My ex used the silent treatment as punishment, manipulation, and intimidation. He knew early on how devastating it was to me, especially when it carried on and on over minor and imaginary incidents. After a couple decades, it occurred to me that those extended periods of 'silence' were actually periods of peace. I proceeded to appear as upset as I had always been, slinked off to another room, and enjoyed the silence and peace. I eventually decided 'acting' hurt was just too much trouble, so I just ignored it. That appeared to be the trick to make the silent treatment end, as it proved to be upsetting to him once I no longer appeared intimidated, upset, or hurt. Imagine that....
I am glad this strategy worked for you. It does to work always for all people and you might have to reconsider the relationship sometimes. Thank you for sharing your experience.
This is hilarious. Have to love echo chambers. The man in the blue shirt laid it out perfectly but that was probably to reasonable for most. No man is trying to punish a woman with his silence; he probably finds talking to you insufferable. But instead of seeking professional help, looking in a mirror, or respecting boundaries, it’s, he must be “toxic.” Such a cop out. Most “adults” are horrible communicators! Most! None of us are as awesome as we want to believe!
16:52 I never experienced that as a child that I can remember. But I did have this one guy I was talking to. Do that to me often and I kept doing things. Because I had never experienced that before. I ended up ghosting him because he was exhausting. And doing way too much but now he’s sniffing around again. I just smile and keep it moving.
My husband used to do this to me. What he didn't know.....was that instead of humbling me it taught me to live without him. One day he left for work after a silent treatment and when he came back home, I was gone. That was like three or four years ago. Then out of the blue...he emailed me last year, to temp check my strength....found out that the silent treatment made me stronger. Yes! I live well without you! I left him alone with his own silent treatment😂
@@monica4.070 hmmm. So men can’t be silent and they darn sure can’t yell. And regular talking never works either. So where on the spectrum is this communication supposed to happen? Silent, conversation, yelling. None work with some humans. Let’s be honest.
@@Gr8nessnMe070 When serious issues arrive....you have to sit at the table and talk about it. Find a solution.....resolve it. There's a bulletin on critical thinking skills. But running away from problems isn't cool. I face mine, I solve it, I keep it moving! If you are quiet because you are thinking of a solution or keeping calm....it's cool, but what we are Not going to do is pretend that someone doesn't know the difference between a moment of silence and the silent treatment!
When a man gives a woman the silent treatment is for her protection. They don't want to blow their cool and say or do hurtful things they'll regret. I'm surprised women haven't figured it out yet
@@josemelendez8549 the man needs to COMMUNICATE TO THE WOMAN “ I need a few hours or I need a few days “ Communication of the reason for the silence is important to have a thriving relationship Thank you for sharing your thoughts
@melissamace1177 not always sometimes it's an effort to keep the peace. The Battle of the Sexes has always been around as far as recorded history has been available
@Healingrelationshiptrauma I agree but what about when you're trying to be communicated and be logical and your mate is coming from emotions without any basis. It's like hey baby why you crying" I don't know' Or getting up upset with her man because she had a dream that he was doing her wrong. My wife did me wrong because one of her bitter divorce friends told her that I had been with another woman and in the long run she found out it was a lie
It seems like most of these people are either speaking on a specific situation or that most of them are not relationship experts. Yes, withholding affection is hurtful and can be abusive. But to make a blanket statement that the silent treatment is manipulation is absurd. It centers the entire conflict on the perspective of the person not being spoken to, while leaving no room for the person not speaking to speak for themselves. Your boundaries are for you. Agency doesn't end because your partner wants you to communicate with them when they decide it's time for you to communicate. A healthy relationship would be able to give each other space too. That doesn't mean you won't communicate when you're ready.
@@yoyodre communication on intent to have space is the healthier approach rather than just being silent days weeks months or years in some cases That’s immature behavior
@@Healingrelationshiptrauma None of those creators indicated the men they were speaking of were going months, weeks, or years not communicating or mins or days. But I also don't think adults need to know precisely how much time their partners need to process their feelings or mull over conflict. Every situation and every person doesn't function this way. Its arbitrary to opine the difference between being abused is whether or not your partner opens up to you immediately or states they are taking space or not. A mature partnership requires give, take, & consideration for each other's capacity.
My ex used the silent treatment as punishment, manipulation, and intimidation. He knew early on how devastating it was to me, especially when it carried on and on over minor and imaginary incidents. After a couple decades, it occurred to me that those extended periods of 'silence' were actually periods of peace. I proceeded to appear as upset as I had always been, slinked off to another room, and enjoyed the silence and peace. I eventually decided 'acting' hurt was just too much trouble, so I just ignored it. That appeared to be the trick to make the silent treatment end, as it proved to be upsetting to him once I no longer appeared intimidated, upset, or hurt. Imagine that....
I am glad this strategy worked for you. It does to work always for all people and you might have to reconsider the relationship sometimes. Thank you for sharing your experience.
