How To Pursue Without Chasing, Why Girls Lose Interest & Making The First Move
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- Опубліковано 27 тра 2024
- In this video, Hallee and I answer your questions and provide a woman's perspective on some different situations. I hope you all enjoy and find this helpful!
HALLEE'S UA-cam CHANNEL:
/ halleesmith
CONTACT/ FOLLOW ME:
Instagram: @courtneycristineryan
EMAIL/COLLAB: courtneycristineryan@gmail.com - Навчання та стиль
I recently met a girl on Bumble who I thought was super interested. First date went really well. After the date, I asked her to text me when she got home. She must be homeless…
Let the option of *not* texting you be open & okay. Gotta be righteous about yourself.
You went wrong when you met her on a dating site. Please tell me you didn't buy her food? Just meet women in real life. If you have anxiety or lack confidence, get on no PMO, and hit the gym. Push hard working on yourself and a relationship will just happen.
Also you asked her to text you when she got home. Who cares? She clearly saw you cared more about her so she flaked. You literally have to be cold these days to get any women. Asking a girl to text you when she gets home safely is reserved for a GF.
She used you for a free meal. I’ve heard this before, women use men on dating apps for nice dinners. It’s purposefully misleading and takes advantage of men trying to meet the right person.
@@ambrizje90 God, its horrible. You know the i have noticed, it's always about what she likes and don't likes, how she feel?. It's rarely about what guys feel like or what we don't like. We should be just happy that we can take a girl for a dinner on our own dime, entertain her(or she goes ThErE wAsNt AnY sPaRk).
And funny thing is she can just hop on to next guy cause there too many simps(including muscular guys) who is ready to be "gentleman". And just make her feel good.
When my wife and I met, 32 years ago, we didn't play any of these mind games of: Don't call too soon, make him believe you're too busy so he'll desire you more, etc. We were just infatuated with each other and wanted to be with each other as much as possible. We've been together ever since. We just followed our hearts and let it decide what was right. I really feel sorry for the men of today, too much B.S now.
if women really likes you there wont b any mind games and being with her wont feel difficult
@@BK-ip7ie ~ True!
Man it’s truly hard out here now in the dating scene
@@mightybasedzao3057 that’s why I chose not date the dating scene is lame today it always ends so fast
@@BK-ip7ie
Facts. If any part of the initial process feels like pulling teeth = they aren't that into you, period.
I’ve learned a long time ago that if it feels like you have to chase/try really hard, it’s not worth the time. Better to move on and explore other options
Love this
100% on this. Took me a while to accept, but if I don't have to chase or try really hard with my regular friends, why should I have to chase or try really hard for someone who'll be my prospective best friend? Obviously with any relationship you need to try, but chasing or trying REALLY hard is different from regular effort or natural communication.
@@CourtneyRyan 🙏
@@ChanoWilliams I agree with that 100%. For me it’s generally about investing my time and effort with people I know genuinely care/reciprocate. Why try to move mountains for people who obviously aren’t invested in you
If you’re giving off a needy vibe(chasing someone..), maybe realize that someone running doesn’t want to be caught by you.. 🧐🤷♂️
UNLESS it’s a pre established game of tag or something of course. 😜
I feel very sorry for young men and women today. In 1987, when I saw my wife for the first time, I didn’t ask anyone for advice. I just responded in real time, making myself the best option for her by how I behaved, expressing what I felt about her, and where I wanted to take her in life. I’m just an just average guy of average looks and my wife was and is a high quality woman and continues to be.
makes me wonder what you do here
@@triplekillerable Curiosity about what the dating-world is like. BTW I did this online, the ONLY time this was ever worth my time. I did exactly what he mentions: I didn't time her responses to gauge her interest, didn't play the "don't respond too soon" thing (I DID respond in my own time when I could, but that was situational). Didn't play games with photos (only had one anyway). We are chatting and it was going well enough, I told her how I felt. Yeah according the PUA community this is suicide. I even told her, "I'm not supposed to tell you this as you will lose interest." Which, naturally made her interested. Told her how I felt, and CONTRARY to nearly every self-proclaimed expert (NOT MS. Ryan BTW) she was a: amazed I was so honest and b: impressed I could express that. We are going strong...
I’m actually about to cry😂
Naaa sounds like you are a natural pick up artists, trust me if she is a high quality woman she wouldnt go out with you unless you were good at pick up. If she just went with an average guy and she was super hot an average guy would have asked her out long before you and she would have said yes, you are selling your skill set short here.
And then u raised a family of millennials and Gen Z'rs like the rest of us, watching this video.
Ur generation is partially to blame for the state of ours.
U used the tv as a babysitter and allowed the system to fuck up our minds; making us inept.
Special thanks to social media for ruining the modern dating today. The unrealistic standards, mind games, manipulations are just unbearable. As an old school guy, this is a torment.
amen to that Sir
100% correct
Yeah, I'm 26 year old guy and it's terrible for everyone, even the women.
I completely agree! Also, dating apps... Worst thing that ever happened for successful life long relationships.
💯💯💯
"With dating apps you have so many options". That's your experience as a woman. I quit using these apps after I got 2 matches in 4 months (one ended with 2 dates and the other match never replied).
Social media and dating apps are the worst things to happen to society. It's causing way more harm than any good.
Man social media has really messed everything up with connecting lol
because women are in relationships with their phones, they can't connect with real people any more
Agreed.
I would say that masculinity really boils down to being focused, assertive, and overall stoic whenever life throws chaos your way. It's being able to handle your everyday responsibilities while also being emotionally mature enough to handle life's obstacles, and as it pertains to a relationship with a feminine woman it means being the leader and allowing her to be free in her femininity because it will lead to a much more happy and healthy relationship between the two.
I failed this last week. I suck at the emotional side.
@@jimjam4210 If you haven't, read Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. It's all about stoicism and how to handle life's obstacles without being emotionally charged.
@@ajtaylor8750 I'll add it to my list. I have been working on this issue for almost 10 years. It's debilitating and is the source of a lot of my depression and anger. It's been tought the last week. Like really tough. Like, on the verge of giving up tough.
