What Happens to Men? (John Quincy Adams)
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- Опубліковано 26 вер 2023
- Hello Everyone!
At the moment, I won't be releasing a weekly podcast but
I'd like to from time to time as requested by YOU the subscribers.
Thank you!
In this third episode, I'd like us to ask "What Happens to Men".
What happens to men like my father who wasn’t equipped to be a father or a husband, or his father. What chain of events lead to long-lasting generation trauma and a struggle to connect for men?
This episode will focus on a hypothetical case example, compiled from the history and stories of America's 6th president, John Quincy Adams.
Learn more about Patrick Teahan,
Childhood Trauma Resources and Offerings
➡️ linktr.ee/patrickteahan
MUSIC IS BY:
Chris Haugen - Ibiza Dream
• Chris Haugen - Ibiza D...
St. Helena - The Blue and the Red
• The Blue and the Red
Editing Service:
www.jamesrara.com/
⚠️ Disclaimer
My videos are for educational purposes only. Information provided on this channel is not intended to be a substitute for in person professional medical advice. It is not intended to replace the services of a therapist, physician, or other qualified professional, nor does it constitute a therapist-client or physician or quasi-physician relationship.
If you are, or someone you know, is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room.
If you are having emotional distress, please utilize 911 or the National Suicide Hotline
1-800-273-8255
Dont wait to take care of yourself because the chore will only get bigger. Take it from me a 43 year old who still doesnt have the courage or the motivation to protect and care for myself. Fight this nightmare however you can and seek the help of good people.
You must be a good guy because you came on here to drop a comment of advice to help others. You didn't have to. You're worth it man!
I'm 48. I discovered C-PTSD a year ago. Just finding a name for all of this changed things for me.
For me, taking care is relatively simple and purely physical:
1. Focus forward after choosing to not look backward into the past.
2. Hold to a consistent sleep schedule.
3. Hold my tongue and my own counsel.
4. Hold to a small group of friends.
5. Cold showers/cold plunge.
6. Journaling, meditate, practice silence.
7. Stretch/yoga.
8. Use lists that lead to recognized goals.
I leave notes to remind myself of my goals each day. Any moment spent in the past is another moment wasted.
How are you man? I think you'd benefit from some kind of therapy for this more formally
Hey Patrick, I’m a 33 year old elementary school teacher from Ohio and I absolutely love your channel! Though you don’t seem to have coined the phrase, your work and analysis of the HSP and helping people identify and work through their past trauma really strikes a true chord with me. You are doing some really unique and profound work on more than one psychological frontier.
As a man, I can really appreciate your perspective and your attempts to connect with the “every man” in America these days… days when it is not always the most comfortable and proud time to be one of the masculine in our society.
Thank you for your continuous work with men and women all over the country. Thank you for all of your amazing videos that you post for all of us followers, both for free and TO free. And thank you for doing your part and pulling your weight in this world to show people that not all men are a part or want to be a part of the toxic masculinity which our American civilization has been plagued by since the times of JQA. Also LOVE the historical perspective!! Wildly fun 🤘
Keep up the amazing and incredibly important work, brother! A lot of us have benefited so much more from your work than we can say in words.
p.s. what is your favorite book re WW2?
Having a single and underequipped father combined with and growing up male until I turned 19 and started HRT has given me a rare kind of insight to gender that I tucked into a nice little box and kicked out of my consciousness. The title and description brought it out and after hearing the "shame attack" segment the box shattered dropping memories like a game item. Which at this point in my healing is the best item I could get. All for the small price of having to become a John Q Adams family expert!
Best wishes with your HRT, and with game item drops towards your path of healing ❤
Wow, the history that you've touched on in this eye-opening podcast has brought a lot of clarity to myself, being from a dysfunctional family as well. The part where you spoke of the triangulation of young John Quincy, regarding his mother and father, sent a surging heat throughout my body, immediately. It was almost breathtaking, as I fell victim to the same treatment by my ex husband and two sons. My heart aches as well for what the Adams men went through as mere children, being forced into adult roles, while forfeiting their youth.
Thank you for this.
I can completely identify from the calm you describe when reading about the life of these historical figures and making connections to mental health. It makes the historical figures that are legendary and beyond reproach seem relatable. Also, it provides a unique human connection with fascinating historical figures that accomplished great things. I really enjoy this kind of content. I hope you create a historical figure series. It’s not only enjoyable to revisit the history but also interesting to create the hypothetical therapy session. Thank you for sharing. 😊
I just found your channel recently. I loved this one, bcuz I have a degree in history. My focus was on Nazi Germany & American eugenics. It's always been tough for me to learn about early American history; it's just not my thing. But your voice paired with the psychology made this very informative & easy to listen to. Love your vids. Thank you for this one, especially!
This was so so interesting. Please make more of these!!
I really love the idea of looking at psychological questions through historical examples. Very interesting and eye-opening on a number of levels. Among other things, I appreciated learning about internal family dynamics that were the norm at the time (decisions made without consulting the mother, etc).
