Me too, it thought me most women hate themselves and other women so if you hate yourself and other women then you can’t have a relationship with them, therefore it ruins it before it even gets started
What about those who are competing so much that they purposefully wont teach any cooking/cleaning/life skills to their daughter, fearing to be surpassed by them.
This!!! They fail to prepare their daughters for the world and blame her at the end! They also the ones to validate this incompetence so it eventually becomes the daughters norm until she lands in a situation where it’s needed and she can’t help herself!
same thing my parents only taught me housework not because they thought it was a necessary skill but because she wanted me to be the housemaid and didn't teach me anything else, and they expected it to be done on their time and didn't care if i was working on something else or had other commitments. i started to realize this when i got to college because i was having hard for managing my time because i was never allowed to create/ stick to a schedule for myself, also when i asked my dad to help me get a credit card to build my credit because i know he has good credit ( in the US you need a credit report to get apartments, house, cars, loans, etc.) he told me to go look online., same thing he would so when i would ask him for help. with my homework when i was a kid, he would tell me to go figure it out and stop being "lazy", mind you i as amongst the top student sin my grade/classes. however he has been trying to get me to join the military he would send me emails on information about the military, tell me to let him know if i need help with my application, etc mind you i have never considering the military in my life they only care to help me when it benefits them.
18:33 the way i started crying on this part😭 at this point i realized my mother whether she knows it or not hates me. My siblings can do every stupid thing under the sun but I'll be her worst child because she doesnt like how I walk. The truth is I dont want her love like you said bonding ends at 12😂😂😂 I've given up on her and I love myself so much which I'm so grateful that i can recognize how good I am. So whether she tries her very hardest I will not hate myself and I will not become her😊 It's just sad that most African girls are denied a childhood but we can build each other up dear African girl I love you❤
Omg this was my life! Even my friends used to ask me why my mother treated me like a maid in the house. Mind you, she had other children who could have done the chores as well.
Am so sorry to hear that, one of the ways they gaslight this action is “I know everyone’s abilities” I heard this multiple times growing, so if the other kids can’t do this or that it’s okay cause it’s not in their ability??? And it’s okay for one child to do everything???
this conversation is soooo important omg. where i grew up, i didn’t have a lot of friends from my culture or even just people that understood these kinds of family dynamics, so hearing you say these things makes me feel so much less crazy about all of it. this video seriously healed me. you’re so emotionally intelligent and thank you so much for sharing your story💕
what are your thoughts on parents accusing you? my dad i african and told me that if i did not obey him he would curse my life so nothing goes well for me, and i feel like he may have already done so. do you believe in this and do you have any thoughts on how to combat this?i have always hated this concept because as child if your. parents hate you and abuse you a are you just supposed to accept it simply because you dont want to be cursed by them.
I personally do not care about anything they say, I also was told if I don't listen to them I will fail(I am not sure as to what exactly I will fail at). Anyways, to begin with I believe whenever such things are said not a person, there are forces out there who look out for you and judge as to whether you deserve the "curse" or not, and if you have truly done nothing to deserve it, then I think it wont come to pass. Additionally, we as human are powerful with our mind and believes when it also comes to manifestation, as in when we believe in something it comes to pass. You have to stop internalising there negegative things they say about your life. One thing I realised about myself was that the moment I stopped internalisng and believing all the negative things my parents dumped on me, it all stopped immediately. Even my nightmares stopped, and anything chaotic in my life came to end as well because they were the ones causing all of it! Furthermore, the curse and fail is a tactic they use to keep you bond to them in fear, it gives an excuse to carry on with the abuse without any accountability and to condition your mind to think the abuse to okay otherwise you will be cursed, these in which I believe are manipulative tactics as an excuse for their behaviour! So what I will leave with is stop believing in the negativity from them, sometimes those things has nothing to do with you but everything to do with them, think about it what si actually being said to you and analyse it, are these really from me?, is this really what am doing or thinking? if they're not then don't believe or internalise them, free yourself mentally and emotionally from them if you cant do it physically from now and as time goes on you will be fine! 🤗
No cause i knew it wasnt me when she had blamed me for things going wrong when i wasnt even in the place or i had nothing to do with it 🥲 16:05 this too like i honestly dont caree😭
Liking all your videos because no one else is brave to talk about this crap
Thank you, because fear has been imposed into people, additionally most people has been forcefully silenced!
Facts!
I also experienced similar, but it didn’t ruin my relationship to other women. But it showed me that actually many women hate other women
Me too, it thought me most women hate themselves and other women so if you hate yourself and other women then you can’t have a relationship with them, therefore it ruins it before it even gets started
What about those who are competing so much that they purposefully wont teach any cooking/cleaning/life skills to their daughter, fearing to be surpassed by them.
It’s so sick honestly. Like how can you see your own child as a threat??
@@Giantfloatingballoonhead thats precisely my question
This!!! They fail to prepare their daughters for the world and blame her at the end! They also the ones to validate this incompetence so it eventually becomes the daughters norm until she lands in a situation where it’s needed and she can’t help herself!
They are the happiest when you fail or when things don’t plan out well for you. It’s called is schadenfreude.
You told me story, word for word. My goodness. For example. I was taught nothing but housework. Absolutely nothing, but mopping, sweeping and laundry.
