I'm 58 and only broke my addiction to food 1.5 years ago, only to hear in this interview that food was a viable coping skill. Now I know why I writh in angst most of my waking hours trying to figure out how to cope and adapt.
Such an important topic! I really hope this episode helps. Please Like the video (and subscribe) if you found it useful. Lots more videos like this to come. Thanks so much for your support. Alex ❤
I broke down crying, sitting on the floor, first time in years, the reason: an unknown lady told off my three months old puppy for try to get close to her. Okay she was rude in her wording, but at the same time she might have been scared of dogs. Still I felt so hurt by that, as the owner/ partner of that puppy. Still hurts a few years on
I liked it up to when she said in response to the user comment about his pain of rejection “ I don’t take it personally, I don’t rely on friends for validation “. 😮 gosh I thought she understood it was not voluntary or rational. She might all well have said “oh well grow up, it’s not about you”… Alex tried to save it. I think I would have preferred to hear Alex here. Very wise young man.
I understand what you mean, but she is coming from a healed perspective. I have been working on this for a long time, and I am no longer as triggered by rejection. Once you start to understand yourself better, you are able to navigate rejection a lot easier. It’s not rational at all, and it’s certainly not your fault, but when you are able to understand the trigger, it does lessen. It’s a very long process. You are triggered by her comment because in a way, you perceive that she is rejecting the struggles you have. We are constantly misunderstood, and you are reacting to feeling misunderstood by her. This is her whole point, really. The more you stop seeking external validation, the less you are hurt by rejection and criticism.
38:44 A comment on living in the wild being great for ADHD. I was homeless for a year, and though it was emotionally and physically stressful, it was one of the best times of my life. I found an accepting community, and we all helped each other to survive. There was no judgement. No worries of bills or losing your house. Just find food and shelter and keep yourself and friends as safe as possible. This isn't a usual reaction to being homeless, most people I met on the street really needed some emotional support and were miserable. But for me, I have fond memories, and I'm pretty sure that's an ADHD thing ❤
“With great power, comes great responsibility “. So empowering. I have always thought my strong emotions make me weak when in fact the ability to feel is a powerful tool for navigating through life. I simply need to learn to control and use them appropriately.
I can tell you how I finally accepted a way to deal with rejection. I watched a video in which old people were asked for their life advice. Almost all of them said to care less if at all about what others think of you. If someone makes no effort to contact or associate with me, they are dropped; that includes employers who promise much and deliver nothing. Since adopting a ‘couldn’t care less’ attitiude, I have found that I mainly have only the people who actually do care around me.
Totally agree: I am taking this approach to my life now too. The art of not giving a F. Life is too short and precious to waste on people not worth my time and effort.
Many of us can’t just adopt a different attitude. Feelings don’t always yield to resolutions, because they don’t operate rationally. It takes some people a lot of work on themselves to reach that point. It can take years. If you were able to just make that happen, good on you; but for others, that’s just denial, and it doesn’t work.
@Historian212 I spent nearly 5 years alone, working on myself during my early 20s. Arguably the "best" years of my life. Alone. Celibate. I lived with my parents, was going to school, joined a gym, working 2 jobs, and had nothing but 2 friends and my animals. I was my happiest when I quit those 2 jobs, moved away to go to a different school, and was living alone. I met someone when I stopped looking and we just got married after almost 10 years together. All I did was start living my life for ME. No one else is in your body but you. No one else has to live with the consequences of your choices but you. Do what makes you happy. If you hate your job, change it. If you want a milkshake, get one. If you want pink hair, dye it. I can't give advice for how to deal with other's criticism because I am here too 😂 But I can say I was happy once and that's why. I am here now because college broke my brain and I am now struggling with the realization that I have been undiagnosed with adhd for 37 yrs now.
I have friends who tell me to reach out, but I think if I did, they’d be done with me. It’s a very isolating, lonely place to be when RSD flares. Ugh 😩 So I don’t bother. I ride it out alone. My partner is the logical one, and she’s probably the only person who can deal with me, and whom I feel and know won’t just walk away. I really think others would. And I really don’t want to burden others with my issues, my dysregulated emotions, etc. So I isolate until the storms pass.
I dont talk to most of my family at all and dont open up to the ones i do speak to. Theres no safe place for feelings in my circle, especially for men.
@Freedom_Prof It's like when people ask, "How are you?" but they don't actually want you to tell the truth (or care)...just say, "I'm good, thank you, and yourself?" (like a robot) as opposed to saying how you REALLY feel like your world has been turned upside down and you're losing your will to live. "Call me anytime" really means (or at least I feel) "call me if you're doing well because I can't handle any 'negative' talk".
Yes, and it's also important to recognize that trauma can make trust difficult, such that we constantly look out for people to hurt us, and when we find them it confirms this bias.
I appreciate the updated conversation happening in this vid. We must look at neurobiology, both in how we started life with neurodivergent CNS wiring and how said wiring was impacted by the social determinants of health and humiliation/alienation in NT dominated environments, such as schools, all along the way. This one of the few, rare moments where an expert describes the relationship between emotional flooding, triggers and a CNS that is operating in a PTSD way. A lot of us do have the acquired brain injury of PTSD alongside an already similarly functioning CNS just given we are over represented in populations of intimate partner violence survivors and CA. I take off label medications for CPTSD and these have resolved some of the struggle associated with living with AuDHD. Our pain can be languageless, alienating and isolating. Look at how adults living with these traits experienced school. As a 70's baby, I was exposed to devastating harms in the school system. Workplaces have not been so easy, either.
@kathyw348 I'm on 300mg Sertraline, 450 Wellbutrin, AM/PM Pregablin, 7.5mg Mirtazapine and 15mg Prazosin. To this, recently have added 28mg Concerta. Not sure yet about it. Just came off Vyvanse to try it. The stimulants are helping, but there are draw backs, such as struggling to eat and overwhelming hyper focus. The other meds all really help. Mirtz for sleep and Prazosin for night terrors.
Amazing thank you I was miss diagnosed with bipolar but after 10 years of wrong meds and working through issues I was diagnosed ADHD and child hood trauma Your video has help me understand the worst part of my behaviour and how I effect my life
This is just an invaluable discussion. I knew i had some issues 😂 but now i actually know that its RSD. I'm really really grateful for this. Thank you. 💛
Understanding people are too interested in themselves. And they are less respectful and more init for themselves. If someone is being disrespectful it's just because they are not thinking about other people's feelings. And are just saying or doing what suits them. If people show disrespect they lack respect.
