How Narcissists Sabotage Their Alleged Superiority

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  • Опубліковано 28 тра 2024
  • Narcissists are so self-impressed that they truly believe they are superior. Dr. Les Carter clearly describes that they don't comprehend how this mindset works against you...yet it also sabotages their own well-being. He challenges you to see what they cannot see so you will not be fooled by their many efforts to be allegedly superior.
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    Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who has semi-retired to Waco, TX. For 40+ years he maintained a counseling practice in Dallas, conducting more than 65,000 therapy sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder. Since creating his UA-cam channel, his videos have received more than 110 million views.
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 254

  • @ronch550
    @ronch550 20 днів тому +80

    It's like a crazy dictator that the people eventually get tired of and overthrow.

  • @fred.k9875
    @fred.k9875 21 день тому +112

    Narcissists built their castle on sand!

    • @teresadvorak6145
      @teresadvorak6145 20 днів тому +11

      It's because they have their head buried down in the sand. They are comfortable that way😮😅😂❤

    • @triciadreas9835
      @triciadreas9835 20 днів тому +13

      Their goal to drag you into the muck with them

  • @mday3821
    @mday3821 20 днів тому +95

    The more my narcissistic mother degraded, belittled, devalued, disrespected, criticized, ridiculed, judged, and exerted her power over me the more I started to not like her...and she never came to that realization.

    • @jeanettecook1088
      @jeanettecook1088 20 днів тому +15

      Leave her behind, go no contact, for 35 or 40 years. She will still try to hoover you... and for your own sake you must still remain no contact. I know, I've done this with my covert narc female parent for just that long!
      Freedom is priceless.
      🎉

    • @MarianneCatherine
      @MarianneCatherine 20 днів тому +10

      They're oblivious 😳😔🙄

    • @BeKind526
      @BeKind526 19 днів тому +11

      It's really sad when it's a parent or family member. 😢

    • @mday3821
      @mday3821 19 днів тому

      @@user-ho4nh2tp2i That is so true!

    • @mday3821
      @mday3821 19 днів тому +9

      @jeanettecook1088 Don't need to...she died in 2021, but thank you!

  • @marypoppins6973
    @marypoppins6973 18 днів тому +19

    They have a superiority complex, and need people around them to constantly support the idea that they are the ideal.

  • @yukio_saito
    @yukio_saito 21 день тому +117

    They believe they are always in the center of the spotlight. But due to their narrow and shallow perspective, they don't realize it when the audience is gone. 🏃🏃‍♂💨💨

    • @An-mei
      @An-mei 21 день тому +9

      By this time to truly live within the philosophy that anyone not of 'the knowing' are inept.

    • @PantaRhei-wz5zn
      @PantaRhei-wz5zn 20 днів тому +13

      Beautifully put. Made me smile ...
      This audience member is learning to put on her Nikes much faster these days ...🏃‍♀

    • @user-ly8ft2wb1c
      @user-ly8ft2wb1c 19 днів тому +5

      Or laughing at them in the inside.

    • @marysuzannajayne1340
      @marysuzannajayne1340 19 днів тому +1

      Very well said! I always say it’s like the Wicked Witch of the West! Even as she is “ melting “ you kinda feel sorry for her and the “ poof” she’s gone!! Then you feel relief of every munchkin in sight!!

    • @howdydocowgirlcowgirl181
      @howdydocowgirlcowgirl181 18 днів тому +3

      😂

  • @cathleenburton-noble418
    @cathleenburton-noble418 19 днів тому +24

    I told my soon to-be-ex husband that he was the cause of all of his own problems.

  • @theyellowshoe
    @theyellowshoe 20 днів тому +72

    I've noticed that every time I say "I've got it handled" he's all pissy, he acts like a 3 year old. Imagine a grown adult stomping off like a toddler! It's hilarious.

    • @caroleminke6116
      @caroleminke6116 20 днів тому +10

      He is a two year old but you’re his secondary supply mommy 😉 go gray rock plz if you cannot leave him

    • @SurvivingNarcissism
      @SurvivingNarcissism  20 днів тому +33

      Narcissists hate feeling irrelevant.

    • @mday3821
      @mday3821 20 днів тому +9

      My mother acted the same way when I would tell her, "I have it figured out!"

    • @Denisjaguar99
      @Denisjaguar99 20 днів тому +4

      I know what you are talking about. 4 years now that i am free of the relation and today still the kids talk to me about what her mother do and always blame me for almost everything. Today she still throw tantrum like a young girl. In the end looking at this start really to be a joke.

    • @kimberlys.7097
      @kimberlys.7097 20 днів тому +5

      Happens all the time. Gives me a good laugh now.

  • @danemartin5674
    @danemartin5674 19 днів тому +14

    The narcissist is an embarrassing person in public.

    • @dnwitte
      @dnwitte 18 днів тому +2

      And they know they're embarrassing you, and they LIKE it because it's just another way of exerting power.

    • @danemartin5674
      @danemartin5674 18 днів тому +1

      @@dnwitte actually, I've just watched the [ I own this place mentality and I'm so liked mentality in a group. While the narcissist looks just really stupid.]

  • @HealingQueen
    @HealingQueen 19 днів тому +15

    Exaggerated pride, no sense of accountability to anyone 🎯

  • @Toshineko
    @Toshineko 19 днів тому +31

    The more one takes delight in causing pain to others, the more they hurt themself. That's something narcissists can't understand, but it's true.