Literally!!!
Spot on! Me too not even how to clean myself and shave but apparently she was teaching my brothers to do that but not me???
same thing my parents only taught me housework not because they thought it was a necessary skill but because she wanted me to be the housemaid and didn't teach me anything else, and they expected it to be done on their time and didn't care if i was working on something else or had other commitments. i started to realize this when i got to college because i was having hard for managing my time because i was never allowed to create/ stick to a schedule for myself, also when i asked my dad to help me get a credit card to build my credit because i know he has good credit ( in the US you need a credit report to get apartments, house, cars, loans, etc.) he told me to go look online., same thing he would so when i would ask him for help. with my homework when i was a kid, he would tell me to go figure it out and stop being "lazy", mind you i as amongst the top student sin my grade/classes. however he has been trying to get me to join the military he would send me emails on information about the military, tell me to let him know if i need help with my application, etc mind you i have never considering the military in my life they only care to help me when it benefits them.
18:33 the way i started crying on this part😭 at this point i realized my mother whether she knows it or not hates me. My siblings can do every stupid thing under the sun but I'll be her worst child because she doesnt like how I walk. The truth is I dont want her love like you said bonding ends at 12😂😂😂 I've given up on her and I love myself so much which I'm so grateful that i can recognize how good I am. So whether she tries her very hardest I will not hate myself and I will not become her😊
It's just sad that most African girls are denied a childhood but we can build each other up dear African girl I love you❤
Did you just say people can't give you what they don't have woooooow..... That was so eloquently said. Oh man! I'm so glad I found this channel
Omg this was my life! Even my friends used to ask me why my mother treated me like a maid in the house. Mind you, she had other children who could have done the chores as well.
Am so sorry to hear that, one of the ways they gaslight this action is “I know everyone’s abilities” I heard this multiple times growing, so if the other kids can’t do this or that it’s okay cause it’s not in their ability??? And it’s okay for one child to do everything???
Profound and mature advice at the end. Proud of you. You are one of the scapegoats that has healed and that is beautiful to see. Well done ❤
Thank you so much!
you are beautiful and i am happy that you are manifesting positivity and love in your life. Thank you for your voice ❤
Thank you so much for the favour too India🤗🥹
@@GoddessSignature❤❤❤
this conversation is soooo important omg. where i grew up, i didn’t have a lot of friends from my culture or even just people that understood these kinds of family dynamics, so hearing you say these things makes me feel so much less crazy about all of it. this video seriously healed me. you’re so emotionally intelligent and thank you so much for sharing your story💕
wow so needed thank you
Ohhh… we are having the conversation now? 😮😢 out in the open?
YES!
You are an impeccable human who has truly overcome so much.
I'm so proud of you
Truly ❤❤❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉
Thank you my dear🫶🏾🤗
Thank you for showing up for yourself ❤😊
what are your thoughts on parents accusing you? my dad i african and told me that if i did not obey him he would curse my life so nothing goes well for me, and i feel like he may have already done so. do you believe in this and do you have any thoughts on how to combat this?i have always hated this concept because as child if your. parents hate you and abuse you a are you just supposed to accept it simply because you dont want to be cursed by them.
I personally do not care about anything they say, I also was told if I don't listen to them I will fail(I am not sure as to what exactly I will fail at). Anyways, to begin with I believe whenever such things are said not a person, there are forces out there who look out for you and judge as to whether you deserve the "curse" or not, and if you have truly done nothing to deserve it, then I think it wont come to pass. Additionally, we as human are powerful with our mind and believes when it also comes to manifestation, as in when we believe in something it comes to pass. You have to stop internalising there negegative things they say about your life. One thing I realised about myself was that the moment I stopped internalisng and believing all the negative things my parents dumped on me, it all stopped immediately. Even my nightmares stopped, and anything chaotic in my life came to end as well because they were the ones causing all of it! Furthermore, the curse and fail is a tactic they use to keep you bond to them in fear, it gives an excuse to carry on with the abuse without any accountability and to condition your mind to think the abuse to okay otherwise you will be cursed, these in which I believe are manipulative tactics as an excuse for their behaviour! So what I will leave with is stop believing in the negativity from them, sometimes those things has nothing to do with you but everything to do with them, think about it what si actually being said to you and analyse it, are these really from me?, is this really what am doing or thinking? if they're not then don't believe or internalise them, free yourself mentally and emotionally from them if you cant do it physically from now and as time goes on you will be fine! 🤗
Thank you for speaking up...I relate so much..love from🇿🇦
You’re so self aware ❤
7:05 💯💯💯
Yes thank you
Both my dad and my mom including my siblings, they view me as a slave. I do everything at home and they still say that i don't work at all
May you be free away from the abuse soon
Wow words of wisdom, thank you so much indeed girl ❤❤
Wow this is crazy… they really are all the same, nothing new.
12:53
Where are they now? Do they rage watch your videos? Are they in prison? What about your little brother does he live with those monsters?
Theyre still out there living their lives and my brothers still live with them.
@@GoddessSignature chai, it is well.
Live your life in peace and happiness.
Did they even had a job?
They did
No cause i knew it wasnt me when she had blamed me for things going wrong when i wasnt even in the place or i had nothing to do with it 🥲
16:05 this too like i honestly dont caree😭