REN Su!cIde Reaction - WOW!
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- Опубліковано 12 чер 2023
- Cedric and Brian react to the latest release by REN. Su!cIde (Suicide) Suic*de
Check out the official video here: • Ren - Su!cIde (Officia...
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I think when he says, "useless my mother", it's like he's saying, "It's useless my mother - I can't keep my food down", because he lived with his mom during some of his worst periods of his illness, and she probably witnessed his struggle with being able to eat much of any food, let alone, keep it down.
Such an important song. I'm so grateful that this subject is being pushed out in the open where it belongs. Keeping it in the shadows only perpetuates the unnecessary loss of lives - bringing it into the light has the potential to save them.
The mother and father part wasn’t about his actual parents, it’s metaphorical - the pain/symptoms are his family. In the previous verse he also says bruises were his sister and brother. Ren has said in a recent interview that he only has a sister and that she is inspirational. He also states that he has a good relationship with his parents and talks about how much they’ve helped him.
Or is it conversation with his parents like " I'm useless my Mother can't keep in my supper" and The truth is my Father..." Just how I took it but you could right.
@Walterooski is the only reactor I’ve heard catch this on their reaction “he’s describing his pain as his family”
@@flea1683 possibly, but I don’t think so. I think he’s describing his pain and symptoms as his family, otherwise he wouldn’t have said bruises are his sister and brother, and truth is his father.
The first part of the song is about REN. The second part when he talks was added recently. He wrote the last part in two hours. That was about Joe. All this was told in a interview. He is in England for video Money part 3. His doctors gave him permission to take a break from treatments
@@camcur55 yup
The 5 minutes earlier was more literal than metaphorical here. Joe had called a Mutual friend as it was happening and said to tell everyone he loved them. She called Ren because he was closest to the bridge, and Ren actually started running there, and he was the first on scene.
poor lad its something you don't fully come back from the guilt from not being stop it from happening all the trauma
My nephew committed suicide about 2 months ago. He was an army veteran and had PTSD. No one knew until it was too late. If you're struggling reach out and get help. Your loved ones need you. ❤
Sorry about your nephew, prayers to you and your family
We hide it, cause we honestly don't want to face it either. We bury our symptoms so no on has to see them, including us. Just wanted to let you know, incase you blame yourself.
Such a sad song. Sadder still is the carnage that is left among the living after an event like this. It stays with you for the rest of your life. 😢
It really does. My husband did it when I was 26...I'm 52 now and it still affects everything I do and makes me very untrusting. I'm so sorry if you have also gone through it.
@Jen Enneper sorry to hear that 😢 I can't imagine how horrendous that must have been 😣
@@jenneper I am so sorry for your loss.
Very well said ❤
Full context and story to this song:
"Today I want to write something beautiful and eloquent but I’ve been staring at my computer screen for the past 10 minutes blankly. So I’ll just write.
Today, the 1st of June is my friend Joe’s birthday.
I first met Joe when I was 8 years old, my friend Josh said I had to meet this guy, so we both walked over to his, it took about 10 minutes from my house. I was greeted by this kid covered head to toe in freckles, he grinned at us, climbed onto the back of his sofa and screamed “Swanton Bomb!” then front flipped off the top and landed right onto his back on a stone floor. He lay still for a moment, twitched a few times, then got up, grinned at us, brushed himself off, and did it again.
This was Joe. He’d do anything to make people laugh. He ended up becoming one of my best friends. He was there when we stole our first cigarettes out of his mums pack, way too young. He was there when I had my first kiss, with a girl twice my size on the back of the 42 bus. He was there when I first got so drunk I threw up in the woods after drinking as much white lightning Cider as we could. I was there when he did his first backflip on skates, and saw him do a 720 off of the pier cave, that moment became legendary.
Joe was the funny one in our friend group, he’d make us laugh till it hurt. No one had a bad word to say about him. It was impossible not to like him. Usually we put celebrities, athletes and actors on pedestals, turn them into role models and admire them from a far. The person I admired was Joe.
Him and Sagar knew every word to the songs id write, we’d get drunk at parties and they’d be singing along as loud as they could. It gave me a lot of confidence back then.
On Christmas Eve 2010 I was sitting in a pub with Joe, he’d been feeling low after a couple of consecutive break ups. He tried to check himself into a mental health outpatient facility a few weeks earlier but they turned him away because he didn’t have an appointment. He turned to me and said that sometimes he wished he could just walk into the sea and keep walking. He said it in a kind of half joking throw away comment type of way, then took a sip of his drink, walked over to the juke box and put Dig by Incubus on. If I knew that was the last time I’d see Joe id have hugged him, told him how much I loved him, how much I looked up to him, how much we all loved him, and I wouldn’t have left that pub. I didn’t know that, so I finished my drink, said happy Christmas and left.
Two nights after Christmas I got woken up by a phone call at 3am, it was my friend Ella. She told me Joe was on the Menai Bridge, a large suspension bridge connecting the main land to the isle of Anglesey where we lived. He’d been on the phone to her in tears saying goodbye. He told her to tell everyone he loved them. I pulled on my clothes as fast as I could and started running toward the bridge. It was up a hill. I lived about a ten minute walk away, I could run it in five. As I ran I started dialling then redialing his number. The line was busy, which was a good sign, it meant he was still on the phone to someone. As I got about halfway, the busy tone changed. It told me the line was out of service. I got a sinking feeling and picked up my speed. I arrived to the bridge minutes after I left my house. It was deafeningly quiet. I was the first person to arrive. I got there probably about 2 minutes too late.