  • @wissn2112
    @wissn2112 18 днів тому +14

    They create their own demise and failure by how they act and talk. They will create stress and drama to distract from positive movement forward by diversion and blame shifting taking any focus on how their behavior contributed to the turmoil that makes anything fail. Then play victim.

    • @brusselsprout5851
      @brusselsprout5851 7 днів тому

      The neighbor ... Came over to tell me she sprayed herbicide all over the backside of the public property. And she wanted me to know her killing everything back there has been all my fault. Oh yah okay, I'm believing that. Not. She is a clown.

  • @marionthompson3365
    @marionthompson3365 19 днів тому +16

    Best to walk away. It's hard but absolutely necessary. No point in arguing with these people, waste of time. May as well be talking to a wall.

  • @Bianca-sw5id
    @Bianca-sw5id 20 днів тому +65

    Drama queens , so worried about what everyone thinks of them

    • @caroleminke6116
      @caroleminke6116 20 днів тому +2

      😉

    • @aprilswill9204
      @aprilswill9204 20 днів тому +3

      Sometimes I worry about what people think of me because I think they think I’m beneath them. Or I’m not good enough. This makes me think I’m the narcissist sometimes. This is so confusing sometimes.

    • @PantaRhei-wz5zn
      @PantaRhei-wz5zn 20 днів тому +3

      @@aprilswill9204 Worrying/ lower self esteem does not make you a narc at all UNLESS you also translate /deal with these feelings by: Entitlement, Exploiting others, and Dehumanizing/ lack of Feeling for other people.
      If you do NOT use these defense mechanisms, you are not a narc at all... Just a confused person

    • @Bianca-sw5id
      @Bianca-sw5id 18 днів тому

      @@aprilswill9204 you are entitled to self care , that is normal , you don't do it at someone else's expense

  • @jeffthompson9178
    @jeffthompson9178 20 днів тому +43

    If they are superior to others, why do they keep driving people away?

    • @whatstonjatalkingabout9100
      @whatstonjatalkingabout9100 15 днів тому

      Ppl leave...the smart ones leave. But it doesn't matter because relationships are revolving doors. They always keep a new supply of ppl.

  • @kennethlapointesongwriter3330
    @kennethlapointesongwriter3330 19 днів тому +12

    I've often thought even an 8 yr. old could see what a full-grown adult narc can't seem to see!

  • @matthewwozniak9138
    @matthewwozniak9138 19 днів тому +14

    Just because someone else is a jerk doesn't mean you have to be one too. Pay kindness forward and leave the hate behind you in the trash where it belongs.

  • @caroleminke6116
    @caroleminke6116 20 днів тому +36

    Emperor’s new clothes 😉 if people would only stop pretending that they see anything special about them 🤦‍♀️ then the narcissist’s supply is simply going to dry up!

    • @kimberlys.7097
      @kimberlys.7097 20 днів тому +6

      I wish. Instead everyone thinks he is just an amazing person. I’ve been in his presence and he threw a rage fit in front of someone and they actually apologized to him. When they did nothing wrong. It was disgusting to watch

    • @karenliles8548
      @karenliles8548 16 днів тому

      And the acceptance of the Narc by ‘others’ is important to acknowledge… the ‘take away’ is to exclude ‘Narc followers’ from your life as well. They are either benefiting in some way by association with direct or indirect benefits, or they are too shallow to recognize a narc… either indicates a person who you should steer clear of as it relates to dealings w/ your Narc. But keep watching… if Narc needs supply then a new source could become an unsuspecting follower, or a willing follower- flying monkey… narc associates are not to be trusted and unfortunately it would be a mistake to try an educate them to what’s really going on, esp at a time when you need to be focused on protecting &/or healing yourself.
      These creatures will continue to cause chaos as they forever seek supply to survive.

  • @Lisa-mg5lm
    @Lisa-mg5lm 20 днів тому +14

    Without their audience, there is no show. Thank you for all your great advice and vids ❤

  • @Mrsvragica666
    @Mrsvragica666 20 днів тому +31

    "They become less than a decent person."After lying to you and gathering your private info, they tell you you're the indecent one. And all you wanted to do was be friends. Bonkers

    • @CBHarvey
      @CBHarvey 18 днів тому +1

      “all you wanted to do is be friends”
      brilliant summation of our honest motive in the first place, misused and uncomprehended by the emotionally handicapped mother narcing parent.

  • @ericrukin2368
    @ericrukin2368 18 днів тому +7

    The way they get to mistreat ourselves and others and maintain a clear conscience is by playing the victim or by perceiving themselves to be the victim. This enables them to do the most harmful thing imaginable without compunction to we who don’t deserve it, because they are the victim.

  • @amandaliverpool3374
    @amandaliverpool3374 20 днів тому +50

    They put themselves on a wobberly pedestal. Only the bigger they are, the harder they fall 😉

  • @nancytwigg4631
    @nancytwigg4631 19 днів тому +8

    Excellent insights. The narcissist's alleged superiority takes them.... oh - so low. I find no delight in degradating others.

    • @nancytwigg4631
      @nancytwigg4631 19 днів тому +3

      Thank you, Dr. C. You are so rich in your generosity.