This is a great discussion, only it has set my mind off on a number of past depressive spirals which have been with me most of my life…….. I’ll have to finish listening to it at a later time.
Attempting to solely THINK oneself out of RSD is a fool’s errand !!! I need to engage in a Somatic type practice FIRST to interrupt the RSD train. I do breath-work THEN my thinking is better able to access all the therapy CBT DTA ACT BS etc
This is such a great and fascinating discussion. I suspect I have adhd and am looking into getting tested. Rejection hits me hard and I tend to be very critical of myself. Thank you for the great information!
there's quite a few online diagnosis tools that may be of help to you. That's how I found out... ADHD rating scale (one word) is a widely used one. It links up as a report to the Dr that you choose it sent to and it takes 5 minutes max. Best of luck to you!@@karagrant5778
With in the first 8 mins you said something that I could relate to having been through this week. Thank you for putting the info out there, helps people like me understand myself and learn how to manage it so I don’t lose a very special person x
This is one of the best videos i have watched in a very long time, it hit close to home….or work actually…….I wish I would have watched this a long time ago….lol
I just stopped caring - i just wanted so badly to not give 2 shits if someone accepted me or not, so i looked in the mirror and said to myself "I like you Leigh, you are a kind, sensitive, thoughtful and considerate person and I am glad to have you as a friend and that you are with me all the time". After that, i knew that anyone else's opinion of me didn't matter and now when someone tries to upset me, i just laugh and walk away becoz i really just do not care about what such masses of children playing in sandpits at my feet, think about me or do with their little lives...
Wonderful woman! Wonderful interview! Thank you, this is so helpful for me, me having RSD without ADHD. Could you please tell me which helpful gadget she uses during the interview? Thank you so much!
I wrote a poem about my first memory. It was of my dad throwing a plate of food in anger across the room and it breaking and hitting the wall, while we just had to stay silent and keep eating. Even tho we were terrified. It was a plate of spaghetti, and I can still see it on the wall now and I'm 40. I'm afraid all the time now.
I'm 43 now and I still get hung up on my dad leaving when I was 11,its ruined my life,I have no friends, I no longer speak to my mum or my sister,I dont even know how to explain how overwhelmed I still get,I've begged the nhs for help ,had counselling, did cbt, I'd like to speak to a real psychologist but the nhs are rubbish and keep telling me they cant help me,and now even the government are saying depression and anxiety arent real illnesses,I'm just about ready to give up.
I can completely empathise with this and for me, I was 6 and a half when my mother left my father. I am 53 and that hurt, confused, heartbroken child is still present with me daily. Don't give up on trying to get help and I hope you can find a solution in the future. Videos like this can be a very helpful way gain strength and being self aware is a large step in the right direction. Big hugs 🤗
It could be partly that we miss the signs that ppl have already walked away from us and we feel stupid for not realizing it when they make it abundantly clear. Its humalitaning. I think ppl are on some level conscious or unconscious, "eye for an eye" and i think ppl get put off by ppl with adhd or a degree of autism when we say and do things without considering how it may come across b/c for us its jst saying it, getting it out, asserting ourselves versus not saying or asserting ourselves; like it could be a boundary or an opinion and we just off the cuff say something or do something but ppl take it personally and feel the need to return it and must reject us or be rejecting towards us, even if we aren't intending it to be a rejection at all. And we may be about the behavior not the person but that distinction goes unnotiticed; we're trying to do clarity, honesty. Like we think we're so fragile yet ppl will show us they are more fragile or show us what they are about. Its good to know and see. Theres lots of manipulation behavior out there. Its like everyone else can be a way but heaven forbid we are some sort of way. We are forgiving to a fault. so these one-way or ppl who abuse trust... we have to get into the drivers seat and drive away or out of the imbalanced and possibly abusive situation. Thats like accepting the rejection. I've got a list of people ive literally lost, as in they have died, passed away are no longer living And a list of figurative deaths of ppl who just turned or walked or rejected in a passive or aggressive way the brains ability to deal with literally death is difficult it doesn't deal with the sudden change well And you don't want to turn or kill relationship figuratively based on the feelings of the actual death if someone we love and care about But then its normal I guess, to not go thru phases with ppl and really at a certain age you can't look for friendship society says it must be a relationship but that doesn't align and so most ppl are looking for sex or romantic relationship and your trying to do friendship, you will get rejected. There is a "traum brain" and a way we harden our hearts and ppl in a normal state, WILL NOT GET IT. Even counselors. We all meet ppl as we are but some ppl are more flexible Nerou divergent means we operate, think outside the normal barriers So we can't see how we may be rejecting to others but we see how they almost become more sensitive then we imagine ourselves to be, in an instant, and ut changes everything forever. We def know that if we don't comply with the "demands" or needs of others they are out. And like we are confused but its a blessing. But i think we are actually way more aware and thats what fucke us up b/c there are movers and shakers that just keep moving on, never stopping, not concerned in the least. Not trying to go deeper in relationships just wanting what they want. Like hearing about loss and experiencing lost are two completely different things. We can see pll dont really care about us as an individual being, they care that we aren't assimilating into our "role" like were meant to or "supposed" to. I know too many words, needs edited and to be short, sweet, to the point, apologies.
I'm Adhd and I have a secure attachment to my mother not really my father and also did have a good secure attachment to my grand parents so just not sure about that bit 😅
I just got blocked from an Instagram account and I don't know why. I did not subscribe as a follower, never commented or liked, just watched the stories and enjoyed the artists journey as I am not an artist at all. So I did not do anything wrong. She even might not know I exist. So the WHY sits so strong in my head. I feel rejected so deeply. I am always so afraid of not beeing valued and beeing rejected that I usually don't interact with others that much. Her blocking me for no reason upsets and hurts me. I don't know what's wrong with her, so I look for the reason of her blocking me by thinking about my actions. I mean I can easily live without her art. So why is it bothering me so much? It makes me sad, it's painful inside and I really struggle handling my feelings. I know it's gonna follow me along for quite a while since I won't get any answer from her. Honestly... it's annoying. This is just one example. People who I know in person even hurt me more and longer by just saying a tiny little thing that triggers my RSD.
I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder however i always believed i was ADHD and BPD was in fashion at the time. The older iget the more I just accept that im wired different however now our child is acting like a child with ADHD and its challenging to say the least.
