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Instead of "Eh, i'm not interested I want to leave", I would recommend, "I don't see a future for us, would you like to continue to talk or would you like to leave?" That way the person can choose whether or not to share a meal with you with no expectation of further time spent together or just go home immediately. I'm going to guess 99% of the time they're going to leave immediately, and the 1% of the time, you spent an hour and a half of your time talking to someone new. Also, if you do this on a dinner date, you better be expecting to go dutch afterwards.
Women have replaced husband with paycheck and God with government. Thus their need to marry and procreate is no longer there thus they reject the vocation to marriage and family. This is why single people are now the majority and western nations are having demographic problems.
If she’s not interested, then she’s not interested. I’m not going to chase her and become needy. She’ll put no effort towards you and she’ll take a long time to reply to you. And that’s okay, just move on and you’ll be fine.
@@CourtneyRyanI think most women are fairly clear when expressing their disinterest. Thats fine but why do women feel the need to be rude or offensive about it? Also how do you spot women who fane interest because they want your time, money, energy, or other resources? Great video. Thanks
I threw myself at her so much that she dosen't seem to want it. My mom told me don't chase or beg for love and attention from a female. I'm dissapointed it didn't work out.
@@fallenangels4618Women who do that don’t see men as separate human beings with feelings, goals, and thoughts. And that’s great because it’s a huge red flag you can spot early.
It’s not what she “does” that lets you know she’s not interested.. it’s what she DOESN’T do. She doesn’t text you first.. doesn’t call you out of the blue, doesn’t reach out to show interest, doesn’t make time for you, doesn’t communicate.. period. This is universal among both men and women.
I swear that’s her rn, i planned for the date and we went out she cancelled for real reason, put we went out the date wasn’t that good because she been talking about her past love which made me kinda jealous and i went full masculine mode took her home while she was waiting for something from me i don’t know what it is but we were alone at night, i saw her the next day i approached her while she was kinda mad but she agreed to go out with me to play bowling everything went well, now she do not send anything or ask me about what’s going on
Sometimes, a psycho jerk intrudes without being welcome, and starts offering unsolicited advice telling people what to do, deliberately ruining people’s chance at love just because he didn’t have his chance.
Interesting,so why would a girl link elbows with you in a car and also in a photograph puts her arm in my arm ,is this interest or disinterest ,positive or negative body language
If you're asking her questions during your date to get to know her, she gives you short answers and not ask you any questions to get to know you she's might not interested.
Recently had a similar experience, I was asking all the questions and there were no followup questions from her. Felt like talking to a brick wall, so I called it off there and then.
Gives short or one word unenthusiastic responses. Not answers. The tone of voice is very telling, especially over the phone. It is not just words. If it was face to face, the body language will speak much more. Your gut feeling/ intuition/ instinct/ feeling vibes will normally be correct. Don't allow what you want to blind you and see things for what they are.
@@inbb510it means you are low on her priority of texting, meaning she is talking to a good amount of others, if it was just you it takes moments to read a message and respond, best case is they work a really demanding job both on time and mental capacity, such as being a doctor/surgeon stuff like that
@CoCo.-_- even then it's b.s. and means you're at best a backup plan. Everyone has a few minutes here and there to respond to you even if it's just to say "in the middle of XYZ, I'll call you at XYZ" or something equivalent
There's a book called Casanova Playbook of Magnetism, and it talks from body language and conversaton starters to dark mind tricks and flirting through texts, it's the real deal
In my twenties, I used to feel a blow to my ego whenever I faced rejection, often delving into deep introspection and even shedding tears in the process. With the passage of time and gained experience, I've come to realize that as men, rejection is an inevitable part of life. While it's never a pleasant experience, the key is to embrace it as a natural occurrence. No one enjoys being rejected, but instead of dwelling on the "whys," it's best to swiftly move forward. Over time, you'll grow accustomed to it, and eventually, it won't even faze you anymore.
So basically you learned to get Thick Skin. Two ways about it. You can hate on other women for it. Use them for what they have and Leave. Or just Stay true to who you. Wanna be No matter how hard you have Been Treated.
When I took my wife on our first date to Panera Bread because she really love that place. She was interested in seeing me again when she ask me out to lunch and bike riding together on a nice day.
I'm an engineer so I like numbers. There are 1440 minutes in 24 hours. One minute out of one day is 0.07% of your time. No excuse to never spend one minute, or the 24 seconds, for a text.
Or they can use you for a foodie call. When you try and change to just a walk in the park or a coffee date she switches up and just refuses to continue as well.
Good advice !,I had a girl once who kept saying she was busy and didn’t respond to messages often, her friends told me she was shy and to not give up on her. I didn’t want to seem like the ass who was rushing her into anything so I gently persisted over weeks thinking she was worth my time and worth the work. When we finally met for a third date she was mildly insulting to me, and I realised not only did she not like me, she had formed her own idea of who I was without getting to know me at all. the shyness hid a judgmental and arrogant character. While a part of me wanted to correct the wrong assumptions I realised Instantly I would be better off putting my time into finding a better person. Feeling happier than I had in a while I nicely excused myself from the date early (no3 of this list I believe). I learned a valuable lesson, don’t waste time and effort on something that doesn’t feel good. Spend it finding something that does.
Ghosting by either party is just rude no matter the intentions. If someone isn't interested, they should just say it. You know that people who ghost don't like it when it's done to them.
Just as you said, if a date short is cut short, then there should be some communication, same goes for here. Even a short text that says 'thanks but no' and maybe throw in a 'good luck.'
I think what people forget sometimes when getting rejected for a second date or anything along those lines... imagine if they forced themselves to go out with you, think about how unhealthy of a relationship you would have moving forward. You'd both be completely miserable in the end regardless, so why push? Be thankful it's over before things get more serious because of someone pushing through when they don't want to.
Ive never chased a girl, and i never will. Thats one thing ive always been proud of myself about. Im not going to chase or beg anyone to be in my life. Too much self worth and respect
I asked a girl out once for a Saturday night. She said she was busy, but she said she was free Friday night. That was great knowing she was offering an alternative to my Saturday night date invite.
@@x-man5056 That's her business. I would never ask her why she was busy Saturday night. Even if she had a date, so what? I have gone out with a few girls who were dating other guys without me knowing it until they chose to end it with them, to be in a relationship with me.
The weirdest "cut a date short" excuse I heard from a girl was, "Sorry, I need to go; I'm supposed to bake cinnamon rolls with my roommate. It's a 6-8 hour process, and I need to prep."
Your gut feeling usually doesn't lie when it comes to women. I went on a blind date years ago and when I walked in to the restaurant her face was expressionless. If her eyes don't light up a little when they see then you're probably not their type. Even though she was reserved the date went well and it was she who suggested we go on a second date but then she never returned my call several days later. My initial gut instinct told me I wasn't her type and that turned out to be true. She wasn't exactly mine either but she wasn't ugly.
Well, it was the first time that her and I met outside of school after a long time just chatting and video calling. It was a cozy and chill coffee shop, I was a little late to arrive and when I was at the door, through the glass I could see her sitting in there but her expression was neutral but when I came she immediately smiled to greet me and I could see her face a little lift up. She was kind of an introvert and I feel she was a little fidget during the conversation. She did ask some question about my job and activities recently so is that a good enough sign ?
@@docsavage8640I suggest you stop being paranoid about that. Meals are usually not _that_ expensive (if they are, you're not at the right place for a first date). If you can afford to feed yourself, then buying anyone a meal every now and then won't leave you broke either. You shouldn't buy them jewelry, clothing, accessories, flights, cars, or houses, though.
Dont forget " I'm a bad texter" means they are not interested. A woman that is interested will message or call you very quickly no hesitation. Even people with ADHD that are interested will reply back quickly.
Money isn't the end all be all. Your looks and game also have to be on point. I've seen plenty of rich dudes who suck with women and I've also seen men with nothing attracting women.
I was shocked when my wife ask to see me again and treat me out to a nice restaurant and bike riding on our second date. I took my wife to her favorite place which is Panera Bread. She really care about not spending all my money at a expensive place.
No response might be a response, but it’s a response that they are too immature to be direct. Getting ghosted hurts so much worse than just hearing “sorry, I don’t think this is a good fit”
@@uctom7364ya, and Cortney is on record of agreeing that ghosting is immature and ultimately is not letting some down easy but thought it was interesting she left that perspective out this time.
And another problem is that sometimes "no response" is genuinely not a response. I've known a lot of people, ESPECIALLY women, who simply don't respond. Sometimes it's a comfort level thing, other times it's that she simply isn't sure how to respond and wants to make sure that she gets it right. It's not that they don't like you. It's not that they have a problem with you. She just doesn't respond "because..."
@@TheWinterfox10 recently got told i had no boundaries for sending a message every couple days while she was going through something, i did give up after a few messages and let the ball stay in her court for a week until she came back furious. I pointed out that it’s not exactly fair to say i violated boundaries when she didn’t communicate a single one. She claimed that silence and not responding are “clear boundaries” and i really wanted to send back “The Dude” meme of “thats kind of just your opinion man…” but i disengaged. Got my closure. Was never going to work out. But i agree with what you said, theres even examples form earlier with her of her not responding only to come back and apologize for it after a few days and wasn’t mad that i had sent an extra message or two. Might have been a good time to communicate boundaries. I dodged a bullet though. She really wanted me to honor the boundaries in her head and be a mind reader. I really cared about her cuz she has a beautiful heart underneath her defenses and im sure she has her reasons but all i good say was essentially “good luck with that”
This video popped up under my suggestions, so I figured I'd check it out. After a 25+ year relationship/marriage, I find myself back in the dating pool. And it could use some chlorine. I was introduced by the mom of one of my kid's friends to one of her friends. We set up a date. She had to cancel (sign #5). When I tried to reschedule, she was too busy that week (#1), but was available the next week. Date went fine, but she had to cut it short (#3). She didn't decline a 2nd date (#4) and it went well. I tried to set up a 3rd date. She was non-committal (maybe #4?) because she was busy (back to #1). I had to go out of town, but offered to take her out for 2 specific events when I got back. She never responded back (#2). So, I hit on all 5 signs. I had to laugh my way through this video. I don't know that she wasn't interested in me, but I definitely feel like she wasn't ready to date at that point in time. I would like to add a 6th sign: When the friend that introduced the two of you then tells you she wants to introduce you to ANOTHER friend (without you saying anything to her about how it's going with the first one)...that's probably a sign that the first one isn't going to work out.
Can i ask what made you continue contacting her? Because men have zero patience or interest to pursue me. So i am curious as to what does she do or say to make you pursue her even when she is rejected you
@@NiftyatFifty-cv9ig yeah that’s my suspicion.. just looks. Nothing matters if you just look hot. Or if you are a manipulative psycho.. that also works
I've had a couple of women just say, "Sorry, but I'm just not feeling it" and I've said it two a couple of women as well. That's the easiest and most respectful of each other's time.
That’s one thing I came to terms with. If she’s not interested there is no point to keep trying just move on. If she was interested even if she was busy she would be making an effort to meet up even if it’s late at night during the work week. Busy people are always changing their schedule to do things that are important to them.
