Hi I’m a builder for 20 odd years and I’ve just sold all my tools cause I’m struggling with depression I don’t want to give up but I just can’t see any other way watching this has made me realise I’m not alone and will seek help and hopefully rebut new tools and start again
Issues with being self employed: 1. Paying the bills 2. Not knowing if your gonna have enough work 3. No pension 4. Narky customers 5. Trying your best (and doing a great job) but not being appreciated for it 6. Customer believing it’s 100% your fault when it isn’t 7. The worry when your customer hasn’t paid after a week (or more). You question if they’re happy with the work. 8. Relying on other tradesmen 9. Other trades not doing their job properly making your work much harder 10. Jobsworth building inspectors 11. Desperate for a crap but don’t wanna disturb the household, but go anyway and you know it’s gonna stink 12. Accidental water leaks 13. You think you’ve got the house waterproof mid job but 2am you get a text from the customer saying water is dripping on their heads 14. Keeping things clean 15. On call all the time 16. Sorting out your tax 17. Worry of customers dealing with the upset of the project: dust, intrusion of privacy etc 18. Dealing with customer psychology 19. Trying to understand individual customer etiquette. People have different expectations. 20. Dealing with job extras. You give them a price but you have extras to do. You don’t do it for free. And so on... Apart from that, it’s quite enjoyable... 👍🏻
I think you've nailed it! I find it amusing how the highest sick leave is in government employees. Poor things. Imagine having this thing called sick leave or holidays!
@JC-ri4fo it's a pain in the arse at times, but the positives outweigh the negatives. I've noticed with the self-employed, we're independently minded. We're not infected by the corporate mentality, which can only be a good thing. Good day 👍🏻
I'm a GP in the NHS and it is interesting just how few self employed people come along to see me with anxiety or depression compared with the number of people I see who are employed. I guess there are a few reasons - one reason is that a sick line is of little benefit to someone who is self employed, another is that self employed people have a different ethos and take way less sick time because they dont earn money when off. Women see the doctor about mental health problems a lot more readily than men do. Men need to seek help more. We use mindfulness, cognitive behavioural therapy and medication to help.
I had a car crash a few years ago and have been having terrible migraines ever since on and off every couple weeks and they were so bad that I often vomit because of it I told my contractor about it and he told me to " man up " that really played on my mind and brought me down. not working for him any more than god. I have to take anti-depressants now because they widen blood vessels in my brain or something its the only thing that's helped stop the migraines but it does make me feel dull sometimes. i think in construction the mentality is just " man up " which is sad
@MajorRascal - Being a GP, you of all people must have personal experience of how the pressure of work can affect your mental health. I'm a Paramedic Practitioner in a very busy GP surgery and I have to say the stress is just unbelievable. Just glad I didn't do a medical degree, all the GPs in my practice are falling to pieces! Totally agree with your comments, and they extend to builders working through quite serious illnesses as they are mostly self employed and can't afford to be off work, offering MED3s usually gets met with a head shake and a 'naaa, you're alright mate'. Sad times. Namaste x
Very good topic to talk about. I’m a self employed plasterer and I’m getting over a serious bout of anxiety and depression. I took 6 months off work (thankfully we had savings) and I’m currently on antidepressants. They have seriously got me out of the hole I was in. I literally couldn’t move out of bed at one point and it all came out the blue, that was the scary part. The main thing that’s helped me is not only exercise but eating well. Getting your meat and veg in and eating fruit is a life saver, quite literally. If any one sees this then I’ll just say this. Keep talking and don’t bottle things up. Life’s not all about the big bucks, it’s about enjoying the simple things in life, like the sunrise, the morning walk with the dog, the birds whistling in the morning. As long as ends are being met and you’ve got food on the table then you’re doing well. Take care everyone.
After watching this i feel like i just want to give Roger and Robin the biggest hug. I never thought skillbuilder would make me emotional, but i say that in a nice way, because just from these two gentlemen making this video, could very well help someone with this problem. Thank you Skillbuilder, and all of you i wish you a beautiful bank holiday.
Started having panic attacks age 40ish. Feel fine now. What worked for me... - Found a few new hobbies - Found a better place to live - Stopped drinking spirits - Stopped smoking - Got more spiritual - Ate better food (less carbs more plant based greens etc) - Got more Exercise - Lost some negative friends - More quality time with family - Lost weight - Focussed the career on enjoyable stuff (say no to the crap work) - Sold stuff I didn't need - More positive music
welldone boys..a very important subject that is not openly talked about enough,esspecialy in the very masqline ego driven building industry..ive been a carpenter for 27 years and ive got my own experiance of poor mental health..i turned to drugs and alchol to try and cope with the day to day.it worked for a very samll amount of time but bit me on the arse..heroin and cocaine addiction,injecting,snorting,swollowing and drinking anything i could get my hands on..ended up on the streets.prison,countless court cases and programs,probation,mental health hospitals and all the rest of the chaos..ive learnt that the biggest tool that i own is my mouth and my willingness to reach out,with out shame and talk with like minded people..today i am almost 13 years clean and sober,i run two buissnesses,one carpentry and a catering truck,selling fresh juices and smoothies,currys,falafals and the like at festivals..and yes i couldnt agree more,exercise is a real game changer for taking care of my mental health. once again,thanks a lot for this great channel boys,its a fantastic resourse,
Yup! Exercise is the best drug to trade our existing vices for! Also a proper diet is an amazing way to help mental health. Didn't believe how effective unit i did my own Research & Trials. A good diet can literally save your life! Love your tale of triumph!
A video that's going to be uncomfortable for some, but essential for others. Well done guys. I'll be brief but I was involved in a near fatal non-fault traffic accident a few years ago. Shattered pelvis, hip, leg (nearly amputated), lost 80% blood, etc. Air Ambulance, 25 hours of surgery, wheelchair/crutches for 18 months and so on. My point is that I denied it was happening to me for the 1st year, acted like an observer and that was my worst mistake. Eventually started having panic attacks and depression. Was told by then GF, who had to be my carer for 5 months, that I needed help. I got it, it was worse than having teeth pulled but in the long run it was the right move. After a lot of sessions came off anti-depressants and got my head sorted. Takes guts to deal with an invisible problems and you will be proud of yourself afterwards, doesn't matter that most people will never see what you've overcome. Hope that helps some people.
I was self employed most of life but ended up spending too much time in isolation either in my workshop or on my own on jobs .went into teaching woodwork and changed my life ,
Cheers boys. I’m in it right now. 2 very young kids, busy work days, a home I’m still pulling together and few things not gone my way recently. I Really can’t figure out where I get any time for myself. Nice to hear you boys talk about this and reading the comments from tons of people been through it. Helps me see there’s that light somewhere down the road. Appreciate this.
When i get home from work, I'll try and get out on my pedal bike (If I'm allowed 😫) for an hour and get in a good bit of excersize. Really blows out the cobwebs, even when I've been grafting all day!
Alright, Mate, I've been there, doing my old farm house up, lorry Driver, and working on other peoples houses, Plumber, electrician, kitchen and bathroom fitter
I used to be in the alarm game from a 16 year old apprentice, it was a medium size company that do high end security. In the end as I preferred service i was on 4-8 jobs a day in and around London with callouts after that ending up anywhere at the end of the day. The money was good and I did enjoy being at the top of my game but it was affecting my health and home life, my partner left me along with our son. I can't blame this all on the job of course. I now have a much more relaxed job as a site manager, this job change has made me a different and much happier person. If anyones job is affecting their home life, seriously evaluate and see if you can find a less stressful one or field that doesn't take its toll on you and hence your family as much. It might not be everyones answer as most good jobs are hard to come by but I've learnt the hard way its not worth running yourself into the ground at the expense of your family or health. It could just mean switching companies for a happier life, if you have the experience then there's never much to lose if it is making you unhappy all the time.