  • @flyinbry
    @flyinbry 19 днів тому +9

    the energy it takes to process these bad people.... I can hear it in the good doctors voice is hard

  • @Bike4Life231
    @Bike4Life231 19 днів тому +9

    The entitlement piece is huge when it comes to that superiority. They feel they deserve to be above others. They speak haughtily about things they don't truly understand in order to look important, and someone calls them out and they look stupid. But it's not them who is to blame for sharing false information. It's insanity.

  • @normanmacfarlane6724
    @normanmacfarlane6724 19 днів тому +12

    " once they taste blood . . . " ❤😂
    Spot on .

  • @judyhogarth80
    @judyhogarth80 19 днів тому +9

    The narcissist who I know keeps making statements..’ I am going to get a car’ &’. I am going to make art’ &’ I am going to beach with metal detector’ ……and he never does. Basically he opens his mouth and repeatedly puts his foot in it. He’s a joke. Listening to theses sessions I have grown my life based on promises I KEEP. Thank you. Judy from uk

    • @yukio_saito
      @yukio_saito 19 днів тому +1

      That sounds like my ex-friend. He said, "I will become an award-winning writer" but he is unskilled in writing. "I will take a master's degree" but he even dropped out of a bachelor's degree program. 😮

    • @kimhumiston2686
      @kimhumiston2686 18 днів тому +2

      Yep. I listened to my sister talk about all these plans as to what she was going to do, whether it be remodeling on house, vacation with the kids, etc. , and hasn't done any of it. Always comes up with an excuse. Totally exhausting!

    • @bikerd72
      @bikerd72 16 днів тому

      Isn't that called "future faking"? I really like the wording as it so describes it to the point.

  • @user-lh2uz5rj9q
    @user-lh2uz5rj9q 20 днів тому +11

    I know a narcissist who makes his woman work while he does nothing and he thinks he is in a Superior position because he owns the house but if she left he would lose everything because he would never go to work

  • @victoryamartin9773
    @victoryamartin9773 18 днів тому +4

    I like the cartoon analogy. That makes them seem less scary. Although, as a cartoon they can still kill you.

  • @TattedChristian
    @TattedChristian 19 днів тому +10

    Nothing like GUS chillin' on the couch😍🐶🐕😍💗💗💗🐶🐕!!! We love u GUS 🐶😍😄💗!!!

  • @HealingQueen
    @HealingQueen 19 днів тому +8

    Constantly told me how deeply he loved me but no true understanding of what love was. An alleged superiority

  • @mytruthbekind5793
    @mytruthbekind5793 19 днів тому +8

    I like it. Rise above and leave them behind. They lose out because of their narrowness.

  • @flyinbry
    @flyinbry 19 днів тому +9

    a bankrupt way of living.... you hit the nail on the head

  • @chadandrews98
    @chadandrews98 20 днів тому +31

    They may enjoy Schadenfreude.

  • @jeankipper6954
    @jeankipper6954 20 днів тому +14

    I thank God 10,000 times that I missed marrying what I now, with Dr. C's lucid explanations, can see would have been complete disaster. Whew!!!
    Good luck with your appointment today!

  • @michellehill718
    @michellehill718 20 днів тому +9

    The narcissists to Team Healthy: You need to be what I am! Team Healthy in response: Oh, really, that's interesting.🙃

  • @AlwaysStampinVideos
    @AlwaysStampinVideos 20 днів тому +32

    One minute they make themselves the boss of you and the next minute they want you to be their mommy.
    I’m just now catching up on last week’s videos, DrC. Wow, that interview with Dr Nadine! If we could only scale properly the situations people are put in and the situations people put themselves in- so extremely similar although so very different. So many people might focus on the wealth of her story and therefore are only how different their story is from hers. But at the core of our humanness, that’s where we can relate and learn from what she shared. Thx for keeping those interviews going! I hope Gus is feeling like the loved pup that he is! And I still hear a little raspy in your voice so I hope you’re feeling well also! Have a great day!!!

    • @SurvivingNarcissism
      @SurvivingNarcissism  20 днів тому +12

      Thanks, Kelly. I've been dealing with major allergies for 5 months and after weeks of waiting, I'm finally seeing a specialist today! Thanks, as always, for your comments!

    • @amandaliverpool3374
      @amandaliverpool3374 20 днів тому +2

      😂That's so true 👍
      I hope you are well ❤

    • @amandaliverpool3374
      @amandaliverpool3374 20 днів тому +4

      ​@SurvivingNarcissism I'm glad you're seeing someone. We all worry about you ❤

    • @dakoderii4221
      @dakoderii4221 20 днів тому +11

      They will tell you to do something, whether you were going to do it or not, so they can take the credit and tell people you couldn't tie your own shoes if not for them. They paint a picture to the world that your achievements are theirs. Of course, all their faults are yours. You either did it or you made them do it.

    • @angelablaney4575
      @angelablaney4575 20 днів тому

      Yep your right, they want a mummy to care for their every need to then dispose of you so they feel like a grown up little child!! That's what they are demonic infants!! There is nothing good about these parasites! Very unstable miserable entities!

  • @alecstuart5266
    @alecstuart5266 20 днів тому +13

    Dr. C thank you. Pls dont trouble youself in a sense your throat / vocal is troubling you. Pls take rest.

    • @SurvivingNarcissism
      @SurvivingNarcissism  20 днів тому +7

      After weeks of waiting, I'm finally seeing a specialist this afternoon.

