My Dad Died...
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- Опубліковано 5 лис 2016
- I keep trying to carry on. Making this video gave me some sort of closure I couldn't get otherwise. Thanks for watching. Hopefully back to normal videos next week goo.gl/65evwQ
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I love you Evan. Now you're surrounded by love. And care. It's okay to feel guilt, shame, hurt, sadness. I'm here to hear it and experience it with you
And you protected yourself. You may experience guilt but you did what you had to in order to be happy.
doddleoddle couldn't have said it better
this says it perfectly! always put yourself first Evan, we love you
doddleoddle You summed it up quite nicely.
Well said ! I felt guilt when my hamster died cause she was only alive for 11 months and i felt like it was all my fault and i was so upset but i realised there was no point in being sad because im sure the one who passed away would want you to celerbrate there life and stay positive and not just cry about it ! x
I understand the whole "it just felt weird" thing so much.
My mom died on my first week of high school and when my sister woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me, I just went back to sleep. I remember getting mad because everyone had the lights on and they were being loud on a school night while writing her death certificate. I got up the next morning and went to school. That was the one year I had perfect attendance.
She was my "good example of what NOT to be." and it's so easy to block out the few good memories of her I have. I even use to get mad at her for giving up and not fighting to stay alive. It made me feel like my sister and I weren't worth fighting for. But now that I'm older, I think I understand why her life played out the way it did, and I can't be mad at her for that.
I hope everything gets better. Thank you for making this.
Echo Gillette omg ECHO I LOVE YOU what amazing advice your such a nice person
Awe love you Echo
Echo Gillette ECHO! YOU obviously can relate to this...and I really hope that wasn't offensive. I LOVE YOU
Gerard Way's Hat OMG UR NAME
❤
**sending hugs**
frida *Sendings hugs* “it’s ok”
**sending pugs too**
I gave you 666 likes
Same
"Instead of using the word 'regret', use the term 'I made the best decision I could given the circumstances I'd been given at that particular time."
-Jenna Marbles.
Hope everything's going okay❤️
Mindy Larke and that’s why we don’t ask Jenna for quotes
@@Alucard-gt1zf 😐
I am one of you old lady followers--okay really old, like 65. I think you are such an interesting, admirable and adventurous guy! So, I am going to finally post. Here is what I think. Forgive your dad and FORGIVE YOURSELF! Go ahead and let yourself be sad--you lost your dad and you lost what might have been . But sweetheart, it was and is okay to protect yourself. Relationships with parents don't end when they die. You will still work this one out. Meantime, you might consider what role having a difficult dad played in making you adventurous, curious, and independent. Here's another hug, and be kind to yourself!
I wholeheartedly agree with this comment!
parkviewmo You are an amazing person too!!
+
This comment is so lovely
+ @parkviewmo i think you should start a youtube channel too! would be lovely to hear advices from you.
Oh Evan. I'm sobbing. I know sympathy is probably what you're currently getting a lot of and there's nothing I can say that everyone else hasn't already said. But even though we don't really know each other that well, please know that I'm here. I'm always just a Facebook message away if ever you need a friendly, meaningless chat or a deep and meaningful one. You have plenty of friends whom I'm sure have offered a shoulder but I just wanted you to know, mine is another one.
ItsWayPastMyBedTime You're so kind...
ItsWayPastMyBedTime you and Evan are amazing people and I love you both
ItsWayPastMyBedTime carrie you're the bestt
ItsWayPastMyBedTime How are you so kind??
Carrie, you always know what to say to make people feel better!❤
Let him mourn. Don't judge him for regretting not speaking to his father, for cutting out an abuser and then regretting it, like. You need to chill.
You're a strong person Evan, and this was a powerful video.
My thoughts are with you.
Katie Marie These are ideas have been provided by your own head! At no point, at least from understanding, is there a comment like that on this video. Don't protect something that doesn't need protecting set heart on something that it :)
Edit: My first language is english, I have no idea why I couldn't write properly. What I meant was that, from what I could see, no one in the comments was judging him. Katie was fighting back at something that didn't exist.
@@funnyname9679 If you're referring to Katie Marie's mention of Evan's father being an abuser... from what Evan said in his video... his father was abusive. There are clear indicators to suggest this was the case. Emotional and psychological abuse is as real and as harmful as physical abuse.
@@dickieOiRed_07 I edited my comment, for some reason I couldn't type properly that day lol.
@@funnyname9679 I see. We all have those days lol :)
@@dickieOiRed_07 no one cares that his dad died
Please don't say "don't be me". Say "learn from me". Remember, humans are people and people are flawed.
is that what he said? I though he said don't be mean...
I don't give a damn
I think I found my favourite quote 👍🏽
Please just face reality and stop being a dick.
My mom passed away almost 4 weeks ago and I'm 16. My dad got taken away when I was 9. My dog died 11 days before my mom did. I could never make a video like this so I can't even imagine how hard it was for you. It's been so difficult for me the past weeks.
I can't imagine how you're feeling right now but remember that it's okay to be sad and feel the way you do. You don't know me and I don't know you but I'm sending you all my love right now.
Leana Warren Brave of you to reach out and share, it broke my heart, but send you my love as well.
Leana Warren I can't imagine how you're feeling. I hope you're doing okay and have people who love you and you love them. And hope you have support. ❤️❤️❤️❤️ I want to hug you.
What a brave human you are. It's unimaginable what you're going through, you're an inspiration to everyone, sending you all my love and hugs 💗💗
Leana Warren lol
Proud of you
+Lucy Moon 🤔
Lucy Moon cute
I wish I could just crawl through the screen and just hug Evan. Stay strong dude, your amazing and you can get through this
Imagine just a random person climbing out of your camera and hug you.
*trying to lighten the mood*
family isn't always blood
SafeBox family don't end in blood boy
True, but dismissing the importance of blood relations is foolish
sara ali not always. I was both physically and mentally abused by my entire family other than my parents. My best friend has been mentally abused by most of her family. Sometimes it’s better to cut certain relationships out of your life even if they are blood relations. Sometimes you regret it like Evan did but sometimes they can save your life. I have tried not putting my family in a box but because of how they have treated me my whole life it’s healthier for me to pretend we aren’t related. They caused me to have suicidal(sorry about the spelling)by the time I was 9. I have countless mental and physical scars from my family and as I got older I realized they aren’t my real family. Sometimes your real family isn’t related to you through blood.
How come there are sooo many long, thoughtful comments from friends, fans and family, but this one little sentence impacted me just as much?
@@mollymermaid1398 "A wise man once told me family don’t end in blood, but it doesn’t start there either. Family cares about you, not what you can do for them. Family’s there through the good, bad, all of it. They got your back even when it hurts. That’s family."