Joe’s body was never found.
Initially we refused to believe he was gone. The coastguard came out that night, with boats, and helicopters. Me and my friends spent the next 10 days putting up missing posters everywhere we could, walking up and down beaches with flashlights, getting about 3 hours sleep a night. When you’re walking up and down a beach with a torch when its dark everything looks like a body. We still haven’t found Joe.
As his birthday came around, I wrote a song, freckled angels, a song I dedicated to Joe which I sang in front of his friends and family. A charity football match was put on for him, raising money for the RNLI where I won two bottles of wine in a raffle, I drank them both as quickly as I could, naturally, turned to my friend and probably slurred something along the lines of “This is the last time I ever drink” That was 12 years ago, I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol since.
My first ever album I named Freckled Angels in tribute of one of the best people I ever knew.
Skip forward some years. I’d been sitting on this song I wrote a few years ago. It always felt a little incomplete. It was going to be my next release, but I was dreading it because of this feeling of incompletion. I decided, very last minute, to do something about it. I sat by my piano, and the rest of the song fell out of me. I hadn’t thought about Joe in a little while, and the song initially wasn’t going to be about him, but the words all fell out of me. I wrote and recorded a whole 2 minutes extra, recording each part as I wrote it. Tears spewing out of my eyes pretty much the whole time, and decided not to do my usual thing of perfecting each line, I just recorded every line as it came."
Thank you for posting the whole story / explanation for the song.
Ren refers to his feelings and symptoms as his family members because they are part of him and just something he has with him everyday, like a family. Useless, my mother, cant keep in my supper, he's simply saying he feels useless because he simply can't get any sustenance from food, which is something people do normally everyday and he can't. Truth is my father, you choose your karma, draw forth the sword and drive through the armour, i think means he feels he needs to just accept the way things are for him as he doesnt see it changing, so he thinks of just ending things, falling apon his own sword of truth.
Very deep lyrics with double meanings which can be expected by this incredible writer at this point. He's just incredible❤
To let that final heartbreaking section run uninterrupted as you did I think says a lot about your intuition and empathy and just general ability to read the room. I genuinely like that reactors stop songs to share on-the-fly analysis and observations ... heck, I can always watch the original video uninterrupted if I want to lol. But the last 2 mins of this song really is the exception, so thank you for recognizing this and for showing dignity and respect by saving your comments on this part to the end. (They were excellent comments too, btw!) Great job.
Yup- any reactor who pauses during the last section has no natural feel for when they should or shouldnt be pausing. Such a critical emotional central part of the song should never be paused during.
You see…we are talking about it.
God bless that precious fearless young man.
To me, he's not saying, "Useless my mother," but rather, "Useless, my mother, can't keep down my supper." Since the line before mentions he can't eat, his body purges, I see his mother as trying to make him eat, to keep him healthy. Then again, I'm a mom, so that's how I would see it, I guess.
That'd how I hear it as well. That said, I'm a mum too. Maybe we just like to feed our babies.
I hear it that way, too. He shares a lot about how his mother cared for him during the worst years. I do not hear the "truth is, my father," as Cedric does and that is certainly my perspective. I think he and his Dad had a rough patch when Dad left. That is my read from interviews, so I heard "You make your karma" as a reminder to Dad and a warning to all of us. It's fun and informative to hear other people's prospective. We all relate to the world from/through our experience.
@@sheilagarricktotally agree with everything said here
This is how I see it as well. Same with the father line, he's talking TO his (a) metaphorical father, "Truth is, my father, you choose your karma." It took a few listens, I was a bit stumped the first time as well, but it makes more sense as a complete sentence.
Exactly as to say it’s useless my mother I can’t keep down my supper as in useless making me any when I can’t keep it down not that his mom is useless
That ending part of this song hits so hard! So sad that he has to live with that regret and they never found his body. Ren is the goat we need him in this world.
Common misunderstanding here. Ren does not call his mother useless. He is telling her that it is useless to feed him, since he can't keep it down. The background is that during his illness, his mother tried everything to find something he could eat. So she is like the opposite of useless and it is a shame if you should come out of it thinking Ren's mother was abusive or something like that.
Thank you.
useless, my Mother, can't keep my supper.
@@joshuawiedenbeck6944 keep in, I think, but yes.
That is literal, but imagine what his mother went through knowing she couldn’t do anything about it. That must be horrible.
@@graceydez6199 Sure, just don't want people to think Ren is saying his mother is useless
I think he's saying to his mother he's useless because he can't keep down his supper
'Useless my mother, can't keep my supper'. He was talking about his body purging food.🇬🇧
This is so heartbreaking, to bare your soul to the world is brave. If you didn’t emote to that last part , you’d have to be made of stone. I truly believe we are witnessing the rise of a generational artist. His body of work is so varied that you can not put him in a box. I pray that he gets the treatment he needs in Canada as just imagine a Ren firing on all cylinders. I just get excited about what he’s going to do next, haven’t felt that way about a musician in years.