🎯 Key points for quick navigation: 00:00 *🧠 Understanding Rejection Sensitivity* - The conversation focuses on Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) and how it affects individuals with ADHD. - RSD is often triggered by personal relationships. - People with ADHD might react more intensely to rejections due to past experiences. - The need for emotional regulation is highlighted, particularly in response to perceived criticisms. 10:05 *💔 Emotional Impact of Rejection* - This section delves into the deep emotional wounds associated with rejection and how they can manifest physically. - Reactions to rejection can resemble responses seen in PTSD. - Individuals may internalize their pain, leading to sadness or self-criticism. - The idea of unresolved past traumas resurfacing in reaction to current situations is emphasized. 18:40 *🌱 Managing RSD: Short-term and Long-term Strategies* - Discussion on practical strategies for managing RSD in real-time and through long-term self-work. - Immediate strategies include grounding techniques and seeking support from compassionate friends. - Long-term approaches focus on understanding one's internal narrative and the importance of therapy. - Building self-worth independent of external validation is crucial for resilience. 25:36 *👫 RSD in Romantic Relationships* - This part emphasizes the importance of open communication about RSD within romantic partnerships. - Understanding each partner's emotional processing styles is vital for navigating conflicts. - Sensitivity can be a strength in relationships, enhancing empathy. - Self-awareness and emotional maturity in both partners are key to a successful relationship. 23:59 *💬 Understanding Relationships and Sensitivity* - Relationships require open communication and maturity. - Acknowledging that individuals with ADHD often feel like they are "too much" and may hide parts of themselves. - Emphasizing the importance of self-awareness in conflicts and contributions to relational pain. 27:19 *🔄 Hormonal Influences on Emotional Responses* - Hormonal changes affect how individuals perceive and react to criticism. - Women's emotional states fluctuate through menstrual cycles, impacting vulnerability. - Men's daily testosterone levels influence their ability to handle stress and criticism. 30:44 *🍷 Impact of Lifestyle Choices on Rejection Sensitivity* - Alcohol consumption negatively affects emotional regulation and stress response. - Poor sleep from drinking worsens mood and increases susceptibility to RSD episodes. - Context matters, including frequency of alcohol use and support systems available for recovery. 34:24 *⚖️ Distinguishing Reactions to Criticism* - Recognizing when reactions to criticism are justified versus irrational. - Individuals may externalize anger towards innocents, leading to shame and self-reflection. - Self-awareness and internal questioning are crucial for managing emotions effectively. 37:11 *🌳 The Role of Environment in Managing ADHD* - Nature and a low-stress environment can alleviate ADHD symptoms and RSD. - Research indicates reduced ADHD traits when individuals spend time disconnected from daily stressors. - Mindfulness about stress can improve emotional navigation and overall well-being. 40:24 *🧠 Relationships and Self-Esteem Dynamics* - Sensitivity to rejection often stems from externalizing self-esteem validation. - The need for external approval makes individuals sensitive to perceived rejections. - Awareness and personal growth help manage reactions, turning perceived rejections into learning opportunities. Made with HARPA AI
Trying to date as a man with RSD is extremely challenging. Most guys are going to get a lot less interest from women anyway so then you have to be the one to approach, and due to the fact that you already fear and feel rejected by default, it becomes extremely challenging. Plus the fact that you fear a negative response it ends up becoming a self fulfilling prophesy.
This is really intense, it confuses me because i had a breakup where i was rejected in a very strange way and over a year now i can’t coop with it. I still want to believe it was real because it is the first time in my life i had it this intense.
Perhaps if you're really ADHD the partner increased your dopamine and you developed a type of addiction to the person. If your logic tells you it was not the most beneficial rlshp yet you still want to be there, consider if you need to break the addiction.
@@abwhitaker425 i have no clue why i have this. First time in my life and the only thing that happend for this feeling was just she opening the door and Not even one word was said. This meeting happend before we actually became a couple and it was over 2 years ago. It doesn’t make sense to me anymore.
Is it weird that I interact with people I know that are not good at communication while I'm still learning better communication skills just to be ok with rejection?
PS which reminds me: the only time my brain feels calm, litteraly "zen-like" is after about 4 days of fasting when it starts fueling on ketones instead of leaching sugar from the already minimal amounts of natural carbs I consume.
🎯 Key points for quick navigation: 00:00 *💭 Understanding Rejection Sensitivity in ADHD* - Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) is a common experience among individuals with ADHD that can lead to profound emotional reactions. - RSD often stems from relational and personal experiences, leading to heightened sensitivity to perceived rejections. - The degree of emotional reaction can vary based on individual background and the context of the rejection. 10:00 *🌱 Factors Contributing to RSD* - Rejection sensitivity can be exacerbated by environmental factors such as childhood relationships and attachment styles. - Many individuals with ADHD struggle with insecure attachments due to both genetic and environmental factors, impacting emotional regulation. - Emotional dysregulation is often linked to the inability to process past traumas effectively, resulting in maladaptive coping strategies. 20:00 *⚡ Managing Emotional Responses to Rejection* - Immediate strategies to cope with RSD include grounding techniques to bring awareness back to the present moment during emotional dysregulation. - Long-term management includes self-reflection and therapy to address the internalized beliefs contributing to emotional pain linked to rejection. - Building self-worth independent of external validation is essential for long-lasting coping mechanisms. 30:00 *❤️ Navigating Relationships with RSD* - Open communication about RSD early in relationships can foster understanding and compassion between partners. - Recognizing that sensitivity can be both a challenge and a strength is crucial for maintaining a healthy relationship dynamic. - Developing emotional maturity and self-awareness in both partners is vital to effectively manage conflict and stress within the relationship. 24:27 *💬 Navigating Relationship Sensitivity* - Relationships can invoke micro-conflicts that require mature communication. - Importance of self-awareness and personal growth in managing conflicts. - Sensitive individuals, especially those with ADHD, may perceive things differently, aiding empathy but also requiring emotional management. 27:17 *🌱 Biological Cycles Impacting Emotions* - Hormonal cycles significantly influence how individuals react to criticism and rejection. - Women's emotional state fluctuates throughout the menstrual cycle, while men's testosterone levels change daily. - Understanding these cycles can help in better managing emotions during challenging times. 30:01 *🍷 Alcohol's Effect on Emotional Regulation* - Alcohol consumption adversely affects sleep quality and emotional resilience. - Impaired deep sleep results in decreased ability to handle stress and mood fluctuations. - Regular consumption can lead to a cycle of emotional instability and poor handling of rejection. 34:21 *🧠 Distinguishing Reactions to Rejection* - Differentiating between justified and irrational reactions to criticism is crucial. - Self-awareness and emotional regulation skills help in managing responses during rejection. - Reflecting on internal voices can assist in understanding emotional triggers and responses. 37:07 *🌳 The Impact of Environment on ADHD* - Natural environments can significantly reduce ADHD symptoms and emotional stress. - Unplugging from daily stressors can foster patience and emotional stability. - Recognizing the role of environmental factors is essential for managing ADHD effectively. 41:45 *💔 Handling Social Rejection* - Reliance on external validation can lead to heightened sensitivity to rejection. - Developing self-awareness and emotional maturity can help one cope with perceived rejections. - Viewing rejection as an opportunity for personal growth rather than a failure can transform experiences. Made with HARPA AI
So much ❤ Thanks for being REAL and you! and fuck rsd! I’m in the middle of dating right now and it sucks but it’s true that the best thing you can do is just say fuck it. So fuck it I’m dating right now! 😅
RSD can make me feel physically sick. I also get very bad eczema on my hands and fingers, related to it All those who think it's trendy to have ADHD .. it fkn isn't. Not when you REALLY have it
Such a shame. My sensitivity is in that place where I dont even lets say go to my husband to have sexy time, when I want to. Because the fear of rejection is such a great thing, that well... Sex? Not for me. Still thinking he secretly hates me, thinks i am ugly etc. Leading to arguments where I blame him for not wanting sex with me. He saying Well If you want Sex, you can reach out for that. And theres my RSD-wall. Background. My Mom was a real slut, i had to see things as a child. So sex is kind of a tabu theme for me, i dont even want to want to have sexual needs. Later i have been sexually abused. So...how do i get out of this?