Hey. Don't have any regrets. Ok? You lived your life how you needed to. You didn't want to get hurt again. Understand why you cut him out and don't play the what if game. I'm sorry for your loss
elisag27
+
elisag27 I agree
+
+
I'll admit I have a good family. My dad earns alot of money,my mum also earns alot,my brother is a straight A* student and my other brother is straight A's. My parents are very traditional. They want me to have good grades. They constantly compare me to my brother. They always seem to want me to be smart. I got diagnosed with anxiety about a month ago. My parents refuse to accept the fact that I'm not okay. They constantly tell me how it's just a phase,or that I'm just being a teenager. But after watching this,I'm going to start appreciating them more. I am going to start remembering that they just want what's best for me. No matter how upset or angry they make me,they are my parents and I'm going to be a better daughter
2 YEARS LATER
2 years later and my life has completely changed. anxiety and emoness was a phase, i’m doing well in school and my dad now has brain cancer. fuck
Orlaisawkward {Dan and Phil Trash} You will sort it out, even ppl who seem perfect have issues, everyone does, so just make sure you all communicate and know how much you value each other.
Orlaisawkward {Dan and Phil Trash}
Hey, I know it sucks having your parents feel that way, and I'm sorry. I just wanted to say something someone once told me - it's likely they don't know how to accept it. Anxiety is impossible to understand unless you've experienced it, and as your parents... Maybe part of them denies it because accepting it makes them feel like they're failing you somehow. Of course they only want what's best for you, but that doesn't mean they should dismiss your mental health. It's just as important as your physical health, and far more important than good grades. Maybe try to find a way to help them understand what anxiety is and how it's affecting you so they can maybe help, and reassure them it's not their fault. Take care, x
Orlaisawkward {Dan and Phil Trash} YES you do that. Dont give in however much you feel they don't understand you.
Orlaisawkward {Dan and Phil Trash} don't let the diagnosis define you, i was diagnosed too (and took 4 different meds) but i learned to do whatever i was afraid to do and suck it up
Orlaisawkward {Dan and Phil Trash} don't be like "oh my anxiety oh i cant do this i have a mental illness" you have to suck it up my man
So sorry for your loss, please accept my condolences.
it sounds like your dad may have been bi-polar.don't blame yourself, hindsight is 20-20. treasure the good memories and try to get past the negative feelings you may have had. humans don't come with instructions, we just try to do the best we can.
I'd like to tell you it gets easier; it just gets one day further away.
Thank you
+Evan Edinger you make me cry
+Evan Edinger am so sorry
Thanks for putting this out there.
Cheryl Claussen same
watching this 3 years later and hearing that "don't be me" just made a tear flow down my face
K1 Tech same
I think I'm going to call my mum in the morning. Try and fix things
Please do it! xxx
Please do !!
Logan Day please do. she'd probably appreciate it. xx
Logan Day please do! All the best, hope you can sort any issues :)
Logan Day JUST DO IT
DON'T LET YOUR DREAMS BE DREAMS
Evan, please please please don't say "don't be me." when you said that at the end, i couldn't believe what i was hearing. you are so exceedingly, uniquely witty and intelligent and kind and such a big-hearted person. you are a huge inspiration and i am always so excited to watch your videos. "don't be me?" EVAN EDINGER, I truly can't think of a better person to be.
I'd kill to have a friend like you.
your reaction to your dad's death is completely understandable and normal. i know that sounds so clinical and empty-vacuum, but you cannot have expected yourself to feel positively towards someone who was so angry all the time because your dad FRIGHTENED you. he, for some reason, wanted to scare his kids, because he felt out of control of his own life, and as a kid you were an easy target. you can't have expected yourself to forgive that. please, let me repeat, YOU CAN'T HAVE EXPECTED YOURSELF TO FORGIVE A SCARY PERSON WHO USED FEAR TO CONTROL YOU. please don't try and force yourself to do that.
my relationship with my dad is kind of similar in a way? he molested me when I was little but we're quite close. I didn't realize how much it had actually affected me until I started having sex with my first boyfriend and was shaking uncontrollably and had a panic attack. when I was sexually assaulted my dad, as much as I really do love him, had the nerve to say "first and last time this happens to you." I had to hang up the phone and I have never been angrier in all my life. I questioned, do I love him? Can you love someone like that - are they even capable of it?
and then, sorry for the sidebar, but this part is important for you to know: i realized, I'M NOT THE ONE WHO SHOULD HAVE TO BE ASKING MYSELF THESE QUESTIONS. it's not on me. why should we, the kids, the sons and daughters, put ourselves through this undeserved emotional cycling and recycling and asking ourselves these questions?
unfortunately, they aren't answerable. it's harder to find peace without those easy answers, without the beautiful relieving denouement of "I'm sorry," "I'm sorry too." but if your dad WASN'T sorry, what then? there is really nothing you could have done to change that person...you mourn the person he COULD have been, the relationship you SHOULD have had. but that was not ever possible.
I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, but there are so many people who love you so so much and want to give you big giant hugs right now, I hope you have been getting tons and tons of them. those are the people you know love you and you love them, and as you say, TRUST. they are your family. the people who don't try to change, hurt, or gaslight you, or use you as a bargaining chip, or whatever. these are the people who are in with you for the long haul. we are there to hold your hand and make you remember how brave, an wonderful, and deserving you are.
love you, Evan.
Wait. Were you close at the time and now you're not. Are you close now and how did that come to be? I'm sorry for prodding but you're, "he molested me when I was little but we're quite close," confused me a bit to where you two stand now not know if the closeness was meant for the past or the present.
I think he meant do not block out for parents and who loves you and you think you don't love because you will regret it when it is too late.
if you have toxic parents who are not doing anything to make the relationship healthier there literally is nothing you can do to make the relationship work just on your own. i tried this for years with both of my parents and i just ended up almost killing myself. i'm so glad im better now, know my boundaries better now, have better respect for myself and realized that my parents dont deserve me in their life. the line "but they are you parents/family" is absolute bs. in the end toxic people are toxic people and sometimes they are your parents/family
I agree with his end message tbh
this was so nice I hope he looks at this
My family is also pretty messed up, I have no idea where my dad is, I haven't seen or heard from him in about 7 years since my granddads funeral, I also don't speak with my mum, she is an alcoholic and the last time I saw her she attacked me when she was drunk, I tried repeatedly with her to have a relationship but he just got drunk and it got destroyed, after the last time I decided that my life is so much more secure and I am happier not having that contact, things are no so black and white, even if you kept trying to have a relationship with your father it doesn't mean things would of been ok, you have those bad memories for a reason, but remember you still have those good memories and you still have people who love you all around you.
Lee Bowers i'm so sorry you had to go through that. hope you're doing better now xx
Lee Bowers I'm so sorry that happened to you. No one should have to go through life like that. I admire your honesty and I'm praying for you. Even if you don't believe theres a God, I'm still praying for you.