Personally I never ever stressed about getting enough work. I'm qualified heating engineer and what I noticed was I took a bit of a turn for the worst after my divorce, drink drugs you name it. Its actually been 20 years since I worked what we would call full time. Mind you I attempted a degree in that time as well and worked part time. I now have a job with a local builder but doing a bit of everything, which I love. Yes there have been times were i've felt like walking away but I now would rather work through things rather than just jack to the next job. I'm now trusted, and have a great career ahead of me. I also do a bit of my own work as and when it comes up, but just servicing and the odd boiler commission or install. I'd rather have the guarantee of say £700.00 a week net and earn some extra in my own time. another big one is I gave up drinking 2 years ago and have more energy and am able to think more clearly. Hope this helps someone out there.
Thanks for addressing this topic guys. Love how easy and natural it is for you guys to talk to openly. It's important in the building trades to nurture good relationships. Makes everything go so much smoother. I have no patience for the yelling and screaming that I dealt with in my apprenticeship. Too many egos on site these days. I left a foreman union position to go back into plumbing/hvac service work. I am working on the tools much more, but I only have to worry about myself. This move improved my mental health immensely. Definitely recommend construction plumbers take a risk and go into service. It's very freeing.
So I used to be mostly desk/IT/AV based and found myself in a dark space after about 13 years. Holidays didn't help. I had a bit of cash and a home I owned and a loving partner and still I wasn't happy. Anyways, took a bit of time off work to try and heal. In the end here's a list of little things I found that helped, most of which you've already covered. 1. Give yourself little rewards or treats, not even for a job well done but because it's the 2nd Tuesday of the month. 2. Try your hand at something new. I got into woodworking, and then a bit of gardening, it worked wonders. 3. Redecorate one of your rooms 4. Try a new hobby ie cycling 5. Go see your doc, sometimes there can be something underlying. Turns out I was diabetic as well as being diagnosed bi-polar. Being aware of why you're feeling a certain way is a great thing. 6. Go share a skill with a friend, nothing brings me more joy than teaching a friend to do something, they feel enabled and you feel great.
I choose my clients carefully, if I get the feeling they are going to drive me crazy, I think to myself the money I’ll earn from the job doesn’t matter as it won’t buy my sanity back!
Good plan, foresight is invaluable but rare. "The resolution to avoid and evil is seldom framed until that evil is so far advanced as to make avoidance impossible" Thomas Hardy
Hay Roger and Robin . Or Batman and Robin . 😁 It's great to see you shining a light on the dark side of mental health. I have suffered with my mental health for the over 30 year's I'm now on a lot of medicine to balance things out 🫣 I'm an open book if you ever want to pick my brain how ever broken and I'll be 100% honest and maybe it will help bring around change . Because it's a very broken system run by Cowboys 🤠 if you only take one thing from this message Be kind to yourself.
Happened to me last year . Worked by myself for years and found myself in a bit of a pickle, and I almost ended it !! Family and friends got me back on track and let me know that I was important to them and thing's get better. My advise would be speak to people !!
@Mike Smith Thanks Mike, I'm doing well now, I've realised that ,at the end of the day ,all you need is love. And to let somebody, anybody know what you're going through. I couldn't see the tree's for the Forrest at one point. But now i can safely say that I'm in a good place, and I'm happy with my life . Thanks again for your comment , It show that there is decent people out there ,that are willing to reach out and address issues that need to be spoke about. God bless your Sir.🙏
Excellent discussion, I was working in 1982 on trusses with an abrasive but neat Joiner, tough love basically. And one day Bowie Queen Under Pressure came on radio and shouted to the site agent.."this the Joiners song, Under Fu**ing Pressure!". But its actually so true for self employed men.
Also don't be afraid to speak to your doctor. I did when I went to the doctor said I had been getting a lot of shit from my supervisor and that I had taken it to the MD. Doctor told me my blood pressure is up a bit. Changes were made at work my supervisor was moved on . Next time I had a visit to the doctors my blood pressure is fine ... and they then said my previous BP was very high ...not just up a bit. My point is that if your finding things are rough it can be taking a physical toll on your body ,and also can bring you down mentally. Good vids guys.
Been depressed for years in a desk job and recently discovered what i want as my future and really had a good think about what I want as my end goal and ever since I’ve had a completely different outlook on life and I’ve actually been feeling positive for the first time in so long just because I’m actually aiming for something now.
That is good to know. So many people change carrer mid-way through their working life. I have always mixed it up a bit to stop me getting bored. As far as I am concerened if I am making money I don't care what they call it
I think keeping fit and healthy is key to one's mental health, as well as looking after yourself from a H&S perspective. many of us abandon this to get the job done knowing we will suffer later on in life, since leaving the tools I can now focus on looking after my health, where as I was always too tired after a hard days graft
Great to be tackling this topic - talking is the first step. One thing I've noticed is that a day of physical work makes it easier to get to sleep, but a day of mental work makes it harder. Best wishes, all. :)
Non epileptic attack disorder. 10 years ago I crashed my van into the back of someone at some traffic lights. They pulled off the road and when the lights changed I carried on oblivious. Didn't notice the huge dent in the front grille and bumper til later and thought that it was the bloke who tailed me for 3 miles across Sheffield flashing his lights at me, who I lost at another junction, but he somehow managed to again catch up with me. I reported this vicious attack on my van to the police. Next day, I crashed it into a lamp-post. Two sparkies noticed and came rushing over. I said summat like "eh up lads. What's the rush? At least let's gerra brew on 1st!" "You've just hit that lamp post", which was leaning at around 30 degrees. Again I was utterly oblivious of hitting it, but then the penny dropped. I called the cops. Insisted that they attend asap. I asked them to breath test me. Blew a neg. I made a statement (witnessed by the sparkies) They made corroborating statements. I told the officer that it may have been likely that I had been in an accident the previous day and gave them the crime report number given to me that I had presumably, mistakenly reported. The officer was not even aware of this previous incident at this time. 2 days later, same officer came to my house. He informed me that they were not prosecuting, given the evidence of the sparkies and after consulting the bloke whose car I had hit. He said something to the effect that he couldn't understand why I had driven away either. Officer asked me but asked me to surrender my... already had it to hand and surrendered my license to him. I was referred by my GP to Sheffield Hallamshire neurological dept. Wife went along with me. During the initial consultation, guess what happened? The Dr.s face, when I regained my senses (no jokes yet please) was a picture of gobsmackedness. He referred me to a senior consultant, Prof. Marcus Reuber based in the same department for further investigations. My first lucky break. Prof. Reuber is a world leading authority in research into NEAD. EEG and MRI scans were inconclusive. The most likely reason as to why I was suffering (yes suffering not "experiencing") was STRESS. Put on anti-deprssants and epilepsy meds. I was then refereed to the psych department. After the 1st or 2nd consultation the psych told me to take out my phone and delete every customer for whom I had worked that had messed me around, been ungrateful or who had exploited my eagerness and goodwill. Same with my desk diary contact log-book. thick black lines, delete delete delete. "Do not answer the phone to anyone unless you know who it is. Don't call back unless you receive a voicemail.. who are you, who did you get my number off, where do you live, what do you want. If it's an arsehole (her words..not mine) call back and lie.. you're too busy. If this does not work out you really need to consider not being self employed. Find something meaningful to do in your life, because you have no life, you have allowed yourself to become enslaved" I didn't have an option in the meantime..having no driving license. I had to find 2 part time jobs and take on a third job at Christmas. Shank's pony and bus, obviously. Suffice to say I had resolved to find time to read, listen to music, go climbing, engage with people outside of work and trawl through you-tube for comedy classics. Now, 7 years on seizure free and off meds. Picking for whom I choose to work (except the missus) stoically and resolutely sticking to the advice given, I am in a better place. (my garage conversion, man cave, safe space typing out this bollocks (to anyone still reading)away from the wife's nagging) 50 hrs a week max. That block paved driveway she wants, will have to wait. On a serious note. When MP Philip Davies asked a house committee on men's mental health issues into the possibility of raising a debate on men's mental health particularly higher suicide rates, I do not think that it was Helpful Of MP Jess Philips to laugh at the issue. Jess Philips. I wouldn't even debate her. Link supplied. Notice her reaction at 15 seconds in. ua-cam.com/video/iRWUsn4yyJI/v-deo.html If anyone is still reading this, I will be posting another glib comment. I am not trolling. I am just being silly. Sometimes that in itself is the best medicine.