@@jimjam4210 I hear you man. I had arguably the worst day of my life not too long ago, and while it was tough to get through my mental fortitude helped me persevere. Hopefully you can build yourself up to get through your tough times.
@@ajtaylor8750 I had, I've been broken down over the course of my relationship. So I need to back up and re establish my footing, and have the patience to build myself up again. Thanks for talking. I appreciate you.
come on girls! when a women makes the first move it is a huge turn on and confidence boost for us to do more moves
Absolutely it is! It should happen more often. It’s not masculine for a woman to approach a man. It’s beyond flattering for us guys to be approached.
People should just simply GET OFF those dumb dating apps, and just meet in person better.
This
agree 💯 it also lessens the chance of cheating....
It's just so bad. I wish "dating" apps were never a thing. I prefer meeting people in real life but nowadays most ppl have their faces glued to their phone.
Sad
Amen
There is a legit problem with them, even if you don’t use them personally. Girls you would normally have had no problem with, will shut you down because some 10 in Italy (whether real or not doesn’t matter) randomly swiped right on her.
That first comment - imagine FORGETTING who asked you out a few days prior so you have to look them up on Instagram!?! Smh.
Fellas, the only winning move is not to play.
Agreed. If there's not enough initial attraction (or she's swimming in so much attention) that she forgets you in 3 days, it's not even worth following through on the date.
Lol we all caught that huh😂
I think women are going to have to make the first move a lot more going forward if they want to find successful relationships. The current climate is that any sort of advance from men is unwanted or harassment, so the good guys aren't taking the risk, while the bad guys ignore the rules anyway.
Yes I agree but sadly I think we know this will never happen. As a good guy, it’s been a long time since I’ve made the first move cause of it. But I’ll still wait for the right one to find me cause I’m done “shooting my shot”. Women are too much for me nowadays, I honestly feel happier single than dating a girl cause all it is is mind games with today’s society
Start approaching, get a good 1on1 coach, and stop bitching about how hard it is and staying passive, thats and will always be the (high quality) womens job
I’m a bad guy and you lames are losing the race 😉 lol jk
Toxic Feminism and this totally insane woke cultural climate we live in today, along with hook-up culture, has ruined dating for everyone. If i were young and single again, You could'nt pay me enough money to date these crazy insane women out there today. No way.
@@scotabot7826 I know I’m 20 and it sucks im done trying already. It ain’t worth it for me anymore.
3:10 I’ve been thinking the same thing recently too Courtney. It definitely isn’t natural for us to be exposed to so many people. Just think how people lived centuries ago or even before social media. Your only realistic options were who you actually saw outside in person around you. People, especially women have an abundance mindset on steroids in this digital era.
Women have never had it so good, women always had all the power but like you said maybe they had power over 1-5 thosand guys in her life time, maybe up to 20 000, but now women have axcess to millions of guys, women are getting hundreds of offers a week, which is like 77 000 a year, which is 1.3 million from the age of 16-35 lol, women are lucky bastards, i genuinly cant believe women can complain about anything given how lucky they are.
"Feels like options but aren't really options"
She just single handedly described how female hypergamy being fueled by social media and dating sites can become a narcissism machine for a lady and severely limit her odds for anything more than a "situationship" in a sea of Chads and posers.
Ultimately these two ladies are right in what they are eluding to: it's not natural to have so much exposure to flopportunities.
For the ladies watching: if you found each other on social media and he got YOU, he can get HER on social media while he's with you just as easily. And of course turnabout is fair play: a man paying his due diligence to his situation almost subconsciously expects a woman he met on social media to be putting herself out for other men while she's courting him.
If he's capable and steeled himself against the early stage onset of "one-itis" for that girl...he will continue to find and hook up with new, sexy InstaBabes. Potentially wrecking some really great opportunities.
Another thing to help with first date nerves, listen to some of your favorite music on the way to the date or before you leave--whatever song puts you in a good mood. And like Hallee said, remember that you should worry more if you like them than if they like you. This was a great discussion and I really liked your explanations of masculine and feminine energies!
Frankly thats crazy , as if a man is going tot be more worried about if he likes her than she likes him, think about it, the woman is getting several hundred offers a week minimum which is 77000 a year which is 1.3 million from the age of 16-35, set that against a guy who will get zero offers EVER and you have a power imbalance of nearly 1.5 million% in favour of the woman, so of course you are going to be nervous when the odds are stacked that much against you lol.
If a girl is actually interested in you, she will jump through hoops to be near you. If you have to text her multiple times per week before you get a response, that means she ain’t interested, and you should just move on. After you go radio silent on her, she may well come crawling back to you. The reason is because by you ignoring her, you subliminally signaled to her that you are alpha and that you don’t need her because you have options, which makes her start to chase after you. She is not actually interested in you as a person. She just wants to bend you. Women are weird this way. If what you are looking for is a serious adult relationship, do not give in to these games they play. Stay strong and ignore her.
Hallee is an absolute heart breaker when she flashes that pretty smile. Another great video, Courtney.
There was a girl, I asked ten days prior to meet up and go out at a particular time and place. She agreed and three times affirmed it. The day of, two and a half hours before we would meet up, I asked if it was a go for both of us, and she said yes. Once it was the very moment to meet up and go out, and I asked her if she was ready, she said, she was going to go with another guy.
That was the first and most disrespectful impression I had in setting up a date. She never gave an explanation and did not even contact me after her disgusting action.
It happened to me twice. Funny thing is no one gonna call out on this shitty behavior. The thing is for girls life is box of chocolates, there always be someone asking her out.
And i don't think it's girls fault. It's just they always have choices.
If a guy would have did this, guy would be labeled as a jerk.
Just ignore her and move on.
alanguages... not knowing you or the girl... I would suggest not overly asking the girl if she is ready. Confirming once is good and if you feel you need to say something on the day of... just say on my way to your place, see you soon.
