My GRANDAUGHTER was drowned by her father and many other very tragic SHIT has happened therapy is not working my temper I explosive if I even have a split second thought if any of my grandchildren are in any sort of danger IM PISSED its very hard for me not to duck someone up IM always watching out for them
I feel defeated at times, because of the past trauma and compliance trauma. I was married to a narcissistic man from 18 to 31 years old. I had no choice back then to mask my hurt he caused at levels nobody should be ok with. Verbal abuse hurts bad. I grew up with Parents who suffered in silence over a family event that changed I'm sure all of our futures and changed each one of us in ways that might have been about to be helped but my parents weren't informed of any resources in the late 70s. I feel I passed down my ptsd to my daughter when pregnant. Today she is stifled with a medical injury that changes myself, my ex husband and the person my daughter who lives with a medical mistake without aid. We know there is resources to help.. Right now she's had to many sad days, she is very depressed. How can help seek medical therapy for her who deals these areas?
Online emdr apps have offered me some relief. Just an opinion, as I am not a medical professional. UA-cam will probably ban me, again for making a suggestion. I’ve noticed they allow pedophiles to continue to post content, however. I hate UA-cam, but these videos are helpful enough to justify it for now. Hang in there, one day at a time, okay? You have so many friends out here, getting through it with you.
As a person with a secure attachment type, being in relationship with someone with complex PTSD was bewildering like nothing I ever experienced before. The "push-pull" dynamic as she was a disorganized attachment type was...in a word...hard. It's a delicate balance and even telling someone with complex PTSD that "I love you...I adore you" can trigger them. I loved this person so deeply because her mental struggles were not her....she is beautiful, > 160 IQ, accomplished, driven (not always good, related to perfectionism), and inside a total mess from years of childhood trauma, teenage sexual and emotional abuse, teen pregnancy, and constant infidelity by a spouse for 8 years. I had offered to do couples therapy to help soothe her dysregulation, but knew that she had to do a bulk of the work on her own. She'd also done a fair amount of psychedelic therapy, though some of it was self-administered and sadly, though there is tremendous promise for this kind of therapy, the dark side is that there can be an attachment to that state because it can temporarily relieve the symptoms of shame, self-worth, hopelessness, despair, anxiety, and depression. Eventually, the relationship exploded and was heartbroken to lose someone I loved so deeply (and who repeatedly told me how deeply she loved me). If you're in a relationship with someone with complex PTSD, read this Elephant Journal article... www.elephantjournal.com/2020/12/how-to-love-the-broken/
Det var greit i was hei heui rett rrt i gir h7 hei 500 t the t 80 7b i 2 98 2 98 og hei yt hei hei og 992i 2httt i fremtiden skal h2 rundt rundt y 9jhr9 9jhr9 i og 2e 2e with the a to 8 99 got trygg 2rrhtg9 hei av I jo 7e 8 the 6 i 9 i og uu uhyre og yte tjenester e re ut i kulda kulda e ut uet 85E en 7t9h 9 9 8yeeeh i utlandet h9tjtie yr i det minste t r 992i ttiet y i 8 with the i det et er 9utr e8t hei av jt9 og i t83uu 3d jeg ut 2tt i det h7 h7 htettty9hhthtett2ht2hr2yihrth2hh 25 tjift hjort og it ytterligere hytta i hytta t 80 i typ har that hei av 6 hei h i 7t9h h7 7e h7 http i det yyt hei han h
Wow, you just explained my relationship with my deceased alcoholic narcissistic mother. And I am currently unable to function due to added trauma from the past three years. I wish people were talking about this thirty years ago, It would've changed my life.
I'm 42 years old. My day today absolutely sucks. Today I'm Depress frustrated 4 days off the alcohol today. Have a therapist and psychologist Still I haven't been able to have the courage to really confront my traumas.I don't know if ever will. It seems like just living year per year Takes a toll. Unfulfilled untop potential comes to mind. What the future awaits for me as of right now it's a tossed up at best . Childhood trauma it's the worst so far. Keep fighting the good fight I guess no other choice that's good.
30 years ago we didn't know that much about it. Veterans from the Vietnam war started teaching us about trauma. We know much more about attachment, development, relational trauma today than ever but we are still learning.
Shibin, I certainly will keep you in my prayers as I was an abused child also. You might want to watch videos on youtube by Brent Baum on the technique that helped me so much HMR or Holographic Memory Resolution. You can google his website also. God Bless and virtual hugs for you and your inner child if that feels safe!
@@franciegwin thanks very much Mary That definitely feel safe. God bless you... I'm trying to cope with it with more concrete understanding and seeking out help from God. hope we are on the same page. If you don't mind, can we get connected?
@@mariahbickford5849 thanks Mariah, that's a lot comforting.. just before when I hit the street i was extremely anxious and felt exhausted. But still going on🙏 Feel free to get connected if don't mind.... Friends are rare and friendship is a dream for me.... God bless you and your family....❤️
I think my perpetual disregulation from being raised by a narcissistic parent has caused me to get sucked into relationships with emotionally abusive partners. I had no idea I was being mistreated and I ignored all the obvious signs of betrayal. I made it so easy for them. Like my brain was just not working. Now there is even more relationship trauma to work through and years later I am just realizing what happened. They were not even serious relationships.
I am struggling and playing mental gymnastics while living in a household w a demanding possible narcissist mother- and a partner that I feel gaslit by, and a daughter that brings up my I feel thrown off my center constantly, he’s also super understanding and can hold space for me, and he’s losing patience and love with me. I feel so reliant on his love and approval whereas I try to give myself. Can we chat? I don’t know who to talk to, I’ve only had a few sessions.
I just told my therapist I was ready to start doing the hard work after almost a year of working together. It is so affirming to hear that this is normal.
Yes, Yes, Yes. As a survivor of childhood trauma, family and friends can help, but professional EMDR therapists are awesome with PTSD and trauma. Journaling helps and boundaries are vital. Great advice.
I cant sustain any relationship. Friends partners or family. I ended up with complex ptsd and bpd. My therapist informed me she has to end the sessions in the middle of a pandemic where I'm 100% isolated due to medical conditions. A whole year will have be wasted on dealing with the effects from that and not treating the conditions I got into therapy for. Not exactly the best timing.
@@PhoenixtheII i do feel lonely but the way it was put to me was to think of it as this is my normal. I dont feel comfortable in the situations I used to before I got sick. But there are some elements I wish I could have back. I cant bond with anyone and I cant trust a single soul. Everyone always wants something from me, but never good things. They just take
Oh dear Joanne that was unfortunate timing. Another fallout from Covid we can easily forget about. You do sound aware and working well with your therapist when available so I hope you can find a way to get back to that plan that was working for you. Best wishes for continuing improvement and peace in your soul.
I heard the most important thing is that you have a good relationship with your therapist. It is more important than what kind of therapy you are doing.
But not so good that you end up marrying them! {Happened to a family friend} One of the best therapists I know {He doesn't do marriage guidance} gives a first session free to see if prospective client and he can 'work' together. Counselling is expensive, and less and less is available ''For free'' these days {NHS} A good counsellor can really help...But some are much better 'Fit' than others. A mutual trust is essential. There seems to be a shortage of male counsellors in UK ..Women aplenty. But men can understand men better, and vice versa. A very good male counsellor gave me good advice regarding a male family member though.
Parent, sibling and group of siblings mockery, betrayal, scapegoated. I got out. Starting over. I tried to help everyone, I stayed out of gossip. I lived on my own. I thought this all would keep me close to family- only to be booted.
Couple therapy is NOT to be recommended to Narcs Psychopaths Sociopath. If you can't analyse what your partner has then don't take him to couples counseling. First you go yourself then if the psychiatrist recommends couples counsel ok. A narc etc will only learn more about how to torture you better.
I have been debilitated by cPTSD, from familial sexual abuse as a child; repeated domestic abuse in multiple relationships an adult & continuing emotional abuse and triggering from my narcisstic family members who are in denial about my experiences, especially as it relates to them. I have been dependent on SSI for 25 years, my career as a lawyer having been derailed by my personal life. Finding help has been difficult because f limited financial resources; and my long term pursuit of understanding an answ to the question, what is wring with me & why. UA-cam has been helpful, but this is the first time that I’ve been introduced to to the important distinction between PTSD and CPTSD, the late describing me. I have not been in an intimate relationship in over 10 years. At 62, my trauma & fears have totally consumed my life. Thank you for providing me with another piece of this illusive puzzle. I seek to rise above feeling hopeless & helpless.
