This show did a wonderful way of portraying incompatible couples. Sure they did love each other, but they struggled to make it work and overall it couldn't work.
Did they love each other? I see more love shown by Todd to Mr Peanautbutter than what Diane shows to him, what she shows seems more of a physical attraction, from start to finish, and Mr Peanautbutter shows loving her not as Diane but as his GF, as a placeholder, the only moment that I can remember that he shows love for her directly is the last fight, every other gesture of love I see is not directed at her, because it ignores what she wants for what a GF should want in his mind.
@@alenasenie6928 No, Mr Peanutbutter DID love Diane and would go out of his way to do things she liked. ie: her entire birthday itinerary was hand picked based off what Mr Peanutbutter knew Diane loved, until the surprise party.
@@alenasenie6928 Also, Diane loves Mr Peanutbutter because he is everything she is not: confident, positive and charismatic. She also wanted to be those things, but it came from a place of forced positivity. I think we've all fallen into the trap of changing ourselves in relationships because we don't like who we are at the moment.
@@alenasenie6928 Sure, I believe they did, and continued to even after their divorce. There are lots of ways to love people. Like, think about it this way. You've probably got a friend you absolutely adore, but you'd be completely wretched roommates because of fundamental differences in how you live your life. Right? Or maybe you've got a family member you only started getting along with after you stopped living in the same house together. Loving someone doesn't mean you should share you life with them in the sort of way married couples do, and unfortunately that was the case for Diane and PB.
That weird moment when a cartoon about a woman dating a man with a dog head is more emotionally realistic than live action tv or movies. Best part of it is mr peanut butter wants to be a good bf but he does it through the sense of a tv drama with ratings boasting moments vs the day to day friendship dating usually goes it.
"a woman dating a man with a dog head"← *That is not a man with a dog head.* That is a dog with a human looking body obtained through divergent evolution or through a parallel universe where it is possible for humans to breed with animals and create humanoid hybrids.
Well? She's an intellectual, and that whole gesture just kind of looked more condescending when I look back on the show. He kind of treated her like a child. That whole 'OVER THE TOPE D" thing can only go so far. And it is really mean spirited IRL when a spouse or a partner doesn't support you and back up your metaphorical plays. Was she supposed to take that sort of condescension? He even criticized her writing at the end of the show. That would alienate anyone. And it shows some certain lack of respect.
That, the red flags, and the drip finally stops were lines I still think about almost daily. They've impacted me so much. Maybe I'll rewatch the entire show and put the most impactful/memorable lines in each season. Not every season's Fuck line, but the lines that stuck with me the most.
They did what the cowards of How I Met Your Mother couldn't. They showed that sometimes it doesn't matter how much you live someone, neither of you would be happy in that life
literally this yes oh my god! Ted and Robin tried so many times but they wanted vastly different things and acknowledged that so many times just for the writers to force them back together at the last second, conveniently when they wouldn't have to show the audience how that played out after the fact. PB and Diane also tried so many times and PB tried so many grand gestures to fix things but ultimately had to realize their relationship couldn't be saved and wasn't worth forcing anymore. And their relationship and story is much more impactful because of it.
It’s still mind-boggling how many viewers blamed Diane for her marriage to Mr. Peanut Butter failing, until the Halloween episode revealed that Mr. Peanut Butter treated all of his wives the exact same way. And, that was the main issue with Mr. Peanut Butter, he was too happy-go-lucky to take any problems seriously. We know he could express his emotions as we all saw with his brother, which is why his treatment of his wives were so terrible.
Not to mention that the Halloween episode showed that Mr Peanut Butter behaved in the same way for literal decades. He never matured, and as he grew older (but not wiser), his partners kept being of around the same age-range, with the latest one (the pug) being 20-something when he was around 50.
It's common for a problematic male/female relationship in media to have fans portray the woman as the problem if she is in any way assertive. Like how perfectly reasonable it is for Skylar White to be concerned about her meth kingpin husband but is somehow the bad guy.
@nbac26 I am going to be honest that felt like a retcon because previously his first wife was shown as emotionally abusive and wanted to hammer the notion he was the problem
@@92JazzQueenTwo people can’t be bad in a relationship? I saw them both as a problem. For themselves and their relationship. We saw Mr. PB and Katrina long after their divorce, when he was running for gov. The fact of PB himself is he goes EXCLUSIVELY for early 20 year olds. Is that not strange to you? Or is that your “natural order” and you’d fuck a 6 year old if that was legal? Both people are shit. I don’t see anyone defend Katrina, but I see droves of you people claim PB is just a normal, natural man who has every right to go after young women.
Hard disagree with Guy supporting Diane in her crusades to the point of self destruction, the key point of his characterization was that he supported Diane but also advocated for boundaries (Going on antidepressants, etc).
@@manofmagic1803 This is real, but also kind of taboo to talk about. People expect you to have everything figured out by the momento you have a relationship. But, they actually make you mature and know yourself better in a way. It's still painful af tho
My boyfriend and I broke up earlier this year in February. I recently found these Bojack relationship videos and I find them to be so reassuring that my own break up really was what needed to happen for both of us to grow as individuals. Thank you for continuing to make this series and I can't for the next one.
Sometimes it is no one's fault, just different places in life, those ones are the hardest. In contrast there are people that are at fault in literally every break up, like my father, he is a serial cheater, so, every break up in his life is his fault, and he has always had someone right there to continue in a relationship until he also cheats them.
@@Phyco_cielo Yes. Sometimes you will have moments where you think it's your fault but that happens but if you have them all the time then therapy is one of the options.
isn't it kind of poetic?? I mean Diane ends up finishing her friendship with Bojack while Mr. Peanutbutter starts his friendship with him! I don't think that's a coincidence either but who knows. 😂 excellent video btw! I love these two. 💕
I think Diane is very much like Bojack (they even state this I the show I think) And Mr. Peanutbutter got just the tiniest peak into Diane's inner workings. He can only start the friendship with BJ because they all grew: Diane knows herself too well to let someone who is so much like her pull her down, Mr. PB now sees through his relationship patterns and puts friendship first and Bojack can allow himself to be around positivity
I remember when I first watched the show and I was like in my late teens, and I saw Diane and Bojack would be perfect together( my traumatized mind lol ) a DECADE LATER I can honestly say.. it’s perfect where they ended off.. let bygones be bygones.. maybe a merry Christmas… it’s been a while…? you know ?
@@brotchenkorner3944 I think with mr.peanut butter is interesting like he’s extra to the point of narcissism, but he isn’t really inherently evil trying to be mean to people… He just had to learn how to really relate to Bojack and Diane on a more humane level I feel… great analysis…
a little funny that at 2:39 when you state that they are fundamentally different it’s a shot of them eating the same meal in completely different ways, mr peanut butter with a plate and fork and Diane with a bowl and spoon.
They simply weren’t compatible. I find it a bit odd to see people blaming one party in particular. I think they loved eachother, but with their individual personalities and flaws… it just wasn’t going to happen.
I have to object to the phrase "wallows in sadness", which makes it sound like she chose her emotional state at the time. She was suffering survivor's guilt (a colloquial term for PTSD caused by the death of others), big time. Her behavior checks every requirement for the diagnosis.
About the relationship between Mr Peanutbutter and his brother, it is actually shown that after the scare he had their relationship got even stronger, in the last season, when he is talking with Pickles, he says how his brother talked to him about how he feels in his marriage, a negative feeling, so it is something bad happening in the peninsula, but they are talking about it, it shows Mr Peanautbutter was somehow sheltered about the reality of his family, this is also shown during Philbert, when he realizes people lied to him about loved ones dying by making a story, all his family knew the truth but him.
The thing about PB is that he’s happy and tries to be nice. And that is enough for some people. No one wants to think happy, nice people can hurt you because they don’t mean to. But not meaning to doesn’t mean you didn’t do it.
They were simply not compatible. Sometimes, you get into a relationship with someone, and you have fun with them when it's more casual. Once you commit, the flaws in your relationship become more apparent. Eventually, the sunk cost fallacy takes over.
One of my favorite things about Bojack is seeing the parallels of his relationship with herb and his relationship with Kelsey. I'd love it if you'd cover that.