Hi Loafer We love your humour and comments and it is all the more surprising now I have read your story. Wow what a story. It must have been totally terrifying. Glad to see you are a rock climber. I have done many routes on Stanage Edge, nothing like it, except for the bastards breaking into the vans while we are half way up a crag. Oh for a high powered rifle.
Wasn't really terrifying. More confusing. The meds may have helped, although I was on a low dosage. The lady shrink was very blunt and direct. It was make or break time. I did the regular north west route in Yosemite's half dome 26 years ago after working the BUNAC summer camp scheme. Met a bloke from Montanna in camp 4. It took 2 days alternating leading then hauling the "pig" (hauling a sac with bivi gear) as the 2nd jumared up the lead rope removing runners. I was onsighting E 2/3 back then. Now I mostly go week-end bouldering when the weather is nice and indoors on the walls in winter. Nice to see you are doing a collaboration with with James (Plumberparts)Do me a favour. Ask him, "bourbons or custard creams?" btw .. You and Rob are not the only ones I inflict my daft humour on. ua-cam.com/video/_BOF6zcPZpE/v-deo.html Go to 15:30 George Carlin quite literally saved me from despondency. Becoming a dad at 45 did too. The boy is reading Milligan's "silly verse". Mother does not approve. Bonus!
Excellent video thanks very much. a great coping technique is to externalise the problem, so address it as if you're helping someone else. If you have a grazed leg you don't take it personally in the same way as problems in your head. The more you can do the same with your difficult feelings, the more easily you can deal with problems and ask for help. It takes a lot of practice to think in this way but it is worth persevering.
There is a charity especially aimed at men called CALM (Campaign against living miserably ) you can call them anonymously if you wish and just talk. Brilliant organisation.
Brilliant app called headspace to help with mental health through meditation and reconnecting with your brain and your thought path for anyone struggling to cope, which let’s be honest is everyone who's self employed in this game.
My father's story exactly, he's been in tiles for 30 years now. Your videos makes me wanna enter that business after the faculty as well! Keep the good work (and) videos on guys. And thank you!
Hello, Thank you for a brilliant video again. I used to suffer with depression It took every thing to fall apart for me to learn that I work to live and not live to work. I was 26 and believed that the stress made me work harder and better but caffeine drinks and pills landed me in hospital with heart issues. That was 3 years ago and What I changed was I started treating people better and just taking time to spend with my three beautiful kids. I don’t want them to remember me as I remember my dad always working never keeping Promises of holidays and trips out. Strangely Roger reminds me of a mix of my grandad and my dad.
You two are spot I think I’m the only one going through this being self employed in the building trade for forty odd years bit of a relief people don’t realise who aren’t self employed
This is a vital message to get across. 83% of suicides in the UK are male and it's about time this was addressed. Thank you so much for bringing this message to your channel. It might be worth revisiting the topic again in the future but including within the discussion a mental health expert.
I really enjoy your podcasts. Your basic topics are always great but I particularly enjoy all your side chat. It’s obvious that even after all these years you still enjoy your trades and strive to better yourselves.
Gents, really well done for discussing this issue and being so honest. It is something that does effect men particularly badly as we are not good at talking about things in general. If we can all continue to talk openly like you have, this will hopefully normalise the subject so hopefully more people will talk especially those who are suffering. one thing we've done at work is to call it Mental Wellbeing, rather than Mental Health, as it has just a slightly more positive connotation and again can help people open up. We also learn that everybody is on a well being spectrum, sometimes people are feeling good and can maintain that feeling but that other times things move sideways, which is perfectly normal I'd also recommend watching the Alistair Campbell TV program on earlier this week - some really honest reflections and some hopefully useful coping mechanisms. Eating well, sleeping well and trying to have an an active lifestyle so so important! Look after yourselves, really great thing you've done with this video! I'm sure it will help a lot of people, even if it just starts them to realise where they are. Alastair Campbell: Depression and Me: www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0005btv
A really important topic mental health,I worked in retail for years and there is a big problem with mental health and the company's not knowing how to help and from what I have seen not wanting to help, a massive amount needs to be done! Keep up the good work I always watch your channel👍
I've always been able to avoid stress by not worrying about things that I don't have direct control of. I know of many people who are always with the "What if this, what if that?" Wait till you have something definite which requires you to make a decision.
Great job lads... As a former self-employed person, collecting money was really tough, I am not a very assertive person & will avoid conflict like the plague. The work itself I LOVED... the other stuff killed me... stress is the biggest killer in the western world.... My trade was engineering & I was a self-employed fitter-turner... Theres a vid on youtube of a guy running a mini-digger through a premises because he wasn't getting paid... the comments were very supportive... & most certainly my heart went out to the poor guy .... 😒
im currently not in the best place mentally, for health reasons knocking onto work reasons and such, and mindfulness has been steered my way from several sources in attempts to help me cope. really glad robin mentioned that, as a fellow chippy whom enjoys but gets stressed by the trade work we do, this resonates with me that much more than if said by the average joe that has said this to me.
As the old saying goes. You cannot pour from an empty cup. Mental health is the key to any success in life, be it family, work, or anything else of value to you. If your not happy at least 98% of the time, given that life is hard. Your only here once. If money is all we strive for, we can still be poor, fatham that one out 😂. Great vid guys
Important topic to cover lads. Guys like yourself getting the awareness out there that we can all feel like this, even in the male dominated building industry where we're all supposed to be proper blokes, is a good thing.
I really love the fact that guys can talk about this stuff now. You two guys, when you get together always help put a smile on my face - cheers; guess you call that a bit of 'R&R'!
Take time out like you said. Great conversation guys top blokes the pair of you. Don't look for answers at the bottom of a bottle of wine👍👍👍. Thanks guys
Great that you bring this up! And looking through the comments makes it even better. It is lonely and stressful being a self employed, working alone handyman/carpenter. Doesn’t feel so lonely now 💪🏽
Great podcast guys, thanks for talking about this issue. I agree with everything you said. I've found having a holiday booked in advance helps, gives me something to look forward to, a bit of light at the end of the tunnel. I've just started using the Headspace app, I think it helps a little, regular exercise helps a little and I've found they both help with getting good sleep. Thanks Roger and Robin for talking about mental health in a positive informative way.
As a young person in building doing bathrooms. I work for a company that has crap money and crap work and we are on price work and it is becoming very difficult to make any money and the stress is ridiculous. I can relate to the anger as well
Steven, go self-employed. All kitchen and bathroom companies treat their fitters like shit. I know from personal experience. If your good at what you do, there will be plenty of work out there. Still can be stressful with long hours , but at least you will earn decent money.
@@seankay8137 main issue for me is I am still inexperienced and right now I couldn't do self employed maybe in the future. They just don't give a fuck. Never take in account all the problems you come up against. Some weeks the money is ok then the next few weeks struggle to make 400 quid
Lads, this is the most important topic you'll ever cover on youtube. Definitely revisit this please. Also, people suffering from anxiety/panic attacks may want to look into CBT.
Thanks for video lads. All very true , men's mental health is not talked about in Ireland at all. Keep the video's going guys. This lockdown is head melting. But watching these videos helps. Can't beat a good walk... clear the cobwebs and reboot...cheers lads feeling better all ready..
Self employment can make or break anyone mentally I think a good night's sleep is key and looking after your health in general makes a huge difference, I am a bricklayer who struggles with pricing jobs as sometimes over optimistic with length of time job will take I forget to allow for weather, delivery's etc but I also never turn down any work in fear of running out of work so end up doing seven days a week keeping everyone happy but even though I work permanently I am physically and mentally happy as I rest well in the evening but through another upload of yours I am using your advice and working on my quoting so I am working less and at least earning the same or more👍
Wow! Thank you SO MUCH for this video! It is so useful, valuable, powerful, and refreshing to see people who are, primarily, practical (in their everyday lives and approach to work) acknowledging the stresses and strains we all feel. Great job!