I know the feeling. You’re not even mad that they aren’t going out with you, but you’re pissed off when someone is that disrespectful. It’s like they just humiliated you. I had a few do similar things. The latest one I left as a friend on FB just so they could see my growth.
I think you were too kind to her! You tell her the date and place and if she agrees then go meet her! There is no reason to remind her multiple times about the date IMO! You go there in time and if she hasnt arrived yet then wait a few minutes and then just delete/block her everywhere and leave the place! If she likes you and if she finds you attractive then she will be there! The majorty of them are trash anyways! Dont let them play with you dude!
We all go through this, first mistake never remind her of the date. Just show up, if she doesn't not come , have plan B already. Number #2 most females have better options that why they will flake on guys. Also by reminding her about the date make you seem needy and desperate.
I think the cornerstone of compatibility is “how you deal with conflict”. This will encompass three main elements: temperament (opinions and passions), consistency (how much you live the qualities you preach), and lifestyle (interests and personal organization).
I met my wife in 2007, married in 2008, and we had our son in 2009. Our daughter in 2011. Met her at a Barnes and Noble she was a barista! Going on 16 years together, 15 years married, and our boy will be 14 in April. Our girl will be 12 in July.
Interesting. What your take on your son dating older woman or daughter dating older younger man?
So very jelly.
Congratulations Gary, may you, your wife and kids continue to experience happiness and safety. :)
Courtney stated to “ask her what she wants to do” - gentleman do not do that- first test failed to see if you are weak
She’s one of the few sane modern women, so I believe her that that would be fine with her or other good women. But even most good women would be somewhat turned off by that, so I agree with your general premise lol
Yeah you’re generally going to be much better off leading than asking her.
One good thing that made it less bad though was that she at least said to give the girl the two options and ask her to pick from them.
That’s the best way to ask a girl what she would like to do. Give her two or more options and ask her to choose from them.
That’s FAR better than asking her if she wants to do option A but not giving her any other options to choose from.
As a guy, I lose 100% interest in a girl if she's dating more than one person at a time. I'm not talking being in multiple relationships, I'm talking simply dating. I'm not going to be dating multiple people at the same time because that's seriously disrespectful!
Finally women talking that there is such thing as toxic femininity. Still being very cautious and scared about it but please don't avoid the topic. When men bring it up we're automatically labelled misagonistic, so mature women calling out each others BS is the only way to balance things out.
Not everyone is going like you and you're not going to like everyone when you go on a date with. I went on a date with a woman and she acted all innocent and sweet at school when we went out she was the complete opposite. She dressed like she was going to a club and showed way too much skin. She cussed a lot, drank, and did drugs. I thought she was the sweet girl at school but I was wrong. After the date, I told her she wasn't the right woman for me.
She got mad. "Are you serious? This has never happened to me before."
I smiled at her. "There's a first for everything. I hope you find the right person."
No offense to you, but what do you mean "I hope you find the right person" lol.
From the streets did she emerge, to the streets she shall return.
She has no right person, because she belongs to the streets.
I think you should’ve just ended it with her at “There’s a first for everything.” Lol would’ve been more savage
Non-simps like you are doing God’s work lmfao I would be too nice (i.e., weak) and just make some excuse or blame it on myself
Yeah. Don't wish good upon her crazy ass. She won't to you!
0:13 should i wait to text her?
1:18 when dating, why do people lose interest?
4:32 how do you maintain interest after first few dates?
7:03 should i dye my beard?
7:39 define femininity & masculinity
11:07 how to deal with nerves during 1st date
12:43 what age do women want responsible men vs the bad boy type?
14:48 Alcohol or coffee?
15:58 how do you pursue a girl without chasing her?
17:56 who should make the first move?
Comment below what question you would like Courtney to answer
You can be a bad boy but still responsible
About the second last question. The girls in the video are good girls, I can tell, but women do NOT reject men that they don't like. They like to lead men on for attention. They will give men enough attention so that men think that she likes them. That's the disgusting part about this.
I wish it were actually as clear as these women in the video said, but that's not reality.
who should make the first move? no doubt it will forever be on the guy, man
Do women really love sex as much as men do?
What they really want from men?
Sex is only a need for men?
What is sex means to a women?
What kind of sex they love?
Is female sexuality a complicated thing?
Thank you for this!
LMAO “I have my life together type vibe” I love that. Good way to summarize all a man needs to focus on early on.
Many times women are attracted to the resources older men provide. Many women are not angels.
I dont want to chase anymore just have to focus on myself now
Best for men to abandon dating apps and change the dating landscape.
This ^
Courtney- Though I have no interest in finding love through an app (some people do), I do find you offer solid advice on your channel and thus feel it's stuff that can be shared with others needing relationship insight. Good seeing Hallee again. The chart was spot on.
7:40 this is something that I am always conscious about. I'm not void of emotions and am very conscious about them. I will express what I am feeling when appropriate, and will tear up when sad. I enjoy wholesome things and refuse to be emotionless. I avoid anger at all costs, but will communicate when frustrated or upset, and will do so in a non accusatory way.
However, I worry that it comes off as feminine. I understand that having emotions is human and healthy, but it seems like culturally it is odd to see a guy who acknowledges emotions and tries to understand them instead of ignoring them.
Thank you! Hey, so I have been single for months, and at the point of the split, I had decided to really focus on reading, meditation, my health, next steps to improve my life and the like. I had zero interest in dating coming out of that 7-year relationship.
I found your channel about two weeks ago. As I thumb through your videos, I feel such a rejuvenated joy towards women and myself again. I've always related to people who prioritize kindness and are inclined to constructive conversation. So many men seem to be out of touch when it comes to presenting themselves and understanding women's needs and preferences. Your work has helped me to reorient my goals and to rethink what type of man I am and want to be.
I thank you a thousand times. What you do is fun, real and powerful.
Totally agree. Walking away gives so much freedom, to me is all about the truth, you tell the truth( and you accept the truth , whatever the outcome) I guess true love has a bit of that in it
It's becoming increasingly difficult for men to make the first move these days. What with toxic feminism & the whole 'assault' culture running rife. A lot of men are terrified to approach women over fear of embellished accusations that may ensue.