  • @carlasouthwell7422
    @carlasouthwell7422 19 днів тому +6

    DR.C. You have been a lifeline to me over 5 years. Your counsel has talked me off the edge several times. It's taken such a long period of time, rehab, meds, hospitalization (physical abuse), etc.
    After all this time, I so get this and see the flags. I see him/them as sad and pitiable. Clowns and cartoons are condescending, because they're failing in their lives.
    I have enough emotional stability to recognize and pity them.
    DR.C. You continue to heal me, and I'm so very appreciative. You are rock solid on your counsel and advice. I refer to you often with my friends, and I'm extremely thankful to your sponsors. I said 'he' gutted me including financially. Medicare couldn't reparate your level of skill and education

    • @andreacook6000
      @andreacook6000 19 днів тому

      That is such a wonderful and heartfelt message. I feel the same way as you. It’s been two years for me so far. Wow, you are so incredibly strong. I admire you for all the hard work and determination you have shown in your life to fight back and reclaim your life, to love yourself and respect yourself enough to say NO! I wish you all the happiness and health and good people and experiences you can possibly find in the world. You deserve more and more good in your life, keep reaching, and finding this. I am keeping on reaching and finding it too. Blessings and best wishes to you✨🪷🐥🩷

    • @SurvivingNarcissism
      @SurvivingNarcissism  19 днів тому

      Hi Carla. So pleased for this report. It's an honor to be on the journey with you.

  • @thereallisa1
    @thereallisa1 18 днів тому +3

    I told him he had reached the cartoon stage ..

  • @gisella1350
    @gisella1350 19 днів тому +4

    Thank you. I have a neighbor for over 20 years. She is always trying to undermine anyone's success through words and actions. She never has visitors so she tries to entangle herself in to the immediate people who live in this complex. Nasty and looking to harm. To those type of people. When, and if you behave like her and you decide to interfere and try to sabotage people's lives, expect to be alone. So sad for you, your life is a mess. Ask your self, Why?

  • @marypoppins6973
    @marypoppins6973 18 днів тому +3

    Hubris and haughty...absolutely the case. They deem themselves as a God-like statue.

  • @lovehappiness3911
    @lovehappiness3911 20 днів тому +10

    Thank you Dr. C. I finally have the dialogue to explain what I went through with older siblings. God bless you.

  • @andreacook6000
    @andreacook6000 20 днів тому +10

    Amazing video!This is incredibly spiritual. The whole notion of superiority is antithetical to life and what we truly are and you describe this so well here. When humanity moves past this way of viewing relationships, looking for security in putting someone else down to “win” we will move to a higher way of being. This mindset needs healing in the world in all the ways it shows up. Thank you for showing this with such clarity, so we can see right through it for what it really is.

  • @Victoria-tc5cm
    @Victoria-tc5cm 20 днів тому +18

    Can one ever have a decent conversation with a covert narcissistic person? Please answer when you can Dr. Carter. I listen to you as.much as possible. ❤

    • @SurvivingNarcissism
      @SurvivingNarcissism  20 днів тому +19

      The covert narcissist can actually be skilled in making good impressions, so keep the big picture in mind as you have those experiences. Behind the scenes is a different person.

    • @caroleminke6116
      @caroleminke6116 20 днів тому +4

      If you want to talk to a wall with a mirror on it!

    • @sallyjaynes2433
      @sallyjaynes2433 20 днів тому +3

      *Fake conversation, .... the Covert puts on (Child inside)

    • @mday3821
      @mday3821 20 днів тому +7

      The answer is simply no, you can't.

    • @shellykrueger5977
      @shellykrueger5977 19 днів тому +4

      I think the most frustrating part is that you do have to be on your toes to point out all of the inconsistencies, nonsensical thinking and absolute falsehoods they express. And no, I don't feel that Ive had a productive conversation in the 30 years we've been together. I don't even engage in conversation unless absolutely necessary.

  • @rg-mi5hh
    @rg-mi5hh 20 днів тому +10

    Woke up to a bull standing in our yard a few months ago. Out of the blue, there he was, bawling and bawling. So weird and out of place. Two men trying to catch him. I watched how they handled him. They didn't talk, persuade, blame, defend themselves, explain. They just stood back several feet to block it from where they didn't want it to go. It jumped sky high over a huge pile of brush because it couldn't get through an area. Finally it was coerced into a trailer on another street. (When it came here a year before, the cop was trying a dog leash to capture it ...duh, another neighbor was trying to find its owner...who cares who the owner is just get someone who knows how to deal with bulls!🐃 ) No idea the destruction it could have caused and it didn't care. I thought to myself, "This is what it is like to deal with narcissists."

    • @teresadvorak6145
      @teresadvorak6145 20 днів тому +4

      Yeah, we have to keep our gard up around their Bullshit!!!😮😅😂❤

  • @lisalacroix7906
    @lisalacroix7906 20 днів тому +15

    Thank you, Dr.C ❤
    I'm trying to get to my place of peace. I'm so determined to leave the narcissist husband that I've been attached to for too many years. Leaving is hard but I will find peace.

    • @caroleminke6116
      @caroleminke6116 20 днів тому +2

      You are stronger than you know now! A year out & sanity is returning at last but that trauma bond is harder to break, the longer you stay ❤️‍🩹 after listening to Dr C for awhile I began to go completely gray rock & he finally left me… much the better to let them leave on their own terms, even if for new supply 😉 you’ve got this❣️

    • @rg-mi5hh
      @rg-mi5hh 20 днів тому +1

      Best wishes.