I cried the first couple of times that I heard this. This man is such a beautiful poet. I loved your reaction guys!
Much love❤
RIP Joe Hughes ❤❤❤ and for anyone who has lost someone.
And to you
I love how his music makes us all start to ralk and engage, which is actually what we need to do if we are ever going to truly deal with rhe rising numbers of suic*de... Thanks for being part of that and supporting a truly great artist. ❤
That ending too how he begins with breathing really heavy because he knows it going to take a lot to get though those verses. The crying too! Damn..
I've also heard that it is to represent him being out of breath after running to the bridge which if true is a nice touch, but people might just be reading too much I to it.
I think there is a lot of emphasis on the person with mental health problems and not enough of a nod to those who love them and struggle to help them, or for those who are left behind. This is an important angle of mental health and one that has been ignored for too long. This song puts that angle on the table. x
Despite everything I beleive Ren has gone through in life, I honestly beleive he is one of the strongest individuals I have known. He has mental fortitude that rivals most others. Physical pain, suffering and the wrong drugs can push anyone over the edge. Pushing through the pain is the true courageous path to renewal. However you get there, be it faith, hope, love, behavioral support or even physical endurance activities is an act of courage. But never not ask for help when it is offered or available. Sometimes healing is all about getting started down that path and there are those who will help guide you. Bless you two for reacting to this so eloquently.
It is true, he is a very strong individual. It is my belief that most of us are strong, way stronger than we would think - we just didn't have to endure as many hardships as there are needed to bring out our strengt and resilience.
If you read this: you matter to people, you enriched the lives of many people, and you can count on their support whatever the hardship may be you are encountering right now. You are not in alone - being able to ask for and accept help requires more strength than grinding your teeth and trying to solve everything on your own. Ask for help now so you are able to help others later. You matter, and you are loved.
Thoughtful reaction fellas. I think Ren considers his issues in the first part of the track as his family as he mentions sister, brother, mother and father
I think the sunglasses are iconic, wear whatever you want. Not all of us are comfortable bearing our emotions alone in a room, let alone in front of the internet!
Ren, taking the lid off all the major issues of modern times.
Ren destroying reactors emotions since 2023.
"Useless me mother...can't keep in my supper" I assume is a reference that his mother, every kids caregiver, was unable to help.
Great reaction guys this song still makes me cry at the end because of my own experience
i think the "useless, my mother, can't keep down my supper"
isn't him telling us his mother is useless, but that it's useless to feed him, because he can't keep it down due to the meds he was on for his lyme disease
I have been waiting for you to react to this! Thank you, love your reactions.. part of the magic of Ren is the conversations he starts
I think Ren's mother cared for him when he was sick. I think the brother sister mother father references are about his emotion as a family more than a literal reference to his family but I don't know.
Those are my two favorite parts, miscounting sheep a misfit, and the vividly/tranquility/possibility/fragility section that hits so deep just considering the memory of the water he imagined Joe staring into, and Ren searching for Joe in, that night. Really powerful. Thanks. I agree he’s making a cutting reference.
The sea of tranquility as well I guess
I've tried to take my life twice. Once when I was 15, after I found my best friend hanging in his room; his family and our friends turned their back on me, except to tell me it's my fault he died, because I should have known he was suicidal, went on for six months before I broke. Mom found me in time to slow the bleeding enough to get an ambulance. The second time was after my mom died; she was my closest friend, and the world lost its color after she died, I didn't care if I lived or died because it felt like she took part of my soul with her. My sister saved my life when she called to tell me that she went into labor and my niece was about to be born.
I saved her life when she cried for me through the phone one night, saying she was going to jump and wanted me to take care of my baby niece (PPD/PPP hit her so fucking hard). Her psychiatrist wanted me to join one of their sessions, so I went... I told her how she saved me with the phone call, and that because of her child, we're both alive. We're both much better, and my niece just turned four, and I now have a four month old nephew.
Interesting artist; I''d never heard of Ren before.
I went digging on the Internet to find the rest of the story; because the ending sounded to real to me to have just been a song. (Another commenter posted the whole story here in the comments.)
It was a hard song to listen to because of the darkness in the depression expressed. Back in 1998; I too had gone to a counselor, not having an appointment on that day. (I'd gotten the dates mixed up; my appointment was a week later.) But instead of turning me away; the counselor called an ambulance and that's probably why I'm here today. I spent a total of about 6 months subsequent to that ambulance ride in various mental health facilities and hospitals fighting to get stable enough to not kill myself. Eventually I'd managed to conquer that demon.
Today I have a 21 year old son, who's struggling with a rather debilitating epilepsy. His form of epilepsy was just diagnosed about 3 months ago; though we've known he's had epilepsy since he was four.
So, we've been cleaning out his room to do some decorating updates and a whole bunch of things I'd removed have found "homes" other places in the house. Most of those things had come from his dad's estate. His dad had committed suicide in 2017 when our son was 15 years old. Neither of us saw this though; the police had found him in his apartment. Well, I'd taken some of the photos and different things and put them on a shelf in the hallway. And found myself angry at how he'd done this to his son. And all on account of an affair? The girlfriend had broken up with him and this is why he killed himself. I'd found the suicide note in the apartment. It was addressed to her.