I feel like when my dad passes I'll be the same exact way. I know it will hurt because I never really had him in my life, or really felt like he loved me, but when he's gone I definitely will never get that. I understand. And I'm sorry
when you said don't be me please..i burst into tears. the fact that you're asking people to not be like you breaks my heart, evan you're such a fun guy. you're positive. i care about you, and i'm sorry you lost your dad. i'm sorry he was never there, i'm sorry you didn't get to see him change. you deserve to see him change. more than anyone. i love you, be strong
i couldn't have said it any better myself
+my name's blurryface me too
same
jennimoo I did the same thing
i really want to hug him
"Don't be me."
You're such a beautiful man, Evan, we as humans all make mistakes, so many people love you, I'm giving a massive virtual hug right now, I love you and be strong, because we all know how strong you can be xx
Nina's World I thought he said "don't be mean" (I can imagine some people lashing out at him for the decisions he discussed in this video). Now I'm not sure anymore which one he says... :s
ItsRoseForYou I'm pretty sure he said 'don't be me', to not make his mistakes and take the chance to make up with our parents when they're alive because the chance to do that could be taken from you every second
Why are you here and why are you commenting?
Paul Olsen That's... such a ridiculous waste of time.😕
Paul Olsen dude, that's fucking heartless
Seeing you cry was so heart breaking, Evan I know this was a while back ago. But I'm glad you talked about this :) I hope you're feeling better now
My parents are alive and physically close but they're like strangers to me. I often think how I'd feel when they die, and I remember: Their absence/death doesn't change who they were. Just cause they're gone doesn't mean they can be what I needed them to be and what they were never able to give me.
I'm sorry for you loss.
I can relate. I am very different from my parents and I know they don't really understand me or my decisions. They don't really understand why I am the way I am, how my brain works, why I react to things the way I do and my personality. I know that must be hard on them because of course you want your child to be like you. And I can only see that once I distance myself from our relationship and try to look at it objectively. My parents don't really show me physical affection, they don't tell me how proud they or of me enough or that they respect my decisions. But I know at the end of the day they do.. I know we have a lot more in common than we think we do and I know that despite they are not the parents I sometimes wish they were, I bet they feel the same way about me sometimes. Just try to find some common ground. I am moving out soon (almost 20) and decided to live with them up until now for financial reasons. I think our relationship will be better after I move out cause then I'll appreciate them more and we won't be together all the time so we'll get sick of each other. I think movingout might be good for the relationship between you and your paretns as well.. just don't rule them out and decide they aren't gonna be part of your life anymore.
Vicky after what I learned about my mom, I feel like I don’t know my mom at all. I’m uncomfortable around her and she doesn’t even talk to me the time I’m with her (my parents are divorced, I get every other weekend with her). She mostly watches murder mystery shows on her phone and sometimes at night she watches a documentary and goes to sleep. The times she does talk to me is when I’m about to go to sleep or if I’m hungry. Now I’m not uncomfortable with my dad at all, but he’s on his phone a lot and we don’t talk as much as we used to. Now that’s mostly on me because I don’t wanna do the things that he askes me to because I’m on my phone too, so that’s on me, but he’s on his phone so much that when I ask him to do something I want, he barely hears me and I have to repeat myself. It’s just awkward.
this video is probably one of the most important videos, i have ever seen on youtube
Have you watched its been a year daddy
Both my parents use to sexually abuse me when I was little. They would hit me when I wouldn't oblige. They stole my innocence and security, and left me with severe depression and anxiety that I deal with to this day as an adult. When they died I didn't feel happy, but I didn't feel sad either, in fact, I felt nothing. Just another day. Don't feel guilty, it will eat you up. You must forgive yourself. Your dad is in a better place and finally happy. You need to be happy too. You will get another chance to tell him you love him, and even hug him. It's going to be ok. Trust me.
Pamela Swan 💙
My dad died when I was 8 that was 6 years ago I miss him everyday
Genevieve Layfieldg im so sorry. 😥
Alan Prelac it's fine I have my friends and family who are there for me ❤️❤️❤️
Same happened to me :/
6 years ago, a few days before my 9th birthday
Nini050301 it happens 2 months after mine it was his birthday
Genevieve Layfieldg So sorry for u bro i have mine and thought if he died, what would I do
"Don't be me, please." Evan please don't say that. We are all here for you, stay strong
I am sorry to hear this Evan. I have been watching you for 2 years and feel for you. I hope you feel better. You should take a UA-cam break and have a little time to yourself
I agree Evan take break if you need to. However your very smart, and working this all out already. Everyone on this planet has a story, lifes one big learning school and practice round, the real you is soul, and that's pure energy and goes on and on. Tip: listen to all the philosopher Alan Watts you can, and 2 youtube channels, "Journey of Purpose" and one called "Tradegy and Hope" super inspirational and helpful with what your goin' thru, my dad has terminal brain cancer but I know in the long run its going to be ok, we have eternity together ,the tough things being a part for a few yrs, but eternity wise? that's blink of an eye.
YourDoctorFallen yeah
"dont be me...please" i want to hug you
Dil Howlter he said "don't be me"
+small_and_dangerous that's even worse...
Dil Howlter he said dont be me
DIL UGH IM DYING
and also he did say dont be me please.
So, my dad is an alcoholic, or he was, or still is, its hard to keep track of when he's trying to actually fix that part of his life but still. He and my mother had their first child, my sister, when my mom had just barely turned 18, within a few months, she was pregnant again with my other sister, and a few months after my sister was born, she was pregnant with me. My Father wasn't a good dad, i'm constantly told of his screaming, the abuse, the drugs, everything bad, hell he wasn't even there when i was born because he was so drugged out he couldn't make it. Yet, 19 years is a lot of time, he still drinks, he has a new wife, a new house, a home that i was a part of, my dad isn't the same belligerent drunk he once was, and I have some genuinely amazing memories with him, a few summers ago we went camping with some of his friends, i was in my tent unable to sleep and he started talking about how proud he was of me, how he was proud that i hadn't dropped out of school, that i'd never drank or done drugs, that i tried hard to help everyone around me, now, these are things i'd heard before from my mom, but, this time it felt different, it wasn't him saying it to me to try to encourage me or gloat about how good he'd done raising me, I even heard him say he wouldn't want me to hear him say that because while he was proud, he felt he didn't have a right to be proud because he hadn't been there. I listened to my dad talk about how depressing it was knowing his children didn't want to be a part of his life, and how amazing it had felt when I kept trying. He never once said anything bad about my mom, despite the fact that for most of my life all she had done was talk about how terrible he was. I think the memory that will stay with me the most, will be when he looked me in the eye's and told me to never, ever be like him. I love my father, he has honestly done his best to improve himself and be the best person he can, so as much as he is proud of me, i will always be more proud of him
Ethan Stark Damn...I just shed a manly tear for you bro. Hit me right in the feels.
