Do You Self-Sabotage? My Full Interview With Amanda Curtin LICSW
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- Опубліковано 12 лис 2024
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Once I reparented myself, the horrible militant voice turned into the cutest sweetest thing ever. I LOVE MY INNER CHILD! She is ADORABLE!!!! Not a horrendous no-good monster. She is a baby that I really really love now.
JEALOUS!
@November Sky it took a long time lol but finally I got my baby back. Think the end of Kill Bill Volume II.
That's awesome 😀 Glad for you 🤗
I’m so happy for you!!
That's wonderful.
I can't thank these two enough for the phrase "Waiting to see if an adult shows up." That put into words for me what my inner child clung to, desperately wished for, and still does.
For me it's so similar. Wanting searching and begging for a nurturing adult to show up for me. And I've got so many other voices that make reparenting seem impossible
I understand🥺
*hugs*
@@orielwiggins2225I can relate. Always looked for the “mother” I needed all my life.
I cried so hard when I realized the same thing. The adult coming to save me has to be me... *cue inner little Jill looking at me like 'oh crap' and adult Jill with a face full of horror and confusion, Both of us eating oreos on the couch at 3AM*
I want this guy to be my therapist. He gets it
Maybe you have to go through it to get it. A lot of therapists don't understand.
I want him to be my dad. God that's therapy paydirt isn't it 😂
'Derailing ourselves is just seeing if an adult is going to show up'
Wow... Thank you Patrick 🙏
My inner child acts up to see if I got her back 🤯 I need to not just KNOW my boundaries but ENFORCE them when I say I will... Sounded obvious but it just sank in fully 🙌
I got us now ❤️
My thoughts EXACTLY! I'm wondering how/ why this never crossed my mind before?!! Lol. Gosh, I have been self-sabotaging myself with inner conflicts of my adult & child. Amazing work!!
Same i cry to knew this before i went to therapy .i just thought about it alot while
When she was talking to the dad and said “shame on you!”, I felt sad for the dad. I wanted to say “He tried his best! He didn’t mean to be mean!” But that was my inner child remembering how mine would justify his actions. Wow! I so needed this!❤️Thank you!
Can relate to this, as that sense of sadness for the dad came up for me, too. My mum's behaviour almost destroyed me and my younger sister, but my inner child and adult struggle to connect the pain to her, directly. The inner child can still hear her voice saying, "I'm your Mum," emphasising the significance and all-encompassing nature of that relationship.
@Molly I used to get the “I’m your mom!” guilt trip, too. She would also say things like “Well, when I’m dead and gone you’ll be wishing I was here to be angry with me!” That’s why it’s so difficult for me to put myself first with anything. I’m always thinking about someone else before myself. Thank you for sharing part of your story🥰
I'm of the opinion that our parents 8 times out of 10 were doing their best it's just the parenting was also based on their wounded children in control.
I read this the other day: "I was still trying to save her so she might save me back."
Believing Me
Ingrid Clayton
@angelawilliamson Of course they were doing the best they could with the tools they had. That fact doesn’t take away my pain, though. For example, if someone accidentally hit me, I’m still going to feel the pain of that strike. Even if they apologize and check on me to see how I’m feeling, that in and of itself does not take away my pain. I have to tend to the wound I received from them. Do you see the point?
I finally had to set boundaries with some friends who chronically cancelled our plans last minute. I regret even bringing it up even though I was respectful and clear. I felt embarrassed that I defended my feelings and needs . No one ever cared for my feelings or needs in childhood. It’s very awkward to even acknowledge my feelings. Ultimately, though I’m glad I took a stand for myself and likely I’ll lose these friendships but at least I was genuine.
wait and see😎🌺
This is a hard one, well done for doing it, no matter the outcome it was really brave and I'm sure your inner child will see that you're standing up for yourself.