So yeah, I can feel Ren's pain in the song.
Suicide is it's very own dark specter that comes and goes in haunting it's survivors!
Aw glad you came through and are now there for your son. Ren is a healer in his music. I've released alot of trauma as a result. I find him so cathartic. Enjoy the Ren rabbi x
As someone who has been on both sides of this topic, this song hits so hard 😞
Your great so you get this. ~~~~ I wrote what I think peole have made Ren or The Ren out to be. They've named me a wandering bard,
A timeless and enigmatic nomad,
But I feel lost within myself,
Unsure of where my heart is at,
A chameleon of the human race,
A trickster, a sage, a shifting face,
THE SAGE OF TALES, untamed and wild,
Unraveling truths with a knowing smile.
I wonder if I still possess,
The fire, the strength, the tenderness,
To sing with the voice of countless years,
And dance like dreams that never wither,
Can I still weave a web of tales,
Drawing wisdom from hidden wells,
No longer certain, I hesitate,
As I stand at destiny's gate.
My goal was once to bring delight,
Through melodies that dance in flight,
Yet now I question my own role,
In the grand scheme of the cosmic whole,
Is it laughter or the bitter truth,
That I must share with the world uncouth,
As the minstrel who sees the core,
Of what humanity's striving for.
The jester, they say, can speak the truth,
While others hide in masks uncouth,
A voice of reason in a world of lies,
I am the proof, the truth that cries,
But now I wonder if I have the strength,
To bear the weight of truth's full length,
To guide the lost and heal the blind,
And bring the world a peace of mind.
To break the chains of false belief,
And offer solace, hope, relief,
I must return to innocence,
Embrace the child within, and hence,
Confront the lies, the pain, the strife,
And start anew, a fresh new life,
For I am stronger than I know,
In this journey where truth must grow.
No longer here for jest or scorn,
For kings and queens who've long been worn,
I stand before you, truth in hand,
To save mankind from its own demand,
From savagery and cruel fate,
I share my wisdom, love, and hate,
A guide, a friend, a soul reborn,
Just a human, seeking truth's forlorn.
Keith B Moran
Thank you for making reactions, and talking to people. Youre important. You help me
I think, tranquility is a reference how the sea looks when you watch from the edge of a bridge or a cliff.
I think of the Mother reference as "It's useless my Mother" where he uses "Useless my Mother"
He follows with "can't keep in my supper.
Prior to Mother line he is doing a food scheme.
Yalls reactions are amazing...appreciate you explaining the fibbinacci thing had no clue but now much better understanding appreciate your commitment and contributions
I remember the tranquility. Like tranquility i had never felt before. I, like Ren (intersting that my nickname is ren too) am chronically ill and lost both my best friends at 18 and 25. Not to suicide but suddenly and unexpectedly. On my own journey through illness i fought so many drs and lost hope. Knowing that something was wrong but everyone telling me it was all in my head. I knew it wasnt. It took 9 years of my life fighting until i collapsed with autoimmunity and a heart problem. I had a heart attack ages 28. On my way to the drs office i looked at the london tube trains whizzing past and peace came over me. Quietness. Silent like everything was going to be over that day. I looked my cardiologist in the eyea and told him that he could either fix me or i would let the tube fix me. That man heard me and promised me that he would fix me. He couldnt fix me noone could but he heard me and that was the first time anyone had. He operated on my heart the following week and changed my life from night to day. I will forever be in the debt of that man.
Beautiful & heartbreaking
#Ren Rip Joe & love to all lost loved one's in this way. It's heartbreaking 💔
Just to add, survivors guilt is real.. there will alway's be questioning we will never have answers for 💓
If you read the story of this that Ren tell, it wasn't a metaphor, he was a few minutes away from being there. He got called by another friend about Joe, saying random stuff and saying goodbye and he was going to jump off the bridge. Ren ran to the bridge, all the while calling him. It kept on being 'engaged (good he was on the phone), then a minute or so from the bridge, Joe's phone signal cut off....
This one was tough....no doubt. I've already watched it several times and I've yet to keep a dry eye. That end segment is just soul crushing. The song starts out about Ren, he said this himself, but then he said that for some reason it felt incomplete. He started with the piano and the first line of that final sequence and said that the rest just kinda poured out of him. The emotion you hear, his tears, the breaking in his voice .... it's all genuine and real. That comes across vividly. Once again, Ren uses the power of his personal experiences and his musical talent to draw an emotional response from the listener.
"I suffer ...therefore I am. But I will NOT relent and I will learn to ride the waves." Life IS pain, but there is no battle more worth fighting. Ren once again being "that voice that you hear when you loosen the noose on the rope." I'll never stop saying this- Ren is special.
Self harmer here: unfortunately I didn't resort to healthy ways, for the past years I've almost never cut, but I used to do it a lot, and I appreciate that you explain it, because so many people don't understand why, even I didn't before it happened to me. Whether you're mourning, or dealing with stuff, in my case heavy depression, there's nothing you can do to numb the emotional pain, so all that's left is hurt even more in another way, physically. And it worked, when I was hurting so much I felt like I could hardly breath because every breathe was like inhaling fire, my lungs burned, my heart ached, tears streaming, and then I would cut and immediately I could breath again. It sounds so counter intuitive, but it works so well. That said, I encourage people to indeed go for a run or work out, until it hurts: it does release dopamine, and it's a healthy type of hurting yourself. I'm tired of having to tell people that the scars on my arms are old scratches from my cat.