Happy Sunday, Courtney ❤! A personal story that I went through one time was a woman I met a few years ago through a mutual friend of ours and she was cool and we were talking, we exchanged numbers and we were talking and getting to know each other. Each time I set up a time to meet up with her, she cancelled each time. The first time, she rescheduled it so I let it slide. Second time she did it, she cancelled but didn't rescheduled so I let it go. Third time she initiates it and I agreed with her to meet up with her but then she cancelled on me. By that point, I already knew that she was a flake in my perspective I remember a few weeks later, she later admitted to me via text message saying "I'm a flake, I know" and I responded with "I know" She later apologized again through text message for flaking on me and asked me if her and I can be friends again, and I left her on read. At that point, I didn't want to waste my time anymore and never spoke to her since then
She's not interested in or probably even capable of a stable relationship, sounds like she gets off on the process of seeing how often she can reel guys back in. I'd be curious to hear her articulate what her concept of "being friends" is. Thankfully you didn't get financially and legally entangled with her - someone like this will eventually drop a grenade into your relationship, cheat on you, etc. I'll bet a buck Nancy Lanza's (Adam Lanza's mother) profile was similarly flaky.
1) 1:00 Repeatedly says “I’m busy” 2:11-3:34 Betterhelp sponsor ad 2) 3:38 She will go ghost mode 3) 4:48 Cut the date short 4) 7:01 She declines a second date 5) 9:46 Continuously flake or cancel
The best dating lesson I learned was when coming back from lunch with a work colleague two women came out the gate - Thinking they were not within hearing, one said "I like him" - meaning me - and the other said "Nah...I like the other guy". That taught me that some will like you and some will not. Life is like that - some do, some don't. SImple.
I mean she's telling the truth as long as it's not always her consistently saying I'm busy... But if you guys are ex's trying to get back together and are friends she might just need space or she's going through things and she doesn't wanna tell you it could be other things leading to not wanting to hangout... Like stress mental issues where she's depressed or just wants alone time
I once met this awesome girl online that I talked to for two months. She was a bit flaky but to no fault of her own. Things would come up like she was sick, had an appointment etc. But the second time we met in person she said, "I'm still feeling a bit sick but I didn't want to bail on you again." Sometimes, there is genuine interest but things just get in the way. That said, we lost touch because life got a bit too busy for her and she discovered a bit late she wasn't ready to date, but she was upfront and honest with me about that. No ghosting. Again, awesome girl and I wish her well.
@DanielJS489. She was "too busy" and "not ready to date." Translation: she was too busy pursuing other options and not ready to date you. But she might reconsider if you hit the lottery.
@@LABoyko Gee way to completely miss my point there bud. Not all women are like that, the same way that not all men are misogynistic pigs who just want to sleep around. You really don't have to read into it in the worst way possible, especially since you know absolutely nothing about this particular woman beyond what I just told you. Judge not lest ye be judged.
@@LABoyko I was being vague so as not to get too personal. "Too busy" are my words, not hers. My point is that not all women are like what you described. And this particular woman wasn't. It's not fair to generalize, especially analyzing some other guy's comment if you've never met him or the girl he's talking about.
Don´t listen to these comments bro. This generation thinks women don´t have a personal life and preferences and would drop their life just because you started looksmaxing. She and you did well and it happens a lot that people are simply not in the right headspace
A well mannered person who is interested says things like "I can't go on Thursday. Is there any chance we could do it Saturday?" Or perhaps "I'm sorry. I can't make it this time. Please ask me again."
My advice for the guys out there: don't worry about "dating" in the traditional sense, especially with apps.... More often than not it's not worth your time. Your time would be best spent reflecting inwards on what YOU want to achieve in your life, and make that your life's mission ... Once you're on your "path" and have defined your goals, everything else will fall into place
Let's stop taking love, relationships and family for granted. Today i wish i paid more attention to my wife. I have battled depression since my wife left me. I have tried all I can to make her see that I love her with everything I am made of but she has insisted on leaving. This has made me so empty, and I do not know what to do. I can barely function properly at work. I am frustrated and miserable. I really miss her.
Have you considered that she's moved on? Like another guy. I know it's hard to take. They'll monkey branch to another dude before leaving most of the time. If she's done that let her go. Go work on yourself. That "friend" in her dms. "He's gay!" Nope.
@@BruceKnapp-n4q1. Any woman that is not a God Fearing woman 1. Will pay God’s Chastisement. Whether it’s in this life or the next 2. Never Idolize anybody but give your life to God and what he wills for you. Any idol that you have you have whether it be food, alcohol comfort/sleep is dead end. You’ve hit that dead end and now it’s left you distraught. God is will ask you to turn around and follow him in his *Infinite Glory* Brother! Pray, accept Gods Graces and let him work through you. Not just get over or leave the idol of that woman but to overcome ALL your vices, sins, idols and overall bad habits. You can do this man. I wish you well🫡
After getting burned so much from dating it’s given me a self worth boost after doing a lot of work on myself. If someone isn’t interested or leading me on I don’t have time to play those games
Some people are just incapable of forming real relationships. I used to feel horrible about this woman who completely ghosted me every time we were getting closer. 10 Years later my wife stumbles on her instagram and she's still repeating this pattern with other guys. Sometimes it really is her, not you.
@@grapesodabanked Yeah some women don't change at all. My first gf I was with I had a passionate hook up with 12y after we ended it and after just that one day I noticed she used the same phrases and same opinions as 12y ago. She hadn't grown in anyways. And it felt like there was nothing new about her. Seemed like she had been going from A hole to a hole according to herself. I'm sure she says the same about me.
Sometimes it can be difficult for me to know if someone is interested because women can behave so differently. One woman's "just being nice" is another woman's flirting. I just try to be myself and see who is drawn to me.
@@JACQUEZ23it means stop overthinking everything. Enjoy life. Stop placing every bitch you see on a pedestal. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn’t, it doesn’t lol. Sure you can chase. But ask yourself something. Is it worth the time to chase someone else and not a better you? For me I chose the latter. It’s much more rewarding.
I’m a 62 yo male that was widowed this past year and am now looking to date again…which is difficult rediscovering the do’s & don’ts after 40 year hiatus. I appreciate Courtney’s topics and the candor in which she covers them. Videos like this one especially have been helpful in navigating when to continue what seems like a connection vs knowing when to move on.
I once had someone who kept telling me she’s busy, and kept rescheduling! So I gave up perusing her, but to my surprise she really was busy, she finally came around and gave me time we dated and were really happy for many years!
One of the first lessons my therapist taught me is getting rejected is a part of life and is not my fault. Once i was able to seperate the rejection from self blame I started doing better socially. Finding out who isnt a compatible match is always a step closer to finding out who is simply by process of elimination.
Quite literally if you get rejected it's your fault😂 the whole point of this video was you're supposed to take accountability and that s*** just went in one ear and out the other😂
@@robertstone9988 the video literally says "you're not for everyone" meaning rejection is inevitable and often not your fault. What you said is as irrational as saying a jazz musician is responsible for when listeners don't like jazz. Some people just don't want what you're offering, but that doesn't mean what you're offering is bad. Think a bit...
@@robertstone9988 so if a girl was looking for a servant who has his balls tortured, while being financially-dominated... you would provide that? And if not, you consider that your own failure? 🥲
A girl I used to work with asked for my number after I ran into her a while after she quit. She said it would be cool to study together. I followed up by texting her and she responded later. I then told her we should go to the library soon (because that's what we had spoken about, it was her idea) to no reply. I then double texted her a few days later to tell her I was at the library studying, just to remind her in case she still wanted to join me sometime. She then said that she was sorry about not responding earlier and that she was still interested in hanging out and studying. I told her it was cool and that I'd be free on this specific day and that's the last time she texted back. I never bothered to double text her again because if I mattered to her she would have replied the last time. Texting is weird, I just don't get it because hanging out was her idea and she's the one that asked for my number 🤷♂I was still wanting to hang out but I am not going to be bugging her about it.
I think this is a prime example of you were an option until something/someone better came along, hurts to hear it I know I’ve been there myself but I’ve also seen it happen to so many guys who will get strung so far along and never make it to the end. Sad really that that’s how it has to be
Well to be fair sometimes I’m really tired and all I have energy to focus on is breathing and existing, and I’ve had people misinterpret me being tired as not being interested so 🤷♀️
"No response is a response." If only more men had the capacity to take a hint. The dudes that double, triple, quadruple text without getting a reply need to hear this. Nothing more depressing than seeing a guy write multiple paragraphs for months on end thinking that she'll eventually come around.
Thank you!! I'm glad that I saw this on UA-cam. I had asked a co-worker out, didn't know she was interested in me. Like you said having unspoken interests, when she did finally open up to me it was already too late. I was at a Halloween party and I was leaving the party, saying good bye, I had kissed another woman. I had told my friend who hosted the party and she told my co-worker that was very interested in me. A few days later she had then told me that we could've had something. Eventually, I did ask her out but I feel things are a little arkward at times. When I try to ask her if she needs help, she kinda gives me the cold shoulder or is kinda short with me. She once told me that she is a very independent woman. I respect that , but it's always okay to ask for some every now and then. I just wanted her to understand that you don't have to everything on your own, and it's always okay to ask for help
In your heart you know when one isn't feeling you. Usually they'll just straight out tell you. People interested put in the same amount of effort you put in.
Just started the video, and I already know this one. You can't do anything wrong, and she says yes to everything when she's interested. Any less than that, she's just considering you, and if your that guy, she'll be looking to replace you from the jump.
I went on a date with a girl, that by all metrics I felt had gone well. She gave me her number (we had been using a dating app to text prior) and after that she completely ghosted. I agree that no response is a response (something I had a hard time learning in the past) but giving strong signals of interest and then ghosting makes it very difficult to interpret that response.
Just move on. She probably had several offers of dates and gets a kick from going on dates so just put it down to a bad experience.. There are some decent women out there who do not use dating sites and i personally would not use one of those sites.
A while back, I invited a young woman out on a date and she was down. I took the lead and said when and where and she agreed. The day of the date she backed out because she said she wasn't feeling well so she agreed to reschedule (I gave her the benefit of the doubt). The 2nd time we agreed to go out, the day of the date she told me she was at a doctors appointment. After receiving that response I simply deleted her # and never spoke to her again. If a woman is truly interested, she's going to show it and if she's not interested have enough self respect to not beg for her attention and simply move on.
If she cancels on you and don't offer another day, the, you shouldn't even try for a second. She cancelled on you, then she has to bring an alternative or you never bring a second date or same thywill happen
What I would do maybe have done, I don't recommend this, but I would have used her for self amusement until she asks you to stop messaging her or ignores you completely or you peak her interest to ask you out. Again I don't necessarily recommend this as this carries risk and must be done correctly.
@@ramo886 yeah, I just don't have time to play these games women play. If she's not interested, I simply won't reach out to her again and move on with my life.
@@jimmymcwatters4182 that's mature way of dealing with it. My way (self amusement) could lead to more trouble. That's why I say I don't recommend it necessarily. It's like turning the tables back on her in a way. But if you have better things to do, that's good.
Hi, I've never been on one and I'm 43, social anxiety and depression tends to make you avoid such situations. I've never actively attempted to get a date on dating sites because women have such high standards they only give attention to 6ft plus good looking men so why bother? I just don't see the use of going to what is essentially a job interview only to he rejected.