If Depression srikes, I will often take my shoes off and take a stroll on the earth. Our body needs to reconnect to the earth.. even if it means to weed the garden. I once had a really stressful client whom refused to pay several thousands of dollars. After weeks of failed attempts to retrieve the money, a yogi friend had me stand on my head (head stand). Believe it or not, everything resolved itself thereafter but it really had to start with me and dont underestimate the power of utilising unconventional means.
Managing a team was for me mega stressful. Deciding to do only selective jobs by myself or with one other trusted guy that I knew would pay well was answer to my mental health stresses. Another issue though is the loneliness of being a one man band. Especially if you haven't a wife or partner. I found taking up partner dancing did me a world of good. It was fun, good excercise, easy way to make friends connect to a community and great way to switch off from work. So maybe a fun hobby non building related? Another thing at the end of the day make a mental review of all the things you've got to be grateful for...best wishes guys
Well done guys. I met you both last weekend. James the chippy that had a fight with his router. I had very bad depression last year did not sleep for over a week. I took a month off because I just felt like I needed a rest. Depression in days gone by meant "deep rest", and that's exactly what I needed. Also brought myself a motorbike which when ride feels like my medatation. Great work guys talking about this.
Nice to see you last week. I hope that injury is getting better. It hurts a lot more at night. Nice to meet your kids and lovely wife. Look after her, I remember she came out and helped you finish the job after you were wounded. If you get support from your partner you are most of the way there and if you don't you are nowhere and it doesn't seem worth carrying on.
Well covered from a builders perspective, the first thing a contractor does is give the client an interest free loan! Underpricing work is like sending out invitations for random people to give them your money, it is incredibly stressful, been there many times. I would get very depressed on a 9 to 5 with a wage, it would have a worse effect than the down side of our profession.I think the banter on site can be a pressure release valve sometimes.
This is fantastic, I have a this biggest job i have ever done on and its over-run badly, trying to do almost everything myself, have been feeling stressed and it has just reached one of those points your talking about, dark spaces when i was installing a concealed cistern and pan, short story, did it badly broke a toilet and the thing is not over. The trouble is, once you start something that is beyond your ability it is difficult to get advise from those that know what they are doing because you are effectively having to pay them to come round and tell you where you failed and it leads to more bad work trying to put bad work right. But it should be easier, that is what i like about this channel and building on you tube. If you were to do a pod cast on jack of all trades master of none i would be delighted.
I can't believe I came across your video. I had a heart attack two weeks ago. My problem was I didn't have a off switch. As a self employed cable jointer, I find it hard to find the work life balance.
We hope you're recovering nicely David, we know it's hard to take your mind off work or reject any new projects offered, even if they put you under pressure.
Well done guys. Huge pressure in the industry and it's good to hear this coming from two who actually work in the trade and understand the causes and deeper issues of the industry and some of those who work in it. So much better than some generic "lol just breathe and relax bro" vid!
Great information lads ,I find I get stressed when other trades are acting the goat ,when our job is going well it's the best job in the world,but when it goes wrong like a bathroom leak or roof leak it's total pressure. Really enjoyed this thanks
Really important chat chaps and some really solid advice. I'd throw in that there's some really good self-referral programs out there in most counties now, anyone needing help has that as an option. Though as always, it's one of a hundred options - Rodger you did hit the nail on the head though, i'm tempted to change career into the trades and thanks to this talk i'm starting to wonder if it's me escaping something I should be trying to deal with..
Really good one lads as a self employed carpenter we all know what it's like when pressure comes on the more experience u get ie d older u get the better u handle it or care less whichever I get what robein says a lot of us if we get a new job just assume the worst their going to be the biggest bolox ever but it's often d other way around
Thank you guys, this is such an important subject, particularly in Australia where trade suicide is really high. Some great advice offered. Thanks again
30 yrs of self employment made me worry constantly generally about money, always moaning though had some great laughs, relieved I am employed now in my final few years of work
Great video guys respect for doing it. I’ve had a few issues myself and having some help through the hospital at the moment. A bit of mindfulness and some ACT. I’m lucky enough to have been offered it through my consultant as I have a chronic health condition, it’s really really helping. I really enjoy building work, love to do things right and as well as I can. I’ve found negatives compounding my thoughts from social media, no one puts their real struggles online and everything is all instagram! I watch yours and other channels videos and as much as I love them, sometimes it compounds my thoughts about not being good enough at things! But in reality it doesn’t work like that!
Michael Champman Thank you for taking the trouble to put your thoughts down. It is helpful to a lot of people to know your experiences. Don't worry about not being good enough. There is nobody in this world who is good at everything we all have out weaknesses. I am useless at maths and my son is brilliant, but I would not put a drill anywhere near him. I am not sure he has ever picked one up not even as a little kid.
We are haveing building work right now. I think some customers need to be more understanding . Theres no way I'd expect some one finish a job off mid way through there holidays. It will get done in the end as long as it's done well. I work for the government so earn a wage and get sick and holiday pay. As long as the builders do a good job I pay them at the end both sides are happy that what it's all about. Wish I had the skill to do what you guys do you lot make it look so easy. Ps I'm haveing my house monochaushed. Wish me luck haha
Really well done addressing this, ive always said the practical part of the job is the fun bit - the rest is the stressful hard part. My way of dealing with stress is putting my headphones in and rewarding myself with a new machine/tool .. 😉
Even though I've been in this business for a good few years I wouldn't mind doing some work under their supervision because I can bet I would learn a lot. Top lads
Everyone reading this will understand the scenario of struggling to figure out how to fix a problem at 7pm on a Friday night when you're absolutely knackered. Eventually you give up, pack up - go home, have a few nice hours in front of the TV with the wife and a glass or two of red, plus a decent kip. You go back the next morning - and you fix the problem in 5 minutes. Rest is totally, absolutely critical.
Kevin You are so right, we have all been there. I sometimes wonder why I bothered struggling, sometimes until midnight just to get the water back on and some heat in the house. Roger.
1.Think about, what you’re thinking about. Like a watchdog program on computers 2. Grateful people are the most happy people 3. Celebrate successes, , set points in projects to celebrate 4. Plan to do at least one fun thing a week. 5. Alcohol is a depressant 6. Surround yourself with good people 7. Get good sleep 8. Exercise releases endorphins, makes you happy
Hi I’m a builder for 20 odd years and I’ve just sold all my tools cause I’m struggling with depression I don’t want to give up but I just can’t see any other way watching this has made me realise I’m not alone and will seek help and hopefully rebut new tools and start again
Go for it you can do it 💪 ✨️
Issues with being self employed:
1. Paying the bills
2. Not knowing if your gonna have enough work
3. No pension
4. Narky customers
5. Trying your best (and doing a great job) but not being appreciated for it
6. Customer believing it’s 100% your fault when it isn’t
7. The worry when your customer hasn’t paid after a week (or more). You question if they’re happy with the work.
8. Relying on other tradesmen
9. Other trades not doing their job properly making your work much harder
10. Jobsworth building inspectors
11. Desperate for a crap but don’t wanna disturb the household, but go anyway and you know it’s gonna stink
12. Accidental water leaks
13. You think you’ve got the house waterproof mid job but 2am you get a text from the customer saying water is dripping on their heads
14. Keeping things clean
15. On call all the time
16. Sorting out your tax
17. Worry of customers dealing with the upset of the project: dust, intrusion of privacy etc
18. Dealing with customer psychology
19. Trying to understand individual customer etiquette. People have different expectations.
20. Dealing with job extras. You give them a price but you have extras to do. You don’t do it for free.
And so on...
Apart from that, it’s quite enjoyable... 👍🏻
I think you've nailed it! I find it amusing how the highest sick leave is in government employees. Poor things. Imagine having this thing called sick leave or holidays!