Realise you are worthy of feeling what you feel while not allowing the past to rob your present. Why pay Twice for anything, you've went through it, you shouldn't have to pay for it again.
50/50 on this one...lots of repetitive terms of "maturity and emotional intelligence" aimed towards women I think... as I click off she's on menstrual cycles...
The idea that God is good because disadvantages are balanced by advantages is absurdly delusional. Try telling that to an armless toddler in Gaza as they slowly starve to death in a tent orphanage. If a person can believe that, we have to assume they will believe whatever makes them comfortable regardless of the obvious facts, and are not a credible source of advice.
I have to disagree. RSD is NOT learned behaviour. RSD is underdeveloped "circuitry". The systems that process emotion are already malfunctioning, so any emotional event that is experienced will occur via that malfunction. This is most important to understand - this means that we carry emotional traumas from events that would not ordinarily be traumatic for neurotypical people, as well as any that would be. Consequently the deepest and most traumatic events can be a harsh word, spoken suddenly and unexpectedly by someone previously believed to be safe. Or sudden and unexpected violence. Which is not to say that if the parental figure also has emotional dysregulation, which would almost certainly mean undiagnosed/unmedicated, that this wouldn't also be a contributory factor to the way RSD affects the child, but the child would still experience it through their own RSD. ADHD is an acronym that covers a particular set of symptoms which are found to be associated by similarity of reported experiences. It's been observed that people from all over the world who find themselves living with actual narcissists use the same words when talking about the things said to them and the things done to them. The same goes for ADHD. People from all over the world who have ADHD use the same words to describe their experiences, pretty much. It's extremely unlikely that this could be happening by chance. A set of symptoms that persist across gender, ethnicity, faith, upbringing, and nationality. Doesn't matter whether you live in a tiny community in the middle of nowhere, or in a mega-city. Doesn't matter whether you're rich or poor, employed or unemployed, manual labourer or white collar worker, farmer or factory worker. It's the same symptoms and we mostly talk about it the same way. It being a thing that affects humans, which we all are, and yeah, yeah, yeah, all that visual diversity, but we're way closer than we realise. One very common statement from people who have just found some online space where everyone has ADHD is, "I've never told anyone about these thoughts and the way I described these issues I've had, to myself, and now here's all these people using the same words." The flip side to RSD should be called Acceptance Sensitive Euphoria. That even the smallest act of kindness or recognition triggers a massive rush of euphoric emotions. These generally don't last as long as those triggered by RSD. The aftermath of one of these events is often a sense of bleakness, as normal levels of brain chemicals resume. In puberty, and onwards if not recognised/understood, this can lead to assuming that "falling in love" is taking place, and all manner of heartbreaks and sorrow ensue, which the RSD makes traumatic. Personally speaking, the euphoric events are worse, because of the sure and certain knowledge that it won't last and life will be horrible afterwards, for a while. Every step of this, whether euphoric or dysphoric, is Emotional Dysregulation, that is part of ADHD. We don't learn to be ADHD, we're born this way.
When people tell me I’m “too”sensitive I now see it as them calling themselves out on their own “lack” of sensitivity
Literally cried when she said see someone calling you sensitive as a compliment and not criticism
I'm 58 and only broke my addiction to food 1.5 years ago, only to hear in this interview that food was a viable coping skill. Now I know why I writh in angst most of my waking hours trying to figure out how to cope and adapt.
It took me twelve years to manage food as sugar was my vice.
Such an important topic! I really hope this episode helps. Please Like the video (and subscribe) if you found it useful. Lots more videos like this to come. Thanks so much for your support. Alex ❤
Great UA-cam channel as always interesting and informative interview Thankyou ❤
I’ve been triggered by complete strangers snapping at me. I still feel it years later
And me snapping at people! I feel it for a long time.
I broke down crying, sitting on the floor, first time in years, the reason: an unknown lady told off my three months old puppy for try to get close to her. Okay she was rude in her wording, but at the same time she might have been scared of dogs. Still I felt so hurt by that, as the owner/ partner of that puppy. Still hurts a few years on
Me too
I liked it up to when she said in response to the user comment about his pain of rejection “ I don’t take it personally, I don’t rely on friends for validation “. 😮 gosh I thought she understood it was not voluntary or rational. She might all well have said “oh well grow up, it’s not about you”… Alex tried to save it. I think I would have preferred to hear Alex here. Very wise young man.
I understand what you mean, but she is coming from a healed perspective. I have been working on this for a long time, and I am no longer as triggered by rejection. Once you start to understand yourself better, you are able to navigate rejection a lot easier. It’s not rational at all, and it’s certainly not your fault, but when you are able to understand the trigger, it does lessen. It’s a very long process. You are triggered by her comment because in a way, you perceive that she is rejecting the struggles you have. We are constantly misunderstood, and you are reacting to feeling misunderstood by her. This is her whole point, really. The more you stop seeking external validation, the less you are hurt by rejection and criticism.