Money makes the difference. Courtney knows it and we all know it. Look at the rock on her finger. They wait for the winners. Only your mom loves you, as a man. Women love money. THE END!!!!
@stevetuckey Where you finding girls at live shows? I as a guitarist attracted girls easily just bc I played guitar, not because they had any real appreciation of me as a person
I dated a great girl last year. She communicated with me daily despite working a 10 hour shift. She always asked me follow up questions and showed interest in my hobbies. We could spend time at a restaurant or just in the car talking. The relationship didn't last because we both lost interest but it did set the standard of what i want from a partner when dating.
I only test if she is not a narcissist. The best trick I found out, is to ask her if she likes cuddling. If she say no, she is probably a narcissist or an abused victim from a narcissist 🤭🤷♀️🤦♀️
i m following a narcissistic victim...she feigns indifference but i always have her around my workplace in search of attentions...i obviously totally ignore her but u know..these people easy attach themselves to rejection and indifference....
I find most women are either narcissists or emotionally attached to narcissists due to all the useless interactions they had with toxic guys before they met you
Just so you've heard, I did have someone who was interested in me that cut the date short. Her stepdad was in a car accident and she left in genuine shock so. Generally a great rule, I think you're spot on (with the caveat when it's obvious she does have to go).
I had a girl who would hastily and angrily move away from me at the gym if I came even remotely close to her. I always kept at least 10 ft distance. I never said or did anything that could be considered romantic interest. I knew from that she does not like me.
Similar thing happened to me where a girl seemed to not like me at all even though I didn't do anything. I was trying to become a personal trainer so I shadowed a female trainer on my campus and after acting completely normal she just seemed to have something against me every time I saw her.
Did you talk to her or are you lurking around her hoping to get her attention? If you're lurking, you probably creeped her out. You don't know anything about her. If she is in a relationship or into girls. If you have spoken to her and you got the vibe she was not interested, why give her a second thought? She may be a nice person but there could be a million reasons why she is not interested. Do your workout regardless where she is in the gym. If she doesn't want to be anywhere near you, that's her problem. Bonus tip: When talking to ANYONE you have never met before, talk to them as if you are already friends. Relaxed and casual. Some people may be uncomfortable with that and that's when you extend your hand and introduce yourself. Others will treat you like they already know you too and those are the people you want to get to know.
@@TheNewMexicoMan I talked to her casually while she was training her client. She then said if I have any questions about personal training I DM her but she answered me maybe once and just ghosted me then whenever I saw her at the gym she just tried to avoid me.
To be fair as I guy I do the same thing too haha. I understand everyone is trying to better themselves at the gym but constantly staring, interrupting my sets and unnecessarily walking around me is very frustrating. So she might be avoiding you for one of those reasons or she may just want to be left alone, whatever it may be as long as you focus on your workout, you’ll be fine.
I appreciate a woman who is honest. If she just isn't interested in me, I don't want to waste time, $$, and effort with her getting that 2nd date. Even if you convinced her for another date, she's just marking time until someone more her interest comes along. Don't sign up for that. If you are talking with her and it seems like you have coerce her to even speak, it's an empty tree for you Dawg. Read the room. Don't be throwing your good heart after bad love.
I just left a message on my boss's whattsapp asking her out for coffee, and just stepped out of my apartment. When I got home, I got a message from her asking "Are you free tomorrow?" I said "Free as a bird."
Really good tips. Being polite when being turned down is such a good show of character and self confidence. Experience from so many mistakes lol. Or happy accidents rather. Great video
I always say no answer is an answer. Response is of course the same. Attitude is everything, if she's reluctant, stop and go away. Creepiness is pursuing against what she desires. The loss is theirs if they want nothing from me, that's how I see it now.
I have experienced all of these from multiple women so I can confirm these are all accurate. If somebody is interested in you, YOU WILL KNOW. There will be no doubt.
I had a similar situation but kind of flipped on its head. A woman was clearly interested in me over the course of the last year, and I like her alot too; but my current life circumstances aren't great and she deserves someone better. I'm not in any position to drag someone I care about down to my current level, just know that she deserves better.
I love your content! Thank you for posting all of your videos. After being divorced I've experienced all ends of the spectrum, from the "this is how hot chicks feel" to "darn, guess she wasn't interested". I can honestly say it's been a learning experience through and through and your videos have been an influential part in that. Best of luck with everything moving forward!
Thank you for this, it’s nice to have a woman’s advice to help men out with this. Biggest takeaway guys is do not chase, if they are genuinely interested then they will want to try and connect with you otherwise just let them go.
Remember the Brady Bunch epsiode Marsha tells the classmate boy "somethings suddlenly has come up" to get out of going on the date with him. Then there's the eposide with Davy Jones takes Marsha to the prom. Big difference in Marsha's reaction. I know is a old TV show, but it relates to real life dating today.
4:20 I recently had an issue with this and ghosting only because I was being breadcrumbed, her apologizing about not getting back to me (says she was busy etc), and I took it at face value (in horrible at sign reading). Lesson learned
I had a girl flake on me twice which was just plain rude. She first cancelled on me very last minute coming up with an excuse then when we rescheduled a week in advance and I asked where she would like to meet up she said how she went out of town and asked for another reschedule. At that point I knew she did not want to see me so I asked if she'd be down to facetime instead, she said "of course" and guess what it never happened. I talk to her on social media, which I've heard is a really bad way to determine if the girl is into you.
Imo it's always a bad idea to give a girl access to any of your social media profiles before you've met them and I still think it shouldn't happen until you've reached a 3rd date and you're about to take things to the next level. It feels like it can only harm you. They could find pics they don't like or make snap judgements (such as thinking you're a player if you have recent pics with a girl that happens to be a friend), or they just find out too much about you and lose interest due to lack of mystery, which I've found is important when courting someone. The less you reveal up front, the more intrigued they are and the more excited they will be for a date. Also, I don't like trying to find women I'm courting on social media because I don't want to start idolizing them. It can be easy to scroll through their pics and you start finding your favorites and painting an idealized picture of them and your potential relationship in your head that isn't healthy and makes it much harder if things don't work out. Also, it can mess with your head if you see posts from others guys on their wall, which could make you jealous or be too assertive thinking you've got competition you've got to overcome immediately... So yeah just stay away from connecting on social media until you're ready to start being exclusive, imo.
It's always better to get her number and just resort to texting over connecting on social media, imo. I just think all the reasons I mentioned are why it's just a bad idea during the courting process (before you're "in" and ready to be exclusive). Let mystery work in your favor.
Hi Courtney, I am on the other side of the age spectrum and have gained a lot of relationship experience over time. You are spot on with your advice and I can attest to experiencing pretty much all of them from women I have had first dates with. It can be pretty brutal and ego denting but you just have to put it down to experience and move on. Trying to avoid making the same mistakes is extremely important
Yes! You are correct. The “busyness” excuse is just another excuse. It’s like using the bathroom. Somehow, despite being tremendously busy, she will somehow find time to use the bathroom everyday in the midst of her “busyness.” And by the same token, she can always find time for you, if she really wants to. If she does not, then she’s too busy.
"I'm bad at texting" "I'm not on here much" "Thank you." "I'm busy" Etc etc etc If she wants to talk to you and wants your attention, you're not her #1 choice. Women spend multiples of more time on phones vs men. Women also play more games than men. Choose those who choose you as nothing is better than GBD
"I'm not on here much" Oh god, I fell for this one because i really liked the person. But i learned since i really liked someone i installed Snapchat, despite never using it, for a girl i was dating because that was her go to app to communicate. That shows i liked her
Im a man that say im bad at texting, I prefer to set a date and talk in person. So I leave the texting for that alone. So I think I dont apply here. Most girls are on phones all the time, me almost never.
I really liked a man, but he was only using me for sex (he was oplympian good at it). He would treat me well during the date but would ghost me in between dates (I would not contact him either). I got out of a 10-year relationship in 2022, so what's going on out there is really confusing for me, I thought people had sex because they liked each other, but I've learnt it's not like that. This was my first and last experience, will never do that again. I am naturally sensitive and loyal. I find most people nasty. I don't even understand why people see multiples person at the same time, it makes no sense to me.
They're adapted to it. Once upon a time they were like you and now, they've changed to that. Who knows what drove them there, but we know how they are now.
To keep it simple. Ask yourself why you would do certain actions or behaviours? You will have your answer. This mindset will save you while dating or even save you while being in an abusive relationship. My lesson from a Narcissist.
This is my story I gave her a hoodie and she seemed excited about getting it. Then one time I went to a pancake charity thing for kids and I bought her a t shirt from that event and gave it to her about 3 months after the hoodie. More to this later She takes like 2 days to respond to my texts where I respond in like less than 10 minutes. She even disappears to another time zone in the country and doesn't tell me she'll be gone for a bit. I had a ticket for both of us to a sporting event going on. I just gave it to a friend. She doesn't seem to be as affectionate as I am. I spoil her so much that I over did it. For her birthday I bought her a duffle bag and stuffed it with random stuff like toiletries, a new hoodie (Her favorite team) and all sorts of things that I know she'll love. If you count and add with Christmas it went over to $600 of random stuff. For both birthdays and 2 Xmas' Then like 8-10 months later she gave my Christmas present to me and when I opened it it was the same hoodie and shirt from that pancake thing I was at but I didn't recognize it at the time since my mind was thinking of other stuff. And she wouldn't spend Valentines day with me. The next day I fell apart and lost it, she knows how I feel about her but doesn't want the same. She also seems to be having more fun in life without me. What advice I can give to everyone: don't impulsive spend on someone, it feels like a bad investment now. And please be straight forward with a the other person. She is not straight forward in words with me and only with how she is.
Yea I pretty much had the same situation and spent the same amount. But when I said Imma be a man and let her know I don't wanna just be friends I want to date her. She told me to first invest in her business and then we could possibly be together but right now it's just business on her mind. I'm probably more mad because I spent mad bread on someone I never even kissed..smh I basically donated money for a conversation
Great insights that I can verify as an old guy. In my long life, no woman who was ever interested in me, was ever "too busy." In fact, many would border on too intrusive, wanting to contact me/see me constantly. The flaking is also a bad sign, as is the ghosting. I've noticed that when I was young, in the pre-electronics days, women typically didn't do this stuff. I think they were more skilled in interacting with men, more diplomatic. Listen to Courtney, guys, I know it's tough to face rejection but best to move on. Once you find a girl interested in you, you'll forget the ones who weren't.
Due to social media, the new move I experience is for a woman to just come over for the first date. I cook, we drink wine, and we see how it goes. This is a high value woman. In this case, i think of a woman I met at a gas pump who flies long haul from NYC to Amsterdam. "Let's just omit the courting thing, and get right with it," she said...and so the new restaurant is my place. The new theatre is my place. The new bar is my place. And this is very new, but the formal date is something new I am experiencing. It was this way in college here in Knoxville and its this way now. So when she shows up, and they always do, she's interested. But cutting straight to it and omitting the courting IS new. And its only among the upper class.