    • @ginafarley6190
      @ginafarley6190 20 днів тому +1

      My recommendation is to be very secretive about your plan to leave, and don’t let on that you’re unhappy. In fact, make them believe things are better than before.

    • @lisalacroix7906
      @lisalacroix7906 18 днів тому

      @ginafarley6190 Yes, thank you. He doesn't have a clue and I will definitely be going no contact. I've seen his rage and I know how vindictive he can be.
      Thank you for your suggestion. I really appreciate it. ♥️

    • @lisalacroix7906
      @lisalacroix7906 18 днів тому

      @caroleminke6116 Thank you so much for your support and wisdom. I truly appreciate it. ♥️

  • @marypoppins6973
    @marypoppins6973 18 днів тому +2

    "I'm going to build my own sense of well-being by building your sense of wellbeing"
    This is what constitutions a very healthy relationship. 👏 Bravo. Well said Dr

    • @SurvivingNarcissism
      @SurvivingNarcissism  18 днів тому +2

      It's what I call the Significance Paradox....I find my significance by helping you find yours.

  • @MissPril
    @MissPril 20 днів тому +15

    God Bless you sweet Dr. C. You are often my lifeline to sanity. How you know exactly what I am going through and say exactly what I need to hear is amazing. Im sure im not the only one who has survived due to your wisdom and kindness. I know thats a bit syrupy, but im truly grateful for you and Gus.

    • @SurvivingNarcissism
      @SurvivingNarcissism  20 днів тому +7

      Please know that I'm honored to be on the path with you!

    • @andreacook6000
      @andreacook6000 19 днів тому +1

      That’s not syrupy, that’s totally true. I have written things like that and it’s so nice to read other people say that too. I feel like yes it’s OK to say that and feel that way. That’s how it feels and is isn’t it. Blessings to you🐥✨🪷💚

  • @InfiniteMindset99
    @InfiniteMindset99 18 днів тому +2

    Yes! I will not succumb to their path of denigration nor delight in their devilish way of life. 🎉 I choose to live a higher life with every mindful moment. May you all break through the destructiveness and find your inner peace.

  • @a.zavala2355
    @a.zavala2355 20 днів тому +16

    Dr. Carter, Some time ago you coined them when you said they think they are "the gold standard". Absolutely true. The narc wasn't shy about saying it out loud either. They're like martians.....strange. Her husband died & she became the only wife who knew how that felt. She wanted to instruct others on what to expect from doctors, family & friends. Her superiority became a tsunami of exaggerations & bitterness. I listened & read txt mssgs until my emotional & mental well-being told me to leave the friendship over hearing her constant bashing of me & others. The final strike for me was her complaint about having to be at the hospital while he was dying in misery. She resented having to be bedside on HER BIRTHDAY!!! That spoke volumes very concisely. We were done. She foot-noted my silence by saying, "I can't do this kind of friendship anymore." Thankfully, I was silent again & that was her last remark. I blocked all means of contact with her. This was my 1st EVER friend from childhood. We grew up together but I ignored yrs of her selfishness. I grew up in a faith that she never was taught. Believe me, it shows in her cruelty toward her own adult children who lost their dad. Her indifference toward them was nauseating. Thank you for enlightening us with truth & good suggestions. They all worked for me.❤

    • @glomerci8732
      @glomerci8732 19 днів тому +3

      I understand. Been through the same thing unfortunately.

  • @ryangrundy4290
    @ryangrundy4290 17 днів тому +3

    They have bloodlust

  • @user-qv9nw1dq2f
    @user-qv9nw1dq2f 19 днів тому +4

    I take no delight in trying to denegrade another human being by elevating myself. I would rather help others to find and develop their sense of self and dignity by giving them a word of encouragement which is what I would like my friends to offer to me. Thank you so much for offering your wisdom, help and support dr Carter ❤😊 God bless you❤

  • @whatstonjatalkingabout9100
    @whatstonjatalkingabout9100 15 днів тому +1

    We always acknowledge how they "suffer" but the reality is...if youre incapable of ANY TYPE OF SELF REFLECTION...they're very happy with their life & process. Karma doesn't exist for them because when their energy is returned to them...in their mind, it's not their fault. There's always someone to blame. They don't gaf about insight. The older I get, the more I realize...they have it good! They have no compassion, insight nor guilt & do & say whatever they want. Sounds like the perfect life.

  • @An-mei
    @An-mei 21 день тому +19

    By not listening or being open to any other opposing opinions?

    • @yukio_saito
      @yukio_saito 21 день тому +5

      Good point. 🎯

    • @yukio_saito
      @yukio_saito 21 день тому +4

      @@SandraII-in9sl I've seen those people wreak havoc on themselves. 😯

    • @Ocean1688
      @Ocean1688 20 днів тому +8

      They won’t listen because they don’t want to give us any credit for our wisdom. I’ve found that my narc will do the complete opposite in spite of what ever I suggest or say.

    • @dakoderii4221
      @dakoderii4221 20 днів тому +4

      Why would they listen to others opinions? They already know everything. Now go help them do something they said they don't know how to do before they throw another tantrum. But do it carefully so you don't hurt their feelings. That means you have to successfully show them what to do without showing them what to do. That would trigger feelings of inadequacy and the subsequent rage them drama run around town gossiping the latest drunken lies they can come up with. It's like you have to defuse a bomb attached to everything you do. No stress at all! Easy peasy.