I completely agree, although in my opinion the main reason they both got married so quickly was Bojack lol For Mr. Peanutbutter because he felt challenged by Bojack, and was afraid of losing Diane since he perceived that Bojack was attracted to Diane but at the same time Bojack understood and comprehended Diane in ways that he couldn't (And it was true, but not in a romantic way, but it's Bojack, of course he would try to make it romantic and sexual XD) For Diane to completely avoid and reject Bojack's romantic courtship XDXD And the reason, and this is a bit of a theory, is because Bojack really understood Diane because they are both so similar and have similar childhoods, but while Bojack and his narcissism saw this as "destiny" (And a form of validation to his shitty way of being, since he considers Diane as "good", and if she's okay then he is too lol), for Diane who basically hates herself, hates her childhood, hates how her traumas define her, and wants to improve as a person (That's why she always tried to change her environment and herself), she saw a relationship with Bojack as a dead end or something that would make her hate herself more over time because it would make her worse as a person (And she's not wrong, when she got depressed and ended up at Bojack's house for months, the two of them really fed off each other's traumas to be the worst version of themselves). The thing is, I think Diane got married quickly to "escape" from a possible romantic relationship with Bojack, and also because she didn't want to make the mistake of choosing "the bad guy" over the "good guy" lol But as always, this show is not about black and white, since both options were bad lolol But yes, thanks to her experience with Mr. Peatnutbutter, she was able to find herself, and she found Guy
what makes this story so wonderful is that this is an incredibly human thing that people go through and it's very nuanced and multi-faceted (though you did a great job summing it up in 4 points lol) and an often natural progression of incompatible relationships. I have never been someone that solely blames either of them but boy, do you see a lot of people who only know how to blame diane in all this as though she isn't allowed to be a whole ass human that is growing and changing and learning who she is and what she wants !
7:47 that's such a great distinction between them and also aligns with how Diane is closer friends with Bojack and Mr. Peanutbutter is closer friends with Todd. Diane is cynical largely because of her upbringing (coming from a neglectful/emotionally abusive family + childhood bullying) and her values (feminism and social justice; both how they inform her worldview and how the world responds to her speaking out) - Bojack's cynicism is related to his background (emotionally + physically abusive parents) but also due to his self-sabotage. They have a common ground which connects them but also come at it from different perspectives which divides them. Todd has a different experience than Mr. Peanutbutter but both have a really positive outlook that they retain like 90% of the time (the occasional rock opera sabotage or divorce being the other 10%) partly because, as Bojack PC and Jorge each point out, they both continually fail upwards. Things just work out for them.
@@zahraemmamohamed2497 It's not that it's bad, exactly, but people don't break up for no reason. It's entirely possible that even if you've both grown and changed, the little things about them that used to needle you and vice versa are still there. Exes can get back together, but the likelihood that your old issues are still issues is very high. People will always tell you not to bother with experiences that might be painful, but like. Life involves a lot of pain. Try it, but recognize where and when the pain is happening, try to learn from it.
I would disagree with them not being affectionate with each other. They were and they liked being around each other and loved each other as individuals but together, they just didn't mix, like oil and water. It's hard to be able to tell when you're just not working out with a person, if you really love them. Throughout they honored their relationship and marriage kept each other in mind and never cheated. The only time Mr. Peanut butter low-key cheated when their wedding was ending and he got along with that waitress girl. Diane also met the Bison dude after their marriage ended. It's hard to accept that things aren't working when you're trying so hard to make them work.
"they just didn't mix, like oil and water." I got reminded of Brandy and Mr. Whiskers with that line..... (I know some here might not know this show.....)
I forgot who pointed it out, but a character stated that Mr. Peanutbutter has a habit of only dating and sleeping with girls significantly younger than him (20s), with Diane being the exception. They point out that as a 53 year old man, the fact that he has no success dating his own age is because of the fact that he refuses to address his lack in maturity, and expects girls in their early and mid 20s to stay the same too when they're still developing mentally and emotionally. His main flaw is his naïvety and subtle stubbornness to view everything as "perfect" and "happy-go-lucky", the mindset often portrayed by young children. That is why he attracts women like Diane, who by all means is nowhere near as bad as he is, but is also emotionally stunted from not having a proper childhood, eager to rush into a marriage with a man over a decade older than her and hoping for the stability and partnership that she isn't ready for; that PBM cant provide due to his own immaturity and insecurities despite having the funds to provide for Diane and a family. Edit: Corrections. Diane was the one to point out how he only dates women half his age with little-no adult experiences. Diane was 25 when they got in contact with each other.
i really dont think diane took the hank situation 'too far'. She was only acting upon what she believes in. Nothing about it was too far. Nobody else was standing up for the victims of hank. There was a reason why she had to take a stand on it, no one else would
It's weird to me that Diane and Mr. Peanutbutter date for 7 years before the start of the show but somehow it takes actually getting married for them to realize they aren't that compatible. The breakup feels like it comes 3-4 years too late, especially for people of their age. It's hard to believe Diane never became restless or Mr. Peanutbutter insecure at any point before season 1 of the show.
I agree it’s weird, I do remember being so young and insecure tho. I think that plays into what she explains to him at the Halloween party. He almost targets these young ambitious girls who are content with the way things are. I honestly think because of her rejection of her family she really clings to certain securities he gives her. I think a theme of bad relationships is it should have ended 3 years ago but young people really don’t give up and think there’s no problems.
Honestly a lot of couples do this. After a few years people just become compliant and are scared to leave their situation. I mean, I currently know some couples that have been together for DECADES that are miserable with each-other...but it's all they know, so they can't change or leave.
@@xanecho I mean, it happened with Taylor and Joe that were deemed as inseparable by the media 🤷♀. Sometimes it just doesn't work despite how much you cared for them.
Time to get vulnerable in a youtube comment section again, yeehaw! I was watching this series with my ex a few years back, and that whole argument leading up to them eventually breaking up, Diane's "I'm so tired of squinting" really woke me up. I will not compare my ex to Mr.Peanutbutter honestly he was more like Bojack in all the worst way, but I spent 10 years with him, I lost experiences of my late teens and early 20's stuck with him. It was a very abusive and isolating relationship for me to be in, but I kept telling myself if I work myself (half to death) he'll get better about things because I just need to be a supportive partner, I kept telling myself it'll get better eventually and then we can be in love and be happy again like we were when we first started dating years ago. That's not how it was going to work and now I'm getting over all the trauma and being emotionally stunted from all that. I will always hold this show close to my heart, and Diane and Mr. Peanutbutter's last argument really changed the course of my life in a way.
Different people fundamentally Not ready yet Different upbringings No chemistry This is insane to me. It's so helpful for me to identify the issues with past relationships like this. I've had issues with the first three in the past and when you have a lot of these it hurts the relationship a lot.
This was by far my favorite analysis of their relationship. And I really loved what you said about where they're both at by the end of the show reflects the lessons that they learned from each other. It's something that I never thought about before, and it makes me so happy that a show I love so much can still leave me thinking about new things years after its release!
Diane and Mr.Peanut Butter's relationship reminds me a lot of the relationship with my husband (we're getting a divorce). We're simply just not compatible, though we're great friends. At the end of the day, there's too much conflict because, although we have the same end goals, we have two completely different ways of interacting and processing conflict. Classic avoidant and anxious attachment out of default. The more I went to therapy and rehealed my healthy attachment, the more I realized I grew tired of the toxic dynamic and didn't find it attractive anymore. I was 20 when we got married and it's similar that we both had emotional issues to work through. But now, 6 years into our marriage, it's little too late to save the relationship as too much damage was done. But we both grew for the better and are better than most divorced couples and have a amicable relationship 💕
after watching this again in my early 30s, I agree, there was really no one to blame. when we are younger, we like to believe there is a true and ideal way to love and show affection but the reality is we are human with individual experiences and reactions that lead to genuine ways we show and receive love. they simply were not compatible, even when they both showed the ways they need and show love. it was sad but it was a relief to see them both be their genuine selves in the end
I never thought about being a housewife or stay at home mother as a good thing for me I was afraid of it since I was 16 because I live in a society where women who chose that path were most of the times unhappy. I very much love Diane when she said the big library was her dream something belonged to her something she would appreciate doing. because this made me rethink my whole life I can't believe a scene from an animated series could be an eye opener. After that I was sure I want to work, learn a skill, travel and be my own person not relying on a man to do it for me.
I ADORE how complex the relationships between all kinds of people (and animals lol) are in Bojack. I haven't had many romantic woes, but I've lost loved ones I have conflicted feelings about, ended friendships, and there's so many moments in this show that have brought me a profound sense of comfort in how things played out in my life. Growth isn't always painless, but it is necessary.