If she ain’t interested in you she will putt little to no effort towards you. If it’s online through text she will take forever to reply back or ignore ur messages
What about if they play hot and cold? Like sometimes they'll text u a lot and put a lot of effort and emojis and sometimes they just don't text back at all lol
@@Woeisme2 she’s playing games with you.. it’s a red flag.. Guys as we get older we want serious not cat and mouse games.. I know cause a friend of mine told me that and I’ve experienced it beforehand.. never again
@Aesthetic626 it's so weird though I feel like the more interest you put toward someone the more you push them away and if u become more avoidant and less interested they seem to like you more. It's like you can be interested but not too interested. These games are wack, I'll probably just stay single lol
I have noticed one thing. Every time on a date if they offer to split the bill then i never see them again. I think they feel bad you paying for it all when they know they are not interested.
Happened to me one time. Eventually the person said they weren't ready to date anyone. Then they would invite me out just to ghost me. Found out they were in a long distance relationship with their old boyfriend.
One thing I learned a loooong time ago (in my early 20s) is that if a girl was interested, she'd go out of her way to cancel HER plans to spend time with you.
If she is not interested in you she will: - Not tell you she is not interested. - See/date others guys. - Talk to others how annoying you are. - Crave your attention. - Tell others you don't get her signals that she don't want you even if she never said anything like that. - Be afraid to hurt your feelings by telling you the truth that she don't want you. - When you try to ignore her, she will try to talk to you and keep up the charade.
It's rude and disgusting that she tells others people about the private conservation we had. I try to respect women and men, but there are things that are so off limits and not okay and there is no letting it slide.
So much for the old "he chases her til she catches him" tradition. I used to hear this a lot in the old days that you weren't supposed to give up, that women expected you to keep trying and you weren't supposed to take no for an answer, that this was some sort of turn-on for them because it showed you you had confidence and guts. On the other hand my own experience was always that it just got them angry with me so maybe it was a myth. And with "me-too/call-the-cops" feminism running rampant own, just never mind...
I think it has to be hard for people to suss out the difference between being very friendly and being interested romantically. As a woman, I find myself not wanting to NOT be my bubbly self but also not wanting to lead anyone on. Last year I had dinner alone at my favorite restaurant and just sat up at the bar area. Two men who were friends sat next to me and we had a fun conversation for the next hour. One of the men kept dropping suggestions that he could take me to do certain things together, not picking up on how I wasn’t confirming a plan or telling him I was actually interested. I felt awkward because he was with a friend so shooting him down point blank while we would have to sit there finishing our dinner would be a major vibe kill for everyone. I initially agreed to give both men my number because of working in tech and offering to help them with jobs. Basic networking. They BOTH texted me that evening and both asked me out. Then when I said no to both, the both kept texting every once in a while, even when I stopped responding. Truly, when people aren’t picking up what you’re putting down you have to leave it be. It makes people so uncomfortable and makes you look desperate and kinda crazy.
My perspective is different. Even when a woman is being nice, I just take it as such. Maybe she could be flirting, but I could never tell. It doesn't help that I am on the spectrum. I am not good when it comes to non-verbal communication. I am not a mind reader. In fact, no one is.
Needed to hear this. It hurts cuz I recently went on a date with a girl I went to HS with and there was a good vibe the whole time with us both laughing, smiling, and reminiscing. By the end of it SHE even said we should go out again. We even kinda made a plan on what we would do on a second date cuz we bonded over talking about a place we both used to go to when we were younger that we havent been to in forever, and talked about going there some time. Seemed like a connection was forming and I was prepared to give my all towards a relationship with this girl, but then suddenly she is hardly ever responding to me, and keeps blowing off my attempts to make a plan cuz shes "too busy" without making any effort to schedule a time that does work for her. I just dont get why dating women is so often like this. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about how much I want to hear from her and see her again, but this video inspired me to move on. Deleted her on IG, Hinge, and her number. If she is ever ready to give some effort back, she knows where to find me.
Olej ją ciepłym moczem. Nie goń jej. Jak ją spotkasz na ulicy to udawaj że jej nie znasz. Totalnie ją ignoruj. Nie myśl o niej. Nie odpowiadaj jej nawet "cześć".
Women often play games of the mind and heart. However, their true thoughts and intentions always surface at the end of the game either via their words or conduct. She led you on knowing she had no interest. She fed off your enthusiasm and attention. It made her feel good or important, but the charade could only go so far and for so long.
Courtney-from all the guys thanks for the “big sis-lil bro” advice. We mostly know this anyways but it’s helpful to hear it in a calm voice. We need it from time to time. Thanks 👍🏼
The last point was extremely helpful. The last girl I went on a date with constantly kept rescheduling dates and it got to a point where I realized that it’s shouldn’t take us over a month to see each other. We literally lived 20 mins from each other. I seen my friends who live 3 hours from me more than I have seen her. It’s just a silly excuse. Thank you though!
Got ghosted after date #2 since she hit 3 of your points. I was gonna text her “if you’re not interested, just let me know honestly.” But was told that the best answer is no answer.
If a women ghost you no contact treat her like a ghost and never speak to her again don't even bother with that text if your not interested you know she's not if she was she wouldn't have ghosted you
yeah good play man, best to just leave it. I was struggling with a girl for little bit as she didnt initiate texts or conversations or even checked up on me but was always keen to catch up and always texted me back, had 2 dates with her, but the whole time it felt like i was doing all the pursuing and I just found it really hard to keep it going with this girl, then recently she stopped writing back to my texts , so I knew it was time to just leave it, "no response is a reponse"
*It’s refreshing to see advice that encourages self-awareness and emotional intelligence in dating. This kind of guidance is essential for fostering healthier relationships!*
Go to our sponsor betterhelp.com/courtneyryan for 10% off your first month of therapy with BetterHelp and get matched with a therapist who will listen and help.
Instead of "Eh, i'm not interested I want to leave", I would recommend, "I don't see a future for us, would you like to continue to talk or would you like to leave?" That way the person can choose whether or not to share a meal with you with no expectation of further time spent together or just go home immediately. I'm going to guess 99% of the time they're going to leave immediately, and the 1% of the time, you spent an hour and a half of your time talking to someone new. Also, if you do this on a dinner date, you better be expecting to go dutch afterwards.
I think the solution is for women to stop dating only good looking men.
Women have replaced husband with paycheck and God with government. Thus their need to marry and procreate is no longer there thus they reject the vocation to marriage and family. This is why single people are now the majority and western nations are having demographic problems.
O.K. no problem I'm not difficult to find
Courtney, did you say you want to talk to me privately on telegram?
If she’s not interested, then she’s not interested. I’m not going to chase her and become needy. She’ll put no effort towards you and she’ll take a long time to reply to you. And that’s okay, just move on and you’ll be fine.
Amen!
@@CourtneyRyanI think most women are fairly clear when expressing their disinterest. Thats fine but why do women feel the need to be rude or offensive about it? Also how do you spot women who fane interest because they want your time, money, energy, or other resources? Great video. Thanks
😶🌫️😶🌫️😶🌫️
I threw myself at her so much that she dosen't seem to want it. My mom told me don't chase or beg for love and attention from a female. I'm dissapointed it didn't work out.
@@fallenangels4618Women who do that don’t see men as separate human beings with feelings, goals, and thoughts. And that’s great because it’s
a huge red flag you can spot early.
"The busiest people in the world make time for what they are interested in "
Golden quote, Courtney.
It’s not what she “does” that lets you know she’s not interested.. it’s what she DOESN’T do. She doesn’t text you first.. doesn’t call you out of the blue, doesn’t reach out to show interest, doesn’t make time for you, doesn’t communicate.. period. This is universal among both men and women.
I swear that’s her rn, i planned for the date and we went out she cancelled for real reason, put we went out the date wasn’t that good because she been talking about her past love which made me kinda jealous and i went full masculine mode took her home while she was waiting for something from me i don’t know what it is but we were alone at night, i saw her the next day i approached her while she was kinda mad but she agreed to go out with me to play bowling everything went well, now she do not send anything or ask me about what’s going on
Sometimes, a psycho jerk intrudes without being welcome, and starts offering unsolicited advice telling people what to do, deliberately ruining people’s chance at love just because he didn’t have his chance.
@@Jusexle That mess was edited?
Yo thank you I needed to hear this and was thinking it coming in
Interesting,so why would a girl link elbows with you in a car and also in a photograph puts her arm in my arm ,is this interest or disinterest ,positive or negative body language
Finding the 'Flirtosphere Seduction' ebook should be your top priority, even if it's the last thing you do in life
If you are not interested in someone be an adult and tell them you are not interested. It’s that simple.
Every narcissist woman needs "orbiters" for Plan B, Plan C, etc. This is one of the ways to get orbiters.
Asking people to "be an adult".... this will never happen
I thought this video was for highschoolers
You know, many people can't take a no.
I concur, but people aren’t like that anymore.
If you're asking her questions during your date to get to know her, she gives you short answers and not ask you any questions to get to know you she's might not interested.
Any woman who doesn't talk nonstop when given the opportunity is clearly not interested because that it otherwise their favorite thing to do.
Recently had a similar experience, I was asking all the questions and there were no followup questions from her. Felt like talking to a brick wall, so I called it off there and then.
no brainer
Gives short or one word unenthusiastic responses. Not answers. The tone of voice is very telling, especially over the phone. It is not just words. If it was face to face, the body language will speak much more. Your gut feeling/ intuition/ instinct/ feeling vibes will normally be correct. Don't allow what you want to blind you and see things for what they are.
Wow thanks for giving us common sense advice
-Answer messages one day later
-Short Answers
-Contacts you when she needs something
-Excuses to date you
-She doesnt make questions
Pretty accurate!
yup
@@CourtneyRyan, what if it's
-reply a few days later
-detailed long responses
@@inbb510it means you are low on her priority of texting, meaning she is talking to a good amount of others, if it was just you it takes moments to read a message and respond, best case is they work a really demanding job both on time and mental capacity, such as being a doctor/surgeon stuff like that
@CoCo.-_- even then it's b.s. and means you're at best a backup plan. Everyone has a few minutes here and there to respond to you even if it's just to say "in the middle of XYZ, I'll call you at XYZ" or something equivalent
The striking point of this video I think is "No response is a response", Thanks Courtney.
I feel that the best response to no response is to just walk away.
DUH NO SHIT EINSTEIN 11:14 dont GIIVE them a response Grey rock let them guess silence is deafening
You should never have a fear of losing something, there are no pockets in your coffin!
I'm always petty and gotta have the last words but doing that with women is mission impossible. The side effects of growing up with 3 sisters.
No that's what women say when they don't wanna admit ghosting is immature.
There's a book called Casanova Playbook of Magnetism, and it talks from body language and conversaton starters to dark mind tricks and flirting through texts, it's the real deal
AI ad?
Dude, obvious grifter material.
In my twenties, I used to feel a blow to my ego whenever I faced rejection, often delving into deep introspection and even shedding tears in the process. With the passage of time and gained experience, I've come to realize that as men, rejection is an inevitable part of life. While it's never a pleasant experience, the key is to embrace it as a natural occurrence. No one enjoys being rejected, but instead of dwelling on the "whys," it's best to swiftly move forward. Over time, you'll grow accustomed to it, and eventually, it won't even faze you anymore.
Great advice
I agree. In my twenties it seemed like a gut punch. In my thirties, it's more a like a job interview and not personal at all.