38:44 A comment on living in the wild being great for ADHD. I was homeless for a year, and though it was emotionally and physically stressful, it was one of the best times of my life. I found an accepting community, and we all helped each other to survive. There was no judgement. No worries of bills or losing your house. Just find food and shelter and keep yourself and friends as safe as possible. This isn't a usual reaction to being homeless, most people I met on the street really needed some emotional support and were miserable. But for me, I have fond memories, and I'm pretty sure that's an ADHD thing ❤
This has been such a helpful validating discussion to hear & has helped me understand so much about my experiences of RSD. Thankyou 🙏
“With great power, comes great responsibility “. So empowering. I have always thought my strong emotions make me weak when in fact the ability to feel is a powerful tool for navigating through life. I simply need to learn to control and use them appropriately.
I can tell you how I finally accepted a way to deal with rejection. I watched a video in which old people were asked for their life advice. Almost all of them said to care less if at all about what others think of you. If someone makes no effort to contact or associate with me, they are dropped; that includes employers who promise much and deliver nothing. Since adopting a ‘couldn’t care less’ attitiude, I have found that I mainly have only the people who actually do care around me.
Totally agree: I am taking this approach to my life now too. The art of not giving a F. Life is too short and precious to waste on people not worth my time and effort.
Many of us can’t just adopt a different attitude. Feelings don’t always yield to resolutions, because they don’t operate rationally. It takes some people a lot of work on themselves to reach that point. It can take years. If you were able to just make that happen, good on you; but for others, that’s just denial, and it doesn’t work.
@@Historian212 you have choices. make the choices you can and move on from those you won’t.
@Historian212 I spent nearly 5 years alone, working on myself during my early 20s. Arguably the "best" years of my life. Alone. Celibate. I lived with my parents, was going to school, joined a gym, working 2 jobs, and had nothing but 2 friends and my animals. I was my happiest when I quit those 2 jobs, moved away to go to a different school, and was living alone. I met someone when I stopped looking and we just got married after almost 10 years together. All I did was start living my life for ME. No one else is in your body but you. No one else has to live with the consequences of your choices but you. Do what makes you happy. If you hate your job, change it. If you want a milkshake, get one. If you want pink hair, dye it. I can't give advice for how to deal with other's criticism because I am here too 😂 But I can say I was happy once and that's why. I am here now because college broke my brain and I am now struggling with the realization that I have been undiagnosed with adhd for 37 yrs now.
I don't have any friends I can call. And I don't know anyone compassionate except my therapist. Just a call out to all us lonely people out there!
I read this and teared up. I feel that on a deep level ❤
I have friends who tell me to reach out, but I think if I did, they’d be done with me. It’s a very isolating, lonely place to be when RSD flares. Ugh 😩 So I don’t bother. I ride it out alone. My partner is the logical one, and she’s probably the only person who can deal with me, and whom I feel and know won’t just walk away. I really think others would. And I really don’t want to burden others with my issues, my dysregulated emotions, etc. So I isolate until the storms pass.
I dont talk to most of my family at all and dont open up to the ones i do speak to. Theres no safe place for feelings in my circle, especially for men.
@Freedom_Prof It's like when people ask, "How are you?" but they don't actually want you to tell the truth (or care)...just say, "I'm good, thank you, and yourself?" (like a robot) as opposed to saying how you REALLY feel like your world has been turned upside down and you're losing your will to live. "Call me anytime" really means (or at least I feel) "call me if you're doing well because I can't handle any 'negative' talk".
@@ShaunaMarieG 100% it does. I'm dealing with this today.
I'm saving this video cause I'm gonna have to view this several times
be careful who you tell you are sensitive, one could be gas lit because of it.
Yes! Exactly what my x did to me!
@@RenTheWrenyou've got that right
Yes, and it's also important to recognize that trauma can make trust difficult, such that we constantly look out for people to hurt us, and when we find them it confirms this bias.
Absolutely 👍🏻
I appreciate the updated conversation happening in this vid. We must look at neurobiology, both in how we started life with neurodivergent CNS wiring and how said wiring was impacted by the social determinants of health and humiliation/alienation in NT dominated environments, such as schools, all along the way. This one of the few, rare moments where an expert describes the relationship between emotional flooding, triggers and a CNS that is operating in a PTSD way. A lot of us do have the acquired brain injury of PTSD alongside an already similarly functioning CNS just given we are over represented in populations of intimate partner violence survivors and CA. I take off label medications for CPTSD and these have resolved some of the struggle associated with living with AuDHD. Our pain can be languageless, alienating and isolating. Look at how adults living with these traits experienced school. As a 70's baby, I was exposed to devastating harms in the school system. Workplaces have not been so easy, either.
Can you please say what off label meds you take for CPTSD? I have this and ADHD and am so sensitive to all the meds over the years. @TibiSum
@kathyw348 I'm on 300mg Sertraline, 450 Wellbutrin, AM/PM Pregablin, 7.5mg Mirtazapine and 15mg Prazosin. To this, recently have added 28mg Concerta. Not sure yet about it. Just came off Vyvanse to try it. The stimulants are helping, but there are draw backs, such as struggling to eat and overwhelming hyper focus. The other meds all really help. Mirtz for sleep and Prazosin for night terrors.
Amazing thank you I was miss diagnosed with bipolar but after 10 years of wrong meds and working through issues I was diagnosed ADHD and child hood trauma
Your video has help me understand the worst part of my behaviour and how I effect my life
I’ve lived like this all my life 55 now
Right behind you at 53. Positive ADHD Vibes to you.
This is just an invaluable discussion. I knew i had some issues 😂 but now i actually know that its RSD. I'm really really grateful for this. Thank you. 💛
This conversation was brilliant. Thank you both! So much to learn from it!
Thank you so much!
Understanding people are too interested in themselves. And they are less respectful and more init for themselves. If someone is being disrespectful it's just because they are not thinking about other people's feelings. And are just saying or doing what suits them. If people show disrespect they lack respect.
This is a great discussion, only it has set my mind off on a number of past depressive spirals which have been with me most of my life……..
I’ll have to finish listening to it at a later time.
So insightful. Great guest/expert.
Attempting to solely THINK oneself out of RSD is a fool’s errand !!! I need to engage in a Somatic type practice FIRST to interrupt the RSD train. I do breath-work THEN my thinking is better able to access all the therapy CBT DTA ACT BS etc
This is such a great and fascinating discussion. I suspect I have adhd and am looking into getting tested. Rejection hits me hard and I tend to be very critical of myself. Thank you for the great information!