One thing: your dad sounds like a good man, deep down. So don't listen to him when he says to not be like him. Learn from and emulate the good parts of your dad and leave out the bad stuff.
your dad is definitely a good man :) I’m tearing up right now
@@bridgittahilldiary3027 shut up who cares
im sorry. i know the feeling, it's weird. my grandma only a few months ago left out of the blue and told my family she didn't want to speak with us anymore. she's been abusive and weird for all of our life and we've always put her in the bad box as you would say. but when the news was brought to me i was so surprised at how much i cried at an evil person and how much i didn't want to be with her when she was around. it's weird, it's really fucking weird. and i wish i could've talked to her one last time because now suddenly just like you...she's no longer all that evil. i'll always remember my good times with her. and i don't know if this makes sense or if anyone cares but i feel you and i know it's rough. it's really rough but you can get through it, i promise.
My comment may be a little different to those that say "don't regret the way you acted". Im not going to say you did everything right: Instead, I'm saying everyone makes mistakes. The very last sentence of your video shows that you realized that you may not have acted right, that you regret it and that you wish that others don't make the same mistake. You deserve so much respect for that.
I also want to tell you, you don't have to live in that regret. The past has happened and you can't change that. But you can let this experience change the way you see your relationships with people, and how you act towards people that are close to you. I hope that you grow, become a wiser person and also forgive yourself.
You're awesome, Evan.
This is the most sincere video on youtube. I understand this far too well. :-(
this is definitely the only "crying on camera" video ive seen that is, quite clearly, not for clickbait/views. hes so sincere and has an actual message at the end- i love this video.
I'm so sorry for your loss and the tangle of pain that surrounds it. It's really kind of you to share this with others to try to help them avoid this hurt, when it's clearly difficult for you to express these feelings.
This is super late but I remember watching this when you uploaded it and I related to it a lot. The similarities between your relationship with your dad and mine as well, especially the Facebook thing, are crazy. I watched this video and it inspired me to let him into my life bit by bit. My dad died this morning and I genuinely think that If not for 19 year old me watching this video and you sharing this vulnerable moment I would be able to feel like I do now. I visited my dad for the first time in almost 7 years earlier this year (he lives in Mexico and I live in the US) and I don’t think that would’ve happened if not for the decision this video helped me make to think of my dad and remember him as a whole person rather than just the bad parts. Thank you evan, I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to thank you enough for this video.
I'm not even bluffing when I say this is the fastest I've ever clicked a video once it's popped up in my notifications. I am so so sorry Evan and I know there's nothing I can say to really help. I love you Evan, and I'm sure he did too.
wutsername_ same
this may be a bad time but your profile pic made me smile after this video
^same
wutsername_ literally did the same.
I'm so sorry Evan, I know it's hard, I can relate. When my dad and mum broke up I was mostly happy, but every time I had been at my dad's house, me and my sister cried and told mum all the things he had done. Since I stopped seeing him, I too have put him in that box even though we have had some really good and happy memories too. Even though all this misery, he is my dad, and always will be. This makes it really hard for me to be mad at him, especially as he always found a way to blame us for all the bad things he'd done. Though I can't expect you to, I really hope you'll make peace with this without blaming yourself in any way. Just know, you're never alone. We love you Evan, and sooo many people do. It really hurts to see you this sad, but it's good to get out your emotions, and just talk about it. Hope you feel better soon, love from Sweden/England:))❤️❤️❤️
Dude this broke me, completely :( My dad has been battling cancer and we recently found out he has months left, not years like we initially thought. I'm terrified of how I'm gonna get by without him, but lately his treatment has been making him irritable, he snaps at me and my family, he gets angry easily and isn't pleasant to be around, so I've been avoiding him. I feel so sorry for what you must be going through right now, but I also wanna say thankyou for this video. It has helped me realise that if I keep avoiding him, I'll regret it so much when he's gone. I can't stress enough how much I needed to see this video. Thanks Evan, and I know you probably won't even see this among the seven and a half thousand comments you have, but if you do, just know that you have hundreds of thousands of people who love you and care about you. Not just friends, but strangers from across the world, people you've never met are thinking about you and want to be there for you. That's an amazing thing, stay strong buddy. We're all here if you need us.
my mom is a cancer survivor, i hope your dad lives the life that he has left happy and in no pain. sorry to hear that he's suffering.
Ethan Hal Thanks a lot. It's nice to see that there are people online who would say nice things to a stranger, as opposed to the trolls who you see quite often. Tbh I kinda wanna share the whole experience that we've been going through in a video, to hope that it might be able to help someone else, but I don't know that I could talk about it without breaking down, and I also don't know how my family would feel about sharing something so personal in a public space online
I lost my dad to cancer when I was very young. I'm wishing you all the best. Stay strong.
Thanks. We are all trying to stay strong and positive but it's hard sometimes. As you'll understand.
+Jack's World stay strong kid
“An eight year old girl had a panic attack
'Cause the father she loved left and never looked back
No longer the hero, she counted on
He told her he loved her and then he was gone
She tried to look happy in front of her friends
But knew that she'd never feel normal again
She fought back the tears as they filled her eyes
And wanted him back just to tell him goodbye
When the rain falls down
When it all turns around
When the light goes out, this isn't the end
Her dad was a good guy that everyone liked
But nobody knew he was dying inside
He promised his family he'd be all right
And then with a gunshot he left them behind
When the rain falls down
When it all turns around
When the light goes out, this isn't the end
When the rain falls down
When it all turns around
When the light goes out, this isn't the end, no
The role of a father, he never deserved
He abandoned his daughter and never returned
And over the years though the pain was real
She finally forgave him, and started to heal
How close to the ending? Well, nobody knows
The future's a mystery and anything goes
Love is confusing and life is hard
You fight to survive 'cause you made it this far
It's all too astounding to comprehend
It's just the beginning, this isn't the end
It's just the beginning, this isn't the end”
- Adam Young (This isn’t the End)
Dont push away the good memories and don’t stay mad at them. “The world isn’t black and white,” Evan said at the beginning of the video and he is absolutely right. His father reached out to him, and without Evan knowing, his father could have changed and been a better person. His father make multiple accounts to befriend his son but Evan blocked him. His father put out the effort and once he was gone, he was gone.
I think a lot of people dismiss death because they don’t realize how permanent it is. Once they are gone, they are gone and there is no way of getting them back... ever. It’s so horrible but it’s the way life works. Please, at least have them in contact of some sorts. This way you have a sort of reassurance. I hope the best for everyone and Evan
that's why human create legend buddha religious,think like immortial because they want to make them feel special.they don't just want to accept that we're just a grant of sand in the universe and the horrifying truth of the death (sorry for my bad english).
Rockinashy I love that song
Rockinashy I stayed on the reply typing board thing for so long, because I cried about my grandfather who died, and that the man in the song killed himself
I agree on some level but people push others away for protection.
For example you are in a relationship and someone hurts you. You will not forgive them immediately. evan's father inflicted so much pain on his family Evan could not forgive him and didn't want to experience the pain again. He did the best for his health which is the most important thing.