Thank you so much for making this available on different platforms- and free! This was absolutely so fascinating, and I’m so grateful. Thank you Kyle, and Dr. Iglesia!!
Two movies to watch are: East of Eden about Golden Child and Scapegoat. James Dean was the Scapegoat child. The other Movie called Oridinary People with Mary Tyler Moore. One child is the Golden Child that died and the other living child is the Scapegoat. Very Very sad and truthful movies.
My bully father died in 1978. Now that I have flashed back to the abuse he perpetrated on me at 12 or 13, I break down and cry every few days. I will be so glad when my therapy class begins in Frebuary 2023.
EMDR is good but there is another technique that's been around over 20 yrs Holographic Memory Resolution or HMR by Brent Baum. You can learn here on youtube in a lecture scientifically how it works by Mr. Baum. Mr. Baum holds certification classes that are advertised on his website. Just google HMR or the long version. On his site there are lists of therapists that are certified in the US and in other countries. It worked miracles for me. I made more progress over the last few yrs than in the previous 20+ yrs of therapy. I would highly recommend this.
Unfortunately finding a good therapist is just as painful. Most counselors who are effective don’t take insurance- cash only and Are booked out - and unaffordable !!!! The ones who do accept insurance are either in clinical setting or completely ineffective when it comes to complex trauma. I gave up on therapy because of the lackluster options… so many therapist are unable to help. Completely useless!!!
I am a 43-year-old woman diagnosed with PTSD. I have been in 17 car accidents has a passenger ranging over 30 years times frame. I’ve also been in quite a few domestic violence, relationships and I know exactly what she’s talking about.
I am constantly trying to inform myself to better respond to my wife . She told me she has gone through years of sa and suffers from ptsd and had a couple of depression issues in the past . She has had panic attacks as well but doesn’t see how she reacts to things or responds in inappropriately. These videos help me to bridge the gap but I’m desperately trying to get her into therapy , because she really need help . I love and I’m even willing to go to sessions with her if needed for support or ass a support partner . She just refuses to get therapy from a licensed clinician. She shows fear of going to therapy because she thinks they will label her as crazy
ComplexPTSD That's me. I can remember abuse from my 3 babysitters as far back as 3yo. I can remember neglect from my parents as an adolescent. I can remember being bullied by my father all my life. Thank you Dr for that clear definition. So of course I have been the recipient of narcissistic abuse all my 74 yrs of life. At least now I know when to go no contact. But I obviously have a lot of work to do to overcome derealization and disassociation--yes lots of work. I have started by reading self help books, until my therapy class starts.
I'm impressed that at the tender age of 74 you are still seeking healing. You are incredible. I may be still seeking healing at this time in my life too...because I think CPTSD is a life long condition, at least for me. Keep going forward girl! You got this!
The noise coming from Dr. Christina's computer has been a distraction! I have been listening and rapt trying to learn. This conversation is great, very helpful and I'm glad the noise wasn't worse but still irritating. Thank U for all you do.
My ears perked up when I heard Brainspotting! Yay! I am a Certified Brainspotting Therapist in the treatment of trauma. It was developed by a former trainer for EMDR, Dr. David Grand. I have found the set up is a lot easier and more gentle. Brainspotting DOES work with clients doing teletherapy. Some clients who don't have internet also benefit even on the phone! A starting SUDs may be 6 and ending SUDs 0. More common however for my clients is a lower SUDs by at least 2 points. Thanks MedCircle. I enjoy the content.
@@jenynz5334 Visit the website Brainspotting.com and there is a directory for Brainspotting therapists. Good luck. There are about 16 thousand of us now trained worldwide.
Tried brain spotting and found it helpful. I think is because of my psychotic symptoms that I've to visit a therapist I know that I had to stop therapy with brain spotting therapist.
I am currently dating a girl with CPTSD. We've been going out for a year. And I gotta say intimacy has been the greatest challenge we've faced. It's been almost impossible to get intimate, and I've been as empathetic, patient and caring as I can be. I'm a naturally assertive person, and I am the type of partner who embraces open clear communication, yet she refuses to open up and turns to this avoidant behaviour. I'm out of resources, not because I think physical intimacy all that I want from a relationship (although it is important), but because emotional intimacy solidifies the bond between partners. And I love her but at times I don't know what to do anymore. I guess what I'm trying to say is: How does one manage to get pass the PTSD barriers in order to lovingly initiate intimacy and grow from it? Would appreciate the insight :)
Hi I have a masters degree in social work and have worked through my own personal and military traumas that occurred over many years. I believe having a partner validate what has happened is one of the greatest things that can support and help bridge the connection together. I do agree though, if she isn’t open to the process of healing…you will wear yourself down-self care is key. Focus on you first, what you are feeling, and be able to communicate what you need also. Hopefully she can respect you and herself enough to embrace the journey…as working through these traumas take great self dedication and awareness of how it’s impacted our lives, relationships and world. There is light on the other side-yet if it’s not faced head on there will be continual avoidance and projections onto you. Be well and know you are enough.
As someone who has CPTSD from complex war trauma and abuse I can tell you that intimacy and trust are REALLY difficult for people like me and I assume your girlfriend. It’s not that we don’t want to but don’t know HOW to be so vulnerable when life has been viciously harsh. I would say a lot of patience, a lot of therapy, and taking small steps. I still don’t feel safe, in my body, in my mind, in my home… anywhere and I’ve done a lot of therapy. It’s a process that will take time and your girlfriend needs to be willing to start healing and forgiving, and in the meantime if you can continue supporting her.
ive just come out of a 10 yr relationship with a woman with severe CPTSD due to childhood sex abuse,emotional neglect.She kicked me out of her house and completely cut me off with no discussion or lead up and refuses to get help or even admit to her problems,its about my deficiencies as a partner that she has never told me about?I am a Doctor with a long background in psychology before that and knew very early in the relationship of her issues.After a previous episode when she kicked me out for an unknown reason I persuaded her to get treatment but never disclosed what was done or even if she went.She wants to be friends now but refuses all engagement or explanation about how she treated me.I have worn myself out with effort and anxiety over the past 10 yrs trying to compromise and explain her behaviour to her.I have to now accept she doesnt want to change and would rather just run away from relationships entirely.This is the 4th man she has done the same to.She is a lovely,kind woman but with complete inability to regulate or even discuss emotion so no problem she has is ever resolved and just festers until she cannot deal with the distress and responds with with childhood coping strategies of avoidance and shutting down.Very sad.
@@scarred10 man I feel you and empathize with your comment on so many levels. You described the situation that I went through with the girl from the original comments as if it was textbooked. And in a way it is, apparently. From what I've understood, CPTSD often creates this avoidant type of attachment in people, and what's worse, despite these people being sort of functional, kind, lovely human beings on a daily basis...when it comes to relationships they're just scared little kittens, and (I don't know if the following happened to you) they tent to make confident, reassured, loving people into anxious, worried overthinkers who are always wondering if the person will ever change and giving it all to help them, when sometimes they clearly don't want to be helped, nor want the love we warmly offer. A big takeaway from me is that it doesn't matter how patient, loving, caring you are... Love itself won't change anyone who's deeply wounded. And why would I insist on giving something to someone that has already refused to take it several times in the past? I wish them the best, but I have to put myself first at some point.
I was talking to that guy after my past trauma relationship and dates... I was scared to live what I have lived in the part and I was always asking him the same questions such as : why did you choose me, are you talking to other girls, will you hurt me... I was just scared to loose him and at the same time I didn’t want to be too attached and clingy... I still have this problem and I don’t know what to do anymore
I understand. I have borderline personality disorder, so I'm super clingy, paranoid, desperately trying to be normal. Been married for 16 years and still worry about losing him daily. I need a lot of work.
This is an awesome interview. I’m living with a woman who’s a practicing Buddhist, has ptsd (or cptsd), has completed about 2/3rds of a psych degree, has more tools in the tool box them MOST clinical psychologists I’ve experienced, was a practicing voice dialog practitioner, and has two kids with Autism, one with PDA. She’s awesome, but the unpredictability constantly does my head in. Growing up in what I regard as a perfect childhood, as viewed though the lens that I’m now a biological father to a 7yo, and step dad to a 7 and 12 yo, she resents me for that. And is enraged when I say my inner child is at peace playing Lego in his room all day long. The inner chaos in her mind I cannot begin to appreciate. I’m not sure yet how to make it work, have tried three different tactics so far from my perspective. Her constant, every day, often every hour, need for approval and being thanked is draining.
