Thanks Brad. My mum died a few weeks ago. You talking about being in the hospital and at the funeral being the only one keeping it together resonated a lot... She was an alcoholic and died of liver problems. She wasn't particularly old. I dunno, it all seemed so pointless and entirely avoidable. Its hard not to beat yourself up about it. Been up and down and having a bit of a 'freak out' today incidentally and this video helped. P.s Enjoying the channel in general. Only just discovered it. Had the pleasure of meeting you a couple of times in Manchester, England a few years ago and its nice to hear you talk again. Dig what you do man. Cheers.
Thanks for this, Brad. Having gone through the AIDS plague I've seen many reactions to death and dying including in myself and wish it got easier to deal with over time but that just hasn't been my experience. Zazen makes it all bearable somehow.
This struck a chord in me. After my mother died I was the only one not freaking out and getting hysterical. I didn't feel detached from the experience of her death, rather I felt that "well, this is the way things happen" to put it simply. My mether died unexpectedly and obvoiusly I didn't have a chance to say goodbye and all that stuff - and soon I was confronted by my family - apparently they were worried I wasn't "feeling" enough. And only then I felt that there HAD to be something wrong with me, I felt extreme guilt and got depressed for a couple of years... UNTIL I got into buddhism and Zen particularly. Everything started to make sense then. So I guess my point here is - thank you. And thank you for the idea of hardcore zen. I always thought that there has to be more (and when I say more I mean LESS) to buddhism. The non-bullshit approach of soto and your writing kind of gave me a path on which I finally feel comfortable. Even if I don't.
Very timely Brad. I'm 43 and going through my first serious encounters with mortality and nothing has prepared me for how my mind has freaked out. I like how you compared zazen to living with dying and such. Sorry I can't really put it into the words I want. I really hope I meet you one day.
I talked my father through his death. It wasn't something I thought about. He was in ICU in a private area. I jumped up and started begging him to died, saying it was time to let go. He had wanted to die as he was often aware of his dementia which caused him great humiliation. In many ways, he brought himself to the brink of death by going out on the coldest day in January in a spring coat. It isn't that no one was watching him. There was a ten minute window and he used it. Instead of feeling that I had to save his life, I felt I had to help him leave his life. Living would have been torture for him. But this wasn't the same as pulling the plug and mourning. I became an active participant. I often talk about his death as being good. He had my sister-in-law for whom he had always had the hots and his granddaughter whom he loved. He was surrounded by the the three women he loved. I include myself in this picture. Nevertheless, I have always felt that I lied to him. I told him that my mother was waiting for him. I knew this is what he needed and wanted to hear. I also realized that his death was the best outcome for his situation. Nevertheless, I went against the instincts to help save his life. On some level, I have always guilty for lying because I didn't really know whether my mother was there. Thank you, Brad for another meaningful talk. Stay safe.
Thanks Brad. My father is dying and I am not sure what to feel. I know that sitting and staring at a wall is helping though. Don't ask me how. just is.
The thing that cares about life, stops at the same time life does. The thing that cares about life can however leave a tradition for the individual life to foster life in general, and in that, find true purpose and meaning as the individual drifts away with time, but fulfilled.
Along with getting old and suffering yes death bothers me or losing someone I love bothers me too. Yes I have in some ways obsessed over it but I'm trying to be of a sound mind about it because I would like to be grounded in my faith which has to do with that I hace come from an awesome creator that loves me and has a plan for my life. That life is so spectacular and that death should have those characteristics as well balance its good and its bad. Feel me?
Interesting piece once again, on an unavoidably imminent, relevant topic. Our position with birth and death and "the inbetween" is quite an adventure, again the words tend to stumble highly likely. What is the nature of death and our constant interaction in moment to moment flow with it... There appears to be a heavily high link between birth, death and living. Death comes in many ways, as you said in the video about the year that you wrote about in your book. Our words are so quick to dissolve the nature of reality into categorized labels, which tend to cut connections. Maybe by saying that I am enforcing the lure of zen, although it truly expresses throught constant experience, thankfully. Perhaps that is why I seem to have "stuck with it" too. Or something like that. This also brings to mind an interesting piece, a "fruitful dialogue" about Death with J. Krishnamurti (a lot of similarities with "zen outlook" can be found, among other things to process through): ua-cam.com/video/RK4UoJpkv_M/v-deo.html
I have no idea where I heard or read this, or if it’s from any Zen teaching, it was a long time ago, I know it was around age 13 when I read or heard of it so I might be conflating it with Zen because I had received a little book of zen koans for Christmas or something. But the phrase is “Being is an illusion, only doing exists.” So when you’re “a human being, sitting zazen” you’re actually just “sitting zazen”, the cells in your body aren’t “being human” they’re just “doing human stuff”, I guess that’s how it’s intended. Brad is that a zen thing? Also I have no idea how to practically apply that to study or zazen, it’s just kind of an earworm when I’m talking to myself about zen sometimes
Thanks Brad, I also found your video on "Zen and Obsession" ua-cam.com/video/Q4imngqpmTQ/v-deo.html helped on this subject as well. I appreciate you taking the time and making this video.