Yeah, right there with you. Thank you for your honesty. Not to get too morbid, but for me, not only was it a jarring distraction/relief, but there was something about the aesthetics as well. It doesn’t seem to make sense, but there was a mesmerizing beauty to it that gave me a little hope. Like if I could see the beauty in something so small - just a drop diluting - then maybe I could find it elsewhere. And I did. Now I can enjoy watching paint or ink change the water. I'm not good, but I'm definitely better. There's so much art still to see, music to hear, and books that I want to read before I go. Just taking one day at a time. 🦋
It's not just photography it's the universe we exist as fractals in us and nature. It's the chaotic balance that keeps life there
Been waiting for yall to do this. As always great Ren Reaction ❤❤
Yes, a best friend and we drifted apart, we went different ways. He jumped off a highrise at 18. When I got the news I was really numb, I guess as self protection to not think that the drifting apart was a cause. I think a lot these days how I could have changed the outcome? But maybe we should find peace because we can't proof otherwise!
This song is what we didnt know we needed. We have to talk about the subject, not hush it down and hide it. He transfers his emotions to us and makes us face the pain and sit with it.
At some point, we all have to feel our pain. It cant be pushed down forever.
Whoever feels like there is no hope- please reach out. Please talk to someone.
The world needs you 🖤🖤🖤
Going through these reactions and feeling the love, support and empathy in the comments is healing. So much positivity and comfort going around. This song is heavy but it opens up a conversation that is needed. Lots of love to you 🖤
One of the sad truths I learnt when I started working on a depot is how many people jump in front of trains, every other week there is a jumper and that's just our depot.
I always knew there were a lot but it didn't quite hit home until i had to work on the damage caused by a person who'd jumped.
Based on REN’s interviews, he told his Mother he will never do such a thing (suic*de) cuz of Joe’s actions. The devastation he left behind.
I think this song will bring them together, the lads. Much love people.
Hey guys. A couple of things from your videos: I don't want to speak for others, however, I am viewing your videos for your perspectives and reactions so please don't worry about "talking" to much before playing the videos. I am here for your perspectives so I really don't like that others made you feel like you need to speed up to start the video. And the other thing I wanted to encourage you with was again your perspective and "talking" between each other post song was on point for me. Thanks guys!
I love how he echoes one of the most important lines in Sick Boi.
love you guys
The no body thing gets even worse with an adhd and imaginative or creative mind. My mom's been missing 20+ years , no body no explanation, likely murdered or suicide. Imagining the possibilities and scenarios and outcomes have created alternate universes in my mind lying awake at night or in my dreams when sleep happens to happen.
Train tracks are also a reference to slashes down the arm. As horrible as it is there's a saying that it's better to go down than across. It just goes quicker.
Yes, as a former teacher, I’ve experienced cutters, who have made horizontal tracks across their arms, instead of up-and-down along the veins. 🥺 - C -
To be honest I suffer from suicidal thoughts a lot. Nobody seems to care bc everyone is always booked up or trying to break the bank. Suicide hotlines they care but a lot just hang up bc their scare to talk The graphics in this video are great and Ren is always great. People were actually worried that he was going to do it. Wish y'all would react to The Big Push which was the band Ren was in.
I don't know you or what you are dealing with. I have no doubt there are people that love you and want you to stick around so, please do us all a favour and don't act on those thoughts. I have had a good friend attempt something this year and know that it's not selfish...it just consumes you.
You are worth the good times that will hopefully come back into your life someday soon.
Thanks for those kind words❤️
Fantastic reaction & analysis, thank you.
I lost 3 ppl to suicide in my life my girl friend jaz she’d be 23 now and guy friend/crush T. he’d be 25 now we’d probably be married because he’d always say I’m going to marry you someday watch that day never came and my uncle Kurt on my dads side he’d be 56 now he was such a happy funny person and then one day he wasn’t anymore anyway enough about my sad stories here’s ren’s story about his friend joe for those that can’t read the story you can here I hope this helps out.
Despite what the song is about and the theme of the heartfelt lyrics, ‘Su!cIde’ delivers a melody that can be described as upbeat as Ren seeks to find a balance in amongst the bittersweet sorrow of losing a loved one in this manner.
The story behind this song is a very emotional one, as you will see below.
“Today, the 1st of June is my friend Joe’s birthday.
I first met Joe when I was 8 years old, my friend Josh said I had to meet this guy, so we both walked over to his, it took about 10 minutes from my house. I was greeted by this kid covered head to toe in freckles, he grinned at us, climbed onto the back of his sofa and screamed “Swanton Bomb!” then front flipped off the top and landed right onto his back on a stone floor. He lay still for a moment, twitched a few times, then got up, grinned at us, brushed himself off, and did it again.