And just as a side note, unrelated to my currently relationship but having a huge impact on my 7yo son, my ex wife has DID ( Dissassociative Identity Disorder) with one alter personality , but her twin sister has/had 7 alter personalities. Makes is super hard for mr7 to understand Wtf is going on, he tells me “mummy often gets angry and says she never would have said that or made that promise”. So I try to be Mr consistent for him, and I’ve been talking about the situation with him in a light, high level way, offering empathy for him, of course can’t lay it all out for a 7yo, and can’t detail why his mum and Aunty have cptsd from sexual abuse as 8yo’s. Side note no2. Was dating a psychiatrist between ex wife and current partner. Her parents absolutely disgraceful behaviour was the cause of her PTSD. Parents sided with her narc ex husband and had him for Christmas lunch with grandchild instead of her. I’m determined somehow to not let intergenerational trauma flow through to this next generation on my side. Too late for my step kids sadly, their biological father is a walking cluster f$&k. All sounds so messy when I detail it all here. Living and growing to understand DID gave me some unique insights. I cannot really put words to what DID is, but I have a visualisation of it in my mind. Playing with Nietzsche’s thought exercise was the most powerful tool to put the living and loving a DID sufferer behind me.
My heart goes out to you. It is not easy. As a concerned friend, I am wondering if you may find getting support for yourself to be able to navigate this. I also wonder if you would like to reflect if you have had relative with trauma when you grew up?
I feel like my trauma responses are going to destroy my relationship with my fiance, I've worked so hard to have a good relationship but he feels like I don't trust him because my anxiety and trauma responses are undermining my trust. I don't know how to prove to him that I do trust him, my mental health is just taking the wheel and I don't know how to take control back over my life, feelings and actions.
I feel like I’ve never learned how to trust because of my trauma. I’ve been with my bf for 6 years and I still have doubts he really loves me. I can’t imagine how much it hurts him to not be trusted like this but I want to get better, he deserves that.
@@sourgreendolly7685 The same here. We just broke up. 31 years old, single, no kids...The life that I wanted is starting to fade away. I thought it was possible with him. I only make him sick and I feel so bad about it.
It amazes me that anyone could only have one traumatic experience or relationship in their life, on this planet, how's it even possible? Then, I am 60, so, I've had plenty of life to compile a catalogue of 'em.
its not about the event,its about the effect it has on the person.For example,the vast majority of combat vets do not have PTSD.The personality,previous experience and following positive experiences can protect against developing the condition itself.
No mention of MDMA-Assisted Psychotherapy for PTSD? Phase 3 clinical trials are currently in progress, and the treatment seems likely to be FDA approved around 2022 or 2023
The way I understand the kind of horrific trauma that some military personnel go through it affects the body in a way which leaves a person having difficulty during the healing process which can interfere with relationships in more ways than only just a 2 year recovery period in which things like having to survive things like injuries involving a larger total area of their body leading to often greater susceptibility to viruses and bacterial infection sepsis to cope with for several weeks with the need for antibiotic too whereupon the person's central hearing and their connective soft tissue must heal after that too. If the person suffering from the trauma healing process doesn't understand and/or if the people around them do not understand what they are coping with that can for sure contribute to the person developing on top of everything else a mental illness like a major depression with delusion like symptoms too. What complicates things a lot more is when the trauma included injury from microwave weaponry which has not always been detected in an area by military personnel in the past. On top of it all sometimes former service men who were diagnosed with PTSD and a mental illness too are often taken advantage of by people who see them as being a softer target since the courts are filled with corrupt agents who make money on defending people with the mental illness excuse which makes it much harder for honest caring people who have experienced trauma to cope because of the resulting from that corruption stigma. Family members trying to help someone in the military through the average 2 year length of time healing process and readjustment to any resulting permanent disability too needs support as care givers too. There are other forms of trauma too that requires just as much need for support. Like trauma suffered during gang stalking.
Dissociation is about integrating (of alters/parts) not grounding, but you must get the client at a stage were they are ready to hear the truth of were there trauma came from. The body intentionally hides the trauma to protect the person, to ignore it and focus on the core/host/presenter (who is unaware) does not heal the pain, it avoids the pain. The medical field really needs to get better, at understand and providing help, for people with DID and other forms of dissociation. Were still using methods which trigger clients, making trauma worse or we avoid alters/parts all together never getting any resolution of the trauma.
There are many different forms of dissociation and most of them do not involve alters. Depersonalization and derealization are 2 examples in which grounding is most effective
The traumatic event has passed and no real danger continues? Really, I dont agree. Society in general does not accept the fact that the actions of parents can be significantly damaging to their children. I the USA there probably has been a shift in the past 10-20 years or so, also in Norway and some other places, but in many places in the World it is not accepted. Therefore societal norms often push people in the direction of relationships that are harmful. I probably have a very very mild form of cPTSD. From everything that I have learned and experienced first hand: Emotional triggeres are there to protect us in the future from things/events/bahavior that is similar to that which we have experienced, that can harm us. Emotional abuse has the ability to destroy the self, if exposed too long: I saw it happen to my mother (schizofrenic), my friend (cPTSD, anxiety disorder with depression). In many cases when cPTSD is from childhood, the individual may not remember the damaging events. I did a lot of work to find out that an event that happened and from which I only remember one part, included my father trying to strangle my mother.... My emotional triggers from father started to be very markant, when I was an adult after he began to be verbally aggressive toward me. Triggered emotions many times have a function. For me Eg. covert aggression (described so well by George Simon in his books) from anyone causes me to feel some anxiety/fear and when I think about it, I realize it reminds me of my narc father's behavior - Its a warning signal - BEWARE of this person, because he is capable of such toxic behavior. Society and even some therapists refuse to see this and many times the trauma is NOT remembered, so it is not obvious why it is happening.
I feel like my therapist pushes me too hard. I don't have trauma but I have a hard time opening up. He said that therapy is a two way street and that I also need to try. I agree, but I dunno I felt like I was trying
Hey Anon, if I’m being honest, I’m not a therapist, but it seems like your therapist is only using a helpful/ beneficial technique to try and help you open up a tiny bit more, which would ultimately help you heal in the end. If you really do think he’s a bad guy, then by all means find a new one. But I also want you to try and give him the benefit of the doubt and think about every single different way through his expertise that he’s trying to help you, you know? I know you can do this, we believe in you!!!
It takes a while to open up. I had a similar issue, I don't really understand what technique my therapist used, but it brought me closer to my inner self let's say. (as I was fully detached from my feelings) Don't rush/pressure yourself and follow the course of the therapy. If it doesn't help then maybe the techniques your therapist uses don't work on you. Be honest in your feedback that could help your therapist to change his/her approach.
I say trust your feelings. A therapist needs to reach you where you are, not guilt trip you to do something you don't feel (trust). I'd try another therapist.
I think I have symptoms of this but can’t remember anything from the past couple months. I worry that I’ve done something to someone else at times. Other times I wonder if I have a couple diff personalities bc I cannot remember certain things people tell me I’ve done. Basically my short term memory lacks but I remember every little thing from my past.
I hope you're doing okay now. I know I have different "sides" but haven't been diagnosed with d.i.d. CPTSD also has a lot in common with Borderline personality disorder, which I also have 🤦🏻♀️
Can ptsd or cptsd cause a person to be irritable and get angry quickly just by every day life situations and not by necessarily reminders of past trauma?
@@bibtii9691 That's most likely a sign for being triggered. Overwhelming emotions almost alöwys trace back to old stuff in childhood. Even though you are not aware of it - that's the twist. You need to find out. Sometimes the most "ridiculous small" things can have a very strong impact.
the sufferer often doesnt realise its a trigger from the childhood and thinks its the current situation.My ex partner completely failed to recognise this and continually insisted it was my behaviour that was the problem.
This is such a helpful video. I have had many traumatic events. I was diagnosed with PTSD at 15 yrs old.I have just started to really see how it effects my 3 yr relationship. I am worried my past trauma will ruin my relationship so I'm always in self protection mode. I'm working on feeling those emotions and pin pointing when that happens. This video is so insightful. Thank you🙏🏻
I'm on the opposite end, i figured out my partner has depression and PTSD some weeks ago. And I have fear I may have triggered it on her again because of normal relationship arguments. Could we talk for a bit somehow? Share experiences from opposite ends... Maybe give advice. I'm roller coasting between hope and absolute hopelessness
Hi sweetheart I am worried about my daughter she don’t want to go to school she don’t eat or get out of bed she 16 years old she had anxiety in a classes room . She is so smart and beautiful. . She was abused by her father , her father is a convert narcissist her walk out us one year age , thank u
I’m so sorry to hear about this, does she have anyone she can reach out to like a friend or close relative she trusts that can help comfort and talk with her?