I'm all for women's rights, but if women want to 'be in charge' then ladies - YOU need to make the move!
Men who understand attraction and value themselves will always make the first move. Women like the man to be the leader. Lead means go first. And it’s the man’s and even the woman’s job to do a good job at pre-qualifying your dating prospects. Most will be toxic, broken, rude, and difficult.
That shouldn’t diminish you as a man or make you perturbed. Out of 10 women, 1-2 will like you. Out of 100, 10 - 12 will go out with you. That’s just the average numbers for men. And that’s just the way it is. Stay busy on your purpose and you’ll eventually meet someone who will value you and your time. Best mindset to come from.
If you fear you're not capable of approaching women without being accused of assault, then stop approaching women. It's best choice for everyone.
@@Frank.Melendrez 100% - you can whine all you like that women don't take responsibility to approach even though they are "Strong and independent" but guess what - you only sound like a p*ssy for doing so. Men lead, women follow. You want a relationship where it's the other way around, all I can say is good luck Brother. Me, I like to be the one in control.
@@eveliinahannele I mean that existentially, thanks to feminism running wild, a lot of men won't even ask a woman they like if they're single for fear of it coming off as 'inappropriate'.
@@rmxlabs I don't see any problem with that, it's pretty great actually. If you don't know how to interact with people without being inappropriate, then it's better that you don't
Choosing that person over and over again. That's a really strong message that goes overlooked.
If you make a date with a girl and she forgets who you are or forgets your date because you didn't message her in between, she not into you. people show up to the dentist when they make those appointments, think about it lol
Right? People show up to parties with no one reminding them, too. If she's interested, she's going to put it on her calendar at the very least.
Focus on yourself, hit the gym and get your priorities in line. Everything else in regards to dating will come.
Been on that since I was 17, now I'm 22 with an engineering degree, a muscular body and my own place own car, and yet I'm still struggling? What more do I need?
@@lucascamarasa2081read Corey Wayne 3% man please
@@lucascamarasa2081 honestly man, I think you’re not alone in that. I’m not having much success these days. There’s too much political/cultural baggage behind every meaningful conversation. People just can’t be themselves.
@@lucascamarasa2081 I think you need to keep on your purpose. I'm getting a lot of "desperate" energy off that, and if I guy like me could sense that, what do you think the average woman could sense?
Look, I'm not making fun of you, I'm just being real with you. With you thinking that you have all that, a woman is just going to fall on your lap? You have to have no expectations and get out there. Best of luck to you, King.
The only thing I chase is an ice cream truck.. chasing is a young man's game. Happy easter to you both.
😂🙌🏼 happy Easter!
You shouldn't chase a woman who doesn't want to be caught.
@@DallasSniper it's why I focus on ice cream trucks
Even when he's parked.
@@guntertorfs6486 I can also do it video game style..
The topic around "realistic options" is 100% spot on. We're digitally connected with ridiculous amount of people, and most people operate like those are options even though they will never see most of them IRL.
These ladies said it themselves, girls have plenty of options. For guys the odds are against you because there might be up to hundred guys after that same girl.
Depend on the guy I guess.
@@jimlittle5769 The guy on the top 20% tier.
Oh well… if theyre not in the upper percentile themselves they’ll end up alone too 😃🤷♂️
@@lockyp204 This was not happening before social media.
@@mitsosakm Yep I’m 51, I can remember
I have a trick to get over being nervous on a first date. Just before going to meet her, I'll watch 15-20 minutes of clips from Impractical Jokers. That puts me in a good mood, I'm laughing, I want to have fun, and it helps boost my confidence. It doesn't get rid of the fear completely, but it definitely helps.
I love those guys.
Hallee's back. YAY! 😀 She's dressed more causal today, jeans and T-shirt, loving it. I'm a jeans and T-shirt woman. Love when you have a guest, Courtney, giving another perspective.
Thanks Courtney! ❤️
@@CourtneyRyan You're welcome.
@@Courtney-Alice-Gargani dressed casual but dolled up her face lol I'd have answered the door asking her how's her sister Hallee 😂
Double Courtney.
@Courtney Ryan
When you said thanks Courtney and put a heart I thought “wow this girl is conceded, who the hell would wanna date you”. Then I got it
The dating app video was so true yesterday.Can’t see Halleee swiping right on many guys tbh.
That's true of the majority of women. Women will only swipe right and date the top 5% of guys.
Women's standards are out of this world now unfortunately
Great video as always. Love that you're such a positive person and so authentic! Dating sites are a wasteland -women have far too many options and tend to overlook solid nice guys for frivolous reasons, or just abusing the system to get free meals or attention. These are tough issues to solve, but you are making a difference, and I always look forward to your content.
Best thing I ever did was talking to multiple girls at once. Always staying in the abundance mindset. That does wonders for building your game up and dealing with flakes. The drawback is now I'm being accused of acting toxic lol 🤦🏻🤷🏻♂️
That’s because that’s what women like and they get mad when they realize that’s the guy they were attracted to in the first place and blame him somehow😂
I never did but it is the normal masculin way, insted as of today when women date multible men and men only one at a time.
I feel like women lose interest easily is also because they get bored quicker than men do. I’m not one of those people that has a desire to do something new every day and that turns off quite a few women I’ll match with on dating apps
Now ugly women date hot guys. Women standards for look is increasing ...
.. women look for ways to disqualify men..men, look for ways to qualify women..and yes, 10000%, women get bored easily…
They have waaay many more options.
You can thank dating apps for that
Hey Courtney, I’ve watched a few of your videos and I just wanted to say that I appreciate your common sense approach to the Men/Women/dating issues and you’re a good counterpoint to the sometimes harsh male point of view on the videos you react to. Good stuff!
"Aw good for you. Can't relate."
