the most important tracks he's made, by far.
So real and raw and vulnerable. Drenched in tears, but I keep replaying this song.
The way this shows the pain and feelings of futility - and the distorted vision of the person in pain- The upbeat tempo reminds me how a person who has made the decision is upbeat because they mad the decision- this could be such a tool to broach the topic with a person in crisis or to show the loved ones who don’t understand. ❤❤❤
So now I actually watched the entire reaction. Brilliant as always. I have watched a lot of people react to this, and in reading the comments, it is obvious Ren is helping a lot of people. He is also making a lot of people realize how much they matter and how hurtful suicide will be to those they love and leave behind. That realization is what stopped me on multiple occasions. I prayed that same prayer you did, "please God take me" more times than I can count. I just checked and the video is up to over 400,000 views in one day. Ren is doing an amazing healing job with this. I think he is the most brilliant artist working today.
This is art in it’s purest form - I want to thank artists like Ren and NF, from the bottom of my heart, for being so brave and vulnerable, shining a light on the spot of pain, that we just can‘t seem to see, when we‘re deeply in it and overwhelmed by it - it connects ❤️ it leaps over every difference that exists in this world. Culture, religion, gender, age, colour. It let‘s us feel understood and not alone, even though it made us isolate ourselves at the same time. And after all, this is the deepest and purest way to connect with people, I have ever known, beside love. Love you guys ❤️ stay safe 🙏🏽
#ren #renmakesmusic #suicideprevention #suicideawarness #depressionhelp #pain #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #love #nf
Ren Illuminates the landscape of despair that casts permanent shadows over the victims both living and dead
I like to look around cemetaries, to read the gravestones, it's a peaceful place, a place to remember many things, and a reminder that life is for the living. We are a long time dead.
We all cried last night. This song shows that suicide is devastating even years and years later. I'm sure Joe wishes he was still here. RIP Joe ❤ Forgive yourself Ren man, I know its hard to not blame yourself. xx RIP my brother Mike.
I think of the 1st part the song is how one handles suicide in public spoken without emotion and a worn mask to hide. 2nd part is how one who has become a victim handles copes in private... Suicide not only robs its victims of their childhood it robs them of so much more. Every memory the person was a part of becomes tainted, difficult, taboo, ruined. You could tell a thousand stories about the person, yet every one of them would have the same tragic heartbreaking ending... When 20 years of memories suddenly become Triggers🥺
This song changed me. I have contemplated suicide at times in the past but it was never the right time. There have been debates where people have said suicide is selfish. That always made angry. When you are in those places you are not thinking about being selfish. Its a bombardment of negative feeling to you and your life. This song gave me a different perspective, i no longer feel angry at those people. Thats a conversation that needs to happen.
I love how beautiful your soul is and how deeply you feel the world. You should be given all the gifts of love and community because you have so much to offer
Heartfelt, raw and honest reaction just like his song. Thank you Rosa and thank you Ren ❤❤❤
I had my best friend come into my restaurant to say goodbye and to take care of his 2 boys. It broke me! I spent 30 mins crying in the walk-in. Then I called his mom. She called his father who luckily found him trying to hang himself. The last part of the song hits hard!! Thinking if I didn't make that call I would be without my best friend. He is doing great now and I'm so happy for him!!! I shared this song with him and he was super worried about me. We all have people that care about us!!!
I'm 43 and I began self harming. Cutting to be a hunnid. Scared to live and scared to die. It helps to know I'm not alone even though I knew that.
Thank you to everyone who allowed themselves to be vulnerable..
Hi Rosalie, thank you for your heart to heart reaction.
It is true that ostriching, flooding and faking do not make it go away.
Only suicide, or the courage to start again with nothing but the love you dared ask for. In Afrika somewhere they have a greeting:
"I see you walking".
Thank you, Rosalie, for your thoughtful and heartfelt reaction to this important work of art. I have no doubt that this song will save lives. Ren has touched so many of us in a way that no other artist has. He doesn't shy away from these difficult subjects. He says it right out loud. It hurts, but it is essential to feel that hurt and acknowledge it. I could go on, but I will never express it better than this beautiful artist already has. Thank you again for sharing and promoting this work!💔
Ren saved me coz of off his courage. I am alone family don't love me. I love you so much for your reaction. If we all were not true too the truth we all would be liers. And ren tells us a human reality. F the twigger warning its what we are living as we all human xx well sed
First off as a child I remember my dad trying to unalive himself twice , my 2nd cousin unalived himself, a boy in my class unalived himself, my 1st love unalived himself, a friend unalived himself, my sons friend unalived himself, my kids father attempted it multiple times once in front of me , another friend attempted it but I was there and paying attention so I saved her life, another friend unalived themself, my son attempted it and if he wasn’t found when he was he wouldn’t be here right now. My whole life I have been tortured with others unaliving themselves or attempting too. Mental health is just as important as physical health.
It's something I have thought of many times; the incredible privilege of existing as a conscious being, aware of our surroundings and life on such an amazing level. The miracle of being 'you'. Not only the chances of the specific sperm that pierced that particular egg but also the chances of your parents meeting, your grandparents and before, before, before to the creation of the Universe.... It's impossibly possible and each one of us, everything in existence is so rare and connected. The beauty of that paradox, the yin/yang of everything. Complicated and perfectly simple in an eternal dance... 💖
I haven't even watched this reaction yet while posting this comment. But I have seen the video and I know this is going to hit you very hard. I also know it is one of the most important videos that Ren has made so far. Just know we all ❤ you Rosalie.