I woke up in the middle of the night in 2003 kn a panic, my heart race, and jumped through a window and almost died and have never been able to describe what happened to me. I was doing drugs but not at the time. I got beat alot as a child. I've had similar experience... sober.
I understand EMDR can be dangerous for certain Trauma victims. I also understand talk therapy doesn't work for all victims of trauma either. And once an individual has experienced such abuse, weve removed ourselves from Narcissistic family, spouses, friends etc amd we are left in a quarantine filled w unhealthy individuals everywhere. I don't believe childhood and adulthood trauma can be healed at all. I believe we learn to live in peace w what weve suffered throughout life, which is all abuse is betrayal trauma in itself. I also believe it's a mix of trying different therapies out to find what's best for each individual.
How do I heal? I have CPTSD from multiple trauma, Anxiety, and Clinically Depressed.I'm 42 and I end up having unhealthy relationships because I let them use me to avoid conflict, fear of rejection.....I know its abuse but I go with it anyway. I am in therapy but she don't care about me healing. My question is, what would take for me to stop making bad choices in a relationships?
Stay single until you can make better choices and have some confidence in yourself so you won't be used again. Fire your therapist there are some awful therapists out there but for the bad ones there are some fantastic ones too. I know you can do this girl
Somatic Experiencing, EMDR, DBT, Brainspotting, Mindfulness meditation, journaling, healthy diet, good sleep, exercise, boundaries, good self care, surrounding yourself with healthy people, psychoeducation are some of the options
I'm a normal person that has had alot of self help work and also couseling in the past years and now I'm with someone with ptsd and it has mentally beaten me up it's a rollercoaster ride. What do I do it's hard on me cause there 4 kids also that have these mental health issues. I'm thinking it might be time to let go
TyMed Circle !! your Videos help me so much!! i have not bern able to afford the monthly mrmbership. I am on Fixed ssi income. Ty for letting me hear these..
I dont know if anyone will read this going forward, but my spouse and I had lost our child and since then my wife discussed ptsd with me. She ended up discussing how she cannot be with me right now because she needs to work on herself and work on healing and that I am a reminder of the trauma that happened despite all my efforts to be supportive. She asked me for time and space. Does anyone have any experience or seen anyone get back with a PTSD survivor?
So sorry, I hope things are better for you now. Some people just seem to break apart. Some go off and start over because the past is just too painful. But I'm not sure what percentage actually get better that way and how many keep repeating damaged patterns. I wish you well, take care of yourself, because that's all you can do.
i had bf who has ptsd,he just broke up with me 2 weeks ago,and i felt devastated bcoz i loved him so much but i felt that he was'nt that sure what he is doing,he broke up with me just bcoz i didnt agree that he cant come home on april we are in long distance relationship been waiting for him for more than 2 yrs.i know he loves me too but i dont understand why he decided to broke up with all of a sudden.im thinking maybe his ptsd has been triggered or what,i wanted to help him and be by on his side during difficult times but i cant do that coz he is so far from me.
Question for DR Christina how can we handle childhood trauma from an school group setting to every day working adult life, relationships? I’m living with my wife at home, going to work every day. I went from being physically beaten up by other students in a class behind me with the wrong groups in the school setting in between school,home with a disability , growing up from being traumatized to every day life,work, getting over my father in law’s passing too. any support groups closer to Napa or in Napa? I came out of an every day comedy past relationship with every day humor, I can’t take a joke from a past relationship how can be supportive to my current wife now my childhood family friend passed away from PTSD, I’m looking for childhood trauma support groups
I have been diagnosed with PTSD I get very many symptoms. Mostly wanting revenge. IM furious about everything that had happened to my GRANDAUGHTER murder and the way I was treated and all the SHIT that has happened to my loved ones I IM F...ING PISSED. And IM old
I have PTSD n I'm bi polor ADHD n I want to know why I get defensive when I don't have to n get things mixed up n lie with out realizing I'm doing it how do I stop
Register for PART 2 of this conversation HERE: bit.ly/3kcmOK4
No therapy worked IM pisses
My GRANDAUGHTER was drowned by her father and many other very tragic SHIT has happened therapy is not working my temper I explosive if I even have a split second thought if any of my grandchildren are in any sort of danger IM PISSED its very hard for me not to duck someone up IM always watching out for them
I feel defeated at times, because of the past trauma and compliance trauma. I was married to a narcissistic man from 18 to 31 years old. I had no choice back then to mask my hurt he caused at levels nobody should be ok with. Verbal abuse hurts bad. I grew up with Parents who suffered in silence over a family event that changed I'm sure all of our futures and changed each one of us in ways that might have been about to be helped but my parents weren't informed of any resources in the late 70s.
I feel I passed down my ptsd to my daughter when pregnant. Today she is stifled with a medical injury that changes myself, my ex husband and the person my daughter who lives with a medical mistake without aid.
We know there is resources to help..
Right now she's had to many sad days, she is very depressed. How can help seek medical therapy for her who deals these areas?
I have a question? Can someone cause this trauma to another person?? Like in a boy friend / girl friend relationship???? I’m very curious
Complex ptsd is very painful
Online emdr apps have offered me some relief. Just an opinion, as I am not a medical professional. UA-cam will probably ban me, again for making a suggestion. I’ve noticed they allow pedophiles to continue to post content, however. I hate UA-cam, but these videos are helpful enough to justify it for now. Hang in there, one day at a time, okay? You have so many friends out here, getting through it with you.
Only someone who has it can have any idea just how much agony it brings
@@hasgoodles7807 are you searching for them?
I recommend Peter Levines somatic experiencing techniques.
Yes it is!
As a person with a secure attachment type, being in relationship with someone with complex PTSD was bewildering like nothing I ever experienced before. The "push-pull" dynamic as she was a disorganized attachment type was...in a word...hard. It's a delicate balance and even telling someone with complex PTSD that "I love you...I adore you" can trigger them. I loved this person so deeply because her mental struggles were not her....she is beautiful, > 160 IQ, accomplished, driven (not always good, related to perfectionism), and inside a total mess from years of childhood trauma, teenage sexual and emotional abuse, teen pregnancy, and constant infidelity by a spouse for 8 years. I had offered to do couples therapy to help soothe her dysregulation, but knew that she had to do a bulk of the work on her own. She'd also done a fair amount of psychedelic therapy, though some of it was self-administered and sadly, though there is tremendous promise for this kind of therapy, the dark side is that there can be an attachment to that state because it can temporarily relieve the symptoms of shame, self-worth, hopelessness, despair, anxiety, and depression. Eventually, the relationship exploded and was heartbroken to lose someone I loved so deeply (and who repeatedly told me how deeply she loved me). If you're in a relationship with someone with complex PTSD, read this Elephant Journal article... www.elephantjournal.com/2020/12/how-to-love-the-broken/
Det var greit i was hei heui rett rrt i gir h7 hei 500 t the t 80 7b i 2 98 2 98 og hei yt hei hei og 992i 2httt i fremtiden skal h2 rundt rundt y 9jhr9 9jhr9 i og 2e 2e with the a to 8 99 got trygg 2rrhtg9 hei av I jo 7e 8 the 6 i 9 i og uu uhyre og yte tjenester e re ut i kulda kulda e ut uet 85E en 7t9h 9 9 8yeeeh i utlandet h9tjtie yr i det minste t r 992i ttiet y i 8 with the i det et er 9utr e8t hei av jt9 og i t83uu 3d jeg ut 2tt i det h7 h7 htettty9hhthtett2ht2hr2yihrth2hh 25 tjift hjort og it ytterligere hytta i hytta t 80 i typ har that hei av 6 hei h i 7t9h h7 7e h7 http i det yyt hei han h
wow this hits home for what I am going through now. It's so hard to let him go I don't want to.
So what to do about it is complete bull shite because no body knows what to do but medicate it.
Sounds like my last relationship
Wow, you just explained my relationship with my deceased alcoholic narcissistic mother. And I am currently unable to function due to added trauma from the past three years. I wish people were talking about this thirty years ago, It would've changed my life.
If you’re suffering today -
Let’s address it from HERE - 👀
I'm 42 years old.
My day today absolutely sucks.
Today I'm Depress frustrated
4 days off the alcohol today.
Have a therapist and psychologist
Still I haven't been able to have the courage to really confront my traumas.I don't know if ever will.