From really earlier on i got red flags from mr peanut-butter. He reminded me of guys i know in real life who make all aspects of their personal relationship about them and tell their partner to be happy with it. I feel like the way mr PB treated diane in the first few seasons was a more subtle form of emotional mistreatment. I understand why so many missed the signs because in my personal life people miss the signs and make excuses for the guy’s selfish grand gesture because he means well. I know some fans found it jarring when mr PB became more of an obvious oblivious jerk in the later seasons. Considering that realistic subtlety was. Ot registering and also that his personality would lend itself to becoming that type of jerk I don’t mind. I appreciate the show telling fans this was always how he was. If you see this in your own life take it seriously. Obviously this can happen with the gender’s flipped or in same sex couples. I find society excuses the behavior most in the specific dynamic the show presents. Older guy with money who comes across as sign but can never listen and wants to be the center of attention with a girlfriend or wife who wants some private moments just for them.
Gosh, Mr. Peanut Butter is so horrible. He is so egocentric and immature. I know video is about how "It is no one's fault", but honestly every scene just proves that it was his fault.
Literally I hated him from the very first scene he was in 😭 I’ll admit I have anti-Mr. PB bias. But yeah the toxic positivity and avoidant tendencies are so grating to me
Watching this couple fail helped me realize that my marriage was like theirs. Two fundamentally different people that were together through circumstance. It’s nobody’s fault when this happens. It’s just sad all around and if I could go back I would have honestly ended it sooner. I am now divorced and I think I’ve found my ‘Guy’ and hope my ex finds theirs too. I wouldn’t be the same person I am without them.
I actually had hope they would actually work out. That is before season 5 premiered that confirmed they were divorcing. I guess those 5 big fights were the indicator of their eventual end to their marriage. It took a while but I came around to Guy. He’s a good match for Diane. He’s supportive of her goals, he looks out for her mental health and there’s no constant comparisons to his one ex-wife. At least Mr. PB has Bojack. Ironic considering they were competing for Diane only for her to eventually end up with someone else.
I haven't watched this show since it ended, but something that still stands out to me is that Mr. Peanutbutter said "We are five big fights away from a divorce," and five fights later, Diane drops the line "I'm so tired of squinting."
This is really thought out with why they didn't work. I honestly was not thinking about some of this stuff while watching, but looking at this now. They really were set up for failure from the start. But the beauty of that, is that they found a better piece of their self. Whether it was through a new partner, or just discovering life can be happy even when you're alone. They both learn something from just being together.
this is an absolutely amazing video, just like all of your other bj content! i really appreciate these videos because sometimes i don't understand everything going on in the show and you break it down in such simple terms that make it a lot easier to digest and understand! love these videos
My friend and I realised that those last five fights between Diane and PB could be seen as the five stages of grief! (This might be a stretch lol) Denial - Diane goes to Ojai with BoJack without telling PB, and when he calls her she tries to deny the issue by spouting therapy buzzwords at him. But PB just says that they'll talk about it in the morning, putting off dealing with the issue in a state of denial. Anger - Diane insists that Captain PB is hiding something, leading to PB angrily blowing up at her, calling her family relationships "shitty". (This might be the first time we really see PB ANGRY, instead of just frustrated.) Bargaining - Diane publicly criticises PB, leading to a public feud. However, this ends up improving their sex life. They have bargained for a better relationship by having... A worse relationship. Depression - The fracking causes their house to sink. After getting mad at PB for causing it, Diane has a drunken depressive episode for a week, drinking in her bedroom with BoJack. Acceptence - PB creates the Belle Room, and Diane gets mad that it isn't her private dream any more. PB is ready to accept that the marriage needs work, that it's a beautiful but difficult picture. But Diane has accepted that this relationship can't actually work and they need to break up.
I like that, ultimately, most of the Five Big Fights were caused by the actions and influence of others on the relationship, except the last one. If Bojack hadn't dragged Diane to Cuddlywhiskers' house, they never would've ended up on the mystery that took them to Ojai. If Katrina hadn't decided to make Mr. Peanutbutter her political pawn, they wouldn't have had the fights about fracking or guns. I think the Belle Room being the last straw is a little stronger as an ending because of that.
My soon to be over marriage with my wife is basically this situation. We love each other and want the best for both. But, we just don't work in the long term. It's taken me two months, but im finally seeing it.
i think is both their fault. mr peanbutter was too toxic positive and neglated diane´s feelling and needs, while diane was too cynical and stuck to her belives that she neglites him.
Honestly I just like how he’s the only positive character. I can’t call him toxic when he’s the only character who isn’t being sucked into a downward spiral.
They are a classic anxious and avoidant couple. They could have worked but it takes time and a lot of work and understanding the other one. You are wrong, a relationaship can be saved if both love each other. Its not a thing about opposites, they both had an insecure attachment and those camn be healed.
Attachment style alone doesn’t really resolve their incompatibilities. It would make it easier for them to stay married, true, but I don’t think either would have ended up truly happy that way
I'm sorry but I think you missed one key point about her not liking parties and grand gestures. He doesn't need to understand the WHY of her boundaries to respect them. If he cares and respects her individuality as a person, simply the fact that she doesn't like being put on the spot like that should be enough in and of itself. The way he keeps invalidating her feelings because they didn't match up to his idea of how she "should" feel really shows a blatant lack of respect towards her.
I’m still in a relationship where I’m so tired “of squinting”. Unlike Diane, I don’t have the bravery to leave it. My bf isn’t abusive but for some reason I keep feeling guilted into staying for his sake. We’re always arguing, disagreeing with each other, I’m always blowing up at the most pettiest thing. I hate it. I just always think it be best if we just break up already. Be he refuses and keeps whining about never giving up on us. 😢But I already have. I’m tired of all the fighting and shaming. I’m so…..tired of squinting. 💔
I agree... I also never understood why they were together. From the start, I never saw them as compatible, or having chemistry, or even admiration for each other.
"I'm so tired of squinting" hits really hard when you go through a relationship specifically like this where you love each other but just aren't compatible. I loved my ex boyfriend a lot and I know he loved me but we just weren't the people for one another. We tried to make it work despite it, which turned into fighting, which turned into a breakup, that turned into a friendship. The portrayal of PB and Diane's relationship really hits close to home. We were both tired of squinting and now we don't have to. It sucked that we went through it but it made us grow as people.
I really dont think that it was a blameless relationship. I think an unwilllingness/inability to grow will ruin any relationship eventually and its telling that Mr. Peanutbutter is by himself by the end of the show, left behind by every woman he's dated who grew up and moved on.
It's honestly reakky great that PB could get to a better place. We all know rhag people can stagnate endlessly and never improve but he was more of a lost cause than most people once we start learning hiw his relationship dynamic with Diane is just what he always does. You'd think after so long he might just always be that way, so really great he can make a change too.
I like how this show portrayed this unhealthy relationship. They are VERY opposite like you stated. Even though both are generally "good" people they are just too different to be together, and they might have been better as friends.
MPB once said he liked the experience. He will try out/ go with new things even if he doesn't understand it, because he loves the journey. Where Diana describes herself as one who wallows in sadness. I think they were attracted to each other because she was fascinated by someone who seemed so full of light and it lit up her world. Where Diana was reserved and cool and new, and MPB was atteacred to the new experience and her the caves of intrigued she showed. But in the end it's like you said, they never could find common ground and in the end, they had to leave each other eventually, and become better people when they did.
I like the biscuit warmer scene. Mr. PB is a lab and can really help Diane calm down sometimes. I used the crack an egg on your head thing before to help me calm down too.
10:49 that's like exactly what he realized he needed to be doing in s2e2 right before he saved todd from a burning disneyland "i should have let you make it your thing i was just trying to get the ol' mr. peanutbutter smell all over everything
I did too. I am in a similar relationship with my bf. I'm Diane and and his personality is like Mr. Peanutbutter. I was dating a "golden retriever" before it became trendy. We are causally dating for 8. I'm afraid once we do commit things will go sideways. I see no problems in our relationship but that's also because of the causality that it's not front and center. I have other things that stress me out that override just because I'm closer to that problem. But thanks to this video I see that maybe my relationship has a chance. My bf does try to calm me down and validates my feelings. But then he will return to his antics of pushing my boundaries. So yeah we shall see if this works out.
