The surprising dark side of empathy - BBC REEL
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- Опубліковано 27 бер 2022
- Empathy is often seen as a positive, desirable trait, but researchers have found that being too empathetic can actually lead to exhaustion, apathy, aggression and even cruelty.
Video by Yasmeen Ismail
Animation by Danielle Rhoda
#bbcreel #bbc #bbcnews
Anything in extreme becomes toxic. Think about love, translating in stalking and hararasement and many more.
Empathy helps a mom to feel her baby pain and essential for the survival of human race. But over powered by this emotion becomes toxic.
Be in middle of each spectrum
That's not love, that's power. Adler, a great psychoanalyst, wrote: Where their is will to power, there is no love. Where there is love, there is no will to power.
@@peculiarlittleman5303 well said may be where people believe they are loving them or being in their shoes but actually there's a power control thing.
Thats not love is obsessión
@@peculiarlittleman5303 power? Thats not love like I said thats obssesion.
Love isn’t attachment.
Compassion doesn’t help if you are powerless to help. Then comes anger which is a very toxic emotion. The news is enough to wipe me out.
The way I see it, the video is not describing the dark side of empathy at all. It’s more about how the instinct to belong to a group can override empathy by removing the commonalities from the opposing group and reinforcing the differences. It happened with slavery. It happens with wars.
Feeling higher empathy for your own group corresponds with more hatred for other groups in some studies.
It happens with family, it happens with one's boyfriend, it happens with one's best friends, it happens with one's children. We always prefer our own in the same way that we prefer ourselves. It's normal, natural and healthy
@@sarita3337 To a point. If it goes too far then it is not healthy.
@@Catlily5 What do you mean, when it goes too far? You have a very unhealthy look at family.
@@sarita3337 Favoritism towards your own group is fine until you want to commit violence on other groups that are not like you.
Empathy/Care/Compassion without truth leads to all the world's great evils. People claiming to have these "abilities" are the same type suddenly "know" exactly the motivations of some enemy group. Without a healthy relationship with truthseeking behavior, your perceived diagnosis of a situation and your strong feeling for the need of action could actually make things much worse.
Well said. Reminds me of Reagan’s statement that some of the scariest words in the English language are “I’m from the government and I’m here to help.”
3:23 be aware that other's suffering is not yours but it is just morally right to feel for the unfornates. Use this to motivate to help
People on social media who are inside their own echo chambers could watch this video to gain some awareness on whether or not their empathy is toxic
Excellent work. This is what the world needs to become a better place.
I found the background sound annoying
Empathy destroys your own happiness. Help others but dont get caught up in their emotions. We're taught your are a pyscho if you're not wallowing in the misey of others.
Empathy is one modality of our minds. If we don't use all of the modalities of our minds our modern civilization will fall apart.
Isnt it contradictory? If someone can see the world from other person’s shoes, how on earth can they become xenophobic? Empathy literally means you can feel for other person. So in my opinion, if you are empathetic, you should be able to assess the situation even from your enemy’s perspective.
See Jose's reply above: " It’s more about how the instinct to belong to a group can override empathy by removing the commonalities from the opposing group and reinforcing the differences. It happened with slavery. It happens with wars."
Same way you will protect you own child before others.
But your enemies don't think like you do, and that was my biggest mistake.
But do these "enemies" hurt others? And you also feel the empathy for those others? You might understand how a young russian soldier can be pressured by propaganda, family, and country to be blinded to see Ukrainians as their enemy, for example, but if you ARE empathetic, you see even MORE the suffering of Ukrainian citizens as their country is destroyed and they are raped, killed, driven away. You DO see things both ways, but that does NOT mean that one side is EQUAL to the other. It never is. There is ALWAYS an imbalance.
This will, for an empath, mean two things.
1. You will not entirely hate either side, but,
2. You will be all the more convinced that the side being hurt the most in the side of right and you will be even more inclined to help them or fight the other side.
Discernment is important, but it is also important to understand that ALL people go through that empathic discernment process, just that some feel it stronger and are therefore more invested than others. It is also important to be able to fully accept in humility that you might be wrong or not in possession of all the facts at times.
You ask an excellent question! I too thought this was a contradiction at first. But then I thought about how one might create such a scenario. What if you control the information? Then you can humanize one side and dehumanize the other, channelling the empathy to where you want it to go
As an empath-who can feel people’s darkest emotions even when they can’t-I find that most discussions about empathy tend to be a self validating circle jerk. (I.e. Woe is me, I’m so overwhelmed by people’s emotions. I’m such a caring person.).
Additionally people tend to rationalize their lack of discernment/wisdom in situations as empathy, which is the excuse they’ll use to justify foolish decisions.
How do I know this? I’m an empath. :) I can feel people’s motivations.
Brilliantly written!
An empath? You sound like a condescending cynic.