It seems like just living year per year
Takes a toll.
Unfulfilled untop potential comes to mind.
What the future awaits for me as of right now it's a tossed up at best .
Childhood trauma it's the worst so far. Keep fighting the good fight I guess no other choice that's good.
30 years ago we didn't know that much about it. Veterans from the Vietnam war started teaching us about trauma. We know much more about attachment, development, relational trauma today than ever but we are still learning.
Thanks for the video
I suffer from child hood PTSD, please pray for me to get through this.
Shibin, I certainly will keep you in my prayers as I was an abused child also. You might want to watch videos on youtube by Brent Baum on the technique that helped me so much HMR or Holographic Memory Resolution. You can google his website also. God Bless and virtual hugs for you and your inner child if that feels safe!
@@franciegwin thanks very much Mary
That definitely feel safe.
God bless you... I'm trying to cope with it with more concrete understanding and seeking out help from God. hope we are on the same page.
If you don't mind, can we get connected?
Sending love and prayers ❤️🙏🏾 I pray you heal and flourish Shibin.
@@mariahbickford5849 thanks Mariah, that's a lot comforting.. just before when I hit the street i was extremely anxious and felt exhausted. But still going on🙏
Feel free to get connected if don't mind.... Friends are rare and friendship is a dream for me....
God bless you and your family....❤️
YOU MATTER SHIBIN🥺♥️
For ADHD, set the speed to 1:25, cus she reeaally speaks slow. At 1:25 he is a tad fast but she sounds completely normal. Avoid zoning out so much ;)
Oh my god ty i love this video just hard to not zone out LMAOO
@@kennedy8791 Haha I know the struggle all too well. Wish it worked in real life!!
I almost cried when reading this. I'm so glad I'm not the only one
This is the best tip I have ever read before a video!! lol. Thankyou!
THANK YOU SOOOOOO MUCH!!!!
I think my perpetual disregulation from being raised by a narcissistic parent has caused me to get sucked into relationships with emotionally abusive partners. I had no idea I was being mistreated and I ignored all the obvious signs of betrayal. I made it so easy for them. Like my brain was just not working. Now there is even more relationship trauma to work through and years later I am just realizing what happened. They were not even serious relationships.
I am struggling and playing mental gymnastics while living in a household w a demanding possible narcissist mother- and a partner that I feel gaslit by, and a daughter that brings up my I feel thrown off my center constantly, he’s also super understanding and can hold space for me, and he’s losing patience and love with me. I feel so reliant on his love and approval whereas I try to give myself. Can we chat? I don’t know who to talk to, I’ve only had a few sessions.
I am right there with you. My mom truly ruined my whole life.
@@changethematrix oh my gosh same here
OMG.. THIS 100% !!!
😞
Music is so helpful.
Wish that was enough. I'm going through hell at work because of a nuisance neighbor, and there are times I can't block out the noise with headphones.
Yep
Because music is life :)
Yoga, art
I feel so lost. My fiancé left me after 4 years together, and I don’t know how to move forward. I just want him back.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I went through a similar heartbreak, and I know how unbearable it feels.
How did you deal with it? Did you ever get your partner back?
Yes, I did, with the help of a spiritual guide Father Akabu. He has a gift for restoring broken relationships.
Really? Do you think he can help me?
I’m sure he can. He’s helped so many people, including me. You can search for him online he’s very powerful and kind.
I started my cptsd at age 5 until I was 12. I'm now 55. It has affected my life tremendously. It's so hard to heal. It just hurts again to fix
I just told my therapist I was ready to start doing the hard work after almost a year of working together. It is so affirming to hear that this is normal.
Yes, Yes, Yes. As a survivor of childhood trauma, family and friends can help, but professional EMDR therapists are awesome with PTSD and trauma. Journaling helps and boundaries are vital. Great advice.
I cant sustain any relationship. Friends partners or family. I ended up with complex ptsd and bpd. My therapist informed me she has to end the sessions in the middle of a pandemic where I'm 100% isolated due to medical conditions. A whole year will have be wasted on dealing with the effects from that and not treating the conditions I got into therapy for. Not exactly the best timing.
Do you also feel like in therapy... to feel lonely and others are so functional?
@@PhoenixtheII i do feel lonely but the way it was put to me was to think of it as this is my normal. I dont feel comfortable in the situations I used to before I got sick. But there are some elements I wish I could have back. I cant bond with anyone and I cant trust a single soul. Everyone always wants something from me, but never good things. They just take
@@joannethomson965 Hello, me
Oh dear Joanne that was unfortunate timing. Another fallout from Covid we can easily forget about. You do sound aware and working well with your therapist when available so I hope you can find a way to get back to that plan that was working for you. Best wishes for continuing improvement and peace in your soul.
Hello dear do you need help ?
Intuitive eating really helped on my journey with trauma! Just an idea to look into
I heard the most important thing is that you have a good relationship with your therapist. It is more important than what kind of therapy you are doing.
But not so good that you end up marrying them! {Happened to a family friend}
One of the best therapists I know {He doesn't do marriage guidance} gives a first session free to see if prospective client and he can 'work' together.
Counselling is expensive, and less and less is available ''For free'' these days {NHS}
A good counsellor can really help...But some are much better 'Fit' than others.
A mutual trust is essential.
There seems to be a shortage of male counsellors in UK ..Women aplenty. But men can understand men better, and vice versa.
A very good male counsellor gave me good advice regarding a male family member though.
Well, I would phrase it differently, as in finding a competent therapist who didn’t enter the profession as a source of narcissistic supply.
100% If you don't feel safe with your therapist the treatment will probably not be effective.
The comment around 30:30 about CPT, was CPT, not CBT. CPT is Cognitive Processing Therapy, and is a well validated approach to trauma work.
Or betrayed by a family member. Which is were a lot of time, the first betrayal happened.
Yes
Parent, sibling and group of siblings mockery, betrayal, scapegoated. I got out. Starting over. I tried to help everyone, I stayed out of gossip. I lived on my own. I thought this all would keep me close to family- only to be booted.
@@makaylahollywood3677 why did you get booted out?
This
Couple therapy is NOT to be recommended to Narcs Psychopaths Sociopath. If you can't analyse what your partner has then don't take him to couples counseling. First you go yourself then if the psychiatrist recommends couples counsel ok. A narc etc will only learn more about how to torture you better.
This is sooooooo true. This happened to me.
Correct.
Ik everything Oliv i
yes, solution is to Dump him!
They will also try to recruit the therapist as a flying monkey. If they don’t fool the therapist They will try & discredit them.
I have been debilitated by cPTSD, from familial sexual abuse as a child; repeated domestic abuse in multiple relationships an adult & continuing emotional abuse and triggering from my narcisstic family members who are in denial about my experiences, especially as it relates to them. I have been dependent on SSI for 25 years, my career as a lawyer having been derailed by my personal life.
Finding help has been difficult because f limited financial resources; and my long term pursuit of understanding an answ to the question, what is wring with me & why.
UA-cam has been helpful, but this is the first time that I’ve been introduced to to the important distinction between PTSD and CPTSD, the late describing me.
I have not been in an intimate relationship in over 10 years. At 62, my trauma & fears have totally consumed my life.
Thank you for providing me with another piece of this illusive puzzle. I seek to rise above feeling hopeless & helpless.
Check out Tim Fletcher's UA-cam videos. His series on Re-Parenting is especially enlightening
Thank you so much for making this available on different platforms- and free! This was absolutely so fascinating, and I’m so grateful. Thank you Kyle, and Dr. Iglesia!!
Two movies to watch are: East of Eden about Golden Child and Scapegoat. James Dean was the Scapegoat child. The other Movie called Oridinary People with Mary Tyler Moore. One child is the Golden Child that died and the other living child is the Scapegoat. Very Very sad and truthful movies.
Both excellent movies. Specialty Ordinary People means a lot to me.!
My bully father died in 1978. Now that I have flashed back to the abuse he perpetrated on me at 12 or 13, I break down and cry every few days. I will be so glad when my therapy class begins in Frebuary 2023.
Seeing a severed head and body parts blown around during a combat zone is hard to remember or forget!
Omg this woman has hit the nail on the head !
EMDR
EMDR is good but there is another technique that's been around over 20 yrs Holographic Memory Resolution or HMR by Brent Baum. You can learn here on youtube in a lecture scientifically how it works by Mr. Baum. Mr. Baum holds certification classes that are advertised on his website. Just google HMR or the long version. On his site there are lists of therapists that are certified in the US and in other countries. It worked miracles for me. I made more progress over the last few yrs than in the previous 20+ yrs of therapy. I would highly recommend this.