Thanks for your kind words!
@@RenTheWren thank you! I really appreciate it. :)
@@ADHD_Chatter_Podcast of course!
there's quite a few online diagnosis tools that may be of help to you.
That's how I found out...
ADHD rating scale (one word) is a widely used one. It links up as a report to the Dr that you choose it sent to and it takes 5 minutes max.
Best of luck to you!@@karagrant5778
Interesting one! I love almost every video! Great format and great interviewer!
Wow, thank you!
Shame about the mic in a sock sound issue for him/you but the message is clear enouth. Thankyou. I'm learning to forgive myself for my sketchyness.
Best episode so far.
Such a good conversation.
Truly insightful and helpful - thank you.
With in the first 8 mins you said something that I could relate to having been through this week. Thank you for putting the info out there, helps people like me understand myself and learn how to manage it so I don’t lose a very special person x
This is one of the best videos i have watched in a very long time, it hit close to home….or work actually…….I wish I would have watched this a long time ago….lol
Wow I simply adore her. What a lovely smart and inspiring woman ❤
We need more attention on women like HER!!!
My partner told me early on about RSD, so I always put into account that what he is experiencing is caused by RSD.
Being so caught up in labels can cause us to get lost in a maze!
Someone else feel that pain literally in the body ?
I just stopped caring - i just wanted so badly to not give 2 shits if someone accepted me or not, so i looked in the mirror and said to myself "I like you Leigh, you are a kind, sensitive, thoughtful and considerate person and I am glad to have you as a friend and that you are with me all the time".
After that, i knew that anyone else's opinion of me didn't matter and now when someone tries to upset me, i just laugh and walk away becoz i really just do not care about what such masses of children playing in sandpits at my feet, think about me or do with their little lives...
Wonderful woman! Wonderful interview! Thank you, this is so helpful for me, me having RSD without ADHD. Could you please tell me which helpful gadget she uses during the interview? Thank you so much!
Wow she gets it! Very important information
I wrote a poem about my first memory. It was of my dad throwing a plate of food in anger across the room and it breaking and hitting the wall, while we just had to stay silent and keep eating. Even tho we were terrified. It was a plate of spaghetti, and I can still see it on the wall now and I'm 40.
I'm afraid all the time now.
I'm 43 now and I still get hung up on my dad leaving when I was 11,its ruined my life,I have no friends, I no longer speak to my mum or my sister,I dont even know how to explain how overwhelmed I still get,I've begged the nhs for help ,had counselling, did cbt, I'd like to speak to a real psychologist but the nhs are rubbish and keep telling me they cant help me,and now even the government are saying depression and anxiety arent real illnesses,I'm just about ready to give up.
Don't give up. Do you live in your own personal space where you can let your nervous system feel safe?
I can completely empathise with this and for me, I was 6 and a half when my mother left my father. I am 53 and that hurt, confused, heartbroken child is still present with me daily. Don't give up on trying to get help and I hope you can find a solution in the future. Videos like this can be a very helpful way gain strength and being self aware is a large step in the right direction. Big hugs 🤗
Don't give up❤ God loves you
Your voice is in tune with my adhd. ✌🏼🌍
great video. I loved listening to Samantha. TY.
I loved this. Now I have a few new tools to try ❤
It could be partly that we miss the signs that ppl have already walked away from us and we feel stupid for not realizing it when they make it abundantly clear. Its humalitaning.
I think ppl are on some level conscious or unconscious, "eye for an eye"
and i think ppl get put off by ppl with adhd or a degree of autism when we say and do things without considering how it may come across b/c for us its jst saying it, getting it out, asserting ourselves versus not saying or asserting ourselves; like it could be a boundary or an opinion and we just off the cuff say something or do something but ppl take it personally and feel the need to return it and must reject us or be rejecting towards us, even if we aren't intending it to be a rejection at all. And we may be about the behavior not the person but that distinction goes unnotiticed; we're trying to do clarity, honesty.
Like we think we're so fragile yet ppl will show us they are more fragile or show us what they are about. Its good to know and see.
Theres lots of manipulation behavior out there.
Its like everyone else can be a way but heaven forbid we are some sort of way.
We are forgiving to a fault.
so these one-way or ppl who abuse trust... we have to get into the drivers seat and drive away or out of the imbalanced and possibly abusive situation.
Thats like accepting the rejection.
I've got a list of people ive literally lost, as in they have died, passed away are no longer living
And a list of figurative deaths of ppl who just turned or walked or rejected in a passive or aggressive way
the brains ability to deal with literally death is difficult it doesn't deal with the sudden change well
And you don't want to turn or kill relationship figuratively based on the feelings of the actual death if someone we love and care about
But then its normal I guess, to not go thru phases with ppl and really at a certain age you can't look for friendship society says it must be a relationship but that doesn't align and so most ppl are looking for sex or romantic relationship and your trying to do friendship, you will get rejected.
There is a "traum brain" and a way we harden our hearts and ppl in a normal state, WILL NOT GET IT. Even counselors.
We all meet ppl as we are but some ppl are more flexible
Nerou divergent means we operate, think outside the normal barriers
So we can't see how we may be rejecting to others but we see how they almost become more sensitive then we imagine ourselves to be, in an instant, and ut changes everything forever.
We def know that if we don't comply with the "demands" or needs of others they are out.
And like we are confused but its a blessing.
But i think we are actually way more aware and thats what fucke us up b/c there are movers and shakers that just keep moving on, never stopping, not concerned in the least. Not trying to go deeper in relationships just wanting what they want.
Like hearing about loss and experiencing lost are two completely different things.
We can see pll dont really care about us as an individual being, they care that we aren't assimilating into our "role" like were meant to or "supposed" to.
I know too many words, needs edited and to be short, sweet, to the point, apologies.
I'm Adhd and I have a secure attachment to my mother not really my father and also did have a good secure attachment to my grand parents so just not sure about that bit 😅
No wonder I love backpacking
I just got blocked from an Instagram account and I don't know why. I did not subscribe as a follower, never commented or liked, just watched the stories and enjoyed the artists journey as I am not an artist at all. So I did not do anything wrong. She even might not know I exist. So the WHY sits so strong in my head. I feel rejected so deeply.