Did they get "favors" from you, while saying, "OH lets go here and there and everywhere"! I had a friend who did that and NEVER did one damn thing for me NOR did she EVER stick to a SINGLE plan. It drove me CRAZY! She had me do HUGE favors for her while I was struggling with my chores, I would drop what I was doing and go to her aid! I GHOSTED HER on messenger! I answer her on Facebook ONLY and NEVER text chat with her, she is EXTREMELY manipulative and ONLY talks about herself or OVERLY compliments me. She wants a COUCH now and keeps asking me to find her one SINCE I found her TWO already for a GREAT DEAL, "Hey the puppies need a new couch let me know what you find"! I give her a thumbs UP! No MORE no LESS! TAKE CONTROL!
Did the same thing with a friend who is way more messed up than she appears. My life is more peaceful wo her. She used backing out as a weapon bc she knew I especially wanted to go to a few events and she cancelled all of them! She's more trouble than she's worth. I'm happy with my decision.
@@janettemartin4604 good for you! Hold your boundaries. She'll find another couch elsewhere
That role play had me in so many tears, especially hearing the inner parent talk to the inner child about their father 😭 This was so healing, thank you so much for creating this video.
I can relate, the same experience.
I cried , to have someone protect you like that, to stand up in place of a child
Same here, tears dropping against my will, I couldn't stop myself
I can see why Amanda is such an amazing therapist. I’m grateful that I found one like her who helps me feel safe and learn how to reparent my inner child. I wish everyone could have an Amanda.
The full interview was great. I would still love to see a role play centering on shame. I’m also curious to learn more about that despairing inner child as well and why it’s challenging to find the corresponding inner adult.
Would love to see this too!
Same! Hearing “it’s really hard to re parent the hopeless inner child” at the end of the video was such a downer, especially if you already have a tendency to feel hopeless.
Wow. Amanda speaking to the dad- that was mind-blowing. I’ve been waiting my whole life to hear someone say that to my parents.
It’s weird how most people would agree that a kid deserves more than food and shelter, but once you become an adult, even hinting that your parents were abusive and neglectful and didn’t give you the love and joyful connection you deserved tends to be met with pushback.
Am I supposed to be magically healed simply because time has passed??
Anyhow thanks to Patrick and Amanda for giving the smothered core self a voice. And for calling out the father for his soul-killing “parenting.”
It’s truly amazing to hear those words spoken out loud.
I actually thought a crack in the universe might happen!! 🤣
Adding my vote for more about that despairing, shame-based inner child and what reparenting might look like, please. Thanks for having Amanda on the channel and going into so much detail; you two are a good team!
This was akin to being hit by a tsunami, but instead of being destroyed by it from drowning, it's force lifted me to a higher ground of safety, so that you start to have a bigger picture and insight into the effects of an abusive childhood, and how that inner child living in us now as an adult, projects into how the adult acts, interacts thinks and communicates with their inner and outer world in the present time. Thank you so much for this, it's way beyond helpful, it's powerful and with hard work I believe it is a way to free yourself from what can feel like eternal internal hell. Thank you🙏so much
I’m 77. I wish I had had a therapist like Amanda😢. All these years I never had such a good representation of what inner child work is. No one ever demonstrated how to do this work. Wow! now I get it.
So true 👍
This is just what I need now! I have been self sabotaging my life as a painter (fine art landscapes) for the last few years!!!
Thank you! I have got my paints out again and I'm ready to go! You can see one of my recent colour sketches on the icon of my messages here. Sheringham House Norfolk UK
@@elizabethdarley8646You are extreamly talented!
I never stopped being in touch with my inner-child, the problem is that my inner adult developed to think I was defective and ill and rejected by society, and I grew up in a very isolated reality where I am a full-grown adult who hasn't had many adult experiences. I've struggled to trust the world. My brain brings up traumatic events from middle school as if they happened last week as a means to warn me against what might happen if I enter a social situation. My self-esteem has been co-dependent on productivity and creating impressive works, but I've not been used to being TRULY APPRECIATED for just who I am. I may be 30, but it's like everything that I am was just a shell my child-self created to protect itself. There barely IS a "parent / developed adult" version of me. It's tragic. I do adore what I have inside, which is why I feel so scared of the world and scared of the fact that I'm constantly having to re-assess my adult self and unmask the layers created to survive to uncover more of my TRUE SELF underneath that ego carcass.