Refocusing my thoughts and feelings on a "positive intention" instead of thinking about or feeling the anger caused by the trauma helps me.
Kyle thank you. You have a deep intelligence of the effects of PTSB and narcissistic behaviour.. Your videos are inspirational.
Unfortunately finding a good therapist is just as painful. Most counselors who are effective don’t take insurance- cash only and Are booked out - and unaffordable !!!! The ones who do accept insurance are either in clinical setting or completely ineffective when it comes to complex trauma. I gave up on therapy because of the lackluster options… so many therapist are unable to help. Completely useless!!!
Understand. You are correct
See if your employer has an Employee Assistance Program. The therapists who work though EAP are more qualified than public therapists.
Look into SGB treatment for PTSD.
I feel you.
Agree
I am a 43-year-old woman diagnosed with PTSD. I have been in 17 car accidents has a passenger ranging over 30 years times frame. I’ve also been in quite a few domestic violence, relationships and I know exactly what she’s talking about.
I am constantly trying to inform myself to better respond to my wife . She told me she has gone through years of sa and suffers from ptsd and had a couple of depression issues in the past . She has had panic attacks as well but doesn’t see how she reacts to things or responds in inappropriately. These videos help me to bridge the gap but I’m desperately trying to get her into therapy , because she really need help . I love and I’m even willing to go to sessions with her if needed for support or ass a support partner . She just refuses to get therapy from a licensed clinician. She shows fear of going to therapy because she thinks they will label her as crazy
ComplexPTSD That's me. I can remember abuse from my 3 babysitters as far back as 3yo. I can remember neglect from my parents as an adolescent. I can remember being bullied by my father all my life. Thank you Dr for that clear definition. So of course I have been the recipient of narcissistic abuse all my 74 yrs of life. At least now I know when to go no contact. But I obviously have a lot of work to do to overcome derealization and disassociation--yes lots of work. I have started by reading self help books, until my therapy class starts.
I'm impressed that at the tender age of 74 you are still seeking healing. You are incredible. I may be still seeking healing at this time in my life too...because I think CPTSD is a life long condition, at least for me. Keep going forward girl! You got this!
Thanks!
The noise coming from Dr. Christina's computer has been a distraction! I have been listening and rapt trying to learn. This conversation is great, very helpful and I'm glad the noise wasn't worse but still irritating. Thank U for all you do.
Thank you, great lecture. I got ptsd from relationship with untreated bipolar. Shit is tough.
Hello dear do you need help in any area ?
I'm right there with you. Same thing has happened to me. I'm in so much pain.
My ears perked up when I heard Brainspotting! Yay! I am a Certified Brainspotting Therapist in the treatment of trauma. It was developed by a former trainer for EMDR, Dr. David Grand. I have found the set up is a lot easier and more gentle. Brainspotting DOES work with clients doing teletherapy. Some clients who don't have internet also benefit even on the phone! A starting SUDs may be 6 and ending SUDs 0. More common however for my clients is a lower SUDs by at least 2 points. Thanks MedCircle. I enjoy the content.
I'm looking for a therapist that does this. My friend said it changed her life.
@@jenynz5334 Visit the website Brainspotting.com and there is a directory for Brainspotting therapists. Good luck. There are about 16 thousand of us now trained worldwide.
Tried brain spotting and found it helpful. I think is because of my psychotic symptoms that I've to visit a therapist I know that I had to stop therapy with brain spotting therapist.
In ways I feel like I'm still the little boy standing by the river, only this time no one is there with me...I'm alone...
I am currently dating a girl with CPTSD. We've been going out for a year. And I gotta say intimacy has been the greatest challenge we've faced. It's been almost impossible to get intimate, and I've been as empathetic, patient and caring as I can be. I'm a naturally assertive person, and I am the type of partner who embraces open clear communication, yet she refuses to open up and turns to this avoidant behaviour. I'm out of resources, not because I think physical intimacy all that I want from a relationship (although it is important), but because emotional intimacy solidifies the bond between partners. And I love her but at times I don't know what to do anymore.
I guess what I'm trying to say is: How does one manage to get pass the PTSD barriers in order to lovingly initiate intimacy and grow from it? Would appreciate the insight :)
Sadly she’s going to have work on that without you. I know it seems like you both have to work on it together but it’s really just her.
Hi I have a masters degree in social work and have worked through my own personal and military traumas that occurred over many years. I believe having a partner validate what has happened is one of the greatest things that can support and help bridge the connection together. I do agree though, if she isn’t open to the process of healing…you will wear yourself down-self care is key. Focus on you first, what you are feeling, and be able to communicate what you need also. Hopefully she can respect you and herself enough to embrace the journey…as working through these traumas take great self dedication and awareness of how it’s impacted our lives, relationships and world. There is light on the other side-yet if it’s not faced head on there will be continual avoidance and projections onto you. Be well and know you are enough.
As someone who has CPTSD from complex war trauma and abuse I can tell you that intimacy and trust are REALLY difficult for people like me and I assume your girlfriend. It’s not that we don’t want to but don’t know HOW to be so vulnerable when life has been viciously harsh. I would say a lot of patience, a lot of therapy, and taking small steps. I still don’t feel safe, in my body, in my mind, in my home… anywhere and I’ve done a lot of therapy. It’s a process that will take time and your girlfriend needs to be willing to start healing and forgiving, and in the meantime if you can continue supporting her.
ive just come out of a 10 yr relationship with a woman with severe CPTSD due to childhood sex abuse,emotional neglect.She kicked me out of her house and completely cut me off with no discussion or lead up and refuses to get help or even admit to her problems,its about my deficiencies as a partner that she has never told me about?I am a Doctor with a long background in psychology before that and knew very early in the relationship of her issues.After a previous episode when she kicked me out for an unknown reason I persuaded her to get treatment but never disclosed what was done or even if she went.She wants to be friends now but refuses all engagement or explanation about how she treated me.I have worn myself out with effort and anxiety over the past 10 yrs trying to compromise and explain her behaviour to her.I have to now accept she doesnt want to change and would rather just run away from relationships entirely.This is the 4th man she has done the same to.She is a lovely,kind woman but with complete inability to regulate or even discuss emotion so no problem she has is ever resolved and just festers until she cannot deal with the distress and responds with with childhood coping strategies of avoidance and shutting down.Very sad.
@@scarred10 man I feel you and empathize with your comment on so many levels. You described the situation that I went through with the girl from the original comments as if it was textbooked. And in a way it is, apparently. From what I've understood, CPTSD often creates this avoidant type of attachment in people, and what's worse, despite these people being sort of functional, kind, lovely human beings on a daily basis...when it comes to relationships they're just scared little kittens, and (I don't know if the following happened to you) they tent to make confident, reassured, loving people into anxious, worried overthinkers who are always wondering if the person will ever change and giving it all to help them, when sometimes they clearly don't want to be helped, nor want the love we warmly offer. A big takeaway from me is that it doesn't matter how patient, loving, caring you are... Love itself won't change anyone who's deeply wounded. And why would I insist on giving something to someone that has already refused to take it several times in the past? I wish them the best, but I have to put myself first at some point.
knowing i have to live like this my entire life is awful. i was so young when it started i just want to be okay but i never will be
Love your program. Very helpful with everything. I love what you said about the specialization of the therapist. I agree, so true
That was one of the best interviews around this subject. Thank you❤️
I was talking to that guy after my past trauma relationship and dates... I was scared to live what I have lived in the part and I was always asking him the same questions such as : why did you choose me, are you talking to other girls, will you hurt me... I was just scared to loose him and at the same time I didn’t want to be too attached and clingy... I still have this problem and I don’t know what to do anymore
I can recommend you to a powerful magician who help me out if you need any help text him
What'sApp
I understand. I have borderline personality disorder, so I'm super clingy, paranoid, desperately trying to be normal. Been married for 16 years and still worry about losing him daily. I need a lot of work.
@@christophermatida1685 thank youuuu
@@jenynz5334 I’m very sorry About that ! I hope you gonna get trough it ❤️🙏
Not everyone can afford therapy. I wish she would have given more helpful information not just tell people to notice the issue and find a therapist
I can recommend you a powerful psychic magician who help me out if you need any help text him on
What'sApp
+ 1 9 0 3 3 4 1 9 3 3 9 .....
@@christophermatida1685are you serious?