@JC-ri4fo it's a pain in the arse at times, but the positives outweigh the negatives. I've noticed with the self-employed, we're independently minded. We're not infected by the corporate mentality, which can only be a good thing. Good day 👍🏻
I'm a GP in the NHS and it is interesting just how few self employed people come along to see me with anxiety or depression compared with the number of people I see who are employed. I guess there are a few reasons - one reason is that a sick line is of little benefit to someone who is self employed, another is that self employed people have a different ethos and take way less sick time because they dont earn money when off. Women see the doctor about mental health problems a lot more readily than men do. Men need to seek help more. We use mindfulness, cognitive behavioural therapy and medication to help.
I had a car crash a few years ago and have been having terrible migraines ever since on and off every couple weeks and they were so bad that I often vomit because of it I told my contractor about it and he told me to " man up " that really played on my mind and brought me down. not working for him any more than god. I have to take anti-depressants now because they widen blood vessels in my brain or something its the only thing that's helped stop the migraines but it does make me feel dull sometimes. i think in construction the mentality is just " man up " which is sad
Thank you for commenting Dr. 👍
@MajorRascal - Being a GP, you of all people must have personal experience of how the pressure of work can affect your mental health. I'm a Paramedic Practitioner in a very busy GP surgery and I have to say the stress is just unbelievable. Just glad I didn't do a medical degree, all the GPs in my practice are falling to pieces! Totally agree with your comments, and they extend to builders working through quite serious illnesses as they are mostly self employed and can't afford to be off work, offering MED3s usually gets met with a head shake and a 'naaa, you're alright mate'. Sad times. Namaste x
Very good topic to talk about.
I’m a self employed plasterer and I’m getting over a serious bout of anxiety and depression.
I took 6 months off work (thankfully we had savings) and I’m currently on antidepressants.
They have seriously got me out of the hole I was in.
I literally couldn’t move out of bed at one point and it all came out the blue, that was the scary part.
The main thing that’s helped me is not only exercise but eating well.
Getting your meat and veg in and eating fruit is a life saver, quite literally.
If any one sees this then I’ll just say this.
Keep talking and don’t bottle things up.
Life’s not all about the big bucks, it’s about enjoying the simple things in life, like the sunrise, the morning walk with the dog, the birds whistling in the morning.
As long as ends are being met and you’ve got food on the table then you’re doing well.
Take care everyone.
I hope that you and your life is good 👍
Right on !
I hope you are keeping well mate! ❤
Thought process is key. I tell myself every morning, today is going to be a good day, regardless what happens.
Yes,that's the key Roger,not always possible but when ever possible always surround yourself with like minded people!
After watching this i feel like i just want to give Roger and Robin the biggest hug.
I never thought skillbuilder would make me emotional, but i say that in a nice way, because just from these two gentlemen making this video, could very well help someone with this problem.
Thank you Skillbuilder, and all of you i wish you a beautiful bank holiday.
Started having panic attacks age 40ish. Feel fine now. What worked for me...
- Found a few new hobbies
- Found a better place to live
- Stopped drinking spirits
- Stopped smoking
- Got more spiritual
- Ate better food (less carbs more plant based greens etc)
- Got more Exercise
- Lost some negative friends
- More quality time with family
- Lost weight
- Focussed the career on enjoyable stuff (say no to the crap work)
- Sold stuff I didn't need
- More positive music
welldone boys..a very important subject that is not openly talked about enough,esspecialy in the very masqline ego driven building industry..ive been a carpenter for 27 years and ive got my own experiance of poor mental health..i turned to drugs and alchol to try and cope with the day to day.it worked for a very samll amount of time but bit me on the arse..heroin and cocaine addiction,injecting,snorting,swollowing and drinking anything i could get my hands on..ended up on the streets.prison,countless court cases and programs,probation,mental health hospitals and all the rest of the chaos..ive learnt that the biggest tool that i own is my mouth and my willingness to reach out,with out shame and talk with like minded people..today i am almost 13 years clean and sober,i run two buissnesses,one carpentry and a catering truck,selling fresh juices and smoothies,currys,falafals and the like at festivals..and yes i couldnt agree more,exercise is a real game changer for taking care of my mental health.
once again,thanks a lot for this great channel boys,its a fantastic resourse,
Yup! Exercise is the best drug to trade our existing vices for! Also a proper diet is an amazing way to help mental health. Didn't believe how effective unit i did my own Research & Trials. A good diet can literally save your life! Love your tale of triumph!
A video that's going to be uncomfortable for some, but essential for others. Well done guys.
I'll be brief but I was involved in a near fatal non-fault traffic accident a few years ago. Shattered pelvis, hip, leg (nearly amputated), lost 80% blood, etc. Air Ambulance, 25 hours of surgery, wheelchair/crutches for 18 months and so on. My point is that I denied it was happening to me for the 1st year, acted like an observer and that was my worst mistake. Eventually started having panic attacks and depression. Was told by then GF, who had to be my carer for 5 months, that I needed help. I got it, it was worse than having teeth pulled but in the long run it was the right move. After a lot of sessions came off anti-depressants and got my head sorted. Takes guts to deal with an invisible problems and you will be proud of yourself afterwards, doesn't matter that most people will never see what you've overcome.
Hope that helps some people.
I was self employed most of life but ended up spending too much time in isolation either in my workshop or on my own on jobs .went into teaching woodwork and changed my life ,
How to deal with stress - Feet up, UA-cam on, Skill Builder videos on autoplay.
Well done lads.👍
Cheers boys. I’m in it right now. 2 very young kids, busy work days, a home I’m still pulling together and few things not gone my way recently. I Really can’t figure out where I get any time for myself.
Nice to hear you boys talk about this and reading the comments from tons of people been through it. Helps me see there’s that light somewhere down the road. Appreciate this.
When i get home from work, I'll try and get out on my pedal bike (If I'm allowed 😫) for an hour and get in a good bit of excersize. Really blows out the cobwebs, even when I've been grafting all day!
Alright, Mate, I've been there, doing my old farm house up, lorry Driver, and working on other peoples houses, Plumber, electrician, kitchen and bathroom fitter
I’ve been a Contractor over 30 years, it never goes away but, faith, family and saying no helps, thanks guys, great subject.
I used to be in the alarm game from a 16 year old apprentice, it was a medium size company that do high end security. In the end as I preferred service i was on 4-8 jobs a day in and around London with callouts after that ending up anywhere at the end of the day. The money was good and I did enjoy being at the top of my game but it was affecting my health and home life, my partner left me along with our son. I can't blame this all on the job of course. I now have a much more relaxed job as a site manager, this job change has made me a different and much happier person. If anyones job is affecting their home life, seriously evaluate and see if you can find a less stressful one or field that doesn't take its toll on you and hence your family as much. It might not be everyones answer as most good jobs are hard to come by but I've learnt the hard way its not worth running yourself into the ground at the expense of your family or health. It could just mean switching companies for a happier life, if you have the experience then there's never much to lose if it is making you unhappy all the time.
Personally I never ever stressed about getting enough work. I'm qualified heating engineer and what I noticed was I took a bit of a turn for the worst after my divorce, drink drugs you name it. Its actually been 20 years since I worked what we would call full time. Mind you I attempted a degree in that time as well and worked part time. I now have a job with a local builder but doing a bit of everything, which I love. Yes there have been times were i've felt like walking away but I now would rather work through things rather than just jack to the next job. I'm now trusted, and have a great career ahead of me. I also do a bit of my own work as and when it comes up, but just servicing and the odd boiler commission or install. I'd rather have the guarantee of say £700.00 a week net and earn some extra in my own time. another big one is I gave up drinking 2 years ago and have more energy and am able to think more clearly. Hope this helps someone out there.
Thanks Tim that is good to hear. We can all learn something from others. I am glad it is working out for you.
Thanks for addressing this topic guys. Love how easy and natural it is for you guys to talk to openly. It's important in the building trades to nurture good relationships. Makes everything go so much smoother. I have no patience for the yelling and screaming that I dealt with in my apprenticeship. Too many egos on site these days. I left a foreman union position to go back into plumbing/hvac service work. I am working on the tools much more, but I only have to worry about myself. This move improved my mental health immensely. Definitely recommend construction plumbers take a risk and go into service. It's very freeing.