That moment explains why this duo works so well😂
Paused the video to read some comments and wondered why I hadn't heard this line. Pressed play and it was the next thing they said. 😂
@@WYIT0 😂
Great video ladies! Yes, it can be difficult for a man to find the right women when women have multiple options using social media and dating apps. Don't give up, keep searching! I love your videos Courtney 😎
I really liked the third question: You date, the first couple of dates are over, and you are comfortable around each other. There is some chemistry involved, but nothing has happened yet. However, you are happy to see each other, and you fall into a form of routine seeing the other person, but you feel like you're in a kind of no man's land between dating somebody and a relationship. (I don't have an answer, either.)
I’m stuck there too. Met her, went on some dates, had numerous encounters with her, and I’m kinda like what now. Does she like me? Is the interest still there or was in genuine to begin with? How do I pursue without chasing her off? Have a chased her off already without realizing it? Do I ask for another date? Are the signs she’s giving me now a hint at her level of interest or is she just being friendly? Holy damn the list goes on and on. People probably think I’ve complicated things but I really haven’t. When you meet someone and go along with dating, these things naturally come up and you get to know and observe the person you’re trying to date. You can’t just ask any question(s) you want regarding the ones above without risk of scaring her off or making her uncomfortable. I think dating either flows naturally for some but for others it naturally complicates itself. And yes, we humans can complicate it easily too. But in my situation neither of us have complicated it to a point it’s not repairable. Here’s an example or two. We met last November and went on 2 initial dates spaced out over a few weeks. I didn’t get a chance for a third date due to school and other factors. So by the time I got around to asking for a third date, she got sick in February and was out for a couple of weeks. After she came back, I asked her on the third date. Early March but she declined due to a knee injury. She didn’t say she didn’t want to but that her knee needed to heal first. I thought she was making it up and just left it alone. Then she was gone for over 6 weeks. I found out it was her knee she was taking a break from to heal. I saw her again last week after that 6 weeks and she waved and came over to speak to me. In that time we didn’t talk. I gave her space and let her do what she needed. She’s not a big texter anyway. She will respond to me very quickly but there isn’t much to her texts. So I prefer to talk to her in person. Point is I’m currently stuck in my infatuation for her and don’t know how to proceed. Another example is her twin sister. Night and day difference with personality. I met her back in November and I was introduced to her and she literally walked up to me, shook my hand, told me her name and expressed how she loved my height (6’3) and had this big smile on her face. Her sister just stood there with an OK look on her face. The twin was more upfront and expressive which made it easy for me to know how to respond. She straight up asked me if I was going to ask her sister out again and I honestly said yes. And I did. But the point is the one I’m interested in is not so upfront. She hides certain things and only confides when she knows she can trust. Her sister had no problem telling me right there within the first 20 seconds of meeting her that she liked me. It’s been almost 6 months since my first date and I’m still questioning if this girl likes me or is just being friendly. It’s her reserved nature and I’m the same way but there’s a time to be reserved and a time to step up. I’m stepping up but it’s more work it feels. Maybe she is the type that takes awhile for her to get there. I haven’t given up just yet.
@@matthalo89 Wow, I didn't have six months in mind when I wrote my comment. But after this time I would simply ask her what she is hoping to get out of the dates, especially if she is not communicating much between them.
@@matthalo89 You're wasting your time. It sounds like she's not interested and is stringing you along. Move on.
@@wakeup6201 you’re about a year late there, dude.
Love this duo. Love the topics covered in this video. Looking forward to more content with you two.
Also looking forward to more fashion related videos for men - perhaps more colour related topics and other fashion related tips and content
This is one of the most important dating and relationship videos in all of the internet. Wish you made videos when I was younger, Great job.
10:56 healthy feminine is slowly dying as years go by
btw having drinks on the first date actually makes you more relaxed and open to the other person, you dont have to get wasted, alcohol like everything else is a tool, depends on YOU how you will use it
Also a friendly advice for all gals out there, dont say you are interested to go out with someone even when you are actually not, just leave the guy alone, dont try to contact him, i know you love the attention, but instead try to be more emphatic and put yourself in a role of the other person and if you really want to find somebody dont act unavailable and uninterested like you are doing us a favour by just existing, because this will just annoy majority of man who might want to approach you.
What a wonderful Easter treat - Courtney and Hallee giving us guys much-needed dating guidance!
Adrift in the “sea of dating apps” I got tired of barely treading water I swam to a deserted island and really have no need or desire for rescue.
I can't agree on the first one because if I set the date once for 3 days away from now then if you're interested enough in me, you better make yourself a note on the calendar. Everything else is I agree with, excellent advice! I love how well grounded and sincere you are with your feelings
Thank you, Courtney, so much for great content and another awesome video!
Speaking as a guy whose grey and white speaks to his experience 😇 most women don't like "bad boys." What they dislike is BORING. And what excites interest can vary widely.
But some women are truly into men who treat them badly, and that almost never goes away. Everyone makes mistakes about people, but repeating that cycle is a red flag, and often a permanent one.
The best way to pursue is to simply not pursue. Engage in hobbies, volunteer, join a hiking club or a volleyball league, a bowling league or any other activity you are interested in. Stay away from dating apps and stay out of the clubs. These apps and clubs are geared toward the worst engergies in both men and women by design. You want a real relationship, engage in real things.
Pursuing by not pursing is like Bruce Lee's method of: the art of fighting without fighting. :)
cant help myself but really like those reaction vids with your friend because they appear to be more genuine and not as planned out as other advice videos.
It’s great when you two collab. Great topics especially the masculine/feminine parts!!
I particularly don’t believe in pursuing or chasing someone if nothing has happened yet.
If you are just getting to know someone you show interest, you are clear and transparent. No games.
After you started dating and you have been seeing each other for a couple weeks, if both show interest, then you pursue.
But what does pursuing here mean? It means trying and making efforts to meet the person you are dating.
If you are dating someone else regularly and you “keep your options available” you are just doing something awful. And if you find out your regular date is doing that, ditch them right away.
Don’t trust these scammers and watch out about the real scam happening in the dating advice industry. A bunch of vampires preying on desperate men to make money ...