Yes, grow callus and cold..if you respect a womens opinion, you won't be successful dating.
Stoicism is the way.
So basically you learned to get Thick Skin. Two ways about it. You can hate on other women for it. Use them for what they have and Leave. Or just Stay true to who you. Wanna be No matter how hard you have Been Treated.
Believe me, if she’s interested in you, she will make the time to see you and not make excuses.
in which it is now so rare
what if bith people think the same way, and that is why nobody makes a move
@@Xmudrykkif both people think that way, it doesn’t stop them from responding. You’re responding to something that wasn’t said
When I took my wife on our first date to Panera Bread because she really love that place. She was interested in seeing me again when she ask me out to lunch and bike riding together on a nice day.
Are you attractive though?
At the end of the day, if someone isn't interested, give them zero attention.
That actually worked on a girl once. I completely ignored her and she wound up coming over a few days later lol
Of course it works women are ass backwards you ignore them they come you give any type of effort because your actually interested she'll run
@@TonyVega123 They usually want what they think they can't have. But even when they truly know they don't want you, they still want the attention.
@@csx6910 Bingo! They always want the attention, and this is where women fail in a major way.
I once met this hot chick thru a friend and I blatantly ignored her. Found out later she liked me, then I was nice to her, she dropped me. I learned.
There's 24 hours in a day and if she can't find even 24 seconds to text you then clearly she's not that interested in you.
I'm an engineer so I like numbers. There are 1440 minutes in 24 hours. One minute out of one day is 0.07% of your time. No excuse to never spend one minute, or the 24 seconds, for a text.
I know 💔💔
Or they can use you for a foodie call. When you try and change to just a walk in the park or a coffee date she switches up and just refuses to continue as well.
No matter how busy someone is they will ALWAYS make time for what is most important to them.
Good advice !,I had a girl once who kept saying she was busy and didn’t respond to messages often, her friends told me she was shy and to not give up on her. I didn’t want to seem like the ass who was rushing her into anything so I gently persisted over weeks thinking she was worth my time and worth the work. When we finally met for a third date she was mildly insulting to me, and I realised not only did she not like me, she had formed her own idea of who I was without getting to know me at all. the shyness hid a judgmental and arrogant character. While a part of me wanted to correct the wrong assumptions I realised Instantly I would be better off putting my time into finding a better person. Feeling happier than I had in a while I nicely excused myself from the date early (no3 of this list I believe). I learned a valuable lesson, don’t waste time and effort on something that doesn’t feel good. Spend it finding something that does.
If she’s breathing, she’s not interested in me
swag
if she's farting when you are around she's interested in you.
humour deluxe 😂
@@narahitesh1341 Unless she's French and farting in your general direction.
@@eddiewillers1You english kinnnnnnnniggets!
Never overstay your welcome, no message is a message. The greatest power that we as people have is walking away.
The sacred boundaries
Ghosting by either party is just rude no matter the intentions. If someone isn't interested, they should just say it. You know that people who ghost don't like it when it's done to them.
Just as you said, if a date short is cut short, then there should be some communication, same goes for here. Even a short text that says 'thanks but no' and maybe throw in a 'good luck.'
Ghosting is the only thing I've ever known. ☹36 and not one date yet.
Unfortunately we live in a society where honesty is rarely practiced and avoiding situations is too common
@highlanderknight unfortunately in today's violent culture telling someone that can go bad really fast
@@docsavage8640 then why isn't the same true for ghosting?
I think what people forget sometimes when getting rejected for a second date or anything along those lines... imagine if they forced themselves to go out with you, think about how unhealthy of a relationship you would have moving forward. You'd both be completely miserable in the end regardless, so why push? Be thankful it's over before things get more serious because of someone pushing through when they don't want to.
Ive never chased a girl, and i never will. Thats one thing ive always been proud of myself about. Im not going to chase or beg anyone to be in my life. Too much self worth and respect
dang right, I'm with you on this .
Ego maybe?
I asked a girl out once for a Saturday night. She said she was busy, but she said she was free Friday night. That was great knowing she was offering an alternative to my Saturday night date invite.
Depends on what she did Saturday night.
@@x-man5056 That's her business. I would never ask her why she was busy Saturday night. Even if she had a date, so what? I have gone out with a few girls who were dating other guys without me knowing it until they chose to end it with them, to be in a relationship with me.
@@x-man5056 Let's be nice lmao
@@x-man5056 Easy. Get free dinner Friday night and share the leftovers with Chad Saturday
@@Hknasw- WTF is WRONG with you?
The weirdest "cut a date short" excuse I heard from a girl was, "Sorry, I need to go; I'm supposed to bake cinnamon rolls with my roommate. It's a 6-8 hour process, and I need to prep."
I mean, give her points for being original?
WHAT 😂
@@mikeklein1779 Cinnamon rolls take about 3 hours to make. She is not only lying. She's lying poorly. Source: me, because I make my own cinnamon rolls
@@aaronburdon221 fair enough. I'm not much of a baker, so I'll defer to you on that. I was just thinking that I haven't heard that excuse before.
@@mikeklein1779 I know, I was just making a point that you could've literally called her out on her bullshit. lol
Your gut feeling usually doesn't lie when it comes to women. I went on a blind date years ago and when I walked in to the restaurant her face was expressionless. If her eyes don't light up a little when they see then you're probably not their type. Even though she was reserved the date went well and it was she who suggested we go on a second date but then she never returned my call several days later. My initial gut instinct told me I wasn't her type and that turned out to be true. She wasn't exactly mine either but she wasn't ugly.
Could have been using you for a free meal
If her eyes don't light up a little noted
Well, it was the first time that her and I met outside of school after a long time just chatting and video calling. It was a cozy and chill coffee shop, I was a little late to arrive and when I was at the door, through the glass I could see her sitting in there but her expression was neutral but when I came she immediately smiled to greet me and I could see her face a little lift up. She was kind of an introvert and I feel she was a little fidget during the conversation. She did ask some question about my job and activities recently so is that a good enough sign ?
@@docsavage8640I suggest you stop being paranoid about that. Meals are usually not _that_ expensive (if they are, you're not at the right place for a first date). If you can afford to feed yourself, then buying anyone a meal every now and then won't leave you broke either.
You shouldn't buy them jewelry, clothing, accessories, flights, cars, or houses, though.
@@lonestarr1490couldn’t have said it better myself
Dont forget " I'm a bad texter" means they are not interested. A woman that is interested will message or call you very quickly no hesitation. Even people with ADHD that are interested will reply back quickly.
yeah i had those "im a bad texter"
I just replied "yeah whatever, you showed me that you kinda suck, bye" then blocked her number
How about if someone says they are bad at checking and sending emails. Is that the same thing.
I go with my gut,and I'm rarely wrong.If my gut tells me she's not interested,I call next.
Just chase the bag brother, money doesn't leave you on delivered
Money isn't the end all be all. Your looks and game also have to be on point. I've seen plenty of rich dudes who suck with women and I've also seen men with nothing attracting women.
@@chief8079 Looks and confidence go a very very long way. Yes, money can certainly attract a whole bunch of women too, but the wrong ones
@@chief8079 im saying forget women in general. Not telling you to get money and then women, just forget the latter, enjoy life
Money DOES leave you on delivered. As soon as it is delivered it is gone.
I was shocked when my wife ask to see me again and treat me out to a nice restaurant and bike riding on our second date. I took my wife to her favorite place which is Panera Bread. She really care about not spending all my money at a expensive place.
No response might be a response, but it’s a response that they are too immature to be direct. Getting ghosted hurts so much worse than just hearing “sorry, I don’t think this is a good fit”
Completely agree. Some very weak communicators out there.
@@uctom7364ya, and Cortney is on record of agreeing that ghosting is immature and ultimately is not letting some down easy but thought it was interesting she left that perspective out this time.
And another problem is that sometimes "no response" is genuinely not a response. I've known a lot of people, ESPECIALLY women, who simply don't respond. Sometimes it's a comfort level thing, other times it's that she simply isn't sure how to respond and wants to make sure that she gets it right.
It's not that they don't like you. It's not that they have a problem with you. She just doesn't respond "because..."
Ghosting is worse for you, but better for them, and that’s what someone who ghosts others cares about: themself.
@@TheWinterfox10 recently got told i had no boundaries for sending a message every couple days while she was going through something, i did give up after a few messages and let the ball stay in her court for a week until she came back furious. I pointed out that it’s not exactly fair to say i violated boundaries when she didn’t communicate a single one. She claimed that silence and not responding are “clear boundaries” and i really wanted to send back “The Dude” meme of “thats kind of just your opinion man…” but i disengaged. Got my closure. Was never going to work out. But i agree with what you said, theres even examples form earlier with her of her not responding only to come back and apologize for it after a few days and wasn’t mad that i had sent an extra message or two. Might have been a good time to communicate boundaries. I dodged a bullet though. She really wanted me to honor the boundaries in her head and be a mind reader. I really cared about her cuz she has a beautiful heart underneath her defenses and im sure she has her reasons but all i good say was essentially “good luck with that”
This video popped up under my suggestions, so I figured I'd check it out.
After a 25+ year relationship/marriage, I find myself back in the dating pool. And it could use some chlorine.
I was introduced by the mom of one of my kid's friends to one of her friends.
We set up a date. She had to cancel (sign #5). When I tried to reschedule, she was too busy that week (#1), but was available the next week. Date went fine, but she had to cut it short (#3). She didn't decline a 2nd date (#4) and it went well. I tried to set up a 3rd date. She was non-committal (maybe #4?) because she was busy (back to #1). I had to go out of town, but offered to take her out for 2 specific events when I got back. She never responded back (#2).
So, I hit on all 5 signs. I had to laugh my way through this video. I don't know that she wasn't interested in me, but I definitely feel like she wasn't ready to date at that point in time.
I would like to add a 6th sign: When the friend that introduced the two of you then tells you she wants to introduce you to ANOTHER friend (without you saying anything to her about how it's going with the first one)...that's probably a sign that the first one isn't going to work out.
This needs to get bumped up to the top of the comment directly under the pinned post.
Can i ask what made you continue contacting her? Because men have zero patience or interest to pursue me. So i am curious as to what does she do or say to make you pursue her even when she is rejected you
@solfh Because he was attracted to her, possibly very attracted to her, so he didn't want to give up easily.
@@NiftyatFifty-cv9ig yeah that’s my suspicion.. just looks. Nothing matters if you just look hot. Or if you are a manipulative psycho.. that also works
I wouldn’t lose sleep on her.
If she tells you "I'm busy" but gives you an alternative for another day, out of her initiative, she wants to hang out.
I've had a couple of women just say, "Sorry, but I'm just not feeling it" and I've said it two a couple of women as well. That's the easiest and most respectful of each other's time.
That’s one thing I came to terms with. If she’s not interested there is no point to keep trying just move on. If she was interested even if she was busy she would be making an effort to meet up even if it’s late at night during the work week. Busy people are always changing their schedule to do things that are important to them.
Happy Sunday, Courtney ❤!
