“You’re not mother/parent, you won’t understand”. Am still a female, I have a womb that connects to outside sources. I don’t need to have kids to have ‘motherly instincts’
They want you to respect them through intimidation and fear. And now, you fear a lot of people and have anxiety as you grow up. It really doesn't help at all.
That's exactly what I went through with my own mum..infact at some point I wondered if she was my real mum but she was...these African mum's are mentally sick.
Lots of people in high school used to ask me if she was my step mom or my real mom because of the crazy stories I would tell them about the ways she treated me.
My birth giver was my first bully. She abused all of us, including her husband. Her husband endured her abuse until the day he died (also caused by her neglect and abuse). I learned how to endure and tolerate abuse and bullying because I saw my dad do it. If my dad had left the marriage, I wouldn’t have dated 90% of the guys I dated in my 20s. Thankfully, I’m doing the hard work to recover my self confidence and I’m no longer emotionally attached or connected to my abusive mother. What a relief.
I'm West Indian and move to the UK at 12 too and my mum would gossip to our close family friends about us whenever we "misbehaved" my mum is my biggest opp, she favours my younger brother over me and my sis (9 years older than him btw) I have so much anger I don't even know how to heal. I truly hate it here. Thanks for the relatable content.
Pls get therapy. I know people always say this lol, but I am speaking as a living example. Only now at 26 did I start to entrust a professional to be vulnerable to and unpack all my supressed emotions and lack of confidence. This trauma that you endured EFFECTS YOUR LIFE. You can't fix yourself with a damaged concept of self. Wish u well!
Someone once told me that I don’t know my own limits. That was a major wake up call! I thought I was this fancy, nicely dressed person, well spoken person but in fact SO incredibly broken. You’re right! My trauma & abuse became my story… Sperm doner was HELL BENT on doing that my entire life and birth woman VERY much played into that too. They intentionally made my life a living hell just to make sure I was like them and that inhumane bastard actually said to me once “you are like me” basically he felt he succeeded in making sure I am broken and have no sense of self. I thank the Most High!!! In bringing me to where I am now, my own cute place and loving life. Yes it is difficult but 1000% worth it
Child abzuse, Low of themselves, parental awareness, and how to raise ur kids? This is such a good analysis! Sending my full condolences to both these mothers and children and hoping for them to get better, parenting and more. ❤
I get it. It’s never ending. May God help us to heal from this madness. May we know that we are human beings, deserving of love, care and respect. May we re-parent ourselves. May we seek professional help.
OMGGGG! BABY GIRL IM SO HAPPY YOU ARE SPEAKING ON THIS !!! ME & MY GIRLFRIEND TALK ABOUT THIS ALL OF THEE TIME !!!!!! WOW !!! 🤯 I WOULD LOVE TO DIG DEEPER ON THIS TOPIC AS WELL! IVE BEEN THROUGH ALOT WITH MY FAMILY!
16:53 Incredibly deep and raw realization. Keep going on strong with your healing, you are uncovering the truth and I love this for you ❤ I’m the same age as you and also west African and I grew up with an abusive mom and older sister so I feel your pain. Sending love from America!❤
I had the same thing with sibling and my mom. The emotional incest that lady put on me was so much I was convinced she can’t live in her own by the age of 12. She did it to my brother and he ran away and then it was my turn.
Hey girl, I just wanted to say thank you for sharing this, I am also from Africa and dealing with abusive African Parents, it's one of the worst thing anyone could go through. Your videos are so validating and helpful. I just asked to join the group on whatsapp.
Yes she used to comment on how I walk and my posture. People that haven't had narcissistic parents think they're just correcting us but it's mids games, torture reverse psychology etc being so calculated
THANK YOU. daughters in any culture I feel, get the brunt. Because it seems like women overall have certain expectations put on them, even from a young age. And even from elder women because of previous traditions/cultural expectations. Just what I think :/ and being the oldest never seems to help either. Praying for all the women who go through this
My mum is so envious of me. Many of these older african women are pick mes. And older african men have inferiority complexes and take their anger out on others. Ive never admired an older african person. Theyre so dumb.
👏 👏 👏 👏 yes . Their mindset is very Primitive. They refuse to evolve. Can't stand being around them. I realize it's a dead end attempting to make them understand me. They really need change.
They are not just dumb, they are stupid, envious and low lives. Unfortunately ignorance is bliss so they think they deserve to be rewarded in their old age.