Unfortunately, people do not change. I have a very similar experience as Evan. I believe he did the right thing.
So much of this rings true for me. I've cut my dad out of my life and very much have the same attitude that you did - if he died tomorrow I wouldn't care. I was also thrilled when my parents got divorced for my mother's sake. I also have the philosophy that my dad taught me how not to be - belittling my mum, being a compulsive liar, blaming others for his problems. I know its easy for me to say, particularly as my dad is still alive but the fault is with him and not you. You're a good person and you wouldn't have cut him out to be spiteful, you did it because you had to.
So weird - I posted this comment a week ago and now I have found out his alcoholism has killed him. I can't put into word how I feel but I feel his death this way was inevitable, I wish I could have helped him but by the time I was old enough to confront him he was too far gone. He wasn't a nice man but I feel far from satisfied. My advice would be more like Evan and less like my dad.
Ooh, Evan, I'm so sorry :( I send you many hugs and love ❤
THE ENDING BROKE MY HEART, I WANT TO HUG HIM AND TELL HIM EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY 😭😭😭
Sab me too
I am so extremely sorry. I am sure you will get fed up with hearing it pretty soon but I will be thinking of you and your family in this tough time
My friend has always been a very private person. She has never shown how she really felt to me before. In July her dad died, she used dark humour until one day she invited me round her house, she poured her heart out to me. She told me her life story in terms of him, she told me everything and cried to me and for the first time ever she opened up to me. She had a tough childhood but she loved him and it was never truly shown until he passed away.
I think death shows our true feelings towards people. I think until someone dies we only think of the box we put them in, but in reality there are so many sides we block out.
You are a very strong person for sharing this and helping others, love your channel!
Bless your heart! I grew up with my dad living with us but he and I were never really close. My dad and I had just started get close and then on October 26, 2013 he passed away. I had talked to him the night before and then the next day he was gone.
You did what you had to do to keep your sanity. Some people are toxic and even though you have good memories with your dad, it was probably best that kept your distance. Hold on to those good memories. Hang in there, it does get better with time.
someone please tell me i'm not the only one crying
You're not..
filmingfangirl Everyone looses family. Get over it.
filmingfangirl you're definitely not, I can barely breathe
filmingfangirl I'm crying too
filmingfangirl me too. you're not the only one.
I started crying, because my father was the same and I used to tell my mother the same thing. I'm sorry that you had to go trough it, I know it must feel horrible
Devil's Advocate same
Devil's Advocate me too.
That's quite a sad and touching story Evan...I hope you are doing OK right now.....I know myself that family relationships can be very hard and complicated at times and not everyone can live a 'perfect' life or always do the right thing.
I'm glad you shared your story and I hope you will find peace in the happy memories you shared with your Dad...i'm guessing he would want that.
I'm really sorry for your loss. This video made me cry because I could really relate to this. I've put my Dad in a box where I don't even care and I'd rather not see him and I suppose I will feel exactly the way you feel if anything happened to him. I think what I can take from this video is even though I don't like or agree with my Dad that much I should still care and keep in contact with him.
Thank you for making this video. It has actually helped me a lot.
Evan I want to hug you so bad. Here's an internet hug *bone crushing hug* I love you and you take your time
The ending. I'm crying
Okay it seems we're both having a bad time because my girlfriend broke up with me. That's great
My mother died last Monday. My prayers go to you and your family. ❤️
all the love to you, sorry to hear. stay strong.
Hugs from Minnesota
Alleyiaah I'm so sorry for your loss, sending you lots of positivity ! Much love ❤️
Alleyiaah S hope your ok
Emily Benner thank you so much, love
I just clicked on this and oh man...I'm really sorry that you lost your dad. From experience, I can definitely attest to the fact that no one's relationship to their parents is perfect. Mine isn't. I know that if I lost my parents (which will one day happen, I can't deny that), I would feel the same. Don't feel bad about having cut out your dad like that...You're not an evil person for having done what you did.. *lots of hugs*
I have dad Issues too and at the end I am literally balling my eyes out. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I believe this video has taught me to appreciate the moments I have with him even if he seems bipolar at time I love him with all my heart. You have taught me to just deal with the bad and enjoy the good. He talks about my mom sometimes and she talks about him but they still have this bond where they will talk and enjoy themselves and at times I feel like the bond and others I feel like something prying them apart. Thank you again and I love you💗💗
All love to you. Hope you begin to heal soon
oneboredjeu Mashup +
Rest in Peace to your dad Evan! I lost my dad when I was 1.5 yo and it still makes me cry 16 years later.I know people who yell and are rude to their parents. Even one of my friends wished that her dad was dead. All I want to do is scream and tell them to stop acting like this because when their parents die they will be unable to undo their actions.
Technopelogy I have a friend like that too
Technopelogy I'm sorry I understand your point, but please keep in mind that those people could be going through things you can not imagine. No one in on my life, not even my own mother, understood why I acted so angry and hateful towards my father. Only years down the line have all of them realised how terrible he was, because it was easier for me to say I wanted him to die than to trust people with knowing what I was truly going through and say it. Our society often assumes when a kid talks trash about their parents and isolates them they're the problem, that's assuming their parents are as good as yours. This thinking is why I know so many children get abused abused and struggle because no one respected their right to distance.
Technopelogy I lost my dad when I was two. I completely understand this. I hate it when my friends bash there dads or say they don't like them. The worst thing for me is when people use there parents death as an excuse to make people feel bad. But then again that could be there method of copping.
Emilie-Rose Schmiele so true
Emilie-Rose Schmiele I agree with you and I am sorry that you had/have to go through this. But I am talking about the people who complain that their parents won't buy them expensive things that they might not be able to afford.
I try to watch this video once a year. It always centers me and re-opens my mind. I'm very thankful you've made this video although it is really sad and unfortunate.
You are so wise Evan, I admire you for pulling through and being so positive and inspiring even though all of these things weight heavy in your backpack.
I live with both my parents and I couldn't imagine what a life like this could like. You are very strong, you know that.
This video taught me something, thank you for sharing.
My father died in March, after a cancer battle.
My dad was a raging alcoholic who drunk his time away, and I hated him for it. I spent 10 years of my life hating him and only when he got sober, did I start seeing him for who he was.
His alcohol use made him have a stroke and collapse right in front of me and it also eventually caused his cancer. I would do anything to go back and not hate him because out of 14 years, I only felt like I knew him for 4. I do miss him and these few months have been hard.
He died 3 years sober. I was so proud of him
I'm really happy he was able to get over the alcohol. I'm very sorry for your loss though, and it seems like you are pushing through. Well done to you and your father.
Wow. So sorry bro. So sorry for your loss. This video is intense. Hang tuff.