    • @caroleminke6116
      @caroleminke6116 20 днів тому +2

      Yup

  • @mac-ju5ot
    @mac-ju5ot 20 днів тому +10

    My mother was very bright. Mom use to say ," Everyone wants their fifteen minutes of fame" they just dont get the perspective that they arent clear in wanting peace . It can be discussed with peace and grace.

  • @ronaldmcdonald3965
    @ronaldmcdonald3965 20 днів тому +14

    It's kinda funny.
    Here is what my older cousin's do
    1. Harsh open
    2. Do this/do that
    3. Key Point: They haven't the foggiest idea what they are talking about
    4. Several have dysfunctional lives: hoarding, suing each other, name calling each other, accusing each other of things
    5. I initially remained stoic and constructive
    a) I helped my cousin replace her late father's war medals with the help of our Congressman and DoD.
    6. But I stay away from them now

  • @Meowminx
    @Meowminx 20 днів тому +12

    I hope you feel better soon and that your specialist sorts out what's going on. I've been following you for the last five years and your videos have relaly helped me understand how their minds and actions work. Thank you for all your help🙏. Greetings from the UK

    • @SurvivingNarcissism
      @SurvivingNarcissism  20 днів тому +2

      Thank you so much!

    • @sallyjaynes2433
      @sallyjaynes2433 20 днів тому +2

      The weather 'Down South' here has been crazy.... temperatures up, then down & then Dry air , then Humidity. It's been given the raspy throat on the vocal chords kinda thing 😵‍💫😬

  • @fred.k9875
    @fred.k9875 20 днів тому +10

    Thank you Dr.C please take care of yourself!

  • @clarecollins2547
    @clarecollins2547 16 днів тому +1

    The awful thing is that eventually they make you ,the non narcissist ,contemptuous. Its like poison they are toxic. Ive said goodbye to my narcissistic friend before i explode! I feel sad but, its the only way.

  • @Sheisme120
    @Sheisme120 2 години тому

    Good point, if we make errors, it’s better to do that in the direction of dignity.🎤

  • @joannejohnson7006
    @joannejohnson7006 20 днів тому +13

    Feel better Doctor 😊

  • @jacquelinefroehle5868
    @jacquelinefroehle5868 18 днів тому +3

    Narcissist can not understand that Giving and Receiving are the same thing....What we give out will come back to us. If we give out love and respect, we earn back love and respect. If we give out lies and harm to others...that will come back on us. My big problem was trying to Trust the Narcissist....trusting one means we get run over by their abuse. Trusting a Narcissist is like trying Satan...do that and Satan will still destroy you. Finally I learned Trust God First, and do not trust people...people are lost and confused beings, unless they learned to Trust God first.

  • @icalotdonthide2646
    @icalotdonthide2646 20 днів тому +8

    It is always a pleasure to see a new video from you. But do take care of yourself. Your wisdom is invaluable and sorely needed during trying times. Be Blessed Doc❤❤

  • @ladyvirgo9514
    @ladyvirgo9514 19 днів тому +6

    I appreciate all you share🙏

  • @Hatbox948
    @Hatbox948 20 днів тому +11

    My nex did act superior and would challenge anything I said. But, he seemingly acted like that only with me, and not others. Why me? How did I set myself up for that?

    • @dakoderii4221
      @dakoderii4221 20 днів тому +2

      You didn't set yourself up. He's a spider. You just happened to walk into his web. He was looking for someone to treat that way all along. You just made a mistake of falling for his charm, using tactics you did not know about yet. Narcs get that charm by sucking the energy out of those they deem lesser than. Learn the signs of narcissism and do your best to grey rock or completely stay away from the ones you spot. It is a growing problem thanks to media/social media pushing the materialistic world view where keeping up with the Jones' is the number 1 priority in life. Number 2 is hedonism with free pron everywhere. Makes for quite a destabilized population.

    • @44ARISEandSHINE44
      @44ARISEandSHINE44 20 днів тому +8

      It is spiritual so you just have to connect some dots. The same pattern of behavior is all over the Bible, from beginning to end. You tell the truth too much, are in agreement with God in some ways (if you know it or not) .... have some light in you. That is all you have to do to be treated this way by people in darkness... The world calls it narcissistic abuse.. but in reality it is the behavior of people who hate truth. Think about David vs Saul, Joseph vs his brothers, Jesus vs the pharisees, Elijah vs Jezebel etc.. etc... The pattern becomes glaringly obvious once you see it.
      You can see the pattern in individual relationships, all the way up to interactions between countries and the world. God bless!

    • @dakoderii4221
      @dakoderii4221 20 днів тому +7

      @@44ARISEandSHINE44 Well said. It's pride at the root. Narcs can't humble themselves and admit they don't know everything, are not perfect, etc. You cannot grow without humility. You'll stay stuck at the age where you hardened up. You'll have fragments of an adult that would be picked up by experience but nothing will connect as a whole.