So I used to be mostly desk/IT/AV based and found myself in a dark space after about 13 years. Holidays didn't help. I had a bit of cash and a home I owned and a loving partner and still I wasn't happy. Anyways, took a bit of time off work to try and heal. In the end here's a list of little things I found that helped, most of which you've already covered.
1. Give yourself little rewards or treats, not even for a job well done but because it's the 2nd Tuesday of the month.
2. Try your hand at something new. I got into woodworking, and then a bit of gardening, it worked wonders.
3. Redecorate one of your rooms
4. Try a new hobby ie cycling
5. Go see your doc, sometimes there can be something underlying. Turns out I was diabetic as well as being diagnosed bi-polar. Being aware of why you're feeling a certain way is a great thing.
6. Go share a skill with a friend, nothing brings me more joy than teaching a friend to do something, they feel enabled and you feel great.
its so nice to see that some people are dealing with stress and other stuff and talk about it so other can learn about how they behave
I choose my clients carefully, if I get the feeling they are going to drive me crazy, I think to myself the money I’ll earn from the job doesn’t matter as it won’t buy my sanity back!
Good plan, foresight is invaluable but rare. "The resolution to avoid and evil is seldom framed until that evil is so far advanced as to make avoidance impossible" Thomas Hardy
Hay Roger and Robin . Or Batman and Robin . 😁 It's great to see you shining a light on the dark side of mental health. I have suffered with my mental health for the over 30 year's I'm now on a lot of medicine to balance things out 🫣 I'm an open book if you ever want to pick my brain how ever broken and I'll be 100% honest and maybe it will help bring around change . Because it's a very broken system run by Cowboys 🤠 if you only take one thing from this message Be kind to yourself.
Happened to me last year .
Worked by myself for years and found myself in a bit of a pickle, and I almost ended it !!
Family and friends got me back on track and let me know that I was important to them and thing's get better.
My advise would be speak to people !!
@Mike Smith Thanks Mike, I'm doing well now, I've realised that ,at the end of the day ,all you need is love. And to let somebody, anybody know what you're going through.
I couldn't see the tree's for the Forrest at one point.
But now i can safely say that I'm in a good place, and I'm happy with my life .
Thanks again for your comment ,
It show that there is decent people out there ,that are willing to reach out and address issues that need to be spoke about.
God bless your Sir.🙏
Excellent discussion, I was working in 1982 on trusses with an abrasive but neat Joiner, tough love basically. And one day Bowie Queen Under Pressure came on radio and shouted to the site agent.."this the Joiners song, Under Fu**ing Pressure!".
But its actually so true for self employed men.
Also don't be afraid to speak to your doctor. I did when I went to the doctor said I had been getting a lot of shit from my supervisor and that I had taken it to the MD. Doctor told me my blood pressure is up a bit. Changes were made at work my supervisor was moved on . Next time I had a visit to the doctors my blood pressure is fine ... and they then said my previous BP was very high ...not just up a bit. My point is that if your finding things are rough it can be taking a physical toll on your body ,and also can bring you down mentally. Good vids guys.
Important subject Very well covered👍
Been depressed for years in a desk job and recently discovered what i want as my future and really had a good think about what I want as my end goal and ever since I’ve had a completely different outlook on life and I’ve actually been feeling positive for the first time in so long just because I’m actually aiming for something now.
That is good to know. So many people change carrer mid-way through their working life. I have always mixed it up a bit to stop me getting bored. As far as I am concerened if I am making money I don't care what they call it
I think keeping fit and healthy is key to one's mental health, as well as looking after yourself from a H&S perspective. many of us abandon this to get the job done knowing we will suffer later on in life, since leaving the tools I can now focus on looking after my health, where as I was always too tired after a hard days graft
Great to be tackling this topic - talking is the first step. One thing I've noticed is that a day of physical work makes it easier to get to sleep, but a day of mental work makes it harder. Best wishes, all. :)
We'll have to talk more about the wellbeing side of things, such a good subject.
Non epileptic attack disorder. 10 years ago I crashed my van into the back of someone at some traffic lights. They pulled off the road and when the lights changed I carried on oblivious. Didn't notice the huge dent in the front grille and bumper til later and thought that it was the bloke who tailed me for 3 miles across Sheffield flashing his lights at me, who I lost at another junction, but he somehow managed to again catch up with me. I reported this vicious attack on my van to the police. Next day, I crashed it into a lamp-post. Two sparkies noticed and came rushing over. I said summat like "eh up lads. What's the rush? At least let's gerra brew on 1st!" "You've just hit that lamp post", which was leaning at around 30 degrees. Again I was utterly oblivious of hitting it, but then the penny dropped.
I called the cops. Insisted that they attend asap. I asked them to breath test me. Blew a neg. I made a statement (witnessed by the sparkies) They made corroborating statements. I told the officer that it may have been likely that I had been in an accident the previous day and gave them the crime report number given to me that I had presumably, mistakenly reported. The officer was not even aware of this previous incident at this time. 2 days later, same officer came to my house. He informed me that they were not prosecuting, given the evidence of the sparkies and after consulting the bloke whose car I had hit. He said something to the effect that he couldn't understand why I had driven away either. Officer asked me but asked me to surrender my... already had it to hand and surrendered my license to him.
I was referred by my GP to Sheffield Hallamshire neurological dept. Wife went along with me. During the initial consultation, guess what happened? The Dr.s face, when I regained my senses (no jokes yet please) was a picture of gobsmackedness. He referred me to a senior consultant, Prof. Marcus Reuber based in the same department for further investigations. My first lucky break. Prof. Reuber is a world leading authority in research into NEAD.
EEG and MRI scans were inconclusive. The most likely reason as to why I was suffering (yes suffering not "experiencing") was STRESS. Put on anti-deprssants and epilepsy meds. I was then refereed to the psych department. After the 1st or 2nd consultation the psych told me to take out my phone and delete every customer for whom I had worked that had messed me around, been ungrateful or who had exploited my eagerness and goodwill. Same with my desk diary contact log-book. thick black lines, delete delete delete.
"Do not answer the phone to anyone unless you know who it is. Don't call back unless you receive a voicemail.. who are you, who did you get my number off, where do you live, what do you want. If it's an arsehole (her words..not mine) call back and lie.. you're too busy. If this does not work out you really need to consider not being self employed. Find something meaningful to do in your life, because you have no life, you have allowed yourself to become enslaved"
I didn't have an option in the meantime..having no driving license. I had to find 2 part time jobs and take on a third job at Christmas. Shank's pony and bus, obviously. Suffice to say I had resolved to find time to read, listen to music, go climbing, engage with people outside of work and trawl through you-tube for comedy classics.
Now, 7 years on seizure free and off meds. Picking for whom I choose to work (except the missus) stoically and resolutely sticking to the advice given, I am in a better place. (my garage conversion, man cave, safe space typing out this bollocks (to anyone still reading)away from the wife's nagging) 50 hrs a week max. That block paved driveway she wants, will have to wait.
On a serious note. When MP Philip Davies asked a house committee on men's mental health issues into the possibility of raising a debate on men's mental health particularly higher suicide rates, I do not think that it was Helpful Of MP Jess Philips to laugh at the issue.
Jess Philips. I wouldn't even debate her. Link supplied. Notice her reaction at 15 seconds in.
ua-cam.com/video/iRWUsn4yyJI/v-deo.html
If anyone is still reading this, I will be posting another glib comment. I am not trolling. I am just being silly. Sometimes that in itself is the best medicine.
Thanks interesting informative post. Being enslaved in your self employed businesses is a trap I and many people fall into.
@Jonathan Winn. Thanks. Hope that you, yourself, are doing better.
Hi Loafer
We love your humour and comments and it is all the more surprising now I have read your story. Wow what a story. It must have been totally terrifying.
Glad to see you are a rock climber. I have done many routes on Stanage Edge, nothing like it, except for the bastards breaking into the vans while we are half way up a crag. Oh for a high powered rifle.