This was Joe. He’d do anything to make people laugh. He ended up becoming one of my best friends. He was there when we stole our first cigarettes out of his mums pack, way too young. He was there when I had my first kiss, with a girl twice my size on the back of the 42 bus. He was there when I first got so drunk I threw up in the woods after drinking as much white lightning Cider as we could. I was there when he did his first backflip on skates, and saw him do a 720 off of the pier cave, that moment became legendary.
Joe was the funny one in our friend group, he’d make us laugh till it hurt. No one had a bad word to say about him. It was impossible not to like him. Usually we put celebrities, athletes and actors on pedestals, turn them into role models and admire them from a far. The person I admired was Joe.
Him and Sagar knew every word to the songs id write, we’d get drunk at parties and they’d be singing along as loud as they could. It gave me a lot of confidence back then.
On Christmas Eve 2010 I was sitting in a pub with Joe, he’d been feeling low after a couple of consecutive break ups. He tried to check himself into a mental health outpatient facility a few weeks earlier but they turned him away because he didn’t have an appointment. He turned to me and said that sometimes he wished he could just walk into the sea and keep walking.
He said it in a kind of half joking throw away comment type of way, then took a sip of his drink, walked over to the juke box and put Dig by Incubus on. If I knew that was the last time I’d see Joe id have hugged him, told him how much I loved him, how much I looked up to him, how much we all loved him, and I wouldn’t have left that pub. I didn’t know that, so I finished my drink, said happy Christmas and left.
Two nights after Christmas I got woken up by a phone call at 3am, it was my friend Ella. She told me Joe was on the Menai Bridge, a large suspension bridge connecting the main land to the isle of Anglesey where we lived. He’d been on the phone to her in tears saying goodbye. He told her to tell everyone he loved them.
I pulled on my clothes as fast as I could and started running toward the bridge. It was up a hill. I lived about a ten minute walk away, I could run it in five.
As I ran I started dialling then redialing his number. The line was busy, which was a good sign, it meant he was still on the phone to someone. As I got about halfway, the busy tone changed. It told me the line was out of service. I got a sinking feeling and picked up my speed.
I arrived to the bridge minutes after I left my house. It was deafeningly quiet. I was the first person to arrive. I got there probably about 2 minutes too late.
Joe’s body was never found.
Initially we refused to believe he was gone. The coastguard came out that night, with boats, and helicopters. Me and my friends spent the next 10 days putting up missing posters everywhere we could, walking up and down beaches with flashlights, getting about 3 hours sleep a night.
When you’re walking up and down a beach with a torch when its dark everything looks like a body. We still haven’t found Joe.
As his birthday came around, I wrote a song, freckled angels, a song I dedicated to Joe which I sang in front of his friends and family.
A charity football match was put on for him, raising money for the RNLI where I won two bottles of wine in a raffle, I drank them both as quickly as I could, naturally, turned to my friend and probably slurred something along the lines of “This is the last time I ever drink”
That was 12 years ago, I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol since.”
This song and five finger death punch song wrong side of heaven are two songs that make me ugly cry. I’m a veteran and am running low on friends due to suicide.
He was the last call with his friend, he said in an interview that 2min away is when the phone went out of service 💔
For me, he’s saying (It’s) useless, my mother, can’t keep down my supper (when he was ill, he moved back home and his mother/parents took care of him, but his condition means he has/had adverse reactions to food and couldn’t keep food down. So that state and constant pain, and lack of hope of getting better.
So my interpretation isn’t that he thinks his mother is useless (his lyrics and interviews certainly suggests otherwise). Similarly, I think the next lines are “Truth is, my father, … Different emphasis :)
Having lost someone to suicide and also had struggles myself in my life where I was in a very dark place. I havent stopped crying, this really ripped some old wounds open.
If you are struggling and cant see the light, please talk to someone because trust me the light is there and it is ok to need a hand to guide you to it.
Emotional one ❤
I feel like he is saying *it's "useless my mother can't keep in my supper" because his anxiety/illness keeps him from eating. Which in itself causes depression... But i think it's most important that the busker in the video reaches someone at the end when they throw money in his case...😊
Best line: DIG DEEP, RESIST THE FEELING WHEN IT HITS YA.💖
Love your reactions! Beaming you all the best🙏🌟🙌
There must be those with whom we can sit down and weep, and still be counted as warriors.
I lost my son to suicide. He'd got taken to jail on a 6 1/2 old warrant. (off paper at 7) He was only in jail. 6 1/2 hrs. on June 8th 2014. I've lost many more family members including 2 dogs all in June. My daughter on my BD June 18, 2019
Ren didn't say his mother was useless. He was talking about being unable to keep down the food she had made for him. As in him telling her, it's useless my mother. He's very close with his mother. It's his father that he didn't always see eye to eye with because he left and married another woman, but they're still close.
That actually makes sense. Thank you for the clarification, my friend, and thank you for watching our channel. - C -
Beyond the message of the song, which is incredible and if you've ever felt like this: Talk to someone. Anyone. People love you and you love them. Stay with us.
BUT.... Ren mentioned in "Hi Ren" that he "Don't create hooks for the radio, they don't even play me". On this song he finally created a perfect radio hook and if they cut the last (Best) bit it's even the right length for radio, but then he fills it with a word that ensures it will never see airtime anyway! Powerful song and self sabotaging meta! This is why I love Ren.