Again Courtney coming back to GASLIGHT men with non sense. These individuals don’t have any evidence of what they explain and did not invent nothing new. They just making content to monetize more thanks your to your celibacy that she claims to be able to fix but she doesn’t and this is why you are still here.
1 - You should be aware that women in the Uk and West are very racist and shallow in their choice with men so if you are not white Caucasian you may struggle more to date. Courtney won’t tell you that. I bet she herself never dated a Indian or Asian men , probably she shoes good looking white men who don’t care about the bullshit that she teaches.
2 . Your face/height are very important factors so if you are balding or have a bad face this might contribute greatly to your celibacy.
If you want no results listen to these women. They don’t know what they are talking about trust me. Even themselves date men who don’t follow their advice. To be successful in dating the most important is your physical appearance and it’s backed up by science contrary to the content of dating coaches like Courtney.
Don’t listen these snake oil salesmen dating coach online they will not tell you the truth.
Scarcity mindset is a load of bullshit, this people will make you delusional so they will actually not help you but they might worsen your case ...
Here are my thoughts on questions and the comments you gave.
I think it's somewhat telling that Hallee said getting in touch sooner rather then later when organising a date is better in lowering the risk of being forgotten or not remembered. In a way it telecasts to some extent that you haven't made a sufficient impression on her for her to consider you memorable.
I can understand that the clutter of life can be distracting and disorientating but I'm pretty sure if George Clooney promised to take you out on a date a week prior, you would remember, in fact you would be anticipating it every day until he contacted you again, but as a general rule of thumb I tend to agree with your comments. Sooner is better.
For the feminine and masculine comments I'm not so sure there needs to be a equal balance between the two, Men are predominantly masculine and woman are predominantly feminine and each find the other attractive in the opposite sex in the area of dating and mating. The rise of egalitarian relationships over traditional relationships where men don't fulfil their masculine role by taking the lead in the relationship is why people like Courtney find the feeling of being in the masculine role unsettling and unfulfilling, your looking for traditionalism. You can't be a modern women with modern tendencies and expect to be compatible with a traditional men with traditional tendencies.
You can try to cherry pick each aspect of each type of relationship dynamic as much as you like, but it's doomed for failure.
The flip side of this for men is the cliché image of the "Strong Independent Women" who takes on masculine traits, who leads her own life and leads the personal relationships she has, romantic or otherwise which would be a turn off for a traditional man. I'm not saying the men and women shouldn't have the autonomy to live their life's in the best way they see fit, but rather when it comes to the domain of preferences you can't walk into a bakery then complain about the smell of bread.
There needs to be an element of understanding.
Question 7 about at what age do women start to think about responsibility, stability and future potential has been outlined in the manosphere quite clearly for some time. Women are at their peak sexual market value at the ages of 20 to 27 and have a multitude of options which they explore quite freely. It's at around 27 years of age that the realisation sets in that her sexual market value is not on an eternal growth path into the high heavens, but instead has been in a steady decline (as everything does with age) as well as the consideration of children and starting a family as being important starts to set in as the looming impediment of the biological clock starts ticking down.
I hear that so much, people always seek better & miss out on the very best of opportunities
Thank you Courtney and Hallee for the video. You ladies have been very helpful!
The reason why she loses interest quickly...she wasn't interested to begin with...especially dating apps!
My point here is STOP RUSHING things! Pace yourself and if you're being shamed for it, good riddance
Could be the case for sure!
@@CourtneyRyan people need to stop rushing it and take the time to get to know one another...holy crap
@@tommygunn6901 well, for every guy talking to 3 girls there are 3 girls talking to 10 guys each and since women compare men (while believing men do it too when men don't) meeting people through the cell phone is not easy. I have a few thar know I'm a face-to-face kinda guy so we hang more than we text. So i don't have to compete through the phone and show off in person
@@drip369 so you were able to improvise by going for what works for you
Yes. Courtney makes things over complicated to make money 😂🤦♂️
When dating, it's all about being 100% authentic , have 0 expectations and go in with a neutral mindset and focus on having fun and getting to know the person you're going out with. I had a lot of success in dating on hinge and its how I met my current girlfriend of 2 years!! You find your person without looking for them, i am a firm believer in that
What if the date goes well? Does your 0 expectations rise?
@@servmlrcc having 0 expectations is more of a mindset. That way if it sucks, you're not disappointed and if it goes well you don't get overly excited. Also, you have a different vibe/energy that most girls pick up on. Aka u don't come off as desperate. I hope that made sense haha
Courtney, your videos are awesome. Thank you for all of the information you provide!
I’ll keep my salt with the pepper, I’ve earned this gray!! Lost to many people along the way. Lost to much time and I still stand tall shoulders back, ready for whatever is next. A man that dyes the gray should maybe recognize the challenges that life has literally thrown at us.
I gotta find that balance between pursue and chase. I work in sales and it’s the thrill of the chase and getting the close that I like. Not the same always with relationships. I have turned some girls who were really low to no interest before. Maybe it’s better not to put that energy in but I like a challenge.
Always great to see Hallee on here :)
Hallee spitting truth! "It feels like options but they're not REALLY options"
Great chemistry between the two of you
and I appreciate your perspectives.
Thank You!
When girls are attracted to someone they don't need to know them in a deeper level.
How dare you ! Women are always deep.
Yes Don’t trust these scammers and watch out about the real scam happening in the dating advice industry. A bunch of vampires preying on desperate men to make money ...
Again Courtney coming back to GASLIGHT men with non sense. These individuals don’t have any evidence of what they explain and did not invent nothing new. They just making content to monetize more thanks your to your celibacy that she claims to be able to fix but she doesn’t and this is why you are still here.
1 - You should be aware that women in the Uk and West are very racist and shallow in their choice with men so if you are not white Caucasian you may struggle more to date. Courtney won’t tell you that. I bet she herself never dated a Indian or Asian men , probably she shoes good looking white men who don’t care about the bullshit that she teaches.