Silent treatment is cruel, childish and abusive.
My lovely, sweet, late wife was quite "silent." So was I. We just held hands and were "silent" together. I miss that peace. 😢
The Silent treatment doesn't bother me. It's not always manipulative, sometimes you just need a break from that person.
This is hilarious. Have to love echo chambers. The man in the blue shirt laid it out perfectly but that was probably to reasonable for most. No man is trying to punish a woman with his silence; he probably finds talking to you insufferable. But instead of seeking professional help, looking in a mirror, or respecting boundaries, it’s, he must be “toxic.” Such a cop out. Most “adults” are horrible communicators! Most! None of us are as awesome as we want to believe!
You have an interesting point/perspective there, thank you for sharing your thoughts . Professional help might be beneficial for both partners.
I like the man in the blue and how he breaks it down
FACTS
20:02
Yes
16:52
I never experienced that as a child that I can remember. But I did have this one guy I was talking to. Do that to me often and I kept doing things. Because I had never experienced that before. I ended up ghosting him because he was exhausting. And doing way too much but now he’s sniffing around again. I just smile and keep it moving.
Yeah took me 30yrs with him to finally stop it.
My hubby does this all the time. He's doing it now. I'm so over it!
@@felixx8279 thank you for sharing your experience. Sorry that’s happened to you. Hope you find healing
My husband used to do this to me. What he didn't know.....was that instead of humbling me it taught me to live without him. One day he left for work after a silent treatment and when he came back home, I was gone. That was like three or four years ago. Then out of the blue...he emailed me last year, to temp check my strength....found out that the silent treatment made me stronger. Yes! I live well without you! I left him alone with his own silent treatment😂
@@monica4.070 hmmm. So men can’t be silent and they darn sure can’t yell. And regular talking never works either. So where on the spectrum is this communication supposed to happen? Silent, conversation, yelling. None work with some humans. Let’s be honest.
@@Gr8nessnMe070 When serious issues arrive....you have to sit at the table and talk about it. Find a solution.....resolve it. There's a bulletin on critical thinking skills. But running away from problems isn't cool. I face mine, I solve it, I keep it moving! If you are quiet because you are thinking of a solution or keeping calm....it's cool, but what we are Not going to do is pretend that someone doesn't know the difference between a moment of silence and the silent treatment!
@@monica4.070 Very well said 💗
When a man gives a woman the silent treatment is for her protection. They don't want to blow their cool and say or do hurtful things they'll regret.
I'm surprised women haven't figured it out yet
It’s a power struggle. I’m sorry you’re so delusional you’re not willing to face that.
@@josemelendez8549 the man needs to COMMUNICATE TO THE WOMAN “ I need a few hours or I need a few days “
Communication of the reason for the silence is important to have a thriving relationship
Thank you for sharing your thoughts
@melissamace1177 not always sometimes it's an effort to keep the peace. The Battle of the Sexes has always been around as far as recorded history has been available
@Healingrelationshiptrauma I agree but what about when you're trying to be communicated and be logical and your mate is coming from emotions without any basis. It's like hey baby why you crying" I don't know' Or getting up upset with her man because she had a dream that he was doing her wrong.
My wife did me wrong because one of her bitter divorce friends told her that I had been with another woman and in the long run she found out it was a lie
@ that must have been a difficult time for you ! Thank you for sharing your experience healing friend!
It seems like most of these people are either speaking on a specific situation or that most of them are not relationship experts.
Yes, withholding affection is hurtful and can be abusive. But to make a blanket statement that the silent treatment is manipulation is absurd.
It centers the entire conflict on the perspective of the person not being spoken to, while leaving no room for the person not speaking to speak for themselves.
Your boundaries are for you. Agency doesn't end because your partner wants you to communicate with them when they decide it's time for you to communicate.
A healthy relationship would be able to give each other space too. That doesn't mean you won't communicate when you're ready.
@@yoyodre communication on intent to have space is the healthier approach rather than just being silent days weeks months or years in some cases
That’s immature behavior
@@Healingrelationshiptrauma None of those creators indicated the men they were speaking of were going months, weeks, or years not communicating or mins or days.
But I also don't think adults need to know precisely how much time their partners need to process their feelings or mull over conflict. Every situation and every person doesn't function this way.
Its arbitrary to opine the difference between being abused is whether or not your partner opens up to you immediately or states they are taking space or not. A mature partnership requires give, take, & consideration for each other's capacity.
Would you prefer we yell, scream, and flip out? Let's be honest. You DID do something wrong.
@@knowledgeispower6192 we prefer you communicate fairly kindly empathetic reasonably and with good intent
Preferably there would be a calm, mature, and careful communication somewhere between the two extremes.
It's funny that you warn women about the silent treatment, when this behavior is most prevalent in women.
Is that your overwhelming personal experience that the majority of women you've been with give you the silent treatment?