This was so amazing! What an awesome idea. Well done thank you
And most gracious for the list of reading material!
Wow. Thanks so much for this. This made me recall the triangulation in my own growing up, where my mother recruited me as ally against my father when I was 12-ish and on. I've looked back in sadness and horror over this, knowing that my perspective was hugely imbalanced due to identification with my same-sex parent. I was unduly and inappropriately parentified. It seems that children in the JA and JQA families, especially boys (which seem to have predominated), were treated like animals, or even things. Huge distances of time and space from parents, with reunifications many years later, as though feelings and bonding were of no consequence. Of course boys will shut down! The intergenerational attachment wounds look like they were sublimated [?]. Unable to undertand and change his emotional wiring, JQA put his all into nurturing his nation, instead of being there for his family--perhaps the voice of abandonment saying "You have to do something impressive to be loved". You've done something really powerful here. I so appreciate your curiosity, sensitivy, and creativity!
This was absolutely fantastic. Thank you for that wonderful story.
This was powerful. Thank you so much!
Thank you for this!
Wow. This is fantastic!!
This was super interesting! I was really hoping to hear the sessions between you two tho!! Any thoughts of a part 2?????
I listened to this on Spotify a while back and loved it.
Very well done 😊
Very original !
Hello Patrick, is there a possibility you could talk about how cptsd distorsions the perception of the perpretrator?
(im hispanic, sorry for my bad english) There are Millions of videos talking about why someone would attach to unavailable people, but that is not everything. Not once, Never, have i seen people talk about the need of being hurt, the missing the abuse, the way i would actively seek (purposefully and conciously) people who would abuse me like i was before, how i would reach out to terrible people who i knew would treat me badly, humilliate me. I felt guilty and bad when people talked negatively of my abuser, i would try to defend their horrible actions. In my head, its like the image of my abuser has been brainwashed, and i pity them, as if they were the victim, i am self aware, and i know this is terrible, but thats how it works in my head.
I grew up in abuse, and i want familiarity i suppose. Emotionally speaking, i feel like a masochist. However, when i would ask "why do i like people who hurt me?" no one has ever replied.
Im 17, ive went to therapy a couple of times, visited tons of psychologists, i am sorta healthy as of now, want to be, i want to rest, however this wrong feeling is always present deep inside me. Never have i seen anyone who has reached this topic or explored it enough. I like your videos, they make me feel a little bit sane, like what i went through is valid, your advice is like a pat in the back and i learn from it.
Thank you sincerely, have a safe day.
Stockholm syndrome
Also…it’s all got to do with your childhood. You’re feeding a part of you by your actions. Maybe it’s reaffirming you’re not enough,maybe it feeds your guilt? You have got to listen to that voice in your head when it’s happening and choose differently.
And…a must is “somatic therapy” to help heal the trauma that you hold in your body from your abusive childhood.
Hey I'm not a therapist, but when I worked in youth housing we saw the same thing happen over and over: The youth or young adult moved into the clean, orderly, peaceful and comfortable environment, and about 3 weeks in they would start to complain, second-guess their decision, pick fights, feel uncomfortable. It was like clockwork. We theorized that they were so used to being on high alert, hypervigilant, etc. that when their cortisol levels started to drop due to the safety, it felt really uncomfortable to them. We started explaining to new residents that this initial discomfort was something they could expect, and they were able to get past it so they could focus on college and their jobs and goals. Maybe you're not used to the real physical changes that come with safety?
Fantastic podcast
Love the history
I would love to have every week or day!
Thank you, your insights are great teaching tools and so refreshing. Historical figures will never be the same for me😂 😂😂
Nice re-do.
hello^^
It sounds like the diplomatic work was incompatible with a heathy family life. Probably better suited to single people or couples without small kids, especially at that time with the slow transportation.
Worst is i can't describe i not angry im still projecting .603 video 1.10.23
👍
I think all people that dealt with need to put themselves first , in my life 2nd to the Lord , but with that said it times for u to forgive yourself for bad decisions in life because u were making decision like throwing Hail Mary passes , u had no direction , no life training , I’m personally get back in gym discipline diet , take care of some optics , make my connection with Lord stronger and making decisions that benefit me the best , time to be selfish , selfish is good no matter what our screwed up parents said , Bless All my trauma Brothas and Sistas , we were victimized and thrown in this situation, we didn’t have a choice , it wasn’t our fault but it’s our responsibility to have a Great Life
JQA sounds very much like high functioning ASD.
GnR cover band - cool.
I didnt understand the video concept lol
I think a session with Henry VIII would be fascinating. I'd give almost anything to be a fly 🪰 on the wall.
I think you had this video before, right?
Interestingly droll
They take FOREVER to grow up, real men at 25
If you say "the question of what happens to men" one more time I will lose my shit
Ugh…. This whole story is like a generational 2x4 to the forehead!!!