A personal story that I went through one time was a woman I met a few years ago through a mutual friend of ours and she was cool and we were talking, we exchanged numbers and we were talking and getting to know each other. Each time I set up a time to meet up with her, she cancelled each time. The first time, she rescheduled it so I let it slide. Second time she did it, she cancelled but didn't rescheduled so I let it go. Third time she initiates it and I agreed with her to meet up with her but then she cancelled on me. By that point, I already knew that she was a flake in my perspective
I remember a few weeks later, she later admitted to me via text message saying "I'm a flake, I know" and I responded with "I know"
She later apologized again through text message for flaking on me and asked me if her and I can be friends again, and I left her on read. At that point, I didn't want to waste my time anymore and never spoke to her since then
You handled it well. Even if she actually did like you, I don't need a flake in my life.
@@SKBottom Thank you, I appreciate it 👍🏻
She's not interested in or probably even capable of a stable relationship, sounds like she gets off on the process of seeing how often she can reel guys back in. I'd be curious to hear her articulate what her concept of "being friends" is. Thankfully you didn't get financially and legally entangled with her - someone like this will eventually drop a grenade into your relationship, cheat on you, etc. I'll bet a buck Nancy Lanza's (Adam Lanza's mother) profile was similarly flaky.
Yeah you don't need friends like that either.
1) 1:00 Repeatedly says “I’m busy”
2:11-3:34 Betterhelp sponsor ad
2) 3:38 She will go ghost mode
3) 4:48 Cut the date short
4) 7:01 She declines a second date
5) 9:46 Continuously flake or cancel
🙏🏻
im predicting hypergamy at play
Thanks 🙏
thanks - saves me having to listen to this presenter who takes monotony to another level....
👍👍👍
The best dating lesson I learned was when coming back from lunch with a work colleague two women came out the gate - Thinking they were not within hearing, one said "I like him" - meaning me - and the other said "Nah...I like the other guy".
That taught me that some will like you and some will not. Life is like that - some do, some don't. SImple.
They all like me. My name is Phil. Change your name to Phil and as in Chloro-Phil. They can't resist.
She cut her date short because she got dinner from you, and her f-boy just texted her to hook up that night.
hahaha exactly that. And all those simps are taking those girls to fancy dinners. I'm spending nothing at all on this girls.
"I'm busy."
We're all busy. What makes you so special??
😂😂
I mean she's telling the truth as long as it's not always her consistently saying I'm busy... But if you guys are ex's trying to get back together and are friends she might just need space or she's going through things and she doesn't wanna tell you it could be other things leading to not wanting to hangout... Like stress mental issues where she's depressed or just wants alone time
Nice!
I once met this awesome girl online that I talked to for two months. She was a bit flaky but to no fault of her own. Things would come up like she was sick, had an appointment etc. But the second time we met in person she said, "I'm still feeling a bit sick but I didn't want to bail on you again." Sometimes, there is genuine interest but things just get in the way. That said, we lost touch because life got a bit too busy for her and she discovered a bit late she wasn't ready to date, but she was upfront and honest with me about that. No ghosting. Again, awesome girl and I wish her well.
@DanielJS489. She was "too busy" and "not ready to date." Translation: she was too busy pursuing other options and not ready to date you.
But she might reconsider if you hit the lottery.
@@LABoyko Gee way to completely miss my point there bud. Not all women are like that, the same way that not all men are misogynistic pigs who just want to sleep around. You really don't have to read into it in the worst way possible, especially since you know absolutely nothing about this particular woman beyond what I just told you. Judge not lest ye be judged.
@@LABoyko I was being vague so as not to get too personal. "Too busy" are my words, not hers. My point is that not all women are like what you described. And this particular woman wasn't. It's not fair to generalize, especially analyzing some other guy's comment if you've never met him or the girl he's talking about.
u are puting her in a pedestal bro, the truth is probably not that wholesome
Don´t listen to these comments bro. This generation thinks women don´t have a personal life and preferences and would drop their life just because you started looksmaxing. She and you did well and it happens a lot that people are simply not in the right headspace
A well mannered person who is interested says things like "I can't go on Thursday. Is there any chance we could do it Saturday?" Or perhaps "I'm sorry. I can't make it this time. Please ask me again."
My advice for the guys out there: don't worry about "dating" in the traditional sense, especially with apps.... More often than not it's not worth your time. Your time would be best spent reflecting inwards on what YOU want to achieve in your life, and make that your life's mission ... Once you're on your "path" and have defined your goals, everything else will fall into place
Underrated comment
Let's stop taking love, relationships and family for granted. Today i wish i paid more attention to my wife. I have battled depression since my wife left me. I have tried all I can to make her see that I love her with everything I am made of but she has insisted on leaving. This has made me so empty, and I do not know what to do. I can barely function properly at work. I am frustrated and miserable. I really miss her.
Have you considered that she's moved on? Like another guy. I know it's hard to take. They'll monkey branch to another dude before leaving most of the time. If she's done that let her go. Go work on yourself. That "friend" in her dms. "He's gay!" Nope.
Thanks. I couldn't help but laugh, but you made lot of sense.
That's great. How did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do I reach her?
Thanks a lot. I appreciate this.
@@BruceKnapp-n4q1. Any woman that is not a God Fearing woman
1. Will pay God’s Chastisement. Whether it’s in this life or the next
2. Never Idolize anybody but give your life to God and what he wills for you.
Any idol that you have you have whether it be food, alcohol comfort/sleep is dead end. You’ve hit that dead end and now it’s left you distraught. God is will ask you to turn around and follow him in his *Infinite Glory*
Brother! Pray, accept Gods Graces and let him work through you. Not just get over or leave the idol of that woman but to overcome ALL your vices, sins, idols and overall bad habits.
You can do this man. I wish you well🫡
After getting burned so much from dating it’s given me a self worth boost after doing a lot of work on myself. If someone isn’t interested or leading me on I don’t have time to play those games
For me is still hard to known for certain when someone is leading me on.
Also if she's not interested, it's not always about you. The worse part is, when she's interested, it's not always about you either
DAMN
Words of wisdom. Wisdom probably obtained through hardship and pain.
Some people are just incapable of forming real relationships. I used to feel horrible about this woman who completely ghosted me every time we were getting closer. 10 Years later my wife stumbles on her instagram and she's still repeating this pattern with other guys. Sometimes it really is her, not you.
It could be about her husband.
@@grapesodabanked Yeah some women don't change at all.
My first gf I was with I had a passionate hook up with 12y after we ended it and after just that one day I noticed she used the same phrases and same opinions as 12y ago. She hadn't grown in anyways. And it felt like there was nothing new about her. Seemed like she had been going from A hole to a hole according to herself. I'm sure she says the same about me.
Sometimes it can be difficult for me to know if someone is interested because women can behave so differently. One woman's "just being nice" is another woman's flirting. I just try to be myself and see who is drawn to me.
Nah
It's much easier to think they're just being nice. Life is so much easier after doing that.
Does that work though?
@@Fc-cb3tnthe hell that mean
@@JACQUEZ23it means stop overthinking everything. Enjoy life. Stop placing every bitch you see on a pedestal. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn’t, it doesn’t lol. Sure you can chase. But ask yourself something. Is it worth the time to chase someone else and not a better you? For me I chose the latter. It’s much more rewarding.
I’m a 62 yo male that was widowed this past year and am now looking to date again…which is difficult rediscovering the do’s & don’ts after 40 year hiatus. I appreciate Courtney’s topics and the candor in which she covers them. Videos like this one especially have been helpful in navigating when to continue what seems like a connection vs knowing when to move on.
I once had someone who kept telling me she’s busy, and kept rescheduling! So I gave up perusing her, but to my surprise she really was busy, she finally came around and gave me time we dated and were really happy for many years!
One of the first lessons my therapist taught me is getting rejected is a part of life and is not my fault. Once i was able to seperate the rejection from self blame I started doing better socially. Finding out who isnt a compatible match is always a step closer to finding out who is simply by process of elimination.
you needed a therapist to get over rejection? men get rejected 20 times a day!!!
Quite literally if you get rejected it's your fault😂 the whole point of this video was you're supposed to take accountability and that s*** just went in one ear and out the other😂
@@robertstone9988 the video literally says "you're not for everyone" meaning rejection is inevitable and often not your fault. What you said is as irrational as saying a jazz musician is responsible for when listeners don't like jazz. Some people just don't want what you're offering, but that doesn't mean what you're offering is bad. Think a bit...
@@kris3451 if they dont want what you offer its because you didnt offer the right thing. It's your failure own it.
@@robertstone9988 so if a girl was looking for a servant who has his balls tortured, while being financially-dominated... you would provide that? And if not, you consider that your own failure? 🥲
A girl I used to work with asked for my number after I ran into her a while after she quit. She said it would be cool to study together. I followed up by texting her and she responded later. I then told her we should go to the library soon (because that's what we had spoken about, it was her idea) to no reply. I then double texted her a few days later to tell her I was at the library studying, just to remind her in case she still wanted to join me sometime. She then said that she was sorry about not responding earlier and that she was still interested in hanging out and studying. I told her it was cool and that I'd be free on this specific day and that's the last time she texted back.
I never bothered to double text her again because if I mattered to her she would have replied the last time. Texting is weird, I just don't get it because hanging out was her idea and she's the one that asked for my number 🤷♂I was still wanting to hang out but I am not going to be bugging her about it.
I think this is a prime example of you were an option until something/someone better came along, hurts to hear it I know I’ve been there myself but I’ve also seen it happen to so many guys who will get strung so far along and never make it to the end. Sad really that that’s how it has to be
Well to be fair sometimes I’m really tired and all I have energy to focus on is breathing and existing, and I’ve had people misinterpret me being tired as not being interested so 🤷♀️
Probably an attention seeker for not saying worst...
The first time you should’ve known
It's possible she just wanted to hook up and not study at the library. Am I right or wrong?
"No response is a response." If only more men had the capacity to take a hint. The dudes that double, triple, quadruple text without getting a reply need to hear this. Nothing more depressing than seeing a guy write multiple paragraphs for months on end thinking that she'll eventually come around.
Thank you!! I'm glad that I saw this on UA-cam. I had asked a co-worker out, didn't know she was interested in me. Like you said having unspoken interests, when she did finally open up to me it was already too late. I was at a Halloween party and I was leaving the party, saying good bye, I had kissed another woman. I had told my friend who hosted the party and she told my co-worker that was very interested in me. A few days later she had then told me that we could've had something. Eventually, I did ask her out but I feel things are a little arkward at times. When I try to ask her if she needs help, she kinda gives me the cold shoulder or is kinda short with me. She once told me that she is a very independent woman. I respect that , but it's always okay to ask for some every now and then. I just wanted her to understand that you don't have to everything on your own, and it's always okay to ask for help
In your heart you know when one isn't feeling you. Usually they'll just straight out tell you. People interested put in the same amount of effort you put in.
Just started the video, and I already know this one. You can't do anything wrong, and she says yes to everything when she's interested. Any less than that, she's just considering you, and if your that guy, she'll be looking to replace you from the jump.
Brutal
I went on a date with a girl, that by all metrics I felt had gone well. She gave me her number (we had been using a dating app to text prior) and after that she completely ghosted. I agree that no response is a response (something I had a hard time learning in the past) but giving strong signals of interest and then ghosting makes it very difficult to interpret that response.
It's not difficult at all. She is not interested and never was. Don't let women play with your mind. If it is not "yes" then it is a "no."