I am always so afraid of not beeing valued and beeing rejected that I usually don't interact with others that much. Her blocking me for no reason upsets and hurts me. I don't know what's wrong with her, so I look for the reason of her blocking me by thinking about my actions. I mean I can easily live without her art. So why is it bothering me so much? It makes me sad, it's painful inside and I really struggle handling my feelings. I know it's gonna follow me along for quite a while since I won't get any answer from her. Honestly... it's annoying. This is just one example. People who I know in person even hurt me more and longer by just saying a tiny little thing that triggers my RSD.
I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder however i always believed i was ADHD and BPD was in fashion at the time.
The older iget the more I just accept that im wired different however now our child is acting like a child with ADHD and its challenging to say the least.
🎯 Key points for quick navigation:
00:00 *🧠 Understanding Rejection Sensitivity*
- The conversation focuses on Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) and how it affects individuals with ADHD.
- RSD is often triggered by personal relationships.
- People with ADHD might react more intensely to rejections due to past experiences.
- The need for emotional regulation is highlighted, particularly in response to perceived criticisms.
10:05 *💔 Emotional Impact of Rejection*
- This section delves into the deep emotional wounds associated with rejection and how they can manifest physically.
- Reactions to rejection can resemble responses seen in PTSD.
- Individuals may internalize their pain, leading to sadness or self-criticism.
- The idea of unresolved past traumas resurfacing in reaction to current situations is emphasized.
18:40 *🌱 Managing RSD: Short-term and Long-term Strategies*
- Discussion on practical strategies for managing RSD in real-time and through long-term self-work.
- Immediate strategies include grounding techniques and seeking support from compassionate friends.
- Long-term approaches focus on understanding one's internal narrative and the importance of therapy.
- Building self-worth independent of external validation is crucial for resilience.
25:36 *👫 RSD in Romantic Relationships*
- This part emphasizes the importance of open communication about RSD within romantic partnerships.
- Understanding each partner's emotional processing styles is vital for navigating conflicts.
- Sensitivity can be a strength in relationships, enhancing empathy.
- Self-awareness and emotional maturity in both partners are key to a successful relationship.
23:59 *💬 Understanding Relationships and Sensitivity*
- Relationships require open communication and maturity.
- Acknowledging that individuals with ADHD often feel like they are "too much" and may hide parts of themselves.
- Emphasizing the importance of self-awareness in conflicts and contributions to relational pain.
27:19 *🔄 Hormonal Influences on Emotional Responses*
- Hormonal changes affect how individuals perceive and react to criticism.
- Women's emotional states fluctuate through menstrual cycles, impacting vulnerability.
- Men's daily testosterone levels influence their ability to handle stress and criticism.
30:44 *🍷 Impact of Lifestyle Choices on Rejection Sensitivity*
- Alcohol consumption negatively affects emotional regulation and stress response.
- Poor sleep from drinking worsens mood and increases susceptibility to RSD episodes.
- Context matters, including frequency of alcohol use and support systems available for recovery.
34:24 *⚖️ Distinguishing Reactions to Criticism*
- Recognizing when reactions to criticism are justified versus irrational.
- Individuals may externalize anger towards innocents, leading to shame and self-reflection.
- Self-awareness and internal questioning are crucial for managing emotions effectively.
37:11 *🌳 The Role of Environment in Managing ADHD*
- Nature and a low-stress environment can alleviate ADHD symptoms and RSD.
- Research indicates reduced ADHD traits when individuals spend time disconnected from daily stressors.
- Mindfulness about stress can improve emotional navigation and overall well-being.
40:24 *🧠 Relationships and Self-Esteem Dynamics*
- Sensitivity to rejection often stems from externalizing self-esteem validation.
- The need for external approval makes individuals sensitive to perceived rejections.
- Awareness and personal growth help manage reactions, turning perceived rejections into learning opportunities.
Made with HARPA AI
In this over stimulating world, being hyper sensitive is a difficult combination.
Trying to date as a man with RSD is extremely challenging. Most guys are going to get a lot less interest from women anyway so then you have to be the one to approach, and due to the fact that you already fear and feel rejected by default, it becomes extremely challenging. Plus the fact that you fear a negative response it ends up becoming a self fulfilling prophesy.
This is really intense, it confuses me because i had a breakup where i was rejected in a very strange way and over a year now i can’t coop with it. I still want to believe it was real because it is the first time in my life i had it this intense.
Perhaps if you're really ADHD the partner increased your dopamine and you developed a type of addiction to the person. If your logic tells you it was not the most beneficial rlshp yet you still want to be there, consider if you need to break the addiction.
@@abwhitaker425 i have no clue why i have this. First time in my life and the only thing that happend for this feeling was just she opening the door and Not even one word was said. This meeting happend before we actually became a couple and it was over 2 years ago. It doesn’t make sense to me anymore.
Is it weird that I interact with people I know that are not good at communication while I'm still learning better communication skills just to be ok with rejection?
PS which reminds me: the only time my brain feels calm, litteraly "zen-like" is after about 4 days of fasting when it starts fueling on ketones instead of leaching sugar from the already minimal amounts of natural carbs I consume.
as an audio guy, his microphone sounds quite boomy or woofy, and Dr. Hiew sounds crystal-clear. Hmmm
What is the name of the RSD medication(s)?
🎯 Key points for quick navigation:
00:00 *💭 Understanding Rejection Sensitivity in ADHD*
- Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) is a common experience among individuals with ADHD that can lead to profound emotional reactions.
- RSD often stems from relational and personal experiences, leading to heightened sensitivity to perceived rejections.
- The degree of emotional reaction can vary based on individual background and the context of the rejection.
10:00 *🌱 Factors Contributing to RSD*
- Rejection sensitivity can be exacerbated by environmental factors such as childhood relationships and attachment styles.
- Many individuals with ADHD struggle with insecure attachments due to both genetic and environmental factors, impacting emotional regulation.
- Emotional dysregulation is often linked to the inability to process past traumas effectively, resulting in maladaptive coping strategies.
20:00 *⚡ Managing Emotional Responses to Rejection*
- Immediate strategies to cope with RSD include grounding techniques to bring awareness back to the present moment during emotional dysregulation.
- Long-term management includes self-reflection and therapy to address the internalized beliefs contributing to emotional pain linked to rejection.
- Building self-worth independent of external validation is essential for long-lasting coping mechanisms.
30:00 *❤️ Navigating Relationships with RSD*
- Open communication about RSD early in relationships can foster understanding and compassion between partners.
- Recognizing that sensitivity can be both a challenge and a strength is crucial for maintaining a healthy relationship dynamic.