+Dave Stauffer thanks x
#anythingforviews
Jason Wayne Fuck you
Jason Wayne You're not fucking funny. Evan's dad _actually_ fucking died, just stfu and leave him alone, he's going through enough.
using his dads death to try and increase the amount of views he gets is pathetic
Aw I'm so so sorry Evan!! Thank you for sharing your story with us. Sending you lots of hugs...hope you have lots of IRL friends who are always there for you!! 🤗💓
Sorry for your loss Evan. Stay strong and positive. Keep the memories close and you'll make it through. This was a brave video to make and we're all here to help and support you :)
Hey Evan, it's okay. I understand why you cut him out of your life because he was so inconsistent and angry and he rarely ever showed you any love, and it's okay to have not wanted to see him because you just didn't want to be hurt or scared anymore, so don't regret it okay? You lived your life and made something of yourself, but it's also okay to be sad and hurt and to feel a little guilty. We all love you so so so much, and I am so sorry for your loss. We're all here for you, and you are surrounded by bundles of love. We love you
I'm really mixed on my father right now. I have so many great memories with him, and my parents are still married. However personal things happened in 2012 and they were separated for a few months. My dad still acts quite hostile towards me and we usually argue whenever we're together, and I usually say I hate him, but, in reality I don't. He is my father, and even though he does hurt me sometimes, I know he loves me, and I love him, but I am scared of him. If he ever died I don't know what I'd feel to be honest, I'd probably have the same reaction as you, but I do live with him because I am not capable of moving out my house yet.. So idk..
Keep strong Evan and please don't say "don't be me" because you've done nothing wrong. You clearly still love your dad, even if you didn't realize it until now, and he loved you BUT there was still nothing wrong with cutting him out of your life as you grew up. Just as you said in this video, it was your way of protecting yourself. It's healthy to grieve but guilt won't help you through this time and there's no reason to feel guilty.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing with us. That was really brave. I pray for comfort for you.
I'm very sorry for your loss and the difficult time you're having. I hope things get better for you soon and you're able to find some closure and peace.
I'm so so sorry. Nobody deserves to lose family even if we don't like them all the time ❤️❤️
My family is exactly how yours was right now. I don't really want to see my dad and I've always tried to avoid him. I wish it wasn't like that but I do have good memories with him. The bad memories outweigh the good.
Isabelle Walker same for me the bad memories are always outweighing the good memories between me and my father
Isabelle Walker Me too... My dad isn't a nasty person but if there's an opportunity for him to say something bad about my mum to me, he will take it. He's also really demanding and will pester me until I listen... I'm really starting to want to not see my dad as often but I would feel terrible if I was in Evans position right now... it's just a difficult thing 😐
Isabelle Walker same here but with my mom, even though we have an okay-ish relationship now, it is so so weird to think of her as someone I'm related to because for all of my childhood and teen years I despised that woman for how she behaved and how she treated me. every time I see a mother-daughter-relationship in movies or something I get extremely uncomfortable because only the thought of this love and trust is the most unfamiliar and unthinkable thing.
Isabelle Walker so is mine, nice to know im not alone xx
This broke my heart to see you this way but words won't fix it, stay positive my lil punshine
Karina Kinsey
Aww 'my lil punshine'
Karina Kinsey awwweeee
awwww this made me smile after crying, thank you for making me smile :)
and I hope this makes Evan smile too 'cause I think what's happening to him is very hard to cope with
wow. I am still getting over my grandpa's death and that was over 5 years ago. I remember watching your annoying, awesome videos when you had just a thousand views and you have really come a long way. This gives me hope. Thanks Ed.
This video made me really emotional and I think it's because I felt all of the things you were talking about recently because my dad died around the same time and haven't been ready to watch this video until now for fear of hearing about someones amazing relationship with their father that I never got to have. Now having watched the video I feel the opposite because I relate to every word you've said and felt all those things and am still trying to cope with it while still getting through my everyday stresses like my freshman year or college. Thank you for making this video, I wish I had seen it sooner considering it was posted just prior to my own dads death and if I had seen it then, I think it would have made a difference in the way I initially reacted to his passing. Wishing you all the best.
Biiiiig hug :(
seeing you cry breaks my heart
Sophie W I thought the exact same thing xx
Sophie W Same
Im so srry Evan...my heart skipped a beat when I read the title of this video.
"and i cut him out" ...I'm crying, Evan with time you'll heal.
You're a really strong person, Evan, I really respect you for that, you are such a nice friendly person who doesn't
deserve anything like this I hope it gets better x.
This whole video I just wanted to come through the screen and hug you!
I feel like I just want to give him a massive hug
My mum left my dad when she was pregnant for me. He was a cheater. He would cheat on her, arrange to meet other women whilst my mum was sitting next to him, six months pregnant with me. He even convinced my mum to name me after a woman he was seeing during the time (thankfully after hey broke up she decided to name me Emma instead of the name he wanted).
Once time, my mum caught him messaging a woman whilst she was at his house (2 hours by train away from hers, she was unfamiliar with the area) she took his laptop and read the messages and he shoved her, a six mknth pregnant woman, into the wall, bruised her side. She ran barefoot through his town that night before returning Go his house at an ungodly hour to get shoes and leave.
I was born and my father knew. My mother told him. He wanted nothing to do with my mum, therefore wanted nothing to do with me.
When I was 3, he moved to Canada. I haven't seen him since.
Still to this day, I sometimes see his picture on my aunt's social media or my mum brings him up, I get teary eyed. I don't have a family, apart from my mum and siblings, because of him. He decided he didn't want me in his life, so I could never meet my nan, my grandfather, even my aunties. I don't even know what they sound or look like.
It hurts to know without my mum and siblings, j wouldn't have a family.
Emma Styles I know you don't know me but your dad doesn't sound like a nice person at all and your probably better off without him including your mum. My parents were married for over 40 years. My dad died 8 years ago and my mum 2 years ago. My brother lives in Spain and even though I have extended family in the area 90% of time it's just me and my 7 year old son. I understand your position very well. it does get lonely and I only have my son for company and the only adult interaction I have is when I am at work for 5 hours a day which I look forward to. Anyway, keep your head up. Things do get better and it would be worse if your dad was at home when he clearly doesn't want to be a dad.
All the best
Debbie is right, your dad doesn't sound like a good person and you're probably better off without him. If he had stayed when he didn't want/wasn't ready to have a kid, there's a good chance things may have turned out worse.
Just remember that like, everything he did were all *his* problems and it's not your fault at all. It doesn't have anything to do with /you/ personally, it was his own issues.
It's good that you have your mom and siblings and at the end of the day family is who you're close to, who's been there for you and have *earned* that title, blood relative or not.
It's good that he's gone. He's not a good influence, and I hope that he has stopped, because it's not right. I'm happy you didn't get named what he wanted, and it seems like you have moved on pretty well. You seem like you would be a very strong person, but I don't know you, so I can't say for sure. I hope you have a happy life with your mum and any other family!
Best Regards❤❤
michael pichardo yeah but she wasn't looking over his shoulder.