That sounds like an obvious game playing.
You were used as a “foodie call”. Women go on dates with guys they don’t like, just for free food
No it doesn't. It's all pie in the sky until it's consistent
Just move on. She probably had several offers of dates and gets a kick from going on dates so just put it down to a bad experience.. There are some decent women out there who do not use dating sites and i personally would not use one of those sites.
A while back, I invited a young woman out on a date and she was down. I took the lead and said when and where and she agreed. The day of the date she backed out because she said she wasn't feeling well so she agreed to reschedule (I gave her the benefit of the doubt). The 2nd time we agreed to go out, the day of the date she told me she was at a doctors appointment. After receiving that response I simply deleted her # and never spoke to her again. If a woman is truly interested, she's going to show it and if she's not interested have enough self respect to not beg for her attention and simply move on.
@jimmy: YES!!! Men need to learn to walk away! DO NOT CHASE!!!
If she cancels on you and don't offer another day, the, you shouldn't even try for a second. She cancelled on you, then she has to bring an alternative or you never bring a second date or same thywill happen
What I would do maybe have done, I don't recommend this, but I would have used her for self amusement until she asks you to stop messaging her or ignores you completely or you peak her interest to ask you out. Again I don't necessarily recommend this as this carries risk and must be done correctly.
@@ramo886 yeah, I just don't have time to play these games women play. If she's not interested, I simply won't reach out to her again and move on with my life.
@@jimmymcwatters4182 that's mature way of dealing with it. My way (self amusement) could lead to more trouble. That's why I say I don't recommend it necessarily. It's like turning the tables back on her in a way. But if you have better things to do, that's good.
At 36 I've still Never been on a date and sounds like its not worth the time or possible heart break really.
It's not bud. Stay single.
@@asianstud7 ? He's Definitely not 😄
Hi, I've never been on one and I'm 43, social anxiety and depression tends to make you avoid such situations. I've never actively attempted to get a date on dating sites because women have such high standards they only give attention to 6ft plus good looking men so why bother? I just don't see the use of going to what is essentially a job interview only to he rejected.
Money makes the difference. Courtney knows it and we all know it. Look at the rock on her finger. They wait for the winners. Only your mom loves you, as a man. Women love money. THE END!!!!
Salty. Dude I slayed when I was a broke musician. The energy in your comment is probably the reason you aren't finding love
You got it right!! That's like a 4 carat rock on her finger
@stevetuckey Where you finding girls at live shows?
I as a guitarist attracted girls easily just bc I played guitar, not because they had any real appreciation of me as a person
I dated a great girl last year. She communicated with me daily despite working a 10 hour shift. She always asked me follow up questions and showed interest in my hobbies. We could spend time at a restaurant or just in the car talking. The relationship didn't last because we both lost interest but it did set the standard of what i want from a partner when dating.
Also a red flag seemingly. She liked the attention, but had alterior motives and desires out of a man. Good for you for moving on.
I would ague thats nots what you want, otherwise you wouldn't have lost interest
She climbs out the bathroom window and then files a restraining order against you.
😆
😅😅😅
My personal favorite "My friend got in an accident" an hour before the date.
OMG that happened to me one time. The only difference is that it was her sister that supposedly got into the accident.
A girl last week told me her grandpa fell and then she asked to reschedule and ghosted me
@@mitchaser5159omg that’s crazy
My dog died.
I only test if she is not a narcissist. The best trick I found out, is to ask her if she likes cuddling. If she say no, she is probably a narcissist or an abused victim from a narcissist 🤭🤷♀️🤦♀️
True.... Good luck!
i m following a narcissistic victim...she feigns indifference but i always have her around my workplace in search of attentions...i obviously totally ignore her but u know..these people easy attach themselves to rejection and indifference....
@@fazares yes, narcissists and victims from narcissists behave often similar 👍
I find most women are either narcissists or emotionally attached to narcissists due to all the useless interactions they had with toxic guys before they met you
Just so you've heard, I did have someone who was interested in me that cut the date short. Her stepdad was in a car accident and she left in genuine shock so. Generally a great rule, I think you're spot on (with the caveat when it's obvious she does have to go).
I had a girl who would hastily and angrily move away from me at the gym if I came even remotely close to her. I always kept at least 10 ft distance. I never said or did anything that could be considered romantic interest. I knew from that she does not like me.
Similar thing happened to me where a girl seemed to not like me at all even though I didn't do anything. I was trying to become a personal trainer so I shadowed a female trainer on my campus and after acting completely normal she just seemed to have something against me every time I saw her.
Some people are just like this for no reason. @@nickkoryukin4949
Did you talk to her or are you lurking around her hoping to get her attention? If you're lurking, you probably creeped her out. You don't know anything about her. If she is in a relationship or into girls.
If you have spoken to her and you got the vibe she was not interested, why give her a second thought? She may be a nice person but there could be a million reasons why she is not interested. Do your workout regardless where she is in the gym. If she doesn't want to be anywhere near you, that's her problem.
Bonus tip: When talking to ANYONE you have never met before, talk to them as if you are already friends. Relaxed and casual. Some people may be uncomfortable with that and that's when you extend your hand and introduce yourself. Others will treat you like they already know you too and those are the people you want to get to know.
@@TheNewMexicoMan I talked to her casually while she was training her client. She then said if I have any questions about personal training I DM her but she answered me maybe once and just ghosted me then whenever I saw her at the gym she just tried to avoid me.
To be fair as I guy I do the same thing too haha. I understand everyone is trying to better themselves at the gym but constantly staring, interrupting my sets and unnecessarily walking around me is very frustrating. So she might be avoiding you for one of those reasons or she may just want to be left alone, whatever it may be as long as you focus on your workout, you’ll be fine.
I appreciate a woman who is honest. If she just isn't interested in me, I don't want to waste time, $$, and effort with her getting that 2nd date. Even if you convinced her for another date, she's just marking time until someone more her interest comes along. Don't sign up for that.
If you are talking with her and it seems like you have coerce her to even speak, it's an empty tree for you Dawg. Read the room. Don't be throwing your good heart after bad love.
If she doesn’t play with her hair at least once, then she’s not interested.
Haha I’m sure some girls don’t… I definitely did though 😂
😂 maybe she'll touch her ears or head@@Tondaloona03
@Tondaloona03 then you better not make a joke about her or will Smith will come slap you
Not true, I play with my hair even when I am with female..it is more of a tic
Even more so if it is with the pubic hair ;-)
I just left a message on my boss's whattsapp asking her out for coffee, and just stepped out of my apartment. When I got home, I got a message from her asking "Are you free tomorrow?"
I said "Free as a bird."
Really good tips. Being polite when being turned down is such a good show of character and self confidence. Experience from so many mistakes lol. Or happy accidents rather. Great video
I always say no answer is an answer. Response is of course the same. Attitude is everything, if she's reluctant, stop and go away. Creepiness is pursuing against what she desires. The loss is theirs if they want nothing from me, that's how I see it now.
that's a good point.
I have experienced all of these from multiple women so I can confirm these are all accurate. If somebody is interested in you, YOU WILL KNOW. There will be no doubt.
Not all girls are forward like that, so it depends. Some make it obvious, others tell you 3 years later that "I used to have a crush on you".
If that’s true that nobody has liked me ever
Which is rare
I had a similar situation but kind of flipped on its head. A woman was clearly interested in me over the course of the last year, and I like her alot too; but my current life circumstances aren't great and she deserves someone better. I'm not in any position to drag someone I care about down to my current level, just know that she deserves better.
I love your content! Thank you for posting all of your videos. After being divorced I've experienced all ends of the spectrum, from the "this is how hot chicks feel" to "darn, guess she wasn't interested". I can honestly say it's been a learning experience through and through and your videos have been an influential part in that. Best of luck with everything moving forward!
Thank you for this, it’s nice to have a woman’s advice to help men out with this. Biggest takeaway guys is do not chase, if they are genuinely interested then they will want to try and connect with you otherwise just let them go.
Remember the Brady Bunch epsiode Marsha tells the classmate boy "somethings suddlenly has come up" to get out of going on the date with him. Then there's the eposide with Davy Jones takes Marsha to the prom. Big difference in Marsha's reaction. I know is a old TV show, but it relates to real life dating today.
Lol I always reference that scene, it’s true though women are not designed to be super direct or forthcoming
I would've dated Marsha
People always wrongly call her Marsha. It is Marcia
4:20 I recently had an issue with this and ghosting only because I was being breadcrumbed, her apologizing about not getting back to me (says she was busy etc), and I took it at face value (in horrible at sign reading). Lesson learned
I think most of us go through that. Maybe it's part of a "right of passage." All it did to me, though, was get me to think I was always being lied to.
I had a girl flake on me twice which was just plain rude. She first cancelled on me very last minute coming up with an excuse then when we rescheduled a week in advance and I asked where she would like to meet up she said how she went out of town and asked for another reschedule. At that point I knew she did not want to see me so I asked if she'd be down to facetime instead, she said "of course" and guess what it never happened. I talk to her on social media, which I've heard is a really bad way to determine if the girl is into you.
Imo it's always a bad idea to give a girl access to any of your social media profiles before you've met them and I still think it shouldn't happen until you've reached a 3rd date and you're about to take things to the next level. It feels like it can only harm you. They could find pics they don't like or make snap judgements (such as thinking you're a player if you have recent pics with a girl that happens to be a friend), or they just find out too much about you and lose interest due to lack of mystery, which I've found is important when courting someone. The less you reveal up front, the more intrigued they are and the more excited they will be for a date.
Also, I don't like trying to find women I'm courting on social media because I don't want to start idolizing them. It can be easy to scroll through their pics and you start finding your favorites and painting an idealized picture of them and your potential relationship in your head that isn't healthy and makes it much harder if things don't work out. Also, it can mess with your head if you see posts from others guys on their wall, which could make you jealous or be too assertive thinking you've got competition you've got to overcome immediately...
So yeah just stay away from connecting on social media until you're ready to start being exclusive, imo.
@@brett84c Thing is, I met her in person and asked for her social media after already getting to know her face to face
It's always better to get her number and just resort to texting over connecting on social media, imo. I just think all the reasons I mentioned are why it's just a bad idea during the courting process (before you're "in" and ready to be exclusive). Let mystery work in your favor.
@@brett84c Yeah that's what I learned later on, and I stopped asking for people's social media unless they ask for mine
If a woman does that to you on the first date just move on and never talk to her again. People know what they’re doing they just don’t care.
Hi Courtney, I am on the other side of the age spectrum and have gained a lot of relationship experience over time. You are spot on with your advice and I can attest to experiencing pretty much all of them from women I have had first dates with. It can be pretty brutal and ego denting but you just have to put it down to experience and move on. Trying to avoid making the same mistakes is extremely important
No one is too busy. If she wants to be with you, she will make you time.
Yes! You are correct. The “busyness” excuse is just another excuse. It’s like using the bathroom. Somehow, despite being tremendously busy, she will somehow find time to use the bathroom everyday in the midst of her “busyness.” And by the same token, she can always find time for you, if she really wants to. If she does not, then she’s too busy.