Doesnt it make it easier to tear some ppl down ?:)
Being an empath in w rod; where people are constantly suffering is awful, constantly feeling stressed and anxious when you hear about anything going wrong
This is why good people need to stop demonizing money and power. If only bad people seek those things then evil will have monopoly, and good people will be impotent and filled with anxiety - but no means to help or change the world. 🌟 Humanitarians are BOTH compassionate AND powerful. They use power, money and influence to make large impacts on the world.
My personal experience has been that it's very important to have ppl to talk to when u begin going into distress.
It's difficult when u r the only person in ur circle so concerned about a particular issue or situation that is causing pain/suffering in others.
There is definite wisdom in "finding ur tribe," having other empathetics around to help balance ur emotions with plans and action.
People who live hostel dorm rooms and finding new arrivals on a holiday should be locked up in mental institutions for their serial killing of the happiness travelers have on their trips. Such parasites exist and they prey on the young and naive. They are always hungry for empathy and telling sad stories every 4 minutes. Ruining people’s vacation.
i watch a precious person die in front of me but i only feel a little sad the moment i realized this i forced myself to cry by smashing and rubbing my eyes in the corner of the hospital room so my family don't think I'm weird so i don't even know what this is called but i think i need mental help or something
Many need help
Superb presentation!!
This video helped a lot . I need to look into care system and compassion network.
Empathizing with someone I just met over her problems with her boyfriend is the worst mistake I’ve done on a long trip. Its BAD Luck and that girl was trash for being very insensitive. Culture and religions teach us ti be kind, especially to women in pain. It was really dumb. Everything was perfect and I worked so hard to start a new life. Then I encountered this piece of garbage who befriended me just to dump all her misery. I caught by surprise and my instinct as a good human was to emphatize.
You also need to distinguish between empathy and "being an Empath" in the sense of being a HSP.
A highly sensitive empath is never xenophobic. A HSP/an Empath feels automatically the emotions (the happiness, the anger, the worries, the sadness etc.) of the person in front of him/her - despite having an other opinion or having a different skincolor or gender etc. as them. A xenophobic Empath/ HSP is an oxymoron.
I don't think dark empaths fail to qualify as empaths, they're often just deeply wounded examples of empaths.
"Being empath" culture on the internet is bizarre and toxic...
I always thought I was compassionate and used the words 'empathy' and 'compassion' interchangeably, now I can't use the word empathetic to describe myself because my responses are hardly impulsive or I go into distress to see others in pain.
Even infants recognize and prefer their moms, their pheromones, their voices, which they recognize from the time they spent in their wombs. Our group is how we thrive. This neo-concept that we must FORCE ourselves to feel about strangers the way we feel about our own, is insane at best.
De kwaliteit van het geluid had wel iets beter gekund jongens
Interesting!
It think you are quite right - desensitisation can lead normal emphatic people to do 'I call it strange' things towards each other, though seldom (in my life, I've felt 'hatred' - only towards institutions, not ever towards people in distress) Does it makes me 'immune' - I don't think so, but almost immune to negathing my inborn empathy and compassion even with my physical pain. If people don't care about me, that's their choice. War and cruelty makes me angry, not towards people, but towards the institutions that promote it.
It deals with the side effects of empathy and ignorance. Like I'm going to hit an opponent when I find out my family is hit. But I may find out later that he wasnt actually hit. That means someone took advantage of the situation.
സഹാനുഭൂതി ഏറ്റവും വലിയ ഗുണങ്ങളിൽ ഒന്നാണ്! അതില്ലാതെ മനുഷ്യർക്ക് രാക്ഷസന്മാരായി മാറാൻ കഴിയും.
It would seem to me that there is no real distinction between empathy and compassion - these are just words (some languages don't even have 2 words for this feeling). It's a matter of degree and not 2 different things.
Empathy, compassion, one love, Hare Krishna, be happy Y'All 🙏🙏🙏
Interesting
You are going into dangerous waters there Philosophically...intuitively I always preferred empathy and I never liked compassion much and now I have an explanation, it seems mirror neurons are not activated with it, and I always felt like I ought to share the burden of suffering when others are suffering and yet I still try to avoid tribalism as much as I can. Tribal empathy is easy, is natural, while species and inter species empathy is really hard and requires an higher emotional EQ standard.
The idea that suffering must be avoided at all costs is plain wrong. Suffering does indeed illuminate, educate, and brings one to be fully aware of Reality as it is outside our own personal bubble of interest.
While I agree we ought to manage the amount of suffering one is exposed to to avoid PTSD (I have it) I totally disagree with the idea that compassion is the way to go to forward civilization as a whole. Compassion is a dampener off fake emotions that do indeed serve ones ego more then they do serve the actual pain of others which is what TRUE proximity requires. Compassion leads to charity not true Help!
I will say something inappropriate now...I wouldn't be surprised to see a higher number of psychopaths in certain areas of intense healthcare providers like surgery, first responders to accidents in ambulances and similar professions...same goes for firefighters, law enforcement, and CEO management...
In a global world we ought to have empathy with distinct tribes and share their suffering...that is not compassion...but if compassion is the middle step the compromise for normal people so be it!...