I could be wrong but I feel he is saying "I see the world through Fibonacci sequences and Double Dutch", as he sees things both technically, but also as a kid. Double Dutch is a school playground jump rope game.
"useless, my mother, can't hold down my supper" isn't calling his MOTHER useless, he is telling his mother that HE feels useless, a burden. He can't even keep down the food that was made for him.
🎶🎶❤️🎶🎶 Joined at the soul with a pair of headphones ❤️🎧
It's amazing what a beautiful song this is, whether because of or in spite the subject matter.
I don't mind the sunglasses 💕
REN is very close to his parents and his sister. The first part of the song was already written. The second part was added recently. Part one was REN part 2 was REN. If you think this was sad listen to depression
Sorry part two of the song suicide was about Joe Hughes his friend from childhood who committed suicide
I heard the mother and father lines as: "[I am] useless, my mother, ..." and "[The] truth is, my father, ..."
Someone said on another comment section. Useless my mother I can't keep down my supper because its mothers that worry about weigh loss from illness in their children.
He always seems to talk fondly about his mother.
He stayed with her for several years at his illest.
Wow! I loved your reaction. Please do a reaction to his "For Joe" video. It's amazing live/one take overlooking Calgary Canada. My favorite after "Hi Ren".
he said he was 2 minutes late to the bridge it was really sad.
I think the "Useless my mother, can't keep in my supper" was just him saying to his mother it is useless to eat because he can't keep anything down. In one of his interviews he talks about his respect for his mom taking care of him for so long while he was so sick. I'm quite certain he was not saying his mom was useless.
He says he was only 5 minutes from getting there on time for Joe. This always makes me cry. His genuine grief just makes me hurt for him and for the whole human race.
Great reaction, but what is better than any of the other reactors I've watched on this video, ya'll put up #'s to get help!!! That's awesome!!! Not sure why other's didn't.
Hi, guys -- regarding Double Dutch, I "saw" this in my mind's eye as two school children standing twenty feet opposite of each other, long ropes tightly gripped in their hands, swinging them right-over-left toward each other while the children on the outside rocked and swayed and summoned their rhythmic courage to jump into the middle, at just "the right time", then either keep hopping or bail out. The ropes in motion resemble a huge strand of DNA
Ren went and lived with his Mom when he was so sick !
nice reaction and thank you for explaining the Fibonacci and double dutch portion, as well as the railroad tracks.
Been giving some thought to the line about his mother as useless. I wonder if that means that as much as his mother tries, she can't help him - depression and suicidal thoughts are so heavy that even those you love and who love you can't always help. I think i read somewhere that Ren has a good relationship with his mom.
Sorry that was messed up. REN is in England videoing Money Game 3
I have a different take on USELESS mother. take the lines in a sentence (kinda) Ren's talking about how he can't keep his food down, then he says TO his mother About making him some dinner (imho) and ren says "useless my mother, can't keep in my supper". what do you think? i've missed you guys, i clicked on your video first, WELCOME HOME!!! much love, kathleen ps: it goes without saying that i love this video. i lost my mother to suicide, i'm 71 yrs old now, you never forget. But God is gracious and your mind slowly blurs the sharp edges. in my experience. peace
I like the sunglasses when needed
Posted by Ren
Ren:
Today I want to write something beautiful and eloquent but I’ve been staring at my computer screen for the past 10 minutes blankly. So I’ll just write.
Today, the 1st of June is my friend Joe’s birthday.
I first met Joe when I was 8 years old, my friend Josh said I had to meet this guy, so we both walked over to his, it took about 10 minutes from my house. I was greeted by this kid covered head to toe in freckles, he grinned at us, climbed onto the back of his sofa and screamed “Swanton Bomb!” then front flipped off the top and landed right onto his back on a stone floor. He lay still for a moment, twitched a few times, then got up, grinned at us, brushed himself off, and did it again.
This was Joe. He’d do anything to make people laugh. He ended up becoming one of my best friends. He was there when we stole our first cigarettes out of his mums pack, way too young. He was there when I had my first kiss, with a girl twice my size on the back of the 42 bus. He was there when I first got so drunk I threw up in the woods after drinking as much white lightning Cider as we could. I was there when he did his first backflip on skates, and saw him do a 720 off of the pier cave, that moment became legendary.
Joe was the funny one in our friend group, he’d make us laugh till it hurt. No one had a bad word to say about him. It was impossible not to like him. Usually we put celebrities, athletes and actors on pedestals, turn them into role models and admire them from a far. The person I admired was Joe.
Him and Sagar knew every word to the songs id write, we’d get drunk at parties and they’d be singing along as loud as they could. It gave me a lot of confidence back then.
On Christmas Eve 2010 I was sitting in a pub with Joe, he’d been feeling low after a couple of consecutive break ups. He tried to check himself into a mental health outpatient facility a few weeks earlier but they turned him away because he didn’t have an appointment. He turned to me and said that sometimes he wished he could just walk into the sea and keep walking. He said it in a kind of half joking throw away comment type of way, then took a sip of his drink, walked over to the juke box and put Dig by Incubus on. If I knew that was the last time I’d see Joe id have hugged him, told him how much I loved him, how much I looked up to him, how much we all loved him, and I wouldn’t have left that pub. I didn’t know that, so I finished my drink, said happy Christmas and left.