Recently I got ghosted for the first time. Terrible feeling, worse than any excuse or just being honest and saying no.
same
If it's only happened once to you need to teach me game. Everyday occurance down here
Same
"I'm bad at texting"
"I'm not on here much"
"Thank you."
"I'm busy"
Etc etc etc
If she wants to talk to you and wants your attention, you're not her #1 choice. Women spend multiples of more time on phones vs men. Women also play more games than men. Choose those who choose you as nothing is better than GBD
Going balls deep?
"I'm not on here much"
Oh god, I fell for this one because i really liked the person. But i learned since i really liked someone i installed Snapchat, despite never using it, for a girl i was dating because that was her go to app to communicate. That shows i liked her
“I’m bad at texting” I felt that
Im a man that say im bad at texting, I prefer to set a date and talk in person. So I leave the texting for that alone.
So I think I dont apply here. Most girls are on phones all the time, me almost never.
GBD? What does this mean?
I really liked a man, but he was only using me for sex (he was oplympian good at it). He would treat me well during the date but would ghost me in between dates (I would not contact him either). I got out of a 10-year relationship in 2022, so what's going on out there is really confusing for me, I thought people had sex because they liked each other, but I've learnt it's not like that. This was my first and last experience, will never do that again. I am naturally sensitive and loyal. I find most people nasty. I don't even understand why people see multiples person at the same time, it makes no sense to me.
I don’t get it either - seeing several people at the same time, how can you focus if you are seeing more than one person.
They're adapted to it. Once upon a time they were like you and now, they've changed to that. Who knows what drove them there, but we know how they are now.
for sex.
To keep it simple. Ask yourself why you would do certain actions or behaviours? You will have your answer.
This mindset will save you while dating or even save you while being in an abusive relationship. My lesson from a Narcissist.
This info is pure genius. I never would have figured this shit out by myself.
You explain this better than a "dating coach" I used to follow and sub to.
On a happy note, I have a date coming up this week
Have the best time! Let us know how it goes
@@CourtneyRyan certainly will!
@@TonyVega123 he said he had a date this week, not in 4 hours. Come back later
I'll bet she canceled an hour before the date, and ghosted him since. Bt I'm an optimist, LOL
How did it go?
This is my story
I gave her a hoodie and she seemed excited about getting it. Then one time I went to a pancake charity thing for kids and I bought her a t shirt from that event and gave it to her about 3 months after the hoodie. More to this later
She takes like 2 days to respond to my texts where I respond in like less than 10 minutes. She even disappears to another time zone in the country and doesn't tell me she'll be gone for a bit. I had a ticket for both of us to a sporting event going on. I just gave it to a friend. She doesn't seem to be as affectionate as I am. I spoil her so much that I over did it. For her birthday I bought her a duffle bag and stuffed it with random stuff like toiletries, a new hoodie (Her favorite team) and all sorts of things that I know she'll love. If you count and add with Christmas it went over to $600 of random stuff. For both birthdays and 2 Xmas'
Then like 8-10 months later she gave my Christmas present to me and when I opened it it was the same hoodie and shirt from that pancake thing I was at but I didn't recognize it at the time since my mind was thinking of other stuff. And she wouldn't spend Valentines day with me. The next day I fell apart and lost it, she knows how I feel about her but doesn't want the same. She also seems to be having more fun in life without me.
What advice I can give to everyone: don't impulsive spend on someone, it feels like a bad investment now. And please be straight forward with a the other person. She is not straight forward in words with me and only with how she is.
Yea I pretty much had the same situation and spent the same amount. But when I said Imma be a man and let her know I don't wanna just be friends I want to date her. She told me to first invest in her business and then we could possibly be together but right now it's just business on her mind. I'm probably more mad because I spent mad bread on someone I never even kissed..smh I basically donated money for a conversation
This is information I wish I knew when I was in high school and college. Now, I'm starting to feel more content with being single.
Great insights that I can verify as an old guy. In my long life, no woman who was ever interested in me, was ever "too busy." In fact, many would border on too intrusive, wanting to contact me/see me constantly. The flaking is also a bad sign, as is the ghosting. I've noticed that when I was young, in the pre-electronics days, women typically didn't do this stuff. I think they were more skilled in interacting with men, more diplomatic. Listen to Courtney, guys, I know it's tough to face rejection but best to move on. Once you find a girl interested in you, you'll forget the ones who weren't.
Due to social media, the new move I experience is for a woman to just come over for the first date. I cook, we drink wine, and we see how it goes. This is a high value woman. In this case, i think of a woman I met at a gas pump who flies long haul from NYC to Amsterdam. "Let's just omit the courting thing, and get right with it," she said...and so the new restaurant is my place. The new theatre is my place. The new bar is my place. And this is very new, but the formal date is something new I am experiencing. It was this way in college here in Knoxville and its this way now. So when she shows up, and they always do, she's interested. But cutting straight to it and omitting the courting IS new. And its only among the upper class.
If she ain’t interested in you she will putt little to no effort towards you. If it’s online through text she will take forever to reply back or ignore ur messages
Amen!
What about if they play hot and cold? Like sometimes they'll text u a lot and put a lot of effort and emojis and sometimes they just don't text back at all lol
@@Woeisme2 she’s playing games with you.. it’s a red flag.. Guys as we get older we want serious not cat and mouse games.. I know cause a friend of mine told me that and I’ve experienced it beforehand.. never again
@Aesthetic626 it's so weird though I feel like the more interest you put toward someone the more you push them away and if u become more avoidant and less interested they seem to like you more. It's like you can be interested but not too interested. These games are wack, I'll probably just stay single lol
@@Woeisme2 only one way to find out.. Gotta Ask her out
I have noticed one thing. Every time on a date if they offer to split the bill then i never see them again. I think they feel bad you paying for it all when they know they are not interested.
Happened to me one time. Eventually the person said they weren't ready to date anyone. Then they would invite me out just to ghost me. Found out they were in a long distance relationship with their old boyfriend.
You deserve better, brother 🫡
That just shows she’s pure trash; gutless too.
Don’t worry she’s his side piece. She cries herself to sleep because he won’t commit to her & it ends likes this…👵🏻🍷🐈🐈⬛
One thing I learned a loooong time ago (in my early 20s) is that if a girl was interested, she'd go out of her way to cancel HER plans to spend time with you.
If she is not interested in you she will:
- Not tell you she is not interested.
- See/date others guys.
- Talk to others how annoying you are.
- Crave your attention.
- Tell others you don't get her signals that she don't want you even if she never said anything like that.
- Be afraid to hurt your feelings by telling you the truth that she don't want you.
- When you try to ignore her, she will try to talk to you and keep up the charade.
Tell* others. Keep* up
It's rude and disgusting that she tells others people about the private conservation we had. I try to respect women and men, but there are things that are so off limits and not okay and there is no letting it slide.
@@Colton-wz5sh thnx 🙂
So much for the old "he chases her til she catches him" tradition.
I used to hear this a lot in the old days that you weren't supposed to give up, that women expected you to keep trying and you weren't supposed to take no for an answer, that this was some sort of turn-on for them because it showed you you had confidence and guts.
On the other hand my own experience was always that it just got them angry with me so maybe it was a myth. And with "me-too/call-the-cops" feminism running rampant own, just never mind...
I think it has to be hard for people to suss out the difference between being very friendly and being interested romantically. As a woman, I find myself not wanting to NOT be my bubbly self but also not wanting to lead anyone on. Last year I had dinner alone at my favorite restaurant and just sat up at the bar area. Two men who were friends sat next to me and we had a fun conversation for the next hour. One of the men kept dropping suggestions that he could take me to do certain things together, not picking up on how I wasn’t confirming a plan or telling him I was actually interested. I felt awkward because he was with a friend so shooting him down point blank while we would have to sit there finishing our dinner would be a major vibe kill for everyone. I initially agreed to give both men my number because of working in tech and offering to help them with jobs. Basic networking. They BOTH texted me that evening and both asked me out. Then when I said no to both, the both kept texting every once in a while, even when I stopped responding.
Truly, when people aren’t picking up what you’re putting down you have to leave it be. It makes people so uncomfortable and makes you look desperate and kinda crazy.
My perspective is different. Even when a woman is being nice, I just take it as such. Maybe she could be flirting, but I could never tell. It doesn't help that I am on the spectrum. I am not good when it comes to non-verbal communication. I am not a mind reader. In fact, no one is.
Or you could have just told them outright. And not give them your number. This ones on YOU
Needed to hear this. It hurts cuz I recently went on a date with a girl I went to HS with and there was a good vibe the whole time with us both laughing, smiling, and reminiscing. By the end of it SHE even said we should go out again. We even kinda made a plan on what we would do on a second date cuz we bonded over talking about a place we both used to go to when we were younger that we havent been to in forever, and talked about going there some time. Seemed like a connection was forming and I was prepared to give my all towards a relationship with this girl, but then suddenly she is hardly ever responding to me, and keeps blowing off my attempts to make a plan cuz shes "too busy" without making any effort to schedule a time that does work for her. I just dont get why dating women is so often like this. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about how much I want to hear from her and see her again, but this video inspired me to move on. Deleted her on IG, Hinge, and her number. If she is ever ready to give some effort back, she knows where to find me.
Olej ją ciepłym moczem. Nie goń jej. Jak ją spotkasz na ulicy to udawaj że jej nie znasz. Totalnie ją ignoruj. Nie myśl o niej. Nie odpowiadaj jej nawet "cześć".
Women often play games of the mind and heart. However, their true thoughts and intentions always surface at the end of the game either via their words or conduct. She led you on knowing she had no interest. She fed off your enthusiasm and attention. It made her feel good or important, but the charade could only go so far and for so long.
Narcissism sadly. Move on good sir.
Went to what? HS ? Hospital?
@@luker1hutcher315 High School
Courtney-from all the guys thanks for the “big sis-lil bro” advice.
We mostly know this anyways but it’s helpful to hear it in a calm voice. We need it from time to time.
Thanks 👍🏼
The last point was extremely helpful. The last girl I went on a date with constantly kept rescheduling dates and it got to a point where I realized that it’s shouldn’t take us over a month to see each other. We literally lived 20 mins from each other. I seen my friends who live 3 hours from me more than I have seen her. It’s just a silly excuse. Thank you though!
Got ghosted after date #2 since she hit 3 of your points. I was gonna text her “if you’re not interested, just let me know honestly.”
But was told that the best answer is no answer.
If a women ghost you no contact treat her like a ghost and never speak to her again don't even bother with that text if your not interested you know she's not if she was she wouldn't have ghosted you
yeah good play man, best to just leave it.
I was struggling with a girl for little bit as she didnt initiate texts or conversations or even checked up on me but was always keen to catch up and always texted me back, had 2 dates with her, but the whole time it felt like i was doing all the pursuing and I just found it really hard to keep it going with this girl, then recently she stopped writing back to my texts , so I knew it was time to just leave it,
"no response is a reponse"
@@mattmartini836yea happened to me that's how I found Courtney videos
Happy Sunday Courtney! Video suggestion about women wanting space in a relationship? Just a thought. Thanks!
wanting space means they want other options.
If she's interested you'll know it. If you have to guess, move on. Period.
*It’s refreshing to see advice that encourages self-awareness and emotional intelligence in dating. This kind of guidance is essential for fostering healthier relationships!*