I like to contrast this deGrasse quote with the Shobo's "just life" : "Why fear death? Why does death need to be anything other than the way it was before you were born?"
Yeah, I think he's pointing toward a non-metaphysical non-existence, which flies in the face of past lives and reincarnation. Problem being many experienced meditators say past lives actually exist, even modern masters like Ajahn Brahm who claim to have recalled his. However, from a certain perspective, these views aren't necessarily incompatible.
THE WEAVER’S DAUGHTER The Weaver’s Daughter was 16 years old when she heard a sermon from the Buddha on the uncertainty of life and the certainty of death. The maiden decided on the spot to take up the Buddha’s advice that one should practise meditation on death at all time. For the next three years she conscientiously meditated on death day and night. One day, the Buddha, while surveying the world with his divine eye, saw that the maiden’s mind was ready to understand His Teaching. So He set off to find her. When she heard that the Buddha was coming to town, her heart was filled with much joy and she wanted to go immediately to pay her respect to the Buddha. But at that moment, her father told her to run an errand for him. Reluctantly, she agreed to but she knew that would take up much time and she would be late for the Buddha’s sermon. Meanwhile, the Buddha had finished lunch and sat down in preparation to give His sermon. But when He saw that the maiden was not among the crowd, He said, “I came here for the sake of a certain maiden. As yet she could not be here. I will start when she is here.” So the whole gathering waited silently for her. Finally, the maiden finished her work and set off for her father’s workshop. On the way, she passed the congregation and stood gazing at the Buddha. He also lifted His head and gazed at her. By His manner of looking at her, she knew that He wanted to speak to her and she was the very reason why He came to the town. At that point, the Buddha knew that her death was imminent that day and that if He did not preach to her, she would die and her future birth would be uncertain. But if she did listen to his sermon, she would attain to the Fruit and that she would be reborn in the Tusita heaven. The maiden approached the Buddha and He asked her, “Maiden, where are you from?” “I know not, Reverend Sir.” “Where are you going to?” “I know not, Reverend Sir.” “You know not?” “I know, Reverend Sir.” “You know?” “I know not, Reverend Sir.” The congregation was offended that she did not reply to the Buddha properly. They felt that she should have answered ‘from the Weaver’s house when asked ‘where she was from’, and ‘to the Weaver’s workshop’ when asked ‘where she was going to’. The Buddha asked the maiden to explain her answers. She said, “Reverend Sir, you knew that I came from my father’s house so when you asked me where I was from, you meant where was I from before being born into this life and that I do not know. And when you asked where I was going to, you meant where would I be reborn after I die and that I do not know. To both questions, I do not have the answers.” The Buddha praised her for answering rightly. Then, He said, “When I asked ‘you know not’ why did you say ‘I know’ and when I asked you ‘you know’ you replied ‘I know not’.” The maiden said, “Reverend Sir, I replied ‘I know’ because I know I will surely die. But I replied ‘I know not’, because I know not when that would take place.” The Buddha praised her for getting both answers right again and admonished the congregation her replies. He then pronounced a stanza : “Blind is this world; few are there that see, As few go to heaven as birds escape from a net.” With that she was established in the Fruit. Later that day, the maiden was accidentally stabbed by the tip of her father’s weaving loom and as the Buddha had predicted, she died from her injury. She was reborn in the Tusita heaven.
![Method Writing: The First Four Concepts - Jack Grapes [FULL INTERVIEW]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/ba9jAVzADY0/mqdefault.jpg)
Going back and watching you’re older videos and came across this one. It’s probably one of my favorites now. Really appreciate it.