@@caroline8799 lol
This is an awesome interview. I’m living with a woman who’s a practicing Buddhist, has ptsd (or cptsd), has completed about 2/3rds of a psych degree, has more tools in the tool box them MOST clinical psychologists I’ve experienced, was a practicing voice dialog practitioner, and has two kids with Autism, one with PDA. She’s awesome, but the unpredictability constantly does my head in. Growing up in what I regard as a perfect childhood, as viewed though the lens that I’m now a biological father to a 7yo, and step dad to a 7 and 12 yo, she resents me for that. And is enraged when I say my inner child is at peace playing Lego in his room all day long. The inner chaos in her mind I cannot begin to appreciate. I’m not sure yet how to make it work, have tried three different tactics so far from my perspective. Her constant, every day, often every hour, need for approval and being thanked is draining.
And just as a side note, unrelated to my currently relationship but having a huge impact on my 7yo son, my ex wife has DID ( Dissassociative Identity Disorder) with one alter personality , but her twin sister has/had 7 alter personalities. Makes is super hard for mr7 to understand Wtf is going on, he tells me “mummy often gets angry and says she never would have said that or made that promise”. So I try to be Mr consistent for him, and I’ve been talking about the situation with him in a light, high level way, offering empathy for him, of course can’t lay it all out for a 7yo, and can’t detail why his mum and Aunty have cptsd from sexual abuse as 8yo’s.
Side note no2. Was dating a psychiatrist between ex wife and current partner. Her parents absolutely disgraceful behaviour was the cause of her PTSD. Parents sided with her narc ex husband and had him for Christmas lunch with grandchild instead of her.
I’m determined somehow to not let intergenerational trauma flow through to this next generation on my side. Too late for my step kids sadly, their biological father is a walking cluster f$&k.
All sounds so messy when I detail it all here. Living and growing to understand DID gave me some unique insights. I cannot really put words to what DID is, but I have a visualisation of it in my mind.
Playing with Nietzsche’s thought exercise was the most powerful tool to put the living and loving a DID sufferer behind me.
My heart goes out to you. It is not easy. As a concerned friend, I am wondering if you may find getting support for yourself to be able to navigate this. I also wonder if you would like to reflect if you have had relative with trauma when you grew up?
Emdr therapy is the gold standard for CPTSD _PTSD
I feel like my trauma responses are going to destroy my relationship with my fiance, I've worked so hard to have a good relationship but he feels like I don't trust him because my anxiety and trauma responses are undermining my trust. I don't know how to prove to him that I do trust him, my mental health is just taking the wheel and I don't know how to take control back over my life, feelings and actions.
I feel like I’ve never learned how to trust because of my trauma. I’ve been with my bf for 6 years and I still have doubts he really loves me. I can’t imagine how much it hurts him to not be trusted like this but I want to get better, he deserves that.
@@sourgreendolly7685 The same here. We just broke up. 31 years old, single, no kids...The life that I wanted is starting to fade away. I thought it was possible with him. I only make him sick and I feel so bad about it.
Yes .here too .. its hard to show him i trust him . Specially if he ignore me.
It amazes me that anyone could only have one traumatic experience or relationship in their life, on this planet, how's it even possible? Then, I am 60, so, I've had plenty of life to compile a catalogue of 'em.
I am 56 and am covered up.
its not about the event,its about the effect it has on the person.For example,the vast majority of combat vets do not have PTSD.The personality,previous experience and following positive experiences can protect against developing the condition itself.
No mention of MDMA-Assisted Psychotherapy for PTSD? Phase 3 clinical trials are currently in progress, and the treatment seems likely to be FDA approved around 2022 or 2023
I wish to God it were available right now. If something doesn’t change soon, I won’t be here in a year.
@@codacreator6162 hang in there. This too shall pass. 😌🙌🏻☀️
Great coverage appreciated
The way I understand the kind of horrific trauma that some military personnel go through it affects the body in a way which leaves a person having difficulty during the healing process which can interfere with relationships in more ways than only just a 2 year recovery period in which things like having to survive things like injuries involving a larger total area of their body leading to often greater susceptibility to viruses and bacterial infection sepsis to cope with for several weeks with the need for antibiotic too whereupon the person's central hearing and their connective soft tissue must heal after that too. If the person suffering from the trauma healing process doesn't understand and/or if the people around them do not understand what they are coping with that can for sure contribute to the person developing on top of everything else a mental illness like a major depression with delusion like symptoms too. What complicates things a lot more is when the trauma included injury from microwave weaponry which has not always been detected in an area by military personnel in the past. On top of it all sometimes former service men who were diagnosed with PTSD and a mental illness too are often taken advantage of by people who see them as being a softer target since the courts are filled with corrupt agents who make money on defending people with the mental illness excuse which makes it much harder for honest caring people who have experienced trauma to cope because of the resulting from that corruption stigma. Family members trying to help someone in the military through the average 2 year length of time healing process and readjustment to any resulting permanent disability too needs support as care givers too. There are other forms of trauma too that requires just as much need for support. Like trauma suffered during gang stalking.
Dissociation is about integrating (of alters/parts) not grounding, but you must get the client at a stage were they are ready to hear the truth of were there trauma came from. The body intentionally hides the trauma to protect the person, to ignore it and focus on the core/host/presenter (who is unaware) does not heal the pain, it avoids the pain. The medical field really needs to get better, at understand and providing help, for people with DID and other forms of dissociation. Were still using methods which trigger clients, making trauma worse or we avoid alters/parts all together never getting any resolution of the trauma.
There are many different forms of dissociation and most of them do not involve alters. Depersonalization and derealization are 2 examples in which grounding is most effective
The traumatic event has passed and no real danger continues? Really, I dont agree. Society in general does not accept the fact that the actions of parents can be significantly damaging to their children. I the USA there probably has been a shift in the past 10-20 years or so, also in Norway and some other places, but in many places in the World it is not accepted. Therefore societal norms often push people in the direction of relationships that are harmful. I probably have a very very mild form of cPTSD. From everything that I have learned and experienced first hand: Emotional triggeres are there to protect us in the future from things/events/bahavior that is similar to that which we have experienced, that can harm us. Emotional abuse has the ability to destroy the self, if exposed too long: I saw it happen to my mother (schizofrenic), my friend (cPTSD, anxiety disorder with depression). In many cases when cPTSD is from childhood, the individual may not remember the damaging events. I did a lot of work to find out that an event that happened and from which I only remember one part, included my father trying to strangle my mother.... My emotional triggers from father started to be very markant, when I was an adult after he began to be verbally aggressive toward me. Triggered emotions many times have a function. For me Eg. covert aggression (described so well by George Simon in his books) from anyone causes me to feel some anxiety/fear and when I think about it, I realize it reminds me of my narc father's behavior - Its a warning signal - BEWARE of this person, because he is capable of such toxic behavior. Society and even some therapists refuse to see this and many times the trauma is NOT remembered, so it is not obvious why it is happening.
Subscribed I have PTSD and anxiety,
Thanks you guys! Very informative indeed
Ty Med Circle...Thank You Kyle i need and Love your Videos,, i love DrR, Christina too Ty..
All of these meeting / discussions are so enlightening 😊😊😊
🌷🌷🌷 What a great channel 💚
I feel like my therapist pushes me too hard. I don't have trauma but I have a hard time opening up. He said that therapy is a two way street and that I also need to try. I agree, but I dunno I felt like I was trying
Hey Anon, if I’m being honest, I’m not a therapist, but it seems like your therapist is only using a helpful/ beneficial technique to try and help you open up a tiny bit more, which would ultimately help you heal in the end.
If you really do think he’s a bad guy, then by all means find a new one. But I also want you to try and give him the benefit of the doubt and think about every single different way through his expertise that he’s trying to help you, you know?
I know you can do this, we believe in you!!!
It takes a while to open up. I had a similar issue, I don't really understand what technique my therapist used, but it brought me closer to my inner self let's say. (as I was fully detached from my feelings) Don't rush/pressure yourself and follow the course of the therapy. If it doesn't help then maybe the techniques your therapist uses don't work on you. Be honest in your feedback that could help your therapist to change his/her approach.
I say trust your feelings. A therapist needs to reach you where you are, not guilt trip you to do something you don't feel (trust). I'd try another therapist.
I think I have symptoms of this but can’t remember anything from the past couple months. I worry that I’ve done something to someone else at times. Other times I wonder if I have a couple diff personalities bc I cannot remember certain things people tell me I’ve done. Basically my short term memory lacks but I remember every little thing from my past.
