4 Hidden Ways Self-Sabotage Undermines Our Success - Terri Cole
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- Опубліковано 15 лип 2024
- What does living your best life look like for you?
How would you spend your time?
What habits would you have or not have?
What's stopping you from living this version of yourself?
There are many reasons, conscious and unconscious, that we stay stuck in unhealthy, limiting, or unsatisfying behaviors.
In this episode, I break down some of those reasons and share questions you can use to identify where you might be self-sabotaging and why. With this awareness, you can make different choices and begin living your ideal life.
Grab the guide for this episode here: www.terricole.com/4-hidden-wa...
Time Stamps
0:00 - Introduction
2:26 - Staying stuck
3:36 - Upper Limit Problem
7:13 - Feeling fundamentally flawed
8:43 - Disloyalty & abandonment
10:42 - Success brings bigger burdens
12:28 - Crime of outshining others
14:22 - Tall poppy syndrome
16:04 - Secondary gain
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• How to STOP Self-Sabot... - How to Stop Self-Sabotage and Live Your Best Life
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• Dealing with Perfectio... - Dealing With Perfectionism
• Quieting Your Inner Cr... - Quieting Your Inner Critic
About Terri Cole
Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, global relationship and empowerment expert, and the author of Boundary Boss-The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen and (Finally) Live Free.
For over two decades, Terri has worked with a diverse group of clients that includes everyone from stay-at-home moms to celebrities and Fortune 500 CEOs.
She has a gift for making complex psychological concepts accessible and actionable so that clients and students achieve sustainable change. She inspires over 450,000 people weekly through her blog, social media platform, signature courses, and her popular podcast, The Terri Cole Show. For more, see www.terricole.com/
Connect With Me
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Resources
Boundary Boss Book: amzn.to/44DZID9
The Boundary Boss Workbook: amzn.to/3Ra7CRU
Insight Timer: insig.ht/cpKnbJB4KDb (I have a bunch of free meditations on here and love this app!)
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#terricoleshow #innercritic #innervoice #limitations
Tell me, which one of the hidden ways we limit our potential resonated with you? Have you experienced an upper limit problem before? How did you overcome it if you did? If you feel stuck, remember to download the guide for tools on how to get UNstuck: www.terricole.com/4-hidden-ways-self-sabotage-undermines-success-guide
Ooh, this was so good! Throughout my career I have accomplished more, faster than my colleagues. Two things happened: some of my colleagues would undermine me through passive-aggression, withholding info, lying, playing me off others, and I would be terminated. Terminated not because of my colleagues' behaviour, but because my superiors felt threatened. Lather, rinse, repeat. I am now looking for a job that will act as a bridge to becoming self-employed. Wish me luck! 🍀
Me too
I'm so sorry to hear that, Melody ❤️ I hope you find that bridge- it sounds like you'd do well as an entrepreneur!
lol! Do we work at the same place?! #soaccurate
@@rhemastewart9750 Haha, unfortunately for me this has happened throughout my career.
A subscription to Terri Cole is SO worth it! Often the podcasts are 'exactly' what I need! Like THIS on self-sabotage.
Yes, altho status quo is not truly as enriching as hoped. I hope I'm not too old to become the ME I long to be! ❤
No one is ever too old for that 💕 Thank you so much for your support, Sherry! I appreciate you being here.
Tall Poppy Syndrome even exists in some families. Excellent episode! Thank you!
Indeed it does. Glad you enjoyed it, Diana 💕
Hi Terri 😊 Thanks so much for this ♥️. This is something that I have been working on. It makes so much sense especially coupled with your “father wound” course. I want to “take off” so bad I can taste it, letting go of suppositions of others. I “took off” 30 years ago with my first career as a hairstylist and opened a salon. People pleasing got the best of me then and I will not let it get the best of me again. Holding back for fear of success ♥️.
You are the best 🥰
Right on, Paula!! ❤️❤️
My challenge is I don’t know what I want. Most life coaching channels talk about careers. I’m retired but I’m certainly not dead. I’m not interested in turning my hobbies and passions (gardening, music, Barbie sewing) into some kind of money generating venture. It’s not always about money. At this stage I guess I just want to be.