Thanks Brad. My mum died a few weeks ago. You talking about being in the hospital and at the funeral being the only one keeping it together resonated a lot... She was an alcoholic and died of liver problems. She wasn't particularly old. I dunno, it all seemed so pointless and entirely avoidable. Its hard not to beat yourself up about it. Been up and down and having a bit of a 'freak out' today incidentally and this video helped. P.s Enjoying the channel in general. Only just discovered it. Had the pleasure of meeting you a couple of times in Manchester, England a few years ago and its nice to hear you talk again. Dig what you do man. Cheers.
Thank you!
Thanks for this, Brad. Having gone through the AIDS plague I've seen many reactions to death and dying including in myself and wish it got easier to deal with over time but that just hasn't been my experience. Zazen makes it all bearable somehow.
This struck a chord in me. After my mother died I was the only one not freaking out and getting hysterical. I didn't feel detached from the experience of her death, rather I felt that "well, this is the way things happen" to put it simply. My mether died unexpectedly and obvoiusly I didn't have a chance to say goodbye and all that stuff - and soon I was confronted by my family - apparently they were worried I wasn't "feeling" enough. And only then I felt that there HAD to be something wrong with me, I felt extreme guilt and got depressed for a couple of years... UNTIL I got into buddhism and Zen particularly. Everything started to make sense then.
So I guess my point here is - thank you.
And thank you for the idea of hardcore zen. I always thought that there has to be more (and when I say more I mean LESS) to buddhism. The non-bullshit approach of soto and your writing kind of gave me a path on which I finally feel comfortable. Even if I don't.
Very timely Brad. I'm 43 and going through my first serious encounters with mortality and nothing has prepared me for how my mind has freaked out. I like how you compared zazen to living with dying and such. Sorry I can't really put it into the words I want. I really hope I meet you one day.
I talked my father through his death. It wasn't something I thought about. He was in ICU in a private area. I jumped up and started begging him to died, saying it was time to let go. He had wanted to die as he was often aware of his dementia which caused him great humiliation. In many ways, he brought himself to the brink of death by going out on the coldest day in January in a spring coat. It isn't that no one was watching him. There was a ten minute window and he used it. Instead of feeling that I had to save his life, I felt I had to help him leave his life. Living would have been torture for him. But this wasn't the same as pulling the plug and mourning. I became an active participant. I often talk about his death as being good. He had my sister-in-law for whom he had always had the hots and his granddaughter whom he loved. He was surrounded by the the three women he loved. I include myself in this picture. Nevertheless, I have always felt that I lied to him. I told him that my mother was waiting for him. I knew this is what he needed and wanted to hear. I also realized that his death was the best outcome for his situation. Nevertheless, I went against the instincts to help save his life. On some level, I have always guilty for lying because I didn't really know whether my mother was there. Thank you, Brad for another meaningful talk. Stay safe.
"Its not death that bothers me...its the dying!" -Woody Allen.
Thanks Brad. My father is dying and I am not sure what to feel. I know that sitting and staring at a wall is helping though. Don't ask me how. just is.
Yeah. I've found that to be the case too in similar situations.
The thing that cares about life, stops at the same time life does. The thing that cares about life can however leave a tradition for the individual life to foster life in general, and in that, find true purpose and meaning as the individual drifts away with time, but fulfilled.
I thank you as well Brad.
Excellent and well grounded talk - Thanks :-)
Along with getting old and suffering yes death bothers me or losing someone I love bothers me too. Yes I have in some ways obsessed over it but I'm trying to be of a sound mind about it because I would like to be grounded in my faith which has to do with that I hace come from an awesome creator that loves me and has a plan for my life. That life is so spectacular and that death should have those characteristics as well balance its good and its bad. Feel me?
Interesting piece once again, on an unavoidably imminent, relevant topic. Our position with birth and death and "the inbetween" is quite an adventure, again the words tend to stumble highly likely. What is the nature of death and our constant interaction in moment to moment flow with it... There appears to be a heavily high link between birth, death and living. Death comes in many ways, as you said in the video about the year that you wrote about in your book. Our words are so quick to dissolve the nature of reality into categorized labels, which tend to cut connections. Maybe by saying that I am enforcing the lure of zen, although it truly expresses throught constant experience, thankfully. Perhaps that is why I seem to have "stuck with it" too. Or something like that. This also brings to mind an interesting piece, a "fruitful dialogue" about Death with J. Krishnamurti (a lot of similarities with "zen outlook" can be found, among other things to process through): ua-cam.com/video/RK4UoJpkv_M/v-deo.html
Regarding the phrase 'sentient being'...what is meant by 'being'?