🤗
Sir I can't explain in words how much impact this process of reparenting had on my life , life feels more pleasant my confidence and ability to handle hardship increase exponentially and now i can see root of most of my problems
Please never stop uploading
You are great ❤️
Thank you......
Oh, I have one. Shame inner child- the Perfectionist, I am not worthy of love if I can't get it right. (perfect, achieve, whatever). This works in another way too. Feeling normal in daily life can trigger my inner child because If there is not something to achieve then something is wrong. It is not okay to be okay. One must be achieved to earn love.
I'd love to see you all do this with the shameful inner child and the disparing inner child but also the impalusive inner child, the one that leads to binge eating and such.
Amazing. I could actually see a light bulb! This is why I feel so oppositional defiant when I try to get myself to do something I don't want to. Like going to bed instead of watching Netflix! I will definitely need to find more about how to be a healthy adult to myself. I have no frame of reference for that. Thanks sooo much for sharing this!
Holy crap this was emotional especially when Adult P came to stand up to parent in little P’s defense
I responded that ‘he is still terrifying’
WOW. Holy cow, the scenario where Amanda plays the disgusted, disrespectul inner child & Patrick the self-loathing inner adult hit HARD. Thank you both for making me realize a couple of things that are NOT okay, like swearing (I believed people that weren’t OK with swearing were weak, I see where I got that from now). Also since my dad was more of the “wimp” type in our family’s dynamic, I see that that is why I copied the entire strategy for things from my mom. Oddly enough my family has grown immensely from therapy, my mother is no longer abusive, I am just still stuck with many of the behaviors I learned over a decade ago. Thanks to my partner who is so loving, patient & kind and thanks to your channel Patrick I am becoming the man who I always wanted to be and I couldn’t be more thankful. Take care❤
I would absolutely adore a role play with the shamed and despairing inner children. This is so incredibly helpful thank you.
OMG this was a huge Eye opener for me. It awoke alot of hurt, pain, and insecurities issues as I was as a child that I forgot but not really. And I was afraid all the time. I had no one to help me or parent me in a good healthy loving way. To learn how to parent is so important. To be shown how and to experience communicating it. To tell someone that is listening how I feel without being Bullied, beat, yelled at isolated or shamed. I as an adult realized and didn't realize how much I struggled with thus inner child. Thank you for this role play of what this is. Huge to see and understand what I was and still struggling with.
Thank you so much for this Patrick and Amanda. I would love, love, love to see some role plays about parenting the shamed and despairing inner children. I really would benefit from some modelling around that.
This was an incredibly insightful interview, thanks to Patrick and Amanda I'm going to have a sit down afternoon chatting to my inner child about what they want in life and why they are scared
I've never seen anyone so far who's able to hold in as much compassion, care and love that Amanda does ❤ my heart absolutely goes out to her and Patrick! Thank you so much for this gem of a video 💚
I cried a lot watching this and re-living my childhood with alcoholic abusive father. Very powerful and insightful video. Thank you!
Patrick, I LOVE that you've taken your CPTSD and FLIPPED your pain!
Then you chose to help other human beings experiencing CPTSD frustration,
stumbling through life searching for inner peace too. Salute to you, Sir!
#BlessedBeThee🐦
this is fantastic would love to see more roleplay and analysis of the ashamed inner child that amanda was talking about!
WOW! I have absolutely loved Patrick & his videos thus far. However, as much as I hate to admit it I was a little skeptical at first about this "inner child" role-playing stuff. UNTIL TODAY! Omg... When Amanda spoke to the Father & said he will listen & not talk, I started BALLING CRYING!! 😭😭 It reminded me of exactly how I felt at times about my parents. I always wanted them to "just listen" & understand how certain things made me feel. However that NEVER happened, therefore I never felt that anything was resolved. Growing up with constant screaming, chaos, ridicule, shame shame & more shame and then being able to have MY inner adult speak on behalf of MY inner child & verbally being able to say to my parents "Shame on YOU for acting as horrible parents!!" ... Jeez. I am now a believer in this "inner child" work & am SO very thankful for Patrick & Amanda bringing this to light!!