My ex boyfriend was such a PB and I identify so much with Diane. We are both journalists with bad childhoods and trying to make sense of all that pain in a way that makes a difference. Among other things. That shit was eye opening. I remember watching the show when we were together and being like wow I love this person but we just aren’t compatible. Growth has shown me so much about that.
It basically comes to a point where effort and compromise make up more of the relationship than actual love. And that’s NOBODY’S ideal of marriage. So why would you force yourself to stay? (The answer is unfortunately usually money or children)
I think it’s really dismissive to say the things Diane cares about are mere distractions from her relationship. Her caring about the rights of women isn’t like a fun hobby to distract her (as she says in the show), it’s bc she is a woman and cannot stand to see other people suffering in the way she has suffered, Esp when it’s preventable
it is mostly Mr. Peanut Butter fault, why would he date someone WAY younger than him, he had another whole different perspective of life while Diane not.
I think it's an important distinction that the problem with them not having a lot in common isn't that they have different personalities, hobbies, or likes and dislikes: it's because they have different goals and wants out of life which are differences that make them incompatible. I think this is a perfect analysis of this relationship because most relationships end not because of one person in the relationship but because both just don't work together.
Honestly, after Mr.Peanutbutter’s political career ends as abruptly as it began, I was surprised they stayed together as long as they did. They both hurt each other intentionally and the whole conflict just isn’t talked about. Like they purposefully ignored the problem that was the staring point for the end of their relationship.
At the beginning of series I hate mr peanutbutter, he’s annoying I like diane, she’s a good friend At the end of series I like mr peanutbutter, he’s a good friend I hate diane, she’s annoying
I think Diane Knew what she wanted in a relationship and she knew what she liked in PB, meanwhile PB just wants a relationship to have a relationship, not that he doesn't love Diane or doesn't see anything in her, but he really just wants to give love to someone and get that love back. But Diane Cant handle that over the top love, to be honest I don't even think it was just PB's over giving nature and the attention he gives her I think it was the hollywoo lifestyle in itself. That Diane never would have been happy in that life, it was too much for her dating a tv star socialite celebrity didn't give her much room for anonymity, thats not PB's fault its just who he is and the life he wants to live.
You make a lot of good points. I really like your evidence and explanation, but I disagree with your 4 reasons. It’s not necessarily that you are “not ready for a relationship because you are too immature in certain ways,” you learn about yourself through relationships. Sometimes you can’t learn those lessons without someone else. Without that SPECIFIC relationship testing you. You have to learn how to value someone else’s values. You have to learn how to prioritize someone else in balance with yourself. And, that’s hard. You have to fail a few times lol I guess I’m arguing that it’s not about “being ready” it’s that they couldn’t get along. Having different childhood doesn’t mean they are doomed to fail, but they saw it that way. They couldn’t see/empathize with each other and learn together about each other. I don’t think that they could never work out, but they would’ve had to really WANT to. They had to put the relationship above their pride and change how they talked to each other. Maybe it’s a phrasing thing. Conflicting childhoods, immaturity, etc. can be worked through. Lack of respect, boundary crossing, lying, and deceiving I think where what killed the relationship. Great video! It made me think a lot.
I think when one person is growing and someone else is not, you're doomed. If you wanna have sex with a man or women or them who is young, and adult, then go for it. But you want a fulfilling relationship that helps you know yourself and thrive? You need someone that you have to get know! Sex and Relationships are NOT the same thing. Sex is easy, relationships are hard for a very good reason. Absolutely loved the portrayal of Diane and Mr. PeanutButter of dysfunctional relationships.
I know the topic is pretty serious but im now noticing the hand prints on the couch of the library, now im thinking someone fucked there, left their calling card and didnt bother to clean it up
It was definitely Mr. Peanut butter’s fault. The party fight was a clear sign of that. He INSISTED to Diane that throwing her a party was a nice gesture because “everyone loves parties, it was an awesome party” etc. He refused to acknowledge, not only that Diane- his WIFE- hated parties but the majority of people liking something is not synonymous (or irrefutable proof) with it being a nice gesture for Diane. If she doesn’t like parties, it doesn’t matter how many people like parties, it’s not a good gift.
I get why Diane never learnt to trust PB… because she kind of couldn’t. She couldn’t trust him to listen to her. He proved through the way he proposed that she couldn’t trust him. That he wouldn’t listen to her, and HIS needs and wants would alway become before hers. So this dynamic only proved to Diane that her instinct not to trust your loved ones and that relying on family is foolish was right. It shouldn’t be, but it was in relationship. It also shows why she stayed: she grew up not being listened to and not being able to rely on those who loved her. That’s what family is to her. So it’s little wonder she stayed in a relationship with that same dynamic for 10 years.
I think it’s an important to note (if only just for myself) that “they never could’ve worked” doesn’t mean their relationship was doomed to be toxic. They could’ve learned all these lessons and drifted apart naturally because of their incompatibility. The end result is still the same: they learn and grow as individuals and ultimately decide their romantic relationship is better left in the past. It can be easy to assume their relationship had to be this toxic for them to learn and grow, which leaves a subconscious message that we must endure trauma in order to get to a better place (a topic I think across the spiderverse explored beautifully)
I think she loved him for the same reason all of us love dogs (retrievers in particular) they are easy to be around, love us even when we dont love ourselves, and we wish we could be like them . I love this introvert girl / extrovert dog - her only friend dynamic , i see it so often hahaha maybe because it is literally me.
This show did a wonderful way of portraying incompatible couples. Sure they did love each other, but they struggled to make it work and overall it couldn't work.
Did they love each other? I see more love shown by Todd to Mr Peanautbutter than what Diane shows to him, what she shows seems more of a physical attraction, from start to finish, and Mr Peanautbutter shows loving her not as Diane but as his GF, as a placeholder, the only moment that I can remember that he shows love for her directly is the last fight, every other gesture of love I see is not directed at her, because it ignores what she wants for what a GF should want in his mind.
@@alenasenie6928 No, Mr Peanutbutter DID love Diane and would go out of his way to do things she liked. ie: her entire birthday itinerary was hand picked based off what Mr Peanutbutter knew Diane loved, until the surprise party.
@@alenasenie6928 Also, Diane loves Mr Peanutbutter because he is everything she is not: confident, positive and charismatic. She also wanted to be those things, but it came from a place of forced positivity. I think we've all fallen into the trap of changing ourselves in relationships because we don't like who we are at the moment.
@@alenasenie6928 Sure, I believe they did, and continued to even after their divorce. There are lots of ways to love people. Like, think about it this way. You've probably got a friend you absolutely adore, but you'd be completely wretched roommates because of fundamental differences in how you live your life. Right? Or maybe you've got a family member you only started getting along with after you stopped living in the same house together. Loving someone doesn't mean you should share you life with them in the sort of way married couples do, and unfortunately that was the case for Diane and PB.
@@paprikamuffindamn
That weird moment when a cartoon about a woman dating a man with a dog head is more emotionally realistic than live action tv or movies. Best part of it is mr peanut butter wants to be a good bf but he does it through the sense of a tv drama with ratings boasting moments vs the day to day friendship dating usually goes it.
He's not a man with a dog head, he's a dog
Dont let Blake Lively see this 😂
"a woman dating a man with a dog head"← *That is not a man with a dog head.* That is a dog with a human looking body obtained through divergent evolution or through a parallel universe where it is possible for humans to breed with animals and create humanoid hybrids.
@@AlaskanHuzky Yeah Anthropomorphism.
There's a reason he is Bojack's foil. He too seems to be taught by TV yet he keeps getting away with his actions
"im so tired of squinting" is such a raw emotional line, its a standout among the whole series
it's gut wrenching every time. it's obviously the right choice and it still hurts.
Literally never ceases to give me the chills
I always tear up
Well? She's an intellectual, and that whole gesture just kind of looked more condescending when I look back on the show. He kind of treated her like a child. That whole 'OVER THE TOPE D" thing can only go so far. And it is really mean spirited IRL when a spouse or a partner doesn't support you and back up your metaphorical plays. Was she supposed to take that sort of condescension? He even criticized her writing at the end of the show. That would alienate anyone. And it shows some certain lack of respect.
That, the red flags, and the drip finally stops were lines I still think about almost daily. They've impacted me so much. Maybe I'll rewatch the entire show and put the most impactful/memorable lines in each season. Not every season's Fuck line, but the lines that stuck with me the most.