    • @caroleminke6116
      @caroleminke6116 20 днів тому +4

      You’re a secondary supply mommy from whom he never separated as a child so he’s just repeating this cyclical pattern with anyone he can con… never knew you as an individual because he’s not an adult like we know one to be, so make your boundaries stronger & don’t ever mother someone else’s infant plz because then you’re enabling him… a supply source like another breast 🤦‍♀️

  • @daniellemeenach4418
    @daniellemeenach4418 18 днів тому +2

    Your videos sincerely saved my life and also reading the comments to remind me why I RAN LIKE HELL. Been almost four months and I see it clearly now, but still hurts, sometimes I still miss whatever that shared fantasy was, really gets under your skin and damages the heart💔 and I miss the person I was before all that torment. Think she's gone for good but gave me important lessons in discernment and self awareness. Learning a lot, but not out of the woods. Thank you so much for putting this information out here for us. It has been a gift from God. Best to you and Gus too. ❤️

  • @brusselsprout5851
    @brusselsprout5851 7 днів тому +1

    My neighbor...full on psychopath narcissist. She is working her way to jail due to exactly the behavior described, and worse.

  • @DiscipleofHim
    @DiscipleofHim 20 днів тому +4

    Helping us see the truth, one sentence at a time.
    Dr. Carter and his messages.

  • @kimhumiston2686
    @kimhumiston2686 18 днів тому +1

    Thank you Dr. Carter for all of your teachings. You helped get me through the "coming out of the fog" after dealing with a narcissist father, N boss and N sister. You are such a blessing to to many! ❤

  • @jamesjames5896
    @jamesjames5896 18 днів тому +2

    I respect humility and honesty.

  • @lanorefulgham6469
    @lanorefulgham6469 19 днів тому +4

    Thank you so much for sharing- a peaceful pathway

  • @patricksicard2023
    @patricksicard2023 20 днів тому +5

    I found his reaction quite interesting when I exposed him for what he is by pulling the mask off of his face. Expose them for the monsters that they are. Set their grandiosity aside for them. Insignificant and irrelevant.

    • @caroleminke6116
      @caroleminke6116 20 днів тому +2

      Never turn your back on anyone that you expose because the knife if being sharpened 😉

  • @SheltonHill
    @SheltonHill 19 днів тому +4

    That was great…very succinct and eloquent.

  • @b8akaratn
    @b8akaratn 20 днів тому +9

    Kiddo doesn't recall the cops being present when after out of the blue, narcspouse decided to walk the dog (which he never did), only to relentlessly drag poor Ted over the concrete, tearing the paws of all four feet when a train passing by scared him. But I Do. "Take care of your dog!" narcspouse demanded, which I did with an impromptu emergency vet visit... I called the cops because the entire situation was SO. RANDOM... (Narcspouse himself was recovering from wisdom teeth extraction, chipmunk-cheeked with blood soaked gauze, WHY walk the dog THAT DAY, when you never really do?!? 😞) Cops were called by me that day bcuz i had NO IDEA exactly who i was calling "husband." Utterly unrecognizable.

    • @thebiscuitrose
      @thebiscuitrose 20 днів тому +4

      Almost each sentence Dr. C states and I can insert a date. Time. 😅 And name and describe the truth of each type of incident.

  • @sueyoung2839
    @sueyoung2839 19 днів тому +4

    Thank you, it’s very helpful information ❤️🙏God bless you Doctor Les

  • @sharontennison6370
    @sharontennison6370 18 днів тому +1

    Following that I had a lonely boring day, which the Lord assures me was to prevent my replacing devaluation with any distraction, just Him and me

  • @juliebarlow1792
    @juliebarlow1792 16 днів тому +1

    Dr. C. this video is just brilliant. All your videos are amazing but for me this one knocks it out of the park. You've nailed the spiritual depravity of NPD with crystal clarity, but at the same time reminded all of us survivors that we've chosen the beautiful path of peace, humanity, kindness, and well being instead.❤

  • @Georgia.O
    @Georgia.O 19 днів тому +2

    Admission time... i watch such videos sometimes because... i hope the narcissists that have hurt me feel some of that ache too. I had a hurtful experience recently that nearly turned physical.
    I need to work on my own self and often that makes me look into places I don't like but really, I cannot afford to become... this.

  • @Ocean1688
    @Ocean1688 20 днів тому +6

    So good💫😇❣️. Thank you Dr. C and Gus 🤗

  • @cuddlemuff6632
    @cuddlemuff6632 19 днів тому +3

    Good one, Les. Thanks

  • @sharontennison6370
    @sharontennison6370 18 днів тому

    I just need to share my victory over devaluation. I could almost see it in the spirit while praying. It was like a large dark thick body which moved aside and out of my personal realm. 😂

  • @hollycussons6637
    @hollycussons6637 14 днів тому +1

    My good mind is back 😌 thank GOD lol can try the head games I don't do that shit to people. Your right they sabotage themselves and I don't even want that I want everyone to be well and happy and protected. Hopefully they will be able to stay humble. I cant allow that pain anymore. That's why I protect myself ❤

  • @darinsmith2458
    @darinsmith2458 20 днів тому +5

    Superiority-Inferiority is shame.. If I was involved with the person at all I was automatically put into that role.. I see a couple issues here.. First to get out of any sort of relationship.. Second to deal with the Inferiority role that I am still in.. Alanon talks about getting out of denial.. You mentioned False Self in regards to them but I would also say that I have a False Self of Inferiority..

    • @SurvivingNarcissism
      @SurvivingNarcissism  20 днів тому +3

      I like how you are processing this, Darin.