What is that one thing you would like to leave to the world, positively contributing before you go ? Part of your legacy ❤
I say, own it! Own that you don't want it to be about money, and you just want to be. That's valid, too. 🙌🙌
@@aurelien5861such a good self-question! 💗🙌
@@aurelien5861such a good comment &question! 💗🙌
I wish l had l mother like you. Your channel helped me so much❤Thank you🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹
That makes me so happy to hear 💕 I'm happy to be anyone's internet mama!
Soooo looking forward to the new book!
❤️❤️❤️
We have “tall poppy syndrome “ here in New England. Particularly in the old mill districts. Here we call it “crabs in a bucket “. It seems to me, the only approved success is if you are from a successful family, or you worked the traditional college and up the ladder. I’m a self carpenter. Not a millionaire by any means long shot, but I take my shots, snubs and dismissive comments all the time for not working for someone else despite being a supportive cheerleader for anyone doing their thing.
Thank you for sharing that info! I'm sorry to hear you've been on the receiving end of those attitudes despite cheerleading others ❤️
Love this, as always.
❤️❤️❤️
Talk poppy syndrome is a big thing in Australia, especially in smaller communities where mindset, beliefs and behaviour change very very slowly, if at all. They love the ‘Aussie battler’ story, but only if you don’t upgrade your life in anyway (bigger home, fancy car, private schools etc). They are okay with you being able to buy them a beer on Friday nights, just so long as you still ‘look’ like them.
Thank you for sharing that 💕
Thank you, this is so helpful ❤ I have found that I really provoke some people, often men, when I talk about my work and I avoid getting into details on my position, since it is not what they expect. Colleagues who know me professionally are fine, but at private social situations I feel I have to keep my head down. So the different expectations from society are real, and can really get to you. I feel your insights will be really helpful going forward. All the best 🌻
Thank you for sharing your experience with us- the different expectations is SO real! ❤️
I love you, you’re girl on fire 🔥
❤️❤️❤️in everything you do it’s magic
Thank youuuu ❤️❤️❤️
True said.. Its some of the deep beliefs, need to be changed. ❤Ty Terri for info. Lov ur work
❤️❤️❤️
Thanks
You're welcome!
Yessss ... Self-sabotage is right, and alcohol is an unsustainable activity for sure!! Please do an episode on that and consider inviting Annie Grace!! This naked mind
Until I get that video out, I have talked about it a little here (just not this particular incident): ua-cam.com/video/_4h1gz4Z4uc/v-deo.html and I've also had Ruby Warrington on to talk about getting sober: ua-cam.com/video/foo9ooeo2gQ/v-deo.html ❤️
Yes I do stay stuck because of domineering husband and physical pain, that has been a real issue keeping me small
I'm so sorry to hear that ❤️
what I’ve learned about myself is that I should’ve been attentive to these topics years and decades ago. I am now 68 and I listen to some of your brilliant content and it makes me frustrated that I am having this Renaissance at this point in life. I think I am too old to change, how do you suggest people of my age range tackle some of these topics of personal growth? I get too mired down in missed opportunities that are realistically too long gone to benefit from. does this make sense??
It makes sense and I am witnessing you with compassion 💕 I don't believe we are ever too old to change. We hopefully have lots and lots of years left in which to make better, more mindful decisions and attract more fulfilling relationships/friendships in our lives.
But we do need to mourn and grieve those lost opportunities and give ourselves grace for what we did in the past. I speak more about it in this video, at the 7:52 time stamp: ua-cam.com/video/AJXBsiJJiUE/v-deo.htmlsi=tqYxwvcIlkkYGN94&t=472
And I touch on it here as well (in a bit of a different way): ua-cam.com/video/Okw-g4mwPk0/v-deo.html
@@terri_cole thanks 🙏 ❤️. putting on my positivity hat to read this again.
🇺🇸💫 GC 🦅 👍⚘⚘⚘🕊🕊🕊здраствуите да ти тошн тотяа мне ваис нагли нагли спасиба пака