Let’s go
I’m very empathetic for peoples souls
Respectfully, Empathy is destroying the lives of so many children because people feel bad telling them they were a girl or they’re a boy setting the child straight when you’re confused. The role of the adult is to make sure the child understands who they are who they were born, as not who they want to be, as who they want to be is false Empathy in this regard is certainly evil in my opinion
So how do you lead folks from empathy to compassion?
Watch again at 4:47. Transforming healthy emphatic response in compassion.
@@midknight5812 She says you can learn to move from empathy to compassion, and talks about "mental training practices," but doesn't explain what those are. Maybe that's what Laura T is talking about? How do we learn those?
You simply have to be Stoic and rational, I'd say. If you are truly aware that it is empathy, then there is no good reason to for example get mad at those who you have angered. You'll just keep the feeling inside, while dealing with people in the best way you can come up with. The feeling should be an indicator and motivation, but not what determines your actions. Emotional volatility is common in empaths, and I rarely see empaths that are for example respectful in heated debates. Assuming they didn't avoid conflict in the first place, they are quick to take it personally, while more rational people keep their words clean and focus on the logic.
Thinking of myself as a slave to the world around works for me. I have to know how to satisfy others no matter how they initially treat me.
@@maurivanhanen9208 I don't think that is a good way to word it because most people don't want to be a slave.
Please use better audio quality
Don’t think too much empathy (or any empathy at all) is going to be a problem for the current set of young humans.
Agreed. Narcissism will be more prevalent.
its a combination of both I would say, empathy alone (just mirroring feelings) is useless, but it can help activate/fuel compassion (actions towards helping). Where empathy fails in group settings emphasis should be not on the differences but on our shared humanity to prevent from compassion not kicking in.
But my group is the entire biome on the planet……
Well said.
Compassion fatigue?
The BBC itself is the Darkside
I don't have empathy, makes me a better human?
It's really alright. It's just life. You dont need to be this or that.
Do you have compassion?
So that's the real meaning of empathy. Oh I guess I don't have it
I think this 'third way' compassion thing is a fallacy. There is only more empathy or less empathy. The video describes "compassion" as caring for others but without distress upon failure. Distress upon failure is a normal human response for activities we care about. The "compassion" thing is a contradiction.
However, I totally agree that we can pump up or dial down our empathy in order to ensure the optimal outcome for everyone. The first half of the video is incredibly insightful
I have empathy + social amxiety + adhd, n m fucked😂
Finally! Someone is debunking this anthropologist trend….🙄 that forced people to get together through lack and pain…“Going hungry will not feed anyone…”
Going hungry if you give your food to someone else will feed that person...
@@Catlily5 still generating another lack..now I don’t have…So…you’re solving a problem generating another…
I’ll change the example: if you’re on a relationship and the other person is going through a depression phase…You feeling depressive and sad FOR HER/HIM will not make himself feel better or change the circumstances…you just getting worst…because now you have 2 sad person unable to solve their problems…
@@cesarlorenzo_._ The depression one makes more sense. If I am overweight and give a starving person my food then going hungry won't hurt me.
@@cesarlorenzo_._ I do believe the point of empathy is to feel what someone else feels to a lesser degree. Then you can understand but you are not so emotional that you can't help the person.
Edit: But what do I know? I test borderline on empathy.
yay!
did this dude go to the theater with no clothes on?
I suspect lack of empathy for others because of things like skin color is at least partly a cultural and learnt behavior.
What? Feeling the feelings of characters in movies isn't empathy, it's hallucination! Empathy is about personal connection, not just someone being guided on an imaginary experience that includes influencing their feelings
How stupid! We die from lack of empathy.
Me and mines. I don't care for anything I don't have a relationship with.
That is the limit of human connection.
@@MrCrimanis It's a disease. Look for a cure. Hugs!
It's too late
In other words you shouldn't make a person addicted to nicotine a social outcast, especially when they got addicted in a time when every restaurant table had an ashtray. Even the doctor smoked a pipe.
It sucks.
Empathy should be reserved to your best friends. Empathy is the Dumbest thing you can do in this life. The next someone you just met acted like they needed a shoulder to cry on, unless you want to sleep with them, RUN AWAY or do what Will Smith to Chris Rock.
your talking about moral licensing
Never have empathy or compassion, these traits mean you are a weak and almost pathetic human being. Be ruthless and cold, it will surprise you how much you can succeed being a bad and nasty person. Never let anyone use you, instead you do the using!
This is more about capitalism than empathy
People make a living using taxes we pay to fund grants so these people can pursue this useless studying of empathy. I want my taxes back.
Clearly, you lack Empathy
These studies come as a result of scientific exploration of the brain physically, and scientific research of mental health and societal behaviour/issues. Trying to figure out why we behave in certain ways, and trying to figure out the best way forward for individuals and the human race as a whole, is hardly a waste of time of money.
Thank goodness some small portion of my taxes is going to fund valuable scientific research like this. I only wish it was more.
Empathise with your viewers who have to decipher the message due to poor recording.
I have empathy + social amxiety + adhd, n m fucked😂