Wasn't really terrifying. More confusing. The meds may have helped, although I was on a low dosage. The lady shrink was very blunt and direct. It was make or break time.
I did the regular north west route in Yosemite's half dome 26 years ago after working the BUNAC summer camp scheme. Met a bloke from Montanna in camp 4. It took 2 days alternating leading then hauling the "pig" (hauling a sac with bivi gear) as the 2nd jumared up the lead rope removing runners. I was onsighting E 2/3 back then. Now I mostly go week-end bouldering when the weather is nice and indoors on the walls in winter.
Nice to see you are doing a collaboration with with James (Plumberparts)Do me a favour. Ask him, "bourbons or custard creams?"
btw .. You and Rob are not the only ones I inflict my daft humour on.
ua-cam.com/video/_BOF6zcPZpE/v-deo.html
Go to 15:30
George Carlin quite literally saved me from despondency. Becoming a dad at 45 did too. The boy is reading Milligan's "silly verse". Mother does not approve. Bonus!
Excellent video thanks very much.
a great coping technique is to externalise the problem, so address it as if you're helping someone else.
If you have a grazed leg you don't take it personally in the same way as problems in your head.
The more you can do the same with your difficult feelings, the more easily you can deal with problems and ask for help.
It takes a lot of practice to think in this way but it is worth persevering.
There is a charity especially aimed at men called CALM (Campaign against living miserably ) you can call them anonymously if you wish and just talk. Brilliant organisation.
Brilliant app called headspace to help with mental health through meditation and reconnecting with your brain and your thought path for anyone struggling to cope, which let’s be honest is everyone who's self employed in this game.
My father's story exactly, he's been in tiles for 30 years now. Your videos makes me wanna enter that business after the faculty as well! Keep the good work (and) videos on guys. And thank you!
Hello,
Thank you for a brilliant video again.
I used to suffer with depression It took every thing to fall apart for me to learn that I work to live and not live to work. I was 26 and believed that the stress made me work harder and better but caffeine drinks and pills landed me in hospital with heart issues. That was 3 years ago and What I changed was I started treating people better and just taking time to spend with my three beautiful kids. I don’t want them to remember me as I remember my dad always working never keeping Promises of holidays and trips out. Strangely Roger reminds me of a mix of my grandad and my dad.
You two are spot I think I’m the only one going through this being self employed in the building trade for forty odd years bit of a relief people don’t realise who aren’t self employed
This is a vital message to get across. 83% of suicides in the UK are male and it's about time this was addressed. Thank you so much for bringing this message to your channel. It might be worth revisiting the topic again in the future but including within the discussion a mental health expert.
I really enjoy your podcasts. Your basic topics are always great but I particularly enjoy all your side chat.
It’s obvious that even after all these years you still enjoy your trades and strive to better yourselves.
Gents, really well done for discussing this issue and being so honest.
It is something that does effect men particularly badly as we are not good at talking about things in general. If we can all continue to talk openly like you have, this will hopefully normalise the subject so hopefully more people will talk especially those who are suffering. one thing we've done at work is to call it Mental Wellbeing, rather than Mental Health, as it has just a slightly more positive connotation and again can help people open up. We also learn that everybody is on a well being spectrum, sometimes people are feeling good and can maintain that feeling but that other times things move sideways, which is perfectly normal
I'd also recommend watching the Alistair Campbell TV program on earlier this week - some really honest reflections and some hopefully useful coping mechanisms. Eating well, sleeping well and trying to have an an active lifestyle so so important!
Look after yourselves, really great thing you've done with this video! I'm sure it will help a lot of people, even if it just starts them to realise where they are.
Alastair Campbell: Depression and Me: www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0005btv
A really important topic mental health,I worked in retail for years and there is a big problem with mental health and the company's not knowing how to help and from what I have seen not wanting to help, a massive amount needs to be done! Keep up the good work I always watch your channel👍
I've always been able to avoid stress by not worrying about things that I don't have direct control of. I know of many people who are always with the "What if this, what if that?" Wait till you have something definite which requires you to make a decision.
Great job lads...
As a former self-employed person, collecting money was really tough, I am not a very assertive person & will avoid conflict like the plague. The work itself I LOVED... the other stuff killed me... stress is the biggest killer in the western world....
My trade was engineering & I was a self-employed fitter-turner...
Theres a vid on youtube of a guy running a mini-digger through a premises because he wasn't getting paid... the comments were very supportive... & most certainly my heart went out to the poor guy .... 😒
im currently not in the best place mentally, for health reasons knocking onto work reasons and such, and mindfulness has been steered my way from several sources in attempts to help me cope. really glad robin mentioned that, as a fellow chippy whom enjoys but gets stressed by the trade work we do, this resonates with me that much more than if said by the average joe that has said this to me.
As the old saying goes. You cannot pour from an empty cup. Mental health is the key to any success in life, be it family, work, or anything else of value to you. If your not happy at least 98% of the time, given that life is hard. Your only here once. If money is all we strive for, we can still be poor, fatham that one out 😂. Great vid guys
Robin is so likeable when he is talking about his past
Follow your intuition, no stress should acquire if folowed
Please do some more podcasts, I like the British centric nature of the ones so far, there's so many subjects to discuss relating to British trades
These 2 fella's are good conscientious working men, both excellent tradesmen as well
Important topic to cover lads. Guys like yourself getting the awareness out there that we can all feel like this, even in the male dominated building industry where we're all supposed to be proper blokes, is a good thing.
yep rewarding yourself is important
I really love the fact that guys can talk about this stuff now. You two guys, when you get together always help put a smile on my face - cheers; guess you call that a bit of 'R&R'!
Thanks Ezza, we'll make an effort to do more podcasts in 2020
Although 5yrs old, very relevant. Thank you.
Take time out like you said. Great conversation guys top blokes the pair of you. Don't look for answers at the bottom of a bottle of wine👍👍👍. Thanks guys
Great that you bring this up! And looking through the comments makes it even better. It is lonely and stressful being a self employed, working alone handyman/carpenter. Doesn’t feel so lonely now 💪🏽
You're not alone Jakob, we can all support each other and share our experiences and strategies here.
Work with someone, or take on a young lad/lass. It'll make so much difference you won't believe.
I know as I struggled by myself for years.
Great podcast guys, thanks for talking about this issue. I agree with everything you said. I've found having a holiday booked in advance helps, gives me something to look forward to, a bit of light at the end of the tunnel. I've just started using the Headspace app, I think it helps a little, regular exercise helps a little and I've found they both help with getting good sleep.
Thanks Roger and Robin for talking about mental health in a positive informative way.
Really needed this lads! Thanks for reminding people it's all part of the game.
As a young person in building doing bathrooms. I work for a company that has crap money and crap work and we are on price work and it is becoming very difficult to make any money and the stress is ridiculous. I can relate to the anger as well
Steven, go self-employed. All kitchen and bathroom companies treat their fitters like shit.
I know from personal experience. If your good at what you do, there will be plenty of work out there. Still can be stressful with long hours , but at least you will earn decent money.
@@seankay8137 main issue for me is I am still inexperienced and right now I couldn't do self employed maybe in the future. They just don't give a fuck. Never take in account all the problems you come up against. Some weeks the money is ok then the next few weeks struggle to make 400 quid
Lads, this is the most important topic you'll ever cover on youtube. Definitely revisit this please.
Also, people suffering from anxiety/panic attacks may want to look into CBT.
Thanks for video lads. All very true , men's mental health is not talked about in Ireland at all. Keep the video's going guys. This lockdown is head melting. But watching these videos helps. Can't beat a good walk... clear the cobwebs and reboot...cheers lads feeling better all ready..