I lost both my brother in law amd father to this and the hurt never goes away.
you are so empathic, that's a treasure.
Ren’s courage to talk about the taboo gives hope for those contemplating suic*de or have lost loved ones to the pain to understand that we all lose something of ourselves when someone passes away.
Thank you Ren and Rosalie! ❤️ The darkness was too much once. But we're here. There's a reason. ❤️🩹
Intense and hits home.Thank you for this honest and true reaction. I am just now discovering Ren and I cannot stop listening.
Everything you said after the 400 trillion statistic I really needed to hear today. I cried. I just ended a 19 yr relationship 2 days ago because we weren't good for each other anymore. It was an amiable split all things considered, but I have really been struggling feeling not good enough, feeling broken, or unworthy. I'm not in a suicide place right now, thankfully, but I needed to hear your words today. I saw you gave a heart to another comment of mine and I thank you very much. I don't want to just post a ton of comments, but thank you for this video and thank you for your words of love and acceptance. Even if we are just internet strangers, those words hit me. ❤❤
He is genius and I agree with every single word you've said. I actually understand it all very well because my clinical depression often pushes me to the edge but at the same time what makes me so strange to others is that death is my aesthetics, it always was this way, and more than that I fight with that fatal feeling because of my wish to reach some level of immortality. Literally. Also please don't cry. You're such a beautiful soul, girl. We all suffer in different ways...
I think it's really interesting that the music is so upbeat and the topic and lyrics so grave. Ren described the friend this song is about as "the funny guy" of the friendgroup. I feel that this plays into that or represents the happiness that he had portrayed while fighting these unknown battles on the inside...
Death is natural. I appreciate it. Suicide is sad because we imagine how bad it has to be for someone to take there own life, but it is their door to freedom from the pain, so I am saddened but also happy for them as I am happy for anyone who dies. Freedom and bliss await, but are also available here, now. We come from a state of perfection, and into it, we return. This is good news, so be happy. 😊 Some live in this state of perfection while living. "Find what you were before you were born." - Nisargadatta
REN is a genius.
Oh Rosa, bless your heart. I knew you'd do this piece justice. I honestly wasn't ready for it and I should've been knowing Ren's work as I do! But man, this one... Phew. Everything, from the lyrics to the animation to Ren's tears. It was simply sublime and hit me on an almost cellular level. And yes, we have to talk about it; death, however it comes, is part of life, and understanding how we might react to death means taking notice of what's going on around us in life. Not only us but our beloved friends and family, our neighbours... If we have a shop we put a bowl of water outside for Dogs in the summer, we ask that elderly person if they need help with their groceries - we need to remember who we are, and not shy away from the goodness that I believe is inherent in most people. Always tell those you love that you love them when you say goodbye or hang up the phone... Be nosy, ask about someone's day and listen to them tell you about it in all its glory, triumphant or troubled. It matters, it's important. You matter, you're important. Ren matters, he's important.
Much love and thank you for the reaction, beautiful and erudite as always.
"Double Dutch" is also a play on "going dutch" to double pay or double up where both parties pay. Listening to you explain the fibonacci sequence where the preceding two numbers make up the total for the next number makes more sense to me now. It is amazing how because of his rap format and speed and ease with which he speaks that it seems he might just be randomly spitting phrases that come to mind but no. The mortar that binds his lyrical bricks together is stronger than the bricks. His lyrics are masterful but the references and allusions to himself, his previous works, the interplay poetically, linguistically, musically, the combination with the visuals and production, and the connections he makes with the listener/viewer are all incredible. In one phrase "I see the world through Fibonacci Sequences and Double Dutch" we pick out the easy references for Ficonacci Sequences and Double Dutch meaning gibberish but he packs in more. The Dutch optician, Hans Lipperhey invented the double telescope or binoculars which later came to be known as opera glasses. Ren is saying he sees the world through these opera glasses. This ties to the distance you discussed that we feel viewing modern life's stage. Also, he viewed the world together with his friend as a pair and it was like losing an eye, like losing his stereographic vision. Another Dutch astronomer, Christiaan Huygens, invented the pendulum clock, improved telescopes and proposed the wave theory of light. Something is going on with these lyrics: "Oh I, Oh I, Oh I've" -> O I O I O I -> 010101 and almost like the tick tock of a clock or back and forth of a pendulum
I like the "upbeat" nature of the song against the backdrop of such a dark subject. It is catchy and I find myself bobbing to the beat and singing along to the "suicide, suicide, suicide" chorus. But that is the way it should be - we should be open and able to say these painful words without fear or repercussion (you hear that UA-cam). It is important - burying it only makes it run deeper. It is ok to be human again - flaws and all. Thank you, Ren, for helping to show that it is ok to be human again. Keep pushing man!
My 13 year old son died(of natural causes) 12 years ago. After about a year,I said to a friend who also had lost a child~when does the time heals everything part happen? She said,it doesn't. You rearrange your heart,make room there for the grief,and on the days when its unbearable you pull it out,cry,feel it,then put it away. It's about adapting to accommodate what seems like unbearable grief and then going on living and finding ways to be happy and productive despite your pain....
Words of wisdom right there,they got me thru some dark times when I thought I might be better off joining my son(even tho I have 4 other children). I now try to live a life that honors my son,Nathaniels, memory,and makes him proud to look down on me...........