They did what the cowards of How I Met Your Mother couldn't. They showed that sometimes it doesn't matter how much you live someone, neither of you would be happy in that life
Yes THANK YOU
literally this yes oh my god! Ted and Robin tried so many times but they wanted vastly different things and acknowledged that so many times just for the writers to force them back together at the last second, conveniently when they wouldn't have to show the audience how that played out after the fact.
PB and Diane also tried so many times and PB tried so many grand gestures to fix things but ultimately had to realize their relationship couldn't be saved and wasn't worth forcing anymore. And their relationship and story is much more impactful because of it.
They did
Ted and robin did split up
They just chose to stick to initial ending from beginning and not adapt
I'm sorry but I couldn't stand how I met your mother, it was just so boring & redundant lmao.
@@vyndeliagates3437 IMO, it was also horribly mean-spirited, horrendously misogynistic, and just generally regressive and problematic overall
It’s still mind-boggling how many viewers blamed Diane for her marriage to Mr. Peanut Butter failing, until the Halloween episode revealed that Mr. Peanut Butter treated all of his wives the exact same way. And, that was the main issue with Mr. Peanut Butter, he was too happy-go-lucky to take any problems seriously. We know he could express his emotions as we all saw with his brother, which is why his treatment of his wives were so terrible.
Not to mention that the Halloween episode showed that Mr Peanut Butter behaved in the same way for literal decades. He never matured, and as he grew older (but not wiser), his partners kept being of around the same age-range, with the latest one (the pug) being 20-something when he was around 50.
It's common for a problematic male/female relationship in media to have fans portray the woman as the problem if she is in any way assertive.
Like how perfectly reasonable it is for Skylar White to be concerned about her meth kingpin husband but is somehow the bad guy.
@nbac26 I am going to be honest that felt like a retcon because previously his first wife was shown as emotionally abusive and wanted to hammer the notion he was the problem
@Bartholomule01 it feels people have to side with women and call them always the victims
@@92JazzQueenTwo people can’t be bad in a relationship? I saw them both as a problem. For themselves and their relationship. We saw Mr. PB and Katrina long after their divorce, when he was running for gov. The fact of PB himself is he goes EXCLUSIVELY for early 20 year olds. Is that not strange to you? Or is that your “natural order” and you’d fuck a 6 year old if that was legal? Both people are shit. I don’t see anyone defend Katrina, but I see droves of you people claim PB is just a normal, natural man who has every right to go after young women.
13:25 Hot take, Both Diane AND Mr.Peanutbutter had more chemistry with Bojack than between themselves lol.
Truth.
I can see it honestly
PB just calling it a kiss, like that was a full blown makeout he had with bojack it was crazy
Hard disagree with Guy supporting Diane in her crusades to the point of self destruction, the key point of his characterization was that he supported Diane but also advocated for boundaries (Going on antidepressants, etc).
That is what I was trying to say- that he would support her UNTIL it affected her mental health. We love Guy at this channel ❤️
Exactly. He’s supportive but wants her to take care of herself too
freedom to get into the wrong relationships and the freedom to grow and learn from it instead of letting it make you bitter and angry
What?
@@manofmagic1803 This is real, but also kind of taboo to talk about.
People expect you to have everything figured out by the momento you have a relationship. But, they actually make you mature and know yourself better in a way.
It's still painful af tho
My boyfriend and I broke up earlier this year in February. I recently found these Bojack relationship videos and I find them to be so reassuring that my own break up really was what needed to happen for both of us to grow as individuals. Thank you for continuing to make this series and I can't for the next one.
I went through something similar a few months ago. These discussions reassure me that I made the right choice to grow as a person.
Sometimes it is no one's fault, just different places in life, those ones are the hardest.
In contrast there are people that are at fault in literally every break up, like my father, he is a serial cheater, so, every break up in his life is his fault, and he has always had someone right there to continue in a relationship until he also cheats them.
Going through something similar, how is it going for you? Does it get better?
@@Phyco_cielo Yes. Sometimes you will have moments where you think it's your fault but that happens but if you have them all the time then therapy is one of the options.
Good luck!! I hope you feel better soon 🙏
isn't it kind of poetic?? I mean Diane ends up finishing her friendship with Bojack while Mr. Peanutbutter starts his friendship with him! I don't think that's a coincidence either but who knows. 😂 excellent video btw! I love these two. 💕
I think Diane is very much like Bojack (they even state this I the show I think)
And Mr. Peanutbutter got just the tiniest peak into Diane's inner workings.
He can only start the friendship with BJ because they all grew: Diane knows herself too well to let someone who is so much like her pull her down, Mr. PB now sees through his relationship patterns and puts friendship first and Bojack can allow himself to be around positivity
@@brotchenkorner3944 exactly! that's why I ended up loving almost all the characters, they are just so well written I can help but like them. 😭💕
I remember when I first watched the show and I was like in my late teens, and I saw Diane and Bojack would be perfect together( my traumatized mind lol ) a DECADE LATER I can honestly say.. it’s perfect where they ended off.. let bygones be bygones.. maybe a merry Christmas… it’s been a while…? you know ?
@@brotchenkorner3944 I think with mr.peanut butter is interesting like he’s extra to the point of narcissism, but he isn’t really inherently evil trying to be mean to people…
He just had to learn how to really relate to Bojack and Diane on a more humane level I feel… great analysis…
I always did find Dianne and Mr peanut butter as a odd couple. Thank God she didn't end up with Bojack.
a little funny that at 2:39 when you state that they are fundamentally different it’s a shot of them eating the same meal in completely different ways, mr peanut butter with a plate and fork and Diane with a bowl and spoon.
The mug and glass too
They simply weren’t compatible. I find it a bit odd to see people blaming one party in particular. I think they loved eachother, but with their individual personalities and flaws… it just wasn’t going to happen.
That's why after their divorce they weren't bitter to each other. They worked as friends but not as a relationship
Exactly
I have to object to the phrase "wallows in sadness", which makes it sound like she chose her emotional state at the time. She was suffering survivor's guilt (a colloquial term for PTSD caused by the death of others), big time. Her behavior checks every requirement for the diagnosis.
what happened that made her suffer survivors guilt ? are u talking abt her dad or kinko?
It's been a long time since I watched the show. What was Diane's survivor's guilt from?
The orphan child she met during her active war journalism arc died shortly after she was warned to not get attached!
@@Sqwivigall the children who died in cordovia who she couldn’t help even though that’s what she wanted to
Holy shit - they really were cooked after 5 fights. This show is amazing.
We can guess from what Diane and Mr Peanutbutter say during some of their fights that it happens *way* more than we’re shown
About the relationship between Mr Peanutbutter and his brother, it is actually shown that after the scare he had their relationship got even stronger, in the last season, when he is talking with Pickles, he says how his brother talked to him about how he feels in his marriage, a negative feeling, so it is something bad happening in the peninsula, but they are talking about it, it shows Mr Peanautbutter was somehow sheltered about the reality of his family, this is also shown during Philbert, when he realizes people lied to him about loved ones dying by making a story, all his family knew the truth but him.
The thing about PB is that he’s happy and tries to be nice. And that is enough for some people. No one wants to think happy, nice people can hurt you because they don’t mean to. But not meaning to doesn’t mean you didn’t do it.
They were simply not compatible. Sometimes, you get into a relationship with someone, and you have fun with them when it's more casual. Once you commit, the flaws in your relationship become more apparent. Eventually, the sunk cost fallacy takes over.
One of my favorite things about Bojack is seeing the parallels of his relationship with herb and his relationship with Kelsey. I'd love it if you'd cover that.
I completely agree, although in my opinion the main reason they both got married so quickly was Bojack lol
For Mr. Peanutbutter because he felt challenged by Bojack, and was afraid of losing Diane since he perceived that Bojack was attracted to Diane but at the same time Bojack understood and comprehended Diane in ways that he couldn't (And it was true, but not in a romantic way, but it's Bojack, of course he would try to make it romantic and sexual XD)
For Diane to completely avoid and reject Bojack's romantic courtship XDXD
And the reason, and this is a bit of a theory, is because Bojack really understood Diane because they are both so similar and have similar childhoods, but while Bojack and his narcissism saw this as "destiny" (And a form of validation to his shitty way of being, since he considers Diane as "good", and if she's okay then he is too lol), for Diane who basically hates herself, hates her childhood, hates how her traumas define her, and wants to improve as a person (That's why she always tried to change her environment and herself), she saw a relationship with Bojack as a dead end or something that would make her hate herself more over time because it would make her worse as a person (And she's not wrong, when she got depressed and ended up at Bojack's house for months, the two of them really fed off each other's traumas to be the worst version of themselves).