Self employment can make or break anyone mentally I think a good night's sleep is key and looking after your health in general makes a huge difference, I am a bricklayer who struggles with pricing jobs as sometimes over optimistic with length of time job will take I forget to allow for weather, delivery's etc but I also never turn down any work in fear of running out of work so end up doing seven days a week keeping everyone happy but even though I work permanently I am physically and mentally happy as I rest well in the evening but through another upload of yours I am using your advice and working on my quoting so I am working less and at least earning the same or more👍
Wow! Thank you SO MUCH for this video! It is so useful, valuable, powerful, and refreshing to see people who are, primarily, practical (in their everyday lives and approach to work) acknowledging the stresses and strains we all feel. Great job!
If Depression srikes, I will often take my shoes off and take a stroll on the earth. Our body needs to reconnect to the earth.. even if it means to weed the garden.
I once had a really stressful client whom refused to pay several thousands of dollars. After weeks of failed attempts to retrieve the money, a yogi friend had me stand on my head (head stand). Believe it or not, everything resolved itself thereafter but it really had to start with me and dont underestimate the power of utilising unconventional means.
You boys are very generous with your valuable time and energy making these vids. Good on you both.
Thanks Mark
Managing a team was for me mega stressful. Deciding to do only selective jobs by myself or with one other trusted guy that I knew would pay well was answer to my mental health stresses. Another issue though is the loneliness of being a one man band. Especially if you haven't a wife or partner. I found taking up partner dancing did me a world of good. It was fun, good excercise, easy way to make friends connect to a community and great way to switch off from work. So maybe a fun hobby non building related?
Another thing at the end of the day make a mental review of all the things you've got to be grateful for...best wishes guys
well done on talking about this,its so important to deal with ,each area have walk in centers Iv'e used them and they are brilliant
very satisfying when you finished a good job, but on to the next one and same thing over again
Well done guys. I met you both last weekend. James the chippy that had a fight with his router. I had very bad depression last year did not sleep for over a week. I took a month off because I just felt like I needed a rest. Depression in days gone by meant "deep rest", and that's exactly what I needed. Also brought myself a motorbike which when ride feels like my medatation. Great work guys talking about this.
Nice to see you last week. I hope that injury is getting better. It hurts a lot more at night. Nice to meet your kids and lovely wife. Look after her, I remember she came out and helped you finish the job after you were wounded. If you get support from your partner you are most of the way there and if you don't you are nowhere and it doesn't seem worth carrying on.
Excellent!
Well covered from a builders perspective, the first thing a contractor does is give the client an interest free loan! Underpricing work is like sending out invitations for random people to give them your money, it is incredibly stressful, been there many times. I would get very depressed on a 9 to 5 with a wage, it would have a worse effect than the down side of our profession.I think the banter on site can be a pressure release valve sometimes.
Bang on! Totally agree that the banter helps!
This is fantastic, I have a this biggest job i have ever done on and its over-run badly, trying to do almost everything myself, have been feeling stressed and it has just reached one of those points your talking about, dark spaces when i was installing a concealed cistern and pan, short story, did it badly broke a toilet and the thing is not over. The trouble is, once you start something that is beyond your ability it is difficult to get advise from those that know what they are doing because you are effectively having to pay them to come round and tell you where you failed and it leads to more bad work trying to put bad work right. But it should be easier, that is what i like about this channel and building on you tube. If you were to do a pod cast on jack of all trades master of none i would be delighted.
Giving it two coats of emotion. Great podcast lads.
Fantastic that you have approached this subject I feel sure everybody will appreciate
I can't believe I came across your video. I had a heart attack two weeks ago. My problem was I didn't have a off switch. As a self employed cable jointer, I find it hard to find the work life balance.
We hope you're recovering nicely David, we know it's hard to take your mind off work or reject any new projects offered, even if they put you under pressure.
Well done guys. Huge pressure in the industry and it's good to hear this coming from two who actually work in the trade and understand the causes and deeper issues of the industry and some of those who work in it. So much better than some generic "lol just breathe and relax bro" vid!
Great information lads ,I find I get stressed when other trades are acting the goat ,when our job is going well it's the best job in the world,but when it goes wrong like a bathroom leak or roof leak it's total pressure. Really enjoyed this thanks
Really important chat chaps and some really solid advice. I'd throw in that there's some really good self-referral programs out there in most counties now, anyone needing help has that as an option. Though as always, it's one of a hundred options - Rodger you did hit the nail on the head though, i'm tempted to change career into the trades and thanks to this talk i'm starting to wonder if it's me escaping something I should be trying to deal with..
Really good one lads as a self employed carpenter we all know what it's like when pressure comes on the more experience u get ie d older u get the better u handle it or care less whichever I get what robein says a lot of us if we get a new job just assume the worst their going to be the biggest bolox ever but it's often d other way around
Thank you guys, this is such an important subject, particularly in Australia where trade suicide is really high. Some great advice offered. Thanks again
You two lads are absolute stars ! A very serious subject covered brilliantly 👍
Best thing after finishing a job, a day on the lake fishing 🎣
You got that right!
Thanks you both, most heartwarming.
Life is one big mental health issue, good one again Roger/Robin
30 yrs of self employment made me worry constantly generally about money, always moaning though had some great laughs, relieved I am employed now in my final few years of work
Great video today guys
Very important
Thanks
Great video guys respect for doing it. I’ve had a few issues myself and having some help through the hospital at the moment. A bit of mindfulness and some ACT. I’m lucky enough to have been offered it through my consultant as I have a chronic health condition, it’s really really helping. I really enjoy building work, love to do things right and as well as I can. I’ve found negatives compounding my thoughts from social media, no one puts their real struggles online and everything is all instagram! I watch yours and other channels videos and as much as I love them, sometimes it compounds my thoughts about not being good enough at things! But in reality it doesn’t work like that!
Michael Champman
Thank you for taking the trouble to put your thoughts down. It is helpful to a lot of people to know your experiences. Don't worry about not being good enough. There is nobody in this world who is good at everything we all have out weaknesses. I am useless at maths and my son is brilliant, but I would not put a drill anywhere near him. I am not sure he has ever picked one up not even as a little kid.
Well done gents great subject , keep them coming .
We’ve all been there. I had my van and tools stolen and it nearly broke me but the break did me good. Everything happens for a reason
my good mate is an architect, his release is working on his house. mine is drawing up timber frames to speed up quoting.
Two great guys! Well done, good video.
We are haveing building work right now. I think some customers need to be more understanding . Theres no way I'd expect some one finish a job off mid way through there holidays. It will get done in the end as long as it's done well. I work for the government so earn a wage and get sick and holiday pay. As long as the builders do a good job I pay them at the end both sides are happy that what it's all about. Wish I had the skill to do what you guys do you lot make it look so easy. Ps I'm haveing my house monochaushed. Wish me luck haha
Really well done addressing this, ive always said the practical part of the job is the fun bit - the rest is the stressful hard part. My way of dealing with stress is putting my headphones in and rewarding myself with a new machine/tool .. 😉
Even though I've been in this business for a good few years I wouldn't mind doing some work under their supervision because I can bet I would learn a lot. Top lads
Another great podcast - kudos to you for discussing such an important issue.
Mad respect for this video, thanks guys!
Great topic! Enjoyed it thoroughly. Cheers.
Very relevant. Well done
Everyone reading this will understand the scenario of struggling to figure out how to fix a problem at 7pm on a Friday night when you're absolutely knackered. Eventually you give up, pack up - go home, have a few nice hours in front of the TV with the wife and a glass or two of red, plus a decent kip. You go back the next morning - and you fix the problem in 5 minutes. Rest is totally, absolutely critical.
Kevin
You are so right, we have all been there. I sometimes wonder why I bothered struggling, sometimes until midnight just to get the water back on and some heat in the house. Roger.
Expectations vs reality. If they are even then no stress.
That was a pleasant watch 👍👌
Top marks chaps.
1.Think about, what you’re thinking about. Like a watchdog program on computers
2. Grateful people are the most happy people
3. Celebrate successes, , set points in projects to celebrate
4. Plan to do at least one fun thing a week.
5. Alcohol is a depressant
6. Surround yourself with good people
7. Get good sleep
8. Exercise releases endorphins, makes you happy
8 really good points that we agree with. Thanks ktm
Great topic guys it’s made me stop and think.?