Sooo very blessed 🙌 to have found this channel & these resources, FINALLY at the age of 48!!! WOW, just WOW!!
Bless my sweet little inner child's heart ❤️ for having to endure SO much for SO long! I love you baby girl (inner child) & will be a MUCH better mother than what we experienced!
You were both fantastic in the previous role-play video. Such a helpful resource. For those of us who don’t know what we don’t know, seeing these “how to” demonstrations are invaluable. 🙏
Would you consider doing more of these with some of the other types of inner adult / inner children? Seeing the dialoging modelled for things to try is so very helpful. Thank you!
These role plays are beyond helpful. Thank you both so much!
Thank you! 💜 From both my inner Adult and inner Child. I have been working on building my relationship with my inner Child, but have been at a loss of what healthy parenting even looked like.
Until, this video. These role plays have been magnificent in helping me understand what healthy parenting sounded like. And looked like.
Thank you. So much. 💜
Amanda is such a wizard. I love these videos where you two interact. It's like wisdom on top of knowledge on top of love.
Despite all the interesting information i got out of this, i really wanted to share that my heart melted every time Amanda said "I know", i think this is one of the best answers ever to my inner child - in exactly that empathetic way! ❤🙏Thank you so much for the work you are doing!
From the first time I did an inner child meditation, she was ready to go with me. I don't remember much of my childhood, but I can remember this nagging feeling like something wasn't right. Like I wasn't in the right place for me.
I was a truth teller and a scapegoat. Since I've come to realize I was actually *right* back then, I've been able to show up and love myself more.
I have quite a way to go on pushing myself to try new things, but at the very least, my inner child and I are on the same team (even if she questions me lol.)
I'm curious to know more about the despairing inner child.
Hi patrick, I'd love to see a video on growing up with traumatized parents and how that can affect someone/intergenerational trauma. Your content has been so helpful to me and i am glad there are people like you educating others for free.
About halfway in and the role play brought me to tears. I don’t like being teased and it’s okay not to like it. What if the partner has similar reaction/behavior as dad/difficult internalized past person? Then it reinforces the inner child’s fear. I feel like I have to walk away from most everyone in my life and then I think I’m choosing better but darn if I don’t come to find out that repetition compulsion got me again. Trying to have better relationships but the compulsion to choose abusive people can be so blinding. And the ability to gaslight myself and minimize crappy behavior and blame self is such an internal battle.
‘The adult colludes with the inner child. Then all that’s left is the child running the show…’
Time stamp for right after the role play- 30:37: the role play was outstanding!!!
wow…I literally think this is what’s been going on for me the past 2-3 years. My inner child has been running the show and my adult is going WTF I s wrong with you and why can you not get your crap together?
Absolutely. After another bad experience my adult self is asking why didnt I handle that better? Adding that emotional desperation changes how my words are perceived. Good luck. We are all trying to fix our broken selves.😁
I have issues with rejection, being ignored, and betrayed. I think I have allot of different ways. I feel most of the times I have to wear a mask.
Wow-“the problem I have with you” is a mantra my kid inside leads with. Not cool, kid, we have to agree on respect and stepping back to try to see the good big me does. This is amazing to watch and I love learning this thank you both.
Wow, I learned so much from this! Would love another interview with the hopeless and ashamed child roleplay, I resonated with those examples a lot. Thank you for the amazing work you do, Amanda & Patrick! 💛
This is so helpful!! Do you think you could do a video on reparenting your inner child when they’re attacking someone other than yourself? I find that mine is super critical of others the same way she was criticized and held to high standards and expectations of achievement growing up.