The thing is, I think Diane got married quickly to "escape" from a possible romantic relationship with Bojack, and also because she didn't want to make the mistake of choosing "the bad guy" over the "good guy" lol
But as always, this show is not about black and white, since both options were bad lolol
But yes, thanks to her experience with Mr. Peatnutbutter, she was able to find herself, and she found Guy
Bad guy, good guy and Guy
@@maddiewaters7112 Niiice
@@maddiewaters7112 The Good The Bad and the Guy.
funny wording)
Good insights!!
Well duh he’s a dog, and she’s practically more of a cat than PC.
my girlfriend of 5 years and I just broke up and diane is my favorite character. hearing this helped me a lot. it’s so comforting
what makes this story so wonderful is that this is an incredibly human thing that people go through and it's very nuanced and multi-faceted (though you did a great job summing it up in 4 points lol) and an often natural progression of incompatible relationships. I have never been someone that solely blames either of them but boy, do you see a lot of people who only know how to blame diane in all this as though she isn't allowed to be a whole ass human that is growing and changing and learning who she is and what she wants !
7:47 that's such a great distinction between them and also aligns with how Diane is closer friends with Bojack and Mr. Peanutbutter is closer friends with Todd. Diane is cynical largely because of her upbringing (coming from a neglectful/emotionally abusive family + childhood bullying) and her values (feminism and social justice; both how they inform her worldview and how the world responds to her speaking out) - Bojack's cynicism is related to his background (emotionally + physically abusive parents) but also due to his self-sabotage. They have a common ground which connects them but also come at it from different perspectives which divides them. Todd has a different experience than Mr. Peanutbutter but both have a really positive outlook that they retain like 90% of the time (the occasional rock opera sabotage or divorce being the other 10%) partly because, as Bojack PC and Jorge each point out, they both continually fail upwards. Things just work out for them.
Right?
Growing from a breakup is honestly kind of annoying. You become a better partner for someone you can't really be with.
Idk, if both partners grew and learned, and both want to give it another try as changed people, i dont see why its frowned upon
@@zahraemmamohamed2497 It's not that it's bad, exactly, but people don't break up for no reason. It's entirely possible that even if you've both grown and changed, the little things about them that used to needle you and vice versa are still there. Exes can get back together, but the likelihood that your old issues are still issues is very high.
People will always tell you not to bother with experiences that might be painful, but like. Life involves a lot of pain. Try it, but recognize where and when the pain is happening, try to learn from it.
When she’s zigging, he’s always zagging.
she's zoe he's zelda
I would disagree with them not being affectionate with each other. They were and they liked being around each other and loved each other as individuals but together, they just didn't mix, like oil and water.
It's hard to be able to tell when you're just not working out with a person, if you really love them. Throughout they honored their relationship and marriage kept each other in mind and never cheated. The only time Mr. Peanut butter low-key cheated when their wedding was ending and he got along with that waitress girl. Diane also met the Bison dude after their marriage ended.
It's hard to accept that things aren't working when you're trying so hard to make them work.
"they just didn't mix, like oil and water."
I got reminded of Brandy and Mr. Whiskers with that line.....
(I know some here might not know this show.....)
I forgot who pointed it out, but a character stated that Mr. Peanutbutter has a habit of only dating and sleeping with girls significantly younger than him (20s), with Diane being the exception. They point out that as a 53 year old man, the fact that he has no success dating his own age is because of the fact that he refuses to address his lack in maturity, and expects girls in their early and mid 20s to stay the same too when they're still developing mentally and emotionally. His main flaw is his naïvety and subtle stubbornness to view everything as "perfect" and "happy-go-lucky", the mindset often portrayed by young children. That is why he attracts women like Diane, who by all means is nowhere near as bad as he is, but is also emotionally stunted from not having a proper childhood, eager to rush into a marriage with a man over a decade older than her and hoping for the stability and partnership that she isn't ready for; that PBM cant provide due to his own immaturity and insecurities despite having the funds to provide for Diane and a family.
Edit: Corrections. Diane was the one to point out how he only dates women half his age with little-no adult experiences. Diane was 25 when they got in contact with each other.
i really dont think diane took the hank situation 'too far'. She was only acting upon what she believes in. Nothing about it was too far. Nobody else was standing up for the victims of hank. There was a reason why she had to take a stand on it, no one else would
It's weird to me that Diane and Mr. Peanutbutter date for 7 years before the start of the show but somehow it takes actually getting married for them to realize they aren't that compatible. The breakup feels like it comes 3-4 years too late, especially for people of their age. It's hard to believe Diane never became restless or Mr. Peanutbutter insecure at any point before season 1 of the show.
I agree it’s weird, I do remember being so young and insecure tho. I think that plays into what she explains to him at the Halloween party. He almost targets these young ambitious girls who are content with the way things are. I honestly think because of her rejection of her family she really clings to certain securities he gives her. I think a theme of bad relationships is it should have ended 3 years ago but young people really don’t give up and think there’s no problems.
I mean. Some people get divorced after over a decade of marriage. Breaking up after 7 years of dating is far from unrealistic
Honestly a lot of couples do this. After a few years people just become compliant and are scared to leave their situation. I mean, I currently know some couples that have been together for DECADES that are miserable with each-other...but it's all they know, so they can't change or leave.
@@xanecho I mean, it happened with Taylor and Joe that were deemed as inseparable by the media 🤷♀. Sometimes it just doesn't work despite how much you cared for them.
This happens to a lot of couples tbh, I know one irl that dated for almost a decade and divorced after only a few yeara
My video was buffering SO badly so it was just a black screen for the entire intro and I just thought it was a really interesting stylistic choice
Funny. XD
Time to get vulnerable in a youtube comment section again, yeehaw!
I was watching this series with my ex a few years back, and that whole argument leading up to them eventually breaking up, Diane's "I'm so tired of squinting" really woke me up.
I will not compare my ex to Mr.Peanutbutter honestly he was more like Bojack in all the worst way, but I spent 10 years with him, I lost experiences of my late teens and early 20's stuck with him. It was a very abusive and isolating relationship for me to be in, but I kept telling myself if I work myself (half to death) he'll get better about things because I just need to be a supportive partner, I kept telling myself it'll get better eventually and then we can be in love and be happy again like we were when we first started dating years ago.
That's not how it was going to work and now I'm getting over all the trauma and being emotionally stunted from all that.
I will always hold this show close to my heart, and Diane and Mr. Peanutbutter's last argument really changed the course of my life in a way.
Different people fundamentally
Not ready yet
Different upbringings
No chemistry
This is insane to me. It's so helpful for me to identify the issues with past relationships like this. I've had issues with the first three in the past and when you have a lot of these it hurts the relationship a lot.
I need a Ralph x princess Carolyn deep dive 🗣️
So at the outset I agreed with the premise, but holy shit you bring up a lot I never noticed of thought about. Good video mate, two thumbs up.
This was by far my favorite analysis of their relationship. And I really loved what you said about where they're both at by the end of the show reflects the lessons that they learned from each other. It's something that I never thought about before, and it makes me so happy that a show I love so much can still leave me thinking about new things years after its release!
He's codependent and she's clinically depressed
Diane and Mr.Peanut Butter's relationship reminds me a lot of the relationship with my husband (we're getting a divorce). We're simply just not compatible, though we're great friends. At the end of the day, there's too much conflict because, although we have the same end goals, we have two completely different ways of interacting and processing conflict. Classic avoidant and anxious attachment out of default. The more I went to therapy and rehealed my healthy attachment, the more I realized I grew tired of the toxic dynamic and didn't find it attractive anymore.