As an African American we gree up watching the Cosby show and was told that was not how black families are. We had Madeas innour families and it was ok for them to ridicule us and physically assault us. I grew up with mentally unstable parents and family members. Its not funny when lour community makes jokes about abusing children. Especially in the church. I know other black children across the diaspora who were abused by family in the disguise of discipline. We need a healing circle......as black people because so many of us are dealing with this trauma. Thank you for this because im in my healing and letting go season ❤❤❤❤.
❤ sis even as a Muslim African, they’re the same. Beatings and they act like I’m a liar when I remind them of what happened to me, even if it was someone else
@JJ-qd9yl i hear you sis and I'm praying for your recovery and healing because growing up black we had parents with a colonized mindset across the diaspora. I felt bad for my fellow Continental African friends because when they came here not allowed to really enjoy being children.
For we wrestle with flesh and blood, but principality, powers of darkness, rulers of darkness, spirtual wickedness in high places. In this world you shall be persecuted
Support groups link in WhatsApp: chat.whatsapp.com/LRB3pbXoSPlKpR4aZzzFas
“You’re not mother/parent, you won’t understand”. Am still a female, I have a womb that connects to outside sources. I don’t need to have kids to have ‘motherly instincts’
❤❤❤, I'm 38 and I relate.
You don’t need kids because you were once a kid yourself lol. People grow up too fast now a days they forget that part.
Women are so connected in more ways we don't know off....thank you for sharing your very relatable story
This!!! That’s why I moved out and went no contact! So I can heal and work on me
Same!
They want you to respect them through intimidation and fear. And now, you fear a lot of people and have anxiety as you grow up. It really doesn't help at all.
True
That's exactly what I went through with my own mum..infact at some point I wondered if she was my real mum but she was...these African mum's are mentally sick.
Lots of people in high school used to ask me if she was my step mom or my real mom because of the crazy stories I would tell them about the ways she treated me.
My birth giver was my first bully. She abused all of us, including her husband. Her husband endured her abuse until the day he died (also caused by her neglect and abuse). I learned how to endure and tolerate abuse and bullying because I saw my dad do it. If my dad had left the marriage, I wouldn’t have dated 90% of the guys I dated in my 20s. Thankfully, I’m doing the hard work to recover my self confidence and I’m no longer emotionally attached or connected to my abusive mother. What a relief.
💔❤️
@@bonvivant3704 💙
Some people think that toxic or confrontational or abusive behavior is strength.
I'm West Indian and move to the UK at 12 too and my mum would gossip to our close family friends about us whenever we "misbehaved" my mum is my biggest opp, she favours my younger brother over me and my sis (9 years older than him btw) I have so much anger I don't even know how to heal. I truly hate it here. Thanks for the relatable content.
Pls get therapy. I know people always say this lol, but I am speaking as a living example. Only now at 26 did I start to entrust a professional to be vulnerable to and unpack all my supressed emotions and lack of confidence. This trauma that you endured EFFECTS YOUR LIFE. You can't fix yourself with a damaged concept of self. Wish u well!
You NEED to move out
@@Lalaland099 it’s not so easy, they make you feel like you need them. I can’t wait to graduate and get a job abroad even if I get paid less🙏
It such a wake up call realising what you’ve been going through for years wasn’t normal but I pray you find peace in this world sis x
Am so sorry about the audio in the video, Please lower your sound so you don’t break your ear🥹
I use to cry until someone would see or notice
Someone once told me that I don’t know my own limits. That was a major wake up call! I thought I was this fancy, nicely dressed person, well spoken person but in fact SO incredibly broken. You’re right! My trauma & abuse became my story… Sperm doner was HELL BENT on doing that my entire life and birth woman VERY much played into that too. They intentionally made my life a living hell just to make sure I was like them and that inhumane bastard actually said to me once “you are like me” basically he felt he succeeded in making sure I am broken and have no sense of self. I thank the Most High!!! In bringing me to where I am now, my own cute place and loving life. Yes it is difficult but 1000% worth it
You're so intelligent and beautiful. I just want to say that I am so proud of you and hope that youfe healed or healing past those evil parents.
Child abzuse, Low of themselves, parental awareness, and how to raise ur kids? This is such a good analysis! Sending my full condolences to both these mothers and children and hoping for them to get better, parenting and more. ❤
I get it. It’s never ending. May God help us to heal from this madness. May we know that we are human beings, deserving of love, care and respect. May we re-parent ourselves. May we seek professional help.