- Developing emotional maturity and self-awareness in both partners is vital to effectively manage conflict and stress within the relationship.
24:27 *💬 Navigating Relationship Sensitivity*
- Relationships can invoke micro-conflicts that require mature communication.
- Importance of self-awareness and personal growth in managing conflicts.
- Sensitive individuals, especially those with ADHD, may perceive things differently, aiding empathy but also requiring emotional management.
27:17 *🌱 Biological Cycles Impacting Emotions*
- Hormonal cycles significantly influence how individuals react to criticism and rejection.
- Women's emotional state fluctuates throughout the menstrual cycle, while men's testosterone levels change daily.
- Understanding these cycles can help in better managing emotions during challenging times.
30:01 *🍷 Alcohol's Effect on Emotional Regulation*
- Alcohol consumption adversely affects sleep quality and emotional resilience.
- Impaired deep sleep results in decreased ability to handle stress and mood fluctuations.
- Regular consumption can lead to a cycle of emotional instability and poor handling of rejection.
34:21 *🧠 Distinguishing Reactions to Rejection*
- Differentiating between justified and irrational reactions to criticism is crucial.
- Self-awareness and emotional regulation skills help in managing responses during rejection.
- Reflecting on internal voices can assist in understanding emotional triggers and responses.
37:07 *🌳 The Impact of Environment on ADHD*
- Natural environments can significantly reduce ADHD symptoms and emotional stress.
- Unplugging from daily stressors can foster patience and emotional stability.
- Recognizing the role of environmental factors is essential for managing ADHD effectively.
41:45 *💔 Handling Social Rejection*
- Reliance on external validation can lead to heightened sensitivity to rejection.
- Developing self-awareness and emotional maturity can help one cope with perceived rejections.
- Viewing rejection as an opportunity for personal growth rather than a failure can transform experiences.
Made with HARPA AI
similar to deer in headlights
My mobile there rejects me and my condition, makes it feel difficult to enjoy being myself
Does anyone else struggle with this in the form or crippling embarrassment?
100% I love being cancelled upon
That green light is not very flattering on camera.
I keep being distracted by it lol
So much ❤
Thanks for being REAL and you! and fuck rsd! I’m in the middle of dating right now and it sucks but it’s true that the best thing you can do is just say fuck it.
So fuck it I’m dating right now! 😅
How is the medication be stpelled whe told about?
Guanfacine (Intuniv)
Is rejection sensitivity always linked to ADHD?
RSD can make me feel physically sick.
I also get very bad eczema on my hands and fingers, related to it
All those who think it's trendy to have ADHD .. it fkn isn't.
Not when you REALLY have it
I have ADHD I can’t get through this video. Can someone paraphrase it please? Or make a shorter video. 😊thank you.
Such a shame. My sensitivity is in that place where I dont even lets say go to my husband to have sexy time, when I want to. Because the fear of rejection is such a great thing, that well... Sex? Not for me. Still thinking he secretly hates me, thinks i am ugly etc. Leading to arguments where I blame him for not wanting sex with me. He saying Well If you want Sex, you can reach out for that. And theres my RSD-wall. Background. My Mom was a real slut, i had to see things as a child. So sex is kind of a tabu theme for me, i dont even want to want to have sexual needs. Later i have been sexually abused. So...how do i get out of this?
Realise you are worthy of feeling what you feel while not allowing the past to rob your present. Why pay Twice for anything, you've went through it, you shouldn't have to pay for it again.
Thank you! @@Blinkybottom
i believe the "trauma" is from pre linguistic period of child development
50/50 on this one...lots of repetitive terms of "maturity and emotional intelligence" aimed towards women I think... as I click off she's on menstrual cycles...
This is so depressing
She’s lost me
The idea that God is good because disadvantages are balanced by advantages is absurdly delusional. Try telling that to an armless toddler in Gaza as they slowly starve to death in a tent orphanage. If a person can believe that, we have to assume they will believe whatever makes them comfortable regardless of the obvious facts, and are not a credible source of advice.
One of the most eye-opening podcasts I've EVER watched 😳 Thank you SO MUCH 🥲❤️🙌🏻
I have to disagree. RSD is NOT learned behaviour. RSD is underdeveloped "circuitry". The systems that process emotion are already malfunctioning, so any emotional event that is experienced will occur via that malfunction. This is most important to understand - this means that we carry emotional traumas from events that would not ordinarily be traumatic for neurotypical people, as well as any that would be. Consequently the deepest and most traumatic events can be a harsh word, spoken suddenly and unexpectedly by someone previously believed to be safe. Or sudden and unexpected violence.
Which is not to say that if the parental figure also has emotional dysregulation, which would almost certainly mean undiagnosed/unmedicated, that this wouldn't also be a contributory factor to the way RSD affects the child, but the child would still experience it through their own RSD.
ADHD is an acronym that covers a particular set of symptoms which are found to be associated by similarity of reported experiences.
It's been observed that people from all over the world who find themselves living with actual narcissists use the same words when talking about the things said to them and the things done to them. The same goes for ADHD. People from all over the world who have ADHD use the same words to describe their experiences, pretty much. It's extremely unlikely that this could be happening by chance.
A set of symptoms that persist across gender, ethnicity, faith, upbringing, and nationality. Doesn't matter whether you live in a tiny community in the middle of nowhere, or in a mega-city. Doesn't matter whether you're rich or poor, employed or unemployed, manual labourer or white collar worker, farmer or factory worker. It's the same symptoms and we mostly talk about it the same way. It being a thing that affects humans, which we all are, and yeah, yeah, yeah, all that visual diversity, but we're way closer than we realise.
One very common statement from people who have just found some online space where everyone has ADHD is, "I've never told anyone about these thoughts and the way I described these issues I've had, to myself, and now here's all these people using the same words."
The flip side to RSD should be called Acceptance Sensitive Euphoria.
That even the smallest act of kindness or recognition triggers a massive rush of euphoric emotions. These generally don't last as long as those triggered by RSD. The aftermath of one of these events is often a sense of bleakness, as normal levels of brain chemicals resume.
In puberty, and onwards if not recognised/understood, this can lead to assuming that "falling in love" is taking place, and all manner of heartbreaks and sorrow ensue, which the RSD makes traumatic.
Personally speaking, the euphoric events are worse, because of the sure and certain knowledge that it won't last and life will be horrible afterwards, for a while.
Every step of this, whether euphoric or dysphoric, is Emotional Dysregulation, that is part of ADHD. We don't learn to be ADHD, we're born this way.