I was 20 when we got married and it's similar that we both had emotional issues to work through. But now, 6 years into our marriage, it's little too late to save the relationship as too much damage was done. But we both grew for the better and are better than most divorced couples and have a amicable relationship 💕
after watching this again in my early 30s, I agree, there was really no one to blame. when we are younger, we like to believe there is a true and ideal way to love and show affection but the reality is we are human with individual experiences and reactions that lead to genuine ways we show and receive love. they simply were not compatible, even when they both showed the ways they need and show love. it was sad but it was a relief to see them both be their genuine selves in the end
I never thought about being a housewife or stay at home mother as a good thing for me I was afraid of it since I was 16 because I live in a society where women who chose that path were most of the times unhappy. I very much love Diane when she said the big library was her dream something belonged to her something she would appreciate doing. because this made me rethink my whole life I can't believe a scene from an animated series could be an eye opener. After that I was sure I want to work, learn a skill, travel and be my own person not relying on a man to do it for me.
I ADORE how complex the relationships between all kinds of people (and animals lol) are in Bojack. I haven't had many romantic woes, but I've lost loved ones I have conflicted feelings about, ended friendships, and there's so many moments in this show that have brought me a profound sense of comfort in how things played out in my life. Growth isn't always painless, but it is necessary.
From really earlier on i got red flags from mr peanut-butter. He reminded me of guys i know in real life who make all aspects of their personal relationship about them and tell their partner to be happy with it.
I feel like the way mr PB treated diane in the first few seasons was a more subtle form of emotional mistreatment. I understand why so many missed the signs because in my personal life people miss the signs and make excuses for the guy’s selfish grand gesture because he means well.
I know some fans found it jarring when mr PB became more of an obvious oblivious jerk in the later seasons. Considering that realistic subtlety was. Ot registering and also that his personality would lend itself to becoming that type of jerk I don’t mind. I appreciate the show telling fans this was always how he was. If you see this in your own life take it seriously.
Obviously this can happen with the gender’s flipped or in same sex couples. I find society excuses the behavior most in the specific dynamic the show presents. Older guy with money who comes across as sign but can never listen and wants to be the center of attention with a girlfriend or wife who wants some private moments just for them.
Gosh, Mr. Peanut Butter is so horrible. He is so egocentric and immature. I know video is about how "It is no one's fault", but honestly every scene just proves that it was his fault.
Literally I hated him from the very first scene he was in 😭 I’ll admit I have anti-Mr. PB bias. But yeah the toxic positivity and avoidant tendencies are so grating to me
Watching this couple fail helped me realize that my marriage was like theirs. Two fundamentally different people that were together through circumstance. It’s nobody’s fault when this happens. It’s just sad all around and if I could go back I would have honestly ended it sooner. I am now divorced and I think I’ve found my ‘Guy’ and hope my ex finds theirs too. I wouldn’t be the same person I am without them.
I actually had hope they would actually work out. That is before season 5 premiered that confirmed they were divorcing. I guess those 5 big fights were the indicator of their eventual end to their marriage. It took a while but I came around to Guy. He’s a good match for Diane. He’s supportive of her goals, he looks out for her mental health and there’s no constant comparisons to his one ex-wife. At least Mr. PB has Bojack. Ironic considering they were competing for Diane only for her to eventually end up with someone else.
I haven't watched this show since it ended, but something that still stands out to me is that Mr. Peanutbutter said "We are five big fights away from a divorce," and five fights later, Diane drops the line "I'm so tired of squinting."
I’ve had more than just five big fights with my bf. Sadly no break up yet and I’m already tired of squinting 😢💔
Waiting for the "why Princess Carolyn and Vincent Adultman could NEVER work" Video and it's just "He's 3 kids in a trenchcoat"
I feel like I was in an incompatible relationship... This feels so hard to recognize,I loved him so much. It hurts a lot.
This is really thought out with why they didn't work. I honestly was not thinking about some of this stuff while watching, but looking at this now. They really were set up for failure from the start. But the beauty of that, is that they found a better piece of their self. Whether it was through a new partner, or just discovering life can be happy even when you're alone. They both learn something from just being together.
this is an absolutely amazing video, just like all of your other bj content! i really appreciate these videos because sometimes i don't understand everything going on in the show and you break it down in such simple terms that make it a lot easier to digest and understand! love these videos
Gotta love the bj content
My friend and I realised that those last five fights between Diane and PB could be seen as the five stages of grief! (This might be a stretch lol)
Denial - Diane goes to Ojai with BoJack without telling PB, and when he calls her she tries to deny the issue by spouting therapy buzzwords at him. But PB just says that they'll talk about it in the morning, putting off dealing with the issue in a state of denial.
Anger - Diane insists that Captain PB is hiding something, leading to PB angrily blowing up at her, calling her family relationships "shitty". (This might be the first time we really see PB ANGRY, instead of just frustrated.)
Bargaining - Diane publicly criticises PB, leading to a public feud. However, this ends up improving their sex life. They have bargained for a better relationship by having... A worse relationship.
Depression - The fracking causes their house to sink. After getting mad at PB for causing it, Diane has a drunken depressive episode for a week, drinking in her bedroom with BoJack.
Acceptence - PB creates the Belle Room, and Diane gets mad that it isn't her private dream any more. PB is ready to accept that the marriage needs work, that it's a beautiful but difficult picture. But Diane has accepted that this relationship can't actually work and they need to break up.
I like that, ultimately, most of the Five Big Fights were caused by the actions and influence of others on the relationship, except the last one. If Bojack hadn't dragged Diane to Cuddlywhiskers' house, they never would've ended up on the mystery that took them to Ojai. If Katrina hadn't decided to make Mr. Peanutbutter her political pawn, they wouldn't have had the fights about fracking or guns. I think the Belle Room being the last straw is a little stronger as an ending because of that.
it's crazy how much I'm Diane & my Ex is MPB. Needed to see this, thanks
“get some help y’all because that is not enough” hahaha good video, thanks!
My soon to be over marriage with my wife is basically this situation. We love each other and want the best for both. But, we just don't work in the long term. It's taken me two months, but im finally seeing it.
i think is both their fault. mr peanbutter was too toxic positive and neglated diane´s feelling and needs, while diane was too cynical and stuck to her belives that she neglites him.
Which her belives?
I think she was just too mch introvert and they didnt mixed.
Beliefs like… her personal preferences and boundaries? Not everything is a both sides issue yk
Honestly I just like how he’s the only positive character.
I can’t call him toxic when he’s the only character who isn’t being sucked into a downward spiral.
@@Da_bear-ij9gm
If it’s not both sides then she’s in the wrong.
She didn’t “have boundaries.” She was petty and cruel.
I mean- i knew they wouldn't Work from The beginning, it felt weird and surprisingly unhealthy from the start.
Mr. peanut butter and Diane is my roman empire. 😭😞😞😞
They are a classic anxious and avoidant couple. They could have worked but it takes time and a lot of work and understanding the other one. You are wrong, a relationaship can be saved if both love each other. Its not a thing about opposites, they both had an insecure attachment and those camn be healed.
Attachment style alone doesn’t really resolve their incompatibilities. It would make it easier for them to stay married, true, but I don’t think either would have ended up truly happy that way
I'm sorry but I think you missed one key point about her not liking parties and grand gestures. He doesn't need to understand the WHY of her boundaries to respect them. If he cares and respects her individuality as a person, simply the fact that she doesn't like being put on the spot like that should be enough in and of itself. The way he keeps invalidating her feelings because they didn't match up to his idea of how she "should" feel really shows a blatant lack of respect towards her.
I’m still in a relationship where I’m so tired “of squinting”. Unlike Diane, I don’t have the bravery to leave it. My bf isn’t abusive but for some reason I keep feeling guilted into staying for his sake. We’re always arguing, disagreeing with each other, I’m always blowing up at the most pettiest thing. I hate it. I just always think it be best if we just break up already. Be he refuses and keeps whining about never giving up on us. 😢But I already have. I’m tired of all the fighting and shaming.
I’m so…..tired of squinting. 💔
I agree... I also never understood why they were together. From the start, I never saw them as compatible, or having chemistry, or even admiration for each other.
It's a hard lesson to be compared to Mr Peanutbutter.
realizing in my relationship i’m diane and my bf is mr. pb and this is a giant slap in the face
Same. I even had the dream of owning a Belle room
As a person who has never watched this show the thumbnail is killing me
"I'm so tired of squinting" hits really hard when you go through a relationship specifically like this where you love each other but just aren't compatible. I loved my ex boyfriend a lot and I know he loved me but we just weren't the people for one another. We tried to make it work despite it, which turned into fighting, which turned into a breakup, that turned into a friendship. The portrayal of PB and Diane's relationship really hits close to home. We were both tired of squinting and now we don't have to. It sucked that we went through it but it made us grow as people.