So much nurture! I played this in bed in.a semi-fetal position as I was waking up today. Along with decades of recovery work, this is having a huge effect on my life, my brain! 😊
Thank you so much for this. Unfortunately, I listen to these videos both as an inner child and as a parent who made big mistakes with my own children. Powerful. I appreciate you so much.
SAME!
Same
Amanda's role playing skills are off the charts...
This one got me. I thought about it, I have always thought that I lost the little girl many years ago. I realize she is still there. I didn’t understand why I give in all the time with a smile, another side of me stomps my foot in the sand, the other side of me looks strong and calm while I feel emotions deep inside of me say differently. Thank you
Oh I feel this- how did you realize the little girl was there and actually find her?
Soooooo cool 😢. Thank you both for the experience
This was so great and right where I need to be in my therapy. It is too easy to pretend I'm too busy, too tired for a support group. Sabotaging my own mental help. I'm going to share this with General Physicians who make me feel I'm being defiant by refuse psyche drugs. They do not work for me anyway. I need to be around people who are like me. I've been a good pretender but not when I'm alone. I spend way too much time stuck in my current mistake. If there isn't one my past ones are always there to torment me.😕
Amanda's voice is so soothing and calm. ❤
This was wonderful, Patrick & Amanda! Thank you both so much! ❤❤ My inner child came out and was sobbing, in response to Little Patrick being validated about his "monster" dad. I completely resonated with this.
Would be so grateful if you could do a role play of the ashamed child
First sentence out of Amandas mouth 'There's the child (the true self) that we were born with and there's the one that had to cope in all kinds of disfunctional ways in order to survive'
Bam... That got my attention!
I had a hypnotherapy session a couple years back and I had this 3 year old part of me appear that said 'I'm the real you, the one that watched you go through what went through, not the one that was created BY what you went through'.
How's that for clarification. So it helps me to see that my true inner child, untouched by the trauma exists somewhere inside me and remains a source of strength for me. Thats cool 😄.
This helped give me some hope. Thank you.
I was not prepared for the waterworks. 😭Especially while listening at work. Thank you.
I'm going to divide my life into two eras, before watching this video and after. Wow, I think everyone needs to be introduced to this concept. And this video hit especially home for me, my name being Patrick.
Thank both of you so much👍🏽💥🖤this is sooooo educating & helpful.. greetings from Germany 🇩🇪
Could you please do a video on childhood trauma and how it manifests at work and how to deal with it? Would be very grateful!!
This would be awesome
Yes!
This makes the inner child much more clear to me. In the past when I imagined my inner child I imagined myself as the happy child I sometimes was. But hearing her say that the inner child can be questioning and angry, made a lot more sense for me. When I get angry, I feel out of control. Now I’m realizing this may be my inner child coming out because the most effective strategy was to be angry. Anger was probably the emotion I felt the most as a child, even up until recently.
The role play is extremely helpful to me.
39:00 is exactly how my inner child talks to me constantly whenever I try to do things!!! Groundbreaking omg
What about multi-generational inner child trauma? For 16 years I parented my own child until she ran away. Now I’m asking ‘Well, who was really trying to raise her?’ And I get radio silence. No, I’ve never been brave enough to do any inner child work, but I am aware it’s been an issue for most of my adult life. I feel like “the dead mother”.
Also remember what they are exposed to TODAY! It is FAR more tempting and available! You are not 100% to blame here IF at all! There are SO MANY things that lure a child! You just can't BEAT yourself about it! I KNOW how you worry, MERCY SAKES it is a scary World! GOD BLESS YOU and please be kind to YOU!
Hey friend. Estranged adult child here. I left as soon as I could, and literally crossed to the other side of the planet to get away. Tried to maintain a relationship for years but eventually just couldn't do it anymore. I don't know your daughter but I feel like I may understand a bit. Your insight re: "who was raising her" and recognition of your fear of inner child work says like you already know what you must do! The fact you're watching this video says a lot already :) None of this is easy but I have faith in you! This is coming from a kid who so desperately wanted their own mother to get help and develop some insight because I just couldn't do it anymore. She had a hard life too but in the end we're all adults and responsible for our little corner of the world.