Two nights after Christmas I got woken up by a phone call at 3am, it was my friend Ella. She told me Joe was on the Menai Bridge, a large suspension bridge connecting the main land to the isle of Anglesey where we lived. He’d been on the phone to her in tears saying goodbye. He told her to tell everyone he loved them. I pulled on my clothes as fast as I could and started running toward the bridge. It was up a hill. I lived about a ten minute walk away, I could run it in five. As I ran I started dialling then redialing his number. The line was busy, which was a good sign, it meant he was still on the phone to someone. As I got about halfway, the busy tone changed. It told me the line was out of service. I got a sinking feeling and picked up my speed. I arrived to the bridge minutes after I left my house. It was deafeningly quiet. I was the first person to arrive. I got there probably about 2 minutes too late.
Joe’s body was never found.
Initially we refused to believe he was gone. The coastguard came out that night, with boats, and helicopters. Me and my friends spent the next 10 days putting up missing posters everywhere we could, walking up and down beaches with flashlights, getting about 3 hours sleep a night. When you’re walking up and down a beach with a torch when its dark everything looks like a body. We still haven’t found Joe.
As his birthday came around, I wrote a song, freckled angels, a song I dedicated to Joe which I sang in front of his friends and family. A charity football match was put on for him, raising money for the RNLI where I won two bottles of wine in a raffle, I drank them both as quickly as I could, naturally, turned to my friend and probably slurred something along the lines of “This is the last time I ever drink” That was 12 years ago, I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol since.
My first ever album I named Freckled Angels in tribute of one of the best people I ever knew.
Skip forward some years. I’d been sitting on this song I wrote a few years ago. It always felt a little incomplete. It was going to be my next release, but I was dreading it because of this feeling of incompletion. I decided, very last minute, to do something about it. I sat by my piano, and the rest of the song fell out of me. I hadn’t thought about Joe in a little while, and the song initially wasn’t going to be about him, but the words all fell out of me. I wrote and recorded a whole 2 minutes extra, recording each part as I wrote it. Tears spewing out of my eyes pretty much the whole time, and decided not to do my usual thing of perfecting each line, I just recorded every line as it came. This will be my next release. You can turn on notifications by following the link in the comments below
During this campaign I will be raising money for the RNLI, the group of brave men and women who spent hours tirelessly looking for Joe after the night he went missing. I'll also be donating 50% of the profit on all copies of the 'Freckled Angels' album directly to Joes family as a nice surprise gift. I will include links to the RNLI donation page below where 100% of the money will go to support them, I will be travelling to the UK later this month to make a music video, and have carved out a couple of days where I will travel to my home town on the isle of Anglesey to present the royal national lifeboat institution with a cheque of all the money raised.
The most gut wrenching song of all time
He highlights both sides of the story and the pain of the one left behind hopefully will give pause for thought.
Ren suffers from a audio mune disease. So do I millions of others unfortunately and it can bad thoughts ,bad days. This is A breakthrough song for us sufferers but also. Suicidal sufferers. The song is phenomenal He is such a blessing. A wonderful and beautiful artist.❤❤❤🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🤩😇🤩😇
What I got from the part about useless my Mother is just before he says can't keep it down cuz my body purges. Then useless my My Mother Can't Keep Down my Supper...
This song is pure heartbreak. Regarding suicide - it's almost romanticized, especially in certain countries. Unfortunately, the picture of tranquility and seeing it as a solution is so far from truth. Our bodies freak out, it bloody hurts to hit the water, following by an excrutiating end, lungs full of water. Can't change your mind halfway down. Peepz, never do this to yourself and your close ones. Please seek help.
He is talking to his parents when he was in the worst of his disease.
“Useless my mother, cant keep in my supper”
Ren has a lot of trouble surrounding food. His body has allergic like reactions to most foods. It took a while for him to figure out what he can and can’t eat. What does a mother do when their child is growing thin; she tells them to eat. She brings them food. But it was useless.
“Truth is my father, you choose your karma
draw for the sword then drive through the armour”
Ren is telling his father that he feels his choices have led to where he is. He is blaming himself, a key component of people thinking about ending it. He is also crying for help asking his father to pierce through his the armour he has erected around himself.
I lost my brother in law at 24 because he laid on train tracks 💔 amd my father with pills he overdosed on. My chilhood best friend hung herself. It still hurts after all these years.
I hope his old friends reach out to him. It may be hard, but sometimes you just got to rip that plaster cast off to feel better.
The end of this song hits like a fuqin freight train. The onion ninjas are real... I lost one of my best friends and my younger cousin to suicide. My cousin suffered from Lyme Disease just like Ren. We were supposed to go fishing on a Saturday and I overslept, calling him up for a raincheck for next weekend....he was gone Sunday night, found out Monday morning....like he said, you run that back in your mind over and over...."Would things have turned out differently if I had just remembered to set that alarm....(0.o) Its been years....but EVERY single time I get out on the water I think of that...takes me a few to shake it off and start enjoying it.
My son is 15 and his friend a 16 year old girl just stepped in front of a train last week. He will be affected forever..I have no idea how to help him .
See I look at the line about Fibonacci sequence and double dutch as being a reference to their childhood together..