I hope you're doing okay now. I know I have different "sides" but haven't been diagnosed with d.i.d. CPTSD also has a lot in common with Borderline personality disorder, which I also have 🤦🏻♀️
Can ptsd or cptsd cause a person to be irritable and get angry quickly just by every day life situations and not by necessarily reminders of past trauma?
I have that, I suddenly exploded at my boyfriend without a real issue. We had a small argument and I was not being myself suddenly.
@@bibtii9691 That's most likely a sign for being triggered. Overwhelming emotions almost alöwys trace back to old stuff in childhood. Even though you are not aware of it - that's the twist. You need to find out. Sometimes the most "ridiculous small" things can have a very strong impact.
the sufferer often doesnt realise its a trigger from the childhood and thinks its the current situation.My ex partner completely failed to recognise this and continually insisted it was my behaviour that was the problem.
Yes. Check out Tim Fletcher's UA-cam videos
@@alexandrugheorghe5610 h'es a jesus freak
Thank you very much! I love your channel so much🙏💚
Thank you so much for this
EXCELLENT!!! Thank you!
Discovered your channel with the video with my fav psychiatrist dr Tracy Marks, fell in love with your content, your concept! Please keep it up
This is such a helpful video. I have had many traumatic events. I was diagnosed with PTSD at 15 yrs old.I have just started to really see how it effects my 3 yr relationship. I am worried my past trauma will ruin my relationship so I'm always in self protection mode. I'm working on feeling those emotions and pin pointing when that happens. This video is so insightful. Thank you🙏🏻
I'm on the opposite end, i figured out my partner has depression and PTSD some weeks ago. And I have fear I may have triggered it on her again because of normal relationship arguments.
Could we talk for a bit somehow? Share experiences from opposite ends... Maybe give advice. I'm roller coasting between hope and absolute hopelessness
I dunno why I’m crying
Me neither
I am too
cs we can relate; we feel it>da pain
this is so timely. 💛🙇 thankyou.
Thank you for watching 💙
Hi sweetheart I am worried about my daughter she don’t want to go to school she don’t eat or get out of bed she 16 years old she had anxiety in a classes room . She is so smart and beautiful. . She was abused by her father , her father is a convert narcissist her walk out us one year age , thank u
I’m so sorry to hear about this, does she have anyone she can reach out to like a friend or close relative she trusts that can help comfort and talk with her?
OK, got the message.... am watching this on youtube.
Excellent service
Unable to go very far in a relationship...past friendship because of past relationship trauma. I have hyper- arousal and hyper-vigilance.for 22 years
I woke up in the middle of the night in 2003 kn a panic, my heart race, and jumped through a window and almost died and have never been able to describe what happened to me. I was doing drugs but not at the time. I got beat alot as a child. I've had similar experience... sober.
I hope you are doing better ❤🙏❤
Grateful ❤
Thank you so much
Lovely video strength to all victims
I understand EMDR can be dangerous for certain Trauma victims.
I also understand talk therapy doesn't work for all victims of trauma either.
And once an individual has experienced such abuse, weve removed ourselves from Narcissistic family, spouses, friends etc amd we are left in a quarantine filled w unhealthy individuals everywhere.
I don't believe childhood and adulthood trauma can be healed at all.
I believe we learn to live in peace w what weve suffered throughout life, which is all abuse is betrayal trauma in itself.
I also believe it's a mix of trying different therapies out to find what's best for each individual.
I can recommend you today a powerful psychic magician who help me out if you need any help text him on
What'sApp
Its not that EDMR is dangerous,its the wrong timing of it or a poor therapist that may be harmful.
PTSD - post TRAUMAtic stress syndrome.
How do I heal? I have CPTSD from multiple trauma, Anxiety, and Clinically Depressed.I'm 42 and I end up having unhealthy relationships because I let them use me to avoid conflict, fear of rejection.....I know its abuse but I go with it anyway. I am in therapy but she don't care about me healing. My question is, what would take for me to stop making bad choices in a relationships?
I can recommend you today a powerful psychic magician who help me out if you need any help text him
What'sApp
+ 1 9 0 3 3 4 1 9 3 3 9 ....
Loving yourself. The School Of Life has a good video on CPTSD.
Stay single until you can make better choices and have some confidence in yourself so you won't be used again. Fire your therapist there are some awful therapists out there but for the bad ones there are some fantastic ones too. I know you can do this girl
Self and all other relationships
How can I join the intimacy and trauma free seminar just mentioned, please? I am not seeing anything on site about it. Thanks.
Can you do a topic on somatic experiencing as a form of therapy.
Thank you
Whats the difference in dealing with a narcissistic relationship vs the person having their own trama?
I think this was a wonderful video. Thank you 💗
Is a trauma bond an example of cPTSD?
Not a professional, but I think it would qualify.
Check out Tim Fletcher's UA-cam videos on complex PTSD. His series on Re-Parenting is especially enlightening
I need a Dr like this asap! I need help
Your dog is always welcomed
What is the best treatment for CPTSD?
Somatic Experiencing, EMDR, DBT, Brainspotting, Mindfulness meditation, journaling, healthy diet, good sleep, exercise, boundaries, good self care, surrounding yourself with healthy people, psychoeducation are some of the options
I almost die by Batten thanks this why I don't went to work
I'm a normal person that has had alot of self help work and also couseling in the past years and now I'm with someone with ptsd and it has mentally beaten me up it's a rollercoaster ride. What do I do it's hard on me cause there 4 kids also that have these mental health issues. I'm thinking it might be time to let go
Let go. It'll be very painful
TyMed Circle !! your Videos help me so much!! i have not bern able to afford the monthly mrmbership. I am on Fixed ssi income. Ty for letting me hear these..
thx for your video. i would like to know what is the treatment for wife has Truma ?
I dont know if anyone will read this going forward, but my spouse and I had lost our child and since then my wife discussed ptsd with me. She ended up discussing how she cannot be with me right now because she needs to work on herself and work on healing and that I am a reminder of the trauma that happened despite all my efforts to be supportive. She asked me for time and space. Does anyone have any experience or seen anyone get back with a PTSD survivor?
I am in a similar situation, please tell me what happened with you. I hope everything went in a positive direction?
@@mohamed111652 8 months no contact.
@@kernalmasta I am really sorry to hear that I hope you all the best and take care of yourself
@@mohamed111652 I try every day
So sorry, I hope things are better for you now. Some people just seem to break apart. Some go off and start over because the past is just too painful. But I'm not sure what percentage actually get better that way and how many keep repeating damaged patterns. I wish you well, take care of yourself, because that's all you can do.
i had bf who has ptsd,he just broke up with me 2 weeks ago,and i felt devastated bcoz i loved him so much but i felt that he was'nt that sure what he is doing,he broke up with me just bcoz i didnt agree that he cant come home on april we are in long distance relationship been waiting for him for more than 2 yrs.i know he loves me too but i dont understand why he decided to broke up with all of a sudden.im thinking maybe his ptsd has been triggered or what,i wanted to help him and be by on his side during difficult times but i cant do that coz he is so far from me.
I'm going through almost the same situation, but still didn't break up with her. I think I triggered her.
“integrate” … YES!
Question for DR Christina how can we handle childhood trauma from an school group setting to every day working adult life, relationships? I’m living with my wife at home, going to work every day. I went from being physically beaten up by other students in a class behind me with the wrong groups in the school setting in between school,home with a disability , growing up from being traumatized to every day life,work, getting over my father in law’s passing too. any support groups closer to Napa or in Napa? I came out of an every day comedy past relationship with every day humor, I can’t take a joke from a past relationship how can be supportive to my current wife now my childhood family friend passed away from PTSD, I’m looking for childhood trauma support groups
Sometimes it all gets too overwhelming
I love your videos
I have been diagnosed with PTSD I get very many symptoms. Mostly wanting revenge. IM furious about everything that had happened to my GRANDAUGHTER murder and the way I was treated and all the SHIT that has happened to my loved ones I IM F...ING PISSED. And IM old
Need more information if someone can have more than one or two disorders? 🧐The question was not dies she but can people.
Yup. Cptsd also has a lot of similarities to borderline personality disorder and people can have both. I know I do. 🤦🏻♀️
I have insurance and I can’t find a therapist to save my life. Hope her organization works on that too.
Hello is a way can try tell my story before I try again to not keep on going I'm so tired but I need to try hard one more time ,
Please
I have PTSD n I'm bi polor ADHD n I want to know why I get defensive when I don't have to n get things mixed up n lie with out realizing I'm doing it how do I stop