Aw Evan, I'm so sorry, I hope you start feeling at least a little better soon
RIP
i'm new to your channel and just watching this, but i lost my mom a little while ago and i get it. it's so hard when you associate the bad memories with them. i did something similar. but carrying on and using this to be stronger will make you so much better. trust me
Man, that's so rough. I hope you manage to get through this, try not to beat yourself up too hard. You can't blame yourself for not wanting that negativity in your life.
Since we're all sharing. 6 months ago my brother's fiancee died leaving him with, at that point, a year and a week old girl to take care of.
She had cancer - she'd been dealing with it for over a year, but with an expiration date, I felt I couldn't make myself a bigger part of their lives like I'd hoped when they'd moved closer. I can't force them how to spend their limited time. So instead I'd hear about the situation indirectly; How she'd break down and cry, but move on within an hour, almost like she'd made it part of her scheduled catharsis. My brother telling me how proud he was with how she dealt with it and kept fighting. And how furious he was when the fighting didn't mean anything in the end.
They'd been abroad trying find alternative treatment. I remember my dad calling me telling me the news since my brother who had been with her didn't have the energy, and all I could think was "I hope you feel better soon" to my dad who was crying while I wasn't.
Later our families had gotten together and I was told about how our in-laws found my tired brother at the airport, pushing an empty wheelchair and luggage for two. An image that brings me to tears.
The pattern here being these are things I heard; I never felt like I was ever properly there for them. Now I'm helping my brother out with his kid as much as I can, and it doesn't feel nearly enough. And he tells me he's genuinely grateful that I've been helping him out, but it hurts because it just reminds of how I don't think I know what a good person is anymore. Because when my brother has to raise a child, alone, 7 days a week, what I do just doesn't feel good enough.
And now he's heard I'm looking to get a new phone and is trying to give me his fiancee's old phone... which is killing me. Three time's now he's tried to hand it over before asking if I could wait another day so he could make sure everything's backed up. I'm going to have to reinforce my pockets because that phone is going to be heavy.
I can imagine this must have been a confusing time for you, especially if it plays out over a long period of time. Have you tried to talk about this with your brother?
My dad was an alcoholic and a liar. He stole £52, 000 from MY future savings (I'm 14) and God knows how much from my mum and two sisters (aged 9 an 10). Every single day for as long as I could remember he would be screaming at me, my sisters (even when they were just babies/toddlers) for the simplest of things like accidently spilling a drink. I even remember one time, when I was about 8 or 9, he had his hand behind my neck and he was violently hitting my head against the bathroom floor because I refused to count to 10 (I had an argument with my sister, got angry and my dad said to count to ten to calm down). Every night I would remember trying to sleep at the sound of my parents arguing until morning. Apart from on Friday nights. On Friday nights my mum would be working late and coming home at 3:00am to have a couple of hours sleep before waking up to take me and my sisters to school. Every one of these friday nights my dad would be drinking 5 litre bottles of strongbow beer and playing some stupid army computer game when he should have been taking care of his three children, two of which were still babies at one point. One Saturday morning when I was 7 I remember waking up to find my dather not in the house and there were large blood stains at the boottom of the stairs. I found out that he was in the hospital because he had fallen down the stairs. I also found out that he drank so much that night, he was 3 times over the limit the law say a man should drink in a week. 3 times over the limit when he was babysitting his 3 children, the eldest being 7 and the youngest being only 2.
My parents got divorced about 2-3 years ago when I was 11 and I missed him. Even though my dad was who he was, I loved him. Anytime he did something bad I would simply brush it off. That was until I got to the age of 12. That was when I began to look back on my memories and think "hang a minute, should a father really be doing that to his kid? Is this what a father does?" I also found some things in my mum's room and basically I found out that 90% of what my father said to me was a lie. I began to question whether he loved me. Whether he ever loved me. He sure didn't seem to love my mum and he MARRIED her. I began to love him less and less. Eventually, all love for him had been replaced with hatred and anger when he tried to kidnap me on my way home from school when I was 12.
In April last year my dad was supposed to go to jail. However, just 5 days before he could, he commited suicide.
To this day I don't exactly know why. Many believe it was to put my family in more debt than ever before as it turned out he was living in our old house for 2 years without paying a penny towards morgage or energy bills or anything. My mum is still paying for them.
When he died, I felt no sorrow. I felt no sadness. I actually felt relief...
And then I felt immense guilt because I felt relieved.
But I still felt relieved.
Because I didn't have to live in fear that maybe he would try to kidnap me again, or worse, kidnap my sisters. I felt relieved because I knew it meant he couldn't steal from me or my family anymore. I was basically glad I didn't have to deal with him anymore.
I was wrong to think that. It has been almost two years yet me and my family are still struggling to deal with the consequences of his death. Everyone on my father's side of the family (e.g his parents, his siblings etc) have turned on us. It appears my dad fed them lies about how my mum "took his own children away from him" when in reality she saved us from him. Me and my sisters are still having to work extra hard to get a good future because of what our dad has done. I myself have been left with several mental issues that I'd rather not go into detail with...
Whenever I think of my dad now, the first word that comes to mind is "monster."
But after seeing this video, I felt something.
I don't know if it was grief, regret or just weirdness...
..but I felt
something.
Whatever it was, thank you.
Apoligies for the long read and sorry to burden you with my messed up life story. Now we can be messed up together(?) I just wanted to say that your video hit me hard. I mean, I have had every single one of my friends and famly members talk to me about my dad's death. I have even had counselling from professionals yet it was only when I watched this very video that I actually felt something.
Georgina Mai that is absolutely horrible, I'm so sorry you had to go through this... I can't really say anything that would help you but I just want you to know that you're really strong for going through all of that and that I hope things will get better in the future :)
I hope so too. Thank you, I really appreciate it.
I'm so sorry to hear about this, Evan. Like others have said, you're brave and courageous doing this and I think there's a lot of kids out there right now who are going through the same thing and using you as a role model. I'm sure he would be proud of what you have made of yourself.
This video was so relatable, even down to moving to another country. Some of your stories are so insanely similar to my experiences it was hard to hear. Thank you for your honesty. 💛 You inspired me to try harder and forgive more.
I just want to reach through the screen and give you the biggest hug ever.
iDoAirGuitar same
iDoAirGuitar same
iDoAirGuitar same
same
same, i got really sad when he started crying
Gosh, I am so sorry. I feel the same way about my father and this opened my eyes
MY father passed away yesterday, I'm devastated. I'm sending hugs to you.
I had the same Situation
My dad just died and I looked up my dad died on UA-cam and I needed this it's a different story but some points where so relatable
You've inspired me to reach out to my dad, who I've more recently cut off. Thank you.
Well this made me cry.