OMGGGG! BABY GIRL IM SO HAPPY YOU ARE SPEAKING ON THIS !!! ME & MY GIRLFRIEND TALK ABOUT THIS ALL OF THEE TIME !!!!!! WOW !!! 🤯 I WOULD LOVE TO DIG DEEPER ON THIS TOPIC AS WELL! IVE BEEN THROUGH ALOT WITH MY FAMILY!
I resonate with this wholeheartedly
16:53 Incredibly deep and raw realization. Keep going on strong with your healing, you are uncovering the truth and I love this for you ❤ I’m the same age as you and also west African and I grew up with an abusive mom and older sister so I feel your pain. Sending love from America!❤
I had the same thing with sibling and my mom. The emotional incest that lady put on me was so much I was convinced she can’t live in her own by the age of 12. She did it to my brother and he ran away and then it was my turn.
Same thing happened with me and my sister
You're glowing 👑✨️ That's the beauty of taking your power back
Hey girl, I just wanted to say thank you for sharing this, I am also from Africa and dealing with abusive African Parents, it's one of the worst thing anyone could go through. Your videos are so validating and helpful. I just asked to join the group on whatsapp.
is it weird that i'm a guy and i relate to every single second of this video? cause damn😅really feel like you calling me out
I know exactly what you are talking about...we have lived the same life
Yes she used to comment on how I walk and my posture. People that haven't had narcissistic parents think they're just correcting us but it's mids games, torture reverse psychology etc being so calculated
Normalise calling the police on parents 21:42
I hate my parents
thank you for talking about this. my parents are the same way and i’m glad im healing. i hope you doing well 🫶🏾🩷
THANK YOU. daughters in any culture I feel, get the brunt. Because it seems like women overall have certain expectations put on them, even from a young age. And even from elder women because of previous traditions/cultural expectations. Just what I think :/ and being the oldest never seems to help either. Praying for all the women who go through this
Youre very beautiful. Your hair is so pretty
My mum is so envious of me. Many of these older african women are pick mes. And older african men have inferiority complexes and take their anger out on others.
Ive never admired an older african person. Theyre so dumb.
👏 👏 👏 👏 yes . Their mindset is very Primitive. They refuse to evolve. Can't stand being around them. I realize it's a dead end attempting to make them understand me. They really need change.
That’s it! I used to not want to admit it but they are so dumb.
This is exactly my parents. They are insecure, immature and angry with victim mentality. Its always someone else's fault, never their own.
They are not just dumb, they are stupid, envious and low lives. Unfortunately ignorance is bliss so they think they deserve to be rewarded in their old age.
You look amazing! And you got so much wisdom because of this hardship.
So true, the only positive side of the experience!
I'm so sorry you went thru this.🥺 part 2 please❤️
You should make a video on how you escaped.
Great video!
I love this! Keep it up😊❤
Beautifull hair
As an African American we gree up watching the Cosby show and was told that was not how black families are. We had Madeas innour families and it was ok for them to ridicule us and physically assault us. I grew up with mentally unstable parents and family members. Its not funny when lour community makes jokes about abusing children. Especially in the church. I know other black children across the diaspora who were abused by family in the disguise of discipline. We need a healing circle......as black people because so many of us are dealing with this trauma. Thank you for this because im in my healing and letting go season ❤❤❤❤.
❤ sis even as a Muslim African, they’re the same. Beatings and they act like I’m a liar when I remind them of what happened to me, even if it was someone else
@JJ-qd9yl i hear you sis and I'm praying for your recovery and healing because growing up black we had parents with a colonized mindset across the diaspora. I felt bad for my fellow Continental African friends because when they came here not allowed to really enjoy being children.
@@SmilingCrayons-fg7qc thank you❤️hopefully we can heal as a community
@JJ-qd9yl your welcome 🤗
African mothers doing nothing when the fathers b3at up the daughters is real
🎯🎯🎯
14:15 I’m sorry but 😂😂😂
I want to listen, but the mic quality is too grating. Please re-record when youre ready to ❤
@@iamPudding Awww pls try, put the volume down a bit, I don’t want to recreate the emotions🥺
Do you have brothers and sisters?
This
Hard to listen! Fix your sound
I managed to listen and I agree with you! Great video great message but fix the sound next time !
For we wrestle with flesh and blood, but principality, powers of darkness, rulers of darkness, spirtual wickedness in high places.
In this world you shall be persecuted
For we "do not"...
Seriously! I’m still trying to figure out how to be confident in my own decisions to this day. You didn’t deserve any of that. 🫂
Same here dear.