2 . Your face/height are very important factors so if you are balding or have a bad face this might contribute greatly to your celibacy.
If you want no results listen to these women. They don’t know what they are talking about trust me. Even themselves date men who don’t follow their advice. To be successful in dating the most important is your physical appearance and it’s backed up by science contrary to the content of dating coaches like Courtney.
Don’t listen these snake oil salesmen dating coach online they will not tell you the truth.
Scarcity mindset is a load of bullshit, this people will make you delusional so they will actually not help you but they might worsen your case ...
@@guntertorfs6486 Deep as the pits of hell..
Great tips! One of the main reasons why women lose attraction for a man is because, attraction is like a plant.
If you don’t keep watering it, it dies. Getting a woman attracted to you, that’s the easy part - now keeping her attracted, that’s a whole new ball game.
One of the most powerful ways to keep the attraction going is by learning - how to “build a deep emotional connection” with a woman.
Once you have learned that, you won’t have to worry about her leaving you - she’ll be chasing you instead.
Anyway, that’s my two cents.
-Carlos Verde - Dating Tips
" Happy Easter!"... My take on all of this is...If there's a "Spark"....." Chemistry"....and a "Connection", then both people will always somehow & some way find a way to " make" the time to see each other! Be candid, open & forthright on your motive, intentions & agenda! In the end, people will always "show" you...who & what they really are!
Gotta love Courtney's massive understatements. Women having more options than men doesn't merely discourage men, it's a game changer. Swiping thru all my apps daily (Bumble, Tinder, Hinge, Coffee Meets Bagel, League, etc), sometimes I go weeks without a real match (not fake, spam, sugar baby, etc). Most of the rare matches I get are either unresponsive or just say "Hi" and ghost.
The only thing more depressing than men being essentially junk mail in women's inboxes, is that most of us haven't yet realized it.
GOOD TIMES!
The best advice for any man is to never make a woman an "idol" so to speak. And that's not to degrade women in any way, I love women but if you make her the centre piece of your life you are in for trouble and heartbreak. Every man has to have a strong purpose in life snd that purpose can't be a woman. Your purpose needs to be your main focus, all things, Including a girlfriend or wife will come along after this, but your mission in life has to come first. That way you're not chasing after her, you're not simping you're not putting her on a pedestal. You're treating her with love and respect for sure but not placing her above yourself.
The even bigger problem is that there is no purpose to life or in life... Except for having fun. Men like to have fun with Women, enough said... Our bodies purpose is to procreate and continue the species, so it's a ridiculous notion and against nature that we wouldn't put the other person as the center of attention or center piece in life.
@@prussiansocietyofamerica There absolutely is a purpose to your life but its not going to be handed to you on a silver platter. You have to search for it. As it says in the bible......Seek and ye shall find. Take action, put your energy into seeking your purpose not into seeking after women. And you'll find it, if you look and don't give up, you'll find the reason why you were born. To come to this earth and just reproduce.......what a waste. Put your energy into something that has true and lasting meaning, something that will benefit generations to come.
@@eoinbrennan3949 Total Nonsense. Also, the Bible was written by the controllers of this world, not by God.
@@prussiansocietyofamerica I'm sorry you feel that way. Best of luck
2 classy women right here
🥰❤️
"Hey would you prefer to go for coffee or drinks? What time are you free?" I like that. I think I'll try that when I start dating again. I'll make one adjustment though and that is "a drink" not "drinks". Drinking more than one drink on a first date is a mistake and asking for problems. Either you're drinking too quickly in which case you're both inebriated (which I don't think I need to take the time to explain the pitfalls there as they're pretty obvious) OR you're spending too much time on the first date. Have somewhere to be or a responsibility that you need to leave for (hopefully you've built your life so that's already the case anyway without coming up with reasons). That way you take the time to see if she is attracted, interested, and somewhat of an understanding of her character but otherwise leave so you can take time to think and reflect. That is the purpose of a first date. If its going well, it shouldn't be difficult to agree to a 2nd date. If that is difficult to achieve, ask yourself why. It's supposed to be easy at that stage with someone you're going to potentially be partners with. If its not a fit or you find yourself having to work really hard to keep her attention, cut your losses early as it won't get better.
Besides, while I have no data or evidence to back this claim, I have a pretty strong feeling that drawing that boundary clearly early and demonstrating that you have limited time and availability (meaning you are scarce/needed/popular/etc) will probably work in your favor and encourage a woman (especially a feminine woman) to be more attracted to you. I'd love to hear a woman's perspective on that question.
This also has the added benefit of cutting unnecessary costs down as coffee or a drink is not all that expensive especially when compared to grand romantic gestures that you should not be offering yet (unless you want the quality she selected you for to be money in which case, go for it, splash that cash). And let's be honest, the economy is not great and most of us don't have the time, money, or both to be wasting on dates if there's no real interest or it never had a chance from the beginning.
"Coffee or a drink" is the way to go. The predate date.
Love your perspective ladies as it is always informative and well articulated. Like you I hate the terms masculine and feminine and tend to prefer terms like Active and Passive, Physical and Spiritual, Mental and Emotional, Yin and Yang, Direct and Subtle, Grounded and Free, ect. I think people try to use the Masculine and Feminine as a way to pigeon hole multiple aspects into one gender to make it easier but also to either compliment or insult a person who has traits generally associated with a specific gender.
if she forgets who you are between Tuesday and Friday, #SheBelongsToTheStreets
You ladies are both killing the hair game! Nice beach waves! 👍💯
"Good for you ...can't relate!"
LOL - thanks for brightening my evening Courtney!
This was a really good episode! This is the kind of pep talk I'm looking for when I'm searching for a dating centric channel or podcast
I am of the opinion that most women prefer a more submissive role within a relationship. Women like men who take the lead. I think that men however need to accept responsibility for being the dominant partner, but dominant does not mean 'abusive' or 'violent' or anything, most of all it means being self disciplined.
Despite years of toxic feminist conditioning females are naturally submissive for the most part. And should be. Again submissive does not mean weak or stupid, but no woman is ever going to be submissive with someone she cannot trust to look after her.