And has made me realise a lot.
you are so strong Evan, these times are awful & weird but you expressed true emotion which is inspiring so that others just don't just keep things in etc. *hugs*
Thank you for uploading this it really does help me to hear others experiences. My story is a bit similar to yours although my dad is less angry he's more absent, both in presence and in mind. Even when he lived in the same house I never saw him much, we haven't had a real relationship in years. It's mostly just been superficial between us. Now he's moved out and is trying to have a relationship with me but seeing and hearing from him makes me annoyed because after so long of nothing it feels weird and fake now that he's trying. I know he's struggling and I want to help him but at the same time seeing him makes me feel so uncomfortable I find myself trying to avoid him. I don't necessarily want to loose my relationship with my dad altogether but I find myself struggling with how to handle the change in his behaviour recently. I know if I don't maintain our relationship now I will regret it later but it's difficult. Hearing your story makes me want to keep trying to repair our relationship instead of pushing my dad away further. Thank you for sharing your story I know it's difficult but I really appreciate it. ❤️❤️
This video is very eye opening to me, thank you for making it.
duckcluck123 I agree and it's also made me cry a huge amount
duckcluck123 me too. It makes me think of my dad, and how I don't talk to him anymore. How I can't bring myself to, it's weird.
I'm so sorry Evan. Best wishes :(( x
Your so strong, he would be so proud of you
this video is incredible. thank you for sharing your story. I've only just seen this, but i hope you were able to get through everything okay. 💙
I'm proud of how you've been through this. This was a really brave conversation with yourself. I got the message you wanted to transmit. Thanks for sharing your story. Lots of love ❤
I'm 14 now and my dad hasn't spoken to me in over a year and when I think of that I feel nothing because that's just who dad is now. When him and my mum split I wasn't sure why because we were always so happy but they split on good terms knowing that if they waited any longer hey would hate each other. And that was fine for like a year until he met someone else. Her name is Cristy and she changed him completely. Made him extremely strict and so that he got so mad so much. When we had yo leave the house that we had lived in our whole life to go and buy a house with her, someone who at the time I didn't know very well, I was devastated. I had lived in that house for my whole life and now I had to leave to a farmhouse half an hour away from school and the place I called home. That's when we started to realise that changes, tiny meals that left us hungry, no to, I was their slave. I cleaned the house all day while they were in the devious caring for animals which I died to do. I was crying while cleaning the bathroom once because my dad had just been yelling at me for some reason or another and he yells at me 'shut up and stop that crying, your not Cinderella' and left. He yelled at me all the time for getting things wrong. Then I got kicked out for the first time. She told me not to come back to her house because apparently I dint ever say good ironing to her which I didn't know was compulsory because why should, it be? Apparently I was the one tearing her family apart. So I left and I dint return for a few months and then I did on the condition that I Siam goodbye and hello to her everyday and that u would be on my best behaviour. The thing is, I still can't remember how I had been on my bad behaviour other than defending myself when he would yell at me. Then one day a couple of months after I didn't say goodbye to her and the way out the house accidentally. We got to the bottom of the driveway and dad got a call. It was from her, I was not allowed back into her house. He just said okay, showed no emotion, no nothing. Just told me this and dropped me off at school as though nothing had happened. Later on he dropped all of my things at my mums, this was final. My younger brother still went there but he hates going. It's been a couple years since I stopped going there and just over a year since he last spoke to me which was the day before my birthday last year. I saw him at my grandmothers birthday earlier on this year but he pretended that I dint even exist, not even a hi. I always think I'll get sad when I tell this story but when I do I'm not. I just don't care anymore. She hated me since day one and now he's married her, an event in which occurred after I had been kicked out, and they want kids. But that's just dad, I dont know what I'd feel if he died but it's clear he has no intention of getting back on good terms. Sorry this got long.
Hey:) It wasnt to long :) Im so sorry about that! ik how u feel! Just because he is your father does not make him your dad.Xxx. At least you have good taste in youtubers. :)
It's only me best of luck to you :)
It's only me xxxxx
I relate to this somewhat. (I'm 16) I was very close to my dad, and we had a fantastic relationship. He had broken up with my mum (well, cheated on her...) when I was 1, so I don't miss him being with my mum or anything. But we were super close. I could be myself with him. Unfortunately when I was 9 a load of bad things happened, and one of them was him breaking up with his girlfriend at the time (again, cheated on her...) and got a new one called Amy. Like you with Cristy, she changed him totally. Luckily for me, he never became strict. But I was scared to be myself around him, because of the comments Amy would make. She would have a go at me when I did virtually anything, and I felt frozen. My dad tried to be himself behind her back, but it didn't work that well and I could no longer be myself with my dad. It's been 7 years since and our relationship has gotten better and worse. Amy's been a bit better, but not really. It's funny you mention this as well, as my dad hadn't texted me in 3 months, but he texted me today! (He did the usual and made loads of excuses lmao)
Your story is so much worse than mine though, and I can't begin to think about how much you must struggle. Hope things get better soon sweet
I'm the same as you, I don't know what it is like for a father to die, but I dealt with my own blood abusive father and then my stepdad who also later turned into an abusive relationship. I now have no idea where my real father is and I don't know what has happened to him. My sisters dad is different I have to hide what he did, my family apart from my mother know what he did to me.
It's kinda scary how similar my Dad is to yours. Two days ago I was literally in his van on my phone waiting for him to finish his job. Most of the time he just isn't there for me. Work took over his life...
Wick Fick don't assume that. you know nothing about their lives. please, if they say their dad is a workaholic, just take their word for it.
most dads today are from the same generation in witch most people from the last generation are the same and now they are changin
Satoumu Mc I rather have a workaholic dad than an alcoholic dad.
You still have time to change that... x Try talking to him maybe?
My dad is like that too. He works all day, and then pretends to know what we did all day, and expects the house to be spotless.
Wow, Evan. I just watched this. Man, I'd give you a hug if I could. So much of what you describe sounds familiar to my own relationship with my dad, who passed away in 2007, so I can empathize on some level with how you feel. I hope making this video and talking through your emotions helped you. Thank you for sharing this with us. Much love.
I'm so sorry that this happened to you Evan. I understand what you're going through. I don't have the best relationship with my dad either. I will take what you said and I will not cut him off even though I'm 18 now. You will carry on
I saw the title and instantly started crying. I'm so sorry Evan. I hope you're doing okay xx ❤️
Amazing profile pic
I want to die TM I started crying at the title too. 😞
I know that it is not quite as drastic but my cat died two days ago
I'm so sorry!
Omg i'm sorry!
just because a relationship with a pet may seem 'lesser' than one with a family member, it doesn't make your feelings any less valid. i have 4 cats who i love to pieces and have lost cats in the past, im sorry if you're grieving xx
I had to put my cat down in May, it was awful. Sorry for your loss.
I love cats ❤️ rip😢
Thank you so much for sharing this. It's crazy in how many ways I can relate to this (even the moving to England and having a truck driving dad part).
This video opened my eyes
I am so sorry Evan.. sending you a hug and strength ! x