I ❤ both of them. I’m glad they had a good ending with respect and love for each other.
Yup. My boyfriend and I are like Diane and Mr. PB 😅
Time to rethink some things.
I really dont think that it was a blameless relationship. I think an unwilllingness/inability to grow will ruin any relationship eventually and its telling that Mr. Peanutbutter is by himself by the end of the show, left behind by every woman he's dated who grew up and moved on.
It's honestly reakky great that PB could get to a better place. We all know rhag people can stagnate endlessly and never improve but he was more of a lost cause than most people once we start learning hiw his relationship dynamic with Diane is just what he always does. You'd think after so long he might just always be that way, so really great he can make a change too.
I like how this show portrayed this unhealthy relationship. They are VERY opposite like you stated. Even though both are generally "good" people they are just too different to be together, and they might have been better as friends.
This show is fuckin awesome, and I may not be able to breakdown exactly why, but I definitely wanna see more videos about it, goated show 🔥
MPB once said he liked the experience. He will try out/ go with new things even if he doesn't understand it, because he loves the journey. Where Diana describes herself as one who wallows in sadness.
I think they were attracted to each other because she was fascinated by someone who seemed so full of light and it lit up her world. Where Diana was reserved and cool and new, and MPB was atteacred to the new experience and her the caves of intrigued she showed.
But in the end it's like you said, they never could find common ground and in the end, they had to leave each other eventually, and become better people when they did.
I like the biscuit warmer scene. Mr. PB is a lab and can really help Diane calm down sometimes. I used the crack an egg on your head thing before to help me calm down too.
This show is so amazing.
Thanks for making these videos 💕
10:49 that's like exactly what he realized he needed to be doing in s2e2 right before he saved todd from a burning disneyland "i should have let you make it your thing i was just trying to get the ol' mr. peanutbutter smell all over everything
I just finished watching this show. Honestly, this resonated with me due to events life has thrown at me. Shits tough
Am I the only person who wanted their relationship to work out?
I did too. I am in a similar relationship with my bf. I'm Diane and and his personality is like Mr. Peanutbutter. I was dating a "golden retriever" before it became trendy. We are causally dating for 8. I'm afraid once we do commit things will go sideways. I see no problems in our relationship but that's also because of the causality that it's not front and center. I have other things that stress me out that override just because I'm closer to that problem. But thanks to this video I see that maybe my relationship has a chance. My bf does try to calm me down and validates my feelings. But then he will return to his antics of pushing my boundaries. So yeah we shall see if this works out.
My ex boyfriend was such a PB and I identify so much with Diane. We are both journalists with bad childhoods and trying to make sense of all that pain in a way that makes a difference. Among other things. That shit was eye opening. I remember watching the show when we were together and being like wow I love this person but we just aren’t compatible. Growth has shown me so much about that.
Fun fact the average litter size for golden retrievers is 8 so ya Mr.penutbutter probably has 7 brothers and sisters
PosiTVty, This is fantastic! I subscribed because I love it!
It basically comes to a point where effort and compromise make up more of the relationship than actual love. And that’s NOBODY’S ideal of marriage. So why would you force yourself to stay? (The answer is unfortunately usually money or children)
I think it’s really dismissive to say the things Diane cares about are mere distractions from her relationship. Her caring about the rights of women isn’t like a fun hobby to distract her (as she says in the show), it’s bc she is a woman and cannot stand to see other people suffering in the way she has suffered, Esp when it’s preventable
it is mostly Mr. Peanut Butter fault, why would he date someone WAY younger than him, he had another whole different perspective of life while Diane not.
I think it's an important distinction that the problem with them not having a lot in common isn't that they have different personalities, hobbies, or likes and dislikes: it's because they have different goals and wants out of life which are differences that make them incompatible. I think this is a perfect analysis of this relationship because most relationships end not because of one person in the relationship but because both just don't work together.
Honestly, after Mr.Peanutbutter’s political career ends as abruptly as it began, I was surprised they stayed together as long as they did. They both hurt each other intentionally and the whole conflict just isn’t talked about. Like they purposefully ignored the problem that was the staring point for the end of their relationship.
At the beginning of series
I hate mr peanutbutter, he’s annoying
I like diane, she’s a good friend
At the end of series
I like mr peanutbutter, he’s a good friend
I hate diane, she’s annoying
I think Diane Knew what she wanted in a relationship and she knew what she liked in PB, meanwhile PB just wants a relationship to have a relationship, not that he doesn't love Diane or doesn't see anything in her, but he really just wants to give love to someone and get that love back. But Diane Cant handle that over the top love, to be honest I don't even think it was just PB's over giving nature and the attention he gives her I think it was the hollywoo lifestyle in itself. That Diane never would have been happy in that life, it was too much for her dating a tv star socialite celebrity didn't give her much room for anonymity, thats not PB's fault its just who he is and the life he wants to live.
You make a lot of good points. I really like your evidence and explanation, but I disagree with your 4 reasons. It’s not necessarily that you are “not ready for a relationship because you are too immature in certain ways,” you learn about yourself through relationships. Sometimes you can’t learn those lessons without someone else. Without that SPECIFIC relationship testing you. You have to learn how to value someone else’s values. You have to learn how to prioritize someone else in balance with yourself. And, that’s hard. You have to fail a few times lol
I guess I’m arguing that it’s not about “being ready” it’s that they couldn’t get along.
Having different childhood doesn’t mean they are doomed to fail, but they saw it that way. They couldn’t see/empathize with each other and learn together about each other.
I don’t think that they could never work out, but they would’ve had to really WANT to. They had to put the relationship above their pride and change how they talked to each other.
Maybe it’s a phrasing thing. Conflicting childhoods, immaturity, etc. can be worked through. Lack of respect, boundary crossing, lying, and deceiving I think where what killed the relationship.
Great video! It made me think a lot.
It sounds like you have someone singing very softly in the background of this whole photo
Fine, I'll watch Bojack Horseman again...
Dude what is the song he uses in the background. It’s so fucking beautiful. I got distracted multiple times listening to the song.
I think when one person is growing and someone else is not, you're doomed. If you wanna have sex with a man or women or them who is young, and adult, then go for it. But you want a fulfilling relationship that helps you know yourself and thrive? You need someone that you have to get know! Sex and Relationships are NOT the same thing. Sex is easy, relationships are hard for a very good reason. Absolutely loved the portrayal of Diane and Mr. PeanutButter of dysfunctional relationships.
Mister peanutbutter wrote this video essay
I know the topic is pretty serious but im now noticing the hand prints on the couch of the library, now im thinking someone fucked there, left their calling card and didnt bother to clean it up
It was definitely Mr. Peanut butter’s fault. The party fight was a clear sign of that.
He INSISTED to Diane that throwing her a party was a nice gesture because “everyone loves parties, it was an awesome party” etc. He refused to acknowledge, not only that Diane- his WIFE- hated parties but the majority of people liking something is not synonymous (or irrefutable proof) with it being a nice gesture for Diane. If she doesn’t like parties, it doesn’t matter how many people like parties, it’s not a good gift.
I get why Diane never learnt to trust PB… because she kind of couldn’t. She couldn’t trust him to listen to her.
He proved through the way he proposed that she couldn’t trust him. That he wouldn’t listen to her, and HIS needs and wants would alway become before hers.
So this dynamic only proved to Diane that her instinct not to trust your loved ones and that relying on family is foolish was right. It shouldn’t be, but it was in relationship.
It also shows why she stayed: she grew up not being listened to and not being able to rely on those who loved her. That’s what family is to her. So it’s little wonder she stayed in a relationship with that same dynamic for 10 years.
I think it’s an important to note (if only just for myself) that “they never could’ve worked” doesn’t mean their relationship was doomed to be toxic. They could’ve learned all these lessons and drifted apart naturally because of their incompatibility. The end result is still the same: they learn and grow as individuals and ultimately decide their romantic relationship is better left in the past. It can be easy to assume their relationship had to be this toxic for them to learn and grow, which leaves a subconscious message that we must endure trauma in order to get to a better place (a topic I think across the spiderverse explored beautifully)
I think she loved him for the same reason all of us love dogs (retrievers in particular) they are easy to be around, love us even when we dont love ourselves, and we wish we could be like them . I love this introvert girl / extrovert dog - her only friend dynamic , i see it so often hahaha maybe because it is literally me.
diane has her own issues but PB is a narcissist who needs to figure his shit out