I hope you take the plunge when you are ready. Do it for you. Maybe someday you and your daughter will be able to reconcile, but like you said this has been an issue for a while so maybe it's time to focus on you for a while.
Best of luck!! No one is a lost cause. You got this and you are amazing!
Do the inner child work! You won't regret it. I'm 65 and have been doing it for 6 months. My relationships with my 4 children are just getting better and better....although there's hard times when we talk about the past, we work through it.
Amanda And Patrick, what a blessing! This was beautiful and so helpful and yet insightful.
Loved this. More like this please! Love it when Amanda appears on the channel too.
Thank you so much♥️🙏🔥Wish you and all here a beautiful week💪😉🎶
Fantastic video! It helps greatly to see these scenarios play out.
Make a safe space for yourselves. Treat youself better than they did.
Stick with googling your area for support group. Go by state. Virtual groups may be a good solution. I just started looking myself. I was going to move to San Diego but things are not getting better for me so I'm staying in Virginia for now.
It hurts thinking I can't help my adult children more but like me, you have to help yourself first. Better to put my energy where I can help families who want to be helped. My children know how to trigger me. No doubt I trigger them as well at times. I just cannot allow my later years to be filled with only sadness.
Can't wait for this. Them your so much for these videos. I am so grateful for you to make this is accessible for us. I experienced this with my councillor and benefited greatly. Now my husband is attempting the healing journey and I think this would be a good one to show him.
Dear Patrick: I have been watching your videos for about 1 month, and have been So happy to have found your channel. But today I realized that I have probably been watching Too Often, or Too Fast....as I suddenly felt Triggered at the thought of This one today. I have Saved it....to watch another time. I intend to do that with All your subsequent videos too. I have no way of finding a therapist now....I feel I need time to think and absorb what you've said so far. Thanks for all you do....Sue M.
BREAK THE SELF-HATE CYCLE! WE HAVE TO REGAIN THE PARTS OF OUR BRAIN THAT FRAGMENTED BECAUSE OF FAMILY VIOLENCE & WORK THROUGH OUR REPRESSED MEMORIES & SUFFERING WITH A SUPPORT SYSTEM/ GROUP (such as Children of Alcoholics/Addiction/ therapists) THEN WE HAVE TO PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE NEW HEALTHY EMOTIONAL PHYSICAL EXPRESSIONS (sports, dance, yoga, meditation, art etc.)
Wow. This really takes the stigma away from this type of inner talk. Even though I know that it's helpful, I often feel embarrassed. For anyone who's made a lot of progress with their inner critic and inner child, I hope this is a reminder of how far we've come!
Thank you Patrick and Amanda, these role plays are so helpful 👍
Thanks Patrick God bless you 🙏
My kids said “I hate you! “. I responded good cause that means I’m doing my job as your parent and teaching that there are rules and responsibilities that you won’t like but still much do.
Why did I start watching this and it robbed me a couple of smiles, and then I ended up crying. 👌
30:10 is brilliant!!!! be a healthy adult in these role plays but having no clue how to be a healthy adult because I never grew up with one. Thank you for pointing that out 🙂
I cried so much watching this. 35 and still scared...
Thanks Patrick & Amanda, utter Legends 🥰🥰
So much value in this video, hit like a freight train, incredible.
For the moment, my inner child is Macaulay Culkin 'home alone' and adult is a kind but disembodied spirit.
37:52 BAM!!!!!!
52:52 BAM!!!!!!
Great place to start a deeper dive.
Biggest hugs, you guys ROCK! 💖💎
thank you both for this amazing video....when Amanda told so strongly the father off, I was crying.....I actually remembered one time that I nearly called a police on my dad, only then to back off as I was ashamed that I would do such a bad thing to my own father. amazing what I nearly did, considering it should have been my mother who should have done that in that moment..... Unfortunately then to have been attacked by my dad...
I purchased a teaching session and am practicing inner child dialogue. It makes more sense the more I dig into it.