BINGO! 👏
Meh, doesn't work for all guys
If you are interested in a girl, you both should definitely walk side-by-side, together, but if you have to chase her that means she is running away and that's pretty simple to distinguish
So thankful for you Courtney. You are delightful and these videos/topics are very important and get scant little attention in MSM. You're actually a great role model for young women and a voice of reason in the decadent wilderness we find ourselves in. As a young man dating, there are soooo few women who are marriageable it gets really frustrating. Somehow you have a logical mind but are very feminine and don't imbibe the propaganda that being feminine is 'weak'. Quite a unicorn really, but I must say there are very, very few women who have a realistic idea of their own value, first off, and secondly the long-term consequences of living a party/hedonistic lifestyle based on pleasure-seeking. Women are more fragile than men and although the party lifestyle is not good for men either, it's soooo much worse on women. But they're having so much fun and anyone who dares criticize sluttery or selfish behavior is called a 'misogynist' and loses social standing, so most men shy away from criticizing.
A topic I'd love to see you cover is not being FICKLE when evaluating a mate. LOT of women are primarily interested in fickle stuff, like 'i need a date for this wedding' or they absolutely need the guy to be over 6'2 or something like that. Or perhaps they really want a guy who has a beard or who has the exact same politics as them or likes the same music, drives a Jeep, etc. None of these things matter in terms of having a healthy relationship. A man's CHARACTER is what matters, primarily. Yes, there are objectively attractive or less attractive traits too, but these are more deeply rooted and aren't fickle BS like what kind of a car a guy drives or w/e. Charisma, for example, isn't fickle. I'm beginning to see why a woman's father and/or brothers would often exercise some authority over what guy she chose to marry --- on their own, women seem mostly lost and clueless for what a good man is. Some guys are good guys and attractive -- that should be your endgame.
Hi Courtney, I really appreciate the content keep up the good work, thanks a lot
Coffee date is my ideal first date. More relax and causal and to get to know them better.
And run out fast if it's terrible 😄
I agree, girls tend to feel very comfortable in coffee places. The more relax they get, the easier for a man to read them.
You can also slip them a roofie
13:21 because you have value and respect yourself. Quality demands quality
I find that it happens frequently that girls give me a look and if I even make eye contact,they give me the biggest smile and sometimes it turns into a conversation.
Made lots of mistakes as a younger guy but watching these later on in life is nice to listen to. Moving to portland for a job and looking to date.
I think if a person continues to date someone he/she should slowly get to know that person better and not cramming questions to get to know that person. Enjoy the time with this person and that person will come out as themselves. Most people on their first dates try to be on their best behavior.
You can learn a lot without asking questions. Gotta be observant with facial expressions, environment, body language and word choice. All speak volumes
@@drip369 Great obsevation. I would add to that: if these stay consistent, across multiple dates and different venues/contexts, then you're probably witnessing the other person's stable, enduring personality traits.
@@drip369 True but sometimes you can misread someone's facial expression and body language. You and some other person might think she is thinking something different. You two might interpret her differently with her body language as well.
Take a step back, the problem is people do not date those that they are interested in or attracted too. People date to use others and to try things out, that's why they don't want to "get to know the other person". And there aren't that many interesting people around these days, with people's obsession in chasing wealth and status. People are too far into themselves.
right within first minute, I sensed that this is not the right video. Modern dating is broken. In the first 10 seconds she says that let me look up my calendar to see who is this, or IG, whatever. I get the point that people have busy lives but don't kid yourself. When somebody is genuinely interested, guy/girl don't just forget the name, or face. With this plethora of options, and ghosting and what not, the incentive to genuinely pursue someone is not there. I don't think dating should be as complicated as to think about whether to text a girl on Tuesday or Friday. Either I am alone in this thinking or there is something seriously wrong with this video.
This is so interesting about the initial connection. There is a video from a relationship scientist from Hinge who says "eff the spark". Initial spark tends to flame out quickly. While better long term options are dropped immediately because of the lack of spark.
You are not doing a coffee date late at night. Sometimes, grabbing drinks is easier than going to dinner, as it makes both parties more laid back. Dinner can get awkward sometimes on a first date as you are sitting across from your date usually and watching them eat. As for getting a few drinks, you can sit at the bar and be close to this person and make physical contact needed to spark attraction.
Why do we keep saying "try to get them off the dating app as soon as possible" as though that's actually a realistic goal? She is going to stay on that app while dating you and you'll be lucky if she stops when you guys decide to "get serious"...
In fact, when you are out on that date know that she very likely just dated somebody else off the app in the last few days if not right before meeting you.
Many people, if left to their own devices, will be happy with having long-distance, electronic pen pals. That's what is meant by "get them off the dating app as soon as possible." You want to actually meet in person, to see if there's any chemistry there, so you don't waste each other's time.
She may still be on the dating app initially after meeting you, but as you begin developing a serious relationship with another person, she should get off the dating app, and so should you. Still being there, means you're shopping around for someone better. You should just break up if you don't want a relationship with the other person, instead of going the passive aggressive route.
When I used to do dating apps. I would open with a pick up line or something I can relate to in a photo of there's. And get the number as soon as possible. Your odds for a hookup go way up if you get an actually number.
This is exactly what men do too.
All I'm saying is let's not pretend. I do it as well but I am also up front about it. I've worked on myself to the point where every plate I spin knows about the others and if they don't like it nobody's making them stay.
@@Saphire_Throated_Carpenter_Ant if you choose to share that info, cool. It doesn't make you any better person though
I do not do dating Apps anymore.....I have met more cool girls while mountain biking....or shopping for that matter...
Now I have a first date on Tuesday, this video definitely didn't hurt! Cheers Hallee & Courtney.
i feel like the mention that not every female wants the bad boy type speaks a great deal. a lot of these channels put all women in the mindset of something intense and like you need to put all this effort in to woo them. the reality that not every single one of them are that way does a lot. there truly may be someone for everyone out there