It's hard to say.
I have no idea where I heard or read this, or if it’s from any Zen teaching, it was a long time ago, I know it was around age 13 when I read or heard of it so I might be conflating it with Zen because I had received a little book of zen koans for Christmas or something. But the phrase is “Being is an illusion, only doing exists.” So when you’re “a human being, sitting zazen” you’re actually just “sitting zazen”, the cells in your body aren’t “being human” they’re just “doing human stuff”, I guess that’s how it’s intended. Brad is that a zen thing? Also I have no idea how to practically apply that to study or zazen, it’s just kind of an earworm when I’m talking to myself about zen sometimes
@@pinkfloydguy7781 If 'being' is an illusion...why do you keep using the word 'you'?
Teller3448 no comment lol
Thanks Brad, I also found your video on "Zen and Obsession" ua-cam.com/video/Q4imngqpmTQ/v-deo.html helped on this subject as well. I appreciate you taking the time and making this video.
I like to contrast this deGrasse quote with the Shobo's "just life" : "Why fear death? Why does death need to be anything other than the way it was before you were born?"
That's a good quote. Of course, I'm not really sure what it was like before I was born...
Yeah, I think he's pointing toward a non-metaphysical non-existence, which flies in the face of past lives and reincarnation. Problem being many experienced meditators say past lives actually exist, even modern masters like Ajahn Brahm who claim to have recalled his. However, from a certain perspective, these views aren't necessarily incompatible.
THE WEAVER’S DAUGHTER
The Weaver’s Daughter was 16 years old when she heard a sermon from the Buddha on the uncertainty of life and the certainty of death. The maiden decided on the spot to take up the Buddha’s advice that one should practise meditation on death at all time. For the next three years she conscientiously meditated on death day and night.
One day, the Buddha, while surveying the world with his divine eye, saw that the maiden’s mind was ready to understand His Teaching. So He set off to find her. When she heard that the Buddha was coming to town, her heart was filled with much joy and she wanted to go immediately to pay her respect to the Buddha. But at that moment, her father told her to run an errand for him. Reluctantly, she agreed to but she knew that would take up much time and she would be late for the Buddha’s sermon.
Meanwhile, the Buddha had finished lunch and sat down in preparation to give His sermon. But when He saw that the maiden was not among the crowd, He said, “I came here for the sake of a certain maiden. As yet she could not be here. I will start when she is here.” So the whole gathering waited silently for her.
Finally, the maiden finished her work and set off for her father’s workshop. On the way, she passed the congregation and stood gazing at the Buddha. He also lifted His head and gazed at her. By His manner of looking at her, she knew that He wanted to speak to her and she was the very reason why He came to the town. At that point, the Buddha knew that her death was imminent that day and that if He did not preach to her, she would die and her future birth would be uncertain. But if she did listen to his sermon, she would attain to the Fruit and that she would be reborn in the Tusita heaven.
The maiden approached the Buddha and He asked her, “Maiden, where are you from?”
“I know not, Reverend Sir.”
“Where are you going to?”
“I know not, Reverend Sir.”
“You know not?”
“I know, Reverend Sir.”
“You know?”
“I know not, Reverend Sir.”
The congregation was offended that she did not reply to the Buddha properly. They felt that she should have answered ‘from the Weaver’s house when asked ‘where she was from’, and ‘to the Weaver’s workshop’ when asked ‘where she was going to’.
The Buddha asked the maiden to explain her answers. She said, “Reverend Sir, you knew that I came from my father’s house so when you asked me where I was from, you meant where was I from before being born into this life and that I do not know. And when you asked where I was going to, you meant where would I be reborn after I die and that I do not know. To both questions, I do not have the answers.”
The Buddha praised her for answering rightly. Then, He said, “When I asked ‘you know not’ why did you say ‘I know’ and when I asked you ‘you know’ you replied ‘I know not’.”
The maiden said, “Reverend Sir, I replied ‘I know’ because I know I will surely die. But I replied ‘I know not’, because I know not when that would take place.” The Buddha praised her for getting both answers right again and admonished the congregation her replies. He then pronounced a stanza :
“Blind is this world; few are there that see,
As few go to heaven as birds escape from a net.”
With that she was established in the Fruit. Later that day, the maiden was accidentally stabbed by the tip of her father’s weaving loom and as the Buddha had predicted, she died from her injury. She was reborn in the Tusita heaven.
Thanks for that story!