    • @darinsmith2458
      @darinsmith2458 20 днів тому +2

      @@SurvivingNarcissism Thank you and it really helps me that you do these videos every day..

    • @mvbigmagic4048
      @mvbigmagic4048 19 днів тому

      That's so interesting. I understand the "false self" concept of the narcissist. But.... you're right.... the codependent has a "false self" too...... whoa..... mind blown. I guess this is what they mean by always "living your authentic self." I too need to stop wearing my "false self" mask of codependency. I also, I realize, gained narcissistic flies from my upbringing. 51 years. It's hard to change, but I'm still trying. For my husband and my kids' sake. And really .... all of humanity benefits from humility and a willingness to improve oneself.

    • @darinsmith2458
      @darinsmith2458 19 днів тому

      @@mvbigmagic4048 Thank you... The more awareness I get about others and about myself the more my choices can change..

  • @darrynreid4500
    @darrynreid4500 18 днів тому +1

    Only just yesterday, I had to warn my wife when she was giggling and teasing me by flicking the elastic on my pants that if she didn't cut it out, I'd be forced to speak into my space of alleged elastic-snapping superiority.
    Which resulted in yet another game chasing each other around, before I had to draw the line to go watch Carter.

  • @Snezanah
    @Snezanah 20 днів тому +4

    Hey....where is Gus?
    Oh...
    After the intro...I see him😃👍🐾🐾❤️🥰.

  • @barbarahanks-ut6zn
    @barbarahanks-ut6zn 17 днів тому +1

    Superior fuck ups.

  • @user-cf3iz6cl5q
    @user-cf3iz6cl5q 17 днів тому +2

    Thank you so much Dr. C, I really needed to hear this!

  • @Bea_Survivor
    @Bea_Survivor 19 днів тому +3

    Love it! This is pure brilliance!, Dr C, thank you so much for this gem. ✨🙏 This is exactly what I've been thinking, and your expression of it all, and covering everything is just so exceptional!, and validating, and helpful. I'm going to listen to it again for those fabulous nuggets. 🌟 (p.s. I hope your appointment went well. 💛)

  • @MisssAnthrope49
    @MisssAnthrope49 19 днів тому +3

    LMAO After 5 months of silent ignoring, we are besties...again. My WONDERFUL co-worker quit (3rd in 1 1/2 years), narc boss blithely cozies up. Y' gotta laugh/cry.
    Re: blood
    Fixed that by going grey rock, then graduated to simple reduction to 99% of supply.

  • @cherylnathanodette
    @cherylnathanodette 20 днів тому +2

    Always insightful, what or where does anger get you, nowhere, so I'll stay being me thanks. Great video Dr. C

  • @AmourofgodShinelight
    @AmourofgodShinelight 20 днів тому +3

    This was absolutely tremendous, Thank you so much for this DR Les, You're absolutely beautiful and a treasure to humanity, A great bloke, Peace, love and respect to you and everyone, Thank you universe, All glory to the most high God 😃❤💛💗💜💚💙🌌🌈🍄😘🌹✌🐎🦁🕆☘⚖🌲⚽🦄🕊

    • @SurvivingNarcissism
      @SurvivingNarcissism  20 днів тому +1

      Thanks so much.

    • @AmourofgodShinelight
      @AmourofgodShinelight 20 днів тому +1

      @@SurvivingNarcissism You're always welcome DR Les, You're an inspiration to me 😃🌌🌈❤💛💗💜💚💙😃

  • @NancyBrown1975
    @NancyBrown1975 19 днів тому +2

    Intelligent, keen videos keep coming our way from the expert Dr. C. He sure has some keen insight and wisdom to draw upon to save us from the clutches of that narcissist. Thank you.

  • @gayle1001
    @gayle1001 20 днів тому +4

    Good morning Dr. C and Gus!

  • @crystal.knightrwe
    @crystal.knightrwe 13 днів тому +1

    Spot on.

  • @Gimmekiss-ix1hh
    @Gimmekiss-ix1hh 20 днів тому +2

    Dr C. Can you please explain more on what a narcissistic psychological assault would be? And how is it any different than how a narcissist normally acts?

    • @amac2573
      @amac2573 20 днів тому +3

      Criticize you for you just being you. Say for example you like to drink tea, but they prefer coffee. Then they criticize you for liking tea or make snarky remarks or snarky "jokes" which are attempts to pull you down.

  • @Anisette65
    @Anisette65 20 днів тому +2

    Are they not seeing the other person's demise, or are they aiming for their demise, so the narc isn't going to respond, cease the harm, or actually help like a normal person would?

  • @anitaandersen2531
    @anitaandersen2531 19 днів тому +1

    Listened to you and your information for a long time ❤- so glad to receive these messages of support and sound advice 😊. Has helped and shed light so very MUCH Much gratitude from 🇳🇴.

  • @sandyhenry3238
    @sandyhenry3238 19 днів тому +2

    My last 21 yrs

    • @SurvivingNarcissism
      @SurvivingNarcissism  19 днів тому +1

      But hopefully not the next 21 years. I'm pulling for you, Sandy.

  • @sharisimonehampton5434
    @sharisimonehampton5434 18 днів тому +1

    Always on target, Doc. Thanks so much. 😉👍❤️

  • @peterhoekstra2957
    @peterhoekstra2957 20 днів тому +3

    Thank you 😊