I would really appreciate a rile play like this video going further with the shamed inner child it's something I struggle with deeply. Thank you for these videos they have had some triggers for me but they have also helped me see how to approach so I'm not so stuck on the action portion of fixing my childhood trauma dialogs with myself and others
Wow. So powerful
What about the inner child who completely freezes up and doesn't say anything during role play? They just sit there frozen, detached, and terrified to speak.
Did you ever get your answer that’s exactly me freeze it’s hard to get out of
Great video! I would really like to learn how to talk so lovingly to myself as Amanda did. It was an art, an absolute art.
Wow! I watched this role play in mental health and I find it exceptionally helpful therapy. Wow! I'm recovering from voilent narsistic child abuse. I find this very helpful Patrick, I really need more of these very helpful podcasts. I really like the woman Amanda (I believe her name is) she's terrific!! Thank you so much for the much needed help 🥀
Brilliant
I just want to cry on the second role play. I love all this 🙏😥💗
Ready for it!
I be been in an abusive relationship for 14 years and it has improved as I have done some work on myself u guys are taking me the rest of the way ....I still feel the broken heart of my child and after watching this and knowing my own childhood I am blown away by intense feelings good for your kindness to show us how we can see things from more angles as "the child" and as the "adult" that I am trying to create. What a. Wonderful thing you are doing I could almost cry but I'm on alot of medication 😂 but really I hope I can one day live without the fear of someone stomping out my effort and the humiliation that comes by those who represent my childhood experiences. You deserve so much for the enlightenment u give us.
Such a great reparenting video and sadly it's difficult to find good reparenting tips and techniques and also how to shut down and work with your negative inner voice to get to what's really going on. That was powerful and healing roleplay with Amanda for the inner child.
This video brought up painful memories/emotions. Thank you for the insight. I have a lot of work to do, but you have assured me that healing is possible.
My inner child i s saying - it doesn’t matter what you say, nothing is going to change. It is always the same no matter what I say or do. 😭😢🥺
Wow cried pretty much the whole way through this I need to rewatch as I had to keep pausing it
I got so MUCH out of this video. Thank you!
Awesome. Thanks for sharing your wisdom, Amanda and Patrick. The info here is spot on, on target, on point. 👍🌻
Patrick youre precious💗 thank you guys
it's funny i watched the abridged version when it was published, and between that and watching the full version i've read in 'the body keeps the score' about the Pesso Boyden therapy (pbsp). and a key part of it is letting the child tell the parent what he needs. The empty chair work reminded me of that, and the explanation from Amanda about releasing the emotions was so instructive.
thanks :)
This was much, much more helpful than I expected. The dialogues where you have a passive inner adult make me first think, hm, ok, well this is how I react to my feelings - but then the dialogues where you modelled healthy, esteemed and loving parenting really brought me down to earth. I spend a lot of time in some level of a triggered state, and hearing Amanda's calm, reassuring confidence, validation, and firmness really gave me some kind of feeling of safety(?) and I found myself feeling very calm and centred too, like the inner child you played out.
Please do more of these, specifically with Amanda, in the same format as this, and I think it would be great for me if you could deal with themes like deep despair and hopelessness, maybe to the degree of feeling suicidal.
This is something that I'm noticing I deal with a lot and don't know how to get out of, and can be triggered by things like being disappointed (e.g. after trying a new activity like rock climbing and things not going like I expected, and me feeling uncomfortable and paranoid of other peoples' looks when I'm there and not having fun - and then beating myself up after that and being miserable and hopeless on the way home (oddly specific, I know)) or by being hungry, by being tired, or by being anxious around uncertain things like having to book flights and hotels for a business trip and idling around not wanting to do it. In each of these scenarios I have a certain want, like the want to eat or the want to book a flight, (just like wanting to ask for a raise in this video), but then some triggered feelings show up from that well of pain, and I tend to cave in like that passive inner adult role play.
Hope I expressed myself clearly enough, and sorry if you already made a video like this; I haven't checked... Thanks for this video, was great!!